#uma’s had enough of these two idiots

[unluckycryptid]

Popcorn Shrimp

Read on Ao3

Summary: Chloe didn’t know Red had a shrimp allergy. Neither did Red.

AKA My attempt at Glassheart Crackfic

—

“Hmm, that’s an interesting taste.”

Chloe looked over at Red with a confused face.

She had just grabbed the two of them some food from the dining hall in the midst of their studying session and brought it back to their shared dorm. Red hadn’t told her what to grab, just telling the blue haired girl to ‘surprise her’ and had gone back to looking over a chemistry question that had been causing Chloe some trouble. The red haired girl was still at it when Chloe had come back with a variety of different foods they had been serving in the dining hall. Red had taken one of the takeout containers—the one filled with popcorn shrimp—and immediately started snacking on it while Chloe was busy laying out the rest of the food between them.

“What do you mean?” asked Chloe.

“Is it supposed to be—I dunno—spicy?” Red shrugged as she grabbed for another popcorn shrimp.

“Huh?”

‘Was Red talking about the marinara sauce?’ Chloe wondered, but it wasn’t laid out anywhere in front of them. Looking around, she spotted the little container still in the bag she had brought all of their food in.

“It’s an itchy sort of spicy, like I can feel it in the back of my throat. Can’t say I’ve ever had food like that before. Is that unique to Auradon?”

Oh no.

In less than a heartbeat, Chloe crossed whatever distance there was between her and Red and smacked the fried shrimp appetizer out of her hand.

“Wha- Hey! Mmmhf!!” Red exclaimed mid-bite when her blue haired roommate turned and stuck her hand in Red’s mouth. Chloe retracted her hand and hurled the shrimp that she had just been eating across the room.

Red felt two hands grab her face as Chloe looked her up and down with an urgency.

“Did you swallow?”

“Excuse me?”

“Red, did you swallow the shrimp? Yes or no?”

“Yea—”

Red couldn’t even get the full word out before she found herself being thrown over the shoulder of one Chloe Charming.

“Chloe! What the actual fuck is going o—owww!”

The blue haired girl had started running and accidentally smacked Red’s head into the door frame on the way out of their dorm.

But Chloe seemed to ignore her, instead opting to scream at other people in the hallway to move out of the way.

Everyone did. It’s not everyday you’d see the usually polite and demure Princess of Cinderellasburg cussing out anyone in her way while full-sprinting down the hallway with the Crown Princess of Wonderland yelling every sort of explicative known to man on her shoulder.

Principal Uma’s office was much closer than the infirmary on the other side of campus, so Chloe opted for there instead. Chloe practically kicked the door down while shouting, “Principal Uma!! We need medical help!”

“Chloe Cordelia Grace Charming, you put me down right now!”

“Girls!” exclaimed Uma who had been enjoying a peaceful night behind her desk up until now.

Chloe basically threw Red down on one of the couches as she rushed to explain, “Shrimp! Red— s-she ate shrimp!”

“What the hell, Chloe!”

“Charming, I may be from the sea, but that does not mean you get to waste my time—”

“She’s allergic! Red’s allergic!” Chloe cried in defense as she pointed to the girl on the couch, “She said the shrimp felt itchy.”

All eyes turned on Red.

Now that she mentioned it, Red did feel like she was having some trouble breathing.

“Stick her.” The Principal grabbed an Epipen from a desk drawer and threw it at Chloe.

“Wha—”

The next thing Red knew, there was a sharp needle stuck in her thigh. Red looked up slowly at Chloe, both of their mouths open in shock.

“I’m so sorry!”

“Oh you little—!”

“No time for that. Ms. Charming, grab Ms. Hearts and follow me. We’re taking the magic carpet to Auradon hospital.”

“Chloe, don’t you dare pick me up again!”

“Sorry Red, Principal Uma’s orders!”

“Nonono—ghhhuuhh!”

——

“Oh my sweet darling rose! I’m so so sorry that I never thought of getting you checked for seafood allergies. Are you alright?” Bridget, the Queen of Wonderland, asked as she ran to her daughter’s side.

Red sat under the covers of the hospital bed, clearly not wanting to be there. The doctors were strongly encouraging her to stay and be monitored overnight. Of course, that meant she was going to stay the night at the hospital in this itchy gown.

“Yeah, mom, I’m fine,” Red grumbled before she was pulled into a bone crushing hug by Bridget. It was still so weird to Red that she had such an affectionate mother now.

“Moooommm, you’re embarrassing me.”

In the corner of the hospital room, sat her roommate and Principal Uma. The two stood up at Bridget’s arrival.

“Thank you again, Principal Uma, for bringing my daughter here as urgently as you could.”

“No need to thank me, Queen Bridget, just doing my job,” the Principal said as the two started walking towards the entrance.

Bridget turned towards the blue haired princess, “And, Chloe, thank you for calling and telling me everything.”

“Just let me choke next time.”

All three pairs of eyes rolled at the same time.

“Tell your mother I said hi for me, alright?” Bridget continued, giving Chloe a quick hug.

“Of course, Aunt Bridget,” said Chloe as she stepped away to join Uma at the doorway. She waved at Red.

“Bye, Red, and get back soon. Wouldn’t want this incident to shrimpede your studies.”

“You’ve been working on that one for a while now, haven’t you?”

“Why yes, yes I was.”

“Get out.”

“Alright.”

[sgiandubh]

Show must go on...

... and rather very much in your face, mind you.

Scottish Xena posted two stories at about 7 AM, counting calories, and, in the process, making sure to address roughly any objections that were ventilated on this side of the fandom, including this very page. See for yourself...

What are the odds she'd be talking about nutrition? Right. I am not an idiot. I know when something is way Over The Top - less is more, Xena. Less is always more: there was no need to overdo it like that, placemat and all, if you wanted to remain credible. You read us and you have been instructed to do so, just to perfectly stick to your walking, talking and very profitable Local Innuendo script.

Fair enough. And then, you also tell us that you will be at Hyrox today around noon, to film some ESN promo: your bread and butter, of course. S is just for shits, giggles and that Instagram yield:

So, there's that. *urv connecting dots like crazy, without having the slightest clue of what was discussed at that table. Her own brand of cheap fanfic for the masses, for the other five clowns commenting, out of which three at least are her own sock accounts.

Cue in the Useful Idiot. The Brazilian Tourist and Fan. Uma senhorita tão desagradável, who changed her story in between her first reaction reel and the debrief, back at her suburban Airbnb or where the fuck that was filmed.

First reaction reels:

'Just saw SH.' Not alone, oh no: 'com uma moça'. With a girl. So yeah, she had qualms asking for a pic.

First lie and dramatization. She posts a message for S where she explains she did not dare approach him, but she saw him alright. The one in Portuguese is completely different, though: 'I am going to post the video without sound, because I could only say "what a shame", while I was filming him on the sly. LOL.' I guess she thinks we are all idiots, or something. Also, in her reel, she confirms: 'ele estava almoçando com outra pessoa'/he was having lunch with another person. So far, so good, right?

Six hours later, a second debrief batch of reels, taking her reader's questions. The narrative changes, with a strong bias:

'Yes, he is super accessible and educated! I did not freak out, I just politely asked to take a pic (what I do consider the right way to approach famous people, at the end they are still human beings).'

For the people in the back: she is a lady. And a liar. The worst kind of liar, actually: a narcissistic one. Let's see what else she takes great pains telling us: 'ele tem um fandom bem tóxico'/he has a very toxic fandom. From now on, we just know what to expect, right?

Second answer, she explains he is very tall. He went inside to pay the bill and then he also went towards the bathroom (wtf?), she followed him inside, she asked for the menu, he finally went out and she approached him ('abordei' - 🙄) between the door and her table. Classy.

Cue in to a third answer (and second lie) to a very odd question: 'what did he smell like?' or something along those lines. For this one, I had to ask confirmation from Shipper Mom, who told me two things (she knew next to nothing about the whole episode- no bias): ' it's damn hard to understand what the hell she is talking about, she is eating half of her words. Plus you can tell she is lying.'

He doesn't smell, she tells us. But hey, she also freaked out a bit, finally (I thought she hadn't?!) and then well, 'ele estava com outra pessoa, uma moça, deve ser a namorada dele'/ he was with another person, a girl, probably his girlfriend'. But then he went inside (again? wasn't he coming out of the venue?), 'and the girl stayed at the table'. Things go murky afterwards, like they absolutely always do: she tells us she spoke to her (?), but would not say anything more, yet making sure to tell us she 'saw both of them'.

If anyone has a better version than mine, please step forward: we listened three times in a row, with Shipper Mom, a teacher of Portuguese and published literary translator. She was appalled by this young woman's carelessness and mendacity.

The Brazilian Tourist Fan is 23 years old (and it shows), she presents herself as a journalist and writer:

Seriously? What are the odds?

And finally, to wrap it up, the classical cheering moment, at yesterday's Hyrox: ' yeah, Sarah, nice!'

Nice, indeed.

FFS. Will it ever end?

Yes, it will. Anything ends: even Stalin's terror.

[grotesquehorse]

Red, White and Royal Blue (2023) is a tragedy, but not for the reasons that people who hate the book on principle are talking about. It's not just a bad adaptation, it's a bad movie. There is nothing redeeming about it except the casting of Sarah Shahi as Zahra.

First of all, I want to say, that the book DOES have depth. Just because a book is a romcom doesn't mean it doesn't have depth. And I'm sick and tired of seeing the criticism from people who didn’t read the book say "people are complaining that the movie doesn't have depth but the book didn't have depth either, so what were you expecting". It fucking has depth. And I have a right to be upset that the movie absolutely fucking butchered it.

The Casting

The casting, although it has been criticized, has not been criticized for the correct aspects. Nick and Taylor have enough chemistry to be passable for a romcom - it's not great, but at least it wasn't Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant in Two Weeks Notice.

The casting for Alex was not good. I have nothing against Taylor, but his thousand-yard stare had nothing behind the eye(lashes) and actively hindered any and all of Alex’s interactions. Nick was better; Henry is a more subtle character (as he has to be), and this was portrayed much more convincingly.

Nora was fucking annoying and her actress was bad. Uma Thurman does not belong in this movie. Stephen Fry, although the funniest possible actor to put in that role, shouldn't have been in this movie either.

Alex, as a character, was butchered. He should have a Type-A, bouncing off the walls, undiagnosed ADHD, horny but anxious confidence about him. Movie Alex was entirely wrong. I would call him suave, but I don't find him charming. The audience is supposed to think he's suave, maybe, but this is the wrong character trait to give him. He is supposed to be confident and charming, but not suave. There is nothing going on in his head, and this is especially detrimental when Book Alex’s main personality trait is that he overthinks everything at every possible angle.

The Alex and Henry Relationship

The first kiss between Alex and Henry and the scene preceding it are all wrong. Movie Alex is kissing multiple different women and Henry is much more isolated than in the book. Alex’s first line in the confrontation is supposed to be "what are you doing out here?" not "did I do something wrong?" when Henry leaves the party; it's supposed to be more nuanced. Henry should be feeling "of course he's straight, he can't want me, I can't want him" not "betrayed because Alex kissed someone who is not me". Alex is not supposed to know that Henry is upset. Alex is not supposed to think that he is the cause of Henry being upset. The movie cuts any of the depth between them. Another core personality trait of Alex, is that he is selfish. He forgets to text June back about dinner, he gets wrapped up in his own head, he doesn’t understand his friendship/relationship with Liam. He doesn’t understand that he may be the cause of Henry’s emotions.

The camping scenes touched on Alex being selfish, but again, in all the wrong ways. He starts talking about how they could be out as a real couple after the reelection, but he fails to consider that Henry is a prince of England. Truly baffling writing choice, considering Alex is supposedly intelligent and political and, while selfish, extremely aware of the politics surrounding his and Henry’s relationship. Book Alex would never have suggested that they come out the way that Movie Alex did. Movie Alex is a fucking idiot, and didn’t do much to even try to convince me otherwise.

Although I hoped that the movie would be more romcom and less political/royal drama, I’m still dissatisfied with how the movie executed this. There was no journey watching Alex and Henry become friends. There was no "I’ve been in love with you for years" from Henry. There was no "you obsessively looked at his picture in a magazine" from Alex. A large part of the animosity between them, for Alex, is that they are constantly compared in the media. They are uniquely perfect for each other because they are both in very specific spotlights. This aspect of their relationship is completely absent from the movie.

My friend wouldn't let me skip the sex scene, but just know that it was fucking uncomfortable.

The Implications

The combination of Liam and Rafael Luna into one journalist character is a twofold character assassination. You can't take a high school hook up and a gay political professional (who Alex looked up to) and combine them into a journalist. It doesn't work. Miguel, the journalist, acts like a villain immediately - sunken eyes with a scorned lover attitude. He's a joke. There's no nuance in taking two crucial pieces of Alex’s sexuality journey and mashing them together to create an evil gay guy with no explanation.

It's implied that Miguel leaked the emails, but this ignores the actual triple agenting that Rafael Luna was doing. This movie is rated R, but we can't talk about a man attempting to sexually abuse another man because we can't talk about sexual assault amongst the LGBT community; that would make the gays look bad. But we can diminish two characters and create an evil gay journalist archetype who just wants to out Alex and Henry for his own professional gain (and maybe get back at Alex for refusing to hook up with him again). So, you tell me, which gay representation is "worse" for the gays?

Miguel had to be created to be the villain so that Richards, the republican candidate running against Alex’s mom, the one who abused men and attempted to sexually assault Rafael Luna, couldn't be the villain that he is in the books. Because that would alienate the republican audience. Because the republican audience is so crucial to the marketing of what is considered the first mainstream gay romcom.

The Technical Aspects

The social media editing was bad. The way the emails were done was bad. There was no version of this movie that would be successful. There's too much reliance in the book on texts and emails, and you can't build a relationship through technology in a movie. It's always unsuccessful.

The cinematography is Hulu-original bland. The directing was incompetent. The script was incoherent at worst, and over written at best. "trouble you no longer" is a bad line. "he grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football." what the fuck are you talking about.

I hate that the movie was bad, but it was bad. I don't know what fucking movie these other people are watching, but Red, White and Royal Blue (2023) is fucking unwatchable.

[humaforever]

I wanna see young Mal and young Harry sabotaging eachother in attempt to win over Uma

Hang on, you just gave me an idea-

---------------------------------

Mal walked up to the entrance of serpent prep, waiting at the assigned meet up spot. It was the first time she would be seeing Uma in almost a month. The two had become unlikely companions. Uma was a girl that was always up to cause some mischief, and of course, Mal was too. They made a good team. Despite being small and only eight years old, they could make people cower at the mere sight of them. Mal lived for that kind of respect, after all, that's exactly what her mother wanted for her. The daughter of evil herself, she had to be able to live up to that name.

Mal picked up some rocks and started throwing them at the wall as she waited for Uma to get out of school. Honestly she didn't understand why she was even in school right now. Like you could just skip, duh, school literally isn't even important.

Then finally, Mal saw those signature teal braids flowing in the wind as Uma made her way towards her. Mal picked up one more rock, just to have the thrill of watching it break as she threw it against the wall.

"There you are. Finally, I've been waiting since like, forever" Mal said wiping the dirt on her hands off on her shirt.

"Yeah" Uma said "Accelerated piracy class lasted longer than it was supposed to" she explained

"You know you don't have to stay till the end of those dumb classes" Mal said

"I'm aware. I wanted to though" Uma told her

Mal sighed "Whatever. We better get going. I've got the goods" she said pulling her backpack off her shoulder to show Uma.

"Smoke bombs, spray paint, firecrackers" Mal listed off

Uma smiled, "Wicked. I've got some stuff too" She said showing Mal the destructive items she was keeping in her own bag.

"Sick. I think we should hit up the Huns restaurant first. It's close and they're always an easy target" Mal said

"Sounds good to me" Uma said

"Wait! Wait for me" Came a distant scream as a scrawny little Scottish boy started running towards them.

Mal's eyes widened "No! Run!" she told Uma

Mal took off, but unfortunately noticed that Uma wasn't following and was in fact going to wait for Harry. Mal groaned realizing that Harry would now be joining them. Great. Just great.

"Hey Mal!" Uma said walking over to her with Harry right by her side "I think Harry's gonna come with us"

"Oh but honestly I don't think we have room for anyone else. This is a stealth mission, two is definitely enough" Mal said

"I am perfectly stealthy" Harry said

"Are you? You always have that ugly hook dragging on the ground" Mal remarked

"Oh shut up pixie" Harry said disdainfully

"Hey! I am not a pixie! Pixies are tiny and weak" Mal said

"And? That sounds like an exact description of you" Harry said

"Hey" Uma interjected "Don't we have to get going?"

"Yes we-" Mal said pointing between her and Uma "have to get going"

"Enough Mal. Harry's coming with us. Deal with it" Uma said, annoyed by the cat fighting

Harry smiled at Uma, waiting as she turned away and started walking before he stuck his tongue out at Mal. She did the same, quickly though as to not let Uma see.

Harry ignored her. Catching up to Uma and staying close on her heels.

By the time Mal caught up to them they were already knee deep in conversation. That was one thing about those two, they could talk and talk for hours and somehow never get bored of it. Currently they were laughing and talking about some kid in their class that was making an idiot of himself. Mal couldn't help but feel left out. It was her turn to spend time with Uma! It was her turn to share these jokes and make fun of people with Uma! Harry saw her every single day, Mal only got to see her every few weeks. It wasn't fair that he was taking up all of her time, all of her attention. It was Mal's turn!

"You know, Uma, this actually reminds me-" Mal started

Ha, she had Uma's eyes on her now and Harry was glaring at her. Perfect. He deserved to be ignored, fucking attention hog.

"I wasn't done" Harry interjected

"No one asked" Mal said

She grabbed Uma's arm lightly, bringing her closer so she could whisper and Harry wouldn't be able to hear.

"So what's the plan of action. I'm thinking firecrackers. Inside" Mal said

"Right, but someone's going to have to sneak inside. They're not open yet" Uma said

"Mal can go" Harry said, leaning in close so he could hear their conversation

"Since Hook was so insistent on coming, he can be the one going in dangers way" Mal said rolling her eyes

"I'll go" Uma said "I'm slippery, I can get in easy peasy"

"No, really Uma I think it should be the purple pixie" Harry said

"Harry" Uma said in warning, she really wasn't in the mood to deal with this attitude

"If we send this idiot in we won't have to listen to him talk" Mal said

"Mal" Uma glared at the other girl "I'm going in"

Fucking great.

"I'll go in with you. You know, to watch your back" Harry said

"I think I'll be just fine Harry" Uma said, though she gave him a small smile to show her appreciation.

The walk to the Huns restaurant continued this way. 'of course Harry had to ruin everything' Mal thought

When they approached the building they started looking for loose doors and windows that Uma could slip through. There seemed to be an open window on the side that was the perfect entrance.

"Need a lift?" Harry asked Uma, getting ready to help her through the window

"No. I can lift her. Stay away, we'll be talking about... Um... Girl stuff" Mal said

"You think I'm scared of girl stuff" Harry snarked

"I think it's none of your business, you little weirdo" Mal said

"We don't have all day! Someone give me a boost!" Uma said

Mal ran over to Uma, pushing Harry out of the way.

"When I lift you, you're gonna pull me in after okay?" Mal whispered to Uma

"What? That wasn't the plan" Uma said

"Change of plans." Mal said

"It'll be easier if I just go around and unlock the door" Uma said

"No, Uma please. Pull me in and let's just leave him" Mal said gesturing to Harry

"What!? Mal we're not leaving him" Uma said with finality in her voice

Uma wasn't going to leave behind either of her 'friends' uh, companions maybe is a better word.

Mal was about to slam her head repeatedly against the wall. She didn't come all this way to hang out with Harry, if she wanted to hang out with Harry, well, she probably would have to be forcibly kidnapped and tortured before she would ever want to do that.

"Can't lift her after all. Too weak?" Harry said to Mal noticing that Uma still wasn't inside or even near the window.

Harry pushed Mal out of the way putting his hands together to create a step for Uma.

"Appreciate that Harry" Uma said, crawling up to the windowsill

"Alright so I'll go to the back door, unlock it and wait for you there" Uma said

Both Harry and Mal nodded, watching Uma slip into the building

The two walked in silence to the backdoor, refusing to acknowledge the others presence. Mal smirked, as she came up with a plan. Quickly she held her foot out, tripping Harry. He tried to get up just as fast but she kicked him in the groin and made a break for it as he yelped in pain.

She ran until she was at the backdoor of the restaurant just in time to meet Uma there.

"Where's Harry?" Uma said looking around for the boy

Out of breath Mal shrugged "I have no clue"

Uma's face turned sour "Mal!"

[ignoredbellyaches]

AND WHEN I ARRIVE AT MY DESTINATION... I AM GONNA KILL BILL.

Ford can't remember his name.

WARNING: Heavy focus on suicide ideation, actively considering it, and the writing of a last note. Other than that, it's just general angst. Not proofread, we die like men.

Ford stumbles over some stupid root in some stupid, cryptic forest- He hates this dimension, he HATES it. How did he even get here?! He knew dimension hopping was finicky when taking shortcuts through witches, and he shouldn't have even entertained the thought... But it was pretty cheap.

He checks his energy blaster, popping open the fuel only to see it was running on maybe two more blasts. He peers over the rock he's hidden behind, his eyes darting wildly around for any sign of the monster that was (currently?) chasing him. To say it was huge was an understatement. It was at least four times his size, it... Two blasts weren't going to hold him over, not for that monster and not long enough for him to find more of the fuel or an alternative source of it. Ford chewed on his lip, trying to think.

A growl is heard.

Ford tenses against the rock, closing his eyes as he tries to listen for any other movement... It sounds like the beast is going in a different direction from him, but too close for comfort. He was safe for now. Ford takes off his goggles, rubbing away the collected grime and sweat on his face. He couldn't keep doing this, not forever. He couldn't even keep track of time anymore- was time even a thing out here? What was he even trying to accomplish— getting back home where nothing but horrific memories waited for him? No one was waiting for him, not except that damned Cipher. He was such an idiot.

Ford looks back down at his nearly empty gun, sighing. "Trust no one!...but your gun," Ford thought with a grimace on his face. How would he get out of this situation? Did he even want to? Obviously not, or else he would be discretely scavenging around to find some way out. He just wanted to rest without feeling the weight of the galaxy on him. He could always...

Well, he didn't usually entertain the thought. Not wanting to give into what Cipher surely wanted, succumbing to the madness and offing himself, but... It was tempting, Ford had to admit. He knew it was against all of his morals, that it would be such an anticlimactic end to his story, but... Who would even be around to remember his story? Who even remembered him? With how much time has passed, maybe in earth years, everyone he knew had already died. Moved on, blissfully unaware of his situation or they just didn't care. Not like he ever took the time to-

It was the logical thing to do. Work smarter, not harder. Ford pulled out the small journal he kept in his coat pocket, hating the damn thing but he always had the urge to record things. He wondered if anyone out here could even read it? Whatever. He grabbed the quill he still had on him from Earth, the only thing beside his glasses that he still had, and pulled out an alien ink that stained a deep purple instead of a black.

"To whomever it may concern,"

No one would be concerned. This journal would probably be eaten by some crazed feral.

"My name is"

Ford exhaled, closing his eyes. Did he really want his name attached to his corpse? Unwashed, unkempt, ugly bastard in the middle of some kind of forest. What even was his name...? He was... Was...

Ford choked out a sob, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth, subsequently dropping his quill.

Oh God, what was his name?

Against his wishes, Ford strains out another breath, trying to recollect himself.

He was... His name was-

Damn it! Why couldn't he remember!? He knew this, surely he knew this... Just remember other things, what's your mother's name, your father's, your brothers?

Caryn, Filbrick, Stanley, Shermie... What was he forgetting!? Some kind of S name, he knew. He presses his thumbs against his temples, his thoughts clouded by the memories of others. His father wouldn't be impressed with a quitter. Shermie must've been well past college. Mom would probably be gossiping to her friends right now, talking about how she hasn't seen her golden boy in ages- Stanley would've...

What was Stanley doing?

Last Ford had seen him, Stanley was calling out to him before pushing Ford into his own personal hell. Surely, he just went off without a care, figuring it was one less Pines to worry about...

Pines! Stan.. Stanford, Stanford Pines.

Ford moves his trembling hand down to his quill, focusing through his silent tears back to the journal. He steadies himself, and even though it took him uncomfortably long, he mustered the strength.

"My name is Stanford Pines."

His jaw clenched at his own name. He could feel his veins filled with hatred. Not only towards himself but towards... Bill. That fucker took everything from him. He was to blame, not Ford. A snap breaks him out of his trance.

His quill bent at the top. Ford sighs, taking a deep breath. His eyes open back down to the journal, his hand still before writing furiously.

"And I am going to kill the entity known as Bill Cipher." He slams the journal close, putting back in his coat. He can die later, but he'd be damned if Bill wasn't going first.

...

requests/asks are open : )

[silverloreley]

Hey, Hope ya doing well. Do you have any headcanons about Gil?- @descendants-extended

Not many, but I do have some.

His full name is Gilbert Charles LeGume, picked by his mother. Gilbert like Lafayette, and Charles like the pirate Charles Vane. His mom chose that before Gaston could call him Gaston Fourth or something.

In one of the books, Gil talks about his father's wife and not a mom, implying that his mother is not married to Gaston. Either she isn't around anymore, or simply he's a bastard son. I tend to prefer the second idea and I think Gil's mother is a pirate (not of Hook's crew) who had a brief relationship with Gaston.

He cares a lot for his mom, although he has to use his father's reputation as he's the famous one. On the Isle, it's an unspoken rule that children are akin to a property of their parents, and damaging a kid invokes the wrath of the parent. The more important/strong/powerful the parent is, the more protection (real or perceived) the kid has. Also, the more prominent parents have the right to choose to take their kids in to raise or not, no matter what the other parent thinks. Therefore, Gil grew up with Gaston, even if his mother would have kept him with her.

Gaston isn't the type who wouldn't cheat, in fact, I believe he has several children scattered around the Isle, but he only recognized (in the legal sense of the term) the sons who were most like him or were strong enough, and none of the daughters. Gil happened to be born a rather sturdy boy and Gaston called dibs on him. Therefore, Gil isn't sure how many siblings he has, the only ones he's sure about are his brothers. He doesn't get along with them, especially with the twins, as they tend to remind him he's a bastard and like to bully him.

He does get along marginally better with his stepmother (one of the bimbettes), if only for the fact she sees Gaston's sons as an extension of him and thinks it's her duty to take care of them equally.

So, Gil's mother not only chose his name but took care of him for as long as she could hide him from Gaston (until Gil turned two) and still does by teaching him sword-fighting and other pirating stuff that ended up being useful when he joined Uma's crew.

After Gaston took him in, Gil only managed to see his mother again when he was about six and was allowed to roam around the Isle like the other kids, after which she found him. They have a great relationship and Gil doesn't resent her in the slightest, understanding all too well the situation on the Isle.

His himbo energy and brain-emptiness are genuine, no doubt. That doesn't mean he's stupid (unlike some of his brothers), it means he has more emotional intelligence and practical skills than else, he tends to reason in literal terms and forget things easily, which leads people to think he's an idiot.

He likes hunting as a sport, but only if he doesn't have to kill the animal (or person. yeah, that's a thing on the Isle), as for him it's all about the thrill of the chase and capture and once the game is over he'd let the prey get away free. His father calls him a weakling for that, but Gil learned not to care.

He thinks of his strength as a means to an end, not as a value on its own. He's happy he's strong because he can fight and move stuff easily and be useful for his friends and crew, but doesn't have any insane pride over it.

He can flirt but, for the life of his, he can't tell when others are interested in him for real. Harry is the one who gives him pointers, usually. (This doesn't work that well because Harry is a disaster at it too)

He doesn't care much about living on the Isle or elsewhere: as long as he doesn't have to be in close proximity with his brothers and possibly away from his father, he's happy anywhere. Still, he supports Uma's plans and wishes as she's the captain and a good one at it (this is one of his mom's teachings: good captains have to be followed loyally, bad captains deserve mutiny. He isn't really sure what makes a bad captain, though, but Uma is surely a good one)

Once out, he and Jay went exploring the world as planned. Jay helped him get better at writing so he could write to Uma, Harry, and to his mom. When he came back, he simply reprised his explorations, but with Uma's crew.

People think he's naive. He isn't. He just prefers to keep things simple and it's actually hard to fool him when it comes to deals and negotiations. He tends to ask lots of questions that unnerve the other party until they spill the truth, although he asks them to understand things, it's very useful not to get scammed. He gets even better at it after his trip with Jay.

He didn't really connect that the High King and the Beast from his father's story are the same person until he got older. Even so, he has no animosity toward Ben and his family. Not at all. He always suspected his dad's version of the story didn't add up and thinks both Gaston and the Beast were in the wrong and should have let Belle choose, perhaps after a fair fistfight.

He hates the taste of alcohol. Some find it weird, but since it was the most healthy thing to drink they had around, he sort of finds it boring and prefers to try different beverages. Sodas are his faves, but clean water is a strong contender.

He'd like to find out who are his sisters and convince Uma to add them to the crew. Little does he know that there is already one of them on the Lost Revenge (in my headcanon, it's Desiree).

Okay, I had more than I thought, LOL

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

I posted 1,280 times in 2022

That's 1,273 more posts than 2021!

467 posts created (36%)

813 posts reblogged (64%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@idontliketomatoesleavemealone

@panthera-tigris-venenata

@dragoneyes618

@descendantofthesparrow

@softsmolbirb

I tagged 755 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#disney descendants - 510 posts

#cj hook - 195 posts

#harriet hook - 163 posts

#harry hook - 163 posts

#uma descendants - 105 posts

#hook siblings - 61 posts

#mal bertha - 46 posts

#freddie facilier - 45 posts

#utopia of the lost - 44 posts

#evie grimhilde - 42 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#the world should not be concerned about helga sinclair's daughter taking interest in hadguns and psychology and psychiatry and stuff

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

We don't talk about Bruno:

Dolores: „It's like, AND I LITERALLY CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH, it's like I hear him now.“

94 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#4

Isle kids visiting the Zoo!!

Because they live in my head rent-free

Yes, happy headcanons in our Descendants fandom

First of, it's Auradonian Zoo. It's security measures consist largely of „Hopefully, our visitors are not suicidal idiots,“ and the Isle kids will take advantage of that.

AKA the animals can't escape and harm people, but sufficiently reckless teens could totally climb into some exclosures.

Cut to all three Hook siblings jumping into the croc exclosure to show everyone how it's done. And leaving the employees and everyone not-Isle frozen and dumbfounded as they proceed to wrestle the crocks and win.

Unlike Jade. Yes, everyone will remind her of that.

*points at random lizard* „Mal, this is you.“ *another lizard* „Look, Mal! Here you are!“ *after looking for a reptile for slightly too long* „Finally, there she is! Everyone, come look, I found Mal!“

Mal: „WILL ALL OF YOU JUST KINDLY SHUT UP?!“

This was started by Uma and Jay.

On unrelated note, Uma's pirates enjoy finding the hiding reptiles in terariums entirely too much.

Uma's favourite is the Sea World exposition though, because, come on, people, there are sea ponnies!“

Harry would be happy to stay there with her all day, looking at the sea ponnies and sharks and fishes and totally not her reflection in the dark glass, how dare you even suggest that.

She also has to be physically dragged away from the manatee-petting-pool, because she kept chatting with them and attempted to climb into the pool, which is apparently not allowed.

Neither is allowed to jump into the bear's enclosure, not even if they „Look cuddly.“ Though to be fair, Uma, Harriet and Evie all pointed out that it looks like a safety hazard as soon as they saw that the railing is climbable-over and the drop is „not that high.“

Also, turns out that the Zoo keepers are not exactly amused by wild villain kids trying to race on the zebras, antilopes and camels:

Jay and Jade tried to persuade the camels into a race after climbing into their enclosure, a feat that the Isle kids agree could be accomplished by a sufficiently determined two years old. (The camels do not cooperate.)

Harry and CJ have better luck with the oryx gazelles, you know, the ones with the long sharp horns that could totally impale a person. („I'll bet you I could ride on that.“ „Bet's on.“ „What are you doing?! Miss?! Mister?! GET BACK HERE!!“)

The kids have too much fun comparing eachother to animals. Peacock is a fan favourite (All three Hooks, Evie, Anthony Tremaine); everyone agrees that Jay and Jade are some sort of big cat, only lying in the sun all day, and every single cute little animal you see? Yeah, that's Claudine. (She stopped finding it funny after the second time)

Everyone's favourite animals to watch are suricatas.

Everyone will deny it.

And by the way, did you know that you can't jump to them to pet them a bit?

Nor can you take the goats from petting zoo home. The employees will hear them making noise under your cloak.

Oh, and Harry attempts to steal a turtle. It's valuable and it's shell would make for pretty jewelry.

You know these walk-through monkey enclosures that have ropes in them for the animals to play on? CJ bolts from the tourist-route to climb on it too. The zookeeper protests that it's not safe, but Harriet just waves them away, stating that CJ will be fine. CJ is hanging upside down on the rope by this point and Harriet might or might not have spiked that cola she bought.

Oh, ice cream!

So much ice cream!

„Ben is paying for this, right?“ „Well, he better be.“

They are also very ready to ignore the no food inside rule until the Smee twins point it out. No one wants to be a bad example for the Smee twins.

Facilier sisters are good at pointing out the hiden animals. Like, freakishly good.

See the full post

101 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#3

Weapons the VKs would use:

The Pirates

(Hey, these are mainly just notes I made so I wouldn't forget which weapons I gave them in Utopia of the Lost. So if something doesn't add up with the canon, that's why.)

So, the pirates largely favour sabers. For the drama, of couse, and also because of a hilarious translation I may share with you one day. All of the VKs know their way with a dagger and/or knife.

Now onto the characters:

Harry Hook - He uses his hook, of course. To quote: Nothing says I'll give you a second smile better than a razor sharp hook in your hand. He can fight with a saber in his other hand. The idea of using a shield didn't ever occur to him.

Harriet Hook - She has two sabers. The idea of using a shield did occur to her, but where would be the drama?? Besides, she has Sammy, her first mate, to guard her back. Also, two weapons are better than one, right? More efficient.

CJ Hook - CJ is absolutely willing and able to to fight with anything she finds. She trades with Sinclair children, as Helga Sinclair sends her kids something interesting in an unaddressed package every now and then. Also, she loves throwing things. Very sharp things. Oh, and one time, she found a gun: this lead to Harriet banning guns and riffles Isle-wide and dumping the gunpowder into the sea. She locked the machinery on her ship. Never let CJ have a gun. She practically lives to cause chaos and she has no idea how death is supposed to work.

Uma - Similarly as Harriet, she fights with two sabers. No shield: She has no regard for her personal safety and both Harry and Gil have her back. Spoiler!!! She finds Triton's trident and uses it in fights too, because while the magic doesn't really work, it still has three really sharp ends. And it looks impressive as Hell.

Gil - Look, if Gaston taught him something, it's fighting. He knew how to use regular sword, dagger and various knives, and as he joined a pirate crew, he picked up fighting with sabers too. He prefers to fight with his bare hands, though, or better yet, to not fight at all.

The de Vil cousins - Diego, Hunter and Ivy are a part of a pirate crew. They can fight with sabers, but they prefer to keep their distance from the enemy. Preferably with the use of some expolsives. Uma banned them from inventing and experimenting in the port, because the pirates and fire do not mix well, so they meet up with Carlos in the ruins of Hell Hall every now and then to invent together.

Claudine Frollo - Before she joined the pirates, she couldn't really fight. She knew the basics, of course: strike below the belt when needed, go for the eyes, scream "Fire!" instead of "Help!". She has an affinity for fire and arson, but, well, the pirates and fire do not mix. The de Vils are strictly banned of providing her with expolsives, unless the circumstances are dire and the Captain gives the command. Claudine finds sabers barbaric. She thinks of poison as dishonourable weapon. This sends the rest of her crew up the wall. The day the Hearts introduce her to a zweihander, however- That is an interesting one.

101 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

#2

Hey, I little list of stuff I like and don't like in D3!

So.

Stuff that I consider canon. Crazy enough to keep its rights, or something:

Audrey getting possessed by the scepter. Key words: getting possessed.

Any and all Huma moments that might have occurred.

Ben getting turned into a Beast, mirroring his father's story. I find it neat.

Jane being the awesome good fairy she is.

Celia Facilier. Yep, she's the whole point here.

Stuff I don't like and therefore did not happened:

Eh, the storyline in general?

CJ Hook and Freddie Facilier, who were in Auradon already due to Wicked World, NOT meeting their siblings the moment they crossed the barrier. We were robbed of the combined chaos of Harry and CJ and I'll not forgive that. Also, I refuse to believe they would have been caught by surprise by Audrey. Those girls have been hyperaware of their surroundings and any possible dangers since they learned how to walk. Well, Freddie was. CJ might have gotten distracted and attacked Audrey on the spot. You know what? That is a scene I wanna see. CJ Hook going headfirst at Queen of Mean, not even impressed by her evil laugh.

The whole "Mal is Hades's daughter" thing. Just, why??? Why not just introduce Haddie? Why not let Uma, actual Descendant of Greek Parthenon, handle it? Hell, Evie could have been Hades's daughter instead! She has blue hair! That's enough by Descendants logic!

Uma and Mal reconciling. Just. No. Not at this scale.

MAL AGREEING TO SEAL THE BARRIER FOR GOOD DAMNING INNOCENT CHILDREN TO LIFE IN DESPAIR AND CONSTANT FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES, BECOMING THE VERY THING SHE HATED IN D1!

MAL LYING ABOUT SEALING THE BARRIER TO JAY, CARLOS AND EVIE.

...Looks like I'm getting slighty off-topic.

Anyway, that's just my personal opinion, so, like, I mean no offence?

Unless that's offence to D3 version of Mal. All offence to her. And to King Beast whose fault it was anyway.

136 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Disney Descendants 🤝 Ever After High 🤝 School for Good and Evil: the holy trinity of middle grade fairytale retellings in which the children were doomed from the very start.

688 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cmyknoise]

As your local emo, I noticed I don’t often see punk/alternative/emo songs on playlists regarding DSMP stuff, and uh, for anyone who wants them, here’s what’s in some of my playlists for characters! 

Edit: Added more songs, and for those who asked! Spotify playlists!! 

(coming from me? my favorite playlists are tommy’s, the crime duo, and bench trio ones. would reccomend them highly)

Tommy & Wilbur [Spotify Link]

Riot - Three Days Grace

For a Pessimist I’m Pretty Optimistic - Paramore

I’d Rather Drown - Set It Off

Freak Show - Set It Off

I’ll Sleep when I’m Dead - Set It Off

Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

Knives and Pens - Black Veil Brides

Oh Raven - Unlike Pluto

Wilbur [Spotify Link]

Atlas Drowned - Gang of Youths

Four Seasons - Los Campesinos!

Do It All The Time - IDKHBTFM

Duality - Set It Off

Partners in Crime - Set It Off

Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

Dance Dance - Fall Out Boy

Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy

Monster - Ghost Town

House of Wolves - My Chemical Romance

Bench Trio [Spotify Link]

The Kids Aren’t Alright - Fall Out Boy

Teenagers - My Chemical Romance

Burning Pile - Mother Mother

You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring

Horrible Kids - Set It Off

The Kids from Yesterday - My Chemical Romance

Stressed Out - Twenty One Pilots

Miserable at Best - Mayday Parade

Mean Kids - Ghost Town

Tommy [Spotify Link]

Aint it Fun - Paramore

I’m Not Angry Anymore - Paramore

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

Blah Blah Blah - The Oozes

Could Have Been Me - The Struts

Sing - My Chemical Romance

This is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars

Jesus of Suburbia - Green Day

The Only Hope for Me is You - My Chemical Romance

Fourth of July - Fall Out Boy

Tubbo [Spotify Link]

Na Na Na - My Chemical Romance 

Popular Monster - Falling in Reverse

Bulletproof Heart - My Chemical Romance

Save Me - Unwritten Law

Liar - Taking Back Sunday

The Kill - Thirty Seconds to Mars

Had Enough - Breaking Benjamin 

Pain - Three Days Grace

Young and Menace - Fall Out Boy

Favorite Record - Fall Out Boy

Ranboo [Spotify Link]

Eighth Wonder - Lemon Demon

Touch Tone Telephone - Lemon Demon

Two Trucks - Lemon Demon

Killer in the Mirror - Set It Off

Why Worry - Set It Off

Planetary Go - My Chemical Romance

It’s Alright - Mother Mother

21 Guns - Green Day

Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace

Bring Me to Life - Evanescence 

Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back - My Chemical Romance

Dream [Spotify Link]

Oh Ana - Mother Mother

Hypnotized - Set It Off

A Mask of My Own Face - Lemon Demon

Damage - Fit for Rivals

Heathens - Twenty One Pilots

Mama - My Chemical Romance

Dead - My Chemical Romance

Distance Disturbs Me - Set It Off

Sugar We’re Going Down - Fall Out Boy

Sleep - My Chemical Romance

Quackity [Spotify Link]

You’re All Scotch, No Soda - Sarah & the Safe Word

Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy

Icarus - Bastille 

Cult of Dionysus - The Orion Experience 

N.M.E - Set It Off

I Don’t Care - Fall Out Boy

Still into You - Paramore

I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace

Vegas Lights - P!aTD

Fresh - Artist vs. Poet

Badboyhalo [Spotify Link]

Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears/Lorde

Venom - Icon for Hire

Make A Move - Icon For Hire

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

Nightmare - Set It Off

Cancer - My Chemical Romance

Headfirst for Halos - My Chemical Romance

Eret [Spotify Link]

Heavy Is the Crown - Daughtry

Paper Crown - Alec Benjamin (unavailable on spotify?)

Body - Mother Mother

King for a Day - Pierce the Veil

Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance 

Dr. Doctor - Ghost Town

Bishops Knife Trick - Fall Out Boy

Irresistible - Fall Out Boy

Technoblade [Spotify Link]

Blood - My Chemical Romance

Plastic Promises - Set It Off

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing - Set it Off

Violent - carolesdaughter 

American Idiot - Green Day

Party Poison - My Chemical Romance

Champion - Fall Out Boy

Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy

Philza [Spotify Link]

Helena - My Chemical Romance

I’m Not Okay - My Chemical Romance

Centuries - Fall Out Boy

Blvd of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Hourglass - Set It Off

The Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance

Novocaine - Fall Out Boy

My Trains - Lemon Demon

Techno & Phil [Spotify Link]

Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance

Choke - IDKHBTFM

This Aint A Scene, It’s An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy 

Holiday - Green Day

Immortals - Fall Out Boy

It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Fucking Deathwish - My Chemical Romance

Twin Skeletons - Fall Out Boy

[descendantofthesparrow]

I put a Spell on you - Harry Hook x Sanderson! Reader - Halloween special one-shot

Halloween Harry Hook x reader

basic version of outfit for reader, can be changed as wished

VVVV 

=

Halloween night, 2007, on the isle of the lost.

Young 6-year-old Harry Hook sat in the hull of the jolly roger, pouting to himself as he picked at his scarce stolen candy.

The isle never got much in the way of candy, the most they got was during the month of Halloween that the parents of Auradon threw away early for some odd reason.

Though what candy the isle got was little, and the “good stuff” was still on Auradon.

And Harry had unfortunately gotten a bad pick of candy this year, nasty fruit ropes that tasted like death, molding “coconut” chocolate candy that was too mushy to really enjoy, and watermelon looking hard candy.

The best he got was little wrapped hard pieces of candy that looked like brown barrels that had a slight spice to them.

Harry dropped the piece of candy he was holding and sighed, starting to stand and getting ready to turn in for the night after the disappointing Halloween. “jus’ like last year” Harry mumbled, brushing off his horrifically made copy of his father's jacket, he paused, something rang across his ears. “wha’ was-“

Come little children, I'll take thee away

Into a land of enchantment

Come little children, the time's come to play

Here in my garden of magic.

“singing?” Harry quietly asked himself, turning towards where the voice was coming from. It seemed hypnotic or at least was supposed to be, but It had no grab to it as if it had lost its power.

But Harry's curious nature pushed him to seek the voice out. He snuck off his father's ship and followed the voice into the dark forest near pirates bay.

He ducked as he spotted an old slim woman, the one who was singing, waving her hands about and twirling.

“Winnie~” the woman stopped singing, spinning around and crossing her arms, and whining at a hidden figure “It's not working!”

“of course it's not you twit, the stupid barrier blocks our powers, we won't be getting any children tonight!” “wait!” a plump woman stepped into the mood light, her eyes glinting “I smell a child~”

“that’s just (y/n) you idiot!” the hidden figure scoffed, stepping next to the slim woman, and smacking her torso “keep your child inside sister, they will ruin our plans” “But we can use them to lure children! Maybe they can even lure a boy~”

“silence Sarah” the oldest woman scoffed, turning and walking back towards the rackety shack near a pond. “sistars!”

“coming Winnie!” the slim one called back, hiking up her dress and running after the oldest.

“But Winnie! The child!” the plump one moaned, turning her eyes right at Harry.

Harry held his breath and ducked behind a tree, freezing as he heard the woman sniff the air and continue to walk closer to his hiding spot. Wait…shit! he walked right into the Sander-

“Auntie! It's just me!” Harry's jaw dropped as a child, who seemed just around his age, popped up from behind the tree in front of him, a small smile on their face “sorry, but there's no other kids around”

The plump woman groaned and shook her head, stomping back into the shack. “little brat, fooling me”

The child watched until the door closed, slumping against the tree in relief as they looked at him “you shouldn't be here, you don’t wanna know what happens when my mom and aunts get their hands on kids” they walked over to him and pulled at the lapels of his jacket, the hood of their cloak falling as they did so.

They beamed at him “but im not gonna let anything happen to ya don’t worry……sorry I don’t know your name?” they tilted their head at him, their bright (e/c) eyes staring into his.

“H-Harry” Harry stuttered out, gasping as the child grabbed his hand and started pulling him the opposite way of the old shack the old woman were in.

“Nice ta meet ya Harry im (y/n)!” (y/n) chirped, flipping their hood back over their head and continuing to lead Harry out of the forest.

Moments later they reached the edge and (y/n) turned, grabbing Harry's arms, spinning around, and pushing him over the edge “now you have ta promise that you won't come back no matter what, and to never follow random singing” (y/n) pouted at harry, wiggling their finger in his face “it's too dangerous”

“I-um” Harry stuttered again, wringing his hands together before he stomped his foot “they aren’t even tha’ scary! I can take ‘em”

(y/n) just shook their head “doesn’t matter, they’ll eat you if they get the chance”

“e-eat me?!” Harry squeaked, taking a step back from (y/n) “wait aren’t yeh one of their kids- won't yeh eat me too?”

“no!” (y/n) shook their head defiantly, scowling at Harry “that’s just gross, eating kids, Id rather eat rotten candy” (y/n) crossed their arms and tilted their head at Harry “what you think all witches eat kids?”

“well, they-” Harry swallowed harshly “ur mums a Sanderson ain't she? She's known for tha’ “

(y/n)s shoulders dropped “well I’m not my mother” Harry felt slightly bad as (y/n) curled in on themselves, looking off.

“hey-i….thank yeh fer savin’ meh” (y/n) perked up, smiling at him.

“you’re welcome Harry, now DON’T got back into the forest on Halloween night ever again” (y/n) once more shook their finger in his face, pouting at him.

Harry nodded slowly, placing his hand on theirs and pushing their hand down “why Halloween night only?”

“because that’s when they think they are most powerful, and the only time they are brave enough to wander outside the shack….aunt Winnie makes me go out to get food and all that every other time” (y/n) explained, eyes turning to the sky and gasping.

“you have to get home! It won't be long before my aunt gets another idea to get kids, go go!” (y/n) pushed at Harry's shoulders, back towards pirate bay.

“Alright alright im goin’!” Harry yelled, shaking his head at the odd witch, he turned to start walking back towards his dad's ship when he stopped. He spun back around, watching (y/n) walk back into the forest. “wait!” (y/n) groaned and stopped, spinning around to look at him with raised brows.

“what” they snapped, glaring at him.

“will I ever see yeh again?” Harry asked, blinking in surprise as (y/n)s cheeks turned dark and they looked down at the forest floor.

“um-i-maybe…I have to go!” (y/n) turned and ran back into the forest to her home, leaving Harry at the forest edge.

=

12 years later, on Halloween night, Harry sat in his temporary room at Evie's castle, sitting on his bed while Gil and Uma sorted through their first real batch of Halloween candy.

Most of it had been leftovers from Evie's trick or treaters, but Evie had made them chaperone Dizzy, Celia, and the twins for their first Halloween.

And the younger VKs had somehow roped them into Trick or treating with them, which luckily the people of Auradon were nice enough to ignore that they were technically too old to trick or treat.

Harry could recount Evie scoffing at the “Age limit”, saying that no one is too old to trick or treat.

“Gil hand me that orange one” Uma muttered, chewing on a Butterfinger.

“The Reese's?” Gil asked, holding up the flat packaging and handing it to Uma.

“yep, thanks…Harry you good?” Uma asked, noticing Harry staring out the window.

“hm?” Harry turned back to her, his eyes drooping “ah, sorry Uma, zoned out”

“well, it has been a tiring night….I'mma head in for tonight, night boys”

“night Uma” Harry and Gil called back in chorus, Gil leaving after Uma a moment later, leaving Harry alone in his room.

Come little children, I'll take thee away

Into a land of enchantment

Come little children, the time's come to play

Here in my garden of magic.

Harry perked up, he knew that song…..he definitely knew that song.

Though this time, the hypnotic power it had was present, taking hold of his mind and dragging him out of his room and out the door of Evie's castle.

Harry walked deeper into the forest surrounding Evie's castle, the voice becoming louder as he walked.

Suddenly he was grabbed, the cackling of three women echoing in his ears.

“oh, it’s a boy! Hes Handsome too~I want to play with him~!”

“later Sarah, first we must take him along with the others back to the cottage, he’ll be the first for your child, let them experience the dark art of Magic!”

“ohhh! Yes! Let em’ learn, let ‘em learn, let ‘em learn!”

Harry's vision went black, and he woke later in a chair, something invisible tying him down to it.

“wha’?” Harry muttered, pulling at his arm “where…shit” Harry tried to wriggle his wrist to draw the small switchblade in his jacket sleeve when the three Sanderson sisters walked in, holding two small children in their arms.

“ohhh hes awake!” the thin one, Sarah he guessed, gasped, clapping her hands together.

Harry let out a snarl and thrashed in his chair, the sisters gasped and reeled back. “nasty one isn’t he” the one with the odd lips, Winnie, muttered “perfect for our little imp isn’t he Mary”

“perfect Winnie” the plump one snickered, licking her lips as she separated from her sisters and dragged one of the children over a chair next to Harry, forcing the young girl down into it and snapping her fingers, silver rope wrapping around the girl's arms and legs and binding her to the chair “there we go!”

Sarah giggled and grabbed the boy she had by the scruff of his zombie costume and dragged him over to the chair on Harry's left, pushing him into the chair and binding him with the silver rope that turned invisible like Harrys.

“ohhhh (y/n)~” Harry perked up….he knew that name?

From the door on Harry's right, someone stepped out from the shadows, wearing a long dark pink jacket that tapered off at their waist, a corset type top with fishnet under top underneath it, ripped black jeans with scuffed brown boots, a belt with a pouch resting on their left hip that held two beakers resting on their left thigh.

“yes, aunt Winnie” the teen witch sighed, their hood hiding their face from Harry. Winnie grabbed an odd brown colored spell book with an eye on it and handed it to the hooded teen.

“here, finish the life potion while we go get more children, the…pirate boy is yours to do what you wish with” Winnie patted the teens head and turned “Sistars!” she stormed out of the cottage, the two witches running after their sister.

“coming Winnie!!”

The door slammed shut, the teen watching the door for a good minute before they sighed and dropped the book on the table to their right “thank hades” they tipped their head back, ruffling their (h/c) hair and blowing a raspberry “thought they’d never leave” they rushed over to a cabinet and ripped the doors open, rummaging through spices and herbs. “wormswart wormswart, where are you wormswart-ah-ha!”

They spun around, holding a jar of some sort of liquid and opening it, a hiss of silver mist rising from the bottle, they held the bottle delicately over the cauldron holding the boiling potion of life and poured a single drop of wormswart into the potion.

The potion turned a sickly brown, sputtering into the teen witches face. “ugh” they groaned, leaning back and wiping their face.

They grabbed a large spoon and mixed the potion, stirring until it turned back into a dark green. “there we go, now they can't use it” the teen muttered, looking up and locking eyes with Harry. “now to get you all out of here before they come back!”

With a wave of their hand, a silver pocket knife appeared, and they speed-walked over to Harry, cutting the invisible ropes at his hands. “im sorry about this, I tried to spell them to sleep until tomorrow at dawn but im not very good at potions other than ruining them”

“(y/n)?” Harry asked aloud, the teen stopped, slowly looking up at Harry, their still bright (e/c) eyes widening.

“Harry! What-“ they stood, leaning over Harry and shaking their finger in his face, “I told you not to follow the singing!”

Harry smirked at them and mocked bite their finger, (y/n) gasped and reeled back, pouting at him and smacking his chest. “jerk, im saving you from being eaten and yet you repay me like this?”

Harry chuckled and grabbed the knife from (y/n)s hand, cutting the rope from his legs “sorry love, couldn’t resist”

“l-love?” (y/n) stuttered, backing away from Harry and staring at him oddly.

Harry just looked at them, making their cheeks turn dark “you….you grew up” they muttered, looking away from Harry.

“heh” Harry chuckled, standing from the chair and looking to his right “we should probably get them outta here huh?”

“y-yeah” (y/n) stuttered, waving their hand and another silver knife appeared, walking over to the boy while Harry kneeled next to the girl and started to cut them free. “I’ll need to break the spell my mom put on them before we take them back, otherwise they’ll get their hands on them again.”

Harry nodded, picking up the girl dressed like a princess and setting her on his hip, her head resting in his neck.

(y/n) picked up the boy and walked over to harry, muttering a counterspell under their breath, and with a snap of their fingers, the two kids snapped out of their trance. The Girl leaning away from Harry and looking from him to (y/n), her eyes wide.

“where-whats” her lip wobbled, starting to cry a bit. the boy stared at Harry with wide eyes.

“you’re Harry Hook” the boy whispered in awe, squeaking a bit as (y/n) rearranged their grip on him.

“that's all dandy but we have to get you both back to your homes, the witches will be back soon and I need to be here when they are”

Harry nodded, pressing the girl's face back into his neck and following (y/n) out to the back door.

“come on, the main town is this way!”

=

Harry and (y/n) dropped the girl off, who told them her name of Sofia, and hurried her inside. “now don’t go after random singing on Halloween okay, it only leads to bad things” (y/n) warned them, handing the young girl a slip of paper with markings on it “as long as you have this, you will be protected from my mother's song” Sofia nodded, unsure but ran into her house, slamming the door behind her.

“alrigh’” Harry sighed, shifting Elijah in his arms and looked at the young boy “where do yeh live?”

Elijah pointed across the street and down a few houses “tha’ close huh?” Harry muttered, letting the boy down and watching him as he ran toward his home.

The boy stopped as (y/n) called his name, turning as they jogged over to him and handed him another piece of paper “thanks” Elijah squeaked, bolting into his house and slamming the door closed.

(y/n) sighed, rubbing their face in exhaustion “two down….however many kids to go” (y/n) rolled their neck and looked over at harry “now lets get you home too”

Harry stared at (y/n) as they walked up to him and held out their hands “I didn’t do this with the kids because I know they would freak but I can teleport us to where you live”

“yeh can teleport?” Harry asked, tilting his head as he stared at (y/n)s hands.

“yep, me, my mother, and my aunts each have a special power, my mom has a hypnotic singing voice, my aunt Mary can sniff out any kid from miles away, and my aunt Winnie can shoot lightning from her hands” Harry nodded slowly, grabbing onto (y/n)s hands.

“so what now?” Harry asked, watching as (f/c) smoke started to rise around him and (y/n)

“where do you live?” (y/n) chuckled, smiling at him.

“uh, im staying at Evie's castle right now”

“oh, I know where that is!” (y/n) cheered, the smoke swirling around them for a moment before it dissipated, revealing them now to be in front of Evie’s castle.

“cool” Harry muttered, not noticing (y/n) look down at their still intertwined hands and hurriedly ripped their hands away from him, Harry turned to (y/n), furrowing his brows as (y/n) looked around with wandering eyes “don’t go back” (y/n) whipped around to look at him with surprise.

“i-what?”

“don’t go back, stay here” Harry pleaded, grabbing onto (y/n)s shoulders “yer not happy there, and yer gonna waste away being their slave”

(y/n) just stared at him, sighing as they grabbed his hands and slowly took them off their shoulders “I…..I have to, to protect the kids”

Harry sighed, biting his lip in thought “okay….but!” (y/n) looked at harry, confusion swimming in their eyes “after tonight, come back here, im sure Evie would be happy to accommodate yeh, i’ll even ask for extra measure” (y/n) shook their head, looking over their shoulder back towards the witches cottage.

“…okay” (y/n) sighed, giggling as harry beamed at them and grabbed their shoulders in his excitement.

“Okay!?”

“okkayy! I'll come back tomorrow after my mom and aunts are asleep” Harry grinned at (y/n), chuckling as (y/n) smiled back.

“but….why do you want me to come back after tonight?” (y/n) asked, tilting their head at harry.

“because you saved meh from them 12 years ago…might as well return tha’ favor?” Harry smirked, snickering as (y/n)s cheeks darkened.

“well…I should get back now….see ya later?” (y/n) stepped away from Harry, (f/c) smoke rising around them. “see ya later” Harry confirmed, waving (y/n) goodbye as the smoke complexly enveloped them and they disappeared.

Harry sighed, cracking his neck and walking back inside Evie's castle, sneaking back up to his room and flopping on his bed, closing his eyes and falling asleep instantly from the crazy night.

=

Harry sighed in relief as the next morning, when Evie turned on the tv and the Auradon news came up, some breaking news came up about how the Sanderson sisters had been caught attempting their old antics with stealing the life force of children and had been arrested.

And the child of Sarah Sanderson had been confirmed secretly helping the children escaped, as claimed by the many children saved by the teen witch.

“aint (y/n) Sanderson that kid you met on the isle when you were like, 6? Harry?” Uma asked aloud, looking over her shoulder at Harry as he stuck another piece of pancakes in his mouth.

He swallowed and nodded, picking at his scrambled eggs “aye, and I….shoot, Evie I saw ‘em again last night, and might have told them if they wanted to they could come here?”

“that’s perfectly fine” Evie gushed, wiping her flour-covered hands on her apron “I have plenty of room for them here, and-wait you saw them? How?”

“uhhh” Harry stalled, watching as Uma set her fork down and stared at him with raised brows.

“you did a stupid didn’t you?” Uma droned, leaning on her intertwined hands.

“uhhh, yes?” Harry winched, yelping as Uma sent a torrent of water at him “hey! I was bewitched! It wasn’t meh fault!” Harry pouted, crossing his arms.

Everyone went silent as Evie's front door got knocked on, Evie glanced at Harry and took off her apron, tossing it onto the counter and walking over to her door, slowly opening it and peeking around the door.

“oh! You must be (y/n)! Harry told us about you!”

“r-really? He did?” the teen muttered, gasping as Evie grabbed their wrist and dragged them in.

“yep! Now! Are you hungry?” Evie pushed them into the living room that doubled as a dining room that connected to the kitchen, (y/n) stared at all the vks, locking eyes with Harry.

“i-yes?”

“Great! I'll make you up a plate and you get acquainted with everyone!”

Evie clapped her hands and skipped back into the kitchen, giggling with Mal as (y/n) just stood awkwardly where Evie left her.

“yeh kept yer promise” Harry smiled, standing up and walking over to (y/n), putting his hands on his hips and leaning towards (y/n)

“uhh yep” (y/n) chuckled, rubbing their arm nervously “Im here?”

Harry chuckled at their awkwardness and grabbed their shoulder, shoving them into the middle of the room, in view of everyone “(y/n) this is everyone, everyone this is (y/n), they have saved my ass twice now”

“hi” (y/n) waved awkwardly, a small grin on their face. Uma stood from her seat at the island and walked over to (y/n), slowly circling her like a vulture. “ummm hi?”

Uma hummed, standing in front of (y/n), her eyes dark and revealing nothing….then she smiled, reaching out and patting (y/n)s shoulder “nice to meet you (y/n)”

(y/n) gave a small smile, “nice to meet you too….Uma? right?”

Uma nodded and nodded her head back at the island near the kitchen, where Evie was setting (y/n)s plate full of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. “yep that’s me, and your foods ready”

(y/n) slowly walked over to their food, taking off their bag that was slung over their shoulder and setting it on the floor, hesitantly starting to eat the food Evie had given them.

Almost comically, their eyes widened and they started to scarf down the breakfast. Evie giggled and tapped on the counter, grabbing (y/n)s attention “apple or orange juice?”

“apple please” (y/n) spoke with a mouth full of food, blushing as Evie giggled once more and walked over to the fridge, grabbing the bottle.

She poured the drink and set it in front of (y/n) who gently took the cup and started to drink, turning towards the tv as it went back to the Sanderson sister's arrest.

*they will be stripped of their magic and be sent to the new high-security prison implemented on the isle of the doomed.*

“how many kids did yeh save (y/n)?” Harry asked, turning to look at the teen witch. (y/n) swallowed her mouthful of bacon and shrugged.

“around 20, including you and those two kids, my aunts and mom didn’t get far before the Auradon guard was called on ‘em”

“hm” Uma nodded in approval, smirking at harry “good job”

Harry smirked back, standing and sitting next to (y/n), watching as Dizzy changed the channel to Sunday cartoons

“so do yeh think you’ll stick around?” Harry whispered, (y/n) turned to him, and smiled.

“yeah I think I will” they whispered back, leaning back in their chair and watching the show “Powerpuff girls” as it played.

Harry smiled, happy to have finally repaid his debt to the witch who had saved him all those years ago.

And it was going to be fun to tease them since they went all dark whenever he simply looked at them.

-end-

permtaglist

@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​

@lunanight2012​ @daughter-of-the-stars11​

@musicarose​ @remembered-license​

@rintheemolion​ @verboetoperee​

@random-thoughts-003​ @imtryingthisout​

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Yuma [Manservant Ending]

ー The scene starts with a flashback of a younger Yuma in the city

Lucks: Oi, Bear. If I were to die, you’ll succeed my dream, right?

Bear: Do you...plan on dying or something?

Lucks: Idiot! Who plans their own death? I’m only talking figuratively.

Bear: Your will, in other words? I don’t mind but I’m pretty sure I’ll be long dead before you though?

I’d rather not have you sacrifice yourself for me to survive. That’d be hella lame.

Lucks: Hah! Big words for a coward! Although I won’t stop you if that’s your wish. But you know, Bear.

They say that a real loyal follower considers their Boss’ wishes and tries to fulfill them, you know?

If I die, I want to think deeply of what I would want you to do.

ー The flashback ends as the scene shifts to Yuma’s room

Yuma: ...

( ...I knew, Boss. You actually never wanted me to inherit your dream, did you? )

( You only said that because you wanted to prevent me following you into the afterlife, didn’t you? )

( If I just lived true to who I am, I’m sure you would have been happy, even if the world didn’t change...However. )

That just isn’t enough for me anymore. ...Boss.

I feel like I’ll lose both you and her if I don’t become Adam. ...And that’s no joke.

That’s why I won’t give up just yet. Even if I’m not qualified...I’ll do anything within my power to become Adam.

By doing so, everything will be mine...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the hallway at school

Yui: Yuma-kun, can I go home now?

Yuma: Aahn? Yeah...

...Oh right, I just remembered somethin’. I gotta go to the teacher’s office today.

Yui: Eh? What did you do!?

Yuma: No mischief. ...Probably. I’ll get it over with in no time, so ya wait here, ‘kay?

Yui: Try and stay calm if possible, okay?

Yuma: I know. See ya.

ー Yuma walks away

Yui: ( Will he be okay...? )

( Yuma-kun has been acting a little off lately, so I’m worried. I hope he doesn’t become irritable like before again... )

Reiji: Excuse me.

Yui: Kyaah...!

Reiji: ...How dare you make such a sound? Utterly shameless.

Yui: R-Reiji-san! Anyone would scream if somebody silently creeps up on them from behind...!

Uhm, are you by yourself?

Reiji: I would like to ask you the same. Is he not with you today?

Yui: Eh?

Reiji: I am referring to your guard dog. Mukami...Yuma, was it?

Yui: Yuma-kun got called by one of the teachers...Did you want to talk to him perhaps?

Reiji: Well, yes...Aah, seems like he has returned.

Yuma: Oi, Sakamaki’s second eldest...The fuck ya doin’ to her?

Reiji: No need to shout at me like that. I have absolutely no interest in this undisciplined mutt. You are the one I want to talk to today.

Yuma: Me? The fuck, you’re bein’ disgustin’. If you’ve got something to tell me, then spit it out already.

Reiji: I would rather not talk to you for too long either, you see...

Yui: ( ...Would it be better if I stepped away? But leaving these two by themselves is a little... )

Yuma: ...Ya can go home first, Yui.

Yui: Will you be okay...?

Yuma: I’m not gonna do anythin’. I don’t sense ill will from this guy either.

Yui: Really...? Well, I’ll go ahead then.

ー Yui walks away

Yuma: ...So, what is so important I had to send her away? If it’s some stupid crap, I’m not even gonna bother listenin’.

Reiji: Rest assured then. I am sure you will be very much interested in what I have to say.

You came to ask us before, did you not? ...Regarding Shuu.

Yuma: Yeah...Is that dude even comin’ to school? I haven’t been able to get a hold of him.

Reiji: I can only assume he’s been wandering around in search of a quiet spot. Looking for that guy is a waste of your time.

Therefore, in place of my lazy older brother, I was thinking of giving you an answer to all of your questions instead.

Yuma: ...Unfortunately for ya, it’s somethin’ ya wouldn’t know.

Reiji: No, I am very much aware. About what you want to ask Shuu. ...As well as who you really are.

Yuma: ...!

Reiji: I shall tell you everything you want to know. Well then...Where should I start...?

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the living room of the Mukami manor

Yui: ( ...Yuma-kun’s late. )

( I wonder what Reiji-san wanted to talk about? )

( Seeing as Reiji-san actually went out of his way to come see him, it definitely isn’t just a trivial matter. )

*Thud*

Yui: ( Ah, seems like he’s back...! )

ー The scene shifts to the entrance hall

Yui: Welcome back, Yuma-kun. That sure took a while.

Yuma: ...

Yui: Yuma-kun?

Yuma: ...!

...Why the fuck are ya here...?

Yui: What’s wrong? ...Did something happen?

Yuma: ...No, nothin’ really.

Yui: But you’re drenched in sweat. Your complexion looks pale too...

Yuma: Shut up! I said it’s nothin’!!

Yui: Sorry...

Yuma: ...Che, Imma hit the hay.

ー Yuma walks away

Yui: ( Yuma-kun...? )

ー The scene shifts to Yuma’s room

*THUD*

Yuma: ...Fuck...

Did that guy really...? (1)

...I’ll never forgive him.

ー A flashback ensues

Ruki: ...Judging by your reaction, seems like you have realized as well. Yuma. ...That we are unable of becoming Adam.

Yuma: ...

Ruki: I am fairly certain that...only those who inherited that man’s blood, the Sakamaki brothers, are valid candidates to become Adam.

Yuma: ...So ya want me to give up? On my dream? On becoming Adam? ...And her as well?

Ruki: ...In the end, we are nothing but frauds. With our second-rate bodies (2), we aren’t qualified. ...That’s just our fate.

Yuma: Hah. So what? We’ve basically been used as convenient test samples? (3)

Ruki: We simply were not strong enough to defy destiny. Don’t put it like that. You owe him your life as well, don’t you?

...Eve will one day choose her Adam. No matter who Yui chooses, it will be her blood making the final decision.

When that happens ーー Yuma, you should do the noble thing and back off. As a way of returning the favor to him.

ー The flashback ends

Yuma: ...I won’t give up.

I have to become Adam and fulfill Boss’ dream.

I’ll crush the filthy rich, and change this rotten world.

...I won’t let her choose Shuu.

I definitely won’t let that guy who stole everythin’ I held dear away from me, become Adam...!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the library at school

Yui: Haah...

( I’m a little shaky on my legs...I guess that’s to be expected. Every time he sees me, Yuma-kun sucks my blood. )

( I’ve been instinctively trying to avoid him, knowing that my body won’t last at this rate. )

( ...Ever since he talked to Reiji-san that day, his behavior has taken a turn for the worse. )

( He sucks my blood at any given opportunity...And he’s back to being violent like before as well. Even though he had grown gentle as of late. )

( I guess Reiji-san must have told him something back then after all? However, he won’t tell me even if I ask... )

ー She grows dizzy

Yui: ( ...I’m feeling faint again... )

*Thud*

Shuu: What are you doing?

Yui: Shuu-san...

Shuu: If you’ve got the time to be surprised, could you please stand up...? You’re heavy.

Yui: Ah, my ba...

H-Huh? I can’t get up...

Shuu: ...Can I drop you?

Yui: P-Please wait! At least do it slowly...!

ー The scene shifts to the hallway

Yuma: Che...That damn Sow. Where is she hidin’ behind my back...?

I gotta suck her blood before it restocks...

...If her blood is what chooses Adam, I just gotta make sure she’s runnin’ dry at all times.

Right, Ruki? ...Hehe, aren’t I a genius...?

Hehe...Hehehe...

ー The scene shifts back to the library

Shuu: Haah...I shouldn’t have come here. I just know I won’t be able to sleep in peace since you’re here, what a pain.

Yui: Sorry...

Shuu: ...The other one isn’t around today, huh? Did you finally get tired of him?

Yui: That’s not it...

Shuu: Well, I don’t really care...So, when can I let go of your hand?

Yui: Ah...Sorry. I think it should be okay noーー

*Thud*

Yui: ...!

Yuma-kun!

Shuu: ...See? It got noisy.

Yuma: ...Doin’...?

Yui: Eh?

ー Yuma suddenly punches Shuu

*THUD*

Yui: Shuu-san!!

Shuu: ...Ow...

Yui: What are you doing, Yuma-kun!? Suddenly punching him like thatーー!

Yuma: Shut up!!

*Rustle*

Yuma: Stand, ya bastard!!

*THUD THUD*

Shuu: Ugh...

Yuma: You’re gonna take away what’s mine again, huh!? Aah!?

*THUD THUD*

Yui: ...Cut it out, Yuma-kun!!

*Rustle*

Yui: I’m begging you...!

Yuma: Don’t touch me!!

*THUD*

Yui: Uu, ah...!

*THUD*

Yuma: Did ya think I wouldn’t hit a chick? Hah. You’re too naive.

Yui: Yu...ma-kun...

Yuma: Just wait there, Sow.

You’ll have my full attention once I’m done disposin’ of this piece of shit...Hehe...

Yui: ( ...Yuma-kun... )

*THUD THUD THUD*

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Yuma’s room

*Creaak*

Yuma: Aah, I’m beat...

...My hands sting...

...

...I’m done.

I’m tired of...punchin’...

...Sleepy...

ー He dozes off

Yuma: Aahn...? Why the fuck is it so hot...?

ー He wakes up to find his room burning

Yuma: Aah...?

...Hah...This dream again, huh? It’s been a while...!

But ya know...Too bad! I already remembered everythin’!

I’m no longer scared of this! Show it to me all ya want!

...After all, I no longer have anyone important left in my life.

ー The scene shifts to the Mukami manor burning from the outside

???: ...Amidst the orange-colored flames, the young boy cries all by himself.

He lost the two things dear to him, so he weeps in solitude.

...This sure brings back memories.

...Fufu...Hahahaha!

ーー This time we shall bid farewell once and for all. ...Edgar. (4)

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) The sentence cuts off here, but I assume the full sentence would be ‘Did that guy really kill my family’?, implying that Reiji lied to Yuma, telling him that Shuu is the one who set the village on fire. 

(2) Ruki refers to the four of them as ‘picked up’ or ‘plucked off the streets’.

(3) 当て馬 or ‘ate-uma’ refers to a stallion which is used to test a mare’s readiness to mate.

(4) The audio is very faint here, but if you listen closely, you can hear Reiji say ‘Edgar’. In the written dialogue, it is replaced by ‘...’. 

[nocturna-iv]

what are your opinons on audrey?

You're going to hate me because I'm going to go too far off.

On D1 I hated Audrey. But I think that was one of the purposes of the movie. The way they introduced her and made her act... I didn't like Audrey. But especially since my first ship in Descendants was Jaylos.

And I'm not going to lie to you. D1 I saw it with a friend the first time. And from the first second, we saw Carlos and Jay it was "They are a couple, right?" A few more scenes "They're a couple.".. and at the end... In the last scene... Audrey appears all beautiful and powerful... and flirts with Jay and dances with him. And, I understand. If Audrey does that to me, I'd make Jay's goofy face too.

Also,  I love "Set it Off". I don't know. I don't talk much about D1. But things were different back then. I liked Mal, I liked Bal. Ben in "Set It Off" looks very sexy. I like the lyrics. I like the movie. And I'm a sucker for reimagining fairy tales.

But... Audrey was "ruining" my Jaylos with that last dance. And the idea of a pretty girl that her revenge is dating her ex's best friend... Not my cup of tea.

Then I watched the movie again with a group of friends. All nerds to analyze stories. And there I realized many things. Like Mal never tells Ben that she actually put a spell on him to use him. And hundreds of other things.

But do you know what I noticed the most? How horrible everything that happened must have been for Audrey. Ben breaks up with her publicly and out of nowhere. Hours before they were the perfect (and incipient, I know) couple who was going to get married and then he sings a song to the daughter of the villain who ruined her mother's life? Poor Audrey!

So all my friends and I came to have a strong empathy with Audrey. Would we have done the same? We didn't know. But Audrey is a Queen Bee and a teenager. All that power, heartbroken, humiliated and in the blink of an eye with an uncertain future. I'm not going to judge her. If she were an adult I would. But she was only a teenager. And all of us, as teenagers, have done something stupid or extreme.

Still a no-no to Audrey flirting with Jay hahaha

D2 arrived. There was no sign of Audrey. And I got distracted by a powerful couple by Uma and Harry. Chad goes from being this idiot who flirts with girls and uses them to be this goofy puppy in love who is the mockery of everyone.

D3... Thousands of ideas. But about Audrey? My poor princess! My Queen of Mean! By this point, we got to know so much about her and... Oh, Gods! What terrible things. All by focusing on Mal, they left hundreds of things in the air, loose or bad.

Are we sure Ben isn't still under a spell? Audrey and he were friends, and I come to find out that there was never a talk between them? Not even when she came back? GODS!

Hundreds of bad things... Hundreds! As I said, let's rewrite D3.

Plus, they made Audrey blonde. And they lightened her skin tone.

Audrey deserves better than being this character that her only motivation is her ex-boyfriend.

Actually, Audrey and Evie have a lot in common. Their families raised them to be with a prince, to define themselves as a beautiful princess on the arm of a prince. Evie has her growth as a character. But Audrey? In D1 she became cruel because she loses her boyfriend. In D3 she became the villain because she has lost everything since she lost her boyfriend and no one has been kind enough to ask her if she's okay! The only character who cares about her, we came to find out, is Chad, who now everyone makes fun of and sees him as a joke.

I like Audrey for the potential she has. Can you imagine how things would have been if they had treated her with some respect? (Chad and her. From a certain point in D1, Ben lost his best friends. His only friends are his girlfriend's friends in all the movies. That's not healthy.)

Already in D1 Audrey had her moment to reevaluate her life, her power, her social status, her future, who she was. Actually, in Descendants: Wicked World she is friends with Ben and Mal, Audrey is still friends with Jane and Lonnie. And Audrey is completely dedicated to holding events, being a leader, organizing things. She is still a princess waiting for a prince to save her, but she isn't looking for a boyfriend and she has already got over Ben. I would have liked them to continue that idea on D2, with Audrey being a good friend and comforting Ben. In that conversation, she would realize that just like Ben is defining himself solely by his future with Mal and by being with Mal, she has only defined herself as a princess and with the idea of ​​marrying an idealized prince. Audrey would have been the first to remind him that he's the king and he's forgetting a lot of things for playing with Mal to pretend to be the perfect bride and groom in front of the press. Things like his initiative for the VKs that stopped since he's gawking at Mal. 

Not only that, but Audrey would also have been there to advise Mal about the press and the pressure of being Ben's girlfriend. Audrey would have talked to Ben about how Mal may enjoy the attention when she jokes around or has a plan, but that doesn't mean she's ready to deal with all the attention.

Audrey would have accompanied Ben to the island for two reasons. Evie says the more the better (Audrey wants to protect Ben, she doesn't know yet, but she's starting to stop acting like the damsel in distress and taking control of the situation). And because Audrey wants to talk to Mal because only Audrey really understands what Mal is going through, getting lost in the illusion of the perfect girlfriend until she doesn't recognize herself in the mirror.

Imagine Sea 3 meeting Audrey. While Evie and Audrey were talking to Mal, Ben was kidnapped. Okay? Well, imagine Audrey interrupting Harry in the middle of one of his threats, raising her finger and in a very regal attitude "I won't let you talk like that, pretty boy". And Uma quite impressed that this is an AK that isn't afraid of pirates. And Gil would have been "She's the second person who has left Harry speechless." And Audrey would have looked at Uma with a small smile "Tell your boyfriend to let me board and you and I can talk. I was Ben's girlfriend and I was preparing for years to be queen. I know how the Council works. I'm not a VK, not a pirate, but I know how Auradon works." "He's not my boyfriend..." "Oh please." Audrey boards Lost Revenge "You obviously have a problem with Mal, and I get it, she tends to ruin people's lives without realizing it. No offense Mal. But what you want is the same thing Ben has always wanted. So let's talk."

SO MANY GOOD THINGS!

D2 may have been about forgiving and leaving the past behind. Let Mal realize that just like she could change, others can. That you should stop resenting others. Because D2 could still have Mal betray Uma, but the message would have been more about "I judged you as everyone judged me. Like I judged myself. And I was wrong. We can change." And Ben would have had learned that love shouldn't distract you from your goals and who you are as a person.

My opinion on Audrey is that she has so much potential!

[hattercatsparadise]

Twisted Chaos (1/3)

Hatter Cat: Beautiful souls were summoned to Night Raven by a mysterious force to bring chaos to the twisted adventures in the lives of students at this school, should we welcome them?

Quoted Souls: Aiyra Ferox, Chiba Harumi,Emily Hellscales, Inara Horologium & Mirella Hellscales

 +

1️⃣,2️⃣,3️⃣

Outro dia rotineiro em Night Raven com o mesmo caos de sempre... Harumi, o aluno sem poderes mágicos trazido de outro mundo, precisando parar alguma discussão entre Deuce e Ace enquanto mantinha Grim sobre controle na tentativa de evitar que a criatura peluda e imã de problemas causasse o caos.

Harumi estava exausto para dizer no mínimo, esteve sendo pressionado pela negligência de Crowley que todo o problema que ocorre na escola o diretor de alguma forma empurra as responsabilidades dele sobre Harumi que ainda precisa se preocupar com sua vida escolar além de seu trabalho como supervisor.

Isso sem o trabalho de meio período no Mostro Lounge já que o diretor é mesquinho e não dava quase nenhuma ajuda financeira, Harumi já estava farto de esperar ajuda do diretor negligente e algumas vezes a situação do dormitório estava insalubre para continuar assim e se não bastasse não estar dormindo bem nos últimos dias por causa de todo esses estresse e dos estranhos sonhos que teve a quase três semanas.

Eles estavam terminando mais um dia de aula e estavam passando pelo corredor do Espelho das Trevas quando Harumi sentiu algo, como alguém chamando.

“Ei, Harumi... O que foi?” – Deuce perguntou chamando atenção do amigo de cabelos morenos.

“...” – Harumi não respondeu, parecia em transe enquanto olhava para o espelho.

“Ei, terra para Harumi!” – Ace tenta chamar a atenção do amigo.

“Ah, desculpem...” – Harumi respondeu enquanto voltava a si – “O que estávamos falando mesmo?” – ele perguntou tentando retornar ao assunto.

“Você anda muito distraído, você sabe.” – Grim comentou – “São aqueles sonhos esquisitos de novo?”

“Sonhos?” – Deuce questionou preocupado.

“Por acaso você sonhou com um monstro embaixo da sua cama?” – Ace sendo um idiota começou a provocar.

“Há, há, há... Muito engraçado.” – Harumi disse sarcasticamente sobre a atitude infantil do amigo – “Não é nada demais, são só alguns sonhos estranhos que tenho tido. Mas não sei por que isso me dá a sensação que é um presságio...” – ele suspirou cansado.

“Presságio?” – Deuce arqueou uma sobrancelha.

“No meu mundo há a crença que os sonhos tem significado e podem ser presságios de algo que pode acontecer no futuro...” – Harumi comentou pensando sobre o que viu nos sonhos.

“Sério? Dessa eu não sabia!” – Ace disse curioso – “O que foi que você sonhou?” – ele estava bastante curioso.

“Eu sonhei com várias coisas... Primeiro foram dois dragões, depois um leopardo e depois um crocodilo. Eu não sei porque, mas tive a sensação que eles são reais... Como por causa do sonho eu estivesse conhecendo cada um.” – Harumi comentou se lembrando da sensação que teve nesse sonho.

“Isso é bastante estranho, você sabe.” – Grim comentou.

“Depois de tudo que já vi aqui eu acho até normal.” – Harumi comentando todas as aventuras loucas que já viveu.

“Verdade.” – A dupla A-Deuce concordaram.

Repentinamente o espelho das trevas revelou o reflexo de chamas verdes e um vendaval surgiu, abrindo violentamente as janelas e os ventos forçando os alunos a cobrirem o rosto para se protegerem do vento forte ou procurar um abrigo próximo. Do lado de fora uma tempestade assolava toda a escola enquanto os alunos gritam procurando um local seguro.

O quarteto conseguiu abrigo atrás de pilares e um estrondo junto de um clarão de luz que inundou o salão, todos fechando e cobrindo os olhos para se proteger da repentina claridade e quando a luz se esvai tudo havia se aclamado: Sem vendaval, tempestade, nada.

Ou quase se não fosse o fato do dia parecer ter cedido prematuramente seu tempo para uma noite escura e quatro caixões que normalmente flutuava pelo salão estão jogados rodeando a fonte sob o Espelho das trevas que agora mostrava a imagem de vultos que Harumi conhecia bem: Os seres que surgiam em seu sonhos nas últimas semanas.

Harumi sentiu como tudo ao seu redor desaparecesse exceto o espelho e os caixões, parecendo que estava dentro de seus sonhos e estava ouvindo o chamado do espelho para receber aqueles seres.

“Estão aqui...” – Harumi murmurou tendo a sensação de seu corpo agir independentemente de sua vontade.

Ele mal podia escutar seus amigos tentando chamar sua atenção enquanto o rapaz estende a mão na direção a imagem refletida no espelho para acolher aqueles seres que se aproximavam dele.

Formas de sombras que remetiam quatro mãos diferentes surgiram do espelho para retribuir o acolhimento do rapaz que começa a sentir sua consciência se esvair.

O quão caótico seria o que estaria por vir, como o presságio do sonho parecendo ganhar vida e se tornar realidade.

Another routine day in Night Raven with the same chaos as always ... Harumi, the student without magical powers brought from another world, needing to stop some discussion between Deuce and Ace while keeping Grim under control in an attempt to prevent the furry creature and magnet of problems caused chaos. Harumi was exhausted to say the least, he was being pressured by Crowley's negligence that the whole problem that occurs at school the principal somehow pushes his responsibilities over Harumi who still needs to worry about his school life in addition to his work as a supervisor.

This without part-time work at Mostro Lounge since the director is stingy and gave almost no financial aid, Harumi was already tired of waiting for help from the negligent headmaster and sometimes the situation in the dorm was unhealthy to continue like this and if it were not enough not sleeping well in the past few days because of all the stress and the strange dreams he had for almost three weeks.

They were finishing up another day of school and were passing through the hall of the Mirror of Darkness when Harumi felt something, like someone calling.

"Hey, Harumi ... What is it?" - Deuce asked drawing the attention of the friend with dark hair.

"..." - Harumi didn't answer, she seemed in a trance while looking at the mirror.

"Hey, Earth to Harumi!" - Ace tries to get his friend's attention.

"Ah, sorry ..." - Harumi replied as he came to himself - "What were we talking about?" - He asked trying to return to the subject.

"Ya are very distracted, ya know." - Grim commented - "Are those weird dreams again?"

"Dreams?" Deuce asked worriedly.

"Did you happen to dream of a monster under your bed?" - Ace being an idiot started to provoke.

"Ha, ha, ha very funny." - Harumi said sarcastically about the friend's childish attitude -

“It's not a big deal, it's just some strange dreams I've been having. But I don't know why it gives me the feeling that it is an omen ... ”- he sighed tiredly.

"Omen?" Deuce raised an eyebrow.

"In my world there is a belief that dreams have meaning and may be omens of something that may happen in the future ..." - Harumi commented thinking about what he saw in dreams.

"Seriously? I didn't know about that! ” - Ace said curiously - "What did you dream about?" - he was quite curious.

“I dreamed of several things ... First there were two dragons, then a leopard and then a crocodile. I don't know why, but I got the feeling that they are real ... Like because of the dream I was getting to know each one. ” - Harumi commented remembering the feeling she had in that dream.

"This is quite strange." - Grim commented.

"After everything I've seen here, I think it's normal." - Harumi commenting on all the crazy adventures he has ever lived.

"Truth." - The A-Deuce combo agreed.

Suddenly the mirror of darkness revealed the reflection of green flames and a gale appeared, violently opening the windows and winds, forcing students to cover their faces to protect themselves from the strong wind or seek shelter nearby. Outside, a storm raged through the school as students shouted for safety.

The quartet found shelter behind pillars and a crash next to a flash of light that flooded the hall, all closing and covering their eyes to protect themselves from the sudden clarity and when the light faded everything was acclaimed: No storm, storm, nothing .

Or almost if it weren't for the fact that the day seemed to have prematurely given up its time for a dark night and four coffins that normally floated around the room are lying around the fountain under the Mirror of Darkness that now showed the image of figures that Harumi knew well: beings that have appeared in your dreams in the last few weeks.

Harumi felt like everything around her disappeared except the mirror and the coffins, looking like she was inside her dreams and was hearing the mirror's call to receive those beings.

"They're here ..." - Harumi murmured having the sensation of her body acting independently of her will.

He could barely hear his friends trying to get his attention while the boy held out his hand towards the image reflected in the mirror to welcome those beings who approached him.

Shapes of shadows referring to four different hands emerged from the mirror to return the welcome of the boy who begins to feel his conscience fade.

How chaotic would be what was to come, like the omen of the dream seeming to come to life and come true.

Otro día de rutina en Night Raven con el mismo caos de siempre ... Harumi, la estudiante sin poderes mágicos traída de otro mundo, necesita detener una discusión entre Deuce y Ace mientras mantiene a Grim bajo control en un intento de prevenir la criatura peluda y el imán. de los problemas causaron el caos. Harumi estaba agotado por decir lo menos, estaba siendo presionado por la negligencia de Crowley de que todo el problema que ocurre en la escuela, el director de alguna manera empuja sus responsabilidades sobre Harumi, quien todavía necesita preocuparse por su vida escolar además de su trabajo como supervisor. Esto sin trabajo a tiempo parcial en Mostro Lounge ya que el director es tacaño y casi no brinda ayuda económica, Harumi ya estaba cansado de esperar ayuda del director negligente y en ocasiones la situación en el dormitorio no era saludable para seguir así y si no fuera suficiente. no durmió bien en los últimos días debido a todo el estrés y los extraños sueños que tuvo durante casi tres semanas. Estaban terminando otro día de escuela y estaban pasando por el pasillo del Espejo de la Oscuridad cuando Harumi sintió algo, como si alguien llamara. "Oye, Harumi ... ¿Qué es?" - preguntó Deuce llamando la atención del amigo de cabello oscuro. "..." - Harumi no respondió, parecía en trance mientras se miraba al espejo. "¡Oye, tierra para Harumi!" - Ace intenta llamar la atención de su amigo. "Ah, lo siento ..." - respondió Harumi mientras se recuperaba - "¿De qué estábamos hablando?" - preguntó tratando de volver al tema. "Estás muy distraído, ¿sabes?" - comentó Grim - "¿Son esos sueños raros de nuevo?" "¿Sueños?" Deuce preguntó preocupado. "¿Soñaste con un monstruo debajo de tu cama?" - Ace siendo un idiota empezó a provocar. "Jajaja muy divertido." - dijo Harumi sarcásticamente sobre la actitud infantil de la amiga - “No es gran cosa, son solo unos sueños extraños que he estado teniendo. Pero no sé por qué me da la sensación de que es un presagio ... ”- suspiró cansado. "¿Presagio?" Deuce arqueó una ceja. “En mi mundo existe la creencia de que los sueños tienen significado y pueden ser presagios de algo que puede suceder en el futuro ...” - comentó Harumi pensando en lo que veía en sueños. "¿Seriamente? ¡No sabía nada de eso! " - dijo Ace con curiosidad - "¿Con qué soñaste?" - tenía bastante curiosidad. “Soñé con varias cosas ... Primero había dos dragones, luego un leopardo y luego un cocodrilo. No sé por qué, pero tengo la sensación de que son reales ... Como por el sueño que estaba conociendo a cada uno ". - Comentó Harumi recordando la sensación que tuvo en ese sueño. "Esto es bastante extraño, ¿sabes?" - comentó Grim. "Después de todo lo que he visto aquí, creo que es normal". - Harumi comentando todas las locas aventuras que ha vivido. "Verdad." - La pareja A-Deuce estuvo de acuerdo. De repente, el espejo de la oscuridad reveló el reflejo de las llamas verdes y apareció un vendaval que abrió violentamente las ventanas y los vientos, obligando a los estudiantes a cubrirse la cara para protegerse del fuerte viento o buscar refugio cerca. Afuera, una tormenta arrasó la escuela mientras los estudiantes gritaban por seguridad. El cuarteto encontró refugio detrás de pilares y un estruendo junto a un destello de luz que inundó el salón, todos cerrándose y tapándose los ojos para protegerse de la repentina claridad y cuando la luz se desvaneció todo fue aclamado: Sin tormenta, tormenta, nada. . O casi si no fuera por el hecho de que el día parecía haber abandonado prematuramente su tiempo por una noche oscura y cuatro ataúdes que normalmente flotaban alrededor de la habitación están tirados alrededor de la fuente bajo el Espejo de la Oscuridad que ahora mostraba la imagen de figuras que Harumi conocía bien: seres que han aparecido en tus sueños en las últimas semanas. Harumi sintió que todo a su alrededor desapareció excepto el espejo y los ataúdes, luciendo como si estuviera dentro de sus sueños y escuchara la llamada del espejo para recibir a esos seres. "Están aquí ..." - Murmuró Harumi teniendo la sensación de que su cuerpo actuaba independientemente de su voluntad. Apenas podía escuchar a sus amigos tratando de llamar su atención mientras el niño extendía su mano hacia la imagen reflejada en el espejo para dar la bienvenida a aquellos seres que se le acercaban. Del espejo emergen formas de sombras que hacen referencia a cuatro manos distintas para devolver la bienvenida al niño que comienza a sentir que su conciencia se desvanece. Qué caótico sería lo que estaba por venir, como el presagio del sueño que parecía cobrar vida y hacerse realidad.

[nukyster-blog]

Changing Course chapter 7) Women’s Business

.-.-.

A new day came while an old task remained. Ivar awoke by the sound of an unblemished wooden bowl dropping near his feet. As he pulled himself into a sitting position, two dead chickens dropped next to the bowl. 

“Yalla,” Piglet hurried him, wavering at the two dead birds. But in her order lay a clear plea; for reasons unknown, she did not want to see him hurt or die by the hands of the Giant. 

Ivar could refuse, but the dark bruises on his bicep reminded him of how much he had to lose. 

  So, instead of fighting, Ivar picked up the first chicken and started tearing off it’s feathers. His mind was blank and he had to blink his eyes as he watched his calloused hands pluck the feathers. It was as if he watched the hands of someone else, because surly his hands weren’t meant to be doing such idiotic tasks. This was women’s business, preparing food. 

At least someone was pleased to see Ivar’s stubbornness deteriorate. Piglet’s humming filled up the shed while she swept the floor and fed the animals inside. 

The sunbeams came trickling in through the cracks of wood when their door got unlocked by the Giant. 

Seeing Ivar’s worn down demeanor and first plucked chicken brought out a gleam of indulgence in the Giant’s grey eyes. He dropped a sack of onions near Ivar’s feet and barked a few orders to Piglet, who’d retreated to the farthest space in the shed the moment she sensed the intruder. 

The Giant left the pair of them alone again. Ivar stared at the deadweight of onions, uncertain what to do with it. 

Piglet noticed his wonder and motioned him to throw her one of the onions, still determined to keep herself out of Ivar’s reach. 

Ivar did and watched the slave girl peel off the first two layers and then put the onion aside. Ivar sensed the vegetables were meant for pickling, a common way to preserve food during hard times. 

Once both chickens were ridden of their feathers, Ivar started his other degrading task. One that brought tears to his eyes and made his nose run. Piglet noticed his struggles while trotting along his box each time with a different tool or task. 

She granted him a bucket of frigid water and motioned him to watch how she dunked her onion into the water, then pointed at her eyes. When receiving a dull glance from Ivar, she clucked her tongue and with her finger drew a line from her eye to her chin. 

Was she mocking him? 

Ivar’s short fuse and pride, made Piglet hurry out of the shed, dodging unpeeled onions. 

But after a while of tearing up and sniffling like a wailing baby, Ivar found it wise to put Piglet’s gimmick up for the test. And indeed, the burning of his eyes lessened if he dunked the onions into the water before peeling the first layer off. 

The rest of the day, Ivar prince of Kattegat sulked and slaved his way through the entire sack. He’d half expected Piglet to check on him, and more importantly,  provide him some sort of meal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, by now he’d missed out on all. 

For a moment, Ivar’s blue eyes fixated on the plucked chickens, but reminiscing on the night before, made the fear of disobedience larger than the growling inside his stomach. 

His blue’s then focussed on the preposterously large mountain of peeled unions. Surely the Giant must not have counted them? 

Ivar took one onion and closed his eyes, focusing on any sounds that might indicate that of the Giant's return. He listened intensely, but aside the buzzing life of cattle and chickens, he could not filter out any approaching footsteps. 

Hastily, Ivar’s front teeth ripped off the first layer and started chewing. The sticky yellowish mass stung his eyes, burning his tongue. It’s scent rose into each nostril and he had to hold his stomach not to heave. Ivar had always savored onion soup, but for now it was causing nothing but agony on his tasting buds. 

He still managed to trial himself through three hole onions before surrendering to the vile stingy taste. Trying to lessen the burning sensation he brought the bucket of water up to his throat and drank greedily. 

“Urgh,” he shuddered and scrunched up his face, it had been a terrible idea, but it nurtured the worst bit of his plaguing hunger. 

“Hamar?” Piglet blurted, she blinked and made a small smile as she witnessed him spit out the best of a mouthful of onion water. 

Although Ivar was faithfully throwing daggers at her with his eyes, she presented him a bowl of groats porridge and a handful of forest strawberries. The gnawing hunger made him hastily hunch forward and slouch across his box as far as his shackles allowed him too. Although it was evident that he was not mobile enough to touch Piglet, the young woman stiffened and winced back while Ivar extracted his hand to snatch all food items from the floor and drag them back to his side. 

Growling at her, Ivar did not bother to chew the food and used both hands to spoon the porridge into his mouth. It was lukewarm, the texture full of chunks and the taste was stale, but it was the best porridge Ivar had eaten in his life. Of course expressing his delight was out of the question and once he was done he twirled the wooden bowl across the floor near Piglet’s feet. She picked it up without a sound and left him alone again. 

The sun casted its golden rays through the crack between the wood panels on the opposite side of the morning; soon the night sky would settle. 

Ivar had neatly filled up the sack with the peeled onions and dragged it as close to Piglet’s makeshift line as he could; if he could prevent the Giant coming near him then the small struggle was nothing. 

But the Giant did not bother to retrieve Ivar’s work, instead Piglet came in, noticed the sack and stored it aside without uttering a word. She must resent him by now, good, because he’d been insufferable to her.  

Someone from the outside locked the door and left them in the duskiness of the shed. Piglet moved around for a bit, but wasn’t foolish enough to go near him. Eventually, Ivar dwelled into sleep while the girl chanted her prayers. 

.-.-.

A/N: this was a short chapter, sort of an interlude for the next part. Some might feel that the pace of this story is slow, maybe too slow for the liking. But I really enjoy drabbling out day-to-day life and adding historic detail (like the groats meal, I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time googling ‘Dutch breakfast during the viking era’). 

If this pace is not your cookie, then I hope you stay on this ride, because there will be more gore/death for the angst-lovers. Oh and of course more beating-up-Ivar-for-being-a-little-shit, for the hurt/comfort fans. 

Xoxoxo Nukyster 

The tagged:  @xbellaxcarolinax @youbloodymadgenius @saldelys @shannygoatgruff @apenas-mais-uma-pessoa @readsalot73 https://lauraaan182.tumblr.com/ @lauraaan182 @pieces-by-me

[islefairest]

                                                          @heiresea​​​​ /  sc.

𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃 .   she couldn’t possibly expect uma to forgive her  ,  given the circumstances  .  but a part of her had hoped that  ,  at the very least  ,  uma would understand why she’d done it  .  neither of them had been spared in evie’s decision to leave  (  𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎’𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎  ,  𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚎 𝚒𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎  )  . . .   both were dealt their share of grief  .  

                                𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞  ,  𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲  ,  𝐭𝐨𝐨  . 

harry’s message had gotten under her skin more than the others’  ;    to them  ,  it was just that they needed to save ben  .  to evie  ?  it meant seeing uma for the first time since she’d left for auradon  .  the princess didn’t dare consider the contempt the sea witch’s daughter’s gaze would hold when uma saw her there  –––  but the devastation she does see feels so much more condemning  . 

evie falters  ,  blade lowering slightly as her gaze meet’s uma’s  .  she’d tried to convince herself that perhaps there was a chance uma would be happy for her for so long that she’d started to believe it  ;  one look alone was enough to shatter that facade  .  mal speaks  ,  but evie can’t hear a word she says  .  evie steps forward  ,  shoulder to shoulder with mal  (  𝚊 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚞𝚖𝚊 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛  )  ,  lest she need to stand between them and trust uma doesn’t cut her down right then and there  .  

uma’s name rests upon evie’s lips but she doesn’t dare breathe sound into those syllables  .  she doubts it would be heard amidst the chaos that erupts shortly after the decoy wand is traded for ben’s freedom  ,  anyway  .  the movements are fluid  ,  albeit slightly out of practice from when uma had first taught her to hold a sword  ,  as evie distractedly defends herself  .  to get between mal and uma in their feud would be idiotic at best  ,  but evie’s body moves on instinct to try to put herself between them nonetheless  ,  if only to say the two words she should’ve said before she’d ever left  ----     i’m sorry  .  

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. Kronk’s Tavern. Facillier’s just sat down at the bar next to Hades (Eva Green) who’s nursing a large flagon of beer)

Facillier: so you’ve heard

Hades: heard? Of course I’ve fucking heard. Your daughter and my son are dead

Facillier: legally. Legally dead there may still yet be hope

Hades: he has no magic. And she’s not powerful enough to keep the both of them alive. So either they’re both dead or there’s going to be a rampaging homicidal heartbroken teenager laying waste to the island any day now

Facillier: you don’t know that.

Kronk (genuinely trying to help): well anything’s possible isn’t it? Both could be dead or one had to eat the other. Phytoplankton only goes so far you know

Facillier: Kronk! There’s a call for you downstairs.

Kronk (not getting the sarcasm): OH BOY

(He launches headfirst into the floor knocking himself out cold)

Facillier: tch. Sideskicks. Now that’s been taken care of. How are you doing?

Hades: my second son is presumed dead. So is your first daughter. What do you think?

Facillier: not very good

Hades: nope!

(She takes another massive swig of beer)

Facillier: where’s Hadie right now?

Hades: with Antony at the butchers. Why?

Facillier: let’s get out of here. You can come back to mine. And we can

Hades: oh ho ho. The offers greatly appreciated. You don’t know how much. But I have a wife

Facillier: I know. She dumped you the morning after the wedding night the moment she realised she was pregnant with Mal.

Hades: oh, no. No. I mean my first wife. Persephone. After all this trouble I think it’s time I put our arrangement aside and focus on her and my five, sorry, four, four children.

Facillier: be that as it may. You’re in no state to be alone tonight. At least let me escort you back to your lair

Hades: nope. Nope. Too risky. I don’t trust myself

(This is when “honey I’m good” happens. After the song she collapses into Facillier’s arms completely drunk)

Facillier: yeah....I’m taking you back to my place. You can’t be alone tonight

Hades (mumbling): ifyoumustyoumust

Facillier: heh?

(Hades mumbles again. This time even more unintelligibly. Then pushes herself away from him)

Hades: fine then. Walk me home.

Facillier: start going. I’ll catch up.

Hades: oooh no no no. You’re walking me back to your place.

Facillier: someone has to pay for the booze

Hades (incredulously): it’s KRONK!

Facillier:....fair point

(They leave the tavern and make their way back to the arcade. This is when “walk me home” happens. After the song they walk through the door of Facillier’s arcade, Hades (having switched to his Sebastian Stan form) being half carried-half dragged inside by Facillier)

Anastasia: so he’s heard?

Facillier: and then some. And kronk was absolutely no help whatsoever

Anastasia: Well you know what we sidekicks are like

Facillier: yes I do. I was one.

Anastasia: oh yeah....I forgot about that

Facillier: everyone does. Help me get him to the sofa

Hades (grumpily pushing himself off from Facillier): no-ohhhh!!!! Imma go drinkie-poo some more

Anastasia: drinkie-poo?

Facillier: cut him some slack alright? He’s grieving his son. I doubt you’d be coping well if Anthony were dead

Anastasia: first off. No one should ever mourn a pirate. Secondly. Assumed dead is very different than ACTUALLY dead. Thirdly. Uma’s in the same situation and you’re not falling apart.

Facillier: I can’t afford to.

Hades (over at the bar): STOP TALKING!!!! I’M WALLOWING HERE!!!!

Anastasia: yeah, we know. And you need to stop

Hades: why the he>hic<ell should I?

Anastasia: because it’s not healthy?

Hades (hair bursting into flames): I AM A GOD!!!!

Facillier: yeah, yeah, we heard you the first 98 million times. Now! We need to sober you up

Hades: wahverfor?

Anastasia: it’s unseemly for a being of your calibre to behave in this manner

Hades: oh fuck off Human!

(Facillier pulls Anastasia off to the side)

Facillier: I think it’s time to try a different approach

Anastasia: ya think?

Facillier: the question is; what do we do?

Anastasia: if we can make this slag heap partially liveable we can kick a deity out of his funk.

Facillier: yeah but how?

Anastasia: to music of course.

Facillier: now why didn’t I think of that?

Anastasia (cupping his face in her hands and looking fondly at him): because you can be a right old idiot sometimes

Facillier: thank you Ana, thank you for the help

Anastasia: it’s what I’m here for Antoine. HADES!!!! What happened to you. We made this island what it is. We built everything from the arcade to the docks. Admittedly it only took 12 hours but we did it. So why are you so down in the dumps?

Hades: I grew up. I have four-three-one. I have 1 child on this island and now he’s all grown up. I’m superfluous.

Anastasia: but people used to run at the mere mention of your name. What happened?

Hades: I’m dead inside

Anastasia: then reignite. Antoine!

(Facillier turns the stereo on. This is when “we built this city” happens. After the song they collapse on the sofa)

Anastasia: feel a bit better?

Hades (chuckling slightly): a bit

Anastasia: gonna stop the hard drinking?

Hades: yup

Anastasia: alright then. In that case. I’m gonna go back to my place. The meat ain’t gonna cut itself you know

Facillier: you could just ask us to help you with magic

Anastasia: nah, I like doing it myself. Keeps me busy. See ya tomorrow

Facillier and Hades: see ya

Hades (immediately after the door closes): I lied

(He launches himself at the bar intent on getting more beer)

Facillier: oh no you don’t!

(He clicks his fingers and Hades ends up suspended in mid air. This is when “I do not hook up” happens. After the song the focus momentarily shifts back to Uma and Celia witnessing the flashbacks)

Uma: wow. They were cut up

Celia: yeah....

Uma (breaking into laughter): THIS IS AMAZING!!!!

Celia: what

Uma: don’t you see? This means someone actually cares about me. I always thought-

(Suddenly they get pulled out of the arcade and into another building filled with exercise equipment, a boxing ring and musical devices)

Celia: where are we

Uma: Morgana’s Speakeasy

Celia: there’s a speakeasy on the island?

Uma: sort of. She told me it’s fun to say. And more inviting then mere bare knuckle boxing. Why would the incense bring us here though?

Celia: of course. Look.

(Uma turns to see the action behind her. Morgana looks shellshocked as Anastasia fetches her a drink)

Morgana: she’s gone. Dead. Dead and gone

Anastasia: assumed dear and gone. There’s still a chance she’s alive

Morgana: if he tries to worm his way back here he’s in for a nasty dose of reality. I can tell you that nothing

Anastasia: Morgan, you’ve got to stop doing this. Not everything has to be traced back your psycho sister and Antoine.

Morgana: tell that to them then.

Anastasia: that’s....a lot of T’s in one sentence. You know what you need? Visualisation Therapy.

Morgana: and that would be?

Anastasia: I don’t know. I read it in a book. And I’m spouting it to what I made Hades do just now. I see no reason why it can’t work on you as well.

Morgana: what do we do?

Anastasia: you’ve got second hand karaoke right?

Morgana: at the bar

Anastasia: perfect. (She walks over to the bar). Now let’s see. Hmmmm. Ooh! Perfect.

(She switches on the machine. After a few stutters and a tiny, easily squashed fire the music starts)

Morgana: oh Christ not this one. It doesn’t even make sense

Anastasia: who cares? Just sing it!

Morgana: ugh. Fine

(This is when “big girls don’t cry” starts. After the song the Speakeasy melts away and the two sisters get pulled upwards)

Uma: what was that?

Doug: ten minutes are up. Come on

(He leads them back into the kitchen where Carlos is glowing with white light and viciously beating Harry up as everyone but Hades, Elsa, Hadie and the Hook sisters cheer him on)

Uma: what the hell’s going on?

Doug: Harry ran his mouth. Carlos got so pissed off he unlocked his latent demon magic. And is now currently in the process of beating the shit out of Harry

Uma: and the king allowed this?

Doug: he’s Carlos’s father. Of course he did.

Uma: DE VIL. STOP THIS RIGHT NOW

Carlos (with the “I’m far too cute for you to get mad at me” look on his face): Sono sempre così terribilmente dispiaciuto capitano. ma non ho la più pallida idea di cosa stai insinuando

Uma: what?

Carlos: means “no”. I can speak Italian now

Jay: I like Italian Carlos

Uma: aren’t you English or something

Carlos: my biological fathers the coachman from pleasure island. Who else do you think would willingly reproduce with Cruella De Vil?

Uma:....good point. But you’re what? 16? How have you only just unlocked your magic?

Carlos: never been quite so pissed off before. Thank you Hook

(Harry wheezes and coughs up blood in response)

Doug: anyway....hades, Mal. I believe you two were going to tell them something.

Hades: yes! Right. Sorry. Uh. Where to start?

Doug: want me to help?

Mal: please?

Doug: fine. When I was under the sleeping curse Maleficent appeared to me and tried to get me to betray you all and join her. I stabbed her with a material dark fae are allergic to and she teleported away. But before they she said something that got me thinking. Some crap about being naive and on your own. But I wanted to know more. So I asked Hades. And then told him to tell Mal cause you know it’s her family history even if she doesn’t see herself as Maleficent’s daughter anymore. Now your turn. Your eminence

Hades: Maleficent isn’t french. She’s Persian. In the year three hundred she decided she wanted rule her kind. Only. They weren’t hierarchical. So she got mad. And killed them. Every last man, woman and child. Until she was the last one left. Then made her way to france. She made a name for herself. Became the Mistress Of All Evil. In 1300 Aurora was born. And, well, you know the rest.

Uma (incredulous): what?

Mal: and the really funny thing is. I don’t know how to speak Persian. But apparently. I can understand it. Take it away dad

Hades: امروز برای صبحانه چی خوردی؟

Mal: bakers dozen egg yolk omelette deep fried in chunky chocolate peanut butter. SEE!?!?

Uma: I-I-I I can’t

Evie: neither can I Uma. But let’s face my sister is inordinately and insanely unfairly lucky

Carlos: are you seriously still on this?

Evie: I just don’t think it’s fair that Mal is willing to forgive him after what he did and yet I’m not allowed to be rightfully mad he abandoned me for sixteen years

Mal: we’ve been over this E. You know why he did what he did

(The two sisters continue to argue as Carlos approaches Jay)

Carlos: I think it’s time for that spell again

Jay: good. Because I really like what happens when we use it. By your leave C

Carlos: thank you. To get rid of these ants in their pants/I command thee all to get up and dance.

(This is when “we are” happens. After the song. Evie now looks more annoyed than ever)

Evie: stop doing that!

Carlos: why? I think it’s hilarious.

Ben: yeah it is actually kinda growing on me

Evie: well I don’t like it. So stop doing it. Ok?

Carlos: when did you become such a drag?

Evie: hmmmmm let’s see. Probably right around the time I found out I’m related to two of the people I hate most in this world.

Carlos: hmmmmm. Nah. You were a drag before today

Mal (sensing danger): ok that’s it!

(She clicks her fingers and the whole house melts away along with everyone else leaving her and Evie in a beige coloured void)

Evie: what did you do that for?

Mal: because you snapped at Carlos.

Evie: of course. Of course you defend the precious prince(.)

Mal: what is your problem? Huh? I’m mean you weren’t exactly sugary sweet before. But today you’ve been downright freaky. Ever since I connected the dots you’ve been indulging in this pity party act that just isn’t like you. And sometimes you’re fine. And then you go ballistic for no good reason-oh my god. Is it your uh....?

Evie: what? No. That’s next week.

Mal: ohhhh. Then what is it? Cause frankly. You’re being a nightmare. And you really need to-

Evie: I don’t know ok! And even if I did know. I wouldn’t tell you. Cause there’s no way in His realm you would ever understand

Mal: and just what is that supposed to mean?

Evie: I don’t ugh I just. (Irritable sigh). It’s just that.

Mal: tell me

Evie: no

Mal: why not? Maybe I could help

Evie: you couldn’t. I doubt even Doug or Dizzy could help.

Mal: why?!

Evie: BECAUSE IT’S NOT HAPPENING TO YOU!

Mal: what!

Evie: you just don’t get it. Everything was fine. I escaped my mother. I have Doug. I have Dizzy. I gave our house. And then this happens. And you are oh so smug about it.

Mal: I’m afraid I’m not following.

Evie: of course you’re not. Allow me put this in terms you might understand

(This is when “better than I” happens. After the song. Evie snaps her fingers and takes them back to the kitchen)

Evie: so do you?

Mal: do I what?

Evie: know better than I do? Know why it’s so difficult for me to accept this?

Mal: no

Evie: then keep out of it then

(She stalks out of the kitchen)

Uma: whoo. I do believe you’ve touched a nerve

Carlos: shut up Uma

Uma: or what?

Carlos: or I’ll make you

Uma: you wouldn’t dare

Carlos: I almost killed you back in the mirror. And that was without magic. Imagine what I can do now that I have it

Uma: you don’t scare me De Vil

Carlos: of course not. Because you don’t want to face the fact that the “weak little human bitch” that you loved siccing Harry on. Can now REPEATEDLY hand you your multi legged ass on a platinum platter

Uma: you wouldn’t dare.

Carlos: oooh let’s see now

(He summons Uma’s nautilus necklace to his hand and freezes her in place)

Carlos: how’d she do this again? Oh yeah

(The nautilus begins glowing white hot and he starts singing)

Carlos: 🎶If you want to cross the bridge, you bitch/You've got the pay the toll/Take a gulp and take a breath/And please try not to be a troll/mom and dad you know I've got her, guys/The prince is on a roll/This poor unfortunate soul🎶 What was next? Oh right. 🎶Beluga sevruga. Come winds of the Caspian Sea/Larengix glaucitis/Et max laryngitis/La voce to me🎶 Now, sing!

Carlos (with an insanely sadistic smile on his face): Keep singing!

(White smoke pours out of the nautilus, forms into hands and makes their way to Uma’s throat. Which is itself glowing. Just like Ariel’s did all those years ago.)

Uma (utterly pants shittingly terrified): Aah...

(The smokey hands had just about reached into Uma’s mouth when Doug snatches the nautilus out of Carlos’s hand and throws it back to Uma who falls to her knees and starts sobbing brokenly)

Carlos: hey dude, not cool.

Doug: now is really not the time C. Alright?

Carlos: urgh. Fine

(Doug follows Evie upstairs. Carlos looks around in mild surprise)

Carlos: hey. Where’d my folks go?

(Out in the backyard Ben and Mal are surveying the completely totalled gazebo)

Mal: so whadya say? Can it be salvaged?

Ben: possibly sold to a salvagers. OOOH! I know! If we clean the wood up and fix any missing chunks I can take it to the island and give it out as free firewood. Wait. Does winter exist on the isle?

Mal: there’s no snow. But it’ll get very cold very fast at the end of August.

Ben: that should be enough time to clean and multiply the wreckage.

Mal: sounds like a plan.

Ben: whatcha thinking of?

Mal: sisters getting on my nerves

Ben: again

Mal: well at least I’m trying. Which is a damn sight more than she’s doing.

Ben: perhaps she doesn’t want you to try? Like how you never let us go to therapy with you?

Mal (realising what he means): oh. Never thought about it like that before

Ben: eh that’s alright. There’s a lot that’s been going on today. S’understandable. And besides. Even if you don’t patch it up today. You’ve got until the sun expands to talk it over. And then some. But just remember you’ve got me as well.

(He waggles his eyebrows and smiles that “who said I can’t be an incorrigible little shit just because I’m the king” smile that always makes Mal laugh)

Mal (through her laughter): oh how positively awful

(This is when “1000 years” happens. After the song. Bal hug each other. Then Mal sees something in the kitchen)

Mal: I’m so sorry. You give very, very good advice. But I’m afraid I have to go and make a scene.

(She heads back inside)

Ben (chuckling to himself): I wouldn’t have it any other way

(In the kitchen. Evie’s behind the counter. She’s put her hair up in a messy bun, taken all her makeup off and is forest green pyjamas monogrammed with the initials “D.N.S.G”)

Mal: what’re you doing? This isn’t like you. Getting ready for bed when you have guest. What’re you playing at?

Evie: I’m tired, Mal. It’s been a long. I’ve been put through hell. So excuse me but im going to bed

Mal: at 9:40 in the evening?

Evie: you all know where your rooms are. Celia can bunk with Dizzy. Hades, Hadie and Elsa can camp out in the living room. The pirates can fuck off outsude for all I care. I’m. Going. To bed

Gil: this really does seem unlike you E. Party isn’t over yet. And, plus, we’ve still got to come up plan to stop Chad, Maleficent and Adam.

Evie: but we can’t do that right now. You know that right? If we make up a plan right now and go in guns blazing we’re toast. You understand that right? I mean what the hell are we compared to them? Huh? (Pointing to Mal). A dragon in therapy.(Pointing to Ben). The one scaly to rule them all. (Pointing to Carlos). A teenager who’s four steps away from being a marvel villain. (Pointing to Jay). Civilised Tarzan. (Pointing to Uma). Kleines Fräulein tunnel vision. (Pointing to Harry then Hadie). My brothers slut one and slut two. (Pointing to Harriet). Scottish Bellatrix. (Pointing to Hades). My abandoner of a father. (Pointing to Elsa). An ice queen with social anxiety. (Pointing to CJ). A Liddellite. (Pointing to Celia). Lyra fucking Silvertongue. (Pointing to Lonnie). The general. (Pointing to Jane). A powder keg full of marshmallows. (Pointing to Gil). Blonde Hercules. (She gets kinder now as she points to Dizzy). My beyond intelligent daughter. (Pointing upstairs which is where Doug still is). My talented amazing brilliant extremely handy boyfriend. (Pointing to herself). And me. The only one in this place with any brains. So you see Gilly. We can’t beat them like this. So I’m going to bed. And we can reconvene in the morning. Good night and leave me alone

(She turns to leave but Carlos stops her)

Evie (whining): whahahat? What now?

Carlos: rooms?

Evie: what? Oh yeah. Let’s see now. Most of you know where your rooms are anyway. Uhhhh. Celia. You can share with Dizzy. Elsa and Hades can sleep on the fold out couches in the lounge. The pirates can sleep outside. It’s supposed to rain tonight. Hopefully they’ll melt. Once again. Goodnight!

(She leaves again. She’s halfway up the stairs when Squeaky starts whimpering in pain in his sleep. Squirmy soon joins him. And then they both start crying)

Evie (inhaling sharply through her nose): this is just not my day is it? (Calling up the stairs) Doug. Could you come down. (Bitterly). The shit’s hitting the fan.

(After Doug comes back down. The twins are still screaming and crying in their sleep. And he pirates are looking progressively more terrified)

Uma: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!?!

Mal (frantically flipping through the spell book): I don’t know! I don’t know!

Hades: and what time is it now?

Hades (thinking intensely): twelve hours. DOUGLAS! What time was it when my ex wife and that class traitor attacked the house?

Doug: uhhhh. 10am. Why?

Hades: and what’s time now?

Matty (who’s just arrived and been witnessing the past events amusedly with a very frightened Dude in his arms): 9:50pm

Carlos: GIVE ME BACK MY DOG!!!! (Matty does so). Thank you. Now. What the hell are you doing here you little freak?

Matty: temper temper Mr De Vil. I suggest you treat me a mite more kindly because right now I am your only hope of keeping those two awake past sunrise.

(At this point the screen cuts to Ursula’s restaurant on the isle. The time stamp on the screen says “several hours ago”. Hook’s at the piano, all limbs and mental faculties restored and he’s giving a little performance to all the villains who are meeting there. This is when “little drop of poison” happens.)

[edream93]

You’re a Gryffindor, Hook: Year 2, Part 1

Okay, so I thought I posted already this but then Tumblr ate it? So essentially, here’s part 1 of Year 2 of “You’re a Gryffindor, Hook” . You can also read it on AO3. Enjoy!

She ignored the stares and odd looks she received as she made her way into the stands. It wasn’t a surprise that she stood out with her emerald green robe in a sea of red and gold. 

A snake in the lions’ den, she thought with a roll of her eyes, unconsciously holding herself taller. Honestly, she would have thought they would have gotten used to it by now. 

But this wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last time that Uma Tritaea gained stares. It had become almost a daily nuisance since her first class where she chose her best friend, her closest confidant, over a centuries old house rivalry. Shouldn’t the noble and brave Gryffindors know something or two about loyalty? 

Several older Gryffindors hissed as she passed them by. She hopped smoothly over a purposefully extended leg that happened to be in her path. Uma made a mental note of them. She would get them back with stinging hexes that would have them howling anytime they tried to sit on their behinds. 

Not now though. Too many untrusting eyes watching the Slytherin witch. Now she had to be on her best behavior. After all, there was a reason she was in the stands belonging to the house of lions. 

“Anyone sitting here?” she asked a familiar looking boy. Ben, she thought. From Herbology. He was one of the few Gryffindors that didn’t make Uma want to hex them.

“Yes!” a brunette girl sitting next to him glared at Uma just as Ben said “No,” already making room and genuinely giving a smile that took Uma off guard.

“What Audrey means is, it’s all yours. Promise,” he said, his smile growing impossibly brighter despite his companion’s glare twisting into an offended sneer as Uma gave a nod of thanks, sitting down. Ben opened his mouth, as if to say more but was interrupted by the game’s announcer. 

Diego DeVil, a fourth year Slytherin boy that Uma always saw flirting with anything with legs at their house table - the ghosts included - sat with microphone in hand at the stand where the professors, other school staff, and a few bored looking representatives of the Ministry were congregated. 

“Hello ladies, gents, and non-binary friends to the first match of the season, Gryffindor versus Slytherin!” DeVil smoothly crooned into the ancient looking mic, waiting a moment for the crowd’s enthusiastic screams to die down. “This is surely going to be one for the books, folks! The players are now getting into position as Madame DunBroch steps out onto the field to begin the game!”

What looked like small figures, in red or greens, hovered hundreds of feet above the ground on their brooms as the fiery red haired Gamekeeper and Flight Instructor walked towards the sealed chest in the middle of the field. 

“Which team are you watching for?” Ben startled Uma out of her intense stare of the field just as Madame DunBroch released the bludgers and the snitch, the small gold ball a fleeting speck of glimmer in the air before disappearing. It was a strange question, Uma thought. After all, it was the assumption that if your house was playing, you were cheering for them. 

Uma’s gaze was instantly drawn to the source of an excited crowing that she could still easily pick out despite the loud roar of the crowd as the quaffle was thrown up into the air.

“Not watching for a team,” she said, watching as one of the players in Gryffindor red snatched the quaffle from the air, taking off with surprising speed towards the Slytherin goal post.

Merlin, she hoped that her idiot of a best friend didn’t get himself hurt. Again. (Harriet had a habit of sending both Harry and Uma a howler when Harry got himself in dumb situations.)

Uma found herself sitting up straight and tense, hands fisted in her robes as she watched one of the new Slytherin beaters, a second year named Jay Abanazar, sneak up from behind and club a bludger at the Gryffindor chaser. Uma leaned forward, eyes never leaving the chaser as he quickly spun out of the path of the bludger with fluid ease and scoring in one move.

“Whoa! Looks like the infamous second year Harry Hook is trying to make a statement, scoring the first goal of the game!” DeVil chuckled despite the obvious booing coming from the Slytherin stands. A little bit of tension released from Uma’s shoulders as Harry completely bypassed the few members of his team that attempted to congratulate him. Instead, to Uma’s annoyed amusement, he flew towards the Gryffindor stands, blue eyes on her. 

“Ye see that?!” He grinned, all windswept hair and boyish charm as he leaned forward on his broom to get as close as possible to her. “Uma, did ye see that shot?”

“Harry! The game is still going!” One of his teammates yelled as they zoomed past, chasing one of the Slytherin chasers, a sixth year with long ice blonde hair pulled into a high bun, who now had the quaffle. But Harry didn’t even look back, waiting expectantly for Uma’s response with a wide grin. 

“Yeah, you did good Hook,” Uma allowed herself to smirk as she tried to push him away. “Now go and try to make Jay cry.”

Harry’s grin widened as he grabbed her hand, pressing a soft kiss on the back of it. “Aye aye capt’n!” 

Again, Uma refused to acknowledge the stares directed at her as the Gryffindor chaser zoomed off with surprising speed back into the game. Harry was just being his usual showboat self. It tended to grind on most people’s nerves but Uma found it as normal as the sun rising and setting. 

 The Gryffindors around her jumped to their feet in a deafening roar as Harry intercepted and flew away with the quaffle before the blonde Slytherin chaser could even comprehend that the ball was no longer in her hands. Harry swooped back towards the Slytherin goals, two of the school’s numerous part dwarf cousins who were the Gryffindor beaters flanking him to keep the bludger off him before he scored another point. 

The entire House of Gryffindor cheered wildly, everyone’s focus on the field. One stare though did itch against Uma’s skin enough for her to turn with a glare, hand already reaching for her wand, just in case. 

“Do I have something on my face, Florian?” 

A blush that had nothing to do with the crisp wind filled Ben’s cheeks. “Oh. Uh. No, I was just- nevermind,” he awkwardly turned back to face the game. Uma’s eyes narrowed but sensed no maliciousness from the boy, turning back as well to watch the game. 

Hours later, while Slytherin would be celebrating late into the morning hours thanks to their Seeker finding the snitch before Gryffindor could score any more points, Uma would find herself spending the night in the infirmary (long after Madame Flora had tried to kick her out). She had carefully wedged herself next to Harry on the bed, finishing a letter to Harriet explaining to the older witch how her only brother had yet again wound up in the infirmary again, said wizard next to her, sleeping off the Skele-Gro potion that was repairing his left arm with cringing pops and snaps that Uma bit her bottom lip to ignore. 

After finishing the letter, she was just about to read the section on cecaelias in her book of water-based magical creatures Harry had insisted on buying for her when they had gone school shopping when she felt him shift next to her. He reached out sleepily with his good hand, fingers lightly twisting in her braids like they always did when he wanted to make sure she was close. “Did ye, did ye see me, Uma?” he mumbled, already falling back to sleep as he curled closer to her.

Uma gave him a fond smile, carding her hand through his wild hair. “I saw,” she said, pausing for a moment before leaning over and pressing a quick, feather light kiss on his brow before returning back to her book, ignoring the happy sigh that escaped from her best friends lips or the way that she slowly let her breath match his until they were both asleep.