#uhh i had something else...
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no I know exactly what you're talking about. I think one of the big reasons that kekkaishi stuck out to me so much when I was reading it in middle school was that... the characters were asian... and actually LOOKED asian. like yeah it's manga and super stylized and abstract most of the time that things like race aren't even getting conveyed at all because you just know from context that the characters are asian but it just struck me so much that someone out there thought the flat profile with the rounded nose and features was worth depicting with such care and consistency, and on a main character no less (gen also has this kind of profile, and tokine to some degree as well)
I think you're quite accurate in saying that it's an early Tanabe thing too, because like... how do I say this. her early oneshots, especially the ones leaning into the horror genre, and has these almost off-puttingly realistic proportions.
proto yoshimori... you are so realistic.
I think it's obvious that she drew from life quite a lot in her early times... these are not features that art school busts have, if you catch my drift. even though kekkaishi is already far more stylized than, say, the kekkaishi one-shot, I do think this specific profile is one of the holdovers from that early era of art, and it got lost somewhere between the end of kekkaishi and whenever shuumatu happened. nearly none of that remains in birdmen, and even though kaihen is also having this heavy oriental vibe we don't really see it in the same way there either which makes me a little sad </3
I feel like this is the profile you're talking about! left is from LOST PRINCESS and right is from F is for Fake! if I had to guess, I'd say lost princess came before the kekkaishi one-shot, and f is for fake was probably drawn some time during the serialization of kekkaishi, based solely on the artstyle.
anyways I'm sorry for this info dump I just. also feel strongly about this topic lol
sometimes I'll be reading ashihara hinako and she'll hit me with this early-ish tanabe-esque profile view like
I say early-ish and tanabe-esque bc it reminds me of kekkaishi more than anything. I doubt this is a signature thing for her, realistically, but for me it is. I remember watching the kekkaishi anime on Netflix (the original audio wasn't available, so I had to watch the English dub lmao), and I thought this kind of profile was weird and I didn't like it much. now I love it. I really love it
and now idk . I'm overwhelmed. I'm so glad tanabe sensei is still alive and creating art. I'm so upset ashihara sensei took her own life. I love them both so much.
#just thinking thoughts...#oh man. lots of things going on the tag as well.#well first of all I'm really sorry that one of your favorite mangaka couldn't accept the disingenuous adaptation of her work#it was so disrespectful that they failed to consult her while scripting the TV adaptation... come on. bare minimums here...#honestly i am kind of worried about tanabe-sensei as well. in a different way.#if i had to guess she's in her 50s or 60s... starting a whole new weekly serial...? this feels tough...#hm. well there is nothing i can do about that. in other news. the f is for fake oneshot collection...#I'm scanlating it with mirror. i cannot imagine anything being done before like. christmas though#uhh i had something else...#OH. CHRIST.#one of the summers when i was in college i came to Taiwan and took a how to draw manga course#and the first day i was there the teacher took a look at my work abs tools me that my character designs were 'too round'#and like at this point in time i had been drawing profiles like this and it made me so fucking mad that i stopped going.#like i paid for the course already but i just decided it wasn't worth my time. like what... I'm deliberately trying to draw stuff that's not#white people features. and immediately when i step into a 'professional' setting i start getting told that our features are 'bad design'#IN ASIA NO LESS!! COME ON. WE DON'T NEED TO BE SO SLAVISHLY MARRIED TO WESTERN AESTHETICS. COME ON NOW...#anyways. I'm so fucking exhausted. sorry for coming onto your post abs saying this but you're really good about turning rbs off#on private posts. so i figured this was free real estate. love you xoxo
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Went to Michaels again, you know we had to do it to em
#michaels#cotl#lambert….#i had to make sure that they didn’t just leave the word CULT there and some random mom or someone thinks we’re actually promoting a cult#because… we like being in michaels…#and we dont wanna be banned or some shit#from silly cult game mention#lambert posts#mel talks#cult of the lamb alters#Narinder straight up fucking hated Michaels#but he’s getting used to shit so it’s to be expected ig#he hates extreme colors for some reason#complains about it burning his eyes#this reminds me that i have to post that uhh alter thing so everyone that actually reads these knows who we are and shit#because NO ONE knows who i am#I am Mel#…Im not even gonna try and… talk the rest of this shit out#im prolly gonna post it tonight or tomorrow too#cause I think I have to update it to explain Nari probably..#since Lambert will keep this guy in front with everyone else#and maybe one day—Narinder will (unlikely) post something himself on here!#won’t that be fun!#sweating…#ok i gotta go#cult of the lamb lambert#lamb cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb#doodles#doodlings
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in a cafe rn. this place is nice :>
#just me hi#they have a lot of random old stuff in here it's fun :D#tons of books too; though most of them seem to be romance and unfortunately i've come to terms w/ the fact i'm a hater gfhsfh </3#oh and not that the old stuff is random in a new place; it's an old-looking place with a lot of old stuff that doesn't match anything else#lol ! there are some spots that are Almost uhh- the word is not coherent but it's something like it hfhvs#i've had a bisquit sanmich and a lemonade which was pretty fine. i liked the sandwich though it was a bit greasy bfsh :>#idk i'm just comfortable here. the guy running the counter might be gay and there's a bathroom sign that jokes abt gender n creatures for#them lol - it's relatively quiet too n i have a chair that's pressed against the wall w/ no windows so i don't feel like i can be snuck up#on ghfhsv. i like it here so far :D#//anywho i think i'm gonna get on my ar.ft attacks now hfhsvh#i didn't bother posting my first one this year but i'll get to that rn!! :3#i have 1 + 1/2 i gotta do - i say a half because it doesn't Technically count as an attack due to the System but ehe :33#//btw this place has a thing going on where it's Nearly symmetrical#every table is missing at least 1 chair that would make it so and if there Is an even amount of chairs they aren't the same kind#though they Are matching in colour if they aren't the same type! i like that. dunno why hfbvs#also i like how oddly everything has been placed. tables placed in a diamond form compared to the room and then others are situated like#regular tables ; i just think it's interesting lol :33#//oh and i've finished another chapter of my book ; it's taking me forever because i actually came to like it a lot n i don't want it to en#a common habit of mine hfhfsh <3#though ik it's hard to tell from the outside if i'm not doing it cuz i hate it or cuz i love it. fun for Me though hfhbshvs#//yea anyway. i like this place lol :>#gonna wander around prolly. n work on stuff hopefully :>>#i have a ~+~root beer~+~ so here i go !! toodles :D
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:3cc Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤
(Picture me headbonking you like a cat)
Why would you do this to me with my 108 fics and more wips in docs not yet posted (some of which would make this list)
I am terrible at picking rankings help
Uhhhh
When I Wake From This Dream With Chains All Around Me (Hollow Knight) where my HK writing got kicked off. Longfic.
It’s Burned In My Mind and all of its associated works (Hollow Knight) absolute fever dream, wrote in a splurge of dissociation, wild time and probably my favorite fic I’ve written. Multichap.
The If We Could Just Be What We Wanted verse (Transformers Prime with a dose of a bunch of other continuities) particularly the first one (which needs edits but in terms of tone and characters and me managing plots genuinely holds up really well to the last few years), Damned If I Do (oneshot), and poor Chaotic Unity (longfic), who I had so many seeds of foreshadowing put into the first fic for and then it got read by like five perfect of the original’s readers XD
control’s graveyard (Monsterverse Godzilla. Yep.) entirely self indulgent fun times, power dynamics central, character studies on everyone, I poured into worldbuilding and backstories and I think I managed to do show don’t tell with them better here than I manage elsewhere. Someone said that I managed to keep the main character “alien and genuinely despicable” while somehow keeping them sympathetic, and that praise is put on my mental fridge forever. I reread this fic more than I do any of my other ones. Genuinely my favoritism for it is showing hard. Multichap.
Immolation (MTMTE/Lost Light) Haven’t read this one in a year so grammar wise I’m sure it’s a wreck, but my 3am brain went off on this one and its stream of consciousness style. Oneshot.
Wyrm Off A String (Hollow Knight) based on crack and others’ art, ridiculous premise, somehow the best worldbuilding and foreshadowing of a twist ending I’ve done. Oneshot.
Linger (Hollow Knight) mad niche, another one that began because of crack and shitposts I saw. Loss of self, body horror, psychological horror, non linear dream madness, what’s not for me to love. Multichap in progress
Wallow (Hollow Knight) another incredibly niche one nobody asked for, that is actually going to be turned into a multichap and has a lot of juicy to a self indulgent author tension and shenanigans already written, but I’m waiting until I’ve written most all of it before I start posting the new chapters. Dubbed by my friends as the Mean White Lady Fic. Traitor Lord my beloved. (Oneshot on ao3, multichap to be)
sometimes family is a mad scientist spider, his amoral ex, their build-a-child kit gone right, and the human sidekick (IDW2005 Transformers) oneshots collection. Quite proud of the Verity and Prowl povs. Tarantulas my blorbo.
ex cinere (House of Ashes) for capturing the voice and worldbuilding after I relistened to Randolph’s things a million times. I feel like I managed to keep aliens alien for it (short multichap)
And CarnEVILs? In MY Dirtmouth? (It’s More Likely Than You Think!) (Hollow Knight) halloween oneshot with an Elderbug pov that feels very Elderbug and Dirtmouth vibes as good here as in Chains. Elderbug did not enjoy his obligatory grimm teatime™️.
Hey look this is not five. 108 fics too difficult to narrow down for me
#ashyronfire#I can’t narrow it down to five#I didn’t even get to get to things like my first HK oneshot#wherein the radiance ripped her own heart out to stop dealing with mortal fears and it was what became the nightmare heart#My fic library has some weeeird ones in it#something for everyone perhaps!#also didn’t mention any of the wips that are Long but not yet on ao3#like a certain kung fu panda longfic that is unreliable narrator loveliness#I may write a lot of niche things that are self indulgent because no one else had written them yet#but I do tend to love my works outside of hating the grammar and language errors I find later#thanks for the ask anyway XD#I feel so awkward tagging this with its fandom but uhh#hollow knight#transformers fics#my fics#Godzilla#Monsterverse#transformers
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My mutuals are genuinely so cool. I love you guys
#people whose hearts i know but faces i don't#yall are really good people though#ive had such good interactions on this website that ive not only been able to go through my darkest points on here#but also recover too. and thats not something ive found anywhere else#it really says a lot about you guys i thi#it says a lot i think that ive gotten so much better in the uhh (calculating) 2? years ive been on here#i think it was less but that timw frame is fuzzy#i think this specific blog ive had for about 1 and a half years#you guys make me emotional
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GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#sxsh generations spoilers#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#grrrr they cooked with this#GOT A CHANCE TOW ATCH IT AND OOO#THAT WAS SO SICK????W#I LOVE HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THE START IS COS IT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING ELSE AND I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH IN DOUBT#like i knew it couldnt be but was only reassured when maria showed her face#i love how the despair in her voice also heightens the tension but turns out its because shes running out of breath because of her sickness#also i love how they use colors here so much wtf#lookdev and art team fucking cooked oh my god#like when they are running at the start and everything is kinda green and cool and marias blonde hair is literally emiting a yellow aura#ALSO i LOVE how they make it clear that this isnt “what actually happened”#its still shadow's memories and they still arent reliable. its only one more reflection of his trauma that someone is trying to take#advantage of by shedding light on it again and testing how he reacts to it#so uhh black arms mind hive confirmed?#ALSO THE FACT THAT SHADOW KNOWS ARK DESTROYED ALL THE EVIDENCE RIGHT AFTER THE ARK RAID#DOES THAT MEAN THAT AFTER THEY CAPTURED HIM HE STAYED CONSCIOUS AND HAD TO WATCH THEM CLEANING ALL THE PROOF THAT THEY MURDERD EVERYONE??#WHAT THE FUCK7#but i must say im starting to wonder if they edited it out again today for some reason#there is dialogue missing that still appears in the subtitles and that was present in the first teaser#i watch with subs on and i must admit that took me out of it for a second because i knew that was supposed to be there but wasnt
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heyyy!!1!1 hi!1!!!1 :3
intro post after a few months bc i want people to know stuff ab me when they check my blog lol
professional yapper vvv
Basic stuff:
Name: Thresher (not really, but i like the shark :3)
Nationality: Cuban (born)
Age: minor
Birthday: Nov. 14
Pronouns: any, maybe even neopronouns idrc!
Labels: ace spec, biromantic, femme enby
Languages: Spanish, French, English
Likes:
Music: very diverse taste, but i RLLY like Rammstein (huge fan rn) , Ayesha Erotica (I love rapping her songs theyre so good), Mitski, Maná, Tyler, The Creator, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, etc. <3
Animals: I looooove animals in general (especially sea creatures and mammals), BUT if I see a bug IRL I will pull out a flamethrower. Otherwise they’re chill. When they’re in pictures obv. Also I have a dog named Kyoto :3:3:3:3:3:3
Cute stuff: pass it over. yeah. hand me over the entire Sanrio company. and just cute stuff in general like Snoopy and probably even Vocaloids. My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake too. Magical girls. go on.
Horror: yeah i had to contradict myself lol. i LOOOVE horror games and videos (dropped ARGs and stuff a bit, but i still like them, the story, the lore and more independent horror series on yt like Dirty Donna ^^)!11!
A few animes and series: would be way too fucking long of a yap sesh, but I like Mermaid Melody: Pichi Pichi Pitch, Cardcaptor Sakura, JJBA (fugo kinnie obviously), Monster High, and a few others
Drawing: at my sketchbook. straight up “drawing it”. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. Nothing (i upload a few little sketches a week :3)
Writing: i don't post the stuff I write (i may consider it) since its in Spanish and its mainly poems, but i do enjoy writing in french, english and spanish!
Aesthetics/Styles/Subgenres: its fun to explore ways to dress and decorate stuff! (i dress dark and masc but im pink and bows at the same time what) I also am super into fashion <3
My irl friends and tumblr moots!1!!: theyre genuinely so kewl <3
and that was about it! :3
thanks for checking out my blog or reading this, i appreciate it a lot as someone who's just started posting art online a few months ago <3
mylove-thresher 🤍
#blog intro#yayyyy :3#i was gonna show a drawing of me but ehh... maybe another day#i fr was peocrastinating w this 😭#but hey i finally made an intro post!!1#me omw to contradict anything i like with something else i like#also uhh preach charmmy kitty ilh shes one of the best sanrio characters!!1!11#(i had a poster of her as a kid but ahh doesnt the cuban sun toast all plastic to a crisp)
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YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!
MISHA 💖💓🩷❤️💕💖💓🩷💖❤️💖💓💓💖🩷💓
#i loevev them so much did you know that#currently saving up for him and it is HELL after spending it all on sparkel .so many quests and not enough timw .........#and . ouhhh havent had the chance to talk abt . shit what is it called . lemme go see real quick .#A CHILDS DREAM . yknow that one map with the text on the walls and the melted clocks and stuff .#that was done . SO incredibly well it makes me INSANE...........#so like . im 100.1% sure the speaker (who talks abt mikhail a lot) in that room is misha.#like that IS her voice right . im not going insane#its just . auuh... the dreams (or at least golden hour) in peacony are so childlike .... like . some of the puzzles are jigsaw puzzle ;#turn into a small cartoon character ; and help the cartoon character find his cartoon gears .#and then you get to clockie . who can only be seen by someone w a childs innoence (or smth around those lines)#and that misha can see clockie . which like . cool right ? yeab. UNTIL YOU GET TO A CHILDS DREAM ..#where theres something just ... sososo off .#and its ... its just gotta be misha . its gotta be . idk if theres anything outside of main story im missing (there probably is)#BUT . augh . auf even .#childs dream still has these childlike qualities to it (the paper birds; walking on walls) but just ... more warped#(the general atmosphere of the place; the monsters even .)#the music having a music box to make the tone of the song more distressing ... how its so much more smaller than golden hour ..#aughhhhhh ... its just such a good parallel..... i could talk abt it all day really .#anyways . i WAS going to tell u abt my misha theory (which may or may not be confirmed) bu t i got DISTRACTED.#uhh anyways . my theory is that misha is somehow trapped in peacony .#when misha goes onto the parlor car they mention that theyve never been outside of peacony before and that she can t stay for long .#which i imagine is very normal! BUT its this combined w her lock motif (pupils; most of the doors in childs dream) thag make me suspicious#i mentioned before that golden hour has a very childish quality to it. and that misha has that childish quality.#okay well . what if mishas being kept there so that golden hour can keep on being a dream for other people?#and so that would make golden hour mishas dream. (or part of his dream? could be more people the familys keeping)#and that would imply that childs dream is . well . mishas nightmare .#uhm . i think thats it ..? if i come up w anything else ill . ramble abt it somewhere . definitely not the most eloquent but#i hope i got the point across <33#i think its an understatement to say i love misha . i LOVE MISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Gw2 Huevember Week 4
I've been thinking a lot about Laurence and his past recently, and this cool color-scheme really went with the feeling.
Though he later found ways to escape it, there was an incredibly tight grip on his life. His purpose was to be perfect, be beautiful, be a shining jewel for the Bellamy family, not as an heir but as a trinket.
#gw2#gw2 huevember#my art#Laurence Bellamy#So I kinda decided to make my 'break' week last week bc I was superbusy helping family with stuff#and then I realized today that the reason why week 5 was a 'break' was because it was half as long#and uhh#LOok this still counts for huvember I finished it at 1 am which..is 1 hour away from it being november#tw scopophobia#I thinkthat is the right tag#ANYWAYS Uhh Laurence has been on my mind A LOT recently#been really thinking about the details of how fucked his father was and what was going on with him#I realized that after his father lost his heir and wife#he would take a sudden turn from being horribly abusive to being 'nice' to laurence because he was all he had left#and if he lost anything else his future would be ruined#Of course even at the age of 10-11 Laurence knew that something was wrong with this sudden shift#and was deeply upset by the fact that his father now just pretended like he never did anything horrible to him#I should at some point make a longer post about all this and not just put an essay decribing abuse in the tags lol#new coping mechanism dropped:#make a blorbo with a somewhat similar past to you but make it so their abuser eventually goes to jail
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In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3
#vent#oho five hours babeeee hungry AND hot AND depressed?? what is this?? my birthday?#hahaha yeaap. it’s cool it’s cool I’m chillin#just vibin. head feels. weird. but I don’t entirely know what up with that it could be a few things if I’m being honest lol#hmmgf when was the last time I just. laid here this often?#laid? layd? layed?? whatever lol#hmm I found a fuckin uhh. vent diagram thing that showed BPD ASHD and Autism and their specific traits and overlaps#is uh. uhm. too close!! like sir!! who gave you!! permission!!!!#oofy anyways uhmmmmmm. realized that I!! don’t interact with people!! as much as I did when I was younger!!#like I had my classmates. my friends. my family. the ppl on tumblr and stuff. yknow#I was talking to someone and shit like!! every day!! for multiple hours!! a day!!!!#now it’s like. wow boy howdy. what are the chances I y’all for more than an hour with LITERALLY ANYONE today :)#uhhghgh gross ew ew nasty. I totally. don’t care that I’m not getting my enrichment#I’ll jus read tags on my art and look through old messages in place of actually. talking to anyone#mmm. conversations hard. hate talking about myself. don’t know anything besides myself. hate certain topics (but won’t say anything bout it)#anndd yeaa!! I don’t understand ppl and their motives and why they like me specifically. I put on my best personality for youu#I’m playing off of you and mirroring how you act so you’ll be ok with me <3 but that’s ok I suppose. I don’t think anyone here is out for my#guys so I’m doing good at least somewhat lol. ahmm. you ever not care about being something special to someone else. and then they kindaa.#squash that idea? and in theory you shouldn’t care since you didn’t want it in the first place but. them saying it hits? different? like oou#oh and question I don’t expect anyone to answer. you ever cried cus. someone aid you were their friend? best friend specifically? idk man#2 ppl have said I’m their best friend an I had to literally force myself not to get emotional at the first one and then I legitimately cried#with the second one LMAO like. how ridiculous is that yea? yeah#it’s. yeah. I’ve called ppl my bffs or whatever before but. it’s different when someone says it to you first ig. before I think they only#gave me the label out of convenience. not that we weren’t actually friends (at least I hope we were DHHDV) but. idk!! I literally yearned#for like!! basic shiittt!! I got put in time out like beginning of kindergarten cus I cried over my 1st best friend partnering with a new#girl instead of me!!! 😭 woof. that was the ONLY time I ever cried in public EVER. didn’t matter how many time I got hurt physically or#emotionally or how stressed I got or how confused or embarrassed and humiliated I was!! I’m NEVER letting people look at me like I’m stupid#for caring EVER. AGAIN. woof ok getting off the rails here I was like at least sort of ok when I started writing this but now I’m very much#NOT lololol so uhhhhhhhhhhh. anyways. let you get back to scrolling or swiping or whatever. I’ll be finnee totally. just. here
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How the fuck did I spend THREE HOURS in the craft store?? And we went to one literally two days ago too??? I was supposed to just grab two things and LOOK at stuff for craft shows (got a LOT) like 😳
#marquilla#i didn't even realize til i texted mom i was leaving and saw it had been 3 hours like shdhdhdg girl help#i got a lot of stuff for bean agdgdgd yknow for not being 'real' he sure is a spoiled little shit#i got him fake wheat to go with his hay bales. some pumpkins im gonna paint either for him or in general uhh idr what else but he ALMOST#got a fishing pole and/or a tackle box but they were $5 each and i was like... mar go home shdhdhdhhd#im blanking but i know i got him something else...#anyways egdgdgd i spent way too much 😭 but to be fair!!!! i could've done worse ☺️ bc i was looking at the fall decor that was on sale#and fabric but i was like hmmm not today#now im very tired and sore from all the bullshit at work this week#but i was able to take it easier today
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Magfest was fun! Walked around as Cammy, made a lot of “merch,” talked to a bunch of cool dudes, traded wares, met new friends and finally met old ones, got a jello shot from a Raccacoonie cosplayer, ate so much awful food, learned of new games, and got inspired.
I made so many buttons of cammypus and other funny creatures, folded 50+ origami boxes for the perler bead crafters, and drew on any paper I can find. It was nice and now I have no money.
#magfest#i may not have partied played video games all day or whatever but fun is diff for everyone#my fun is just seeing everyone having a good time. All the colors and being surrounded by folks who enjoy the same things i do#also i got to meet an online friend of over a decade. We played games and watched anime and did what friends would do#true friendship. But now. I gotta uhh fix the things i eat because we ate nothing but carbs#i have gained five pounds. I am squishie. But iv been inspired to try and fail because hey not everyone wins on their first try#we got a free hamster plushie for a game dev company whose game HAMSTERDAMflopped#im sure making so many pkushies hey anticipated a hit. But we cant have it all#and it inspired me to just believe we’ll have a hit and do our best. And if it flops. We can try again with something else or improving#on what we had. Thank you funny hamster plush named pim. Support their new game WILDMENDER#failure isnt the end of the world. And sometimes we’ll lose time money or effort on something that wont succeed#but thats jsut a step towards actual success#so heres hoping we get the balls to table at a convention and sell silly little trinkets we made#akso i want a button maker now#shoutout to zack viet and matt. I appreicate yall talking to me and your smallest support. Anything is everything.#watched everything everywhefe all at once. All that combined is tingling my brain towards thoughts
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I once heard that dreaming about someone constantly means that they’re thinking about you. Maybe these people miss you too?
kneejerk reaction is that I hope they’re not thinking of me tbh
#is that the truth? I’m not too sure. I just think it’s be easier to be okay with the concept of everyone forgetting me forever than to sit#with the mortifying possibility of being known and remembered#I don’t remember my hs self fondly so I don’t see why anyone else would yknow#I was already kinda convinced everybody hated me before I vanished so I guess. if ppl are thinking about me it’s negative#it’s scarier if it isn’t lmaoo#I don’t know what’s wrong with me#but yeah I don’t think it works like that nonnie or at the very least I hope it doesn’t <3#I think I’m just a weird guy whose brain is trying to hold on to idealized memories of the past because he’s afraid of growing up#n wishes they had the insight they do now back then. if I had known I was a nb lesbian dealing w massive comp het#if I had known abt the bpd I could’ve realized that I split on ppl and myself#i was so excited to have friends and be cared about man#I hate that little guy I was but I don’t blame them for being stupid and not understanding shit. I wish I could slap my younger self on the#back of the head and be like “’be normal dumbass ur friends like you’’#I uhh often focus on hurting myself more than not hurting the people around me and it was rlly bad back then#asks#nonnie#this is all to say that I think that the constant feeling of instability and academic stress is causing me to subconsciously wish for the#the days I perceive as being easier. it’s a mishmash of real events and things that possibly could’ve been if I was normal#I believe I want a feeling of control or something? idk. idk that contradicts everything#dreams are just dreams. I’m probably just regretting how much of senior year I lost and that’s it
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I miss Book BFDI man... I remember back in pre split where she got shit for absolutely no reason??? I know the arc wasn't the best paced but it was stuff like "shes so mean to taco automatically bad!!11".
Actually when the split happened I vowed to never watch newer BFDI episodes because of how her and Taco's story just. Ended there. I still haven't seen TPOT by the way.
#berrybytes#cym-k has wrote some detailed stuff about book if i recall#though its been years so uhh correct me on that#.txt#if i had a nickel for every time a green book had a arc with lots of potential aborted.#because the writers wanted to pursue something else#id have... 2-3?#and 2 of those were from book bfdi </3#object bytes
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writing timelines for my creative story projects in Excel is so chaotic, but also the only way to write timelines
#just spent uhh...three hours ish transferring a handwritten timeline into a digital Excel file#technically didn't even complete it I'm missing all sorts of events and basically all the years#like the entire point of using Excel is so I can write out years and be able to track things like character ages#but man I had forgotten just how much I had written by hand and then mentally added in#w/ the intention of writing the events in when I wrote up a digital timeline#like okay this is what I get for tracking the history of humanity in my newest fantasy world from the stone age onwards I guess#was not expecting to take that long honestly#like I wanted to work on some other projects and then just got Really Focused On This One Task oops#alas my poor hours I wished to spend you doing something else#ah well#oracle of lore
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need the weather here to turn shit down a few notches so i can go outside without immediately turning into a human sized ice cube
#heart2heart#cashier at walgreens asked basically if i was needing something else when she saw me come back inside and was VERY agreeable-#-to me saying no. my lyft was just going to take 11min to arrive and i was not gonna stand outside that whole time#(actually went out. to uhh. scope out the poke place next door but concluded it looked sitdown and i didnt want to go in to find out-#-its price situation after all)#(ive just been curious of it since we moved here. i had time to kill. im an impulsive little adhd fool. seemed like a good idea somehow)#(fucked around and found out in realtime /j)
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