#ughhh i hate everything
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uhhh sketchdumps AGAIN bcs i had to get them out of my system after this busy ass week
also hiii new mkulia redesigns dropped ^_^!!
#my art#total drama#tdi 2023#td mk#total drama mk#tdi mk#td julia#total drama julia#tdi julia#mkulia#td mkulia#total drama mkulia#i rlly wanna draw all the tdi cast as dramaeama but#i also need to do like a thousand rhings n im soo overwhelmeed!!! iii#m gnna finish intertwined chapt 4 this weekend ;;;;; i think im like 6k words in now??#ughhh i hate everything#BUT hopefully u guys like this new style cause i sure do!!^_^
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The first time I've travelled states since 2019, the first time Ive seen friends since longer than that. Ive held off from even going on trips all during the pandemic because I was so scared I would bring Covid home and infect immune compromised kids. And I finally work the nerve up to do it. And I get hit with Covid because someone in our party was already infected when I got there. Now I'm somewhere between days two and five and this shit sucks.
#Fucking Covid man#I was sooo stressed trying to be careful in the airport too#Ughhh I hate everything
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talking about my finger im hella mad bc i have classes today and tomorrow that i have to type using a mechanical keyboard but now i CANT
#ughhh i hate everything#why would this happen to me#i have two hurt fingers and an upcoming headache#i also have to sleep but if i sleep now i know i wont get up to school#yesterday i went to school on a monday for the first time and now i plan on going to school the whole week for the first time#i had such a bad day#im feeling sick#ekon speaks
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i thought the reason was obvious..??
but you dont seem to get the implication so i guess ill just keep talking and you can listen if you want to
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that one meme but its them :] sort of a sequel to this
#chilaios#uughhhh ughhh GUYS WHO CANT COMMUNICATE BECAUSE THE WAY THEY SHOW AFFECTION IS CONVOLUTED AND WEIRD!!!#HEEELPPP HEEEEEELP#you see. i WOULD make another meta post about them other than the one unfinished one i have. but this is the ONLY WAY i can describe it#without like. tripping over my words or being incomprehensible#UUGOHOHOHGHUUGH IMPLICATIOOONS IMPLICATIOOONSSSSSS#'mimics are cute when theyre turned over!' (i want to show how this creature you hate can be charming in its own right)#+ the implication within the story that chilchuck lets laios call him chil#+ chilchucks odd amount off knowledge on monsters#+ IDK. EVERYTHING.#ITS ALMOST 12 AM MY THOUGHTS ARENT COHERENT. I TOLD YOU THIS MEME IS THE ONLY WAY I COULD EXPRESS IT WITHOUT SOUNDING NONSENSICAL
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guy who's been everywhere and knows everyone
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#god i needed to draw something different im stuck and i hate everything i draw#i dont have the the theee energy or whatever i cant get myself to work on my art and it sucks#and idk what to do about it#ughhh#im just making ugly doodles that i hate and i feel even worse please sonic help meee save meeee#art#fanart#digital art
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they're filming the next life series like right now. like Right Now. they're making alliances that are gonna change our brain chemistry entirely!!!!! they're doing things that are going to make us go INSANE!!!! they're talking right now. they're interacting. they're playing the game. maybe someone's died already. maybe there's a full-fledged server war going on. we don't know. we won't know until friday and that is KILLING me
#like. interactions between groups we havent even THOUGHT of#like mounders or gem and the scotts. those were so out of left field but they collectively absolutely changed EVERYTHING#this time next week we're going to be like wtf how did we survive without *insert team name here*#boat boys interactions. will they team up? will they hate each other? we won't know and UGHHH i hate it and i love it#is scar gonna say some out of pocket shit again like “you and me we know monopolies”#because that was REALLY uncalled for. nine dead thousands injured#is etho gonna be just as pathetic wet cat washed up as he was in secret life. probably but we dont KNOWWWW#and then the big question the elephant in the room IS JOEL GONNA WIN#he is. i believe in him#babe u can DOOO ITTTT#been cheering on u for forever plsssplspsplspls#nya talks#trafficblr#life smp#life series#life series smp#traffic smp#traffic series
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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wanted to draw some halloween art but apparently the shit day i had is affecting me more than i wanted to allow (even tho i took a long nap) ...........i dont like anything i draw rn. maybe ill try later. happy halloween and dont upset the spirits or they will haunt you ❤️
#ill go and have a strong enough drink to delete the day fr now and then try again later ughhh#yknow people and work pressure and no break angered and overstimmed me sm im ditching the wine and going straight for the vodka#bc im not allowed to bite people who test my patience and piss me off#ahhhh i should not even remember im getting a migraine again fr#im in such a “i hate everything” mood rn no wonder i dont like my art now AHHHHHHH I WAS SO EXCITED TO DRAW DAMMIT#😭😭😭😭😭#babbles#tbd
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Carried by the crowd! Danke, Groningen! 💗
#rammstien#paul landers#richard kruspe#christoph schneider#oliver riedel#flake lorenz#till lindemann#ughhh#i love it#but#i hate it that everything is so damn fast#paul at the 1st one 🥹💖💖💖#richard it the car 🥹💖💖💖#stadium tour 23#my ramm gifs
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mtt playing poker but why would they bet with money thats soooo boring boo boo boo no they bet with increasingly worse and concerning things and its fun for some reason
oh theyd LOVE that shit istg. luck and bluff and tells and lies??? god who knows your own lies and deceit better than another version of yourself??? and yet picking up the other two's tells is oh so very hard because theyre not the same anymore than when they were all sans and sometimes they dont even know themselves so how could they pick up on a mirrored version's? it works out a lot more than they think
killer would have no disregard for what he bets. he plays unpredictably and sneakily. probably faking some emotion here and there to get the hasty (horror) confused and concerned about what he could do and then it turns out killer had a fucking ass hand yet he won??? BULLSHIT horror cries out!!!! but dust just picks up the cards on the ground and deals them again and they play another round. sometimes killer purposely loses. why? he dont know its just to throw a wild card into dust and horror's predictions and mayhaps for the reactions
dust is a dirty player he is a fucking CHEATER‼️‼️‼️ phantom paps are his eyes that he uses to spy on killer and horror's hands. would he need to even try anymore at that point when he could easily win every round? well yes because that wouldn't be a fun game and dust wants to have as much fun as he can in this game of lies. he pretends he doesn't know what horror and killer's hands are. they both know. theyre both more than aware of dust's cheating. and that's why their betting starts going against him specifically and then dust has to figure out how to bet them higher while also trying not to fuck himself over
horror's main thing is just to not get fucked over. goddamnit why did he agree to this he's not as open to getting hurt than dust or killer are!!! (but you still agreed anyways?) so he thinks he's the only one to have a real reason to win (because horror no wanna get hurty hurty owww owww painpainpain ouch!!!) maybe he gets too cocky and ends up betting too high because dust or killer had been losing and he wanted to take a chance. maybe that high bet was actually what got him to win?? it's all a game of chance of course and horror'll only show what he thinks after the round's done. when the cards are dealt and the stakes are up he'll just analyze the hell out of the two (don't YOU hate being analyzed??) and tap his fingers on the table over and over
their way of betting would be like: the winner gets to do whatever the other two said as their bets to the betters. like if dust loses and horror wins and he said he could get sucker punched horror is sucker punching the FUCK out of him. but these three argue they fight and bicker and throw gibes and taunts!!! how would they ever agree on what bets are higher and which are lower ⁉️⁉️⁉️ to horror a bet of saying that he'd have to eat something could be like straight hell to him but killer and dust could just put the argument that it doesn't REALLY mean that much (they know it does to horror) and then force him to bet higher because cmon coward you can do better than that!!! dont you want to get some sort of revenge on us if you lose a previous round and win this one??? and other forms of logic like that 4 dust and killer
killer starts off with an absurdly high bet (because he would) like getting to mess with his soul or something. is he sure that dust and horror have losing hands? he doesn't know. and because killer has no form of limit for himself and that's already a high bar to set for dust and horror to reach (if they don't have good hands i think they'd probably want killer to bet lower. but would they tell him??) so damn it horror has to pull out some bullshit fucking bet like he'll allow himself to get hunted down by the two with every trap he's ever set on a human in horrortale (sooo much more psychological thinking and trickery going on without betting money and instead scenarios its SO FUN). and then could dust fold? does phantom paps say he should? it depends on the cards dust has (and what if he doesn't believe paps based on his own assumptions? (paranoid bitch)) and if he can't fold he has to match the bet or go higher and then he comes up with some bogus situation like ok i'll let you guys dress me up in my human's clothes and throw me in an au and have to do what they did (and OH GOD what about if they make a bet that the other 2 wouldn't actually want to do if they win??? if killer won that round with that as dust's bet would he want someone to reenact something similar to what his own human did and have to watch??????)
oops they just got another new set of scars from last week's poker night and another layer of trauma but why the hell are they sitting down at the table again??? idk man i'm just the dealer here trying not to get killed
#keep in mind i dont know a damn thing about poker ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#they match eachother's freak#guys gambling is bad just know that. the trio gamble with eachother 100% every interaction is a gamble#gambling is so them i will not lie. everything about them is so gambling coded. casino trio#its addicting and also something they hate. something that represents the worst trait of them that the indulge each time they interact#and yet the pull is there and its fun in the moment and there are moments where taking the gamble was worth it and they dont hate eachother#but the losses always overshadow the wins and just staying addicted isnt helping them at all. but addictions are hard#and theres still some more to win so for the time being why not bet all you have and give everything up to the other two?#UGHHH THIS IDEA IS SO FUN AND AMAZING I NEED THEM TO BECOME REAL SO I CAN WITNESS THIS#I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL CARDS OR HOW TO BE A DEALER BUT ID LEARN JUST FOR THIS SIGHT I WOULD I WILL IM GONNA no im not BUT STILL#can people actually turn into the mtt and try to reenact this because i actually would kill to see this sight live#worlds best poker game dare i say. the stakes are HIGH dare i say HIGH!!!!!#now dont forget about the other factors like previous rounds or sudden impulses or selfish goals or current moods#GOD EVERY NIGHT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN. i can understand the appeal of why they would keep playing even after all that#non violent bets. violent bets. bets of revenge bets to make motivations. the world is their oyster#this form of the trio's poker would be just a massive free for all of pushing boundaries and it all depends on luck#kist has russian roulette. horrorkiller has the knife game. mttpoly has trio poker. WHAT DOES HORRORDUST HAVE#you cant come up with terrible for themselves and eachother poker and put anybody but the trio in it#maybe nightmare's the dealer but tell me a single other utmv character that would play this???? NONE I SAY NONE!!!!!!#mtt are great bc their fanon nicer versions are so popular that i dont feel like shit when i either make them nice or evil#and eitherway canon or fanon their interactions are so much more interesting than anyone elses :333#the stars aligned three days ago and created three characters so perfect with eachother yet so terrible for eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#bad sanses#tricule hc
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i dont like my highschool friends
#r is the only good one#R IF U SEE THIS I <3 U /P#h is just. ugh.#hes older than me but hes like a motherfuckong toddler I HAVE TO TEACH HIM HOW TO SPELL#HOW TO DO EVERYTHING#UGHHH#AND HE KNOWS IM ARO BUT HE WONT FUCKING STOP TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME#AND SO DOES V LIKE HE KNOWS BUT HE HELPS H DO IT UGHHHH#I FUCKING HATE THISSSS#3/4 OF MY TIME IS SCHOOL AND THAT TIME IS DEDICATED TO HELPING THESE DUMBASSES BECAUSE IM THE SMART KID OR SOME SHIT#WTF DO YOU MEAN U CANT SPELL COUNTRY YOU'RE 14
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WHY IS THERE SCHOOL TOMORROW WHAT THE FUCK.
#spydr yapping#school is killing me#im ready for summer break (the school year just started)#UGHHH#i hate everything
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i have a headache
#i've been stuck scrolling instagram for the past few days#i don't even like being on there#modern ig is so overstimulating everything is either a reel or a reel in disguise or an image post that inexplicably has audio#i kept making myself go on there because i wanted to find a way to make art friends or a community or w/e#and i thought if i had more of a presence and interacted more i'd eventually get people to like. talk to me and comment stuff ig. idk#but ughhhh#i don't think insta is a good platform for that cause it's either pictures with a short caption or the worst media format known to man#like. idk i wanted to find and follow and be friends with and be Cool Artists (don't ask me to define that)#but no artist on instagram is a Cool Artist because there's no goddamn text on there#like if it makes sense i wanna find people who talk About art as well#but not in an art Discourse way#which is another thing. even if instagram had more Talking it would still be shit because the mainstream 'art community' is insufferable#art tiktok is that on steroids#and instagram is is bootleg tiktok#the same five discourse topics jokes memes advice whatever the only difference is now they're circlejerking about ai too#i wanna be Casual and Spontaenous and Mysterious and shit but IG's layout makes me feel like i can't just post whatever#i feel this pressure to give my posts all the same format and add tags and do this and do that and have good Branding or w/e#and it's just ughhh why can't I be a famous enigma (<- doesn't make or share anything)#even on tumblr the pressure is the same#and at the same time i hate looking back on my art accounts (both ig and here) because it just. doesn't align with what i wanna do#like my attempts at categorising and tagging and being consistent#it's just so. yuck#i want to have a Good Brand but i also want to be 'real' but then i look back at my disjointed messy past work and i cringe#i think i need to block my irls from my art accounts bc i feel super embarassed trying to do any typical Get Noticed on Social Media thing#cause it feels embarassing being seen doing shit that's ''influencer-y'' (idk what to call it)#cause it feels out of character to how i actually am in real life#but also why i do want to show my ''real'' character? I'm not cool#and that's another thing I've had these accounts for ages#looking at my past posts makes me fuckign cringe#I want to purge them or start over
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Not even a week into school and I already have an entire 7 page script to read for a debate, an entire project, two essays, 3 Tests tomorrow and a quiz the day after… (this isn’t even including daily homework)
WHY DOES LIFE HATE ME
#Duck update#Yayyy#i regret everything#Ughhh i hate school#But hey we get to make pancakes in chemistry sometimes this week#Guess it evens out (it doesn’t)#I’m already burnt out and it hasn’t even been a week yet#What is this#Oh well#i said I wouldn’t have a panic attack this year and I plan to stick to it#I… probably will break that promise#life just hates me lol#stress stress stress#it’s alr#i get to write for you guys soon enough#my precious therapy :3#love you guys ❤️
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Pros and Cons of being my favourite sibling
Pros: i will do anything you ask me and will buy you stuff and send you memes and make you art and I will literally die for you no joke
Cons: if you even hint that you don't wanna do something with/for me i WILL write your name on my suicide note
#i hate how because she's the only not horrible family member i have everything she does effects me emptionally to a degree that when-#she said no to me after i asked her to talk with my grandma cuz she wasnt mad at her I actually got so mad at her and like felt like i was-#about to blow up on her so i had to leave the room (that we share) and Im avoiding her rn like a baby#this is so dumb it aint even a fight she just expressed that she didnt wanna talk instead of me..#I get into nasty fights with my other siblings and then talk to them fine the next few hours because im used to them being horrible#just because she's nice doesnt mean have to put her in such a high standard. that she ALWAYS has to be nice.#and yet i cant help me getting upset. I cant control my feeling lmfao#ughhh#vent#the dib speakz!!#agony#suicide tw
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I need to get normaler STAT
#Beetlejuice is like an amalgamation of everything I hate about men but I love him so much I don't get it I think I just have issues probably#Yeah#I hate creepy old guys and can't stand being around people that smell bad or smoke or drink#Why are all of my favorite characters assholes... man.#Arghdhrfhhahrjfhdhshfhwhdhdha biting him biting him kicking him like a cat toy grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr#He's so so so so so so so sososososossosososossoooooo silly#I need to be lobotomized#There are two wolves inside me one says I need to be more insane the other says I need to become normal#The wolves are in a toxic relationship#It's very late I'm probably going to regret posting this but I just needed to ramble ughhh I wish I didn't feel so bad for being cringe
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