#I was sooo stressed trying to be careful in the airport too

[downfallofi]

The first time I've travelled states since 2019, the first time Ive seen friends since longer than that. Ive held off from even going on trips all during the pandemic because I was so scared I would bring Covid home and infect immune compromised kids. And I finally work the nerve up to do it. And I get hit with Covid because someone in our party was already infected when I got there. Now I'm somewhere between days two and five and this shit sucks.

[lixie-phoria]

bff!stray kids and the little things they do when they have a crush on you

pairing : stray kids x reader | genre : fluff | warnings : none

🧿 ┆ CHAN - he stalks your pinterest saves to see your latest interests

He doesn't do it in a creepy way, i promise. he just likes to go through your latest pins and find out what you're into and surprise you without you even having to tell him!! He spoils you so much :(( You recently saved a really cute fit inspo? He's going to order it for you. Saw you saving pins of pretty bouquets? You'll find the very same one in his hands as he picks you up from work. This man is such a sweetheart you're so lucky.

🧿┆ LEE KNOW - purposely forget his hoodies and tshirts at your place so you can wear them

Is it really an accident that he forgot his hoodie at your house for the fifteenth time even after you reminded him multiple times? Of course! Or at least that's what minho insists. He's never going to tell you that he intentionally forgets them at your place because it gives you an excuse to wear it. he will never tell you how delusional he is and how much it plays into his fantasies of you dating him when he sees you in his clothes. He's such a simp lmao please.

🧿 ┆ CHANGBIN - will buy anything that reminds him of you

He misses you so much on tour and can't stop thinking about you :(( even the smallest objects remind him of you. He goes to a beach in Australia and sees a shell whose colors match those of a really pretty dress you have? He's going to take it without a second thought, somehow managing to make a hole in it and looping an expensive chain through it because the shell may be simple but he loves spoiling you rotten with expensive gifts too. He sees a potted plant in some foreign country that looks somewhat like the one you have at your place? Of course he's going to buy it. Please don't ask him how he plans on getting it through airport security. He's too busy thinking about you to worry about all that!!

🧿 ┆ HYUNJIN - he lets only you paint his nails and do his make up!!

He's going to be sooo whiny as you drag him into the cosmetics store at the mall but anyone can see the stars in his eyes as he looks at your excited smile. The second you're in he's going to be all over the place, picking out items he thinks would go well with your features. And if you want to try out any of the products, he's offering himself before you can even pick the samples. Loves to have you paint his nails, try a new shade of lip gloss on his skin or the texture of a new blush. he will do anything for you. he does not care about the looks he gets as he proudly walks around with all 10 finger nails painted in mismatched colours.

🧿 ┆ HAN - He always let's you have the first bite of food

lover boy is so whipped i cannot stress enough. whenever you guys go on dates hang out, he purposely orders a starter he knows you like and insists you have the first bite. always. if you accompany him on set he remembers to carry snacks so he can share them with you and fights any member who tries to take some hahaha

🧿 ┆ FELIX - always takes your input when getting ready for a comeback

you see all those funky hair colors felix sports every comeback and pulls them off every single time? yeah thats all you. never once has he failed to ask you what colors you'd like to see him in. and he won't listen to you complain about how it might potentially damage his hair. you want to see him in blue? he's already texting his hair stylist l. you've been into purple lately? he's already discussing the different shades with you. it's so sweet and he loves it when he can finally show you the new look.

🧿 ┆ SEUNGMIN - "accidentally" takes your stuff so it gives him an excuse to drop it off at your place and see you

seungmin being upfront about his crush on you? of course not. he's such a baby lmao will never have the courage to tell you but he also doesn't know how to explain why he always wants to be around you. so he comes up with a (supposedly) fool proof plan!! he takes your stuff whenever you guys hang out so it gives him an excuse to come over and give it you later on. if you're ever missing a clutch clip or your lip gloss best believe he has it. and watch him laugh it off as an accident. he gets so embarrassed when the other 7 see right through him hahaha but he'd rather be teased because its worth seeing you

🧿 ┆ JEONGIN - aggressively confesses his love for you

he's so adorable. he isn't really sure how to navigate your relationship because its all so new to him but he also wants you to know that he genuinely likes you. so he sticks to saying i-love-you's at the most random times and so aggressively it nearly scared you the first time. so many of his good morning texts read along the lines of good morning i hope you're up or i will splash water down your pretty face. don't forget breakfast because it's important for you. if you forget it, i will fight you. i love you 😠😠😠😠 but once you catch on it's obviously got you giggling and blushing because it's such a jeongin thing to do and honestly how could you not fall for him when he's just awkwardly trying to confess how much he's in love with you

tags : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @jiisungllvr (send an ask to be added/removed)

©lixie-phoria, 2023

[ceruleanchillin]

Honeymoon Headcanons: Mayans Edition

Characters: Angel, Coco, EZ x F!Reader

Miami (Angel)

It wasn’t difficult at all to decide where the two of you would take your honeymoon. When you weren’t gonna be naked, Angel wanted you in sundresses and bikinis. You wanted him in linen shirts, and to feel him up in a club. Couple that with you both wanting a tropical environment, and Miami it is.

Angel letting you handle the accommodations, because you seem to know more about what you wanna see/where you wanna go than he does. He only cares about a bed and shower for when he’s not taking you in the inappropriate places. He just hands over the cash, though he complains about his hurt wallet.

Angel hard as a rock when he sees your new name on your plane ticket.

The two of you nearly missing your flight because your husband needs to “show his wife he loves her”.

You babying him on the flight, because Angel has never flown anywhere before.

“Mami, it’s perfectly valid to feel like a flying toaster can’t safely get you anywhere but a casket. Which they can’t even put you in, because you’ll be everywhere!”

Cue you distracting him with kisses and dirty words in his ear, which gets you initiated into the Mile High Club

Barely making it into the cute little condo before the two of you are at it again, collapsing in the late hours to jet lag and mutual satisfaction.

Your first official day is spent dragging Angel around the humid streets. Knowing he stresses easily if you plan things too tightly, and wanting to wing it yourself. It’s surprising how well you to fit in, it almost feels like home.

Angel switching from being jealous, because your tiny cotton sundress is attracting more than just his attention, to him kissing all over your dewy skin because so much of it is visible.

You getting as jealous as Angel, because it seems like each place you drag him to has openly interested ladies. It’s the white linen shirt that he won’t fully button no matter how many times you try to make him.

Angel basking in the attention, and even playing it up to force you to be the one to initiate inappropriate public sex.

Smirking when you break after a woman pays for his (and unintentionally yours) order at a small cafe you stepped into and you snap and drag him to a hidden place.

“I only love you querida, mi alma.” he whispers in your ear when he bottoms out inside you.

You two are a beautiful couple. Photogenic as all hell. Alone, neither of you have a problem attracting interest, but together, you make people want to be seen around you. That’s why you have no problem club hopping to all the exclusive places.

Angel taking photos and videos of you dancing because he’s so enthralled. He can’t wait to show your kids one day when they ask why he fell for you, and he explains how full of life you are.

Getting enough liquor in Angel to get him dance somewhere away from the club, especially since he (lies) and says he can’t.

You and Angel competing to see who can get the most people to buy your drinks + the two of you losing track because you both get drunk.

A quickie in the coatroom is the prize, Angel fucking you to the hypnotic beat.

Spending a few hours apart the following day, only to still keep texting and FaceTiming each other until you met up, touch starved, at a small restaurant.

Deciding to spend the rest of the day at your Airbnb laid up under each other after Angel scores weed. Teasing Angel about his monetary complaints when you spend all night enjoying the small backyard pool.

Angel thanking God for getting an adventure loving woman as his soulmate when you wake him up the next afternoon to inform him you rented jet skis for the day.

You being impressed when, while jet skiing, Angel silver tongues your way into an invitation to a nearby yacht party out of the host.

FaceTiming Gilly to make him jealous that you two are doing Hookah and drinking Casamigos in a hot tub.

Angel ramping up the mockery when EZ and Coco appear on screen, attracted by Gilly’s whining. Everyone looking overworked and salty, while you and Angel are living your best non-sober lives.

Slipping away from the party to one of the rooms on the boat, because once again, you and Angel never know when to stop teasing each other before it ends up in sex.

Feeling bold enough to suggest that since Angel’s been documenting so much of the trip, that maybe he should film this too.

The aftermath being a surprisingly sweet series of kisses and confessions where the two of you express how thankful you are to have found each other. How you can’t wait to build a forever together.

Marfa + Roswell (Coco)

No one knew how you got Coco to agree to travel for your honeymoon until you finally revealed where you were going. Splitting a week between Marfa and Roswell.

You and Coco are that “weird” conspiracy, incense, and weed couple, so it makes sense.

Giving Coco an edible before you leave, because like Angel, he doesn’t fuck with air travel like that.

“They got me with that bullshit in the military, but that was out of my control. You askin’ a lot right now, you’re lucky you’re cute mujer.”

Coco getting progressively handsy during the flight as the edible hits. Eventually, you stop fake-fighting his neck kisses and forward touches.

Also like Angel in that he’s unafraid to become a member of the Mile High Club.

The ride from the El Paso airport, to the car rental place, to Marfa takes far longer than Coco would like.

He’s used to long stretches of trip on his bike, and when you notice him becoming antsy, you distract him with interesting facts about Marfa.

The entire time, Coco can’t help but think that you’re the perfect road trip co-pilot, only to realize he actually meant his life in general now.

Coco proud as hell when you fall in love with his accommodations choice like he did. The colorful airstream trailers of the El Cosmico hotel are the two of you through and through.

You both trying to be responsible adults and refresh after travel, but continuing to get lost in each other during the whole process.

Shower sex -> Making out while drying off -> Touching while searching through your bags for something to wear -> bed sex -> repeat

Looking thoroughly mauled when you finally manage to get Coco off of you and into the car in search of food the next afternoon.

Coco being happy you can’t cover up due to the heat, while you wonder what superpower he and his boys have that let them wear flannel and long sleeves in the heat.

Dragging Coco to a cute cafe you saw on instagram, and him knowing, by the hipster design of it, that his wallet is about to cry.

Stealing food from his plate, and laughing at him sucking his teeth and whining when he catches you.

“You’re stuck with me forever now Johnny sooo….get used to this.”

“Small price to pay for that I guess.”

Finding small shops to go to and being Siamese twins in every one. Coco showing he has good taste in a lot of things one might think he wouldn’t. Him opening up his wallet at everything you 'ooh' and 'aww' at. He can’t help it, he likes you happy, and your kisses and adoring looks are addicting.

For almost everything you get, Letty gets something too. Neither of you wants that tantrum when you get back.

You fighting yourself to avoid the art supply store, and Coco not having it.

“I have so many supplies already, it’s an addiction at this point.”

“So? Get some more. It’s our week, we shouldn’t stress about shit.”

Coco bragging on your talents and successes to the art shop cashier when you checkout.

“Cocoooo.” you murmur hiding your face in his shoulder, arms around his waist.

“Don’t be shy ma, you’re fucking amazing. I love your skills.”

Cue the cashier swooning at the two of you.

Finding unique liquor stores and getting tipsy on samples. It becomes twice as fun when locals, and other tourists alike, start discussing the Marfa lights with you, and you and Coco impress everyone with your ideas.

Being invited to a bonfire smoke session with the other El Cosmico guests when you get back.

Sketching Coco by the firelight, because he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in that moment, and now he’s officially yours.

The sex being on another level of intimate that night, because all day you and Coco have been engaging in your respective love languages, and it culminates in mutual need for each other.

The drive to Roswell being more tolerable for Coco, but he still misses his bike. Your excitement about AlienFest is so palpable however, he quickly forgets.

Your hotel being more conventional, but the people you meet making up for it. Finally, you and Coco aren’t the weirdest ones in the room.

Taking the time before the festival starts to check in with friends and family and accumulate odd souvenirs for them. You believe Coco is intentionally getting them stuff they’ll hate.

“Taza won’t wear that baby, he has better taste in jewelry than UFO earrings.”

“Ok, but can he bitch about us not getting him anything? Plus, you can guilt anyone into anything.”

Doing cute edible pastries at the festival.

“You know Aliens are demons right? Jack Parsons and L. Ron Hubbard were doing summoning rituals in the Mojave in 1946, and Roswell was the following year.”

“Word?…Shit. Tell me that again when we’re not rolling. I wanna read about it………you’re so smart mami.”

Coco realizing between every snack stop, every dance he shares with you, every trinket you pick up, and every little conspiracy tidbit you share, that you’re his wife now. That the peace he’s been feeling all week, that he thought he’d never have, is going to be his new normal.

New Orleans (EZ)

You and EZ both enjoy engaging with history and culture, and felt that your honeymoon should be built off of your shared interests. During your meticulous wedding planning, it was decided New Orleans would be the honeymoon destination. It didn’t hurt that you missed your southern roots too, even if you weren’t from New Orleans.

Traveling with EZ is a dream considering you’re both pretty organized, together people. He’s not afraid of flying, but you’re always a little nervous.

EZ being Best Husband™️ and soothing even the most minor of your stresses by turning your attention to the excitement of your trip and your new relationship status.

Teasing EZ in-flight won’t get you Mile High Club initiated, because he finds it much more entertaining to punish you by letting you work the both of you up, and making you stay that way for the duration of the flight. He’s got enough will power to suffer through it, because your soft whines make it worth it.

The airbnb is everything it was promised to be, and you’d appreciate that later, but all you can think of is your husband when you step through the door. That’s the other half of why EZ likes to leave you waiting. Your aggression and exclusive desire for him gets, and keeps, him hard.

It rains the following day, which is just as well, because neither of you are quite ready to stop physically expressing your love for each other. The day consists of ordering food, falling out of your clothes and onto each other, separating to read, falling back on each other, and quick naps.

Angel sending mocking texts in your Reyes group about how you’re trying to turn his brother bamma like you, only to stop when you threaten him with no souvenirs.

EZ and you taking responsibility for your own tour because let’s face it, you both know exactly what you want to see, and can plan a more satisfying tour for the both of you. You take turns deciding where to go next.

When it’s his turn, EZ picks an art museum, and can’t quit smiling about it. You think it’s because he picked a place he really wanted to go to.

“Babe, I have a surprise for you.”

“What?” your excitement always makes EZ’s heart race with his own.

He hands you the guide brochure he picked up at the door, folded to the section he wants you to look at.

“Faith Ringgold exhibit?!”

He hums and nods, grunting when you knock into him with a hug.

“Thank you for thinking of me. I love you.” you look up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears and he just kisses you, afraid he’ll cry if he says anything.

The two of you avoid the tourist trap spots for lunch and find a cute family owned cafe. You order for the both of you based on what you know about southern cuisine and both of your tastes.

You love watching EZ fall in love with the food as he keeps asking “Can you make this?” about everything he eats.

The two of you walking through the Garden District in the evening. Hands swinging between you with no plans but to admire the beautiful homes and foliage.

EZ noting how awestruck you are, and you describing what you love about the historic, towering homes.

He catches that when you describe what your dream home in the area would be, he and your future children are mentioned frequently, and it makes butterflies dance in his stomach. He can picture your family in the yards around him.

The two of you almost make it back to your Airbnb, but give into your baser urges after all the domestic conversation. EZ pulls you into an alley for a quickie, the two of you fighting to silence the other’s vocal expression.

You teasing EZ after that he’s more like his brother than he thinks. Him teasing back the two of you would’ve been caught and arrested if he was like Angel.

The following day is relaxed and less planned. The both of you getting thoughtful gifts for each member of your family, blood and otherwise. EZ scores major points for the gifts he suggests for your mom and dad, and you kind of want to jump him again.

EZ is glad you’re impressed, but it’s nothing to him. It all comes naturally because he loves you so much, and refuses to be anything other than the husband he knows you deserve.

AN:

I didn’t want to add this, cuz I wanted to end on a sweet note, but you just know Angel would accidentally send that vid to one of his boys.

Personally, I lose it for shit like this. Anything domestic in writings is my jam, so I decided to make these headcanons.

- Fun fact: Jet Ski is kind of like Bandaid in that it’s become the generic term for “personal water vehicles”, but it’s actually a specific brand’s name for their PWVs. I learned this while writing this enjoy💀.

[ironmansuuucks]

Home

dewey finn x fem reader

heyyooo, so imma do a little 3 part (?) dewey finn x reader series here about bringing Dewey home to meet family! it’s gonna be fluffy, a little angsty and majority of it will be based on my actual life and family, because they are something else lmao.. let me know if you enjoy! (also! I’m still working on your guys requests!

I got inspired for this from @texasblues because I honestly loved your fic so so so much and wanted to do my own little twist💜

warnings: fluff? the tiniest bit of angst?

words: 1600

Dewey chuckled when you pulled the covers over your head to block the sunlight and groaned. “Baby come on, it’ll be fun!” He chimed, his thick, sleepy morning voice was enough to send shivers down your spine. You peeled the cover off to reveal only your eyes, raising your brows at him. “You don’t know my parents” you matter of factly stated.

His arm snaked around your waist and pulled you on top of his chest. He was so warm. “Yeah but it would be good for you to go home for some time...” his hand moved up and brushed the hair away from your face. You rested your chin on his chest, looking up into his eyes and his sticky morning face, then up to that birds nest he called hair. “Home is wherever I’m with you” you smirked, reaching up to ruffle his brown curls, eliciting a little laugh from your sweet rockstar. His hand rubbed up and down your back soothingly and you could feel the way he chuckled below you. It was nice.

“No... going home home is different, and I know you miss it” he lifted an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirked up. “I’ll think about it... it’s a long journey Dew..” you bit the inside of your lip. You did want to go home.. but home was exceptionally different from life here.

“Yeah but we can have so much fun on the plane! We can play the switch, we can watch movies.. it’d be awesome!” Dewey was all excited, you could here it in his voice. “And we can go in August, when the schools are off and I have summer vacation, and you have tons of holidays left to take!” He exclaimed, trying to get his point across to you. You smiled at his enthusiasm as you rested your head in your hand. Dewey’s hand came up and ran his fingers through your hair as he smiled at you.

“Dew... life over there is totally different from life here.. and the people are different, different humour, different accent..” you huffed out an amused breathe thinking about him trying to understand everyone.

“If they’re anything like you then I’m gonna love them” he chuckled as he rolled his eyes at you still trying to make up excuses.

“And you can show me all around, your school, places you used to go... it would be awesome! And I’d get to meet that family you always talk about” he moved to rest his hands under his head, relaxing.

“If I go home then 80% of the time will be spent with my family you know” you chuckled. You were super close with your family. And some size family it was. They meant everything to you, and you missed them so much.. but they were certainly an acquired taste.

You grinned at the thought of Dewey getting to meet them all. If he loved your humour, then he would certainly love theirs. You could show him the beach, and all the places you grew up and take him to all of your favourite places. Maybe it would be fun?

Dewey watched as your face morphed into a grin, and he knew what that meant. “Yeah?” He beamed.

“Okay yeah” you smiled, biting your lip. “Hell yeah! Now, stop biting your lip and start biting mine!” He flirted, rolling you over so he way laying on top of you, making you laugh. You pulled his head down to yours, laying a soft yet needy kiss in his lips. “Ok rockstar.. but your in for a shock let me tell you... my accent has severely dulled the past two years and it’ll kick back in as soon as the plane lands on the ground.. and it doesn’t sound like it does on the tv” you warned.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll be fine... plus, it’ll be kinda cool to see where the Young brothers were born.. OOO and to see the Loch Ness monster! and I gotta see a highland cow when I’m there or I’ll probably die...”

You rolled your eyes, this was gonna be fun...

 * * * * * *

 “Dewey… just pack the jacket” you sighed. Packing with him was hard. Dewey couldn’t get it into his head that he wasn’t going upstate to sunshine and shorts. Scotland was cold, even in august.

“Honey, I do not need a jacket I’ll be fine!” he (attempted) to fold his Def Leppard t-shirt, placing it in the suitcase sat in front of him.

You breathed in deeply, your eyes shutting, teeth gritted, trying to remain calm. This was all last minute. You and Dewey left for Scotland tomorrow, and had only booked it last month. It was all a surprise from your amazing rockstar, and you cried so many happy tears, but right now… you felt like the most stressed person on the planet.

Your eyes remained closed. “Dewey… pack the fucking jacket.. it’s going to be 22c max…” our hands were gripping the edge of the suitcase, remaining in control. Dewey’s eyes wandered over to you, and his eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed. “okay.. okay” he looked from side to side, confused to why you were to stressed.

You sighed again, aggressively packing the rest of your clothes. His eyes kept wandering over to yours, until he had finished packing his t shirts.

“hey…” he walked around to you, taking your hand in his and pulling you to face him. “hey.. what’s wrong baby? this is supposed to be fun? Not stressful…” his eyes searched your face worriedly. Your eyes met his and you bit your lip as you looked into those caring, bright eyes. His thumbs rubbed the back of your hands soothingly.

You spoke hesitantly. “well.. this is the first time you’ll be meeting my family… and I want you to love them… what if you hate them? or hate home?...” you started rambling… “and we leave tomorrow… at 8AM… and you don’t get that its going to be freezing, and I just miss my family so much…”

“hey, hey, hey slow down baby” he cut you off as you caught your breath a little. “its going to be fine… you’re gonna be back with them in no time.. and I’m going to love it… and them.. I promise…” he looked down at you, smiling. You smiled back a little.. everything would be fine…

“and don’t worry… the damn jacket is in the case” he chuckled, pulling you into him and kissing your forehead.

Your family meant everything to you.. and you loved every bone in Dewey’s body.. and you truly hoped they would too… but you were worried that if you visited home… you might never want to go back to your life in New York with Dewey…

 * * * * * *

 Your anxiety didn’t stop there. The entire way to the airport, security, flying – it was all making you feel a little off. But your sweet Dewey was there to keep you from drowning in your own wicked head.

Dewey Finn was easily excitable, bouncy and he couldn’t sit still. Keeping such a ball of energy in a small confined space for almost 8 hours was a challenge.

He would bring his hand up to his face as if he was talking into a walkie talkie; “crshhh.. this is your captain speaking… this plane is indeed going to crash unless my super hot girlfriend shows me her-“ you cut him off giggling.

“Dewey! People can hear you” you hit his chest lightly a little. He giggled, putting his lips close to your ear, “what, you don’t wanna join the mile high club with me?”. He said it so dark, and it made you excited. “you wish… get lost you dork” you scoffed, looking out at the rolling clouds, your stomach doing a little flip.

You had gotten lost in the book you had brought with you, Dewey was humming to himself, his fingers dancing on your thigh, tapping to the beat of the song in his head, you always found it soothing.. but apparently not everyone did…

“hey pal, knock off the damn humming will ya?” the grumpy old man grumbled from the seat behind Dewey. The smile that grew on Dewey’s face was comedic, the edges of his lips curling up like a cartoon. His eyes widened before moving to look at you, and yours at his, when he suddenly burst out laughing.

Your eyes grew at him laughing, audibly so they guy behind could hear him. You gave Dewey a stern look, trying not to laugh too much at his antics, and brought your hand up to lightly pinch his cheek. He quietened down a little, grinning at you. He was like a little kid.

He brought his head closer to yours, “who took a dump in his coco pops?” he chuckled, making you smile and roll your eyes. Only five hours left. Reaching into your travel bag you reached for the Nintendo switch.

“fancy getting beat at mario kart?” you teased, hopefully occupying him for an hour or so. “pfft you wish… you know I’m the world best at mario kart babe…but maybe I’ll let you win a round” he winked at you as he took the blue controller.

Your eyes glanced over at Dewey mid game.. you admired his little concentrated face; his nose slightly scrunched, eyebrows furrowed, his tongue peeking out and resting at the side of his top lip, and his floppy hair covering his eye the slightest bit before his fore arm came up and moved it from his face.

You loved him so much… and you didn’t know what you would do without him… dewould be okay.. it was gonna be fine…

“sooo, is someone going to play bagpipes for us when we step off the plane?” he chirped, you rolled your eyes. Its gonna be a long three weeks…

tags:  @thewolfisapartofmysoul​ @texasblues​ @paxenera​​ @heknowshisherbs​​ @missihart23​​ @geminiacally​​ @go-commander-kim​​ @gegehaddock​​ @baby-beej​   @hoodoo12​​ @large-unit​​ ​ @bugdrinkss​​ @ssheinaa​​ @demonwifey​​

[beecherdrysdale]

Hehe ya I’m not the biggest fan but if I get really hyped up it’s kinda fun. Plus I did t really feel like doing leg day so I rescheduled that for tmr!!

Hot guy alert- everybody look!! Good tactic brigid lol. Got us in to help distract. We love you!! We would be so chaotic. Awww yes we love some team hand holding but acting like it isn’t happening. I don’t think quinner can feel his hand after this meet. Lol I’m sorry, but good thing imma make it up to you;) a hot makeout comin your ways lmao. Brigids busy doin other stuff w dyl and Jamie 😏😉. Oo thank you for the tip!! I didn’t know that it got hot during swim meets. I usually wear tanks or shirts underneath lol. I’m always to afraid to wear without. Hehe Dylan’s face in my hoodie and he’s like “I can’t look, did she win, is she swimming, why are they blowing the whistle” I’m just there to reassure him it’s a good distraction so that I don’t get to nervous lol. Team trample is happening, we would all fall down and that would be bad.

Brigid the chips, I’m sorry they will just be happening constantly like Ryan and I held off for many hours but that’s all we can handle lol. Aww Dylan and Jamie taking care of you, I love that!!. I’ll make sure they buy you some squeezy applesauce and some for myself cuz I wanna try. Wait seriously , you like green bananas?.

Ooo that’s a cool jersey brigid!! You would probably start yelling at everybody during the game lol.

Haha me crying during my match is like the funniest thing. People always think that if you cry something hurts but nothing hurts I just saw the best people!! Kesh, I’m excited you are excited !! I hope you enjoy. Lmao I’d probably also fling my resistance band at Ryan hehe. Ya that driving test was awful but I passed sooo:))) I can’t wait for you to pass your test. Oh for sure I would start laughing if I made eye contact w you. I’d probably get a warning tho lol. I’m sorry every time I read Ryan getting hit by a ball and you dying of laughter I just lose it. It’s so funny. Like Jamie is like omg omg she’s out of breath, why is she laughing so hard. Hehe brigid I can just see you yelling at me and being mildly stressed.

Y’all I just wanna go to Coachella !! Wtf I need to go now w you kesh and the team lol. Yaaa Dylan’s feeling special atm, Jamie is literally just glaring at the two of you for 30 mins straight. Dylan has some under appreciated hair so you play w it. Hehe yes braden was just being nice and Quinners mad because he was too late lol . Yes shoulder buddies! Kesh is just having the most chill time w Kirby. She’s just enjoying the music. I knowwww Jamie coming up and wrapping his arms around your waist and putting his chin on your shoulder is 🥺🥺 and swaying omg this is to cute. The kissing under the fireworks is just amazing. I want that to happen. Oo yes matching Dutch braids would be so cute, I might add a ribbon to be braided in or something lol. Or get ones of those hair charms like beads, mini stars to braid in hehe. water is a must and sunscreen!!

Kesh I’ve read until Greece! I love it! I’m excited to reply 💗 some airport ideas coming your way.

Xo Lexi.

Anonymous said:

Ooo I just saw keshs post about Coachella and sports so imma add a bit,

First - hehe yes we are super hype, and yes I am glad to be anywhere w you !!

Hehe thank you, it was a hectic day lol.

Lmao um guys does anybody have an ice pack?

Hehe yes Dylan is handsy but i think Brigid is enjoying it ?!.

Hmmm maybe Ryan and Braden find some girls but I don’t think we can last that long without chirping hehe

- kesh I agree you do have the best shoulders in the sense that Kirby is 6’4 and broad lol. You lucky gal.

Ok yes to all the insta pics!!! Ok we are matching again and I love it 🥰

Kesh thank you for replying !! Imma write about Greece, sports, Coachella and the road trip tmr!!

lmao i love that. i can never push off my workouts bc i just have to do what my coach makes me lol. but anyways another long post

hehe yep, i’ll get all the other girls out of their zone by pointing out the hot guys in the stands who may or may not have come with me lol. and then you guys will just be so chaotic up there and you’re all squeezing each other’s hands so hard but not admitting it lmao. haha yeah i don’t think quinner can feel his hand but once he realizes you’re gonna make it up to him he doesn’t care😏 haha maybe i am busy later😏😉 don’t tell kesh tho lol. haha yes it gets really hot unless you’re wet and then you’re freezing. so then dyl’s using you’re hoodie and refusing to look and asking you what’s happening every 5 seconds, so then you have to keep reassuring him. but i could also see you messing with him and saying i’m doing really bad when i’m actually winning just to see his reaction lmao. haha team trample at the end and we all end up on the ground, i stg if my suit rips y’all are paying for it

lmao as soon as i’m done you and ryan are chirping me bc you’ve held off way too long. maybe i’ll make dyl and jamie make you shut up if you annoy me too much lmao. but yes dyl and jamie taking care of me and helping me get ready for my race🥺 haha you would probably end up having to go with them to get the applesauce so they don’t get lost lmao. yes, ik i’m a weirdo but i can’t stand mushy bananas, i only like them when they’re super firm and green

hehe thank you! i love my o’c jersey. haha yes i would be yelling sm and i would be cheering for the US. we’d have to see what the guys had to say about that lmao. don’t think dyl and jamie would appreciate it very much, but you got to do what you got to do

lmao yes everyone would be so confused, and you would just be like no i’m fine i’m just happy they’re here. haha i can just see you hitting ryan with your resistance band and he tries to come after you, so then we have to keep him away from you so you can finish your warm-ups lmao. haha yes honestly i’ll start laughing too if we make eye contact. wait you could get a warning from laughing? that’s bad but also kind of funny lmao. haha yes now i really want to see ryan get hit in the face with the ball just to see the chaos ensue. and jamie is just simultaneously trying to make me drink water bc i’m just choking and being like ummmm i think ryan might need an icepack. and he’s like what is wrong with brigid bc it should not have been that funny but he can’t worry about it too much bc he’s worried about ryan and he’s trying to find an icepack somewhere. haha yes i’ll just be yelling at you sorry

yessss we have to go to coachella with everyone now. hehe yes dyl is getting handsy and i’m enjoying it, but jamie is getting super jealous and i don’t even realize lol (i’m sorry jamie ily). oooh yes, i get to play with dyl’s hair while i’m sitting on his shoulders. honestly he has really nice hair. hehe yes quinner is jealous that you’re sitting on braden’s shoulders, but it’s only bc braden offerred first. but then you get on my shoulder and ryan and braden wander off to find some girls lol. and then kesh is just chilling with kirby, and i’ll admit that she does have the best shoulders bc kirby is so broad. omg i need this now, jamie just coming up behind me and we’re swaying together to the music🥺 and we would all get our kisses under the fireworks from our men. oooh yes charms to braid into our hair would look so cool, and we could have all the best matching insta pics together. and ofc we need sunscreen and water

i’m excited to see all your replies!

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

ii.xvi.

"Lee Soo-man, what are you doing here?" You were surprised that the head of SM stood at your doorstep. "May I can come inside?" He smiled and you make his way into the apartment. "And that's your newest?" He pinches your son's cheek and laughs happily. "Yes, that's Sunoh." You stroke your son's head and smile. "Oh, I remember how my boy was so small. They are sooo innocent in this age." He laughed happily again and the atmosphere relaxed now more. Meanwhile, Jaehyun has now noticed that there was a visit. "Lee Soo-man, what are you doing here?" He was frozen and bowed humbly. "I was in the area and once wanted to say hello. I haven’t met your son yet. He is lovely." "Mr. Lee, do you want a coffee or tea?" You ask him while you put Sunoh over your shoulder. "Yes, coffee would be great." The man took off his shoes and looked around the apartment. "It is very comfortable here, very familiar." He looked at the wall, which was full of photos with memories. "Yes Y/N did all these. It is important for her that everyone feels comfortable, she has put a lot of work into the apartment." Jaehyun stood behind his boss, nervously putting his hands in his pocket. "Where is your daughter?" He then asked and turned to Jaehyun. "She's taking her nap right now." He explained and in that moment, you put the coffee on the dining table. Lee Soo-man and Jaehyun sat down with you and you could see that Jaehyun was still tense. "I wanted to ask how it looks like. Can we take your daughter under contract?" He spooned the sugar into the coffee and looked up at you expectantly. He knew for a fact that you were the person who fought the most against it. "To be honest ..." Jaehyun laid his hands on the table and leaned closer to his boss. "We wanted to check the contract with our lawyer first, but now we have another legal problem." Jaehyun cleared his throat, for it was unpleasant to talk about his ex-girlfriend. "Suji sued her for quite a bit of money. I heard about it, and your manager told me." He laughed briefly and then took a sip of his coffee. Jaehyun looked at you a little bit panicked, but you were very calm. So much could not make you upset. "What if I take care of it." The man suddenly became quite serious. He put down his cup and looked deep into his eyes. "Why should you do this?" You were sceptical, you knew exactly that such people always demanded a favour in return. "See it as a giveaway for Miga." You didn’t like your daughter being treated like a commodity. That was all that bothered you about this business. "I don’t sell my daughter. We can handle it on our own." It almost insulted you that he thought you would sell your daughter so easily. You push your son closer to you, who was still over your shoulder and looking around. "You are really a lion mother." He laughed and turned to Jaehyun. "Such women are gold, you need to keep her as close as possible." You roll your eyes and snort. Just because he's the boss, you were not afraid of him. You don’t need to expect anything from him. "Why our daughter? Aren’t there any other children?" You still don’t understand why Lee Soo-man was so obsessed with Miga. Of course, she was special, but that's what every mother thought of her child. "In addition to her good genetics, we see a lot of potential in her. We just want to promote it." With a long sip he drank the coffee and stood up. "I'm not saying you have to make an immediate decision. I would like to invite your family to my chalet in Switzerland, and of course Jaehyun would off his schedule. And Taeyong, Lucas and Mark are also invited." You and Jaehyun also got up and followed him to the door. "I do not know ..." You were unsure, because you didn’t want to be bribed. “It's a personal invitation and has nothing to do with the whole thing here." Lee Soo-man put on his shoes and then offered his hand. "I would be very happy." He looked into your eyes and shook your hand. He patted Jaehyun on the shoulder and then left the apartment.

When the door closed, Jaehyun let out a deep breath. He was under pressure for the whole conversation. You put Sunoh in a cradle and sit down with your husband on the sofa. Cujo jumped up to you and put his head on your lap. You paw him behind the ears and look at Jaehyun. "Lee Soo-man has never invited me to Switzerland." Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Cujo in confusion. "Does he do that often?" You suddenly hear a squeak from your baby. Sunoh started to smile and tried to grab a small stuffed animal. It was so cute and you watch him for a while. "Yes, he invites his "favourites" there every year." Tell Jaehyun and you look back at him. Sometimes you lose yourself when you look at your baby. "For real?" You ask and your husband hums in approval. "Shall we go there?" That had to decide Jaehyun now. It could also be an advantage for his solo album, now that Suji hopefully soon will not be an issue anymore. "I mean, we're not traveling since a long time. It can be funny, Miga could learn to ski." The thought of his daughter on two skis was kind of cute and Jaehyun laughed because of it. "Hmm ... I haven’t been to Europe for a long time, and I miss the mountains. That could be really nice." You already imagined how you look at the snow in the warm Charlet, you imagine how Miga builds a snowman and how Jaehyun teaches her to ski. It was wonderful thoughts. "Y/N should we drive?" Jaehyun asked and put his hand on yours. "Yes." You were determined and smiled because of the idea of being in Switzerland soon.

Jaehyun had warned you that it could be stressful at the airport, but you couldn’t imagine how it really was. The fact that other idols were there with you didn’t make it any better. Fans, saesangs and more were also at the airport trying to get a picture. You had Sunoh clinging to your chest and Jaehyun had Miga firmly in his hand. Although many Securities were with, it was still getting tighter. There was a real thunderstorm from the cameras and Miga didn’t want to go any further as she was scared. She started crying and Jaehyun picked her up quickly. He wanted to get her away from the crowd as fast as possible. You also put your coat around your son, so that he is not disturbed by the flashes of the camera. "Daddy, I want home." Miga's face blushed and hundreds of tears rolled down her face. "It's all good, we made it soon." He hugs his daughter tightly and puts his hand over her head so that the camera flashes don’t blind her anymore. "How long will that take?" You were behind your husband and you are not trying to panic either. It was the first time you could feel how Jaehyun used to when he was traveling with NCT. "All we have to do is go to the passport control quickly. They can‘t go any further and things get quieter." Jaehyun tried to go faster, but it was getting tighter and tighter as a queue had formed in the passport control. Miga kept crying and sobbed into her father's shirt. You were glad that Sunoh slept. You had breastfed him extra before and most of the time his sleep was always very deep afterwards. And thank goodness it stayed that way. "Daddy." Miga's cry became heavier, as some tried to get closer to them. Jaehyun tried to hold her more in front of his chest, so that no one could take a picture of her. It took only a few seconds and you were behind the passport control and thus you had the worst done. It was not so easy for Miga. Although everything has become much calmer, she couldn’t stop crying. She was totally scared. You could understand it, because there were really many people around her. Jaehyun tried to give her a cookie, but she wanted not even this. That was when he was worried, because in the future he would have liked to take her to performances in other countries. But when it was so hard for her and it scared her so much, it was not a good idea. "Hey Miga." Mark came to her and squatted right in front of her. She stopped sobbing and looked at him expectantly while more tears ran down her red face. "We're all going to Switzerland now. Do you know what that means?" He smiled and patted her head. She shook her head and continued to look at him with her big eyes. "That we have a lot of snow, so we can build a snowman together, isn’t that great?" Mark smiled happily and held his hands up excitedly. Miga leaned slightly to her crush and started to giggle. "We can put a hat on him and as a nose we take a carrot." Mark was really good at it. Jaehyun and you watched him closely and you were fascinated how well he could handle the little girl. "This is funny." Miga was clearly not scared anymore and she looked in love again to Mark. "But if you promise, you really have to." Jaehyun crossed his arms and looked at his friend admonishingly. Mark nodded and took Miga on his lap. "Do not worry, we'll have a lot of fun."

It was the first flight for your children, and you were actually a bit scared that they would cry a lot at the start. But both have overcome it well and Miga was allowed to watch her favourite series during the flight. Sunoh was on your lap, taking turns eating and sleeping. After a couple of hours, you look at the clock and see that it was so far that you had to take the birth control pill. You pull the bag up to you while holding Sunoh with one hand. Your bag was not well organized, but you actually knew where your things were. But you couldn’t find the pack anywhere. "Jaehyun, I think I forgot the pill at home." You lean over Miga over to your husband and whisper it so softly that you hope that not even Miga heard it. "What? Do you mean the ...?" "Yes." You answer him quickly before he uttered something that others might hear. Or Miga. Lately, she was chatting with too many people. "And what does that mean?" Jaehyun looked at you with wide eyes. "Well we can’t ... you can’t stick your pen in my sharpener." Even if you use synonymous, you did not want Miga to hear it. "Seriously, sharpener?" Jaehyun laughed at your description and you roll your eyes. "Oh, it doesn’t matter. We're only there for a few days and we're sharing the room with the children anyway. We can probably live without it for a while." You put down the bag again and lean into the seat. "What? Are you serious now? We're in a nice chalet in Switzerland, with log fires and romantic mountain views and we can’t ... sharpen my pen?" Jaehyun looked at you strangely and you just shrug. You can still feel his eyes on you, and you knew it was driving him crazy. "We will came up with something." He then said and winked. You had to laugh, it was not an option for you.

Daddy Jaehyun Masterlist

[i-choose-liam]

Two’s Better Than One - King Liam x MC

Summary: Liam is more stressed than he's ever been before. A certain guest coming to the palace has prompted this anxiety in the Cordonian King. How will Liam fare against his special guest? 

Book: The Royal Heir 

Characters: King Liam, MC (Riley Spencer), Dani Spencer (OC), Hana Lee, Maxwell Beaumont, Drake Walker, other original characters. 

Rating: T 

Word count: 1k+

A/N: This is a short series about Riley’s family. If you read this, let me know if you like it. Reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks! 

Cordonia

The staff at the palace was rushing back and forth. “Yellow! Not pink! How do you get the two confused?!”, Liam’s assistant yelled at a staff-member. The unwanted linen was taken away in a cart, the sound of the wheels just a part of the entire hustle-bustle. Dani witnessed the scene in passing as she walked past the staff towards the nursery. One of Riley’s incompetent bodyguards, the hot one, was guarding the doors to the nursery. They gave her a nod. “Miss Spencer” She gave a mock salute and walked in as the doors were opened for her. The light from the windows was the first thing to catch her eye. Cordonia sure had a lot of sunshine. And said sunlight was making the couple standing in the middle of the room look like ethereal angels. Liam was talking to someone on the phone, but he perked up at once on seeing Dani. He hung up and walked over to give her a hug. “You made it”, he said, smiling. Dani hugged him back and kissed his cheek as they parted. “’course I did”, she said, “As if I would miss my niece’s first ever party” Riley spoke in that supercilious tone her voice took on when she was trying not to be condescending. “It’s a ‘royal luncheon’ in honour of Eleanor, not a party” Dani walked to her, saying, “Leave it to you to literally take the word party out of an actual party, Riles” Riley smirked, “Good to see you too, my evil twin” “You’re the evil twin” A gleeful gurgle came from the bundle in Riley’s arms. Dani got close enough to look at the cuteness-bomb her niece, Princess Eleanor of Cordonia, was. “Hiii, angelll”, Dani cooed. “You wanna hold her?”, Riley asked. Dani was still smiling down at little Eleanor. She said, “What do you think I flew all the way here for?” Riley quipped, handing over the baby to Dani, “The free booze?” She was already making kissy faces at her niece, holding her with utmost care. “No, no, no”, she said, “Aunt Dani came here for Eleanor. Didn’t I, sweetheart? My god, Riley, she’s sooo cute! I can’t believe she came out of you” Dani bounced Eleanor a little in her arms. She was doing her best to be careful, the baby was only three months old, after all. Eleanor fixed her dark, bright eyes on Dani’s face, smiling as if she enjoyed the bouncing. She gave another heart-melting gurgle, forming a tiny drool-bubble at the corner of her mouth. The bubble rose above her face, startling Eleanor. Her eyes went wide and she exclaimed “Wooh! Wooh!” as she stared at this strange anomaly near her face, shaking her fists and legs all the while.

“It’s just flight information. What is so- you know what? Meet me in my office. I’m coming down there in a minute”, Liam was saying on the phone. Dani exchanged a knowing look with her twin. She raised an eyebrow. Riley nodded. “Did you scare him?”, Dani asked.  Riley said, “I didn’t. He has been researching about them for almost a week” Liam walked to them then. He sounded frantic. “Dani, I hope you’re being taken care of well. If you need anything, I’ll be in my office. Don’t hesitate to ask for anything, okay?” Before she could reply, he was saying, “And I’ll see you as soon as I can, my love. I’ll be back” Both Dani and Riley stared at him in surprise as he kissed his daughter’s forehead, having clearly meant the words for her and not his wife. Liam strode away to the door, leaving Riley gaping after him, narrowing her eyes at his frame. As if realizing he had forgotten something, Liam turned around and walked to her. He was grinning. “Sorry”, he kissed her on the cheek, “Won’t happen again. I love you” “Uh-huh”, Riley replied. Dani bounced Eleanor in her arms again, taking in the look on her sister’s face. She smiled at Riley, “Poor guy” Riley just sighed. 

***

Maxwell was humming under his breath as they sat in the antechamber to Liam’s office. Hana was saying to Drake, “And you made sure to ask the chef that he only use halal meat and sustainably sourced seafood?” “Um…”, was Drake’s answer. Maxwell chimed in, “Relax, Hana. You’re still in-charge of everything else. Liam just asked Drake to supervise the prep for the American dishes” “I know that”, Hana said timidly, “I’m just making sure” She sighed, saying, “Sorry if I seemed to be meddling, Drake. I prefer discussing this stuff with Liam and Riley. But Riley is spending time with her sister and Eleanor. And Liam’s just been so preoccupied lately” “Speaking of…” Drake indicated the door to Liam’s office. The King walked towards them at a brisk pace, taking a seat across from Maxwell. “Thanks for waiting, guys”, Liam said, tugging at his cravat.

Before he could even catch his breath, Liam was talking again. “Maxwell, I hope you followed the instructions for the entertainment program”, he said. Maxwell nodded, remembering all the non-party-esque instructions he had had to follow. “Of course. Nothing too loud, no fireworks, no confetti. Nothing un-eco-friendly. And Celine Dion will be performing shortly after lunch” “Thank you. Drake, the food and alcohol?”, Liam turned to him. “Yep. I talked to the chef. She said this might be the first time we’re going to serve fried chicken for a luncheon at the palace. Vegetarian options are available in three different Asian cuisines. And I personally selected the single malt…” Liam shot up in his chair, surprising everyone in the room. “No, no, no. No whiskey. I specifically told you she hates whiskey. Vodka. Vodka and cocktails are what she will be served”, he said, face harried. Drake said slowly, “Okayy…” Liam turned to Hana next. He said in a pleading voice, “I know you’re the only one who would never disappoint me, Hana. How are the rest of the arrangements?” She assured him, “I have followed all your instructions to the letter, Liam. And I have done my fair share of research on Analyn Torres. I’m going to do a debriefing for the palace staff before the flight lands. Maxwell will be with you at the airport for the welcoming” “No, I need you with me at the airport. I mean, I need Maxwell and you there with me” Drake scoffed, “Gee, thanks, Liam” Liam tugged at his cravat again and walked to the coffee table. He poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher and emptied it in one go. Maxwell looked at Hana with meaning, who looked at Drake, quietly urging him to talk to the King. “You know”, Drake said to Liam, “I haven’t seen you this nervous ever before. You okay, man?” Liam didn’t answer. He flopped down into his seat again, closing his eyes and absently rubbing his forehead. Hana tried, “You have addressed an entire congregation of world leaders at the UN, and you didn’t sweat a drop. This can’t be more difficult than that, Liam” Liam replied, “I have to make a good first impression” Maxwell said, trying to lighten the situation, “You are the King of one of the wealthiest, coolest countries in Europe, Liam. And she’s what? A college professor?” Drake seemed to agree. “Maxwell’s right. I don’t see why you have to be so afraid of meeting your mother-in-law. She’s probably the opposite of Spencer. She’s probably like Dani, and not Riley” Liam mumbled, “The other one is” Maxwell was confused. “What?”, he asked. Liam sighed. “Riley told me her “Mom”, Razia Spencer, is the relaxed, carefree one like Dani. My other mother-in-law, Dr. Analyn Torres, is an activist and a tenured professor at Columbia University, who’s known for her scathing criticism of capitalism and monarchy. She made the High Chancellor of Auvernal cry during his first and last visit to the USA” The room was suddenly quiet enough to hear the ticking coming from the clock on the wall. Hana said nothing, looking sympathetic to Liam’s cause of concern, as if she had known these fun facts all along. Maxwell just stared at one face from another, not knowing what to say. Drake broke the silence. “Well, damn” 

***

Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean –

Analyn scrolled the webpage on her laptop. The plane lurched a bit, sudden turbulence rocking her in her seat. She stayed calm enough to finish reading the latest from the Cordonian Daily. She kept assuring herself she was not trying to gather ammunition to use against her son-in-law, but part of her felt guilty just the same. She had promised her wife she wouldn’t judge their son-in-law before she even met him, and she always kept her promises to Razia. “Baby?” Analyn closed her laptop and turned to her wife, who was just stirring from a four-hour nap. She smiled at the look of confusion on her wife’s face, something which amused her to no end even after thirty years of marriage. Razia’s short hair fell across her eyes, which she was rubbing sleepily. “Are we there yet?”, she asked, half asleep. “No, my love. Still an hour or so, I think” “Okay” Razia clutched Analyn’s arm and rested her head on her shoulder again. She said, with her eyes closed, “Did you finish reading about Liam?” “I-I wasn’t… um…” “It’s okay. I won’t tell Riley. Hehe” Analyn smiled and put an arm around her love, saying,  “Go to sleep, you. We’ll be in Cordonia soon” “I hope Eleanor’s got Riley’s eyes” “I quite like Liam’s eyes too” “He’s good-looking but, you know. Our baby’s our baby” “A stubborn 26-year old, yes” “Shush. We haven’t seen her in forever. We’re just going there to see her and our granddaughter, okay? No fighting” “Yes, darling” “Good. I sleep now. Good night” “It’s morning”, Analyn grinned. “Mhm” Her wife was asleep again in minutes. Putting away her laptop, and her inhibitions for the time being, Analyn wrapped her arm tighter around Razia and closed her eyes. She hoped to get some sleep before meeting her royal son-in-law for the first time. They had so much to talk about.

[argylemnwrites]

It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment - Chapter 13

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (Canon Divergent from Book 2, Chapter 15)

Word Count: ~4800

Rating: R (adult language - like too many f-bombs to count, here)

Summary: Drake tries to process his most recent decisions in regards to Liam and Riley, but some of the palace guests and residents make that difficult.

Author’s Note: So, yeah. I’m back at this story. I never intended to take so long between chapters, but this content here is basically the reason I didn’t just write Chapter 1 as a one shot, but instead turned it into an actual fic. Well, it turns out getting this all out of my head and into words was a real struggle. I could keep playing around and tweaking this indefinitely, but y’all have been patient enough, so without further ado, let’s get back into things here. We last left Riley leaving Cordonia to return to NYC while Drake stayed for Liam. Meanwhile, Olivia had just discovered that her aunt was involved in the recent attacks. This picks up that same afternoon.

This series diverges from TRR canon, where instead of waiting to discuss his relationship with Riley until their last night in NYC, leaving her a note while Liam is proposing to her, Drake tackles this topic as soon as possible after Tariq makes his statement and Riley’s name is cleared. To catch up on this series, you can find the previous chapters in my masterlist (link is located in my bio).

The Cordonian royal palace had a total of six different lounges, but only one of them was truly a private lounge, tucked away in a back corridor of the royal family’s residential wing. It had been the location of many nights of drinks and cards over the years. The group in attendance had varied, starting with Leo and Bertrand years and years ago. Tariq and Rashad both would drop in if they were in the capital. And more recently, Maxwell had hustled Drake out of more money than he cared to admit over hands of poker. But really, the only constants at these private card games had been Liam and Drake himself. It was strange to sit there now, alone in the middle of the afternoon. But Drake had wanted a drink and a smoke, and it was the only place in the palace where he would find both whiskey and an ashtray and be likely to be left alone.

Drake didn’t know how he felt, exactly. Not that he was ever great at putting his feelings into words, but today was even harder than usual. He didn’t really feel sad. More empty. Hollow.

He took the last drag from his cigarette as he kept rooting through the bar until he found the bottle of Yamazaki 18 tucked behind several other bottles of scotch and whiskey. If there was ever a day that warranted the good stuff, today was that day. Drake poured himself a double on the rocks before carrying his glass and the ashtray over to one of the armchairs by the fireplace. He knew he was wallowing, but he figured he’d earned it. Today just plain sucked.

The drive back from the airport had felt kind of covered in this sort of surreal haze. Had he really just let her get on a plane and leave? But what else could he have done? He had to stay. For Liam. And he couldn’t ask her just to hang around while he dealt with all that. It wasn’t fair to her. She, unlike him, actually had a life in New York. Asking her to abandon all of that just to sit around as some sort of fucking emotional comfort for him was selfish.

And truth be told, her being around would probably be counterproductive. It seemed like the three of them being in the same room was just a recipe for awkwardness. If Drake was actually going to be there for Liam, Riley’s presence would not make things easier. Even though Liam would never say anything, it was clear to anyone with half a brain that seeing him and Riley together was just adding stress. That he wasn’t coping with their relationship as much as he wanted to project that he was. And Drake certainly wasn’t going to stick around just to throw his happiness in Liam’s face. That was the opposite of his goal.

Still, watching her walk away from him at the airport had torn something deep inside him. It felt wrong, and he missed her already. God, he was a pathetic mess. He took a sip of his whiskey before lighting up another cigarette, but was interrupted by the sound of the door creaking open.

It was Leo. Of course he would be the only other person at the palace looking for a stiff drink well before cocktail hour. He strolled in, whistling to himself until he caught sight of Drake, his eyebrows shooting up comically.

“Hey, what are you still doing here? I thought your flight was today.” he asked after a moment, continuing over to the bar and grabbing the bottle of whiskey Drake had left out.

“Yeah, well… I decided to stick around for a while.”

Leo looked up from the bar, seeming to stare at Drake with those words. “You’re here by yourself?”

Drake swallowed roughly, tapping his cigarette against the ashtray’s edge. “Yeah, Liu flew out.”

The only sound was that of a glass being set on the bar and the splash of liquid as Leo poured himself a couple fingers of the whiskey. He took a sip of his drink before he stepped around the bar, raising his glass toward Drake is if in a toast. “I can’t say I’m not a little relieved.”

Drake took a drag off his cigarette, trying to gauge how pissed that should be making him. Leo didn’t always think things through fully, so he probably didn’t mean much by his statement. Still, for him to be the one to give him shit about sticking around? Well, it was pretty damn annoying.

After another sip of his drink, Leo chuckled as he continued, “I thought I was going to have to fly out and track you down again for a moment, there.”

Okay, maybe Leo did mean something. Drake bit his lip, trying to control his temper. He knew he was already on edge, and at the end of the day, Leo really wasn’t worth it. But his patience was tested as Leo continued, “I mean, I get it, the whole ‘following some girl halfway across the world’ thing, but I’m glad you finally came to your senses.”

“My senses?”

“Well, yeah. I know, chasing skirts is fun and all, but at the end of the day, you gotta admit that you belong here, right?”

Drake swallowed, trying to find his words before he spoke. He was trying to control his temper, he really was. But today had sucked enough without having to listen to Leo spout this bullshit.

“I mean, you did have me worried for a minute there. That pussy must be truly spectacular for both you and him to lose your minds over it.”

Drake heard a loud rushing in his ears and realized he as out of his chair and striding over to Leo before he could even think about what he was doing. Leo’s eyes widened and he maneuvered himself behind the bar, the fear evident in his eyes.

“Relax, man. I didn’t mean anything, really. I’m sure she’s a great woman. All I was trying to say is that I’m glad you’ll be here for him.”

“Right, because otherwise you might have to act like his actual brother, not just some drinking buddy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Leo. You’re not gonna stand there and act like you’ve been the brother he deserves, are you?”

Leo scowled, taking a long drink from his glass before he responded, “Just add it to the list. One more way that Leo is a fuckup who could never measure up to his perfect, saintly little brother.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” Drake groaned, rolling his eyes. “Nothing you can say will ever make me feel sorry for your irresponsible, hypocritical, entitled ass.”

“You have no idea what the pressure is like! You have never had to carry that weight, knowing you would never be able to-”

“I’m not talking about your abdication, Leo!” Drake yelled, smacking his hand down against the top of the bar. “That’s a whole other thing, and I don’t really want to get into right now. I’m talking about the fact that you have been a shitty brother to him since day one. And guess who always had to be there to pick up the slack?”

“Ah, yes. Drake Walker - a modern-day martyr. Your life has been sooo difficult, what with the living rent-free at a palace, drinking top shelf whiskey, going horseback riding on private trails whenever you wanted. Tell me again of the great woes and tribulations that were thrust upon you because of your burdensome friendship with His Majesty. I know he asked so much of you.”

“Classic Leo, deflect away any real criticism. Nothing is ever your fault, is it? Your father expected too much. The world just didn’t understand you. You weren’t cut out for this life. It’s your own fucking greatest hits album, and I’m so goddamn sick of it. But you know what? Play the fucking victim. Tell me again how fucking hard your privileged little life is. I honestly don’t give a shit. But I’m not gonna stand here and listen to your bullshit tales of how I was somehow the one who mistreated Liam.”

“Let’s see - you fucked the woman he loved and left him alone while terrorists tried to kill him. Am I leaving out any other recent developments?”

“Are we just gonna pretend that the first 28 years of his life didn’t happen? Because last time I checked, you haven’t exactly been some beacon of brotherly support. And rich of you to give me shit for choosing one woman to be with when your whole life has been nothing but a string of girls you claimed were different that all the ones who came before. First there was Charlize, then Fiona, or did Katrina come before her? Then Gigi, and that redhead whose name I never did find out, then-”

“Liam wasn’t in love with any of them. Besides, it’s not like you were some celibate monk all those years.”

“Yet someone I was able to find a way to sleep with women and be there for Liam. You on the other hand, were always just a bit too busy to find time to call and check in.”

“I love my brother, and I tried to be there for him. I’m sorry if my best isn’t up to the impeccable Walker standards,” Leo sneered, finishing his drink and slamming his glass down on the bar.

“You tried? Really? Leo, you took a fucking private jet and dragged me away from my life because you couldn’t handle his actual emotions! Then you dumped the crown on him without a backwards glance! I was always the one who had to clean up the mess!”

Leo opened his mouth, undoubtedly ready to defend himself, but the door to the lounge swung open, stopping the two men in their tracks. There was Liam, a scowl etched across his face, “I thought it might be best to inform you that approximately half the palace can hear you right now.”

Drake swallowed roughly, trying to control the anger rolling off him in waves. Fucking Leo. At least he had the decency to look guilty, dropping his eyes to the bartop and taking a deep breath before he spoke again.

“How much did you hear, Liam?”

“More than enough, Leo. Would you mind giving me a moment with Drake?”

“I should have known you’d take his side.”

“You and I will talk later. Right now, I need to speak to Drake.”

Leo stared at Liam for just a second before shaking his head and brushing past him on his way out the door. Drake waited until his footsteps trailed off before he spoke.

“If you had heard some of the shit he was saying, Liam, you-”

“I did hear ‘some of the shit’ he said. I, along with numerous palace employees, heard many things that both of you said. That really isn’t important at the moment. What I’m most interested in is your statement that he dragged you away from your life.”

“Liam, come on. Let’s not do this.”

“Do what, exactly? I am merely asking you to clarify the circumstances under which my brother-”

“Cut the diplomatic bullshit. If you’re going to fight with me, don’t talk to me like I’m some foreign dignitary.”

Liam just shook his head, “I’m not trying to fight with you, Drake. I didn’t even know you were still in the country, so imagine my surprise to hear you and my brother with raised voices, airing what seems to be years of personal grievances loudly enough for all the staff to hear. I’m simply trying to figure out what set both of you off. Leo isn’t usually one who angers like that, so it strikes me that this might be serious.”

“Oh, so you’re saying I'm the one who flies off the handle? The hot-headed commoner can’t control his temper, huh?”

Liam’s eyes widened and he took a beat before he continued, “What the hell is going on with you, Drake? I’m not even sure why you are here, but you seem determined to be furious with someone right now. Why don’t you just take a deep breath and try and-”

“Don’t you dare try to tell me to calm down. Don’t fucking placate me just to fucking keep the peace. I’m not some foreign diplomat, Liam. I’m supposed to be your friend. So don’t fucking treat me like we’re in the midst of a treaty negotiation.”

Liam sighed heavily. “Drake, all I want to do is figure out what is bothering you. I care about you, and I know whatever transpired between you and Leo-”

“Cut the bullshit; you came in here with a purpose. You had a question for me.”

“That’s not important right now. Hearing the way you are getting upset, seeing you here at all, I just-”

“Ask me your goddamn question, Liam.”

Liam hesitated for just a moment. He was clearly trying to gauge whether Drake was past the point of no return here, some part of Drake’s mind could sense that fact. But right now, his blood was pumping. His frustrations from the past few weeks had boiled over, and he was pissed. At Leo. At his life. At himself. And Liam must have realized that, because he decided to feed the beast, knowing there was no other way for Drake to have any sort of rational discussion if he didn’t do him the courtesy of granting him this. 

“What did you mean when you said Leo dragged you away from your life?”

“Did you really never figure out how I was able to afford a last minute flight to Cordonia when I was a broke university student?”

“Leo bought you your ticket back?”

Drake let out a harsh chuckle. “Try Leo fucking showed up on campus, took me in a towncar to a private airplane hanger, and put me on the fucking royal jet.”

A range of emotions rolled rapidly across Liam’s face. Confusion. Shock. Deliberation. But finally, a firm hardness settled into his eyes. Liam was in full-on negotiator mode. It wasn’t a role he had to play often, but when he did, it was always a sight to see. He was poised and calculated and sure. It was great to watch him corner people who mistook his kindness and compassion for weakness. Or at least, Drake had always reveled in it before, when it was directed at presumptuous foreign leaders or entitled and under-prepared nobles. He’d never felt it directed at him. 

“So would it be fair to say that it was out of obligation, not friendship, that you returned to Cordonia?”

“No, I came back because I cared about you and I was worried about you.”

“But you never would have returned if it wasn’t made clear to you that I was struggling to cope. You weren’t worried about me. Leo, the fucking flakiest man on the planet, was worried about me. You just served your role. Well, consider you obligation to me over.”

“Liam, stop it!” Drake tried to cut it, but Liam was far from finished, his words piercing through the room like a dagger.

 “I now understand what you meant about you being the one who had to clean up the mess. I was just some liability punted from Leo to you.”

“Come on, that’s not-.”

“No, you ‘come on,’ Drake. It was obviously in reference to me. In what ways was I such a burden to you? In what ways did I hold you back from your real life?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just-”

“How did you mean it Drake? Anyway I can fathom you meaning it undercuts years of friendship, does it not?”

“No, it doesn’t! This is a two-way street, Liam. I know for a fact that I’ve been a burden to you at some points, too.”

Liam paused, swallowing roughly before he continued. “I never saw it that way. I was grateful to be there for you, someone I consider to be family. You were never a burden to me.”

Drake sighed, “I’ve never been as optimistic as you. I’m sorry that my phrasing is harsh, but you know me. I’m not saying that your friendship is some drain on me. But it is a fact that I had to walk away from some things after that assassination attempt. And I don’t regret doing it; but yeah, I left some things behind.”

“Are you sure you don’t regret it? Because listening to you now, it certainly seems like you hold some resentment there, if it still affects you years after the fact.” 

Drake rubbed his face. How had this spiraled into some discussion of his decision years ago? “Look, you needed me then. Everything else kind of fell by the wayside.”

“I may have appreciated your return, but I certainly didn’t need you. You didn’t even realize that I was struggling. I would have been perfectly able of coping on my own.”

Liam paced away from Drake at that, trying to put some distance between them. Honestly, it somehow pissed Drake off even more. This was fucking revisionist history bullshit, that Leo was some intuitive brother, a saint who tracked down a comfort for Liam out of the goodness of his heart, not some responsibility-phobic asshole who booked it the second things get hard.

“Liam, I don’t know whether you needed me or not. But the fact is having me here was helpful, so I stayed. Not just because Leo asked, but because I cared more about your struggles than my own.”

“But I never asked you to do that! And now, years after the fact, you somehow still find a way to hold that against me.”

“What are you talking about?”

Liam spun around and stalked over towards Drake. He had a burning look in his eyes, but he kept clenching and unclenching his fists, as if he were trying to hold back this raging fire of anger and pain inside of him.

“I always looked past the fact that you were envious of me, understanding that some of the privileges of my station might appear to outweigh the burdens from an outside perspective. But now, hearing all of this, I just wonder if…” Liam trailed off, seeming to gain control of himself once again before he continued speaking. “Nevermind, it’s not important.”

“No, go on and say it.” The anger churning inside Drake wanted, no needed, to hear whatever thought Liam had apparently had decided was worth censoring from him, the one person he was never supposed to have to censor himself around.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“That’s fucking infuriating. You started the thought; you might as well finish it.”

Liam closed his eyes briefly before opening them and staring Drake down. “Fine. I wonder if you didn’t pursue Riley as a way to get back at me.”

Drake paused for a moment, trying to wrap his mind around the absolute insanity he was hearing. “What the fuck, Liam?”

“Maybe not consciously, but yes, since you clearly have some sort of resentment you hold against me, I just have to wonder if you maybe you went after her because you knew how much I liked her.”

“Went after her- God, do you really think so little of me that you think I toyed around with some poor woman just as part of some misguided revenge against you? I don’t even know how to respond to that, Liam. It’s so fucking insulting.”

Liam dropped his gaze at Drake’s statement, having the good grace at least to realize that statement was pretty horrible, but Drake felt more and more words coming up. It seemed like once he and Liam started down this road, he just couldn’t stop the thoughts from flowing out, unchecked and without pause.

“And not just to me. She is a grown ass adult who is perfectly capable of making up her own mind about her own relationships. It’s not like she just sat around, staring off into space, waiting for one of us to come along and convince her to be with us.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth, Drake. It isn’t fair and you know it. I have never treated her with anything but the utmost respect and hospitality.”

“That’s how you treat a distant relative who needs a place to stay for a few days. It’s not how you treat someone you want to marry!”

“Well, I don’t think open disdain is the best way to treat a romantic partner, either.”

Drake knew it was an earned dig. After all, he hadn’t exactly held back with his early cruelty towards Riley when speaking with Liam all those months ago. But to have his first impressions thrown in his face, when he had eaten so much crow and opened up to the woman in question so much? When Liam seemed to be stuck on his own first impressions of Riley? It just pissed him off all over again.

“I at least always treated her as an equal. I didn’t put her on some impossible pedestal she was bound to crash from.”

“I did everything in my power to show a woman that I was falling for her, that I adored her, and somehow that is a problem? I respected her roots and her background with kindness and gentleness. I tried to arrange ways to make her feel comfortable in a new country. I researched how to woo someone who had never been part of the nobility. I did everything I could think of to welcome her into this world. I courted her the best way I knew. In fact, I showed her far more affection than any of the other women here for me, even though it weighed on me that I wasn’t treating the rest of them fairly. Explain to me, Drake, how that degree of romance is somehow less desirable than sarcasm and condescension.” 

“You are so fucking blinded by your cloud of royal entitlement, and you can’t even fucking see it. ‘Here for you?’ News flash, Liam - Hana and Maxwell figured it that we were together. I’m pretty sure Bertrand did as well. Hell, my sister claims she knew something was going on between us, and she met Liu for all of an hour. Why is it that you are the only one who didn’t see that something was going on between us?”

Liam opened his mouth to retort, but Drake kept pushing, “I’ll tell you why - you like to think you’re this down to earth royal, but the fact of the matter is, you could never envision a woman willingly choosing to be with me when she had the option to be with you. And maybe I’ve been a shit friend to you in some ways, but guess what? That makes you a pretty shit friend, too. Because you’re willing to sit here and imply that my love is not real, just some petty revenge because you were more important than I could ever be. And you know what? It’s bullshit.” 

“Tell me, Drake - what is the appropriate response in your mind when you find out the woman you were pursuing was sleeping with your best friend and neither one of them saw fit to clue you in?”

“She tried to clue you in. Sure, she could have been more blunt, I guess. But did you really not notice that she stopped sneaking away to meet up for all of your little secret rendezvous? Or how about the fact that she stopped kissing you? But you kept after her. Because of course she was into you. What woman wouldn’t be? Who would choose to be with the lowly commoner instead of the handsome king?”

“Instead of playing the victim here, you could at least treat me with enough respect to acknowledge that you, while claiming to be my best friend, lied to me and let me look like a fool. You could have saved me a lot of pain and heartache. You made the conscious decision not to, and yet you have the gall to stand here and act like I was the one in the wrong.”

Drake glanced away, taking a swig from his glass, but unfortunately it was empty. He couldn’t even get a little distraction as Liam let him have it.

“You always see the worst in people Drake. You claim they see you as less than, that you are somehow treated as worse than others around you based simply on the fact that you were born a commoner. But you never take ownership of your own actions. You expect to be treated with respect when earning your respect is a monumental task that almost no one could ever hope to achieve. You write people off simply for having the misfortune of being born to a different social class, not acknowledging that they have as much control over their heritage as you do over yours. And you expect to be treated with dignity without offering any in return. 

“And I tolerated it, because I knew that there were some people that did treat you as second class, and because you always respected me enough to be one of the few people in my life who granted me complete honesty. But now, that is called into question, because you lied to me, repeatedly. And I have to wonder if you ever cared for me, how you could be so callous in the way you treated me in all of this?”

The question hung in the air, sitting there. It smothered the lounge in thick layer of suspense, neither man able to move forward and speak, yet at the same time unable to look away from each other. Drake felt equal parts guilty and damaged. It seemed like for every critique he’d had of Liam, Liam had his own to hurl right back. Neither one of them held the high ground here. They both were metaphorically beaten and bruised. Eventually, a sharp knock on the door broke the tense silence. After a few more seconds of staring at each other, Liam finally spoke.

“Come in.”

“Of fucking course,” thought Drake. Who else would be here but Olivia fucking Nevrakis? 

“Your assistant told me I might find you here, but he looked awfully uncomfortable about that fact. Did he send me to interrupt a lover’s quarrel?”

Drake refused to dignify her with a response, but the complete silence from both of them clearly spoke volumes. Olivia rolled her eyes slightly before she spoke again.

“As much as I would like to stay for the inevitable brawl and see who wins this, I have something to discuss with His Majesty that’s rather time sensitive. Liam, do you mind?”

Liam turned to face Olivia, but even in profile, Drake could sense him plastering on his diplomatic mask once again. “Of course, Lady Olivia. Let’s head to my office.”

And without a backward glance, he was off, falling in stride with Olivia as the two of them exited the room. As soon as the lounge door swung shut, Drake sank into the closest chair, letting out a long sigh. He felt like he had just thrown up, but in that way when you’ve been nauseous all day from a stomach flu, and then when you finally puke, you somehow feel awful but somehow better all at the same time. 

Telling Liam all these thoughts he’d kept to himself. Telling him the thoughts he didn’t even realize he’d been keeping to himself. Well, it was damn cathartic. To have it all out in the open felt like a relief. Even if Liam had his own issues to throw out there. Hell maybe because Liam had his own issues with him. Finally, they were talking. Really talking, not just beating around the apple tree. And that had to be progress, right?

Sure, as the adrenaline from the fight wore off, some of Liam’s barbs sunk in. And boy, did they sting. But at the end of the day, Drake somehow felt that this was better than their stilted half conversations and awkward small talk. At least this was real. And quite frankly, today kind of felt like rock bottom. That meant things could only improve from here. Drake just had to figure out how.

@dcbbw @mfackenthal @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley–walker @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs @butindeed @thesumofmychoices @cosigottahavefaith @thequeenchoices @katedrakeohd @feartheendlesssummer   @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70 @ao719  @ooo-barff-ooo @octobereighth @sunnyxdazed

  @wickedgypsymoon

@carabeth

[cb-143]

Dating Day6

♥ Wonpil ♥

First Meeting

You decided to fly out to LA with a couple friends for your holidays

the flight was really long and tiring, and everything just seemed to get worse once you arrived

The airline had lost your luggage  & when you came to the hotel, you first got help at the front desk, asking where you could get some cheap clothes, tooth-brush, etc.

After buying anything you needed, you just wanted to shower and try to calm down somewhat, so back to the hotel you went

turns out your friends had used up all the fresh towels.. so, things were clearly going even better

you went back to the front desk to ask for towels

guess what? They didn't have any.

You were about to give up when a strange man approached you

He had heard your story ealier and felt incredibly bad for you

now he's met you again, and he took his own towels with him anyway, so as you two met in the hotel's lobby once more, he offered you his towels

he takes you to his room to hand you the towels, that's where you meet his friends

he tells you they're in a band together, but you don't stay there long enough to find out all that much

you just want to shower and then head off to bed

the next morning you and your friends  are having breakfast at the hotel

and you see him again.

He sits by the table next to you, and so you start talking again

you find out more this time, learning that his name's Wonpil, what kind of music he makes, that he's on tour,

but most importantly, you find out his phone number

Confession

After you met in the US, you didn't see each other all that much anymore

He lives in Korea, and you live in [your country name(if you're not Korean.. if you are.. just play along?? fshdkjhs)]

you did frequently skype though

Wonpil loves to call you, wants to talk to you all the time, whether it's through Skype/Discord, text Messages, or even snaps

He thinks about you a lot and can barely put his phone down when you're both awake and online at the same time

He would've prefered to confess to you in person, but somehow he never got the chance, so he confessed to you through skype – at least that way, he'd be able to see your face

You were both a little worried; long distance relationships and all..

but you could see how badly Wonpil wanted this

and you had fallen for him too – so of course you wanted to be with him just as bad

Dates

The distance and Time differences make everything a little difficult

Wonpil would love to take you on dates all the time, but you hardly ever find the time

But that only makes it more special when you two do get to meet up and go on dates

When you visit him in Korea, he will go sightseeing with you, show you everything from his culture

if he visits you, you'll do the same for him

No matter where you are, he loves to go on walks (along the beach) with you, whether its daytime or dark outside

he loves the freedom of walking around, having you actually by his side, and just talking away

it's very peaceful to him

but he will go all out then too~

will buy y'all food, surprise you with flowers or little gifts here and there (a new suitcase lmao)

also likes to stay inside with you, watch a movie, play a game, have you help him with his english, etc..

will cook for you/order food and cuddle with you

Spending Time Together

imma just continue that from before hsfdjs

yeah, you'll often stay inside to just chill, eat some food, talk about nonsense

He likes to appreciate the rare moments when you can be with him in person

loves to be affectionate too during those times (will describe more in the next section)

when you're both in your own countries, he loves to still talk to you

he'll also do that where he just calls you and you both do your own things in silence, no talking

sometimes he falls asleep, or both of you, but waking up with one another is always the highlight of your morning c':

loves to take you along to practice/other really cool 'celeb' moments you wouldn't get to see otherwise, just by face-timing or sth

loves to play the piano for you, sing for you

gets shy sometimes c:

VERY interested in how your day was/what's on your mind

he could just listen to you talk about anything the entire day, because he cares sooo much, and because he loves to hear your voice

Loves to get your opinion on things he buys/makes as well

basically y'all would be living together through your phones ♥

Romance

he will always be super affectionate with you when you finally get to be together

loves to have your fingers intertwined, no matter if you're just chilling and watching a movie, or if he's playing a game – and it'll make him fail – or things beyond that

sometimes it annoys him a bit, but Wonpil knows that he doesn't get to interact with you like this often, so he wants to touch you as much as possible

Lots of hugs

backhugs!!!

cuddling

when y'all are around the others, he will still have his arm around your waist/on your back

hold him, and he will start crying

anytime you're close like this, he will remember and think about that you'll have to leave eventually, that he won't get to be close to you like this, and hear your heart beat right under his ear

he will do a lot of little, romantic things for you, but he likes it if you treat him, if you hold and cuddle him

will either sass you or be your little babyboy c':

seriously though, just put your arm around him, backhug him, do all those things, and he will be yours

lowkey likes it when you tickle him

loves tickle fights with you

very conflicted between feeling embarrassed to serenade you and just serenading you as an act to show you his love

don't even ask him to do it, he'll be so smug, but also so touched

it rlly depends on your role in the relationship

if you take charge, he will tease you a little for it, but will try his best for you!!

if he's in charge, he will still tease you hsdkgdj but he'll be more shy/cute about it

gives you little presents

loves any little gifts you bring/buy him

no matter what it is

he'll keep it

he'll keep them all very close to him when he's that far away from you again

'I love You'

It's just like you that terrible things always happen twice

you're on your first ever holidays together (you meet up in another country somewhere)

and the airline loses your luggage??

deja vu, huh?

You're freaking out, meanwhile Wonpil talks to people @ the airport & the hotel about how they could get it back/if they have some items you'd urgently need.

He comes back to you even more cluelessly than before, and as he walks towards you, he notices how stressed you look, what a mess your hair is (a bad mess, not like the usual way it's always like)

your eyes look tired, and you can't even bring up a fake smile for him

and he just feels his heart being squeezed so tightly in his chest

not only because he feels bad for you, or because there's nothing he can do about this

but also because it's in that moment that he realises just how much he loves you

he's pondered about his true feelings for a while, but he's already asked you out over the internet, he at least wanted to confess to you in person

so he had to wait for the right moment

and he felt like this was it

He stopped in front of you

and you asked him how his discussion with the staff went, if he could arrange something, anything

and he just replies with "I love you, it's gonna be okay." and hugs you

and you start crying in his arms, right there, just glad that – even if you don't have your luggage – you have him

Introducing you to Day6/Family

He's always in front of his phone/computer since y'all started talking

the members didn't think that anything was up at first

but his parents noticed it immediately, the way he smiled whenever he talked to you

"So, who's this girl/guy you're talking to?" they'd just ask him

and he'd deny it at first, rolling his eyes even

parents always assume such things, don't they?

Of course, it was true this time, but he'd rather introduce you in person

his parents insist, though, and he ends up telling them all about you, how you met at the hotel, how defeated you had sounded talking to the people at the hotel

his parents are happy for him, despite it being a LDR

they're just as eager as he is to see and meet you in person

his members saw you already at the hotel, but again, didn't really think anything of it

it's when you're constantly talking to him, when they know that you're not just an ordinary friend

but it's of no use asking wonpil about this

they wait until he opens up about it (more like until you demand to talk to them as he calls you)

Going Public

You looked more into his band after you get back from that first ever trip where you meet

Discovering how big his fanbase is, you decide to wait with going public – you know what that could mean for his career, and you're really not up for receiving so much hate!

Wonpil asks you a few months into the relationship

neither of you brought it up before?

He is fine with waiting too

you don't go public until you propose to him

a picture will be published of you two kissing (the ring on full display!!) and a message written by him

A few fans react as you expected them to, but the normal, human part of the fandom is very happy for you two

you receive many congratulations

you also receive many comments and questions about when you will adopt some animals/when children will join your family c: ♥

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

DOTW 31 - Full... please be kind to me. I can't currently brain enough to edit my own work

Arriving back in Shinganshima, Levi couldn't deny he wasn't glad to be back in familiar territory. As much as he loved being on holiday and having Eren all to himself, he missed his bed and his cat. Eren had had the mother of all panic attacks at the airport, lasting for the whole flight home. Upsetting himself so much he'd thrown up and fainted, and that was before they even got on the plane. Having to call Erwin to meet them at airport, he had his arms full of a very distressed Eren. He didn't even know what had trigger his boyfriend so badly. He'd been quiet while they packed, yet it wasn't until they reached the airport that the panic attack started. Though he did know that not all panic attacks were tears and being unable to breathe, and should have recognised the signs of Eren's panic before hand. His spaciness being sign number one. With Erwin there to take care of their bags, he was able to lift Eren into his hold. His poor omega had got vomit on his shirt and hoodie, and with their suitcase already checked, he hadn't had anything to change Eren into. Letting Erwin get behind the steering wheel, Levi climbed into the back with Eren "Is he ok?" "Yeah. We had a little panic attack, but he'll be fine once we get home" "I stopped by your place and dropped Titan off this morning" "How was he?" "Not happy. He spent most of his time yelling at the front door" Reaching over the back of the seat, he snagged their suitcase. Cursing his short stature, he had to fight to get the stupid thing over "I need to get Eren out these clothes. Can you get the wipes out the glovebox?" "Do I want to ask?" "He vomited" "Ah" Eren was silent, exhausted and boneless as he stripped off his hoodie and shirt. His scent worse now he'd been stripped. Passing him back the wet wipes, he wiped down Eren's chest and arms. His boyfriend whining softly as he did. Once satisfied, he pulled one of his shirts over Eren's head, before getting his seatbelt on. Bundling up Eren's shirt and the wipes he'd use, he was careful to make sure it wasn't touching the rest of his car "All good?" "Yeah. Thanks. He should be alright now" Letting Eren lean against him, he kept his arm around the omega's shoulders. Erwin waited until they'd left airport parking before breaking the silence. Eren had fallen asleep against him "How was the trip?" "Good" "And Eren?" "He loved it" Erwin laughed "You're as talkative as ever" "Then what do you want to hear about?" "I heard you went swimming, and you're rocking a set of aviators. Are you really you?" He'd forgotten about the stupid things, having gotten used to them "That was Eren's idea. The swimming too. He can't swim, so there was no way I was letting him go in alone" "How'd he go with Zeke's ashes?" "Scattered. He's not coming back" "I'd be pretty worried if he did" "I wouldn't put it past him. He's still so far into Eren's fucking head that it's infuriating" "He seemed to be doing better" "He was. He managed the flight over pretty intact, but he completely spooked when we got to the airport this afternoon" If he hadn't had his phone with him, he would have been completely fucked "Then it's probably a good thing Titan's waiting for you at home" "Yeah. Eren's missed him. I've caught him feeling around the bed a few times looking for him" "He's a good kid" "He's a shitty brat" "And he's got you completely whipped" "Like you didn't know it already" "How did your talk go? Did you tell him?" "Yeah" "And?" "And what?" "How did he take it?" "If you're asking if he freaked out, he didn't" No. Eren had just stayed in his lap until they finally ordered food. After that, he'd made good on his offer for a massage... which Levi was glad he was laying face down for because Eren had magical hands... that managed to make him within seconds "What did he say?" "He was understanding" "That's good" "Yeah. This morning he dragged me down to the beach to collect two more shells. He said it was for Farlan and Isabel who never got to see the ocean" "He really is a good kid" "He is" Rubbing Eren's arm, he kissed his boyfriend mop of brown hair "Sooo, Hanji said you went drinking and dancing with him..." "Hanji says a lot" "She's just happy that you two are doing so well. I'm sure she's already planning your wedding" "Ha-fucking-ha" "I'm serious. I saw her last night, she was going on about how you two had some fight, and in her words "how adorable it was"" "It wasn't adorable. Eren wanted to do something for me" "Doesn't he realise you don't ever go on holiday? Even on our days off, you're always cleaning that apartment of yours" "Not always" "Please. That place is spotless" "There is nothing wrong with living in a clean environment. You could learn a thing or two" "I think I prefer my place. It actually feels lived in" "Things have changed since Eren moved in" "I noticed. His room's a mess. I was surprised he'd leave it that way" He couldn't remember Eren's room being a mess, but his boyfriend had been stressing before they'd left... "He doesn't usually leave his room a mess... unless Titan was in there" "I don't think he's to blame" "Whatever. The whole place is going to need to be cleaned from top to bottom. I don't even want to think about how much dust has accumulated" Erwin laughed, letting things finally drop and allowing him to turn all his attention to Eren. Erwin brought their bags up as Levi carried his still sleeping boyfriend. Eren had stirred briefly when Erwin had helped get him out the back of the car. His sleepy voice had mumbled Levi's name, before falling back to sleep. It felt to Levi like Eren was running a fever, probably from the amount of stress his panic attack had placed on his body. Letting them into his apartment, Erwin made sure Titan didn't escape as Levi carried Eren through to his bed. Laying his boyfriend down, he undid his shoes for him, leaving his socks on. He barely had Eren settled when Titan came flying in with a loud yowl. The fat feline immediately climbing onto Eren's chest "I see how it is. Didn't miss me, but missed him" Titan raised his head, Levi reaching down and scratching between his ears. It was the longest he'd been away from the tom since he'd got him, and he had to admit he'd fucking missed the fat little shit "Keep an eye on him for me. He's had a rough afternoon" Titan didn't care, he wasn't impressed when the scratches stopped, but was soon curled up on Eren completely. Heading back into the living area, Erwin had made himself at home on the sofa "What's it like to be back?" "A pain the fucking neck. I need to unpack. Where'd you dump Eren's clothes?" "Laundry" "Everything will be need to be washed anyway..." "Nice to see being away hasn't changed you" "It was only a week. You're making it sound like we flew to Marley and left you behind for a year" "It felt like it. We had a homicide while you were gone. Victim died en-route. Bled out faster than we could get fluids in" He hadn't missed the death at all. Or being covered in a strangers blood "Fuck" "Pretty much" "Are you staying? Do you want a beer?" "I wouldn't say no to one, but I'm rostered on tonight" "Do you want to crash here? You can use Eren's bed, his sheets need washing anyway" "Actually... that would be great. I'll need to let Eld know to pick me up from here" "Eld?" "Gunther got stuck training the new guy" "We have a new guy?" "Yeah. No idea how he's going to fit in, but orders from above and all that" "What's he like?" "He doesn't seem all that bad. A bit on the shy side" "He's going to have to get over that real quick" There was no time for being shy when someone was bleeding to death in front of you "Yeah. Gunther's got it covered. Anyway, I'm going to crash" "Right. I'll try not to be too loud" "We both know you'll have that vacuum cleaner out before I have the chance to fall asleep" "Arsehole" "Missed you too" Giving Erwin half an hour to fall asleep, Levi retrieved his laptop and headed into the kitchen. They hadn't left much in the fridge, and what was left looked as sad as it did when they'd looked. Logging into his laptop, he first checked his bank account, frowning at the large chunk of funds missing. With a few minutes of scrolling, he winced, mentally adding up the cost from their little strip to the club... how they'd be blown through $500 worth of alcohol between the two of them, he had no idea. But it definitely explained a few things. With flights, accommodation, food and shopping, their small holiday had set him back nearly $6000... fuck. It wasn't like his bank account wasn't healthy. His personal funds always staying above the $30,000 mark... but fuck... he had not been expecting that. It wasn't like they'd even brought that much. Most of it had been on food, as he wanted Eren to try everything he could. Depressed over his account, he logged out, before typing in the URL of his usual go to grocery store. They pretty much needed everything... When the food situation was taken care of, it was finally time to clean. Closing Titan in with Eren, he started by dusting. He didn't understand why anyone would do the floors first. The dust fell to the floor. If he did the floors, then dusted, he'd have to do the floors again. Cleaning every available surface he could without disturbing everyone else, he'd only just finished mopping the floors when the door to his room opened "Careful, I just did the floors" Eren didn't hear him, darting into the bathroom, his boyfriend slammed the door behind him. Eren was probably too sleepy to realised he'd pulled too hard, but it didn't stop him cringing at the sound. Sitting on his sofa, Levi was trying to look busy while he waited for Eren to reappear from the bathroom. He didn't want to see overbearing, and didn't want to be the kind of alpha that monitored every aspect of Eren's life. He and his alpha were just worried due to Eren's earlier panic attack. Playing on his laptop, he'd uploaded the photos he had of their trip, flicking through them in half interest... which admittedly was way less than half. When Eren emerged from the toilet, his boyfriend silently walked over to him and dropped down. Wrapping his arms around him, Eren sighed softly "Have a good sleep?" Nodding, Eren headbutted him light. Kissing the omega on top of his head, he placed his laptop down, earning a whine as Eren was jostled in the process "Are you hungry? We don't have much, but we can order in" "N-no" "Ok. How do you feel?" "Sick" "You do feel warm" "I smell something too" "Erwin's here. He looked after Titan for a few days. He's got work so I told him he could sleep in your room, I hope you don't mind. The sheets need to be washed" "It's fine... as long as he doesn't mess it up" Too late for that... time for another tiny white lie "The sheets need to be cleaned and there's probably some mess left from packing. I'll take care of it later" "I don't remember it being messy... I don't want to think" "Do you want to talk about what happened? You were quiet before we left Paradis, then you had a meltdown at the airport" Eren sighed "I thought I saw someone I knew" "Someone you knew?" Eren didn't know that many people, though there had been those idiot alphas "Yeah. He's Zeke's friend... and everything just kind of hit me all over again" Eren was holding back. He could tell by the way his boyfriend started picking at the hem of his shirt... "I guess I made a fool of myself" "I wouldn't go that far" "I would... my stomach feels gross" Rubbing Eren's stomach, he hated the feelings it brought. He just wanted to provide comfort, yet his alpha surged with the hope of their omega being pregnant. Eren definitely wasn't. Still... he could almost imaging if he was. The firm swell beneath his hand, while their pup grew inside him. It was only made worse when Eren started to purr. He'd never wanted kids until Eren had come into his life, and to know Eren wanted them too drove his alpha crazy. It didn't understand why Eren needed to be on contraceptives, not when they both wanted pups. Levi was still rubbing his boyfriend's stomach when Erwin finally appeared. With a loud yawn, his friend stumbled out the bedroom "Oh, hey Eren. How was your holiday?" Eren let out a yawn of his own as he nodded "Really good" "That's great. Levi wasn't too much to handle?" "No... he was really considerate. He made sure everything was perfect" "That's good to hear. I'm going to grab a shower" "Use the white towels" "I know" With the brief exchange over, Eren sighed heavily. He didn't like the way it sounded, as it sounded to him like Eren had the weight of the world on his shoulders "What's wrong?" "I was just thinking about Zeke" "What about him?" "I... just. I don't even have a photo of him. Now that he's gone, I'm scared I'm going to forget him" "You're not going to forget him" "How do you know that?" Other than the fact he'd abused the fuck out of him... "Because he is important to you" "I'm still worried that I'm going to wake up one day and forget what he looked like. Or what he smelt like... like I did with my mum" "You won't..." Eren interrupted him with a trembling voice "The only reason I remember her is because of my nightmares..." "Eren, I'm sure wherever she is, she's looking over you" "I know... I mean, I don't know if I believe in all of that, but it would have been nice to have a photo or something. You know?" "I do... I'm sorry. I don't even know how to go about tracking one down for you" "It's ok. I didn't mean to be annoying" "You're not annoying" "I don't want to forget anymore" "It's alright. What do you want to do?" "This is nice... can we stay like this?" "Sure. Whatever you need" * It felt like the few day Levi had off flew by. Over before Eren was ready to let Levi return to work. The last two weeks had been a dreams, the few days home spent cuddling on the sofa while Levi showed him how to create his own Facebook page, then how to upload the photos from his phone. He wasn't sure if he completely got how the photos stayed up, but it was nice to know the only copy wasn't on his phone anymore. Making the top picture thing a photo of the ocean, he made his main picture thingy a photo of him and Levi kissing. Levi then showed him to set it up to say they were in a relationship together. It felt like he was bragging to the world that Levi was his, and it felt really fucking good. Levi also sent friend requests to all his friends... then to Marco. Marco's page was full of photos of him and Mina. The omega accepting his friend request the moment it was sent, though Eren didn't feel like talking to him. He still didn't know what to say to him. He'd wanted to enjoy his holiday with Levi, and hadn't messaged him. Scrolling through the photos of Mina, Eren couldn't help but be jealous. When was it going to be his turn? He and Levi really hadn't sat down and had the kids talk. With little Mina's birth and Hanji being pregnant. His omega was a jealous dick... he'd presented over 12 years ago, and though still very young at 20, he wanted a future with Levi. He wanted everything with Levi. To bonded, to be married and to have his children... outside of just Titan. He loved the fat, fluffy fur baby, but he wanted more. Even if it was selfish. Another few days passed and he finally felt like tackling the mess that was his bedroom. In his head, he'd some how built it up to be a bigger task than it really was. His clothes were the main issue... it was mostly just the need to refold clothes from the bottom of his wardrobe, he folded everything and neatly stacked it on the pile already in there. Sighing for the hundredth time that day, he was seriously considering going back to bed in Levi's room, but was too restless. There was no point. He couldn't sleep or sit still, because he felt gross... He also missed Levi too much to stay still during the day, and as comfortable as his boyfriend's bed was, he felt lazy. Especially when Levi was working his usual 12 hour shifts. Their holiday must have cost a lot... and he missed working. He missed making money that was his. Maybe it was time to talk to Levi about finding him a new job? He'd like to continue dancing, even stripping, but Levi got jealous at the thought of other alphas touching him. If it was just dancing, he should be ok with it. Eyeing his wardrobe in annoyance, he didn't remember leaving it so messed up. Even with Titan unsupervised in their apartment, and the very tiny chance that he may have left the wardrobe open, it just shouldn't have been a messy as it was. The fat cat had a habit of moving his clothes around to make himself a more comfortable bed, or just to be a shit. He hadn't believed it until he'd seen him dragging a shirt across the living room floor... The omega sighed to himself again. As hard as he tried, he definitely didn't remember leaving his clothes across the floor or his wardrobe open. Deciding the best course of action was to chuck everything from the floor with fur on it into the washing machine, he gathered it up to sort it into lights and darks, throwing it all down on his bed as it was still unmade from being stripped down after Erwin's nap. Sleeping in Levi's bed meant his sheets weren't as important. When the messy pile landed on Titan, Titan shot off the bed and across the room with an unhappy glance back, before pausing to lick his side, glaring at him then running off. Since they'd returned Titan had been by his side constantly. Whether it be showering or making dinner for Levi, the fat cat was right there with him. Though being a cat, his presence was soothing, Eren felt less lonely with Titan there as the fur baby always wanted cuddles, and he always snuggled into him when he wasn't feeling that great. He honestly hadn't been feeling all that well since they'd come home. He didn't tell Levi he'd thrown up a few times, not when his boyfriend had to deal with all that sort of stuff at work. Hearing his phone chime, he grabbed his phone off his bed, tired of looking at his clothes already. Sitting down on the edge, he frowned at the message request from an unfamiliar name. Armin... he didn't know anyone called Armin. Not that he could remember. His phone pinged again, causing his frown to deepen. Unlocking the device, he opened up messenger. The only people he'd talked to were Levi and Hanji, so it wasn't exactly hard to find the new messages from Armin. Opening them, his eyes widened Armin Arlert : "Hey, are you really Eren Yeager? Son of Carla and Grisha? Your dad was a doctor?" The next message was a photo of three kids. An unsmiling girl, a blonde boy with a kind of weird hair cut and a boy with bright green eyes and messy hair Armin Arlert : "Is this you?" He didn't know what to say. He didn't remember a lot of his childhood. Or any of the happy times from it. And now some stranger seemed to know him... he didn't want to remember his past. He didn't want to talk to people who knew him back then, because they probably knew too much. Or it could be some kind of joke? A picture from the internet? It had to be Armin Arlert : "Please. I had a friend by this name who went missing" He already knew from the first message that Armin was talking about him. But he didn't know this person! He didn't want to talk to them. He and Zeke had been so fucking careful to make sure no one could find them... what if it was someone connected to the people who'd kept him chained up like an animal?! Zeke... Zeke had taken care of it all. He'd hurt the ones who'd hurt him... but if they had family... family who knew and who'd found him... fuck... he couldn't fucking breathe. He couldn't remember how to calm down... he... he didn't want to go back there. He wanted to stay with Levi. He wasn't this person Armin wanted to know about. He wasn't the smiling kid in that photo, with those two strangers. His childish innocence had been taken from him... they'd been fucking kids, which was a whole lifetime ago. Back before everything went bad... he didn't want to remember... * Levi came home to a silent apartment with the lights off. It wasn't exactly what he'd expected. Eren usually stayed up to wait for him, or at least left the light on for him to come home to. Checking his bed, he found it devoid of his boyfriend. His heart sank. Eren loved sleeping with him. He wouldn't be sleeping alone in his room, especially when he hadn't been feeling well. It'd started the afternoon they'd gotten back, and his boyfriend hadn't bounced back since. After an exhausting shift, he'd been looking forward to cuddling up with Eren. Eren's door was unlocked, flicking the light on, he didn't immediately catch sight of Eren. If not for the wardrobe door being slightly ajar, he would have missed him completely. Walking over as quietly as he could, he pulled both doors open, revealing his boyfriend inside. His heart began to race as his stomach dropped. Blood clung to Eren's fingers, the scent as nauseating as the scratch marks on the back of the wardrobe. His boyfriend must have panicked, retreated into his wardrobe and in his panic, he'd clawed trying to escape. This wasn't what he wanted to be dealing with... he hated when Eren would hurt himself without realising it. Eren always felt so guilty over it. His mental health had definitely gotten better than it had been. His ill state probably feeding on his paranoid mind, making his depression and anxieties even worse. Lifting Eren up, his lover was drenched in a sick sweat, so warm to the touch that Levi could feel the fever without touching his forehead. This had gone on for far too long. He'd thought with rest and proper food that Eren would feel better... not worse. After all, they had been back for a week and a half now. The big sign that Eren wasn't feeling well was all the half done jobs around the place. Like putting the dishes in the dishwasher, but then forgetting to turn them on. Or moving their washing from the washing machine to the dryer. Or, the fact he hadn't cleaned his room until now. Kissing Eren's damp hair, he cursed himself for not making him that doctor's appointment he'd wanted to, even if it meant forcing him to go. It wasn't exactly an emergency, as defined by the hospital or emergency services, but there was no fucking was he wasn't taking Eren to he hospital to be checked over by Hanji. Eren was still unconscious when they reached the hospital. His hands a mess and his nails chipped from his attempts to escape. Carefully carrying Eren into the Emergency Department waiting room, he looked to Nabana. At least with her, he wouldn't have to listen to Eren being called "brat". That was his name for his omega, and when Olou had started copying, he'd honestly wanted to throat punch the man. Despite the small handful of people already waiting, Nabana sprang into action and Hanji was waving them through before he even had a chance to talk to with the intake nurse. "Oh my gosh! What happened?" Following Hanji through to a bed in the hallway, he already knew it was busy night. They'd brought in 8 patients over the course of their 12 hour shift, and that was just him and Erwin "I don't know. I can home and he'd shut himself in his wardrobe. By the look of it, he's had a panic attack and tried to claw his way out after shutting himself in" Picking up Eren's right hand, Hanji squeezed it softly "I thought his attacks were getting better?" "They have been. This was the first one since we came back, so in what, a week? He hasn't been feeling too well since we came home, but I didn't make him a fucking doctors appointment" His tone was bitter. It was his fault Eren was now sick "Levi" "No. I knew he was sick. Now he's burning up with a fucking fever and fucked up his hands!" "Ok, I'm going to have to ask you to tone it down a little, we do have other patients" Feeling like a dick, he mumbled "Sorry" "That's a good start. I'm going to take his temperature, then I'll need to take some blood so we can find out what's going on here. I don't think he's up for a urine test" "You don't need to explain it all" "Maybe I'm explaining it to myself? You're not the only one worried for my honey here" "Right..." "Levi, I know you're worried, but we'll figure this out. Just stay still and hold his hand" With the ER full, Levi stayed standing in the hallway with Eren. His omega still unconscious, but Hanji had given him a shot for the fever, and IV bag of saline was now hooked up. Eren's hands had been gently cleaned, the omega had done a horribly impressive job trying to escape his self imposed prison of the wardrobe. He knew when Eren first moved in, he'd liked to sleep in the wardrobe because it was a small enclosed space he could "control", it'd been... he thought Eren was past hiding it, and had no idea why his boyfriend would be. Now days, Eren hiding usually meant he was in their bed with Titan. Or sitting on their balcony, on his yoga mat, staring up at the sky. With so many patients to see, Hanji took what felt like forever to return. Eren's pale face had regained a little of its colour, but his eyes still looked somewhat sunken. It was his job to make sure his boyfriend was safe and warm and comfortable and not ending up in the shitty hospital again "Levi, you're glaring at him" "I'm not glaring at him. What do his labs say?" "Gastro, and stress, well the stress bit is my diagnosis. All his vitamin levels are down and his hormones all over the place, it's a real mess" Gastro. How the fuck did Eren have gastro?! Gastro was generally contagious as fuck, and he didn't have... stress was much more likely than gastro... "I'm going to give him a vitamin shot to help things along... but with his hormones... I'm not quite sure what to do. Usually we'd use a suppressant to force the body to even out the hormones, but Eren can't take suppressants... he's probably going to be moody, and upset, like a post heat depression. I honestly won't be surprised if he does go into heat, from looking at the levels" "The last thing he needs is a fucking heat" "I know. I'm just telling you what the numbers are telling me. Anyway, once he's had his shot and that IV bag is empty, he'll be fine to go home. Anyone else and I'd make them stay, but I know you'll monitor him closely and expect him back here if his fever spikes again. I know you've only just gone back to work, but is there any chance of getting time off?" "None. We're getting another new recruit soon, so things are a shitty mess. You've met the new kid. He's too fucking shy to make it. It'd be alright if our boss could actually give us notice about everything happening. Not just dropping the news and fucking off" Hanji laughed "Your tiredness is showing" "My sentence structure is still better than yours. I'm going to have figure out something. I can't get time off work, and if I go into another rut, I may just end up losing my job" "They can't fire you over something like that" "Hanji, I've had 5 ruts, all caused by Eren. Despite working in the medical field, no, because we work in the medical field, they can't afford to have anyone out there who isn't focused on work" "But Eren can't help his heats, and I know you've tried different suppressants" "It doesn't matter to them..." "What a load of crap" Yeah. But what were they supposed to do? Eren was mentally unwell, he couldn't help it, but they needed reliable people in the field "Pretty much" "Do you want me to take him instead?" That was big fat no. Eren would get the wrong idea, he'd think Levi was dumping him off when he got too hard to handle. Hanji wouldn't listen to him if he said so, she didn't really get how Eren operated "Hanji, you're pregnant. Gastro is the last thing you need. I promised him I'd take care of him, so I'll find a way to make this work" "You don't need to try to do everything on your own. You're wonderful with Eren, everyone knows that. But you have this magical thing called friends. We want to help you guys out" Hanji might be right, but it still wounded his alpha's pride to hear it. She made it sound like though he was good with his brat, he wasn't everything he really needed to be "Look, if I get stuck, I'll give you a call. For now, I just want to take him before he wakes up" "Fiiiine. But you're bringing him around for dinner once all this clears. I want to hear all about your holiday from him" "You saw the photos. You spammed him over it" "That's because it looked amazing. He looked so happy and he's just so damn cute" Levi huffed. He was the only one who was supposed to be calling Eren cute. No other alpha would be stupid enough to do so in front of him "Awww. Stop pouting. You do know, that's it's entirely my fault that you two are together now" "Hanji, go get that shot before I have to do it myself" Giving him a mock salute, Hanji cackled like a moron, before leaving to retrieve Eren's vitamin shot. He still doubted gastro was to blame, yet he couldn't figure what had stressed Eren so much that things had ended up like this. * Eren woke up shortly before he was due to return to work, Levi having barely slept as he'd kept a close eye on Eren. He'd only just taken a shower and settled down on the sofa, about to finally check his phone for the day given he'd been slightly distracted... Padding softly across the living room, Eren dropped into lap with a sniffle. Wrapping his arms around Eren's waist, his omega felt much cooler than he had before, his scent much more even and closer to his usual sweet scent. Kissing Eren's cheek, he sighed softly "Why didn't you tell me you were sick? You collapsed in your room" It wasn't completely true, he hadn't technically collapsed, but Eren had passed out. Climbing from his lap, Levi wondered if he should have worded that softer. His relief sounded more like agitation, and now he feared he'd upset his boyfriend. Whatever Eren was doing, it took him a few moments before he returned and crawled back into Levi's lap with a soft whine. Gathering him up again, Levi peered past Eren's arm, trying to watch what he was doing. Completely ignoring him, the omega tapped away awkwardly on his phone with his bandaged hands, before shoving it into his hand when he was done. Hiding his face against Levi's neck with a small whine, Eren nuzzled into him while Levi tried to figure out what he was looking at. Eren had opened his messenger app, his name and Hanji falling beneath an unknown name. Thumbing open the message, he scrolled through the half dozen messages there. Whoever this "Armin Arlert" was, he didn't seem to be able to stop messaging Eren... because he fucking knew him when they were kids? Scrolling through, he felt of growl of almost jealousy slip through his lips. Eren had been scared about his past, and here was someone who'd actually known him. Someone who could give him answers to some of the questions the kid had to have. So why was Eren so upset over it all? The stranger seemed keen to meet up and see him, or for any kind of message from Eren. He'd already sent through a photo of what he assumed to be the man, with a much younger Eren. He'd know that messy brown hair and wide green eyes anywhere "So you two used to be friends?" "I don't remember" Ooooookay... "Then do you want to meet him? He seems pretty keen to meet you" "N-no... I... don't want to talk to him" Levi was pretty sure Eren was going to end up regretting not meeting with Armin. Armin had said he things to return to Eren. Meaning it was entirely possible Armin had photos of Eren and his mother. Eren just wasn't seeing the bigger picture. There was obviously a lot he was scared of forgetting, just as much as he wanted to. This was a chance for Eren to get back a small part of his life stolen from him "Are you sure? He could have..." "I don't want to see him! What would I even say? You knew me when I lived with my abusive father? Before I was turned into this because of him, because he got mum dead?! How could you take his side like that?!" "I'm not taking anyone's side" "I told you because I don't know how to tell him to leave me the fuck alone! I don't fucking know him! Even if we were friends once, he has no fucking right to be messaging me! I don't want to remember! None of it! Just mum... and I'll ever remember of her, is her being murdered! I'm so fucking mad at you! I thought I could trust you" Trying to crawl off his lap, Levi held his angry boyfriend with all his strength "Let me go!" "Just wait" "No! I don't want to talk to you" "Eren! Calm down! Look, I didn't mean to sound like I wasn't on your side. I just... look. Hey, you know I'm on your side. I just thought he might have photos or something of your mum. Something you could hold of hers" Eren growled at him, sounding very much like an angry alpha "Zeke was so fucking careful to make sure no one ever found us! And I've ruined it all" "Eren, Zeke is gone. Ok. He's gone and he's not coming back. You have to live your own life now, how you want. You haven't ruined anything at all. And you do not have to talk to Armin, I just thought it would be nice. I know if someone had things that might belong to Farlan and Isabel, I would like them back, rather than whatever it was ending up in the rubbish" Eren growled at him again, but stopped fighting "I'm sorry, ok?" Eren took a deep breath, he thought his boyfriend was going to yell again, but instead shook his head "I don't want to talk about it... tell me why my hands are bandaged and I could smell Hanji when I woke up" "About that. You went on a little trip today" "What does that mean?" "I'm guessing talking to Armin triggered you pretty badly. I found you in your wardrobe" "That makes sense... so hospital?" "Yeah. You were unconscious and burning with a fever. You banged up your hands pretty bad" "Hospital?" "Yep. Hanji said gastro and stress" Eren sighed, flopping against him completely "No wonder I've felt so shit" "I'm not mad, but why didn't you tell me you were sick?" "You've been busy, and I want our time together to be restful for you" "How can I rest when you didn't even tell me you were sick?" "It was just a fever and vomiting, and my head's been a little mixed up..." How could his boyfriend just sit there and make sound like it wasn't a big deal at all?! "Eren, I wish you'd told me" "I thought I'd be ok... you worry so much, and all I do is nothing" "That's not..." "It is true... I miss working Levi. I miss making my own money and paying for things... I miss it. I didn't want to make you worry, because you have so much to worry about as it is. You do everything here, the least I can do is stay out the way" "No. You're my boyfriend and I want you here with me. If you want to start working again, we can look into it. You just have to talk to me" Eren sighed again, his hand finding Levi's and tugging on it until they were holding hands properly "Thank you" "I don't know if I did anything" "I don't know either, but I felt like I should thank you... I'm sorry for getting cranky. I really don't feel well. How long do we have until you have to go to work?" "A little while, about an hour or so. I've made you some clear vegetable soup, which shouldn't be too heavy to eat. What do you need right now?" Eren nuzzled into his cheek, despite the kid being covered in sweat, Levi didn't mind the contact. Not when his boyfriend was so adorable "Will you rub my stomach again? It felt nice before" He was expecting Eren to say a "shower"... but he could definitely give Eren "pats" and let him cling all he wanted. If he could blow off work, he totally would "Sure, is there anything else you want?" "N-no... but can you um... get rid of Armin's messages? I don't know how" "I'll take care of it. Don't worry about a thing" "Thank you"

[lizcleavesillustration]

Horse and Art Research Program - Artist Residency in Barnag, Hungary, Summer 2017

When I first found the posting for the Horse and Art Research Program I literally choked on my morning coffee. I always thought that my love of horses and art were separate endeavors. That the crossover of both subjects was not possible, now before my eyes it was achievable!  This was something that I knew I had to do, that all of the choices that I made in my life lead me to this moment. 

I had never applied for residency before, so with the help of a few good friends I sent in my application. Honestly, I did not think I was going to get in. The Horse and Art Research Program only took nine artists and the residency was open to the international art realm. Then one early morning the email came, I read it twice just to make sure, I was accepted! Lots of screaming and dancing around the house followed!

 When I kissed my boyfriend goodbye and walked toward my gate at the Portland International Airport, I was scared shitless! I knew that I carried my own hopes for the residency but also the expectations of those who believed in the artist that I have become. I knew that I that I had to be the best, open-minded, loving, roll with the punches, creative, that I could be! Little did I know that I was not only going to learn about printmaking I was also about to learn how to live a good life.

(Photo © Liz Cleaves)

After a day of traveling through the sky, I touched down in Budapest International Airpot. Only knowing about five phases in Hungarian I started my adventure.With the help of Louisa Giffard another HARP artist who knew much more Hungarian than I did (Thank you sooo much!)  we made our way to the meetup point. 

(Photo © Liz Cleaves)

The village of Barnag looks like it came out of a fairy tale. There are two churches at either end of the main street and houses that are wiggled in between. The village is surrounded by farmland, woods and religious statuary that lovingly looks after its occupants. 

(Photos © Liz Cleaves)

All of the artists who were chosen were passionate about horses and art. We were from all different backgrounds and artistic styles. Yet we were able to merge into a collective unit that was supportive of each other’s studies. Jitendra Baoni ( India ), Kate Klingbell ( USA ), Veszely Beata ( Hungary ), Szmrecsanyi Marton ( Hungary ), Emilia Olsen ( USA ), Mark Ritchie ( USA ), Lousia Giffard ( Australia ), Liz Cleaves ( USA ), Lara Jese ( Slovenia & Schwitzerland ), Jennifer Pleydon ( USA ), and Karin Victorin ( Sveden )

(Photo By Veszely Beata))

Comming from an illustration background I wanted to visually speak through my art. Grief, Death and the Natural world was my focus but I needed to find a way to communicate these difficult topics. The answer came to me on the second evening of my residency. I decided to write a folktale about a girl meeting Death on the road and learning from the consequences of the chance encounter.

(Photo By Mark Ritchie)

I had never etched copper before and with the guidance of Professor Mark Richie, the illustrations started to come to life! 

(Photos © Liz Cleaves)

I also did a massive amount of drawing at the Horse and Art Research Program! Our hosts Beata and Marton are horse archers. Every morning they would practice and invited us, artists, to come and watch them. Many of us took this opportunity to do life drawing! 

(Photos © Liz Cleaves)

Afterwards, Marton and Beata would be very kind and to teach us more about horsemanship and archery. The horse is a reflection of your self. Horses respond to your actions and attitude. There needs to be a balance between you and the horse. One does not dominate the other. Archery is also a balance between your mind and your actions.

 When I was learning to shoot, I could not for the life of me hit the target (it was a giant hay bale!) That’s when Marton walked over and said “Don’t aim, just shoot” Honestly, it sounded too easy. So I took “aim” and let go and...missed. Then I listened to Marton and just let go of the stress of hitting the target and guess what...I hit the target! 

(Photo By Veszely Beata)

So the days rolled by with riding, archery, walks to castles, swimming trips to Lake Balton and making prints. Life slowed down and finally, I was able to pursue horses and Art at the same time in my life! 

Photo © Liz Cleaves

(Photo by Lousia Giffard )

(Photos © Liz Cleaves)

To conclude the residency our hostess Beata decided to exhibit all of our work in a Gallery Show at the barn! It was wonderful to celebrate the artistic success of the program with our hosts, the other participants, the horse archers from other tribes, the villagers from Barnag (the mayor came!), and the press! 

(Photo By Veszely Beata)

(Photo By Veszely Beata)

(Photo By Veszely Beata)

(Photo By Mark Ritchie)

Here is are the prints that I showed. I am still editing the bulk of the drawings and prints and will post more once they are digitally archived! I am thinking about making a little art book with the folktale in it..more to come!

Traveled the World Seven Times © Liz Cleaves

The Third Arrow © Liz Cleaves

Remembrance © Liz Cleaves 

In the spirit of performance art and printmaking, Beata came up with the grand idea of printing an image of Arabell (the horse) at the gallery show! The print came out fantastic and I think Arabell liked the art too!

(Photo from the Horse and Art Research Program)

(Photo by Lara Jese )

(Photo By Konkoly Merse)

On the last day of the program, our hosts let a few of us try horse archery at the canter. It was the ultimate balance between, my mind, actions, and emotions and the horse’s mind, actions and emotions. I was very nervous when I was walking Arabell to the post to start her down the track. Instead of keeping my feelings trapped inside I whispered to her “I’m scared Arabell, please take care of me.” She listened, knew and together we hit the target!

(Photo By Mark Ritchie)

(Photo By Mark Ritchie)

(Photo By Mark Ritchie)

I cried a little when I started my journey back home to Portland, Oregon. A piece of my heart was left in Hungary. I learned how to accept death and find balance in life. I meet wonderful people who taught me to become a kinder more grateful person and I made good art that will hopefully inspire others!

Thanks for following along and support the love of the arts! None of this would have been possible without the encouragement that I received from my patrons! Thank you from the depths of my heart! 

Photo By Jenn Playdon

To learn more about the Horse and Art Research Program - Click Here! 

To see more pictures from my trip and keep tabs on new work check out my Instagram! - Click Here!

Read the other Artist’s Blogs

Lara Jese -  http://larajese.com/

Lousia Giffard - https://louisagiffard.wordpress.com/2017/08/29/horse-and-art-2017/

[strangerfwendz]

May 18

Last night, I messaged brad some selfies of Leo. I’ve decided to name it Leo. He thinks I’m crazy but he joked that I got a new puppy to replace him. He didn’t seem too against it. I fell asleep with the puppy wrapped in a towel next to me. When I woke up I was on the couch in the living room. Brad and I talked a bit it was a nice conversation. My roommates were getting ready for classes and I was sooo tired. I couldn’t get up for a jog. I realized my classes started an hour later that day so I went back to my room to sleep. The puppy was sooo cute! I woke up and put it on top of me and went back to sleep and the little guy went up to my pillow and fell asleep curled up against my face. Adorable!!!

I eventually got up, did a bit of exercise that I learned from fitness club the other day. I cleaned up my bed in the case she messes with any of it and left her on the bed wrapped up in a towel.

I sat with lara, sofia, Julie, and marya at banquet. There was a debate about dress code cause sofia didn’t like that she had to tie her hair up. Especially because she walked through the buffet restaurant and ms anastasiia specifically came over to banquet to tell her to tie up her hair. Just follow the dress code, its not difficult. They were arguing that each teacher has different standards of the dress code and not all of them bother enforcing them or even following the rules themselves. The conversation somehow shifted over to why do we pay so much as globals and where does that money go. Then they called Mr Robert Van Dur Ham over. He suggested that we talk to mr bow about it. Make a case and bring it up to him over email or book an appointment to talk to him at his office. They were serving wine for the main course but it was past 12pm already. I downed the glass of wine and rushed back to palm beach. Leo was still sitting exactly as I has left her, I was relieved and impressed. I swooped her up and went to the pet store that Jason tried to bring me yesterday. Leo was shaking, I was getting anxious. The famous mill mill bar was right next to it pet store up a little staircase. I was really confused when I arrived as the staff was just a little boy? But later on it seemed to be a lady as she spoke knowledgably about the puppy and her products.  But this lady was so short she looked like she never went past puberty in primary school. I asked a bunch of questions about what I should get her and she made a few uncomfortable faces saying, “lets see if she lives first”. Thank you for your honesty but why do you say that? I bought a cage, food bowl, milk powder, puppy food. Jason(les roches) eventually came up to the store but he took so long to come by. When I messaged him earlier before I got there, he said he had just finished taking a shower so he shouldn’t have needed more then 10 minutes. He spoke to the lady and she said the puppy is probably a street dog. Jason threw his hands up and said ‘I knew it! You could buy it in my hometown for just 30 to 40RMB. No one wants it.” Then he sighed and said “oh well, whatever makes you happy.”  Jason’s wife, the driver, came up just as I had finished paying. They helped bring my stuff down. Jason didn’t have classes that afternoon and he skipped his morning class so I’m impressed that he offered to come out to help me during lunch. The driver was very nice to help bring up the things I had bought from the pet store to my room before sending me back to school.  

Vik texted me that I could share the cab with Cesar, some Mexican student from school. He needed to go to the same airport, perfect. I rushed back home after classes, called Andy for a change. Pretty much packed everything I wanted to bring back already, just needed one set of clothes really. I didn’t bother bringing my textbooks except French cause lets be honest, im not gonna study. I quicked setup the cage and put Leo inside. Jason arrived at 3.30pm and I texted Cesar to come up and help bring my suitcases down. I took whatever time I had left to hold Leo a little longer just so she knows I still care about her. Cesar came by, with Natalia who pretty much barged in, whatever. They squealed over Leo for a good 10 minutes of course. I would have loved to talk about Leo a little more but we really had to get going. I grabbed my backpack and Cesar carried both my suitcases down, chill~.

Jason kept asking me about which terminal the my flight was which I understand he’s just trying to help but my freaking ticket seriously didn’t have it written down. Heck, even the flight number was confusing. Eventually he called the airport and checked that it was the terminal one but also that my flight was delayed. Shhiiieettt. Jason said once the flight is delayed , oh man, it gets delayed by the hours and I still have a connecting flight to catch! its especially stressful when the lay over is less than 3 hours, I don’t time for this shit man. Anyways along the way, Cesar was a little panicked too cause he was suppose to meet his friend at 4pm, which made me wonder “why the heck did you stand around my apartment making goo goo eyes at my puppy?” He kept trying to contact his friend which he eventually managed to reach. They charged the meet up place and Cesar wanted to go there straight away, so Jason and I were deciding if we had time to send Cesar off first or not cause they were is different directions but Cesar kept insisting that it shouldn’t be that far from the airport. Jason said it would be an extra cost and we decided to send Cesar off first. Damn that silly boy kept insisting that its just a straight route back but boy that isn’t quite how the roads work around here, those are highways.

Fortunately, things went smoothly after, I got to the airport with enough time to check-in and get to my gate. It was not very busy but the staffs’ attitude really annoyed me. There is a security check-in at the entrance. I find myself standing there in front of the security looking at them like “okay, im standing right here waiting to go in, there isn’t anyone else around. What exactly do you want me to do? HELLOOOO!?!?!” UGH they just dazed off and here I am wondering seriously what if that person is in a rush man. Jeez, it was confusing and slow, the staff are so spaced out and nonchalant, how can I take them seriously? I was pretty irritated, tapping my foot impatiently as I waited in line. The lady at check-in was new, she was just transferred from a different department. She had no idea how to check me in so she asked me to go to another counter. The man at the other counter said I need to go check something inside my suitcase, it was just my old broken phone which I kept to download the rest of my photos but then realized was stupid cause im sure the app would need me to access a vpn in china. I headed over to the gate but when I reached the counter I didn’t realize that I was supposed to return to the check-in counter after checking my suitcase, to get my ticket. Urgh, so freakin annoyed but also so very thankful I know Chinese. God damn can’t imagine how I would survive this semester in Shanghai.

I lost my way a little bit when I was trying to find my gate. I arrived 10 minutes before the gate was scheduled to open but it was still delayed and I hadn’t eaten all day except that bit of bread and wine over lunch. I was craving fried chicken and rushed over to KFC for a quick bite. Yum. I struggled trying to pay attention to the announcements. They were very fuzzy and it felt like the Chinese voice was louder than the English one. I returned to the gate, still delayed. If I knew how long the delay would be, I would have loved to walk around and look at the many shops around but I was afraid that the gate would open at any time. I just sat there moping, listening to my music, and wishing I could sigh harder that I already was to express my frustration.

Finely, we board the plane but the expected arrival time was 11pm and I was suppose to be at the gate of my connecting flight at 10.30pm! Panicked, I asked the flight attendant what was I to do? No way was I gonna make it. I was sat between a grandma with long gel nails and a fancy updo she proudly did herself and a working office lady. During the flight, the lady and I both worked on our laptops then there were snack boxes brought to us. Despite the pathetic appearance, I was curious to try whatever “goods” the box possessed inside.

Afterwards, I started watching a movie while the working lady started reading. *sigh* really boosted the confidence in my own intellect. But whatever, I was entertained by the senseless romance movie I was watching. It had a cute passionate skinny girl who believed in the goodness of frozen food while the male lead was a typical handsome tall Eurasian. Might I just add how handsome the young boy was. God, he had such a pretty boy face. The actor was very good at coming off as arrogant in the beginning too. It probably would have been even better if he could have done it in English for the added intonations in his speech. We landed before the movie could end, I expected that.

Its 11pm and I’m stressing out again. I get off the plane and there is an airport staff waiting outside holding a sign with a light of flight numbers, one of them being my connecting flight. I eagerly show him my ticket for that flight, he says bluntly that there is now way I am going to make it and pastes a big red dot on me. He gives me some instructions about a counter on the second floor, I couldn’t really follow but whatever I’ll figure it out somehow. All the passengers pack themselves on a bus to the terminal and I’m making calls to the airline, they can’t help me because I am missing a code. I let out a sign and mutter under my breathe. A man asks me where I am going, I look over my should and answer accordingly. He had a head of mattered thick dark grey with mixed strands of white. He wore a red T shirt layered with a beige button down and a pair of matching shorts. He looked like an archeologist with a face full of sun spots and a pair of simple glasses. Noticing that he too had a big red dot pasted on his chest, I ask him that same question, he said Singapore. Noiice! From there we start talking in English, man that felt good. We quickly learn about each other as we figure out this shitty situation we’re in. It’s the first time to happen to me but a second time for him. He last time happened in china too, he wasn’t surprised. He explained that in china, especially in shanghai, the air trafficking in terrible. The flights are often delayed. We got our tickets rebooked. My earliest flight was the next afternoon at 2pm while his was at 7am. He decided to go with a flight closer to mine so he could at least get some sleep. He went down to our next destination, where we choose an accommodation of our choice within the two options offered by the airline. I went with the serviced apartments, love those, so much space. We exchange wechat information as we wait for the hotel to pick us up. Eventually, we checked into our rooms after midnight and agree to meet up for breakfast the next morning.

Laurent messaged me! So happy to talk to him again. Its so hard to contact him, miss him dearly. He’s usually busy with his internship in London now but he’s also generally bad at responding to texts. I hate that about him. Anyways I told him about my little trip over the weekend and the whole delayed situation. He said my parents were a little over the top to be spending so much for only two days back. He’s probably right but to them it meant a lot and it was worth the expense. Its there money not mine, especially if it makes them happy. Besides the whole idea of a sudden getaway is very exciting and I get to see my dad!

[nantokanaruna-blog]

hi nihon - 5/29/2017

i actually came to japan 2 days ago but i was too tired and busy and whatever so i didn’t make this blog until now lol. here’s the first post yay

but i thought it would be a good idea to try and keep track of everything happening because 1) it’ll be good to look back at later and 2) everything is happening so fast i don’t even remember what i ate for dinner an hour ago

anyways, i left home on the 27th. to be honest i felt absolutely awful the nights before leaving due to personal stuff and just stress+anxiety about leaving home so quickly (i only came home for 10 days after finals ended) and i cried so much but after i landed in tokyo everything changed. after landing and walking through the long (long) walkways towards customs and the arrival lounge i started getting so emotional; i was totally having a “wtf i can’t believe this is happening but i also can 100% believe it” moment

i was so so happy to see Keiko ;-; she got to Haneda earlier than me and ended going to Shinagawa station before i landed to study it without me and i felt so bad omg but she seemed so happy to help out. we rode a bus from the airport to our hotel and it was so surreal seeing tokyo out the window while driving through the city. i was also so happy i could speak (kind of) well with Keiko and she even said my Japanese is really good ;-; even though it’s not lol

our hotel was SO NICE it was scary. it was the shibuya excel tokyu hotel and it was so close to shibuya scramble..the view was so nice. keiko ended up treating me so much and giving me so much stuff (she gave me a flashlight, shopping bag, handkerchiefs, and more right after getting to the hotel lol)...i felt so bad all the time jhhfd

on my arrival day we ended up going to the Sakura House offices in Shinjuku to get my paperwork signed and keys ready. she gave my my own suica card (ith my name on it and 10000 yen on it wtf) so we used that to ride to shibuya. we tried using google maps but we got....so lost and ended up walking around in circles for 30 minutes lol but we finally found the office after a while. the staff was nice, and we were able to figure out everything fine. they gave us matcha tea and country marm and keiko ate all of her portion lol. we made it back to the station in one piece and then went back to shibuya station, where we went to one of the department store food areas there and ate in a cute cafe place. i had a maguro+salmon+avocado don chirashizushi (it was like salad and poke on top of rice basically) and it was sooo good. there was tako in it but the rest was so good. then we wnt back to the hotel and rested and i totally passed out in 5 minutes

sunday we got up and had breakfast at the hotel and it was amazing. the breakfast places (either youshoku buffet or washoku) were on the 25th floor, so the view was amazing. we had the western style breakfast and there was so much food i was dying...the scrambled eggs were the best i’ve ever had lmao. tbh i can’t remember that well the order of things that happened that day (since we went everywhere and used the train so much) but first i think we went to my apartment in harajuku. we took the yamanote line one stop over and walked down takeshita doori (too many tourists) and away a little bit to Sakura House Harajuku B. it was nice, pretty much like a regular japanese house with 5 rooms shoved into it and only 2 bathrooms and a small kitchen. there are 2(?) men here and it’s kind of gross and dirty but what else can i expect from them 

anyways after that i think we went to see how i could walk to my company (TELL) near Omotesando. the walk was really nice; i was so intimidating by all the good looking people in harajuku and the high end shops in omotesando (lmao) but it was really nice even in the hot weather. on the way back we stopped at matsumoto kiyoshi and keiko bought me so much stuff (shampoo, conditioner, sun screen, wet tissues, etc) and i felt bad but she insisted it was okay ;-;

i think after that we tried to look for slippers after dropping that stuff off in my room. we went to the shibuya area again and looked around alot (at loft, tokyu hands, etc.) for slippers and a pass case for me. keiko said she promised herself she wouldnt buy anything for herself on this trip because she was treating me and this was her “welcome to japan” present ;-; we also went to look for a slip to wear under my one piece dress at like three different department stores when we finally found a cheap one near the station. for a late lunch/snack we had cream anmitsu (with soft cream) in a station department store cafe (a famous Japanese sweets chain i think) and it was sooo good.

after looking around more and wandering around we had lunch at another place near the station. it was a famous kansai soba/udon place i think; both keiko and i had a udon bowl (i forgot the name) but it had shiitake, mochi, anago, carrots, etc and it was really good actually. we headed back to the room after that and rested. itte Q came on TV and we laughed a lot. it was really nice.

the next morning (this morning) we ate again at the hotel restaurant, then checked out around 10:00 with our luggage and rode the yamanote to harajuku were we pushed our suitcases down a very busy takeshita doori in 80 degree weather (fml) but it was okay. keiko helped so much i felt so bad...we got the stuff to my room (somehow) and after resting we headed out to go to haneda. keiko wanted to teach me how to go/come back from haneda for after she leaves and when i go to pick up Olivia, so we went to Shinagawa eki then Haneda to drop off her suitcase in a locker. then we went to Tokyo eki (since Olivia will have to go there for her shinkansen) and we went to a newer mall next to the station. we had lunch at a really nice place that’s some fruit company that sells really nice omiyage/gift fruit. we shared fruit sandwiches and early grey tea and this salmon/avocado dish that was so good--it was like smoked salmon and avocado with olive oil and kiwi and tomatoes on a small salad. then we looked around at the stores there and headed back to the station to go back to haneda.

of course when keiko was leaving i started crying (and she did too lol) and i tried to tell her how thankful i was for everything but i don’t think i conveyed it very well....honestly she did so so so much for m this entire trip (coming here from hiroshima, paying for my stuff/food/hotel, researching everything and knowing where to go/how to get there, etc) i felt so so so blessed and happy to have her and it felt so nice knowing she did everything because she cares for me. she was really worried about me heading home so i felt bad... i left the airport (i was a nervous wreck lol) and got on the train to shinagawa (it was already so crowded) and then transferred from there back to yamanote so i could go to harajuku. i felt so nervous and self-aware the entire time but it was a good(?) experience. i got back to sakura house and immediately texted mom and messaged Keiko on LINE. 

i thought i was going to be okay by myself but i really wasn’t (and i’m still not). i felt so empty and alone and sad and scared after Keiko left, since i really realized at that point i was alone. i didn’t have anyone else with me or anything to distract me, so i felt so alone and bad thoughts kept coming...i felt like i was going to cry for hours. i thought it would be good to go to daiso and matsumoto kiyoshi again to buy some stuff so i did. i also went to family mart to get dinner and that was aa little depressing since i couldn’t tell what the cashier was saying when he was asking if i wanted my items bagged or not (lol) but whatever. i think it helped get my mind off of things.

so now i’m back home, i ate a family mart chicken sandwich with juice, and i messaged keiko again on line. i completely forgot i left the slippers in her suitcase (lmao) so now i feel bad. she was also so tired from everything she couldn't remember i feel so bad she’s so burnt out because of me...but she also seemed like she enjoyed it too. i hope i can talk to her on line again soon and i’m also really excited for her to come again in june and july ;-; i’m glad i got to be with her and let her take care of me though because sometimes i worry about her being alone too much esp since she never married/had kids...idk how she even feels like that but i feel like she likes being my second mom ;;

anyways i’m so tired and i want to shower but i think the guys are walking around and i can’t go out so. yeah

tbh i’m still very sad and scared and i just don’t feel good. the time difference sucks and it’s just distancing myself more from everyone. i have so many worried about my place and my internship. i wish keiko could be here 24/7 but she can’t. idk how i’m going to be like this for 2 months...i thought i could go out and just walk around and look around tokyo to have fun alone but idk if i can do that. idk how everything will go from this point and i’m so scared. but it might be okay. i just have to keep going i guess.

i’m so sad i want to see keiko again hhhh

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

DOTW 31 - Start

Arriving back in Shinganshima, Levi couldn't deny he wasn't glad to be back in familiar territory. As much as he loved being on holiday and having Eren all to himself, he missed his bed and his cat. Eren had had the mother of all panic attacks at the airport, lasting for the whole flight home. Upsetting himself so much he'd thrown up and fainted, and that was before they even got on the plane. Having to call Erwin to meet them at airport, he had his arms full of a very distressed Eren. He didn't even know what had trigger his boyfriend so badly. He'd been quiet while they packed, yet it wasn't until they reached the airport that the panic attack started. Though he did know that not all panic attacks were tears and being unable to breathe, and should have recognised the signs of Eren's panic before hand. His spaciness being sign number one. With Erwin there to take care of their bags, he was able to lift Eren into his hold. His poor omega had got vomit on his shirt and hoodie, and with their suitcase already checked, he hadn't had anything to change Eren into. Letting Erwin get behind the steering wheel, Levi climbed into the back with Eren "Is he ok?" "Yeah. We had a little panic attack, but he'll be fine once we get home" "I stopped by your place and dropped Titan off this morning" "How was he?" "Not happy. He spent most of his time yelling at the front door" Reaching over the back of the seat, he snagged their suitcase. Cursing his short stature, he had to fight to get the stupid thing over "I need to get Eren out these clothes. Can you get the wipes out the glovebox?" "Do I want to ask?" "He vomited" "Ah" Eren was silent, exhausted and boneless as he stripped off his hoodie and shirt. His scent worse now he'd been stripped. Passing him back the wet wipes, he wiped down Eren's chest and arms. His boyfriend whining softly as he did. Once satisfied, he pulled one of his shirts over Eren's head, before getting his seatbelt on. Bundling up Eren's shirt and the wipes he'd use, he was careful to make sure it wasn't touching the rest of his car "All good?" "Yeah. Thanks. He should be alright now" Letting Eren lean against him, he kept his arm around the omega's shoulders. Erwin waited until they'd left airport parking before breaking the silence. Eren had fallen asleep against him "How was the trip?" "Good" "And Eren?" "He loved it" Erwin laughed "You're as talkative as ever" "Then what do you want to hear about?" "I heard you went swimming, and you're rocking a set of aviators. Are you really you?" He'd forgotten about the stupid things, having gotten used to them "That was Eren's idea. The swimming too. He can't swim, so there was no way I was letting him go in alone" "How'd he go with Zeke's ashes?" "Scattered. He's not coming back" "I'd be pretty worried if he did" "I wouldn't put it past him. He's still so far into Eren's fucking head that it's infuriating" "He seemed to be doing better" "He was. He managed the flight over pretty intact, but he completely spooked when we got to the airport this afternoon" If he hadn't had his phone with him, he would have been completely fucked "Then it's probably a good thing Titan's waiting for you at home" "Yeah. Eren's missed him. I've caught him feeling around the bed a few times looking for him" "He's a good kid" "He's a shitty brat" "And he's got you completely whipped" "Like you didn't know it already" "How did your talk go? Did you tell him?" "Yeah" "And?" "And what?" "How did he take it?" "If you're asking if he freaked out, he didn't" No. Eren had just stayed in his lap until they finally ordered food. After that, he'd made good on his offer for a massage... which Levi was glad he was laying face down for because Eren had magical hands... that managed to make him within seconds "What did he say?" "He was understanding" "That's good" "Yeah. This morning he dragged me down to the beach to collect two more shells. He said it was for Farlan and Isabel who never got to see the ocean" "He really is a good kid" "He is" Rubbing Eren's arm, he kissed his boyfriend mop of brown hair "Sooo, Hanji said you went drinking and dancing with him..." "Hanji says a lot" "She's just happy that you two are doing so well. I'm sure she's already planning your wedding" "Ha-fucking-ha" "I'm serious. I saw her last night, she was going on about how you two had some fight, and in her words "how adorable it was"" "It wasn't adorable. Eren wanted to do something for me" "Doesn't he realise you don't ever go on holiday? Even on our days off, you're always cleaning that apartment of yours" "Not always" "Please. That place is spotless" "There is nothing wrong with living in a clean environment. You could learn a thing or two" "I think I prefer my place. It actually feels lived in" "Things have changed since Eren moved in" "I noticed. His room's a mess. I was surprised he'd leave it that way" He couldn't remember Eren's room being a mess, but his boyfriend had been stressing before they'd left... "He doesn't usually leave his room a mess... unless Titan was in there" "I don't think he's to blame" "Whatever. The whole place is going to need to be cleaned from top to bottom. I don't even want to think about how much dust has accumulated" Erwin laughed, letting things finally drop and allowing him to turn all his attention to Eren. Erwin brought their bags up as Levi carried his still sleeping boyfriend. Eren had stirred briefly when Erwin had helped get him out the back of the car. His sleepy voice had mumbled Levi's name, before falling back to sleep. It felt to Levi like Eren was running a fever, probably from the amount of stress his panic attack had placed on his body. Letting them into his apartment, Erwin made sure Titan didn't escape as Levi carried Eren through to his bed. Laying his boyfriend down, he undid his shoes for him, leaving his socks on. He barely had Eren settled when Titan came flying in with a loud yowl. The fat feline immediately climbing onto Eren's chest "I see how it is. Didn't miss me, but missed him" Titan raised his head, Levi reaching down and scratching between his ears. It was the longest he'd been away from the tom since he'd got him, and he had to admit he'd fucking missed the fat little shit "Keep an eye on him for me. He's had a rough afternoon" Titan didn't care, he wasn't impressed when the scratches stopped, but was soon curled up on Eren completely. Heading back into the living area, Erwin had made himself at home on the sofa "What's it like to be back?" "A pain the fucking neck. I need to unpack. Where'd you dump Eren's clothes?" "Laundry" "Everything will be need to be washed anyway..." "Nice to see being away hasn't changed you" "It was only a week. You're making it sound like we flew to Marley and left you behind for a year" "It felt like it. We had a homicide while you were gone. Victim died en-route. Bled out faster than we could get fluids in" He hadn't missed the death at all. Or being covered in a strangers blood "Fuck" "Pretty much" "Are you staying? Do you want a beer?" "I wouldn't say no to one, but I'm rostered on tonight" "Do you want to crash here? You can use Eren's bed, his sheets need washing anyway" "Actually... that would be great. I'll need to let Eld know to pick me up from here" "Eld?" "Gunther got stuck training the new guy" "We have a new guy?" "Yeah. No idea how he's going to fit in, but orders from above and all that" "What's he like?" "He doesn't seem all that bad. A bit on the shy side" "He's going to have to get over that real quick" There was no time for being shy when someone was bleeding to death in front of you "Yeah. Gunther's got it covered. Anyway, I'm going to crash" "Right. I'll try not to be too loud" "We both know you'll have that vacuum cleaner out before I have the chance to fall asleep" "Arsehole" "Missed you too" Giving Erwin half an hour to fall asleep, Levi retrieved his laptop and headed into the kitchen. They hadn't left much in the fridge, and what was left looked as sad as it did when they'd looked. Logging into his laptop, he first checked his bank account, frowning at the large chunk of funds missing. With a few minutes of scrolling, he winced, mentally adding up the cost from their little strip to the club... how they'd be blown through $500 worth of alcohol between the two of them, he had no idea. But it definitely explained a few things. With flights, accommodation, food and shopping, their small holiday had set him back nearly $6000... fuck. It wasn't like his bank account wasn't healthy. His personal funds always staying above the $30,000 mark... but fuck... he had not been expecting that. It wasn't like they'd even brought that much. Most of it had been on food, as he wanted Eren to try everything he could. Depressed over his account, he logged out, before typing in the URL of his usual go to grocery store. They pretty much needed everything... When the food situation was taken care of, it was finally time to clean. Closing Titan in with Eren, he started by dusting. He didn't understand why anyone would do the floors first. The dust fell to the floor. If he did the floors, then dusted, he'd have to do the floors again. Cleaning every available surface he could without disturbing everyone else, he'd only just finished mopping the floors when the door to his room opened "Careful, I just did the floors" Eren didn't hear him, darting into the bathroom, his boyfriend slammed the door behind him. Eren was probably too sleepy to realised he'd pulled too hard, but it didn't stop him cringing at the sound. Sitting on his sofa, Levi was trying to look busy while he waited for Eren to reappear from the bathroom. He didn't want to see overbearing, and didn't want to be the kind of alpha that monitored every aspect of Eren's life. He and his alpha were just worried due to Eren's earlier panic attack. Playing on his laptop, he'd uploaded the photos he had of their trip, flicking through them in half interest... which admittedly was way less than half. When Eren emerged from the toilet, his boyfriend silently walked over to him and dropped down. Wrapping his arms around him, Eren sighed softly "Have a good sleep?" Nodding, Eren headbutted him light. Kissing the omega on top of his head, he placed his laptop down, earning a whine as Eren was jostled in the process "Are you hungry? We don't have much, but we can order in" "N-no" "Ok. How do you feel?" "Sick" "You do feel warm" "I smell something too" "Erwin's here. He looked after Titan for a few days. He's got work so I told him he could sleep in your room, I hope you don't mind. The sheets need to be washed" "It's fine... as long as he doesn't mess it up" Too late for that... time for another tiny white lie "The sheets need to be cleaned and there's probably some mess left from packing. I'll take care of it later" "I don't remember it being messy... I don't want to think" "Do you want to talk about what happened? You were quiet before we left Paradis, then you had a meltdown at the airport" Eren sighed "I thought I saw someone I knew" "Someone you knew?" Eren didn't know that many people, though there had been those idiot alphas "Yeah. He's Zeke's friend... and everything just kind of hit me all over again" Eren was holding back. He could tell by the way his boyfriend started picking at the hem of his shirt... "I guess I made a fool of myself" "I wouldn't go that far" "I would... my stomach feels gross" Rubbing Eren's stomach, he hated the feelings it brought. He just wanted to provide comfort, yet his alpha surged with the hope of their omega being pregnant. Eren definitely wasn't. Still... he could almost imaging if he was. The firm swell beneath his hand, while their pup grew inside him. It was only made worse when Eren started to purr. He'd never wanted kids until Eren had come into his life, and to know Eren wanted them too drove his alpha crazy. It didn't understand why Eren needed to be on contraceptives, not when they both wanted pups. Levi was still rubbing his boyfriend's stomach when Erwin finally appeared. With a loud yawn, his friend stumbled out the bedroom "Oh, hey Eren. How was your holiday?" Eren let out a yawn of his own as he nodded "Really good" "That's great. Levi wasn't too much to handle?" "No... he was really considerate. He made sure everything was perfect" "That's good to hear. I'm going to grab a shower" "Use the white towels" "I know" With the brief exchange over, Eren sighed heavily. He didn't like the way it sounded, as it sounded to him like Eren had the weight of the world on his shoulders "What's wrong?" "I was just thinking about Zeke" "What about him?" "I... just. I don't even have a photo of him. Now that he's gone, I'm scared I'm going to forget him" "You're not going to forget him" "How do you know that?" Other than the fact he'd abused the fuck out of him... "Because he is important to you" "I'm still worried that I'm going to wake up one day and forget what he looked like. Or what he smelt like... like I did with my mum" "You won't..." Eren interrupted him with a trembling voice "The only reason I remember her is because of my nightmares..." "Eren, I'm sure wherever she is, she's looking over you" "I know... I mean, I don't know if I believe in all of that, but it would have been nice to have a photo or something. You know?" "I do... I'm sorry. I don't even know how to go about tracking one down for you" "It's ok. I didn't mean to be annoying" "You're not annoying" "I don't want to forget anymore" "It's alright. What do you want to do?" "This is nice... can we stay like this?" "Sure. Whatever you need" * It felt like the few day Levi had off flew by. Over before Eren was ready to let Levi return to work. The last two weeks had been a dreams, the few days home spent cuddling on the sofa while Levi showed him how to create his own Facebook page, then how to upload the photos from his phone. He wasn't sure if he completely got how the photos stayed up, but it was nice to know the only copy wasn't on his phone anymore. Making the top picture thing a photo of the ocean, he made his main picture thingy a photo of him and Levi kissing. Levi then showed him to set it up to say they were in a relationship together. It felt like he was bragging to the world that Levi was his, and it felt really fucking good. Levi also sent friend requests to all his friends... then to Marco. Marco's page was full of photos of him and Mina. The omega accepting his friend request the moment it was sent, though Eren didn't feel like talking to him. He still didn't know what to say to him. He'd wanted to enjoy his holiday with Levi, and hadn't messaged him. Scrolling through the photos of Mina, Eren couldn't help but be jealous. When was it going to be his turn? He and Levi really hadn't sat down and had the kids talk. With little Mina's birth and Hanji being pregnant. His omega was a jealous dick.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

DOTW 31 - Start...

Arriving back in Shinganshima, Levi couldn't deny he wasn't glad to be back in familiar territory. As much as he loved being on holiday and having Eren all to himself, he missed his bed and his cat. Eren had had the mother of all panic attacks at the airport, lasting for the whole flight home. Upsetting himself so much he'd thrown up and fainted, and that was before they even got on the plane. Having to call Erwin to meet them at airport, he had his arms full of a very distressed Eren. He didn't even know what had trigger his boyfriend so badly. He'd been quiet while they packed, yet it wasn't until they reached the airport that the panic attack started. Though he did know that not all panic attacks were tears and being unable to breathe, and should have recognised the signs of Eren's panic before hand. His spaciness being sign number one. With Erwin there to take care of their bags, he was able to lift Eren into his hold. His poor omega had got vomit on his shirt and hoodie, and with their suitcase already checked, he hadn't had anything to change Eren into. Letting Erwin get behind the steering wheel, Levi climbed into the back with Eren "Is he ok?" "Yeah. We had a little panic attack, but he'll be fine once we get home" "I stopped by your place and dropped Titan off this morning" "How was he?" "Not happy. He spent most of his time yelling at the front door" Reaching over the back of the seat, he snagged their suitcase. Cursing his short stature, he had to fight to get the stupid thing over "I need to get Eren out these clothes. Can you get the wipes out the glovebox?" "Do I want to ask?" "He vomited" "Ah" Eren was silent, exhausted and boneless as he stripped off his hoodie and shirt. His scent worse now he'd been stripped. Passing him back the wet wipes, he wiped down Eren's chest and arms. His boyfriend whining softly as he did. Once satisfied, he pulled one of his shirts over Eren's head, before getting his seatbelt on. Bundling up Eren's shirt and the wipes he'd use, he was careful to make sure it wasn't touching the rest of his car "All good?" "Yeah. Thanks. He should be alright now" Letting Eren lean against him, he kept his arm around the omega's shoulders. Erwin waited until they'd left airport parking before breaking the silence. Eren had fallen asleep against him "How was the trip?" "Good" "And Eren?" "He loved it" Erwin laughed "You're as talkative as ever" "Then what do you want to hear about?" "I heard you went swimming, and you're rocking a set of aviators. Are you really you?" He'd forgotten about the stupid things, having gotten used to them "That was Eren's idea. The swimming too. He can't swim, so there was no way I was letting him go in alone" "How'd he go with Zeke's ashes?" "Scattered. He's not coming back" "I'd be pretty worried if he did" "I wouldn't put it past him. He's still so far into Eren's fucking head that it's infuriating" "He seemed to be doing better" "He was. He managed the flight over pretty intact, but he completely spooked when we got to the airport this afternoon" If he hadn't had his phone with him, he would have been completely fucked "Then it's probably a good thing Titan's waiting for you at home" "Yeah. Eren's missed him. I've caught him feeling around the bed a few times looking for him" "He's a good kid" "He's a shitty brat" "And he's got you completely whipped" "Like you didn't know it already" "How did your talk go? Did you tell him?" "Yeah" "And?" "And what?" "How did he take it?" "If you're asking if he freaked out, he didn't" No. Eren had just stayed in his lap until they finally ordered food. After that, he'd made good on his offer for a massage... which Levi was glad he was laying face down for because Eren had magical hands... that managed to make him within seconds "What did he say?" "He was understanding" "That's good" "Yeah. This morning he dragged me down to the beach to collect two more shells. He said it was for Farlan and Isabel who never got to see the ocean" "He really is a good kid" "He is" Rubbing Eren's arm, he kissed his boyfriend mop of brown hair "Sooo, Hanji said you went drinking and dancing with him..." "Hanji says a lot" "She's just happy that you two are doing so well. I'm sure she's already planning your wedding" "Ha-fucking-ha" "I'm serious. I saw her last night, she was going on about how you two had some fight, and in her words "how adorable it was"" "It wasn't adorable. Eren wanted to do something for me" "Doesn't he realise you don't ever go on holiday? Even on our days off, you're always cleaning that apartment of yours" "Not always" "Please. That place is spotless" "There is nothing wrong with living in a clean environment. You could learn a thing or two" "I think I prefer my place. It actually feels lived in" "Things have changed since Eren moved in" "I noticed. His room's a mess. I was surprised he'd leave it that way" He couldn't remember Eren's room being a mess, but his boyfriend had been stressing before they'd left... "He doesn't usually leave his room a mess... unless Titan was in there" "I don't think he's to blame" "Whatever. The whole place is going to need to be cleaned from top to bottom. I don't even want to think about how much dust has accumulated" Erwin laughed, letting things finally drop and allowing him to turn all his attention to Eren. Erwin brought their bags up as Levi carried his still sleeping boyfriend. Eren had stirred briefly when Erwin had helped get him out the back of the car. His sleepy voice had mumbled Levi's name, before falling back to sleep. It felt to Levi like Eren was running a fever, probably from the amount of stress his panic attack had placed on his body. Letting them into his apartment, Erwin made sure Titan didn't escape as Levi carried Eren through to his bed. Laying his boyfriend down, he undid his shoes for him, leaving his socks on. He barely had Eren settled when Titan came flying in with a loud yowl. The fat feline immediately climbing onto Eren's chest "I see how it is. Didn't miss me, but missed him" Titan raised his head, Levi reaching down and scratching between his ears. It was the longest he'd been away from the tom since he'd got him, and he had to admit he'd fucking missed the fat little shit "Keep an eye on him for me. He's had a rough afternoon" Titan didn't care, he wasn't impressed when the scratches stopped, but was soon curled up on Eren completely. Heading back into the living area, Erwin had made himself at home on the sofa "What's it like to be back?" "A pain the fucking neck. I need to unpack. Where'd you dump Eren's clothes?" "Laundry" "Everything will be need to be washed anyway..." "Nice to see being away hasn't changed you" "It was only a week. You're making it sound like we flew to Marley and left you behind for a year" "It felt like it. We had a homicide while you were gone. Victim died en-route. Bled out faster than we could get fluids in" He hadn't missed the death at all. Or being covered in a strangers blood "Fuck" "Pretty much" "Are you staying? Do you want a beer?" "I wouldn't say no to one, but I'm rostered on tonight" "Do you want to crash here? You can use Eren's bed, his sheets need washing anyway" "Actually... that would be great. I'll need to let Eld know to pick me up from here" "Eld?" "Gunther got stuck training the new guy" "We have a new guy?" "Yeah. No idea how he's going to fit in, but orders from above and all that" "What's he like?" "He doesn't seem all that bad. A bit on the shy side" "He's going to have to get over that real quick" There was no time for being shy when someone was bleeding to death in front of you "Yeah. Gunther's got it covered. Anyway, I'm going to crash" "Right. I'll try not to be too loud" "We both know you'll have that vacuum cleaner out before I have the chance to fall asleep" "Arsehole" "Missed you too" Giving Erwin half an hour to fall asleep, Levi retrieved his laptop and headed into the kitchen. They hadn't left much in the fridge, and what was left looked as sad as it did when they'd looked. Logging into his laptop, he first checked his bank account, frowning at the large chunk of funds missing. With a few minutes of scrolling, he winced, mentally adding up the cost from their little strip to the club... how they'd be blown through $500 worth of alcohol between the two of them, he had no idea. But it definitely explained a few things. With flights, accommodation, food and shopping, their small holiday had set him back nearly $6000... fuck. It wasn't like his bank account wasn't healthy. His personal funds always staying above the $30,000 mark... but fuck... he had not been expecting that. It wasn't like they'd even brought that much. Most of it had been on food, as he wanted Eren to try everything he could. Depressed over his account, he logged out, before typing in the URL of his usual go to grocery store. They pretty much needed everything... When the food situation was taken care of, it was finally time to clean. Closing Titan in with Eren, he started by dusting. He didn't understand why anyone would do the floors first. The dust fell to the floor. If he did the floors, then dusted, he'd have to do the floors again. Cleaning every available surface he could without disturbing everyone else, he'd only just finished mopping the floors when the door to his room opened "Careful, I just did the floors" Eren didn't hear him, darting into the bathroom, his boyfriend slammed the door behind him. Eren was probably too sleepy to realised he'd pulled too hard, but it didn't stop him cringing at the sound. Sitting on his sofa, Levi was trying to look busy while he waited for Eren to reappear from the bathroom. He didn't want to see overbearing, and didn't want to be the kind of alpha that monitored every aspect of Eren's life. He and his alpha were just worried due to Eren's earlier panic attack. Playing on his laptop, he'd uploaded the photos he had of their trip, flicking through them in half interest... which admittedly was way less than half. When Eren emerged from the toilet, his boyfriend silently walked over to him and dropped down. Wrapping his arms around him, Eren sighed softly "Have a good sleep?" Nodding, Eren headbutted him light. Kissing the omega on top of his head, he placed his laptop down, earning a whine as Eren was jostled in the process "Are you hungry? We don't have much, but we can order in" "N-no" "Ok. How do you feel?" "Sick" "You do feel warm" "I smell something too" "Erwin's here. He looked after Titan for a few days. He's got work so I told him he could sleep in your room, I hope you don't mind. The sheets need to be washed" "It's fine... as long as he doesn't mess it up" Too late for that... time for another tiny white lie "The sheets need to be cleaned and there's probably some mess left from packing. I'll take care of it later" "I don't remember it being messy... I don't want to think" "Do you want to talk about what happened? You were quiet before we left Paradis, then you had a meltdown at the airport" Eren sighed "I thought I saw someone I knew" "Someone you knew?" Eren didn't know that many people, though there had been those idiot alphas "Yeah. He's Zeke's friend... and everything just kind of hit me all over again" Eren was holding back. He could tell by the way his boyfriend started picking at the hem of his shirt... "I guess I made a fool of myself" "I wouldn't go that far" "I would... my stomach feels gross" Rubbing Eren's stomach, he hated the feelings it brought. He just wanted to provide comfort, yet his alpha surged with the hope of their omega being pregnant. Eren definitely wasn't. Still... he could almost imaging if he was. The firm swell beneath his hand, while their pup grew inside him. It was only made worse when Eren started to purr. He'd never wanted kids until Eren had come into his life, and to know Eren wanted them too drove his alpha crazy. It didn't understand why Eren needed to be on contraceptives, not when they both wanted pups. Levi was still rubbing his boyfriend's stomach when Erwin finally appeared. With a loud yawn, his friend stumbled out the bedroom "Oh, hey Eren. How was your holiday?" Eren let out a yawn of his own as he nodded "Really good" "That's great. Levi wasn't too much to handle?" "No... he was really considerate. He made sure everything was perfect" "That's good to hear. I'm going to grab a shower" "Use the white towels" "I know" With the brief exchange over, Eren sighed heavily. He didn't like the way it sounded, as it sounded to him like Eren had the weight of the world on his shoulders "What's wrong?" "I was just thinking about Zeke" "What about him?" "I... just. I don't even have a photo of him. Now that he's gone, I'm scared I'm going to forget him" "You're not going to forget him" "How do you know that?" Other than the fact he'd abused the fuck out of him... "Because he is important to you" "I'm still worried that I'm going to wake up one day and forget what he looked like. Or what he smelt like... like I did with my mum" "You won't..." Eren interrupted him with a trembling voice "The only reason I remember her is because of my nightmares..." "Eren, I'm sure wherever she is, she's looking over you" "I know... I mean, I don't know if I believe in all of that, but it would have been nice to have a photo or something. You know?" "I do... I'm sorry. I don't even know how to go about tracking one down for you" "It's ok. I didn't mean to be annoying" "You're not annoying" "I don't want to forget anymore" "It's alright. What do you want to do?" "This is nice... can we stay like this?" "Sure. Whatever you need" * It felt like the few day Levi had off flew by. Over before Eren was ready to let Levi return to work. The last two weeks had been a dreams, the few days home spent cuddling on the sofa while Levi showed him how to create his own Facebook page, then how to upload the photos from his phone. He wasn't sure if he completely got how the photos stayed up, but it was nice to know the only copy wasn't on his phone anymore. Making the top picture thing a photo of the ocean, he made his main picture thingy a photo of him and Levi kissing. Levi then showed him to set it up to say they were in a relationship together. It felt like he was bragging to the world that Levi was his, and it felt really fucking good. Levi also sent friend requests to all his friends... then to Marco. Marco's page was full of photos of him and Mina. The omega accepting his friend request the moment it was sent, though Eren didn't feel like talking to him. He still didn't know what to say to him. He'd wanted to enjoy his holiday with Levi, and hadn't messaged him. Scrolling through the photos of Mina, Eren couldn't help but be jealous. When was it going to be his turn? He and Levi really hadn't sat down and had the kids talk. With little Mina's birth and Hanji being pregnant. His omega was a jealous dick... he'd presented over 12 years ago, and though still very young at 20, he wanted a future with Levi. He wanted everything with Levi. To bonded, to be married and to have his children... outside of just Titan. He loved the fat, fluffy fur baby, but he wanted more. Even if it was selfish. Another few days passed and he finally felt like tackling the mess that was his bedroom. In his head, he'd some how built it up to be a bigger task than it really was. His clothes were the main issue... it was mostly just the need to refold clothes from the bottom of his wardrobe, he folded everything and neatly stacked it on the pile already in there. Sighing for the hundredth time that day, he was seriously considering going back to bed in Levi's room, but was too restless. There was no point. He couldn't sleep or sit still, because he felt gross... He also missed Levi too much to stay still during the day, and as comfortable as his boyfriend's bed was, he felt lazy. Especially when Levi was working his usual 12 hour shifts. Their holiday must have cost a lot... and he missed working. He missed making money that was his. Maybe it was time to talk to Levi about finding him a new job? He'd like to continue dancing, even stripping, but Levi got jealous at the thought of other alphas touching him. If it was just dancing, he should be ok with it. Eyeing his wardrobe in annoyance, he didn't remember leaving it so messed up. Even with Titan unsupervised in their apartment, and the very tiny chance that he may have left the wardrobe open, it just shouldn't have been a messy as it was. The fat cat had a habit of moving his clothes around to make himself a more comfortable bed, or just to be a shit. He hadn't believed it until he'd seen him dragging a shirt across the living room floor... The omega sighed to himself again. As hard as he tried, he definitely didn't remember leaving his clothes across the floor or his wardrobe open. Deciding the best course of action was to chuck everything from the floor with fur on it into the washing machine, he gathered it up to sort it into lights and darks, throwing it all down on his bed as it was still unmade from being stripped down after Erwin's nap. Sleeping in Levi's bed meant his sheets weren't as important. When the messy pile landed on Titan, Titan shot off the bed and across the room with an unhappy glance back, before pausing to lick his side, glaring at him then running off. Since they'd returned Titan had been by his side constantly. Whether it be showering or making dinner for Levi, the fat cat was right there with him. Though being a cat, his presence was soothing, Eren felt less lonely with Titan there as the fur baby always wanted cuddles, and he always snuggled into him when he wasn't feeling that great. He honestly hadn't been feeling all that well since they'd come home. He didn't tell Levi he'd thrown up a few times, not when his boyfriend had to deal with all that sort of stuff at work. Hearing his phone chime, he grabbed his phone off his bed, tired of looking at his clothes already. Sitting down on the edge, he frowned at the message request from an unfamiliar name. Armin... he didn't know anyone called Armin. Not that he could remember. His phone pinged again, causing his frown to deepen. Unlocking the device, he opened up messenger. The only people he'd talked to were Levi and Hanji, so it wasn't exactly hard to find the new messages from Armin. Opening them, his eyes widened Armin Arlert : "Hey, are you really Eren Yeager? Son of Carla and Grisha? Your dad was a doctor?" The next message was a photo of three kids. An unsmiling girl, a blonde boy with a kind of weird hair cut and a boy with bright green eyes and messy hair Armin Arlert : "Is this you?" He didn't know what to say. He didn't remember a lot of his childhood. Or any of the happy times from it. And now some stranger seemed to know him... he didn't want to remember his past. He didn't want to talk to people who knew him back then, because they probably knew too much. Or it could be some kind of joke? A picture from the internet? It had to be Armin Arlert : "Please. I had a friend by this name who went missing" He already knew from the first message that Armin was talking about him. But he didn't know this person! He didn't want to talk to them. He and Zeke had been so fucking careful to make sure no one could find them... what if it was someone connected to the people who'd kept him chained up like an animal?! Zeke... Zeke had taken care of it all. He'd hurt the ones who'd hurt him... but if they had family... family who knew and who'd found him... fuck... he couldn't fucking breathe. He couldn't remember how to calm down... he... he didn't want to go back there. He wanted to stay with Levi. He wasn't this person Armin wanted to know about. He wasn't the smiling kid in that photo, with those two strangers. His childish innocence had been taken from him... they'd been fucking kids, which was a whole lifetime ago. Back before everything went bad... he didn't want to remember... * Levi came home to a silent apartment with the lights off. It wasn't exactly what he'd expected. Eren usually stayed up to wait for him, or at least left the light on for him to come home to. Checking his bed, he found it devoid of his boyfriend. His heart sank. Eren loved sleeping with him. He wouldn't be sleeping alone in his room, especially when he hadn't been feeling well. It'd started the afternoon they'd gotten back, and his boyfriend hadn't bounced back since. After an exhausting shift, he'd been looking forward to cuddling up with Eren. Eren's door was unlocked, flicking the light on, he didn't immediately catch sight of Eren. If not for the wardrobe door being slightly ajar, he would have missed him completely. Walking over as quietly as he could, he pulled both doors open, revealing his boyfriend inside. Blood clung to Eren's fingers, the scent as nauseating as the scratch marks on the back of the wardrobe. His boyfriend must have panicked, retreated into his wardrobe and in his panic, he'd clawed trying to escape. This wasn't what he wanted to be dealing with... he hated when Eren would hurt himself without realising it. Eren always felt so guilty over it. His mental health had definitely gotten better than it had been. His ill state probably feeding on his paranoid mind, making his depression and anxieties even worse. Lifting Eren up, his lover was drenched in a sick sweat, so warm to the touch that Levi could feel the fever without touching his forehead. This had gone on for far too long. He'd thought with rest and proper food that Eren would feel better... not worse. After all, they had been back for a week and a half now. The big sign that Eren wasn't feeling well was all the half done jobs around the place. Like putting the dishes in the dishwasher, but then forgetting to turn them on. Or moving their washing from the washing machine to the dryer. Or, the fact he hadn't cleaned his room until now. Kissing Eren's damp hair, he cursed himself for not making him a doctor's appointment and forcing him to go. It wasn't exactly an emergency, as defined by the hospital or emergency services, but there was no fucking was he wasn't taking Eren to he hospital to be checked over by Hanji.