#and idk what to do about it
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guy who's been everywhere and knows everyone
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#god i needed to draw something different im stuck and i hate everything i draw#i dont have the the theee energy or whatever i cant get myself to work on my art and it sucks#and idk what to do about it#ughhh#im just making ugly doodles that i hate and i feel even worse please sonic help meee save meeee#art#fanart#digital art
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I sincerely appreciate those of you who are here. Seriously. Your love means the world to me. I'm just so tired.
#vent art#sketch#will probably delete later#I hate to sound ungrateful#I know how lucky I've been#I'm just so tired of feeling stuck#and idk what to do about it
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screaming into my pillow about the way loki looked at mobius in the new episode of loki
#loki season 2#lokius#and idk what to do about it#im feeling so many emotions about it but—#theres nowhere for them to go#hence the screaming
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It’s never fun when a trip comes to an end and I’m gonna miss @ugh-yoongi (and her cats) but so thankful we got to see seventeen together. Equally thankful we survived to tell the tale 😂
Now to work on all the projects I have been putting off once I’m back home
#I am still thinking about Dino#but Seungkwan got me#and idk what to do about it#it’s fine#we’re fine#editing to add#I also had a sever woozi crisis#during encore
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I feel empty
#help#it’s happening again lmaooooo#I have no purpose#I feel so empty idk what to do#nothing helps. I can’t do this forever#I don’t even have hobbies anymore because I have them all up#I don’t like anybody#I don’t care about anything or anyone I just want attention#I feel so so lost sometimes.#most days it’s easy. it’s very easy. but god is it hollow#but other days it’s so hard. it’s very hard to find a reason to exist besides out of obligation#I feel unreal if that makes sense? like I have a body and flesh and I’m physically here and aware but I’m just.#not really a person. and not really connected to anything around me or in reality. just kind of floating#and idk what to do about it#I can’t change anything#cry for help#personal#vent post
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idk why but my stomach does this thing where everytime I eat something, even the smallest snack, my stomach will either: 1. Hurt mildly for the next like 5-15 minutes. Or. 2. Give me a sharp pain that last about 5-10 seconds about 15 minutes after eating.
and unfortunately I can’t say anything about it because I’m asked if I’m on my period. Like no, I ended that a week ago, this has been happening consistently for the past three ish months
#Pain :(#and idk what to do about it#I’ve been getting used to it tho#So I’ll occasionally fall down in pain like once a week#But otherwise it’s just a Thing that happens
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guess who just bought boba and then spilled half of it :')
#i know this is not a big deal whatsoever#but also i almost started crying in the middle of this cafe and it's not been very chill and nice#anyway i also cannot find any good sources for my research essay#and my prospectus and bibliography is due today#and idk what to do about it#and im also probably going to fail my physics class#very fun#boink
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continuing from my prev post bc I reached tag limit which I didn’t even know was a thing
#continuing my venting#anyways I can see my family being like at a loss with me#like they don’t know what to do or how to act with me#and I don’t want to be that person#but emotionally I haven’t felt this all over the place that even the smallest thing sets me off#also no I’m not pregnant#idk I feel like maybe it’s bc I feel like such a failure rn#and I think everyone hates me way more than usual#and I’m trying to compensate that by doing so much stuff trying to help#but it’s never enough and then I lash out#and scream and accuse people#and then I sit in my room and wonder why I said sll those things#and I know I should’ve left this sort of behaviour in secondary school#and I swear I’m not normally this bad#but March 2023 has been so…. weird#like I feel like a stranger to myself#and idk what to do about it#i don’t know how to make myself snap out of it#i don’t want to get worse#idek if this makes sense I’ll prob delete it but I had to write it down I just feel so emotional
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:’)
#succession s4 premiering at a GREAT time for me honestly#and when I say great time I mean that these days i feel like im always on the brink of an earth shattering breakdown#and idk what to do about it#idk how to explain that succession is the weirdest emotional release for me but it is#even when it makes me feel like I need to die#anyway. there’s a deep pain in my chest I can’t get rid of but I’m late for class so!
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you're allowed to discuss and work together, reblog for a higher sample size or something
You have 1 week, good luck!
#neo.txt#girl idk i don't really care about tagging#challenge#ig#i'll just let y'all do this on your own#if 10 people join then that works#but the more people join the more likely you are to succeed#i just wanna sit back and see what you all do#and if you can succeed#(twitter is failing)#tumblr even poll challenge#i guess i'll name it this!
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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f#like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf#but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic#like this isn’t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting#idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that#like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom#so there might be something I’m missing
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i just hate my chest so much
#but only sometimes#and it’s not like i want to be a boy#it’s just my chest bothers me a lot#sometimes#and idk what to do about it#tw gore in tags#in next tag#tw knife mention#like i just want to grab a knife and cut them off#i wish i had a binder sometimes :(#what are some solutions?#chest binding#chest problems#but also at other times it’s not bad at all or i’m even confident and happy with my chest#but other times (like right now) i hate it and want to cry#urlocalsadkid l#text post#random#venus rambles
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lol almost certainly gonna be alone for my birthday. I’m so sad.
#personal#idk if this sounds spoiled or anything#my birthday is a big deal to me and I’ve literally never spent it entirely alone#like with not even a whisper of another person being around or stopping by#it’s not about gifts or doing anything or anything#just being alone?#it’s breaking my heart actually#and idk what to do about it#other than just grin and bear it#and just. ugh. I’m tired of doing that.
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crazy how whenever I start going absolutely mental I don't know who to confide in about it
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Life's Mockery
next
#I have....so many ideas about this...#Inspired by handyman au? But i might do a different approach :D#hopefully i can draw them before my motivation runs out 😭😭#gravity falls#au#idk what to call it yet#bill cipher#axolotl#theraprism#comic#my art#also no more mascara privileges for bill
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I miss my rattie babies. haven't been able to go over there and see them. watching on repeat some shitty videos I made of them last time I was there. hesitant to post them because they suck, all awkwardly following and unsteady camera and terrible lighting.
Mom and I have been sharing the one car since mine flooded and was declared a total loss, which means coming straight home after work and not being able to visit my gf, so not being able to visit the rats. had to order them food on Amazon to send to gf, couldn't get and bring it myself. and it's not like she has transportation.
I love Sephy but she's definitely my mom's cat, not mine. of all the pets I've had, I don't think any have ever felt truly mine the way the ratties do. wish something would just work so we can afford to fix the house so I can have a real room to bring them home to.
it's all just so frustrating. everyone's working their asses off, trying their hardest and... still, it's never enough. everything costs too much. and none of it is anything that can be dropped or excluded or cut. we have to eat, we have to get gas for the car, we have to pay for the stupid storage units and the electric bill and the mortgage and and and
and it never ends.
there has got to be some solution somehow I'm just not seeing it. idk what else to do tho.
#ranting#rambling#missing my babies#frustrated#and so so tired#i'm failing my classes too#and idk what to do about it#i can't stop because we need the financial aid money#like even if i got a full time job which doubled my income it wouldn't be as much#or it would be close but not quite#so six one way half a dozen another#but it's gunna fuck up my gpa if i can't bring these grades up#but how tf am i supposed to concentrate with no desk no electricity yet a fucking gain#so fucking stressed
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