#i just miss having community a lot

[colorsinautumn]

i miss being on tumblr a lot.

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[critter-wizard]

ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️

b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3

[tea-cat-arts]

I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji

[anthropoetics]

next year's resolution is to reach out more & try my best to find communities where i feel like i belong

[genericpuff]

hate to be cynical on main but it really do be like this every single time a new "not like social media" art platform comes out of the woodwork and then people migrate to it in droves just to find out the only other people using it are other artists that they're competing with for any scrape of viewership from an increasingly oversaturated internet that didn't exist when we were teenagers in 2009

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

As we approach the next arc in the story, an outfit change is now on the horizon! The question is, what are our lads going to wear?

(Please also vote in the Wei Wuxian poll!)

[genericdragon]

Noah fence but if you can't handle thinking about the actual story of Mouthwashing and you just want to imagine silly found family scenarios with the crew on the Tulpar then maybe you shouldn't be engaging with HORROR media...... just a thought.

[melit0n]

Give me five whole minutes.

Credits: Me

[kindnessoverperfection]

Lately, when I talk about someone I strongly disagree with, I think about my friends.

When I interact with someone who regularly rants about people, and tends to take things in the worst ways (without any attempts at self-reflection or grace), I feel more on-edge. I'm nervous to voice opinions. I'm always over-thinking everything I send them, worried about how they'll receive it.

On the other hand, I feel much safer during conversations where someone is speaking neutrally about those they feel at conflict with. When they feel upset about a situation, but without talking aggressively about the other person. Because I know that if we're ever in a disagreement, or have some sort of conflict or misunderstanding, they won't hurt me or suddenly hate me*.

I used to speak much more aggressively about people. My personality disorders, combined with online toxic environments, were big factors in that. I was stressed and angry constantly, and I felt justified, and I felt afraid and ashamed to respond with anything but anger. But to make a long story short, I had several big painful interpersonal experiences where I realized how my attitude was impacting my friends.

I remember the nervousness in my friends' eyes. I remember the people I've met who are much older and never grew out of that reactive communication style, and I don't want to be that person. I want my loved ones to feel safe around me.

So nowadays, I do my best to speak compassionately (or at least neutrally). Because I want to signal to my friends that I'm not going to be cruel to them, or to automatically believe the worst of them, during a conflict or misunderstanding. I try to vent about situations and my fears instead of people.

I wish I'd realized this before.

*(I discuss splitting in the tags)

[gooperts-gunk]

im so crazy over the tragedy of everything q!bbh does being under a demon pretense even though he's a fallen angel.

do u think he just accepts the demon label because it's easier. do u think he believes it too, and catches himself in his thoughts with "oh, right. im not exactly that". and maybe he believes that he did this to himself? do u think what he did was to protect himself or someone? no matter the fall, he still has so much kindness to give and his brain just isn't wired the way a natural-born demon would be, he can't hold back instincts when time demands it, maybe that's why he fell in the first place.

and when he's finally bad, not good, it's treated like the end of the world, without empathy on why he would act out. do you think this keeps happening? the same scenario, multiple times, every timeline? he has to be used to it. so he has to take it in stride. he's good until he lashes out under extreme pressure, and suddenly he's called demon. and once again he's what heaven made him out to be. what he made himself to be, his brain would ruthlessly provide...

i don't think he wants to be that, though he hides secrets behind secrets of which neither identity is a home... but i don't think he wants to have to change, either. and i don't think that's wrong of him.

...you collapse atlantis ONE TIME and all of a sudden YOU'RE the bad guy and SURE it was FUN but REALLY now,--

[rolandkaros]

forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.

[idolomantises]

ngl, the more I think about it, the more I feel conflicted over how people sexualize my characters.

On the one hand, it would be silly to deny that I don't go out of my way to create aesthetically pleasing/attractive characters because I love to draw what I enjoy, and I love it when people simp for them.

But on the other hand, sometimes it does bother me that people are so fixated on sex and their own arousal that they miss important lore/plot information that I get a bit frustrated

[bitchfitch]

I've started playing Potion Permit, and so far it's one of my favorite games I've messed around with, but the most big brained move the devs made was giving you a dog on day 1, and then making that dog able to track NPCs and lead you directly to them no matter where they are in the town.

[yourfavoritepeanutbutter]

horrible guilty pleasure comfort thing at the moment is reading dsmp fanfics (mainly SBI hurt/comfort) 😔 and it’s just like. UGHHHHH. i miss it so bad. is it bad that i miss like. the dream smp. before everything fell apart and people were shitty. like. i lowkey would kill to experience the joy i did being 13/14 years old in 2020-early 2022 and watching those livestreams. and it’s just like. UGH.

now everyone is weird. the only ones i trust and keep up with anymore are like the ones who were literally teenagers/the age i am now during it (tommy, tubbo, ranboo) and i like keeping up with phil just bc he’s fun and seems polite.

but like. i was never into dream so when stuff came out about him i was like oh yeah fuck him. but nothing will explain the sheer dread when the stuff on wilbur came out. like. i was SOOOO into his music and lovejoy was actually really good imo, as someone who is genuinely into music and not just following along like “oo my favorite youtuber made music” like it was actually GOOD and i showed it to my dad and we tried getting tickets and i was sad i couldn’t and it’s just. what the fuck???

once again. UGH. i miss the vibes. i miss making my dramatic fanart and screaming over the average lore just because it was FUN.

i got close with some of my closest friends and even closer with already close friends by connecting over that little minecraft thing. i have a lmanburg flag folded in my closet and copious drawings of the streamers as their characters. i just miss it.

i feel like i cant find anything with the same vibe either since starting to reread the fanfics. like maybe if i start watching hermit craft? please feel free to leave suggestions!!!!!!!!!

[clonedchaos]

Okay, so— like.

I’m doing drag queen/king camp this week and HOLY CRAP I did not realize the amount of thought and effort that goes into this work of art. Like, kudos to all the drag icons because it’s only day one and I’m scrambling to try and figure everything out.

All I know is I am neither drag king or queen, I am a drag thing. At least, that’s what they’re referring to it as.

Like, I want my performance to confuse the heck out of the audience over what my persona’s gender is. Are they male? Female? Nonbinary? Yes and no all at the same time.

I feel like that’s part of the idea I want to portray here. I’m a cis female (I don’t care if ppl refer to me as “they” irl or online tho, it doesn’t bother me), but I always referred to myself as a “tomboy” growing up for one reason or another. I want this character to challenge the very gender roles that we as a society fostered into being. Breaking boundaries and being between the lines of what constitutes as a “man” or a “woman”, that’s what I want my persona to represent. They don’t fit into any one category, simply because they don’t need to. They’re just a person. A silly goober, if you will.

As for the fit— thanks to my friend’s advisement — I’m thinking of a 1940s Flapper Dress paired with some more masc attire in shoes, makeup, and maybe hat and tie. It would be very fun and something I’d honestly wear outside of drag. Like DANG 1940s fits are FIRE 🔥! I can get a top hat, add the feathers, wear the gloves, etc. (Yes my friends told me I should make the drag outfit Batim inspired since it’s my fixation and maybe this is my excuse for that, but I really do enjoy the Golden Era of film and media culture of that time period. Either way it works in my favor)

And, of course, I couldn’t resist taking some inspiration from Luz’s Grom outfit from The Owl House. Can you blame me though? I mean, look at it!

Very demure, very mindful, very slay. 💅

Coming up with names and a personality is something I’m going to have to come up with later in the week when I have more time. :3

So sorry if I’m not as active on any of my accounts this week. I’ll try to write when I can, but I have a lot on my plate between work, school, and planning my drag persona and performance. Maybe I’ll ramble more about this if anyone is interested. For now… I need to study (Y’all I was sick all last week and didn’t go to school and apparently I have an exam tomorrow that I didn’t study for I’m SO cooked 🙏😭)