#AND i think it makes a nice parallel for my thoughts on victoria

[femmeleatherface]

update: i finished the second doctor's run and all the three stooges shorts in the same week because the timing was just that impeccable. i AM still thinking about this and have more coherent (but also even more incoherent) thoughts now

in the "three stooges wind up in a doctor who scenario" flip-flop:

i believe even more strongly that it would be best that it's ww2-era stooges and they wind up in a dalek storyline, if only in deference to the stooges being the first to have their explicitly anti-nazi film sneak past censors to theaters. you've got so many parallels between that era and classic who: saving the day from genocidal fascists who want you dead... way way wayyyy too much yellowface oh my god...

setup isn't really necessary but if we must then it starts as a nice ordinary productive day for the stooges being terrible at being nice ordinary productive members of society. and then a mad scientist with a guy in a shittyass gorilla suit in a cage mad sciences them away to the doctor who universe

dr. howard, dr. fine, dr. howard are our wonderful and terrible heroes. who is THE doctor, though? depends on who you ask…

instead of dressing up and mocking fascists, the stooges have to climb into a dalek body to dress up and mock them, and it very much just becomes this:

the daleks are absolutely the straight men in this scenario and baffled by the lack of logic in everything's that happening. if they had hair they would be pulling it. hell, maybe one dalek has a bad toupee and pulls it just for the sight gag. idk

a dalek starts giving a monologue about how superior and amazing they are and the stooges tell it to shut up, poke it in the eyepiece, and shoves it down the stairs. the episode then ends with the stooges making their own monologue about how great and amazing america is. it is unclear how self-aware this is meant to be

this may or may not become a retelling of "the evil of the daleks," except they wind up with the stooges for their human factor tests and everything goes absolutely haywire because the three stooges are the WORST humans you could pick for this. maybe they were in league with the mad scientist with the shittyass gorilla suit man

needless to say, the human factor, once extracted, results in the daleks acting... honestly probably just as goofy as they act in the OG episode (choo-choo!)

that said a dalek DOES hold a pie with its toilet plunger arm and it DOES get thrown in someone's face in climactic pie fight. why would you think this would not happen. is this because of the stooges' human factor? or has this dalek simply succumbed to the madness? no clue. civil war definitely still happens though

curly regenerates into shemp regenerates into joe. or, bonus points: shemp regenerates into curly regenerates back into shemp regenerates into fake shemp and then regenerates into joe

meanwhile, in the "doctor and co. wind up in a three stooges scenario" flop-flip:

i'm torn between having this be a retelling of a doctor who episode that just happens to be in a three stooges logic universe, or just plop them in one of the stooges' 1950s sci-fi shorts. or being its own thing but that requires too much brainpower for what is ultimately a very long shitpost

"enemy of the world" would be great for the first route, the moe/hitler comparison is right there. but "outer space jitters" would be a fun one for the second route. landing on a planet where the inhabitants are planning to use cavemen zombies to conquer earth feels very much like it should be a doctor who episode already

jamie and zoe are the companions. jamie because OF COURSE and zoe because her mathematical brain cannot comprehend what's happening and she must use the events of the episode to learn about the rule of funny and how it trumps all known scientific law

but also if victoria WERE there, could she please beat the snot out of some guy while ranting about how horrible he is for picking on a poor, helpless, defenseless woman? it feels like something that needs to happen

the episode opens with the doctor and co checking things out on the viewscreen, and they are shocked that there is a literal caption on the image: "planet moronika: where the men are men and the women are glad of it." this is their first clue they have wound up in some weird universe

the second clue is them being struck by urges to poke each other in the eyes and knock each other's heads together and all-around smack each other around and this for some reason NOT resulting in constant incapacitation and merely temporary annoyance is

third clue that finally allows them to put the pieces together is them enduring some slasher movie level violence that SHOULD have killed them, but teehee haha, they have slapstick comedians' superpowers of walking off things like houses falling on them

(also this is a lost episode and these moments of violence are the only extant parts because they were removed by censors in other countries <333)

men whistling at zoe (in her flashy sequin suit) and any other female characters is really weird and confusing for the tardis crew because, i mean. this is old school doctor who. nobody's allowed to do anything more scandalous than chastely hug each other with all their clothes (and multiple extra layers) firmly on

meanwhile, totally unrelatedly, the following exchange definitely happens:

jamie and the doctor: [kiss ""accidentally""] jamie: "ack! i've been poisoned!" [smack] the doctor: 🙄

also the trio definitely do the "heads stacked while poking around a corner" gag that they already do in a couple real doctor who episodes, but i unfortunately can't remember which ones specifically for imaging purposes so enjoy this three stooges publicity photo to demonstrate:

zoe and the doctor get a mad scientist moment. unfortunately, they put too much yeast in the mad science. it does not end well

jamie encounters the scottish stereotypes of the stooge shorts "the hot scots" and "scotched in scotland." hijinks ensue

footage is blatantly reused from previously episodes--and not just brief clips but whole scenes, even gags from previous installments in this very serial. the characters realize they are in some horrible timeloop. for reasons. oh no!!!

someone is fake shemped and it is REALLY obvious. like if frazer hines being replaced for one episode was not integrated into the story and just happened completely out of nowhere with zero explanation. the doctor is the only one that can't tell when he's talking to a fake shemp due due to faceblindness

the doctor, zoe, and jamie spend the night in a triple bunk bed with no ladder. there are of course hijinks and it does of course end in the doctor being squashed beneath three mattresses and a bajillion planks of wood

the doctor and co crawl back to the tardis at the end of the episode just completely filthy, covered in dust and food and ink and eggs and also clutching a single extremely delicious-looking pie they saved from the slaughter. they try to escape to go somewhere where they can eat the pie in peace, but oh no! the stoogiverse won't let them go! but why? zoe realizes: the rule of funny must be satisfied. with great reluctance, she shoves the pie in the doctor or jamie's faces. the tardis finally leaves. the end

so i'm watching old three stooges shorts during the intervals in my doctor who watch where i have to track down/listen to audio reconstructions of lost episodes. it's been taking a while because audio dramas do not agree with my brain At All, but at last i'm up to the second doctor now!

and i don't know about anyone else, but when i was a little kid i remember thinking that the second doctor and moe howard were the same guy. they're not, obviously, but even as an adult whenever i see either of them it trips me up for a second. and needless to say i have been getting tripped up a LOT lately as i wade my way through season 4 doctor who recons.

it's definitely the hair above all else. maybe also the faces and mannerisms.

anyway... totally unrelated but i now really need one of the following:

the three stooges--comprised of dr. howard, dr. fine, and dr. howard, naturally--wind up in a doctor who scenario and must save whatever nosy situation they have found themselves in. considering their wartime shorts and adventures in moronika, i think it would be delightful to see them go up against the daleks and save the day as schmaltzily and cartoonishly as possible while everyone else plays it straight and is so confused by these demented nyuk-nyukers.

the second doctor and his companions wind up in a space/time that operates on three stooges logic. shenanigans ensue. i'm unfortunately not far enough into the second doctor to have ideas for the shenanigans, but if anyone else does feel free to share! rules are only that there must be outlandish slapstick violence to make the bbc quiver in its boots.

[the--highlanders]

whenever I think about zoe being aspec it's always like. obviously to an aspec viewer there's a lot about her that's relatable, especially in the wheel in space, where she relates to other people so differently and experiences relationships in a way which she knows is non-normative, but which she can't 'fix' and doesn't altogether hate - she just hates the way she's perceived. and over the course of her travels she doesn't change herself, just becomes more comfortable with relating to others as she is, and that lets her open up more. I'm preaching to the choir here ik ik you get it.

but from an in-universe perspective the way she relates to people is explicitly down to her training, rather than (exclusively) anything about zoe herself:

which obviously doesn't negate the way she comes across to the audience! but it /does/ make things interesting in-universe, because presumably the emotions she's been encouraged to neglect include anything approaching sexual/romantic attraction. she's probably been trained out of questioning that side of herself along with everything else.

so if you want to explore aspec zoe I just feel like that potentially leaves you with a scenario where she starts travelling with the tardis, starts working through all the parts of her humanity she's been missing out on, starts trying to figure out what attraction means for her, and there's just. nothing. which would throw her for a loop, right!! she's trying to reclaim all the parts of her that have been neglected, and she's still left with a gaping hole where other people have /something/. is this something she'll never fully develop, like gemma told her, or is this just an innate part of her? so she ends up coming around to the desperation to feel something and the difficulty of identifying an absence of feeling, and ultimately to having to learn to embrace it not because of her upbringing but in spite of it.

[arcadiabaytornado]

Live Playing Double Exposure First Thoughts:

A: Okay, I do love that you can pick Max’s outfit right away. I chose the rainbow sweater.

B: This sounds over dramatic but it was so intense to see Max’s face again. For a very brief moment I was 13 again watching Max wake up in the storm.

C: Am I insane or all the sounds in this game like…muffled?? I have my audio settings all the way up so it’s not that. Speaking of settings I also took the motion blur off and the graphics look so much now.

More Undercut

D: I’m already finding it super interesting that Max finds comfort in the destruction of old buildings after hell week. That could mean a lot of things but I’ll wait to see if the game tells me before I get analytical.

E: I love Safiya already. PLEASE let her be a love interest.

F: I do love the camera mechanism!!!!

G: Max lost her powers after hell week? That’s also super interesting holy shit. I’d love to know more about that, though my guess is that Max maybe completed her purpose with her power and therefore lost it? I wonder what that would mean for Daniel and Alex….

H: I’m trying to not to think of Chloe to much, but man she would have loved an old abandoned bowling alley.

I: Getting used to older Max is an adjustment. She doesn’t feel out of character per se, but it is weird because I keep expecting her to act like her eighteen year old self and then she doesn’t because she’s older now.

J: Older Max is already coming off as a lot more confident/reckless than younger Max. I like that change a lot!

K: I don’t know how I feel about Max making a one liner every time I examine anything.

L: Ah fuck. Is fate after Safiya or Max this time.

M: Did they really put the “We will :)” flashback right before making us confirm that Max and Chloe broke up. I’m going to fight Decknine.

N: Max is never beating the autism allegations.

O: I know people are upset at the “high school sweetheart” line but in context it seems like Max is trying to deflect the conversation to not talk about what Chloe actually was to her.

P: The texts between Max and Chloe were so uncomfortable to read. I know the storm changed them both, but….i don’t know…it just seems weird that Chloe reacted like that to Max wanting to move in with her permanently. I’m getting the vibe that their relationship was mentally and emotionally over on Chloe’s end way before it was on Max’s end.

Q: Max is ghosting her parents now and that devastates me.

R: Can I have a middle ground option on Amanda? I’m not ready for Max to have a huge crush yet, but I wouldn’t say she’s not Max’s type.

S: Okay, the Chloe/Victoria thing seems like fanfiction. It’s the only thing so far that I’ve gone “ugh” at.

T: The Vortex Club parallel is not lost on me.

U: I’m sorry but Max’s eyes look so bad…she also looks like she had a different model from every other character for some reason??

V: I’m just going for it and saying “A date thing” If Safiya is a romance choice later on I’m going to be so mad. But that’s what other saves are for.

W: Hearing Chloe’s name is a jump-scare at this point lmao.

X: I’m loving Moses. He’s so awkward and seems really sweet. Which makes me scared he’ll be the killer because the LIS franchise does not let us have nice things.

Y: I don’t even know how Max is SUPPOSED to talk about what she’s running from regardless if she sacrificed Chloe or the Bay.

Z: I wonder if they’re going to give Max’s power a celestial explanation and that’s what’s with all the solar system imagery.

[daisywords]

5, 6, 9 for 2024 reads asks :)

5. Crowd Pleaser: Book you would recommend to almost anyone

Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis

Listen. It's really Great Literature. Also it's really good. You get it. Feels fantasy-esque enough to recommend to fantasy fans but also High Quality Literature enough to recommend to people that don't know how to have fun. Made me experience shrimp emotions and feel personally attacked and have blorbo thoughts but also it's like objectively really excellent stuff. Best thing C.S. Lewis ever wrote imo. Would recommend if you are religious or if you aren't. wow. I need to reread this book. It's not even that long; I read it in one day. If you write it will make you a better writer. if you are a human being it will make you understand something new about being a human being.

6. Dead Dove Do Not Eat: Book you would recommend to a select audience with a mountain of caveats

The Heretic by Nathan R. Allen Okay so the thing about this book is that it had serious pacing problems (in my opinion) and some things that made me cringe But. but. So many of the speculative elements are super unique and interesting and cool! Cool world, cool magic systems, compelling main plotline (once we finally got there lol) and character dynamics that made me want to corner the author somewhere and grab him by the shoulders and say WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THIS??? (complimentary [I think]) So I would recommend it to select people that I think would be interested enough in the good stuff to see past the flaws. Now that I've issued my vague cautions, here's a vague pitch: Disabled Magic/Tech PhD student has to scout for state secrets by going undercover to train as an enhanced supersoldier in order to get his brother out of being drafted. If that sounds interesting to you, and you're interested in a really cool magic system that interacts cleverly with a decent spy-type plot, and you can handle the fact that it sometimes feels like a chore to get through, I might recommend it. Anyway. Just kid of frustrates me because this book was okay but it could have been so good if it was good, you know?

9. Compels Me Though: Okay, maybe not all of it made sense, but you had a great time anyway

The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard I have mixed feelings about the direction and execution of this book, but at the end of the day I enjoyed it very much. This was pitched to me as being similar to The Goblin Emperor, which I love, so I decided to check it out. I can definitely see the parallels, so I would pass that on as a recommendation. It feels like if the author read The Goblin Emperor and transparently took the elements she found the most compelling and took off with them. However. As a book I don't think it's very tightly executed and gets a little self-righteous and self-indulgent especially toward the end. It feels like the author started with a premise and then ran with it for a really long time as far as it would take her. A very very long book that doesn't finish quite where it started. I can see several reasons why someone could get very annoyed with this book. But it was such a nice read! I loved really getting to know the characters and the world (very extensive, interesting worldbuilding! And the world feels really vibrant and lived-in!). There was some very heartwarming and cathartic moments, and the characters were very endearing. The length and meandering pace allowed for a richness that really payed off in some places.

[cto10121]

Midnight Sun Part 2!!! Possibly my favorite section; I could not put it down, especially the rescue part. I did have Des Notes, though:

“It wasn’t really a difficult ask.” Nope, no way a vampire from 1901 would say this 2020s slang in 2006. Don’t slip up, Meyer!!! Or get better editors!!!

Alice introducing herself to Edward by hugging him and calling him brother and Edward going like “Yep, legit” will never not be great

Edward lying in bed and nearly giving Bella a heart attack with his sluttishness is almost worse in his POV, omg. How the fuck does that happen

Edward reading Tooth and Claw just because Bella recommended it. Remind me again why some people don’t like Edward?

Wait—Edward describes Bella’s scent as “lavender” or “freesia.” One of Bella’s favorite scents is lavender, as well as clean laundry. And she blushed when she looked at Edward, clearly thinking about his scent. Could Edward’s scent actually…be similar to Bella’s? Is that why her scent affects him so powerfully? Holy shit.

Edward “It was enlightening and alluring to watch her in her element” (Bella *eating Cheerios*) 🤝 Romeo “See how she leans her cheek upon her hand” (Juliet: *leaning her cheek on her hand*)

“Bella had gone to the other room to calm her mother. And then the vision had overtaken Alice.” Nice way to cover up that little plot hole, very enterprising

“The image of myself astride the sleek black motorcycle was so appealing that for a second I ignored her” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣 It’s giving Terminator. Love it. Also, what a great parallel to Bella’s motorcycle adventures

Very ambivalent about the highway scene. Otoh, it’s interesting and clever and detailed how the Cullens worked together. Otoh, it’s over the top at places! Like why did they flip the car into upcoming traffic????? Why did they even have to switch cars to begin with????? Meyer really should avoid full-length action scenes (I did like the Victoria fight in Eclipse, though)

Ngl, the James hunt is probably better than in Twilight, if just because Edward is at the front of the action. Still amazing how James slipped away from them

“Bella’s blood was the opposite of pain. It erased every burn I’d ever suffered. And it was so much more than just the absence of pain. It was satisfaction, it was bliss. I felt suffused with a strange kind of joy—a joy of the body alone. I was healed and alive, every nerve ending thrumming with contentment.” The Metaphor(tm) has now become literal.

Book Edward *drinking Bella’s blood*: ✨Bliss ✨🥰 >>>>>> Movie Edward: *gnaws on Bella’s arm like a chicken wing*

“The chuckle that bubbled up from my chest surprised me. I had her blood on her tongue. It was probably tinting the edges of my irises red even now. It was drying into my clothes and dyeing my skin. But she could still make me laugh”

Jasper looks so dangerous to other vampires that James just…accepts his fate. Like welp, guess I’ll die. Iconic

“Why am I towing that ridiculous truck?” Okay, the Cullens hating Bella’s truck is officially a gag.

“For a moment, I imagined Renée as a vampire. Would her thoughts shout audibly at everyone, inescapable?” Nice foreshadowing/Easter egg for Renesmee. So there is a meaning and rationale behind the name other than Bella’s corniness.

That section where Edward watches James’ video and is so overcome with rage and despair and then starts to pray for the strength to leave Bella…that passage was so well-written I was nearly crying

Re: Edward’s decision to leave Bella, It is genius on Meyer’s part (or, well, just practical) to make the obstacles internal instead of external. Edward needs to deal with the consequences of leaving Bella and learn from his mistakes

Finished and in sum: This was great and only gets better in the re-reading. There is a lot of whinging and whining over certain aspects, mostly by anti fans, but those didn’t really bother me. Most lines were taken out of context, as they always do, and spun into something questionable; in context they were fine. Then there are those who say it is better and better-written than Twilight, but I disagree. Twilight was much better structured and less superfluous in detail than Midnight Sun, which could get bogged down in minute-to-minute summary. That said, Midnight Sun does have the advantage that all the dynamic change and development are on Edward’s side than Bella’s, as in a proper Beauty and the Beast telling. But Bella’s story does have power and is arguably more subversive than Edward’s. I think the two complement ultimately each other—the subtext of Twilight is the text of Midnight Sun, and vice versa. Reading both gets you a more complete picture…which the TV show would undoubtedly fuck up in some way if they decide to use parts of Midnight Sun. Le sigh.

[moveslikejaggeria]

IM NOT DONE. i said i finished season two. we gotta talk about it

christmas special: im including the christmas special here because it’s tennant’s doctor and not eccleston (and i wonder what his christmas special might have looked like in a parallel universe)

poor rose tyler. i mean, her sort-of boyfriend forgot to mention that he changes shape (sometimes). bit of a red flag if you ask me /j. at least she’s got her mother there to help her and mickey’s there too. obligatory Poor Mickey here as well. still waiting to talk about mickey. give it some time, it’ll come

so. the santa drones are attracted to the earth bc they can sense the doctor’s regeneration energy. so they are here to kidnap him and use him as a battery or energy source. but then the Real aliens show up (and they were controlling the santa bots remotely?? the santa bots make No sense to me. what is the point of them other than to create action and fear in the episode. lame. they come back next year too but with a bit of a better purpose

if eccleston and jackie’s interactions were wild, then tennant’s are absolutely Feral. i love it. man just needs some tea. also harriet jones is back!! and i thought she became prime minister much later, but it is quite interesting how all the people involved in torchwood act (wink wink, nudge nudge). the doctor shoots her down with some good old fashioned earth sexism, but that doesnt come until the end. and i struggle to decide whether she truly deserved it or not

rose tries her best and in the end she is helpless (theyre always helpless. well not always. but frequently) and the doctor comes and saves the day. again i am confused bc earlier the robots wanted the doctor for energy but these aliens want to enslave the human race?? and they seem to not even know about the doctor. all in all, a Fine episode. good episode. nice entrance for tennant’s doctor. love that he eats christmas dinner with rose’s family. i wonder if the actor’s got any say in what their doctor outfit would be bc the tenth doctor’s is Perfect. also love that he decides he just wears glasses now

episode one: season two is a bit hit or miss i think, especially compared to eccleston. however, the first episode is GOLDEN and should be kept in the library of congress or whatever. this episode is where billie piper gets to show off and shine and she does it Brilliantly. casandra is back somehow and there are cat nun-nurses and the face of boe and…its a good episode. the conclusion is a bit Eh, but every time the doctor gets to save the world and no one dies is usually a good episode. if you want my recommendations for what to watch or skip, watch all of season one (including the christmas special) and this one. will update

episode two: another wonderful one! queen victoria is played wonderfully and rose and the doctor’s relationship Really shine again here. LET DAVID TENNANT BE SCOTTISH!!! he deserves it. i dont have much to say about this episode ig. bad wolf is mentioned briefly again bc there are Werewolves in this episode (or at least one) and he can sense it in rose somehow. i think becauseallgoodheroesdeservekidneys synopsis and analysis of this episode is better than anything i could come up with (although interestingly, clara—who is a companion much later—plays queen victoria in another series. idk just interesting to me). watch this one

episode three: i dont like this one. the drama between rose and sarah jane smith is weird and very schoolgirl—which i suppose fits the episode theme, but just feels like poor writing. they end up bonding, but it’s still very weird. mickey’s there again and we continue building and building up to where im like “leave her (rose) ass mickey!” bc in the beginning, mickey definitely didn’t deserve rose, but then he went through this thing called “character development” and he really does deserve better. we’re getting there. he is a much better sport about his girlfriend(?) running off with another man and eventually falling in love with him than i would be. the main villain is really good and intriguing and the plot is definitely interesting too. for all it’s faults, i wouldn’t skip this one. there’s also a metal/robot dog so…

episode four: i love this one so much. everything about this episode is wonderful. i don’t know if i could find the words to describe it. the doctor’s relationship with Madame de Pompadour and their interactions and…just watch this one. it’s good. one of the best, i think •)

episode five and six: remember how i said pete tyler’s an ass? this two parter really proves it. but don’t worry, he will redeem himself (sort of). the start of this one is a bit confusing, but this episode is big for mickey, despite not featuring him as much as the other characters. i mean he is for sure prominent. and he goes through even more character growth. we also learn a bit more about his backstory, which is nice. in the end he decides to permanently stay in the parallel universe, with no promise of ever seeing rose or anyone from his world again, and frankly i don’t blame him. he has hit his redemption where he definitely deserves to move on from rose AND his nan is still alive in this world, and mickey deserves good things. he deserves to get to prevent her death in this world too. rose is sad about it, which is understandable, bc he has always been there for her while she’s been with the doctor. but in the end they have both grown away from each other and while they obviously both still love each other, it is time to move on.

this is the first episode(s) with real actual cybermen and they are Scary. you’ve also got a parallel universe, which is intriguing in and of itself. there’s also blimps. this one does feel a bit “Technology Bad” but i think the doctor speaks some truth when he says that for a species with free will and determination, we do enjoy being told what to do and submitting ourselves to a higher authority. the doctor who crew accidentally invented the airpods ten years early. you should watch these for sure. not only are they good episodes, but they are also really important for the season finale.

episode seven: this episode deals with familial abuse and it does it really poorly. the doctor and rose frequently interact with a family consisting of an abusive and sexist father, his wife, their son, and a grandma. ig they set up the father’s redemption arc bc he buys the family a television even though he thinks they’re stupid. but the dad is awful. when the grandma get’s her face stolen, the dad reports her to the police so they come and take her away (the mom wants to protect her and keep her at home), he makes his wife do Everything, he makes fun of his wife in front of their friends, and yells at his son A Lot. the doctor and rose Acknowledge that this guy is a piece of shit. but when all is said and done, the wife kicks the husband out bc the house is in her mother’s name and then rose tells the son to go After his dad and forgive him, because that’s just how dads are. that is Not how dads should be, and i understand that this is the 1950s, but Rose is from the 21st century and even still: dad’s should not be like that!! good riddance! the mom was very brave standing up for herself and kicking him out. first time rose tyler Foul.

HOWEVER, we do get a rose tyler win, where she figures out what’s going on before the doctor does. her face gets sucked into a television, which means the doctor has to save her, but she returns the favor a couple episodes later so. i give this one an Eh rating, which means watch it if you really want to, but it’s not anything special or necessary to the plot

episode eight and nine: i’ll be honest in my rewatch, i skipped these episodes. they’re a bit too religious-y for my taste and it gives off “atheist struggling with absolute proof of God existing” which is not a plot i enjoy unfortunately. i think the only good part about this episode is that it introduces us to the ood, who become very important later. they are one of my favorite species and the later episode is one of my favorites. personally i skipped it, so you could too!!

episode ten: you’ll never believe it, i skipped this one too. it’s not that it’s not an interesting episode, it’s just not my cup of tea, i suppose. elton is eccentric to say the least, and not in a way that i enjoyed. and he ends up dating a chunk of sidewalk. the actor who plays moaning myrtle is in this one and she is who ends up playing the sidewalk chunk. the doctor frequently is very mean to humans (weird) and has to be reminded to tone it down a bit, but frankly i understand it for elton. i would snap at elton. i cant remember if there are any relevant plot elements, but otherwise this one is a Skip for me

episode eleven: i almost skipped this one too (i must’ve been in a skipping mood) but then i realized the season was almost over and billie piper is leaving us in three episodes, two of which being the season finale, so i felt i owed her at least one more pleasant episode before her send-off. i will admit that the concept for this one is Fascinating and it’s close to when Rose is from, but not quite. they must have had a relatively tight budget because while there are frequent aliens, they always seem to be on earth. in fact there’s only four episodes this season that don’t take place on earth (and the parallel universe earth doesn’t count because that’s still earth!!). too much earth for my liking. the roadman is quite funny and i enjoyed his character. also this is the episode where rose has to figure everything out and fix it—although she still gets help from the doctor AND the doctor is who gets to deliver the olympic torch, so. another Eh episode; skip or don’t.

season finale: THIS is the episode i was talking about earlier where people pull cybermen in from a parallel universe. i am torn because while i think the concept of this is so Brilliant and wonderful, it also feels quite rushed. we have almost no warning for this finale—the finale that is piper’s last (officially)—and it’s set up all dramatically. these are the episodes where pete tyler redeems himself, although it is very weird to me that pete tyler from one universe (who watched his wife die) gets together with jackie (who watched her husband die) and theres almost no strife in that. personally, that is a bit uncomfy. i think i would need more time to process that my spouse is back alive, but also it’s not actually them (they may look and act the same, both they are Different people from who they used to know), and all the trauma we’ve both been through. but jackie gets pregnant almost immediately ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what do i know

mickey’s back too. and while i am frustrated that he comes back for rose and sticks with her, he is there to save the world. it’s not like he made an Active choice to come back; he was not the one who punched a hole in the universe. i wonder if he and rose get back together because guess what?? jackie, pete, mickey, his friends, and rose all get sent to the parallel world while the doctor saves the og world. and there’s no possibility of either the doctor or rose ever seeing each other again after that. i mean the doctor uses a supernova to say goodbye, but rose is no longer a companion. both david tennant AND billie piper do an amazing job: rose is sobbing uncontrollably And unconsolably while the doctor just stares. i mean its Perfect and so them. cue classic scene where the doctor disappears before he can tell rose he loves her on the beach. rip

additionally, guess who! the daleks are back in addition to the cybermen! ive said multiple times how i feel about the daleks, but they are quite the op nemesis. the scene where the daleks and cybermen interact is quite funny, but the daleks destroy the cybermen very easily, no contest. meaning that the cybermen are my personal og doctor who villain; they are over powered—but not to an absurd extent, they make the same statement about how important emotions are—even the negative ones, their design is cool, they don’t have an absurd, over complicated backstory (they are invented! not constantly re-re-re-re-re-re-introduced whenever the writers are bored). although i do have to say that the daleks in this episode are interesting!! they have names and a semi-valid backstory. you know me, though: the void ball is kinda stupid. i dont think i have to tell you to watch this one

christmas special: that’s right!! david tennant’s second christmas special and oh my god, is it a hoot and a holler (do people still say that? white people probably still do). may i introduce to you the best doctor who companion by a long shot, no competition: donna noble. oh my god she is the best fucking character ever. and her relationship with the doctor is Top Tier. like, God Tier. like i should have to pay extra to watch this. like i own all of season four and have it downloaded on my tablet so i can watch whenever i fancy and don’t have to worry about streaming services (spoiler alert: donna comes back, but you gotta wait a season. trust me its worth it). like if you never watch any doctor who but wanna watch an episode or two, watch this one (or maybe some of the season four episodes. but this ones good bc its donna and the doctor meeting for the first time). i think this comes down to catherine tate (who plays donna) and david tennant having Wonderful chemistry together and is why they have continued to work together past doctor who. david tennant has chemistry with so many people bc he is an amazing actor (to be fair, so is catherine tate And michael sheen, who tennant also now frequently works with)

alright. the episode. enough of my ramblings and ravings. not only is the episode incredibly hilarious, dare i say the most hilarious thus far, it also is a bit heart-wrenching. you see, dona’s fiance has actually been poisoning her for six months and only dated her and agreed to get married for that reason. donna’s family is kinda nasty to her—even though donna disappears while walking down the aisle and misses her wedding, her family starts the reception without her. let me repeat that: donna’s family throws a party after she disappears and they have no idea where she went or if she’s okay. i’ll admit that donna is a bit brash and probably would be difficult to deal with in real life, but like. human decency??? and the doctor is of course still mourning and moping about rose. he deserves a nice laugh with donna to distract himself.

the special effects are amazing too. like there is a giant spider thing who looks amazing. the doctor and donna go to watch the earth form (i’ll save my comments about the earth forming around a space ship 🙄), there’s a hole to the center of the earth (i enjoy this episode so much, that i am letting myself move past these stupid plot points), they drain the river’s thames!! the stupid fiance gets eaten, the spider is still an absolute girlboss. the doctor declines christmas dinner with donna and even lies that he’ll he back, before running off (i thought this was a bit weird, but i suppose his last christmas was with rose and it’s probably all a bit sore. but he should enjoy a nice christmas feast!) he also makes it snow for donna to cheer her up. it’s just an amazing episode. everyone should watch it. it should be mandatory

THE MUSIC!! i forgot about the music!! so the music in doctor who, at least seasons 1-4 is Amazing. rose tyler has a bad wolf theme, and donna noble gets her own theme, and they’re Great. my two expertises are music and writing and so i have to touch on No.2 because it also passes the test! wonderful wonderful wonderful

i have been inspired by @becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys to rewatch Doctor Who because I find their chronological journey endlessly intriguing and endearing and has reminded me of my favorite episodes

going into it i have to say that my favorite doctors probably go 10-9-12-11 (even though im aware they’ve messed a bit with the numerics?? i mean tennant-eccleston-capaldi-smith) and my favorite companion by far is donna. her relationship and banter with the doctor is So perfect (esp post rose). rose is always great and she is an excellent foil to both 9 and 10. martha wouldve been so good!! if not for her crush on the doctor!! ruins her character and im so glad she eventually moves on and fulfills her badass-ery (although im not pleased it was the military -_-). amy was…i think a wet sock is truly a great description and rory is…worse. i think they did clara just as dirty as martha and i remember disliking her, but i dont remember much or why so maybe its just bc she was so poorly utilized. and bill. bill my beloved. she, too, deserved so much better.

anyway i watched episode one and. eccleston’s doctor is meaner than i remember. i think he needs more time to warm up to rose. and the reason i didnt like mickey is bc. he is useless and also treats rose poorly (which i think he improves as the series continues but, he is Awful in this episode). there are so many episodes i vaguely remember and get so excited to watch again!!

[imgoingtofreakoutnow]

After watching The Sandman and falling completely in love with Hob Gadling and Ferdinand Kingsley, I've jumped into Victoria without a second thought after finding out that our beloved Ferdie starred in it.

I have now finished the first season and, apart from really liking the show, my mind has slowly been creating this AU in which Charles Francatelli, the character Ferdinand plays in Victoria, is actually one of Hob Gadling's alter egos through the centuries.

There is quite a resemblance between the two characters' personalities and there have been a couple of scenes that made me scream: "Omg, this would be such a nice parallel with the Sandman!"

So here's my essay:

"WHY CHARLES FRANCATELLI AND HOB GADLING ARE THE SAME PERSON"

Warning: there will be Victoria S1 and The Sandman S1 spoilers

Firstly and foremost, I have to aknowledge the obvious: they're both golden retrievers. This is quite an easy one, but both of the characters are so kind and genuine and have an incredible joy for life, from what I was able to see, that you simply cannot love them immediately!

In Victoria, Francatelli is a great chef. Like, an incredibly good chef. And it would makes sense that Hob Gadling, an immortal who must have lived thousands of lives, might have become incredibly good at many things, cooking being one of it.

Francatelli, as a chef, is always looking for new flavours and combinations and he's delighted when Nancy, a dressmaker he then falls in love with, suggests adding something to enhance his already great work. And this love for novelty really reminds me of another character we all know...

This love for new things is also shown when he shows Nancy (yes, I will talk a lot about her, so what?) the ice they have in the palace and you can tell he's so happy that he can show her something unexpected and new (just as Hob was so passionate when telling Dream about all those changes he had witnessed in 1489)

In episode 1x06 of Victoria, Francatelli quite literally faces the indian plague in the London slums to go rescue Nancy's cousin and her baby and he puts them in a better accomodation. Now, his gesture alone makes him a brave man that we know Hob already is, but also it would make sense that Hob Gadling, a man who cannot die, would go in a place like that to help someone else (even if it is to impress the woman he loves)

Still in 1x06 of Victoria, after helping her, Francatelli asks Nancy for something in return, and what does he wants, I hear you ask? Her FUCKING NAME! When I tell you I screamed at that scene because a) OMG, THIS MAN IS THE MOST ADORABLE CUTIEPIE THAT I'VE EVER SEEN ON TELEVISION WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT REAL??? b) obviously Hob Gadling, who's spent the last 400 years meeting with and crushing on a stranger who never revealed his name, would want to know first thing first the name of the person he's falling in love with!

In 1x07 of Victoria, Francatelli prepares a dinner date and a special dessert for Nancy (he literally creates it just for her!) and, apart from the fact that all that scene is just so. freaking. adorable!, all I could think of was Hob and the big feast he arranged to impress Dream in 1589. This man really read somewhere that "the quickest way to your crush's heart is through their stomach" and blindly believed it.

The fact that we know close to nothing about Francatelli's backstory lets my mind wonder... we just know that he worked his way to get where he is and that he comes from a lowly background, which could easily apply to Hob (quick reminder, I'm still in S1, so they might delve into Charles' backstory more in future seasons)

Also, very small detail, but Francatelli says at some point that "he never forgets a face" and, I don't know, I feel like Hob could have a good memory for people. Remembering those he met and lost along the way; friends, family, lovers and so on...

These are my main thoughts for now. I will add more as they come to me and as I watch more seasons (I've already spoiled myself quite a bit of the third season and GOD!, there are some good and painful parallel right there!)

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my ramblings! :D

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[similistic]

Books of 2021

Favorites: (in order of date read)

- Graceling by Kristin Cashore This was recommended to me by Diana (again LOL), although I had heard of it before, it hadn’t really been strongly on my radar. Graceling is book one in the series and my favorite by far. I think the main characters reminded me a little of On Fortune’s Wheel, one of my old favorites (that I should reread again soon I think). Fire is book two, and I gave it five stars. I also read and enjoyed books three and four, which got 4 and 3 stars from me respectively.

- Dear Ijeawele by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie A non-fiction collection of letters on the topic of many things, but based on suggestions on how to raise our daughters.

- The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip A recommendation of Elizabeth Lim’s favorite fantasy novels. I described it as "Tolkien-esque, but made more palatable for younger readers."

- Dear Girls by Ali Wong I thought it was sort of feminist and empowering, but in a very different way than Dear Ijeawele. More like a sleepover with your high school/college girlfriends.

- Dealing with Dragons / Talking to Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede Another Elizabeth Lim recommendation from the same Instagram reel. I ended up reading al four books in the series, and enjoyed them all, but the first one is the best, in my opinion. A very nice “unconventional princess” story. Talking to Dragons is book four and is very tongue in cheek about traditional hero stories.

- A Court of Thorns and Roses / A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas Recommended to me by basically everyone, but I finally caved when someone told me that ACoTaR was a Beauty and the Beast retelling. I’m a sucker for BatB retellings and I was not let down. ACoMaF is very very different (the same friend described it as a Hades/Persephone retelling). The plot of the series can give you a bit of whiplash. I also read and enjoyed book 3 but thought it was much weaker and it didn’t make me interested in reading book 4, which came out this year.

- A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers Loved it, wanted more, but book two isn’t slated to come out until next year, and I don’t trust publishers to keep their word so I’m trying not to hold my breath on it. The world reminded me weirdly of The Giver (Lois Lowry), even though it... is not at all related. Robots.

- The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang A genderbent retelling of “Pretty Woman” where the main female character is austistic. I read it and then immediately wanted to reread it.

5-Star Ratings in 2021:

Fiction--

- The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu Really epic; Asian inspired world building.

- Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier Another Elizabeth Lim rec; Wild Swans (ATU451) retelling.

- Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir More similar to The Martian than Artemis was, but with a more fantastical element.

- Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim Lim’s “Wild Swans” retelling; Asian-inspired world building.

Nonfiction---

- The Story of Stuff by Annie Leonard Consumerism and it’s impact.

- Educated by Tara Westover A memoir written by someone who grew up off the grid.

- Dear Memory by Victoria Chang Poetry in the form of letters that really resonated with me, as this woman’s life closely paralleled that of my close family.

[midnight-in-town]

I've been reading up on all your UT theories and--what if UT/Cedric K. Ros- (Cross?) left the Shinigami and became a Phantomhive butler under Claudia & fathered Vincent? (also a parallel to Grell!) I always thought this, considering the theme of butlers being given new names, but UT's reaction to Polaris' outburst in the latest chapter (i.e. "if I were to lose you again, I would never be able to rest in peace, even in death... because I am a butler, even in death"), I am convinced

Hello Anon and thanks for reading! So, about this idea of yours: 

“what if UT/Cedric K. Ros- (Cross?) became a Phantomhive butler under Claudia & fathered Vincent? (also a parallel to Grell!)”

It’s true that I’m a believer of the UT = Cedric K. Ros, so I agree that he fathered Vincent and Frances. :)

However, while I know it’s tempting to imagine that UT used to be Claudia’s butler (since, indeed, most iconic duos of this series are made of a master and their butler), personally I disagree with this theory for 4 reasons! 

Butlers aren’t the only characters who received an identity in Kuro

In fact, it’s a theme of the series for many characters to act on behalf of the identity they’ve taken for themselves (Finny, Noah’s Ark, Snake, our!Ciel himself, etc).

So while I agree that UT was possibly once given the name “Cedric” by Claudia, this doesn’t imply that it was necessarily because he was her butler. :) 

UT’s lockets

I’d also like to remind you that Claudia’s locket is not the only one on UT’s chain and he apparently referred to all of them as his “treasure”.

So, unless we’re to assume he was the butler of all these people represented by the lockets, I think it’s hard to assume that UT was Claudia’s butler when he apparently met many humans he did enjoy/care about, after he deserted.

Also Seb found no link between the different people represented by the lockets, so they can’t all be fellow servants of the Phantomhive household (for instance). Speaking of which...

Tanaka’s character

If UT used to be Claudia’s butler, then what about Tanaka’s character, who’s also a butler?

After all, we know that Tanaka has been around the household since Claudia’s days as the Watchdog, as well as since Vincent and Frances’ childhood. 

So I don’t think Claudia would have had 2 butlers (not considering the usual master & butler duos amongst the series) and I also don’t think UT trained Tanaka because, in ch151, UT said...

Of course, it’s hard to know whether he was telling the truth or lying in this whole chapter (since whoever he used to be is gone, now he’s only “the Undertaker”), but still, I think Tanaka as both Claudia’s and then Vincent’s butler makes more sense with what we’ve seen so far of the past.

Of course I can be wrong, but actually...

I think UT rather used to act as/be a nobleman 

And I made a whole post about this idea here. :3 In other words, I’m overall more fond of the theory that UT used to possibly be “Earl Phantomhive” before Vincent, while “the Watchdog” was Claudia. [x]

As for UT’s reaction to Polaris’ words in the newest chapter, hm, well...

...it’s actually hard to interpret it, because :

UT could simply be worried about Polaris not lasting as a bizarre doll (since BDs need “episodes” of quality to keep on functioning, as much as they need edited records and, as we now know, blood transfusions)

UT could be thinking about “not being able to rest” until he’s finished what he’s trying to achieve through the BD project, and that even if the Shinigamis catch him, or Victoria or Seb get in his way

since it’s definitely a flashback arc (Ciel’s, Mey’s, etc), maybe UT could be thinking about the life he led before he killed himself

And that’s only 3 ideas out of many possibilities. 

Frankly speaking though, maybe UT once had a master he served, but then again...

UT’s character does seem to enjoy the freedom to think and act entirely for himself (or for what pleases him), because he’s been existing for a long time. So after being such a skilled Shinigami and deserting, because he possibly found some huge dirt on their higher-ups, I find it hard to believe that he’d have been happy as someone’s butler. But again, I can be absolutely wrong!

TL;DR I understand why some fans choose to follow the idea that UT used to be Claudia’s butler, considering that we had many master/butler duos in the series so far. For now, it’s simply not my favorite possibility though. :)

I hope I managed to explain my point of view? Please have a nice day, Anon! :3

Hello Anon and thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)) 

Actually, I have no idea if Yana means for UT to be a real-life historical figure but, to be honest, if Sensei wants to introduce actual historical people in the main cast then my money’s not on UT. After all, Yana is Japanese, so I don’t know how much she would know about England’s History (and, I mean, this is quite the specific historical fact). 

So who knows! Personally, I’d rather bet on Tanaka as an actual historical figure within the main cast. :)) [x][x]

Thanks again for sharing your idea and have a nice day Anon!

[artificialqueens]

Come Home to My Heart, Chapter 8 (Lemyanka) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 ✨| previous chapters

A/N: wow… I can’t believe there are only two chapters left after this one… that’s crazy. This little story is my baby now so I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading it! <3

-8-

“Ouch!” Scarlett yelled as soon as Priyanka pinched her arm. “What was that for?”

“You’re friends with Lemon on Facebook? What the fuck?”

“Ah, yeah…” She rubbed her arm. “She befriended me a while ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We live together.”

“I didn’t believe you’d mind and I thought she would add you too. I don’t know, I probably was high as fuck.” Scarlett sipped her Frappuccino.

“You, Kiara, and my mother back-stabbed me. I can’t believe it.”

“If it’s any consolation, she only posts pictures with her friends and when she’s at the dance studio… also, she spends an unhealthy amount of time rambling about The Sims.”

Seemed about right.

“I’m more worried about the pictures I appear as «tagged» on your page.”

“Yeah, you’re like a hot mess there.”

Priyanka and Scarlett went for a beverage that afternoon after stopping by the mechanical workshop to check on Priyanka’s car –it was still uncertain and the mechanic had ordered a few pieces that were supposed to arrive later that week- luckily her parents had lent her the family car for the afternoon.

Priyanka had ordered a strawberry smoothie but almost forgot about it. Her thoughts were somewhere else.

“Priyanka, are you there?” Scarlett called her.

“Yeah, sorry…”

“Girl, you’re like… gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Uhm…”

Scarlett sat with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. She had cut her hair recently and the tips of her blonde bob were perfectly symmetric, it was almost in discordance with her rock-star-punk-grunge aesthetic of ripped fishnets, piercings, and leather jackets but Priyanka knew her better, she was just a softie who had cried with The Little Mermaid.

Goddammit. Don’t you see the subtext of female liberation, Priyanka? She had said with tears in her eyes.

“Nothing… only that you’ve been distracted lately. How weird is it that this behavior coincides with the return of certain someone to your life? Odd, isn’t it?”

“Cut the sarcasm… I know what you’re implying. Lemon helped me out the other day only because that’s what any person would’ve done.”

“No, you’re overestimating human kindness. Trust me, spending your entire afternoon with someone to help them with their… how did she call it?”

“Jalopy.”

“I mean, accurate.” Priyanka stuck her tongue out. “What I’m saying is that’s a big gesture and you should take it as a white flag from her.”

“When you’re right, you’re right.”

“So… what are you going to do now?” Scarlett inquired.

“I have no idea… You’re the second person who said something like that. Denali thought she was provoking me the other night in the club –she’s out of her mind- but she also said that I should make the next move.”

“I agree.”

“But what if I make a fool of myself in the process?”

“That wouldn’t be a novelty.”

“Fuck you.”

Scarlett lighted up a cigarette.

Right at that moment, Boa walked out of the café with an Iced Americano in her hand, she spotted both girls sitting outside and approached them.

“Hey, you two! I was going to text you later today.” She greeted both of them.

“Hey, girl.” Scarlett waved.

“Hi, Boa! Nice to see you.” Priyanka hugged her.

“So listen, some of the girls –myself included- are planning a little day at that lake that’s like half an hour from here and since the more the merrier, maybe you’d want to join us.”

“Sounds cool. Do you have a date in mind?”

“We set Thursday but if any of you guys can’t we could change it.”

“No, I think Thursday is fine for all of us. Priyanka?”

Priyanka had her thoughts floating like a cloud.

“When you say «some of the girls»… you mean?”

“Tynomi, Kyne, me…” She began listing.

“Boa we’re looking for a name started with «L», five letters, common yellow fruit used often in the kitchen.” Priyanka elbowed Scarlett.

“Oh! Yeah… We’re trying to convince Lemon to go too. She wasn’t into the whole nature thing but…” She cleared her throat. “If we convinced some more people maybe she’d change her mind.”

“Great so we’ll be there.” Scarlett wrapped her arm around Priyanka. “Text me the details later.”

“Sure, see you on Thursday!”

“Bye…” Priyanka smiled and when the girl walked away, she immediately turned to Scarlett. “What was that?”

“«Thank you, Scarlett, you’re such a good friend» you’re very welcome, Priyanka.” She put out her cigarette. “I did what it had to be done.”

“I see… but what if Lemon doesn’t show up?”

“She will be there and even if she doesn’t we could still have a nice day on the lake or whatever. Jeez, do I need to give you a pep talk whenever we plan something?”

“We’ll need a car, I can’t borrow my parent’s car all week and you came here by bus. Can Juice drive us there?”

“Yeah about that… Juice broke up with me.”

Priyanka frowned. “I thought you guys weren’t dating.”

“We weren’t, that’s why she gave me an ultimatum.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“I said I’d think about it.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“She agrees with you, obviously.” Scarlett leaned back on the chair. “However, I never wanted to break her heart with promises I wasn’t sure I was going to fulfill. I never promised her more than what I gave and it worked for some time.”

“Until it didn’t…”

It wasn’t shocking for Priyanka, she had always known that Juice wanted more but Scarlett –being the stubborn she was- never was going to admit she felt the same way, instead, she acted reluctant whenever the idea of having a serious relationship was brought.

“Scarlett, are you sure this is what you want?”

“Listen, what’s the point of starting a relationship with someone who doesn’t live in the same city.”

“She lives literally half an hour from Toronto.”

“Besides, I don’t want to give my freedom away… I don’t see myself ready to be in a relationship and you can’t say anything, you haven’t dated anyone for more than three days.” Scarlett pointed.

“Well, you got me there but this isn’t about me… don’t you see it? You’re about to lose something real and why? Because you’re scared of admitting you want it too.”

Scarlett looked down. “She deserves better than me…” She whispered.

“You idiot, she doesn’t want better, she wants you and you alone.”

“I feel like you’re insulting me somewhere there but…”

“Scarlett, focus.”

“You’re right, okay? I’m scared, I don’t want to hurt her and I’m terrified I might be too stupid to make a mistake or something… and now I don’t know what to do, I’m not a romantic person, I know nothing about big gestures…”

“Maybe roses? Carriage rides? Singing songs under the starry sky?”

“Gross…” She paused. “maybe roses though.”

“You did set the bar very low so…”

“Oh, shut up.”

“C’mon, I’ll drop you at her house.”

After taking Scarlett back to Juice’s house for what hopefully meant there would be a reconciliation between them –Priyanka had her fingers crossed- in the meantime, she stopped by her brother’s house. She had promised one of her nieces she’d take her to rent some DVDs they would watch after dinner.

It took less than five minutes to lose her at the video store.

“Mel? Mel?!” She started looking around. “Where did you go?”

Priyanka heard her voice coming from one parallel aisle.

“You’re very pretty.”

“Aw, thank you…you’re very pretty too.”

Priyanka also recognized that voice.

“Are you lost?”

She felt undoubtedly relieved when she found her niece chatting with Lemon who had kneeled on the floor to be at the same height.

“What’s your name?” Lemon asked the little girl.

“I’m Melanie.”

“Nice to meet you, Melanie. I’m Lemon, like the fruit.”

“Nice to meet you… Miss Lemon.”

“Did you come here with your mom? With your dad?”

She shook her head. “With my auntie.”

“Ah, I see… What do you say if we look for your auntie?”

“She’s right there.” She pointed at Priyanka behind her.

Lemon turned around and met the brunette’s eyes.

“Oh. It’s you, auntie… I should’ve guessed.”

“The resemblance is uncanny, isn’t it?” Priyanka smiled proudly.

Lemon was wearing a yellow and white striped long dress with buttons in the front, white sneakers, and had her hair tied in a French braid.

“You really convinced your brother to name his daughter like two-fifths of the Spice Girls, didn’t you?”

Priyanka rushed and covered her niece’s ears. “Shhhh… He doesn’t know that yet. It took me seven of the nine months of my sister-in-law’s pregnancy to plant the idea… neither Ginger nor Emma were working, so it was down to Melanie or Victoria.”

Lemon chuckled.

The brunette released the little girl from her grip. “Mel, go pick the movie you like but stay close where I can see you, alright?”

The little girl nodded and skipped with joy toward the kids’ movie section.

Priyanka looked at Lemon. “What are you doing here?”

“Getting my nails done, obviously.” She had a DVD box in her hands.

Priyanka rolled her eyes. “Knowing you, it must be… let me see, either Legally Blonde, Clueless, something with Meg Ryan on it, or… Drop Dead Gorgeous.”

She showed the title on the box. It was Drop Dead Gorgeous, a movie Lemon worshiped for her love for beauty pageants and bizarre humor.

“Rita has never watched it, can you believe it?”

“And you’re looking for new ways to traumatize her.”

“That might be my mission on Earth all along, spread the words of wisdom that come from this film.” She tapped the box with her acrylic nails.

Priyanka peeped over her shoulder to check on her niece who was still deciding between two Disney movies.

“So… are you going to the lake thing Boa’s planning?” The brunette asked as casually as she could.

Lemon shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not that into nature and being eaten by bugs…”

“Oh, so she’s a city girl now.”

“Listen, I spent a good ten years of my life going camping with my dad and hating every second of it. I thought it was finally over when I moved.”

“The girls and I are going… and I’m sure we’re taking some type of booze with us, snacks, a campfire… It will be fun.”

Lemon tilted her head. “I didn’t know you wanted me to go.”

Priyanka felt the heat on her cheeks. “Boa said the more the merrier… plus my car is still at the workshop and Scarlett might have screwed up her relationship with the one person that has a car among us.”

“So you need a ride… that’s it?”

“Yeah… and it’ll be fun being all together again.”

“Sure… okay. I’ll tell Rita and we’ll be there.”

“Really?”

She nodded.

At that moment, Priyanka’s niece returned with a DVD of Brave in her hand.

“Are you dating my auntie Pri?” She asked unscrupulous and unfiltered like any six-year-old.

Priyanka’s mouth dropped to the floor.

“Mel! You can’t ask people… That’s not… You don’t get to…”

“But daddy said that you like girls and that if you were going to date someone it would be a girl… and she’s a girl.”

Logic.

Lemon covered her mouth with her hand, she was blushing underneath.

“Mel just because I’m talking to a girl it doesn’t mean that I’m dating her.”

“But she’s pretty… she’s prettier than you.”

“Oh, I like her.” Lemon giggled.

“Hey! You little brat, who’s the one renting movies with you.”

Traitors.

“Why aren’t you dating her, auntie Pri?” Priyanka covered the girl’s mouth.

She was asking the real questions.

“Okay, I think it’s time to go home. Brave, huh? Good choice.” She looked at Lemon. “See you on Thursday…?”

The blonde smiled. “I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay, great.”

“Goodbye, Priyanka. Bye, Mel.” She waved at them.

The girl barely had the chance to wave back since her aunt dragged her to the line of the checkout counter. She stared at Priyanka with her wide brown eyes.

“What is it?”

“You like her.” Mel said with a mischievous look on her face.

“Shhh… keep it low…” She looked around to check Lemon wasn’t around. “You can’t just say those things, Mel. Exposing people’s feelings isn’t right.”

“So you like her.”

“Jeez, calm down Regina George.”

“Who’s Regina Gorge?”

“It doesn’t matter… The thing is… Lemon and I are… friends? Just that, okay? We’ve known each other since we were your age and I don’t think she likes me that way.”

“Have you asked her?” Her niece inquired.

“Well, no…”

“Why not?”

“Because…” She was scared of the potential answer to that question. “It’s complicated… growing up is complicated.”

“I don’t want to grow up never.” She whined.

“Me neither.”

Priyanka took the DVD to register it and pay for it.

Brave, sure.

On Thursday morning, Priyanka received a call from Scarlett, she explained that things with Juice were smooth sailing and that –since they had left the problems aside- she was going to pick her at home. In the car, there were Juice, Scarlett, Kiara, Denali, and Priyanka whereas Lemon and Rita had relocated in a different car.

The day started on the wrong foot since that change in scheduling but Priyanka had the hope it could only get better from there. She had a full breakfast with her parents and then prepared her things in a backpack, including sunscreen, snacks, a towel, and things only her mom could remember to include –and that she yelled from downstairs to make sure Priyanka would remember.

Priyanka brushed her hair and tied it into a ponytail, then she put her turquoise bikini on –she liked how the color looked against her skin-, grabbed a pair of denim shorts with embroidered flowers and a white cotton tank top. She found a pair of aviator sunglasses on the drawer of her room that were definitely her sister’s –emphasis on the «were»- and with a pair of flip-flops, she was ready.

Boa had said that it was allowed to swim on the lake where the water was shallow and that there was a lifeguard just in case. The weather was in their favor, the day was all warm and sunny even when it started with a couple of clouds, it had cleared up since then. Her mother reminded her to take a light jacket with her because it could get colder during the evening.

Priyanka was about to argue with her when she heard the sound of the horn outside. She put the jacket on her backpack and said goodbye to her mom before opening the entrance door.

To her surprise, there was an egg yolk car parked in front of her house.

Lemon rolled down her window. “Get in loser, we’re going to a lake… for some reason.”

She had a pair of heart-shaped pink sunglasses resting on top of her head and a lollipop on her hand.

“What is this?”

“I told you I was going to pick you up.” She unlocked the passenger’s door.

Priyanka got in the car and buckled up. Her entire body was tingling.

“I thought you were sharing a car with the other girls.”

“Don’t change the plans I’ve already set, I’m a Virgo.”

“Don’t you have a bumper sticker with that written on it?”

“I’m glad someone has finally seen it.”

Priyanka threw her backpack on the backseat and noticed how empty it was.

“Wait, what about Rita? Wasn’t she coming with you?”

Lemon got the car moving.

“No, I pushed her down the stairs yesterday.” She said, dead serious. “I’m just kidding; I went to pick some things from Tynomi’s place, Kiara and she were speaking in French and got along well so she decided to go with them. Because of that, I have the trunk full with two coolers and their bags so –for their own good- I hope they gave me the right address.”

Just then it hit Priyanka it was just the two of them for the next half hour.

Lemon looked lovely with a yellow poplin puff-sleeve crop top with little lemons embroidered around the neckline and a pair of navy paper bag shorts. The strips of a bright yellow swimsuit could be seen underneath her clothes and she was driving with sneakers because driving with flip-flops is hell but overall the look screamed summer in the Italian Riviera with a glass of limoncello.

And well, Priyanka was gay and thirsty.

“Did you hear what I said?” Lemon asked raising an eyebrow when they stopped in a red traffic light.

“Something about music…?” It was a wild guess and she would be lying if she said her fingers weren’t crossed.

“Yes, can you put something on the radio?”

Priyanka scanned the CDs on the glove compartment and finally decided for the always great Good Girl Gone Bad –just because she wanted Shut Up and Drive to play while Lemon was driving- and because it had some iconic bops.

“Are you certain about the route we’re taking?” The brunette asked.

“What do you mean?” Lemon clicked her tongue. “I know how to follow directions. I also have a map… I’m a strong independent woman who needs no instruction on how to get to a stupid lake in the middle of nowhere-”

“Hello, my friend and I are lost; do you know which is the best way to get to the lake?” Priyanka had to pat herself on the back for that level of fake kindness, she even batted her lashes.

Lemon, on the driver’s seat, kept grumbling something in a low voice.

“Yeah, you’re almost there, it’s five minutes from here… you have to take the next entry to the left and then continue straight forward. You’ll be there in the blink of an eye.”

“Thanks, good man. We appreciate it.” She waved at the man at the gas station. Then she turned to Lemon. “You see? It wasn’t that difficult.”

“We were almost there.”

“Yes, except for the fact that we’ve been driving around in circles for the past fifteen minutes. I told you it was the right entry.”

Lemon huffed and puffed like a child.

Priyanka attempted to skip one of the songs but the blonde interfered by pushing her hand aside. Priyanka crossed her arms on her chest and pretended to be offended.

Just like the man had said, in no time they spotted the lake entrance.

Lemon sighed of relief while Priyanka cheered.

“Yay! We made it!”

Once they got closer, they agreed it was all worthy. The beautiful scenery of the lake with crystalline blue water framed by the rows of mountains covered in green and leafy pine trees left them in awe.

A figure waved at them –probably one of the girls- they were gathered in a small semicircle that resembled a beach with dirt and gravel next to a wooden port. There were other people around, families, some kids playing in the water, swimmers, boats, and canoes.

Lemon parked the car in an empty spot among others, some of the girls helped them with the coolers and the bags that were on the truck.

“Good night, ladies.” Scarlett mocked.

“You two finally made it.” Boa grabbed one of the coolers with the other girl’s help.

Priyanka was about to say something about their delay in the same joking tone but she caught a glimpse of Lemon, she was serious, noticeably embarrassed by the situation. So instead, she cackled and played it down.

“Yeah, can you believe I told her the wrong entry on the highway? Lemon almost killed me we were spinning around for like fifteen minutes, right?” She looked at the blonde and subtly winked.

“Ah, yeah…” Lemon’s eyes were big just like a deer caught in headlights, the tips of her ears turned red just like her cheeks. “But we’re here… so… it doesn’t matter.”

“Priyanka you dumbass, we’ve come this way before.” Scarlett nagged her.

“Oh, shut up… I forgot.” She picked her backpack and threw it over her shoulder. Lemon hadn’t moved. “Hey, let’s go. We have all day ahead.”

The blonde nodded and locked the car before following them to the port.

The view was even more breathtaking up close as the sunlight shone onto the waters of the lake, it also glinted on the gold rims of Priyanka’s glasses and bathed her completely in a warm sensation.

They were received with cheers –especially since they have the food on the coolers and it was almost noon-, she saw Kiara applying some suntan oil and chatting with Rita and Starzy over a small wooden harbor, as soon as Scarlett and Boa arrived with the cooler, the blonde started an argument with Ilona over the best way to ensemble a tent –and repeatedly called each other “sis”-, Kyne, Tynomi and Juice ignored them and started setting a grill.

“You didn’t have to lie to cover my blunder.” Lemon whispered.

“I know.” Priyanka stretched her arms. “I figured you’ve suffered enough for one morning. If you’re feeling generous you can get me a drink or something in return.”

Lemon scoffed. “Get it yourself.” She started walking to where Rita, Starzy, and Kiara were but before she was further in distance, she turned around. “Thank you, though.”

Priyanka smiled at her and then went to help the other girls with the food. They entrusted her washing the vegetables at some gazebo nearby with a little kitchen and a sink. Tynomi helped her peeling and cutting once she was done and then they prepared the skewers. Scarlett’s pyromania was helpful to light the fire, although the flame that rose in the air caused quite a fuss.

Right when Priyanka put the last skewer on the trade for Tynomi to take it to the grill, a paper cup with pink lemonade and ice appeared in front of her, Lemon held it steadily.

“Oh, hey there.” Priyanka took a sip, it was sweet and it had something that kicked in. “Thank goodness this has alcohol on it.”

“It’s vodka, careful with the empty stomach, though.”

“Signature cocktail?”

Lemon shrugged. “I guess it falls into the category of colorful and sugary.”

“I don’t know if it’s because it’s hot as fuck but this is actually delicious.”

“Of course it’s delicious, I made it.”

“That’s obvious; you can taste the modesty on it.” Lemon made a childish grimace. “Have you jumped in the water yet?”

“I just soaked my feet for a little.”

“And?”

“Cold like a penguin’s butt.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

Lemon took the cup back and drank a sip, her lip gloss stained the material. She kept biting her bottom lip as if she wanted to say something but she sneaked out to help Boa with something when Priyanka wasn’t looking.

In that part of the lake it was allowed to camp and there were several tents set around the land, there were also a couple of forest rangers roaming around –probably attracted by the fake fire alarm- but the girls had been clever enough to keep the bottles saved in the coolers.  They all ate vegetable skewers and hamburgers sitting in a big circle and drank beer and cranberry vodka in paper cups.

Someone had brought a radio and they all sang Stars Are Blind when it played. After having lunch they stayed there reminiscing and telling stories from school. They were all laughing and cracking jokes it took Priyanka by surprise when the story of her seven minutes in heaven was brought.

“More like seven minutes in hell.” She gagged.

She re-told the story for those who hadn’t heard it and then realized that Lemon was among those people. The blonde hadn’t said a word since she started her narration, in fact, she paid attention to every word that came out of her mouth. She didn’t laugh when Priyanka tried to minimize she kissed a guy she didn’t want to kiss or when she tried to use the humor as a shield as she had done before.

“What an asshole.” She said when the brunette finished the story. She was angry and it showed. She was so mad she had sobered up.

“Yeah… but on the bright side… that helped me realize things. It was enlightening, I dare to say… even when that closet was dark as fuck.”

“Still… I hope he chokes or something.” Lemon was fuming.

Later on, Ilona exposed Scarlett who had claimed to be in detention many times in high school when she was just in the library, studying. Even when she tried to argue, Priyanka caught her friend sitting right next to Juice as she tenderly held her and stroked her hand with her thumb. She assumed things were alright with them now and couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of what they had.

Vodka, it’s me… I have seen what you did for others…

Lemon told a story about one time she got lost in the subway with their friends and they almost ended in Staten Island –Priyanka refrained from commenting on the fact that Lemon wasn’t good at following indications, indeed- and Denali, the only non-Canadian of their panel discussion mentioned it had happened to her as well.

“I’ll be in New York for a competition in a few months.”

“You should come to visit me.” Lemon smiled brightly.

“That would be fun… Priyanka could come as well.” She stared at the brunette who gaped at her in surprise. “And tell me, do you have any single friend?”

“I’ve got some… yeah. I could make some arrangements.”

“I’d love that.”

“Slut-Nali.”

“Proudly.”

Later during the afternoon, some of the girls were brave enough to try to dive in the shallow waters of the lake, Priyanka among them, and, she regretted the moment her body made contact with the glistening surface but once her body was fully immersed it was like a shot of adrenaline in her body.

She surely looked like she had seen a ghost when she emerged because Lemon laughed loudly at her. The blonde was cozily sunbathing on the shoreline at an unsafe distance for someone mocking the swimmers.

Priyanka moved her arms toward her.

“Don’t you dare… Priyanka, I swear to God if you even try-”

The cold droplets touched her skin before she could finish that sentence.

The blonde squirmed and squealed.

“Bitch…” She shook the water off her body.

“Who’s laughing now?” She moved like a fish in the water.

“You won’t be laughing when you need your towel to get out.” Lemon waved it like a flag.

“Listen, you…” Priyanka started walking out of the water, the other girl was already running.

It was way colder out of the water and it took the brunette a minute to get used to, get her flip flops, and chase after Lemon who still had her towel on her hands. She hid behind Rita and stuck her tongue out, the girl caught in the middle raised her hands in a sign of rendition. They were like a couple of kids. Priyanka was about to say something when Scarlett and Juice came near them.

“Hey, we rented a boat over there and we were wondering if you would like to come with us.” Juice grinned.

“I pass, I’m not going on a boat ride with these two.” Rita pointed at them, Lemon was still looking over her shoulder.

“Pri, Lemon? What about you?”

“Sure… it would be fun, as soon as this bitch gives me my towel back.” Priyanka cast an accusing glance at the blonde.

Lemon threw the towel directly to her face.

“What’s so thrilling about a boat ride?” She asked while Priyanka wrapped herself in the towel.

“You said the same about coming here today and yet you’re having a good time, right?” Lemon shrugged. “C’mon, I’m not going to push you in the water or something.”

“Now I know for a fact that you’ll try to push me into the water.”

“Are you possibly scared?” She taunted.

“I’m not scared of a boat if that’s what you’re saying.”

“It’s settled then, we’ll meet you in five minutes over the pier where the boats are moored.” Scarlett grabbed Juice’s hand and they walked away.

Priyanka put her shorts and sunglasses on; she grabbed her bag and hung it over her shoulder. She checked on Lemon when she was done putting clothes on too.

“Ready?”

The blonde hesitated for a moment. “I guess.”

“Listen, there’s really nothing to be scared of, we’ll get life jackets and everything.”

“That’s not- Never mind.” She shook her head and grabbed her things. “Let’s go.”

Juice and Scarlett were already waiting for them with their life jackets on, they explained to the girls how to put them on.

“You two get in the boat and we’ll untie the knots and push it in the water.” Scarlett indicated.

The boat was made of wood and painted in white with matching paddles, the name Perseverance was written in blue on one of the sides.

Lemon sat first and she helped Priyanka to get in.

“Did you know it’s bad luck to change a boat’s name?” She told Priyanka. “It’s said they always sink if you do.”

“We should double-check this isn’t repainted or something underneath, right?”

“Why? Are you scared?” Lemon mocked.

Priyanka elbowed her.

Juice was done with the knot and she jumped in the water to help Scarlett.

“Okay, one, two… three.” They pushed the boat that swayed a little with the waves before stabilizing.

“Have fun you two!” Juice waved at them.

“Wait…” It took Priyanka a moment before understanding what was going on. “Hey!”

“Oh my God…”

The girls behind were cackling as the boat was carried further by the water stream.

“I think we’ve been set up.”

“There might be a chance, yeah.”

Scarlett mouthed a soft «Sorry» but Priyanka knew she wasn’t regretting anything. This had to be planned beforehand and she had a vague idea what the point was. She stared at Lemon who had picked up one of the paddles and was examining it.

“Do you think we can go back?”

“I doubt that we can row against this current.” She declared after taking a look at how the water kept taking them away from the coast. “Our best chance is to let it drag us down to calmer waters where we can paddle from to the closest coast.”

“You really learned a few scout things when you were camping with your dad, didn’t you?”

“Aren’t you glad I did?” She smirked.

Certainly, Priyanka was glad because at least one of them had a clue of what to do and how to get them out of that situation but, at the same time, it meant that they were going to be stuck for a while in that boat.

As they started moving away from the coast, the silhouettes of his friends became blurry and they were surrounded by the vast scenery of the mountains and the woods. The sun was lukewarm and the little waves rocked the boat like a cradle, it was soothing.

Priyanka laid on the floorboards and looked at the clouds crossing the sky. Lemon watched the water around the boat to eventually join the brunette.

“This is nice,” Priyanka whispered. “I think it’s the longest we’ve been without arguing or bitching.”

Lemon chuckled. Priyanka looked at her and could see every detail of her face, the curve of her lips the little mole over them, the tip of her nose, the length of her lashes, the color of her eyes…

Suddenly she felt shy.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that I can be an annoying bitch sometimes but you’re the one person that’s always there for me…” Lemon murmured.

Priyanka’s cheeks turned red. “What?”

“That’s the first line of the last e-mail I wrote for you after we… drifted apart.”

“I never received it.”

“I never sent it.” She fidgeted nervously. “I don’t know if it would have made any difference, you seemed pretty determined to me.”

So they were going to talk about it. It was the conversation neither of them had brought up for the longest time but it was there, lingering in the air like a dark cloud of unsolved problems.

“I needed to put some distance between us…” Priyanka felt the unavoidable knot on her throat like whenever someone touched the subject. “I wasn’t being honest with you… I was scared. You had these plans that didn’t include me in your future, I felt like I was being left out while my plans always included you.”

“Priyanka, I had to move forward to survive… Yes, I met new people, I made new friends and I set new goals but you were never out of the picture. It was difficult for me because I don’t know, you were always the one that everyone liked instantly and you made friends in a heartbeat without even trying it. Your friends were our friends because of that but when I was on my own… I feel like I’m more an acquired taste, people tend to like me better when they know me but until then…”

She sighed.

“I had these problems that seemed small in proportion and I didn’t want to become a burden for you, being so far away from each other. I just wanted to share the good parts. You were the only thing in my life that felt like a constant and then… you were gone.”

She looked at Lemon in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever apologized for that. And just for the record, small problems, big problems… I should’ve been there for you no matter what. Back in the day, I don’t know… it’s not an excuse but I felt like it was easier to push you away and that you got to live a life without me at some point.”

“Why?” Lemon frowned.

“I don’t know.” Priyanka lied. “I didn’t want to be a burden either.”

“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t know what to expect when I saw you here but, these last couple of days I realized how much I had missed you. I wrote that in the e-mail too, I wish I had sent it.”

Priyanka’s heart skipped a beat.

“Me too.” The brunette spoke clearly. “I’m freaking proud of you and everything you’ve achieved… What I’ve heard because I didn’t befriend your New York friends on Facebook to find out.”

“They were my friends too. I didn’t add them only to stalk you or something like that. And, for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing amazing too… aside from that car of yours.”

“Laugh all you want but I bought that car to go visit you in New York someday.”

Lemon sat straight on the boat. “You were going to drive all the way there in that to visit me? That counts as risking your life, you know?”

“Well… yeah… that was the idea. I wanted to see you.” Priyanka sat down as well.

“Pri…”

“And you only came back for your dad’s wedding… why did you come back now? After so long?”

“My dad’s wedding was… an event. It would’ve been fun to have you there though, there was so much booze.”

“They can always renew their vows.”

Lemon laughed. “Well, and as I told you before, my mom was going on a cruise ship so I wanted to visit everyone here. The fact that it coincided with your visit was mind-blowing for me too.”

“Were you mad?”

“Yes, I was fuming.”

They both started laughing at loud.

“I’m not going to lie I did want to start a fight that day in the dining… and later on the club… and on the cereal aisle…”

Priyanka threw water from the lake at the girl’s face.

“Hey! Don’t!” Lemon shook her head. “I think it got on my eyes wait…”

“Oh no, sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

Priyanka got closer but at that moment the other girl counterattacked with some more water.

“Bitch…”

“You deserved it.” She cleaned some drops. “But I think it really got on my eyes, can you hand me my bag.”

Priyanka’s face was still wet but she did as she asked.

“Shit, my contact lenses are falling.” She looked through her bag until she found the container.

“Do you need help with that?”

“No, just a second…” She removed both contact lenses and saved them back. “Better.”

“I’m over here.” Priyanka mocked.

“Fine… I can’t see beyond my hand.”

“I know that.”

“Could you get me my glasses? They are there, somewhere…”

“Yeah, let me…”

Lemon’s bag had lip gloss, sunscreen, candy… transparent frame glasses.

“Here.” She put them in her hand.

“Don’t make fun of me.” She mumbled. “I never wear these in public…”

“Lemon, I’ve known you for ages I do remember how you look like with glasses on.”

Priyanka took them back and opened the temples before placing them gently on the blonde’s face. She adjusted the nose pads above her nose and removed some hairs out of her face.

“There,” She looked proud of her work. “See, nothing less than stunning.”

Lemon had a beaming smile on her face, she’d never look bad with or without glasses on.

She didn’t realize how close they were until Lemon batted her lashes. She could’ve kissed her right there but instead, she just moved away with her pulse running wild and her face feeling hot and no sunshine to blame for it.

The blonde extended her little finger as a white flag. “Are we good?”

Priyanka sighed with relief. “Best friends forever.” She sealed the pinky promise.

However, the word «friends» tasted bitter on her tongue.

“That’s right.” She was still holding their fingers together. “Priyanka and Lemon, Lemon and Priyanka.”

“You won’t happen to have something to eat in that bag of yours, will you?”

“I think I packed some Oreos this morning.”

“You’re my hero.”

It was almost sunset by the time they got back to the coast and they still had to border the lake to get back where the other girls were. Nonetheless, the setting of the sun was a spectacle they watched in awe as the daytime ended with the sun’s departure.

It was starting to get cold and Priyanka was the only one who had brought a jacket so she lent it to Lemon –it looked a bit oversized but she still looked good on it.

They walked for a little before meeting the rest of the group, luckily the place was fully enlightened and they had made sure they hadn’t gone too far to lose sight of the camping area. The other girls welcomed them back with a big cheer, some of them were already setting a little fire to toast marshmallows and sing songs with a guitar.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Lemon headed to the public toilet while Priyanka joined the circle around the bonfire.

“So…” Denali sat next to her right away. “How did that go?”

“You knew.” Priyanka crossed her arms on her chest. “I can’t believe it, y’all helped to orchestrate this stunt.”

“…maybe. But it was for a good cause.”

“Which one?”

“Getting you a girlfriend.”

Priyanka rolled her eyes.

“I swear…”

“What happened over there?” Scarlett, Kiara, and Juice surrounded her like a group of teenagers.

“She doesn’t want to spill the details.”

“That’s because nothing happened and you should mind your own business.”

“What do you mean nothing happened? You two were there for like two hours.”

“We did talk about why we first fought and other things but it’s nothing close to what you think so you should drop it. I’m being serious right now.” She cleared her throat. “Lemon and I are friends… that’s it. Don’t try to push it further because it’s not going to happen.”

It was clear at that point that fixing their friendship was more important than risking her feelings; maybe she could tell Lemon one day and they could laugh about it just like they had done earlier but, at that moment, things were very recent and fragile to drop any more information into the mix. Priyanka wanted to have her on her life and she wasn’t going to lose her best friend over some unrequited love she had.

If she had dealt with it most of her life, she surely could do it again.

The girls protested but they sat back in their places. Lemon joined them shortly after, she sat next to Priyanka, the sleeves of her jacket looked like sweater paws on her.

“Hey, do you mind going back with the girls? I was talking to Rita and she’s kind of tired so I’m going home with her.”

“Oh, sure. No problem. Is she alright?”

“Yeah, just tired and maybe sunburn. I don’t want to drive when it’s too late either.”

“Alright. Are you still coming to dinner with my family? My mom said she’ll be waiting for you.”

“Saturday, right? I’ll be there.” She smiled. “I’m really glad we got to talk today, Pri.”

“Me too.”

She hugged her Lemon before she left; the blonde then greeted everyone else.

Priyanka watched in silence as the yellow car left the park.

Her heart shrunk, this was the right thing to do, they were friends again, and yet… she felt empty inside.

[asterekmess]

S3A-E6

Oh boy, here we go, Motel California is just full of absolute bullshit. *sigh* let’s get started then.

Read More’s are good for the environment (or so i’ve heard)

Before we start, I wanna let you guys know that I’m just not gonna comment on the Jennifer/Derek scenes. I just. I really honestly cannot do it. I don’t care. No. Also as this is well, this episode, please be advised that there will be extensive suicide mentions.

Thoughts:

I know this is random as hell, but that truck looks like mine. Oh, and look at the date, it’s only like nine years older than mine. nice.

why does it look like he’s nursing an arrow wound on his leg? Is it just me? That doesn’t look like a claw mark.

Can...can I just point out (god, i already need the tag) that....that they’re drawing a DIRECT parallel between this ARGENT HUNTER and Scott with the whole “lifting up the shirt to reveal the bite on their side’ thing? Like, it’s a perfect replica of when scott does it in the first episode. And they don’t do that with the others. Jackson’s bite was just Visible when he got out of the water and we never see Isaac, and Erica’s bites. Boyd’s was a whole sitting down thing on the Zamboni with his hoodie. They didn’t even do the same thing with Victoria ARGENT’s bite. OH and he’s wearing the heirloom necklace from season 1.

Wait, hold up. So, he just got bitten that night, but he’s already gonna shift? What? The bite works that fast?

....he’s from MA? Why tf is he in california? Also, he’s 27 apparently, oof.

Finstock...honey...you ran out of keys when you have like 6 students behind you still.

why is Finstock paying for Allison and Lydia’s room as well? He’s just that nice, or did he honestly forget they aren’t on the track team?

Maybe it’s just the Sterek shipper in me talking, but someone wanna explain why the fuck Stiles would put Derek on the suspect list for HUMAN SACRIFICES? Let alone TWICE? He literally just helped Derek get his pack back and has been working with them the whole time? Why???Would??He???Suspect???DEREK??? OR his sister???

I totally forgot that Scott promised Stiles he would watch Star Wars after they got back to Beacon Hills. SCOTT YOU ASSHOLE COME ON.

yeouch. You’re putting a huge damper on my Stydia brotp here Stiles. jeez.

*Movie trailer voice* He’s a hunter whose family has been torn apart by a human/werewolf war, who refuses to give up the fight against a species his clan has persecuted for centuries. He does weird detective work that makes no sense and looks like a Dark Souls ghost repeat of someone’s death. He insists on ‘staying out of things’ but then follows people around getting mad when things go wrong. Coming this summer, Chris Argent must actually learn.....to get off his ass and help.

WHY DO THEY ALL DO THE CLAW THING??? Yes, they are obviously claw marks. Why the fuck do you need to put your fingers on it?

Honestly, it makes me so sad because STiles is trying okay? Like, Boyd was pissed that Stiles acted like his friend when they never hung out, and STiles is trying to do the chill smalltalk thing, trying to point out things they have in common. He’s trying to MAKE FRIENDS and Boyd is just....uh...possessed? And still getting candy?? Huh?

Honestly, I’d do the same thing Stiles. Get that candy.

Allison, why’d you get in the shower if Lydia wasn’t back with the towels yet? How’re you planning on getting to them? You expect Lydia to come into the bathroom while you’re showering to put one there? #allydia confirmed.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I ALWAYS FORGET THIS HAPPENED. WHAT THE FUCK?

Okay, okay, look at that adaptation we got going on here. Remember, okay, the last time Allison was harassed sexually (which, holy shit I can’t believe this has happened twice) it was by Jackson, who was possessed by Matt. So when Scott gets super fucking creepy, instead of freaking out, her FIRST instinct is to check if he’s still himself, if he’s okay. She jumps to ‘possessed’ and tries to take care of him WHILE SHE”S NAKED IN THE SHOWER AND BEING CREEPED ON. Which, while absolutely horrendously terrifying, is also an interesting character growth. We get to see how Allison responds to the same situation, but a season later.

Really not a fan of the weird-ass focus they put on this woman’s stoma ( think that’s the word) like...are you seriously trying to make that a part of the ‘horror’ aspect of this episode? For real? what is wrong with you?

So I did the research, and actually, hotels aren’t required to tell anyone about deaths in their rooms. But they also renovate the entire room basically to clean that kind of thing up. Replacing walls and anything that can absorb liquid and even electronics. Oh, the things I google for this research. *sigh*

So, she says “since opening.” So...why does it even matter that an Argent was here? ALSO...why does the wolfsbane whistle matter? Clearly the whistle wasn’t the cause of the last howevermany (apparently 40) years of deaths, so why would it be the cause of these ones?? They gave like fifty different answers to the question of why the wolves (and only the wolves) tried to kill themselves and none of them make sense?

Hey, so...what the fuck even is this possession thing going on? What is it actually doing to these wolves? Why are they getting affected at different times? or did they all get affected at the same time, and the scene with Ethan and Danny is supposed to have been happening at the same time as the bit with Scott and Stiles? Is it supposed to like, make them more impulsive, or just drive them to do what they want to do? Boyd wants some candy, and he will get some candy. Isaac wants to watch tv so he just sits there and clicks through static endlessly. Scott wants to......fuck Allison?

Honestly? Good dad moment here. Chris. Good Dad Moment. I just, feel so bad for Allison. That when it comes down to it, she will always end up lying to her family to save Scott’s ass. Either when they’re dating and her dad wants to kill him for it, or when Scott shows up in her bathroom and grabs her and she can’t possibly tell her dad about it without Scott getting shot.

WHY do they treat that moment like it’s a big shocker that Allison was there? She TOLD her dad she would be going to help them. This shouldn’t be a surprise to him???

....wait how was allison on the phone with her dad, fully dressed and outside, but now she’s in her bra and drying her hair in the bathroom? TIMELINES. TW doesn’t HAVE them.

OKay, so Lydia says it’s only been 40 years, which would mean that the motel was only 6 years old when Alexander Argent died in it. Plus...Lydia literally says that approx. 4 deaths a year is a reasonable number? So...either this place has a lot of suicides, or it doesn’t. WHich one? Also, just because you have the warning at the beginning of the episode doesn’t mean you need to go into such callous detail about the different kinds of suicides that took place. God, that’s so tasteless.

As horrific as this moment is, I feel like I should point out that the behavior/conversation that Lydia hears...it’s nothing like what happened with the wolves. They’re talking about it, clearly nervous. But the wolves are stoic and silent. What? WHAT IS THIS PLOTLINE? IS THE MOTEL causing these suicides somehow, or are the werewolves poisoned by wolfsbane?? THESE ARE TWO DIFFERENT PLOTS. WHICH ONE IS IT?

god, I just..I can’t not point out the contrast here! Lydia is saying she heard two people die in a room across the hall, and after leading Allison there they find an empty room going through renovation. All she has to say is “they were here” and Allison believes her. No hesitation. Stiles’ childhood best friend literally shows up dead and Scott refused to believe a word he said about human sacrifice until Deaton confirmed it. Yet Lydia and Allison have known each other less than a year, and Scott and Stiles are supposed to have been friends for ages.

I just...I hate fisheye lenses. they don’t give me any horror vibes at all, they just look stupid. Personal preference.

Boyd, honey, those things are supposed to have bags in them so they can be reused.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS SCENE? WHAT THE FUCK? WHY WOULD THEY EVER BRING THIS UP JUST TO KILL BOYD OFF LATER? WHY?

Lydia is actually very correct, remember what I said about the renovating?

God, this episode has so much...just horrible shit. I’m gonna fucking ignore it for my own sanity and just focus on how wolfy it is that Isaac wouldn’t want to sleep under the covers at a hotel because it would probably smell. Plus, bare feets. Also, why’d he go to bed so early? Did Boyd go get the ice for him, since he’s sweating so much?

I love that they are roommates.

Okay, I don’t understand. Three more suicides are about to happen. Boyd, Ethan, and I guesss...Scott? So what the fuck was up with Isaac? I just...they’re supposed to like. give into their their worst thoughts or something? Boyd’s guilt about his sister. Ethan’s....something. Scott’s...uh...self-hatred? Or, I think it’s more his lack of self-confidence? He doesn’t hate himself, he just doesn’t think he can keep going. And Isaac’s ingrained guilt of doing the wrong thing? His fear of being useless...I guess? So is it supposed to make them suicidal and Isaac’s a weird case, or does it only do that sometimes, and the rest of the time it just leaves you paralyzed with fear? This makes literally no sense.

Where has Stiles been this entire time?

Uh...that’s not how Alphas work? Just because Derek died, it wouldn’t make Scott an Alpha. Scott didn’t kill him. Even if Derek Was dead, it would’ve been from impact or from the wounds Ennis gave him. In no universe would Scott become an alpha. If it was the impact, Cora would become Alpha, as the next blood relation. If it was Ennis, the Hale Alpha spark would be gone/soaked up by Ennis.

Okay...so, Stiles was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, and he didn’t hear Scott talking to the phone?

*snort* Stiles has a Nokia phone. How much do you wanna bet his dad bought that for him after the Pool Scene because he was trying to make sure Stiles didn’t break another phone?

Did...did Stiles just leave the room with the toothbrush in his mouth?

Okay, I get that this is a teen drama...but why does it have to be so obsessed with 16 and 17 year olds having sex? Seriously? It’s not the common occurrence people think it is? Now, if these were college age people...or, hell, even then it wouldn’t be this fucking common. Seriously. I don’t want eye-candy from someone who’s supposed to be 17 at MOST. Teenagers watching this might like the eye candy, but when I watched this at 17 I STILL was sick of the sexy scenes. Knock it off.

Also. Ethan IS STILL A FUCKING MURDERER.

.....uh....Ethan...do you not understand human anatomy? Giving Danny the bite wouldn’t remove the metal bars in his chest. It might heal the cartilage or whatever, but it wouldn’t REmove the BARS. Oh see that’s just creepy. Wait. OKay, are you telling me that Ethan’s thing that he wants, with this possession thing, is to bite Danny? AND HOW DOES DANNY NOT RESPOND TO THAT? HE’s supposed to know about werewolves, which means he HAS to be getting what Ethan’s going for. WTF?

...what the FUCk kind of voldemort “love and monsters” kinda bullshit was that? What does that have to do with Ethan’s deepest fear/insecurity?

I am...so confused. FIrst off, I love having Allison, Lydia, and Stiles all chillin’ trying to figure things out. THat’s amazing. But how do they know something’s up with Isaac? Also, it contradicts what I was theorizing before when Allison says the last time she saw Scott like that it was a full moon. Now I’m even more creeped out? WHy would they have her fully believe that it’s Scott, and just...let him be a fucking creep? Why would they openly admit that he’s been that terrifying with her before and then just...be chill about it? Also, when did she actually see Scott act like that? When he did it on his second moon Allison never saw him bc Derek tackled him into the woods. When did Scott go all creeper on her? Is this a REgular OCCUrREncE?

I know it was wasn’t intentional, but it’s such an adhd mood for Stiles to see the paper sticking out of the bible and just snatch at it. most people would call that ‘attention to detail’ but like...I just see it as ‘wtf is this, gotta know gotta know” mooood.

Why does Stiles go running to the next room like it’s an emergency, and what is the relevance of these articles in the bibles? LIke, yeah, you knew there were a ton of suicides. How does this help?? God, it’s like they were trying to make it a mini-horror film, but they just suck at understanding what the right order is to put things. FInding those articles should’ve been something that happened at the beginningin order to create a sense of unease, not in the middle of figuring things out!

how exactly did Stiles get the damn door open if it was locked? For that matter, how did Ethan know the handsaw was there? Was he on his way to talk to Lydia and Allison, or was he heading for Scott and Stiles’ room to get help? WHat’s going on???

Thank you Allison for not just Standing There. And Lydia for having a BRAIN. <3

HOW DID STILES HOLD BACK ETHAN? Ethan IS AN ALPHA? HOW?

OKay. I know I said I wouldn’t comment on these scenes with Jennifer, but this is just a general observation. DEREK. YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE. YOU ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF CALLING PEOPLE FROM THE BED.

What...what does that mean Ethan? “You probably shouldn’t have.” WHat?

I know it’s supposed to be for the Allison/Scott angle, but I just love Lydia and Stiles heading to save the pack. *sigh*

I gotta say, I actually really respect Stiles for straight up telling Lydia about the parallels he’s seeing. Rather than hide it from her, he’s trying to get to the root of the problem, point blank and he’s being honest with her about his worries that she might be involved without even knowing it. And she listens and doesn’t get immediately defensive. This communication is SO GOOD. Stydia BROTP.

I’m fucking on the verge of tears. Sinqua, your acting is just...like, you barely speak in this scene and yet your face is just??So pained?

Bare feets. I know I point it out a lot, but like, compared to kali, who keeps her claws out all the time even in like a fucking hospital. It’s so cute to see Boyd and Isaac wandering barefoot in their hotel room. Just, the level of calm it implies, despite the situation. They feel so safe with each other.

ALSO did Boyd go through all of that while Isaac was under the bed?

WAIT WHAT? WHy is Lydia suddenly all pissed off? WHAT? That makes no sense! But then when she says his name, she doesn’t sound upset at all?? WHAT?

ALSO, I thought this was supposed to be about suicides? Why did they add this totally random (and horrific) thing? It has nothing to do with BoYD! JUST BECAUSE YOU PUT A TRIGGER WARNING DOESN”T MEAN YOU NEED TO MUSH AS MUCH FUCKED UP SHIT AS POSSIBLE INTO ONE EPISODE. GOD. It’s like those people who assume just because they’re allowed to do R rated shit, they have to have random sex scenes in their tv show.

where did Scott get gasoline? Like...where?

God fucking damn it, how fucking demonizing can you get, fucking juxtapositioning Scott’s suicidal monologue about Derek suffering and being dead, then jumping to Derek fucking someone instead of telling anyone he’s alive? What the fuck is wrong with these people? Why is it literally ANY TIME Stiles or Derek are in some way happy (NOT that I’m considering Derek at that moment in time Happy or in any way okay) they always make it out to be the most horrible thing ever? It’s like I said before, Stiles smiling on the field because he actually gets to play lacrosse? Jackson’s about to die. Stiles happy because he’s going to play a game in class? His best friend is missing. Derek....I’m not even going to give what’s going on a name. But then they just layer that over Scott...what even is he doing? Everyone else actually tried to kill themselves. Why is he just...standing there? Are they seriously trying to make the claim that his strength of will is so strong he’s the only one could can hold out against the...whatever the fuck is causing this? Jesus fucking christ do you have to turn him into Jesus every time? SERIOUSLY?

YOU DIDN”T THOUGH. SCOTT YOU LITERALLY REFUSED TO FIGHT BACK. YOU PLANNED A RENDEVOUS WITH DEUCALION BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK BECAUSE YOU INSISTED FIGHTING BACK WAS WRONG. YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD IF DEREK AND THE OTHERS HADN”T COME TO FIND YOU.

...I get that this is supposed to be an emotional moment, but why the fuck does Scott’s monologue about how much he sucks have to drag Stiles down with him? Stiles was literally always good at lacrosse. He never got ‘better’ before being put on the field. You saying that the both of you were ‘nothing’ is a terrible, horrible thing to say because you’re implying that because Stiles didn’t get the bite like you did, the only thing that makes him more than nothing is being your friend. How does Scott manage to be a total asshole even when he’s in the middle of explaining why he wants to die?

AGAIN WITH THE RANDOM PLOTLINES. DAVIS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? IS THE HOTEL HAUNTED, OR IS THE WHISTLE FULL OF WOLFSBANE OR IS THE DARACH ACTIVELY MAKING THEM KILL THEMSELVES? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? ANd why would the Darach be making them kill themselves?? THey don’t match any of her sacrifice requirements! This makes no sense with the plotline you follow for the rest of the season!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SCENE? Scott was NOWHERE NEAR Ethan? WHY THE FUCK DID HE GIVE SCOTT THE CREDIT FOR SAVING HIS LIFE? And why would he thank him for it, when he told Stiles he shouldn’t have been saved? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Also, why does Ethan have like, a bruise thing on his cheek? Is that...is that a skin thing, or like, a show thing?

This doesn’t solve the problem of Allison’s car being stuck with an empty tank at the side of the road halfway to Beacon Hills.

dude. you realize that was literally 34 years ago? Deucalion would have to be like 50. and even then he would’ve been a fucking 16 year old Alpha. So that makes Deucalion more likely in his 60s. Also, why the fuck do you care Chris? This is such a random fucking thing. It makes no sense. What the fuck does it matter now?

Last Thoughts: What the fuck even is this episode? It’s like this steaming dumpster fire of half-assed ideas and loose ends to plots we’ll never see and really shitty horror movie vibes. We’re talking D List or maybe E list horror movies. I’m honestly disgusted? I can’t remember the last time I had to watch something so tasteless and cruel and insensitive in every single way?

.....on to the next episode, I guess. God, I need to change all of this in the rewrite, and I don’t know if I can actually make it good?

[minhyukie]

hi folks !! i saw a “content creator year in review” tag game going around in a different (non-kpop) fandom and i thought it could be fun to bring here also i love to talk about myself and this gives me a good excuse to do that :3

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: these are both just normal gifsets but the first was minhyuk from middle of the night behind here and last was minhyuk from kbs song festival the other day here!!

one of your favorite creations from 2020: minhyuk love killa stage compilation... maybe im biased because love killa minhyuk was sexy and i love lip smudge but it is what it is

a creation you’re really proud of: minhyuk’s 2020 firsts!! definitely the most complex thing i did this year (or maybe ever) and it was fun to play around with different layouts for each panel!! also i think it turned out pretty

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: i think this is the first year i’ve used a nontraditional gif layout (like.. something besides a 2x2 or 3x3) which i did for the puppygayo compilation!

a creation that took you forever: not to mention the same gifset twice but the minhyuk firsts of 2020 took SO LONG because it used pieces of so many videos.. also like there were just some things that i had to learn how to do?? like fading two gifs together or making static (which probably took me an hour to get looking right) 😭 

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: my changkyun birthday set.. shit changkyun says!! deserve

a creation you think deserved more notes: my minhyuk instagram birthday set :-( i was really disappointed it didn’t get more because i liked it so much (and also birthday sets usually get more than that)

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: idk that this is really relevant for me.. im a wenee now if that counts but i dont think i’ve made any wonho gifs so :-(

a creation you made that breaks your heart: making the 5th year anniversary gifset made my heart hurtie

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: MINHYUK LAUGHING COMPILATION!! so much serotonin also the colors turned out well

a creation that was inspired by another one (add both your creation and the one that inspired it!): my fantasia x album receipt gfx was inspired by the album receipts ig account!! for something that looks so simple it was surprisingly complex to make :0

a favorite creation created by someone else: cristina @hyungkyun ‘s changkyun bday set was SO CUTE and the purple tones are so nice!! / victoria @softhyungkyun honestly Any gfx style gif you’ve done but i remember thinking your jooheon joker one was really neat!! / @2bosoos ‘s netflix mockup!! looks really sleek and also super detailed ?!

some of your favorite content creators from the year: @softhyungkyun (your gfx are really creative!! the comic style ones?? magazine edits? your mind..), @psychemixtape (your compilations!! bro.. not only are they pretty but u make them so fast?!?), @memehyungwon (super cute bday gfx!!), @nervousnotion (i love your gfx/gifs with bright colors you make them look so vibrant and good!!), @2bosoos (also creative gfx!! plus like.. the parallels sets that both blow my mind and go over my head entirely)

and for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: shownu angry brows compilation, minhyuk glasses compilation, mx pink hair compilation, minhyuk cuddle compilation !! i feel freshly motivated to make more compilations now :3

++ i tag anyone i mentioned above to do this too if u want !! :D or even if i didn’t tag u if you also love to talk abt yourself...

[mediaevalmusereads]

Daring and the Duke. By Sarah MacLean. New York: Avon, 2020.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Bareknuckle Bastards #3

Summary: Grace Condry has spent a lifetime running from her past. Betrayed as a child by her only love and raised on the streets, she now hides in plain sight as queen of London’s darkest corners. Grace has a sharp mind and a powerful right hook and has never met an enemy she could not best, until the man she once loved returns. Single-minded and ruthless, Ewan, Duke of Marwick, has spent a decade searching for the woman he never stopped loving. A long-ago gamble may have lost her forever, but Ewan will go to any lengths to win Grace back… and make her his duchess. Reconciliation is the last thing Grace desires. Unable to forgive the past, she vows to take her revenge. But revenge requires keeping Ewan close, and soon her enemy seems to be something else altogether—something she can’t resist, even as he threatens the world she's built, the life she's claimed…and the heart she swore he'd never steal again.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: explicit sexual content, violence, blood, references to child abuse and maiming

Overview: There was only one book left in the Bareknuckle Bastards series so I thought “why not?” I was curious as to how MacLean would redeem the main antagonist of the first two books, and I rather liked Grace every time she showed up on the page. While there were some things I enjoyed, I would put this finale closer in quality to Brazen and the Beast than Wicked and the Wallflower. There wasn’t much to bind the two leads together aside from their past, in my opinion, and while MacLean attempts to tell a darker, angstier story, much of the plot felt empty and repetitive. Still, there were some nice nods to feminism and consent was always at the forefront, so I’m giving this book 3 stars.

Writing: MacLean’s prose isn’t radically different in Daring than it was in Brazen. It might be a little more serious, as the subject matter is definitely darker, but overall, it’s easy to get through and conveys MacLean’s ideas clearly. My only major complaint is that Daring felt more slow-paced than its prequels, perhaps because we got a lot of filler and repetition of the same scene but from different perspectives. Granted, some of this happens in the previous books, but because Daring isn’t largely focused on something external (like a business rivalry or a power play with an antagonist), everything just seemed to drag.

Also like Brazen, I don’t think MacLean used her themes to the fullest extent. There were some interesting attempts, such as the story about Apollo and the recurring mask motif, but there were also some duds, like the commentary about people being mad that Victoria was queen because she was a woman (Victoria was not a good symbol of “girl power,” in my opinion). While any one of these could have worked, they didn’t have as heavy of an impact as the themes in Wicked.

I also think MacLean held back on giving her characters unique quirks that served as metaphors; while Grace does have a tattoo that has some significance, it didn’t have sustained presence like Felicity’s lockpicking or Whit’s two watches. As a result, Daring felt the most thematically flat of the three books, and I wish as much care was put into both Brazen and Daring as was in Wicked.

Plot: Aside from the romance, most of the plot of this book revolves around Ewan’s redemption and a subtle concern over the increased frequency of raids on houses of ill repute. To be honest, I think this book started out rather well; Grace rescues Ewan from the explosion that happed at the end of Brazen, and their initial reunion and confrontation was fairly angsty. From there, though, I felt like the plot started to get repetitive and had no shape. Devil and Whit would threaten to beat up Ewan, Ewan would make some grand gesture (like hosting a ball or ask to help Covent Garden in a way), Grace would be attracted to that gesture, they’d have some intimate moment, Grace would then get nervous and run, only for the cycle to start over. While I did like the ways in which Ewan tried to earn forgiveness by helping Covent Garden, there wasn’t a whole lot of tension in these scenes aside from the threat of a brawl. I also didn’t feel like the subplot about Grace’s bordello was prominent enough or thematically related enough to have an impact; the bordello raids seemed to be a commentary about women and power, but it fell flat for me because Ewan didn’t really have to struggle with seeing Grace as an equal or as someone with power in her own right. He’s mostly already there, so the commentary felt rather hollow.

I think I would have much rather seen a plot with stronger parallels to the romance or one with more dramatic references to the characters’ pasts. Maybe Ewan’s secret could have been at risk throughout the book, and Grace has to decide what to do (which could have made for an interesting final showdown, if Ewan’s true identity had been discovered). Getting out of that pickle seems like a much more interesting plot than the empty gestures towards women in power that we got.

Characters: I liked Grace in Wicked, so I was happy that she got her own story in Daring. She’s a smart businesswoman with an intelligence network of almost all women, and I love the pleasure she takes in roaming the rooftops and dressing in bold colors. I also really love the friendships she has with her lieutenants at the bordello, and the sibling banter between her and Devil and Whit. However, my admiration from her cooled whenever she would engage in her back-ad-forth with Ewan. She never seemed to know what she wanted and was fairly flighty, which is understandable to an extent but irritating when there isn’t a strong plot or clear emotional progression to back it up. I always felt like Grace was stagnating and never really evolving, and her main character flaw was just to get over her past and hesitation about Ewan’s title. I wanted her to have something more, like an insecurity that Ewan could help her with.

Ewan, for his part, is somewhat interesting in that he was a villain in previous books. I liked the angst he brought to the story as well as the heartbreak when we finally learn why he made certain choices in his past, but other than that, he didn’t really have an exciting emotional arc. After the first scene, Ewan leaves London for a year to make himself a better man worthy of Grace, and when he returns, he seems to have finished growing and only needs the people around him to see it. I feel like we were cheated of seeing that growth happen on-page.

Side characters were fine and served their purpose. Devil and Whit were at their best when teasing Grace, but at their worst when talking about Ewan. I felt like they were always threatening to beat Ewan up but they never acted, which meant that their words felt hollow and their confrontations were useless. It would have been more interesting, in my opinion, if they had had more honest conversations with Ewan about their pasts so the angst was not just between Ewan and Grace but between the brothers as well. I wanted the brothers to struggle more with their emotions, rather than just think about punching one another.

Grace’s lieutenants, Veronique and Zeva, were fun when they were teasing Grace, but it also felt like they were there to relay information about the raids, which weren’t all that interesting. I liked that Grace was shown to have female friendships, and I liked that the lieutenants showed women in positions of power outside of a domestic setting, but ultimately, the raids just weren’t exciting enough to me to think of the lieutenants as much more than filler.

Romance: Based on the events from the previous two books, some readers may not find Ewan redeemable, so the quality of this romance will largely depend on what your personal threshold is. Personally, I was willing to give MacLean a shot, and while I do think she did everything she could to show that Ewan was trying to atone, I also don’t think she did enough to make the romance exciting. Grace and Ewan seemed to be mainly bound by their pasts, and though Ewan says he loves Grace for her boldness and power, it seemed all tell and no show. Part of the romance requires Ewan and Grace to learn who the other is now rather than try to recapture their childhoods, and I felt like not much of that happened outside of Grace just giving Ewan a tour of her bordello and telling stories about what happened to her after she fled with her brothers. I would have much rather had moments where the two bonded over some shared values - the laundry scene in Covent Garden kind of did that, but it was so dragged out and nothing was really built upon it, so I don’t think it had the intended effect.

I also don’t feel like Ewan and Grace grew within the romance very much, and by that I mean they didn’t help each other overcome some kind of character flaw. Ewan’s character development happened off-page, so most of his arc was about getting others to see that he had changed rather than changing before our eyes. Grace’s main barrier to the relationship was her past and her inability to trust, which would have been fine if all her reservations didn’t go out the window the moment she noticed Ewan’s muscles. It was somewhat exhausting to see her have an intimate moment with Ewan, insist that it was just this one time, then flee because they couldn’t be together (due to his title and her emotional hang-ups). The cycle would repeat, and it didn’t feel like each encounter built on the previous one. I think I would have liked to see a continuous evolution where the two learned who the other had become in the 20 years they were apart, uncovering truths along the way and building back trust rather than this back-and-forth of “we can’t be together” and “well, we can bang this one time but NO MORE after tonight.”

TL;DR: Despite including some delicious angst, Daring and the Duke ultimately relies on a cyclical romance and a lackluster plot, making this book a middling finale to the Bareknuckle Bastards series.

[shadowed-dancer]

Thoughts on the Cats Movie soundtrack

Still haven’t seen the film, but I thought I’d give my opinion based solely on the music of this MUSICAL film, ignoring the CGI and any story beats they may have added (also for context, I’ve seen the staged musical and I actually enjoyed it)

Fun fact, all thoughts were written as I was hearing the songs, so it’s entirely my first, gut based reactions. You are reading it exactly as it popped into my head upon hearing bits of the songs

This ended up being way longer than I thought so it goes under a cut. Enjoy

Overture

I wasn’t going to review the overture but there’s a weird synthesizer and I needed to point it out

Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats

It doesn’t sound right. The pacing at the beginning is off. Once the chorus kicks in it gets better (but it comes later?)

It got weirdly... techno? Idk if that’s the right word

There are a lot of solos especially during the “practical cats, dramatical cats” list. At first I didn’t like it cause I really love when groups of people sing together, but it grew on me

Although Misto (I think) quickly adding in “and magical cats” at the end of the list is really cute. I love my boy

Old Gumbi Cat

The man singing is great (Munkustrap? Idk if they changed it) but I miss Jenny’s preppy and peppy attitude from the musical

Also I miss the 3 girls who used to sing the “Buuuut when the day’s hustle and bustle is done”

There’s a part that I think is the mice singing? Not a fan. I’m scared

I don’t hear any tap shoes, hopefully she does get her tap solo in the movie but from what I’ve heard in reviews, I don’t think she does

I actually like the very end bit. I never liked the musical version where they sing “for she’s a jolly good fellow”. This one flows a bit better and rhymes when she says “thank you my dears”

Rum Tum Tugger 

Dang, this is funky! I actually don’t hate it

Is... is Grizabella the Glamour Cat cut? Or just not on the album? That was actually one of my favourite songs I’m sad it’s gone. I wanted to hear Demeter’s voice

Bustopher Jones 

It isn’t as bad as I’d feared. I was nervous about James Corden, but it’s pretty ok

It’s not my favourite song to begin with so it’s pretty meh. This version is good for what it is

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

This is so different and I miss the energy, but I actually don’t hate it. It gives off a very sneaky type of energy and I kind of like it

It’s hard to grasp a tune though

Also, I like Rumpleteazer’s voice. It’s cute

Old Deuteronomy

It’s pretty similar to the original tbh

Someone in the comments on the video said it’s still Munkustrap singing, in which case he’s doing a very good job!

I miss his duet with Tugger though

Also Old Deuteronomy no longer buried 99 wives, but instead lived 99 lives? Ok

Oh jeez I was not expecting her voice to sound like that

Beautiful Ghosts

It’s ... actually kind of nice?

I was worried, but so far I’m not hating a lot of these added “Oscar bait” songs (Never more alone from Les Mis, No one would listen from Phantom, Evermore from Beauty and the Beast)

“No beauty in my memory” is that a parallel to Grizabella’s line “I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then”

She mentions “memories” a lot. Is she being set as a reflection of Grizabella? (wanting to be wanted and wanting to fit in)

“At least you have something” who is the “you?” Misto? The Jellicle tribe? A plural “you” referring to the world?

I feel like if she is singing this to Misto it will break up the pacing of the film, idk how to explain it. Like this song is nice but it’s slow, maybe that’s ok though cuz it comes right after Old Deuteronomy (the song)

Her voice is very pretty and I almost started tearing up. I was hesitant of them using Victoria as an audience surrogate (someone to have the cats introduce themselves to) but I like it. They seem to have made her an actual character

Oh shoot, epiphany! Is this song meant to replace the first “Memories” that goes before intermission? Because that’s not on the soundtrack. If that’s the case that’s actually smart

Gus

I miss Jellylorum singing about him. That being said, even though he doesn’t really sing, I feel it fits him fine

His Gandalf is showing. For some reason the beginning reminded me of Lord of the Rings where he is singing “the road goes ever on and on”

It’s odd not having Jellylorum sing about him. It’s less sympathetic when he sings about himself

Um, does Gus not perform a play about the Pekes and the Pollicles? I’m... actually ok with that thank you for cutting the run time down

For those curious, the Pekes and the Pollicles was moved in the Broadway revival and US tour to be after Gus’ song. It serves as him reliving his glory days by performing one of his old plays

Skimbleshanks

It’s kept the same fun, lighthearted energy that I loved so much

There are some weird pauses but I’ll let it slide

That weird electric/techno sound is in the background again

They cut it down... a lot. I don’t blame them though, it was a very long song. And the parts they kept are executed amazingly

Was... was that tap dancing? So maybe Jenny really isn’t a tap dancer any more. Dang it

Macavity

It’s no longer a duet... they’re really cutting all the fun duets, eh?

Where is Demeter? Is she ok?

Also Taylor Swift is British

Overall the performance is pretty good

“He’s outwardly respectible. I know he cheats at cards” ok that line used to make sense as a duet cuz it was like Demeter would say one thing and then Bombalurina would come and add to it/contradict it. Now it’s weird to be sung by the same person (at least I THINK that’s Taylor singing both parts)

Wait... is that Macavity saying “the Napoleon of crime”? Why is he present? I know something changed in the timing but does he steal Old Deuteronomy AFTER this song? Cuz that just seems weird. Like “Ok now that you know who I am, let’s go”

The alternative is that he returned after stealing her to taunt the Jellicles which might work? It may not have even been him who said the line though lmao

Mr. Mistofelees

Oh man they did my boy dirty

Why is he so breathy? Is he nervous? You’re supposed to be the greatest magician ever! What did they do to his character?

Also why is he singing about himself? Someone help him

The breaks after the chorus are starting to annoy me. It’s disrupting my jam

“Not long ago this phenomenal cat...” ok I know that technically that is grammatically correct if he gestures to himself, but because the whole song is now first person it just sounds weird

Wow, EVERY duet I cared about it gone. Like, I don’t even ship Tugofelees but I could respect it! And I obviously acknowledge they have SOME sort of relationship in the musical (platonic, one sided admiration, or otherwise) so why cut it? Also I loved Tugger singing this song. I’m just mad.

You know what? Scratch that, it didn’t even need to be Tugger, just SOMEONE sing with him holy corn

Oh ok wow so can Old Deuteronomy just not sing? I thought she was supposed to play Grizabella in the London production, why is her voice so scratchy?

This song in the musical was my favourite because of it’s fun energy and flowing beat. Well the beat doesn’t flow and the energy is gone so good news Skimble you’re my favourite song for this recording so far. Congrats

Ok but Misto singing “as meeeee” as the rest of the cast sings the chorus is actually kind of adorable

Woah woah woah wait someone else is introducing him at the end? Why couldn’t you have helped throughout the entire song?????

The meows... I can’t

Memory

Her words sound slurred? Is that just me? I know the song so I know what she’s supposed to be saying, but if I hadn’t known I wouldn’t understand a lot of it

Her voice is pretty solid aside from that though

I know people were mad Victoria sings with her, but with Beautiful Ghosts as her song, I think it’s thematically appropriate

Ok the climax is well done

Oh wait what? The energy just disappeared. Bring it back!

Off topic but if you want to hear a really good Grizabella, check out Keri Rene Fuller. I got to see her live and I legit cried her climax was amazing she belted it so loud it literally shook me, like I could feel the vibrations in my chest

The Ad-dressing of Cats

Oh no I have to listen to her sing a whole song

It sounds like she’s sing-talking. It worked for Gus, not so much here

Apparently she looks directly into the camera during this scene

Ok she did it before but I noticed it on this lyric. “To treat you as a trusted friend”. Old Deuteronomy used to go up on “trusted friend” but she goes down. It brings the whole energy down

She did it again on “Straudsberg pie”

I know she’s saying “aim” but it sounded like she said “end” which made the last lyric (name) sound like it didn’t rhyme. Oh boy.

To conclude, lots of changes. Not all good, but not all bad either. Some questionable casting and directions, but I’m excited to see it. Hopefully some of my questions are cleared up.

I may make a full review of the film once I've seen it.

[bakudomaster]

Hot In Cleveland

Greetings to literally no one! Hopefully that will change....

I’ve had this account for a while now and I’ve finally thought about what I want to use it for.

Starting today, this will be a literary analysis of some of the entertainment media I have consumed over the years. Why you ask? Hmmmm, that’ll be for a later post. I hope that you enjoy reading this!

WARNING: THESE POSTS WILL UNASHAMEDLY CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Today, we’ll begin with a sitcom that’s very close to my heart - Hot In Cleveland

[cue title music - ba ba ba baaaa... ba ba baaa... dwing dwing HEY!]

PREMISE

Hot in Cleveland first premiered in 2010 on TV Land as their first ever original production. Up until that point, the network was well known for airing reruns of previously ended shows, such as The Cosby Show and The Golden Girls. One of the producers of the show was Sean Hayes of Will & Grace fame.

The show revolves around three middle-aged women bound for Paris to forget their troubles of broken hearts and struggling careers when their plane makes a emergency landing in Cleveland, Ohio. Deciding to explore the city, they find it a more compassionate and welcoming than the glamorous, youth obsessed Los Angeles and decide to relocate there. When they rent a house, they find it comes with a decidedly snarky housekeeper.

CAST & CHARACTERS

Valerie Bertinelli as Melanie Moretti - a recently divorced one-time author, she has known very little beyond her roles as mother and wife. She tends to be very optimistic and romantic, often to the annoyance of her friends. Out of the younger trio, she takes the most to Cleveland and tries new things to broaden her horizons. She is the most compassionate out of the three, often being the glue that binds them together. Though she’s a very nice character to watch, she lacks true grit and comes off as a pushover at times. I don’t know much about Valerie’s work before the show, but she does do quite well, with her natural warmth and friendliness coming through.

Wendie Malick as Victoria Chase - an ambitious but ditzy soap opera actress, she has just had her show cancelled and falls into despair at not being in the public eye anymore. Self-centered and willing to do almost anything, Victoria is the least enthusiastic about moving to Cleveland due to the lack of botox and paparazzi among other things. Over time, she takes on various projects to try and revive her career, resulting in an Emmy & Oscar win. Wendie Malick is best known for her role on Just Shoot Me as well as her voice acting in various shows and movies, such as The Emperor’s New Groove and BoJack Horseman. She’s an absolute delight to watch here, completely immersing herself in the role and surrendering to Victoria’s insanity.

Jane Leeves as Rejoyla ‘Joy’ Scroggs - a beautician with a business that’s starting to fail, Joy’s real problem is being unlucky in love. From being abandoned by her teenage sweetheart when she fell pregnant by him, to being left at the altar on her wedding day, Joy’s endless parade of bad luck has left her cynical and just a tad yandere for any man who dares cross her (watch out boys...). She’s neutral to Cleveland, but secretly longs for romance and eventually settling down to start a family. Jane is best known for her work on Fraiser. She’s initially a bit frigid over the first two seasons but warms up to the role as she gains more prominence in the show over the later seasons.

Betty White as Elka Ostrovsky - an escapee from WWII Poland, she is a widow who lives in the house as a caretaker. Though she finds the LA trio’s obsession with glitz and glamour very strange, she quickly makes friends with them to varying degrees, often dispensing advice and acting as a voice of reason when the others get a bit too crazy or feel despondent. She is very proud of Cleveland, eventually becoming its mayor and is not averse to doing things outside of the law. Betty White has a career in television spanning over 80 years. She was initially only supposed to appear in the pilot episode but the audience response was quite positive so the producers upgraded her to series regular.

STRUCTURE, WRITING & DEVELOPMENT

The series plays out as a typical slice-of-life sitcom. The idea of older women living together and going through life isn’t new - think Golden Girls in the modern era and you pretty much have the gist of the show. However, is that such a bad thing? I think every TV era needs a show that focuses on the challenges one faces as the march of time proceeds; something that feels comfortable without pushing the boundaries too much and HiC was that for a generation who missed out on Betty White’s previous hit show. It wasn’t cerebral watching and it didn’t need to be.

In line with this, many of the plots are taken out from well known tropes that have developed over the years. Love triangles, a vapid rivalry in Hollywood, false pregnancies and lost loves returning all play part in the show’s six season run, edited and polished for character context. This is a big part of why the show felt so familiar to many viewers. Script structures followed one of three methods:

Characters A & B take part in subplot 1 whilst C & D take part in subplot 2 - this proves most effective for humor, balancing out the plot and giving each character something to work with

Characters A & B take part in subplot 1, C in subplot 2 and D in subplot 3 - this proves most effective for character development but can feel too scattered at times

Characters A, B, C & D take part in the main plot - this is most effective for plot lines, usually occurring at season premieres or finales

In terms of character development, the main trio of ladies find fulfillment in each other’s status. I’ll explain:

Melanie was an author but didn’t really have much experience in the working world, choosing instead to derive her satisfaction from being a mother and a wife. Now that her marriage is over and her kids are in college, she feels lost and doesn’t know what to do with herself. Over the course of the show, she has a series of meaningful relationships but develops the most in her career;becoming a column writer, a public relations assistant, a radio show host and a restaurant manager. This is what Victoria was trying to achieve at the beginning of the show.

Victoria is an out of work actress who has to resort to all sorts of tricks to get back into the public eye. Her approach is hit and miss, but she eventually goes on to win an Emmy and an Oscar, along with some work in critically acclaimed stage plays and a brief period as a news reporter. Despite this, she finds more satisfaction in her love life (despite being married EIGHT times!), eventually marrying her one true love at the end of the series. This is what Joy was trying to achieve at the start.

Joy is struggling as a beautician who looks for love in handsome men and one night stands, but never seems to catch a break. Her love life goes from bad to worse and her relationships fail due to a combination of her own issues with trust and the fact that the men she loves aren’t that great to begin with. She eventually puts her cynicism and stalking tendencies (I told you to watch out for her!) to good use, studying criminology and becoming a private detective. She also reconnects with her son that she gave up for adoption and gleefully accepts when she finds out that she’s a grandmother. Long story short, she’s looking for stability and finds it in the most unlikely man, becoming a wife and a mother at the end of the show. This is what Melanie was looking for at the start of the show.

Over the first three seasons, a heavy emphasis is placed on Elka due to the show trying to capitalize on Betty White’s resurgence in popularity at the time. This is in spite of the fact that Elka kind of feels like a lost puzzle piece. She doesn’t really fit in to the whole cohesiveness of the other three characters. This is changed in season 4, when the character of Mamie Sue (played by Georgia Engel, Betty’s costar from The Mary Tyler Moore Show) is promoted to a recurring character. It not only gives a nice chemistry to a previously ill fitting character, it creates a parallel with the LA trio: Mamie Sue is a combination of Victoria’s airheadedness and Melanie’s kindness to Joy’s cynicism found in Elka.

The show starts off quite shakily, despite its hype, but takes a turn for the better around the fourth season. The frivolous story lines from earlier episodes are eschewed for more long term plots with more emotional impact. Themes of loneliness, love at middle age and returning to correct past regrets are explored quite deeply. The show also loses some of the LA stereotypes as it goes on.

Some really big names are booked as guest stars, some notable ones being:

Susan Lucci as a parody of herself, being Victoria’s arch-nemesis

Joe Jonas as Will, Melanie’s son

Craig Ferguson as Simon, Joy’s first love and babydaddy

Jon Lovitz as Artie Firestone, an eccentric billionaire who takes an interest in Joy

Heather Locklear as Chloe, one of Melanie’s bosses at her PR job

The entire cast of The Mary Tyler Moore Show as G.L.O.B. (Gorgeous Ladies of Bowling)

Alan Dale as Sir Emmet Lawson, a renowned actor and Victoria’s sixth husband

Rick Springfield as a parody of himself

BULLSEYES & IMPROVEMENTS

What the show gets right:

Exploring the crossroads many women face at middle age, in terms of the main aspects of life: family, love & career

Great acting, especially in the later seasons

Wendie Malick - she deserved an Emmy nomination for her acting here

Jennifer Love Hewitt as Emmy, Victoria’s eldest daughter. Seriously, watch her episodes and tell me they aren’t funny

The general lack of pressure - you don’t need much attention to cycle in and out of the show, it’s easy watching

The consistency and plot development post season 3

What I think should be improved upon:

Melanie can be TOO nice, something that’s actually picked upon by other characters. Her cancer subplot was a nice opportunity to get some grit, but most of it was just by the way and not fully delved into

Victoria’s job as a news reporter was forgotten as soon as she landed a part in a Woody Allen movie. It would have been nice for her to be in that occupation a bit more or go back to it after her Oscar win and give her a chance to be on the other side of fame

Elka’s love life - every boyfriend seems to be a copy of the other and there are way too many of them

CULTURAL & PERSONAL IMPACT

This article from the A.V. Club goes into detail about the show and I have to say, I agree with it wholeheartedly agree. HiC was a reminder of what was before the more intellectual comedies came along. It shamelessly pandered to an older generation who wanted something familiar in an ever changing landscape. The fact that it didn’t take many risks in its approach was a risk in itself. It was clearly one that paid off, given the six season run. It wasn’t a darling of the critics, but it didn’t need to be. This was a show that could be watched to generate a few laughs without the need for in depth discussion with a coworker in the break room the next day.

A few years after the show’s cancellation, Valerie Bertinelli expressed her anger at TV Land for the decision, calling it sexist. I can’t really comment on that, given that I’m not too familiar with TV Land’s other work, but I will say that HiC did what it had to do. Six seasons in an age where you’re lucky to get more than three is amazing. The plot lines tied up quite nicely at the end and in the end, that’s all that everyone wanted.

Personally, I watched this show at two very difficult times in my life. The first was at college during my final year, when deadlines loomed and twisted my stomach in anxiety. The second was a few months ago when I had quit my job and needed something to distract me from the depression. On both occasions, this show has really made me laugh and fall in love with its simplicity. It’s undemanding and solid, just what I need to get through a trying period.

WHERE TO WATCH IT

Seasons 1 to 5 are available on Amazon Prime Video

Seasons 1 to 4 are available on Hunnyhaha’s channel on Youtube

If you’re in Southern Africa, the entire series are available on Showmax