#Dear Ijeawele

[evergreen-dryad]

going to try and put down any simple thoughts I have instead of staring into space with a clench in my heart and strong emotions.

all of it is wisdom. Sometimes it made me laugh a lot. Sometimes it made me laugh in a sobbing way for how things still were. Sometimes it made me angry too, in a way that says 'things must change'. Sometimes it made me go 'oh', in a way that says 'i recognise this in real life. She put it into words, the wrong feeling I had.'

It was always thought-provoking.

2 Feminist Tools:

First: 'I matter. I matter equally. Not 'if only'. Not 'as long as'. I matter equally. Full stop.

Second: Can you reverse X and get the same results? eg. If Chudi sleeps with another woman and you forgive him, would the same be true if you slept with another man?

The conversational, warm tone, as if you are a friend listening in (it was originally written for a friend whose daughter was just born, who asked 'how can I raise my daughter feminist?') works so well, and makes it so accessible for a topic as thorny as feminism, and one that can easily get lost in jargon.

The wry humour and occasional snark was delicious too, and added to the readableness of this (it's a really thin book!!)

She just says it simply. She says it as it is, with bravery and honesty.

That. Is the best ending for this book.

It's a lot of reflection and thought distilled into one book -- about equality for everyone, between men and women, bad and good, and the spectrum in between, and emphasises acceptance of all diversity. And to be honest, open-minded, and to question all social norms.

[haggishlyhagging]

You remember how a journalist unilaterally decided to give me a new name—Mrs. Husband's Surname—on learning that I was married, and how I asked him to stop because that was not my name. I will never forget the smoldering hostility from some Nigerian women in response to this. It is interesting that there was more hostility, in general, from women than from men, many of whom insisted on calling me what was not my name, as though to silence my voice.

I wondered about that, and thought that perhaps for many of them, my choice represented a challenge to their idea of what is the norm.

Even some friends made statements like "You are successful and so it is okay to keep your name." Which made me wonder: Why does a woman have to be successful at work in order to justify keeping her name?

The truth is that I have not kept my name because I am successful. Had I not had the good fortune to be published and widely read, I would still have kept my name. I have kept my name because it is my name. I have kept my name because I like my name.

There are people who say "Well, your name is also about patriarchy because it is your father's name." Indeed. But the point is simply this: Whether it came from my father or from the moon, it is the name that I have had since I was born, the name with which I traveled my life's milestones, the name I have answered to since that first day I went to kindergarten on a hazy morning and my teacher said, "Answer 'present' if you hear your name. Number one: “Adichie!”

-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or, A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

[m0tel6mxzzy]

Please do not ever put this pressure on your daughter. We teach girls to be likeable, to be nice, to be false. And we do not teach boys the same. This is dangerous. Many sexual predators have capitalized on this. Many girls remain silent when abused becausc they want to be nice. Many girls spend too much time trying to be "nice" to people who do them harm. Many girls think of the "feelings" of those who are hurting them. This is rhe catastrophic consequence of likeability. We have a world full of women who are unable to exhale fully because they have for so long been conditioned to fold themselves into shapes to make themselves likeable.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

[alexcabotgf]

4, 5, 14 & 18! ❤️

4. Movie of the year? already answered here, but the matrix baby!! where have they been all my life

5. TV show of the year? also answered here, but a runner up would be jessica jones. never expected to have this much fun watching it and YET

14. Favorite book you read this year? answered here, but another good one was dear ijeawele, or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions by chimamanda ngozi adichie!

18. A memorable meal this year? can't really think of one specific meal but i, an avid sushi hater of 12 years, started eating sushi again and now i can't stop

[dont-justdont]

"This is the catastrophic consequence of likeability. We have a world full of women who are unable to exhale fully because they have for so long been conditioned to hold themselves into shapes to make themselves likeable."

Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions (by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

[hofculctr]

21st Annual Great Writers, Great Readings Series – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE was born in Nigeria in 1977. She is the author of three novels, Purple Hibiscus (2003), Half of a Yellow Sun (2006), and Americanah (2013), of a short story collection, The Thing around Your Neck (2009), and of three books of non-fiction, We Should All Be Feminists (2014), Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions (2017), and Notes on Grief (2021). Ms. Adichie’s work has been translated into over thirty languages. She has received numerous awards and distinctions, including the Orange Broadband Prize for Fiction (2007) and a MacArthur Foundation Fellowship (genius grant)” (2008).

She has also been named one of TIME Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in the World in 2015, and in 2017, Fortune Magazine named her one of the World’s 50 Greatest Leaders.

Thursday, October 16, 6:30 p.m. The Fortunoff Theater, Monroe Lecture California Avenue, South Campus

This event is FREE and open to the public. Advance registration is required. More info and to RSVP visit https://tinyurl.com/4wmm8njs

[creatorofcalmqueerchaos]

Print out/send to her “Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie!!

Technically it’s a letter to a new mom about how to raise a girl but it is also a great read for any girls out there. You can get downloadable copies for pretty cheap but I’m also like 99% sure there’s a free PDF somewhere because I sent it to someone at one point.

sometimes i want to help my 12 year old sister out with like. going into teenagerhood as a woman. but i know literally nothing about being a teenage girl. like “get the smallest sports bra available and stretch out the band so you dont break your ribs” is not something that helps out the average girl

[lboogie1906]

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (September 15, 1977) is a Nigerian writer whose works range from novels to short stories to nonfiction. She was described in The Times Literary Supplement as “the most prominent” of a “procession of critically acclaimed young anglophone authors [who] is succeeding in attracting a new generation of readers to African literature”.

She has written the novels Purple Hibiscus (2003), Half of a Yellow Sun (2006), and Americanah (2013), the short story collection The Thing Around Your Neck (2009), and the book-length essay We Should All Be Feminists (2014). Her most recent book, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, was published in March 2017. In 2008, she was awarded a MacArthur Genius Grant. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence

[absurdly-useful]

I decided to dig up the original post, in case anyone wanted to reblog that instead @liberalsarecool or @wilwheaton:

Identifying/understanding [GOP] misogyny.

[haggishlyhagging]

The shame we attach to female sexuality is about control. Many cultures and religions control women's bodies in one way or another. If the justification for controlling women's bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was "women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do." Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be "covered up" to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men.

-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or, A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

[judyconda]

“Teach her that the idea of ‘gender roles’ is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl. ‘Because you are a girl’ is never reason for anything. Ever.” ― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Book author of "Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions" Celebrated an yearly March 8, International Women's Day is one of the most important days of the year to celebrate women's achievements, raise awareness about women's equality. Furthermore, International Women's Day is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity. Significant activity is witnessed worldwide as groups come together to celebrate women's achievements or rally for women's equality. 🌸💐💕 Happy Women's Day to strong, intelligent, talented and simply wonderful women! Don't ever forget that you are loved and appreciated. * Like me. Only a woman can almost die and give birth at the same time. Be proud to be a woman. This day belongs to you. May you prosper and stood affirm in the course of life. : #internationalwomensday #womansday #womansday2023 #internationalwomensday2023 #womansmonth #womansmonth2023 #woman #empowedwomen #pinkWednesday #pinkWednesdays #mystique #spiritique #BABAEPOAKO #BABAEKA #BABAEAKO #VirgoWoman #virgo #virgozodiac #MysticalWoman #mysticwoman #Wednesday #WednesdayVibes #virgoenergy #equality #equalityisforeveryone #womansrights #womansright #sheher 💛 #girlpower #womanpower https://www.instagram.com/p/CphRucxyAIb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[reverie-quotes]

Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people.

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

[tomework]

7(?)/10

“Dear Ijeawele or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions”

and

“We Should All Be Feminists”

By Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

***At the time of purchase and reading I was not aware of the issue of transphobia revolving around Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I have since done some investigation on it and am disappointed with what I’ve found but still unsure of how to feel about the subject because I do still need to do more research regarding this particular issue so I apologize if my review of this material upsets anyone, that is not my intention. I am a member of the LGBTQ community and consider myself a stark supporter, and ally, of the trans community, but we all have room to be a better human so please feel free to point out my shortcomings or my mistakes. I know I can do better.***

So individually these books fared well.

“We Should All Be Feminists” speaks on the personal experiences of the author as a black woman. Her struggles with the patriarchy, cultural and societal pressures to fit the status quo. Her approach to such criticisms and so on.

“Dear Ijeawele” was a moving adaption to a letter sent to a long time friend on how to raise her newly born daughter to be a feminist. This book is a must read, I think, for most new parents raising any child. Hell, a lot of people could benefit from reading this.

Both short essays are written well and moving from a the author’s personal point of view. These essays are personal and don’t just speak the truths, they move the truth deep into your soul. Take the time to seriously read these essays and reflect on yourself and the things you do on a day to day basis.

***At the time of purchase and reading I was not aware of the issue of transphobia revolving around Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I have sense done some investigation on it and am disappointed but still unsure of how to feel about the subject because I do still need to do more research regarding this particular issue so I apologize if my review of this material upsets anyone that is not my intention. I am a member of the LGBTQ community myself and consider myself a stark supporter, and ally, of the trans community, but we all have room to be a better human so please feel free to point out my shortcomings or my mistakes. I know I can do better.***

[similistic]

Books of 2021

Favorites: (in order of date read)

- Graceling by Kristin Cashore This was recommended to me by Diana (again LOL), although I had heard of it before, it hadn’t really been strongly on my radar. Graceling is book one in the series and my favorite by far. I think the main characters reminded me a little of On Fortune’s Wheel, one of my old favorites (that I should reread again soon I think). Fire is book two, and I gave it five stars. I also read and enjoyed books three and four, which got 4 and 3 stars from me respectively.

- Dear Ijeawele by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie A non-fiction collection of letters on the topic of many things, but based on suggestions on how to raise our daughters.

- The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip A recommendation of Elizabeth Lim’s favorite fantasy novels. I described it as "Tolkien-esque, but made more palatable for younger readers."

- Dear Girls by Ali Wong I thought it was sort of feminist and empowering, but in a very different way than Dear Ijeawele. More like a sleepover with your high school/college girlfriends.

- Dealing with Dragons / Talking to Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede Another Elizabeth Lim recommendation from the same Instagram reel. I ended up reading al four books in the series, and enjoyed them all, but the first one is the best, in my opinion. A very nice “unconventional princess” story. Talking to Dragons is book four and is very tongue in cheek about traditional hero stories.

- A Court of Thorns and Roses / A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas Recommended to me by basically everyone, but I finally caved when someone told me that ACoTaR was a Beauty and the Beast retelling. I’m a sucker for BatB retellings and I was not let down. ACoMaF is very very different (the same friend described it as a Hades/Persephone retelling). The plot of the series can give you a bit of whiplash. I also read and enjoyed book 3 but thought it was much weaker and it didn’t make me interested in reading book 4, which came out this year.

- A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers Loved it, wanted more, but book two isn’t slated to come out until next year, and I don’t trust publishers to keep their word so I’m trying not to hold my breath on it. The world reminded me weirdly of The Giver (Lois Lowry), even though it... is not at all related. Robots.

- The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang A genderbent retelling of “Pretty Woman” where the main female character is austistic. I read it and then immediately wanted to reread it.

5-Star Ratings in 2021:

Fiction--

- The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu Really epic; Asian inspired world building.

- Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier Another Elizabeth Lim rec; Wild Swans (ATU451) retelling.

- Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir More similar to The Martian than Artemis was, but with a more fantastical element.

- Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim Lim’s “Wild Swans” retelling; Asian-inspired world building.

Nonfiction---

- The Story of Stuff by Annie Leonard Consumerism and it’s impact.

- Educated by Tara Westover A memoir written by someone who grew up off the grid.

- Dear Memory by Victoria Chang Poetry in the form of letters that really resonated with me, as this woman’s life closely paralleled that of my close family.

[english-ness]

Which feminist books do you recommend?

I often recommend The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. There is a condensed revised version out by Vintage Classics, it's the one I have, it's a quick read but a powerful one.

I also recommend reading anything by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Her essays, her novels, her short stories, anything. I don't like We Should All Be Feminists because it is very tame and really meant to be palatable to hostile audiences (#TedTalk Format). I think Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions is a much better book. It is about raising daughters !

[book-book-inglenook]