#ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ug
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ew nasty terf bitch get away from me
#why are you reblogging my posts you foul fucking wretch why are you proudly announcing ur terfery and daring to reblog#illustrations of my beautiful transgendersexual nonbinary wife you should all be wrangled up put in a hole and shot#is that too far or not far enough#makes me so fucking mad#sometimes i just think about deleting my art from everywhere becausr i care so much about my Wife and other ocs that i’m like#i don’t want people to look at them#I KNOW IM A FUCKING WEIRDO SORRY#BUT LIKE ?#ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ug
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uggh i wish i could just connect my tumblr, twitter, and DeviantArt so i didnt have to remember every time i make art to post them on twitter and DeviantArt ans half of the time just forgetting
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Guess who was running around this morning and, while leaning against the wall with one hand, managed to break the plaster, right where there was no wood underneath 💀 You have got to be kidding me...
#14shyx#14shyx: personal#let me roll myself into my own grave it'll be much cheaper than how much i bet fixing that would cost#uGH UG H HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE#between organizing and packing and getting shipping forms sorted AND THIS - i want to cry so bad
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awwwww. my guy who glares.
#ragey wageeyyyy i've been thinking about him soo much recently.#him as a pony makes me laugh like this middle aged war torn guy. you're literally a pony.#r: ��#art.exe#ugh ugh ugh ugh ug uh ugh guh i need to draw my best friends azec and isa and oliver and aedan and altint and quivive. ILOVE PLUTCHIK!!!
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THE SPECIAL INTEREST.
#bee.txt#AUGH AUGH AUGH AUGH A UGH AUGH AUGH AUGH AUGH#sorry im revisiting electricopolis stuff in preparation for friday's update#AUGH AUGH AUTHG AUGH AUGH AUGH A UG H AUGH AUGH HAUGH
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It's a Sunday October noon and I wonder if the missing and the loving will ever completely stop... asking 4 a friend
#personal#delete later#ugh fuck I'm doing so much better and got past some important points :-) but the heart is relentless in feeling I suppose#getting sad giving it thought... So my strategy to not give it thought has been a good one so far. but then it shows in dreams and such! ug#i'm not going to force myself to get over it by forcing myself to date. i want to take it slow. but meeting someone would help w it sure#:") fuck me for having my venus in fucking cancer i guess
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undergoing self-immolation from stress
#left dnd feeling kind of shitty and overall upset at myself for screwing up my character in the first session#anniversary artwork is taking forever to finish but i needed it to be done Tonight™ to make it in time for tuesday#which normally i'd say ugh whatever i'll just get it up by the 25th#but the stress of trying to get it done quickly has just made me sick of it#to the point that i want to be rid of it as quickly as possible#stressed about document renewal deadlines#stressed about car repairs i haven't even been able to think about because i'm acting as a chauffeur 9 days out of the week#stressed about needing to buy clothes for my internship soon (expensive and dysphoria abound surely)#stressed about needing to petition for my degree#stressed about poorly scheduled doctor's appointments tomorrow where they'll probably tell me my health is still garbage#and that they didn't order the right blood panel so i'll need to be stabbed another four times#ug hg ; ; ; ;#i feel like crying honestly ; ; ; ;#and all this isn't even counting voicebank things or other vocal synth work ; ; ;#how do i keep ending up here ; ; ; ; ; ;
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so tired...
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need to like. deactualize. uncracking the shell and all.
#its clown town#weeeeird couple of days. weird feelings about a lot of things i never thought would be in the open. family and trauma and The Cycles ugh ug#on one hand opening a door means maybe it can be dealt with. on the other its not likely + FUCK THE DOOR IS OPEN SOMEONE CLOSE IT
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Superman #314
#i'm not crying you're crying#clois#lois lane#clark kent#For the first time you can remember.. your heart beats wildly in your chest...#ugh ugh ugh ugh ug
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youtube
What Artificial Romance Does To People by Daryl Talks Games
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EXACTLY😡 Let us date best boy!
But also...
#video essays#parasocial relationships#dating sims#MLnottheSingularity#atlus won't let you date Ryuji ugh#Atlus won’t let Akira date the boys…UG#social surrogacy#social surrogates#socializing#blorbos#blorbo#oshi#oshikatsu#favorite characters#self insert#positive media psychology#hatsune miku#Youtube#ted talks#dissociative absorption#reactions#reality shifting#escapism#daydreaming#tulpamancy#tulpas#lucid dreaming#friendships
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bedrot so bad the sleep inertia still hitting me from when i woke up 2 hours ago. maybe hitting my thc pen will help
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truly so upset I couldn't make it until 10pm to see House Of Harm but I had a triple threat of Swollen Legs + Lower Back Agony, 25% phone battery, and it being Fuck Ass Hot Outside
#after five hours you'd think they'd start putting out chairs and snacks#but naw. just 6$ sparkling water at the bar 🙃#i missed Astari Night and Forever Grey too ug h#too much time w deceits (who i wanted to like but ugh his voice 💀) and trigger discipline (okay for the first two songs but mreh)
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old boss texted me and I nearly lost it sjfnejjdn didn’t get a full anxiety attack but it was a near thing. we are not out of the trenches 😞
#it’s just clearance stuff that we already finalized on my last day but she forgot#which I sort of understand (kind of? how do you not prioritize your former employee’s clearance) but whatever#ik I can just reply right away and be done with it but 9 times out of 10 she will use it as an excuse to send walls and walls of texts#I’ll answer Friday night idk I hope she magically remembers before then#every now and then while I’m doing random shit I just think abt how happy I am that I left#she’s so!!!!!! ugh like I almost never ever ever feel this strongly abt ppl like if you wrong me I’ll forget abt you in 2 weeks but her? ug#wow ppl don’t joke around when they say a shitty boss can break you
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ok confirmed he is on the same team kinda .. on another team but our teams are paired up. whatever. I voiced to my friends that i was a bit worried about having to interact with him and they were literally it’s fine and it’s true… it is. I just need to not be a freak. He’s not my friend either way so I don’t need to go out my way to be friendly but I also probably shouldn’t ignore him lol my friends were like just bc u don’t talk to him doesn’t mean ur ignoring him purposefully and I was like tea. That is so true. I’m kinda dreading it now but for different reasons idk 😭 whatever! I’ll literally just go find my friends if I need to
#and they were like you might think you’re acting weird but he probably won’t notice anything and I was like again tea#it just feels so weird like it’s that such weird inbetween of like do we know eachother … do we not…. MEOW.#also im like convinced he doesn’t know who i am even tho i know he does but whatever#it’s bc after we kissed and i saw him later on he did not know my name which is sooo loser coded behaviour from me but like whatever i misse#i missed out on being a loser when i was a kid so it’s fine#but like he was like i know u from somewhere tho and i was like ok… and maybe I shouldn’t even believe that but we run pretty decently close#in the same sort of circles so it’s not crazy that he’d recognise me but not know my name#hell i only know his name because i examined him at an exam and thought he was good looking and then did not think abt him again and then UG#UGH THE STORY… SO STEWPID.#this situation was predictable to a degree but why do I literally see him everywhere when I didn’t ever for the past two years#it’s fine… its so fine…#and if I want to get with him again… tea#jk i am not putting that into the universe at all#to be honest I need to get with someone who isn’t him lol#he is so disgustingly my type it’s annoying#dark hair buzzcut gorg smile and eyes… DPMO#let me not even go there
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over exerted myself this week and now i gotta get my ass to thanks giving uaghghgh don't even have energy to bring ches like i was originally planning. why did i let 2 appointments in a row get scheduled the 2 days before holiday where i need to have energy and spoons ughghghghghghgh. and the day before that going out and then doing a bunch of chores when i got back. i should know bettterrrrrrr.
#need recovery day so bad#this is a noted pattern in how my energy levels are#big events & outings knock me out the day after#longer than that if i over exert#and i stlil foolishly let this happen ugh ug ghghgh#next couple days gonna suck#and i feel bad about leaving ches behind he's been alone a lot of the day past few days :(#really need to head over soon but i feel like a pile of sludge#had high stress appt on tues and went to like 4 different stores plus had to bring car to garage yesterday#why did i think that was ok lmaooooooooooooo
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