#ugh this one turned out weird | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spookystarfishzombie · 8 months ago

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millionsknives · 1 year ago

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bait / hook / line / sinker

#the hunger games #finnick odair #thg #the hunger games fanart #this was a very very weird painting for me.#like i have painted decapitated heads and severed arms and shattered ribs and guts falling out and gallons of blood #and not once have i ever looked up from my work and been disgusted or disturbed by what i’ve painted #but the first day i was working on this one i looked at it and just felt so sick i had to get up and take a shower to get away from it #HE WAS 14 WTF WTF WTF WTF #that is a baby. that is a little kid. turned into a killer and paraded around like a novelty and used like a toy.#but on the whole i am very satisfied with this propaganda piece it's just as beautiful and unsettling as i wanted it to be #ugh my mind. nothing in the composition is overt but all the implications are there #not just the capitol's sexualization and brutalization of children but the fetishization of the districts' labor as well #as my good friend and mutual theworldiswhispering said.#'the hard labor you do is not safe from being romanticized by the people who benefit from it at your expense'#and i think about that every day #wherefore art thou #thg reread #why he so smooth.. just like a shark #[katniss voice] mfs took all my body hair cant have shit in the capitol #i just know tumblr's gonna crunch the quality of these images but i worked on a canvas 4 times larger than the usual size #so a lot of the detail gets lost when i post it. oh well. click for quality i guess #his expression changes when you're far away #far away he looks kind of vacant #close up he's smiling. like the photographer wanted a specific cocky emotion from him and it was there #but when you zoom out there's just a thousand yard stare #i did think about turning these into prints or actual posters but um. i don't think i should do that

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

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sysig · 3 months ago

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Spoiling for a fight, spoiled for choice (Patreon)

#Doodles #Damned #Osmosis Jones #Ozzy #Thrax #Starting to move into random vignettes - let's see where I can slot them into place #Starting with pouting Thrax - petulance hardly suits a serial killer pls #He hasn't killed Anyone here yet ugh! Or has he lol he just wasn't happy with how it turned out #I assume a lot happened during Nightshifts but it seemed like the monsters tended to band patients together despite alignment hmm #Not that I'm planning anything different but it does make me curious!#Scribbly Thrax to set up the one of him threatening Oz #What's funny is that initially it was Drix who threw down the gauntlet basically being like ''He can't do anything here''#Drix I hate to tell you this but Yes He Can - and it's still Oz that takes the heat for it haha #Drix is not someone you want to mess with for simultaneously opposite reasons lol - he's a dorky tank it's pretty great #Although here he's just a mild-mannered Everyman - fun to take powers away!#Which of course happens to everyone haha #He can't keep any of his accessories! Naked without them!#One of the things I was the most curious about was piercings! I imagine most ear piercings could stay but others #They could be used as impromptu weapons couldn't they? Curious #Everyone's actual clothes and accessories are taken anyway so The Rest is a moot point but y'know - coping with alternatives #It's black yarn this time you can't prove anything lol #Thrax is constantly messing with his hypothalamus necklace so I imagine not having /anything/ has to feel weird to him #But of course he wouldn't be allowed to carry something that he could use against others with him! Too dangerous!#Haha if only #Really makes me want to think about his possible MU - his hand is already scarred so what's a bit more hmmm

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itspileofgoodthings · 9 months ago

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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——

#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her #like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel #she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love #and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy #so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless #like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now #because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it #just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11 #and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want #so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different #but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy #and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change #like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground #and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does #and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts #wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way #and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her #because she WILL find a way to win #but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL #it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is #because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say #ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her #and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy #of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants #and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands #like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time #and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just #this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!

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itsalwaysdark · 2 months ago

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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww #i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces #but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this #video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one #supposes the point of all of this but idk #its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no #anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when #the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein #like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale #i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to #me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to #refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i #was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing #game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking #regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have #shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i #come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking #to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond #which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the #i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed #with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this #and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have #like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i #dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti #off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh

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sodacowboy · 3 months ago

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oh man today has not been a good day lmao

#I stay silly!!!#but what the fuck!!!#I wake up after having weird dreams #idk what drawfee and chappell roan and a party have to do with anything #but okay???#I had trouble getting to sleep too #and ugh #anyway!! I wake up and immediately my neck and shoulders hurt way more than they usually do #for some reason I decide laying my head in a weird way is an okay thing to do in response to that #except it totally isn’t because when I tried to get up it made it worse #like I literally couldn’t move #I was very close to tears about it #very close #and then once that settles I have to do dishes #which is just… it’s fine but it’s not a task I like doing especially when I’m already feeling like shit #and then my plan/timeline gets thrown off bc my mom decides to clean the drains #and so then dyeing yarn gets delayed #(the black yarn I need for this commission wasn’t black enough)#but only by like half an hour so fine whatever #I dye the yarn and that went kinda fucky #like it worked but it was finicky and i got shit tangled at one point #but again! I got it sorted and it all turned out okay!!#but that took a couple hours to untangle shit and rewind it only to unwind it again and then blow dry it #aka way fucking longer than I wanted #and then I finally finish crocheting one out of two of the things #and I hate it. tried something new and it didn’t work and so I had to frog it #and ideally I’d have this done by Wednesday but idk man #I didn’t dye enough yarn either so I’m gonna have to do that tomorrow #and I also don’t have enough t-shirt scraps to use as stuffing #ALL THE WHILE MY STUPID NECK AND SHOULDERS STILL HURT!!!!

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skeletalheartattack · 1 year ago

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theres another member of zarbons species in the moro arc of dragon ball super! he transforms into a differentmonster form than zarbon

Yuzun! i know him! or well, i kinda know him. i'm not really caught up or invested in anything Dragon Ball related beyond Buu Saga, but i've learned somewhat about him.

i think he's pretty neat! and i'm really happy they expanded Zarbons race just a little bit with Yuzun. though you hate to hear how he went out... there's no peace for my mans race. i hate this solar system. fuuuck.

#ask #shelbybunny #i like his design :) although its really hard to top zarbon's.............. <- sorry just those combinations of words turned off his brain.#understand okay?#i think his monster form is cool! idk if id be as weird about his monster form as i am with Zarbons :) but i like him #i dont know if Super would have this part in the anime... idk anything about super... but i imagine Yuzun having a surfer dudes voice #kinda like yajirobe's voice yknow #atleast that was always my first impression. though i guess i could see a similar regal voice coming from him #though ogh those wrist bands. i dont think anything for me could top Zarbons arm warmers #Zarbons arm warmers have always stuck out in my brain as like one of my favourite details.#literally would love to have some like... thick pink nylon arm warmers. thats how ive always imagined Zarbons to be #or a fabric similar to nylon. that smooth soft fabric yknow. that good shit.#i think if i wore those my brain would turn off because id be stimming those shits.#anyway :) yuzuns really neat. continuously happy knowing theres more of his race than just Zarbon #fuck frieza girlies. there'd be so much more of Zarbons race if it werent for that bitch bastard.#i'll never get behind the frieza zarbon dynamic. ive always kinda seen zarbon as being afraid of frieza #like its more obvious near his last few episodes in the show but. ugh man.#i believe what zarbon said in his final moments of saying he'd turn to vegetas side and go against frieza.#then that little bitch put a hole in him. horrible horrible. hate on planet namek.#anyway! thank you for the ask :) i appreciate getting to talk about Yuzun a little bit

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aparticularbandit · 10 months ago

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So I started the dub of Fruits Basket again.

Forgetting, of course, that the primary theme is about life changing and having to be okay with letting go of the past even though the future is uncertain.

More importantly, forgetting that one of the main threads of this throughout the series is Tohru's grief (and guilt) over her mother's death.

....

Well, you know what, my therapist told me to engage with grief as homework the past couple of weeks, so between this and starting Anohana again I THINK IT COUNTS.