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the dad who stepped up | carlos sainz (cs55)
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୨ৎ : featuring : carlos sainz x fem!reader/singlemom!reader ୨ৎ : synopsis (requested by anon) : not the biological father, but rather the father who stepped up!
୨ৎ : genre : romance & fluff ୨ৎ : word count : 947
୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ
ᡣ𐭩 a/n : this was such a cute little story, i can only imagine the spanglish going crazy in this household <3 psa... intentionally all lowercase
carlos never thought about being a dad so soon. sure, he wanted kids someday, but he always figured it would come later, after racing, after settling down. what he didn’t expect was for you to walk into his life, a single mom with a baby boy who barely knew how to say papa yet.
he met you when your son, nico, was only eight months old. you had been hesitant at first, not wanting to bring someone into your child’s life unless you were sure. but carlos? carlos was patient. he never rushed you, never forced his way in. he just showed up.
at first, it was small things; holding nico when your arms were full, rocking him to sleep when he got fussy, making faces at him across the dinner table just to see him giggle. then, before either of you knew it, nico wasn’t just some baby carlos happened to know. he was his boy.
now, four years later, carlos can’t imagine life any other way.
—
"okay, buddy, one more time, but this time big swings," carlos calls from the backyard, watching as nico grips his tiny golf club, determination all over his little face.
you stand nearby, sipping on a lemonade, watching your two favorite people as the warm breeze rustles through the trees.
nico, tongue sticking out in concentration, takes a swing, too hard, and the plastic ball rolls about a foot away.
"that was amazing!" carlos exclaims, throwing his hands up as if nico just hit a hole-in-one at augusta.
"it barely moved!" nico whines, stomping his foot.
carlos kneels beside him, adjusting his grip. "the trick isn’t power, campeón (champion), it’s control. even papá sainz had to learn that."
you smile, shaking your head as you watch them. “carlos, if you turn him into a golf snob before he even learns how to ride a bike, we’re gonna have a problem.”
carlos grins over his shoulder at you. “you say that now, but when he’s winning the masters, you’ll be thanking me.”
nico nods along, even though he has absolutely no idea what the masters is. “sí, mami! (yes, mommy!)”
your heart melts every time nico switches between english and spanish so naturally, something carlos had made sure to teach him from the moment he could talk.
—
later that evening, after dinner, you’re curled up on the couch together, nico snuggled in between you and carlos with his favorite book in hand.
“papá, can you read the book en español? (papa, can you read the book in spanish?)” nico asks, eyes wide with excitement.
carlos raises an eyebrow, clearly pleased. “sí, pero solo un poquito, eh? (yes, but just a little, okay?) i don’t want you getting confused.”
you smile, resting your head against carlos’s shoulder as he begins reading, seamlessly switching between english and spanish.
"the little dog ran through the…el bosque (the forest)…looking for his friend… pero no lo encontró (but he didn’t find him). so he kept running and running…hasta que… (until…)"
nico listens intently, repeating some of the words in his tiny voice.
“bosque!” he says proudly.
carlos grins, tapping his nose gently. “eso! muy bien, campeón. (that’s it! very good, champion.)”
you watch as carlos pauses and turns to nico. “and what’s a bosque?”
nico scrunches his little face, thinking hard before answering, “umm… a forest?”
carlos nods approvingly. “exacto! (exactly!)”
you laugh, shaking your head. “i swear, this kid is gonna be fluent before i am.”
carlos smirks, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “well, mamá, looks like you need some spanish lessons too.”
you playfully elbow him, making him chuckle.
just as you think nico is starting to doze off, his tiny voice pipes up.
“papá, i’m sleepy… pero i want uno más cuento. (papa, i’m sleepy… but i want one more story.)”
carlos lets out an exaggerated sigh, feigning exhaustion. “one more? vale, uno más. (okay, one more.)”
he flips the page, his voice soft as he continues reading. you feel nico’s breathing slow, his tiny body relaxing between the two of you.
you glance up at carlos, who is watching nico with that same gentle, loving look he always has. he catches you staring and gives you a small smile, his fingers reaching out to brush over your hand.
“you know,” you whisper, “you never had to do any of this.”
carlos furrows his brows. “what do you mean?”
you swallow the lump in your throat. “i mean… you didn’t have to be his dad. you could’ve just dated me and kept your distance. but instead, you’re his person. and i just… i don’t know. i hope you know how much i love you for that.”
carlos studies you for a moment before shaking his head, as if the thought of not stepping up for nico is ridiculous. he lifts your intertwined fingers, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand.
“i didn’t have to, amor,” he murmurs. “i wanted to. i chose this. i chose you. i chose him. and i’d do it again a thousand times over.”
tears prick your eyes, but before you can say anything, carlos leans down and places a gentle kiss on nico’s forehead.
“buenas noches, mi pequeño campeón. (good night, my little champion.)”
nico barely stirs, already deep in sleep.
carlos turns back to you, smiling softly. “now come on, mamá, let’s go watch bad reality tv and pretend we don’t have to wake up early tomorrow.”
you laugh, shaking your head as you follow him to the couch, where his arm instinctively wraps around you.
carlos sainz wasn’t the father by blood.
but he was the father who stepped up.
2021-2025 © jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#carlos sainz jr#cs55#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz fic#carlos sainz fluff#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz blurb#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1 x female reader#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz x y/n#williams racing#ferrari racing#carlos sainz jr one shot#carlos sainz jr drabble#𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies#jungwnies#📥 — jungwnies
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well kept secret - spencer reid x hotch's daughter!reader
wc: 1420
cw: none!
me: back on my criminal minds grind... also im not gonna lie to u guys i just got back from a hosue party and im extremely drunk, so if u see any mistakes don't be afraid to lmk. also if u have any requests for hotch!daughter pls send them thru bc im heavy into reid rn i just adore him <3
════ ⋆★⋆ ════
“Who is that?” JJ asked, pointing subtly over to the figure walking cautiously out of the elevator doors. The figure, of course, being you, nervously trying to find your way around the glitzy BAU offices.
“God knows we needed a new pretty face around here — no offence, ladies,” Morgan laughed, drawing well-humoured insults from the women of the office.
“I for one don’t take any offence, her shoes are so cute!” Garcia gushed from over Morgan’s shoulder, eyes locked on your sleek black heels.
“Oh my god, they look just like the ones in that window we passed on the way to dinner, don’t you remember? Even Hotch said they were nice!” Kate wheeled her way into the conversation on her swivel chair.
It was a slow day around the office, not something that went unappreciated, so each agent was eagerly amenable to conversation.
“Reid, come over here,” Morgan beckoned, “Has she ever been here before?”
“Me?” He spluttered, eyes searching frantically, “Why would you ask me? Hundreds of people come into this building every day, let alone the thousands we see on the street every day, on cases—”
“And you have an eidetic memory kid, are you thinking straight or is the pretty girl messing up Boy Genius?”
Reid would drop dead before admitting that Morgan’s words had any truth to them, but his usually overactive speech pattern was halted by the vision of you entering the office’s glass double doors. His mouth dried out as you looked around, obviously unsure of where you were headed.
“No,” He finally answered, “I’ve never seen her before in my life.”
“She looks lost. Kind of scared, even?” JJ was giving her signature maternal look, concern etched into her face and Garcia was up before anyone could tell her it might not have been a good idea.
The gang watched from afar as your expression brightened from worried to delighted as Garcia began to chat with you, eyes gleaming as you pointed down to your heels. Clearly she’d repeated the earlier compliment.
“Hi! I’m Penelope Garcia, technical analyst, and you are gorgeous. I’m in love with your shoes!” The introduction and compliment took you by surprise but you were by no means disappointed, replying with equal giddiness.
“Thank you so much, my Dad bought them for me!” You extended your right leg slightly to show off the heel more holistically, “And I just love your outfit, the glasses are everything.”
Garcia gushed her own appreciation as the two of you became fast friends, so you chanced a request for help.
“I’m looking for SSA Aaron Hotchner’s office? I know it’s one of the big fancy ones but I’m not sure exactly which.”
“Up those stairs and second door! You can’t miss it, the big boss energy radiates as soon as you go near.” You both laughed and you made sure to thank Garcia profusely.
Reid watched as you pointed up to the private offices, evidently searching for a specific office. He wondered who you could be looking for. He didn’t have to wonder for long as Garcia rushed back, talking a million miles an hour as she explained that you were looking for Hotch. That brought more questions than answers, and the BAU were quick to place bets on what you could possibly want from him.
“Well, she’s certainly too young to be his girlfriend,” Morgan laughed, “Unless Hotch gets down more than we thought.”
“Could be a young woman looking for a mentor? She looks about college age, maybe just graduated?” Kate suggested and JJ nodded in agreement, neither even pretending to be working anymore.
Meanwhile, you’d made your way up to Hotch’s office, knocking softly on the oak door.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, eyebrows raising only slightly, an extreme show of emotion for the man.
“Check your watch, Agent Hotchner,” You smiled, unsurprised that he’d gotten totally consumed by his work.
“Damn,” He huffed under his breath, “I’m sorry, should we go now, then? And what did I tell you about calling me that?”
“Sorry, Dad,” You emphasised the title, “And yeah, let’s head. I’m starving.”
Down in the bullpen, even Rossi had been roped into the shenanigans.
“You’re the closest with Hotch, if anyone would know who she is it’s you!” JJ said, the rest of the group agreeing.
“Why don’t you just, I don’t know, ask him?” Rossi shook his head like he was dealing with small children. Sometimes he was convinced he was.
You took Hotch’s offered arm and the two of you left his office, making quiet smalltalk. The office fell eerily quiet as you two emerged from the behind the closed door, and you got the distinct impression that the BAU had all been talking about you.
Obviously Hotch noticed the team very unsuccessfully playing it cool and muttered a curse, signalling to you to head over to them. You supposed you were going to finally get your formal introductions.
“This is Rossi, Derek Morgan, JJ, Kate Cunningham, Penelope Garcia, and Doctor Spencer Reid. Guys, this is my daughter.”
If you thought there was silence before, it was nothing compared to when Hotch dropped that bomb. You could hear a pin drop.
“Um, it’s really nice to meet you all! I’ve heard so many stories about your work.”
“And we’ve never heard anything about you, pretty girl.”
“Morgan,” Hotch warned with hardly any bite as you laughed off Morgan’s playful flirting.
“Derek Morgan you are exactly like I was told. You too, Penelope, my father was not exaggerating about your outfits.”
“I thought you were starving?” Hotch changed the subject to tease you, nudging you to get moving.
“Alright, alright, I get it. You don’t want me taking all your friends,” You grinned, getting moving nonetheless. The BAU laughed, both charmed and confused by you. It wasn’t unbelievable you were Hotch’s daughter — your quiet confidence and posture was the same, but your friendliness and more easily understandable humour set you two apart.
“Bye everyone!” You called over your shoulder as Hotch rushed you out the doors, clearly keen for you to stop making friends with his coworkers.
“She seems nice,” JJ commented, sitting back down in her swivel chair.
“Can we all talk about how Pretty Boy didn’t say a word that whole conversation?” Morgan asked, a hand clamping deviously on Reid’s shoulder.
“Spencer!” Kate laughed, “You don’t have a crush, do you?”
Reid could feel his cheeks heating up of their own accord, his usually genius brain useless to counteract it.
“No!” He blurted out, “I just didn’t want to say something wrong or bore her with facts like I do with you guys.”
“So you do want to impress her?” Garcia teased with a toothy grin as Reid rushed to shake his head no.
“She’s our boss’ daughter, guys. I think all of us should want to impress her, right?”
“I dunno, Reid, I don’t see Morgan or JJ blushing right now,” Rossi chimed in with a laugh before heading back to his office.
You stepped into the elevator with Hotch, chatting happily about your day so far. Your father stuck his hand out to hold the door open with such speed it scared you a little, jumping in your own body. You relaxed when you saw it was just Penelope Garcia, hurrying towards you with a few files in her hands.
“Thank you, sir,” She breathed as the doors closed behind her, “I forgot Rossi wanted these scanned and digitised from the last case!” She punched the button for the third floor. “It was really nice to meet you, by the way. Even if Hotch has kept you a secret all these years.”
“To be totally fair to him, I wouldn’t say he exactly kept me a secret if he only found out I existed a few years ago. It was nice to finally meet you all too, though. I’ve heard so many work stories.”
You bid Garcia goodbye as the doors opened once again. Just as she was almost down the hall she heard your voice whisper, “Why didn’t you tell me doctor Reid was hot and smart?”
Penelope hardly concealed her gasp, delighted at the newfound revelation. This would be fun for her.
#giasfics˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀#fluff#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid imagine#dr spencer reid#bau team#doctor spencer reid#criminal minds fanfic#matthew gray gubler#love#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds imagine#dr reid#criminal minds fanfiction
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Noah Berlatsky at Everything Is Horrible:
If you know one poem about the Holocaust, you probably know Martin Niemöller’s confessional statement of complicity and regret. It’s available in a range of translations, but this is the one on the United States Holocaust Memorial.
[First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me.]
Niemöller (1892-1982) wrote this in 1946, after the Nazis had been defeated, the concentration camps liberated, and the full horrific extent of the Holocaust was beginning to be known and understood. The passage is widely seen as a warning against indifference and silence. Niemöller indicts himself for not defending socialists/Communists, trade unionists, and Jewish people because he was not a socialist, a trade unionist, or a Jew. He failed to understand that all our fates are interconnected; he thought his privileged status would protect him. Then, when the Nazis came for him, it was too late. The message is clear; fight the Nazis right away, even if you are not immediately threatened, because once you (as a privileged person) are threatened, the Nazis have already won, and no one will be able to protect you. This is not exactly wrong; fighting Nazis right away is a good idea. But as an account of Niemöller’s own experience, it is misleading. Niemöller was not an indifferent, disengaged apathetic observer motivated primarily by selfish myopia. He was an active supporter of the Nazi cause precisely because he despised socialists, trade unionists, and Jews. The poem makes it sound like Nazis win because “good people” fail to fight them. But Niemöller’s actual history suggests that Nazis win because “good people” hate the same people the Nazis hate and therefore find the fascist program congenial.
Niemöller Was a Nazi
Most people don’t know much about Niemöller beyond that poem. He was, however, a well-known public figure in Germany of the 20s and 30s. A World War I U-boat commander and war hero, he was ordained a Lutheran pastor in 1924, when he was 32 years old. (Most of the information here can be found in the excellent Wikipedia biography.) Like many religious leaders and veterans in Germany at the time, Niemöller despised Weimar democracy, and was an unabashed conservative nationalist. He was also a Nazi; he voted for Nazi candidates in 1924, 1928, and 1933. In his best-selling 1933 autobiography From U-Boat to Pulpit, he cheered on Hitler’s victory enthusiastically, referring to the Weimar Republic as “years of darkness” and predicting that Hitler would bring about a “national revival.” Nazi reviewers praised the book, and no wonder; Niemöller was one of their own. What led Niemöller to embrace the Nazis? He said himself that a big part of the attraction was the fact that the Nazis hated the people he hated. That included Communists, and it included Jews.
[...] Niemöller added, in regards to his faith in Hitler, “I am paying for that mistake now; and not me alone, but thousands of other persons like me.” Niemöller was what historian Claudia Koonz has called a “yes but” Nazi—he was someone who agreed with much of the Nazi program even if he had some reservations about (for example) the total extermination of Jewish people. Unlike most “yes but” Nazis, though, the yes lost out to the but. Soon after Hitler’s takeover, Niemöller’s support for Hitler began to turn to bitter opposition. The pastor’s antisemitism was of the old school, confessional sort; he was fine with discriminating against Jews who professed religious faith, but he objected to Hitler’s biological/eugenic targeting of people with Jewish ancestors who had converted to Lutheranism. Niemöller, like many Protestant clergy, also opposed Hitler’s efforts to subvert and gain control over the Protestant churches. By 1937, the regime saw Niemöller as an enemy; he was arrested and spent seven years in the Sachsenhausen and Dachau concentration camps until he was liberated by Allied armies at the end of the war. Even during his imprisonment, however, his attitude towards the Nazis was ambivalent; he offered to volunteer as a U-boat commander! His offer was rejected, but it is significant that even after two years in a concentration camp, even knowing full well what the Nazis were doing and to whom, he nonetheless wanted to fight for Germany and use his skills and expertise to protect and extend the life of the regime. [...] Moulton, Fetterman, and Zuckerberg are not apathetic and clueless. They are not ignoring or turning away from fascist attacks on trans people, immigrants, and women. Rather, they are actively supporting those attacks because they have the same prejudices as the fascists. Just as Niemöller wanted to boost Hitler because Hitler targeted people he hated, so most Republicans, many CEOs, and some Democrats see Trump as good, or at least acceptable, because he promises to come for people they would also like to come for.
Martin Niemöller’s famous “first they came…” poem wasn’t about warnings against “indifference”, but a failure to understand the shared fate.
During the 1920s and early 1930s, Niemöller was an active NSDAP (Nazi) supporter in that he hated communists, Jews, and unions. However, once Adolf Hitler became chancellor, Niemöller began to turn against the Nazis over interference into religious affairs.
#Martin Niemöller#Nazi Germany#Nazis#Antisemitism#Confessing Church#Bekennende Kirche#Weimar Germany#World History
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The boy stops in his tracks. “I know you,” he says, tilting his head curiously. He’s not tall, but he’s regal nonetheless, dressed all in white. Something about him makes Leia’s hair stand on end, and although she hides it she feels a stirring in her own chest. I know you like I know my own soul, she thinks wildly, and wonders where it came from. Has she gone insane?
“That’s nice,” she says, and shoots him anyway.
He deflects it in a flash of light, a glowing blue laser sword appearing in his hand like magic. She’s only seen one of those before, and it’s Vader’s. If this boy is anything like Vader, she realizes, she’s in deep shit.
She’s smart enough to know when she’s outmatched. Leia makes the tactical decision to run for her life.
Later, as she’s getting the hell out of there, she wonders why he didn’t try to stop her.
She remembers being young and tugging on her mothers skirts, demanding to know why their guest was so sad. “Does he not like it here?” She’d asked, and then, trembling, because Kenobi always seemed saddest around her. “Is it…because of me?”
“Oh, Leia,” her mother sighed, lifting her into her arms. “It’s not that, I promise.”
“Then what is it?”
“Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, years ago.” Breha’s eyes grew deeper, darker. “It was not his fault, but he blames himself. You remind him of that child, that’s all.”
Leia had quieted at that, contemplative.
The next time she’d seen Master Kenobi, she had given him a hug. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so she resolved to give him more of them. “He’s lonely,” she’d told her mother. “No one should be lonely.”
Looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi now, the memory seemed so far away. He’d aged thirty years in the ten it had been.
He looks, Leia thinks with a small twinge of regret, very lonely.
“Leia,” he greets. “It’s been a long time.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Leia sees a glint of white.
Kenobi freezes in his tracks. “Luke?” He whispers, and through the distance Leia can hear it as if he’d been speaking directly into her ear.
Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, her mother whispers in her head. He blames himself.
In an instant, Leia understands everything.
Kenobi is still staring at the boy he’d lost so long ago when Vader cuts him down.
Later, as she’s pacing around on the Falcon to Han muttering darkly about Princesses and supernatural abilities, she rememberers the way the boy collapsed, as if all his strings had been cut. Vader was too occupied with him to even look at her as she shot at him desperately.
Luke. She hates him more than she hates herself.
“They know where you are,” he hisses frantically. “They’re coming for you. You have to run.”
“Wait!” Leia quickly pulls up their sonar. Nothing yet, but it would explain the distant queasiness she’d felt since they’d landed. She tended to trust her gut. “How do you know? How much time do we have?”
“Not important, and not enough,” he says. “I have to go, and so do you. You need to leave yesterday.”
“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you are.”
He pauses. “Call me Skywalker.”
“That’s not an answer, Skywalker.”
“Yes it is.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but there are faint voices on the other end, drawing nearer.
“Shit,” Skywalker mutters. “I have to go. I’ll be in contact, okay? Don’t ever tell me where you are, or where you’re heading. Vader and Palpatine aren’t shy about reading minds. Just leave as soon as you can, and figure out the rest.”
“But—“
It’s too late. The comm has disconnected.
She stares down at it, disbelieving. How would the Empire know they’re here? Why should she trust a stranger who somehow got her personal comm code?
Gut feeling or not, on paper this was a perfect location. Supplied, armored, and most importantly, extremely well hidden. There was no real reason to think it would possibly be found out.
It’s probably a trap. Almost definitely a trap.
Han sticks his head in the door, a sour look on his face. “Hey Princess, can you tell these idiots—“
She makes a decision then and there.
“We’re leaving.”
“What?”
“We’re evacuating, effective immediately.” She pushes past him, and he follows so close he’s nearly stepping on her heel.
“Why? I think it’s pretty cozy here. Actual sunlight doesn’t hurt, either.”
“Apparently too cozy.” She grabs the first person she sees, a pilot who stares at her with wide eyes. “Emergency evacuation. Spread the word to pack everything you can and leave, I’ll let you know where we’re headed when we’re in orbit.”
He salutes and scurries off.
“Woah, hey now.” Han snatches at her elbow until she turns around to face him. “What’s going on?”
“There’s a new informant. He told me the Empire knows we’re here. They’re coming for us.”
“And you trust this person because…”
“I don’t have a choice,” she snaps. Someone runs past them, holding three packs filled to the brim with rations. “It’s either he’s lying and we’re not in danger, or he’s telling the truth and we’re going to die if we don’t listen. It’s not exactly hard math.”
It could be a trap of course, but he hadn’t suggested any sort of direction or destination to follow, and Leia wasn’t inclined to share. Especially not after his tidbit about Vader and Palpatine reading minds.
He squints at her. “That’s not it.”
“What?”
“I don’t believe you,” he insists. He’s so infuriating. Leia doesn’t know why she hasn’t kicked him out yet.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do, and you’re either gonna tell me why, or find a different transport when we head out of here.”
“Who said I was riding on your hunk of junk?” She demands. She actually was planning on going with them, since the Falcon has more than enough room for all the supplies that can’t fit in the other ships and none of the trustworthiness of the other pilots, but Han doesn’t need to know that.
“Well?”
Damn him. Damn him for knowing how to read her. She doesn’t know when she let that happen.
“I feel it,” she admits, defeated. “Something tells me he’s trustworthy. We’ll wait and see if it’s right.”
He studies her. She holds her head high, but inside she’s jittery at the scrutiny. They don’t have time for this.
“Yeah, all right,” Han finally says.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” He rolls his eyes, like she’s not acting absolutely insane by putting all her trust in a random man she’s never even met. “Now come on, Princess, weren’t you the one who said we had to hurry?”
What is it about this man that makes it impossible to tell whether she wants to punch him or drag him into the nearest supply closet? They don’t have time to find out.
“So there’s good news and bad news.”
“Bad news first,” she demands.
“They know there’s a mole.”
“Shit.” Of course they know, how could they not? She should have been more careful, less obvious about the correlation of their movements with the Empire’s plans. “The good news?”
“They’ve tasked me with hunting down this ‘pathetic rebel spy,’” Skywalker says, humor in his voice. “That should buy me some time.”
Leia can’t quite stop the snort she lets out. “Seriously?”
“Yep. You’re speaking to a professional mole-hunter, here.”
“Well congratulations on the promotion, Skywalker.”
“Thank you,” he says grandly. Then, quieter, “It won’t last, Princess. They’ll find out eventually.”
“I know. Just hang in there, it will be over soon.”
“Will it?” He asks, suddenly sounding very young. She realizes that she has no idea how old he is. She doesn’t know anything about the man who has saved them more times than she cared to admit, and the idea rattles her until they sign off.
Later, she looks up the name Skywalker in their archives. There are a few results, but only one sticks out.
Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars. Killed at the hands of Darth Vader. There are gossip articles too, speculations on his relationship with the pregnant Senator Padmé Amidala, who died around the same time Skywalker did. The baby, it seems, died with her.
Unless he didn’t.
It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The idea is so ludicrous that Leia almost rejects it entirely.
But it makes sense. By the Maker, it makes sense.
The child of Anakin Skywalker, it seems, would be a powerful Force user indeed. Powerful enough for Kenobi to take the baby and run. Powerful enough for the Emperor to want him for his own gain. Powerful enough to send Vader after Kenobi and take the boy himself.
Maybe even powerful enough to shield his mind from Vader and Palpatine’s intrusions.
Powerful enough to hide the fact that he’s a spy.
Leia sinks into her chair, covering her face as she laughs.
Maybe Luke isn’t so bad after all.
“No, no, no,” she mutters, digging through the smoking wreckage of the TIE fighter. “Don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”
“Princess…” Han lays a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugs off.
“No, he’s not dead. He’s not. Luke!”
A faint cough answers her, and she’s so relieved to hear it she could cry. Behind her, Han starts bellowing for a medic and, “Some damn help here, do you expect us to move all this ourselves?”
“Luke, it’s me,” she sobs. “It’s Leia. You’re at the Rebel Base. You’re safe.”
More coughing, and there’s a worrying rasp to his voice when he says, “You know…my name?”
“I figured it out.”
“Smart.” This time, the coughing is so bad Leia and Han both wince.
“Shit, kid,” Han says, moving another piece of rubble. “Don’t talk. We’re gonna get you out of here, all right?”
“Stand back,” Luke chokes out.
“What?”
“Stand back. Please.”
Han protests, but something in Leia knows they should listen to him. She drags him back, and motions everyone else to fall back with them. They do, albeit reluctantly.
“Clear,” she calls, hoping Luke can hear her.
The TIE explodes.
“Fuck!” Han goes back in, Leia on his heels with the terrifying feeling that she’d just allowed Luke to die, before they both stop in their tracks. Around them, the broken pieces of the TIE are floating.
And curled up in the middle is a man dressed all in white.
“Luke!” She pushes past Han to start dragging him out, and after another moment of staring around them, he helps her.
As soon as they get clear, the pieces fall to the ground with a clatter. Luke falls limp with them.
Han is still looking at the TIE. “Can you do that?” He asks quietly.
Leia pauses her examination of the unconscious man in front of her to glare at him. “Is that what you’re most concerned with right now? Really?”
“Excuse me for asking, Princess!”
“It’s white,” Luke grumbles, pulling at his hospital gown bitterly. “I hate wearing white.”
“Should I be offended?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even. You look great and you know it. I just feel like I never left.”
“Well,” she says gingerly. “I guess it’s a good thing you got sick of it. If we went around in matching outfits all the time, people might think we’re twins.”
He snorts. “Yeah, right.”
#star wars#star wars fanfiction#luke skywalker#han solo#leia organa#imperial luke skywalker#exactly when luke was taken by the empire is totally up to speculation it could honestly be anywhere from newborn to 5#as for why luke has his dad’s blue lightsaber here instead of like a red one or smth- well you see your honor I thought it would be a slay#but also when you think about it for more than 5 seconds you’re like actually yeah that’s sick and twisted of palpatine and vader actually#you’re carrying your fathers most treasured weapon#you don’t know your father once fought the rise of the very empire you stand to inherit with that blade. you don’t know who he defended#you don’t know your father brought about the end of the republic with that same weapon#he killed the younglings with it. he fought his closest companion with it#you’re carrying what was once your fathers most treasured weapon. you are your fathers most treasured weapon#just as your father is a weapon now#also I didn’t make it clear but obi-wan has his ‘strike me down and I become stronger’ moment like he still dies on purpose to cause proble#but when he saw luke he couldn’t look away. he had to see him with living eyes one last time#can u tell I had So Many Thoughts on everyone else’s perspective in this fic too#han is having a constant crisis in the background because 1) force is real 2) princess is annoying AND pretty which sucks for him#in particular and 3) pretty princess is learning to use the force and is hot while doing it. Chewie is laughing at him. life is hell#good lord did not mean to put an entire essay in the tags. i love their super special twin powers (cosmic entity that binds their souls)#edit: GUYS I FORGOT TO NAME THE FUCKING AU#AND WHEN I TRY AND FIX IT IT GLITCHES OUT ON MEEE 😭😭😭
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they’re on the way to save the world ⭐️
#cat and bear… save me cat and bear…#cat! and! bear! save! the! world!#u know exactly what this is. and if u don’t know what this is… well… ^_^#u guys could never guess what ive been thinking about and feeling ill about lately!#man… (head in my hands) drawing this made me feel ill. and if u know why. you know why.#if u don’t… u never could#dnp#dan and phil#phanart#sniffles. snaffles. cat and bear save the world you will always be famous forever and ever
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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i just think there is something so so so beautiful about fall out boy’s songs. and that is gay sex
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thinking abt felix being protective of areadbhar and feeling entirely normal about it actually
#deertalking#feposting#few3h#ITS SO. LIKE THE WAY HES DEPICTED IN THIS GAME DRIVES ME CRAZY#like i haven’t thought this through i don’t have a point here exactly#i’m just thinking abt the screencaps here from the king awakens & him giving ingrid glenn’s spur & his support w mercedes & the cat#where mercie points out the cat likes him & he goes ‘well i can’t keep it. It’s practically a kitten what if it has parents that miss it’#not to even mention wildflowers for the future!!!!#like. ROLLS ON THE GROUND#it’s abt ‘i’m not immune to emotions you know’ it’s about it’s about#it’s abt how he feels like his emotions were disregarded since childhood (esp after duscur) so he pushed away the#sentimentality because he’s seen where it got his friends (revenge quests & death wishes)#but he can’t help but follow his friends down those paths anyway because he loves them so much!!!!!!!#like him acknowledging the spear’s importance to dimitri bc it’s all that’s left of lambert but ALSO#in that moment it’s all FELIX has left of DIMITRI. ykwim#like felix babygirl my beloved y do u think it makes u sick to see areadbhar in the enemy’s possession……..#he is just so hypocritical i adore him. he might be the character of all time to me#bro is trying so hard to b a lone wolf but was NOT built for that he was built to be loved and cherished by his friends#and so he shall be. thank you#um anyway idk what my point here was. i just like thinking abt how much felix loves everybody#someday i will make a coherent felix post. today is not that day#dmlxposting#dimilix#yknow what yeah.
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Characters who exist for fic purposes . Coriander exists in my ingame cult and would have a prominent role in a potential side fic while the second (unnamed) one literally only exists for a single scene but that scene has me in a chokehold
#The second one’s name will never be spoken hence why I don’t care to name them but if someone wants to name them.#go off. Name that little freak#second one doesn’t even have pronouns decided so you can choose that too. If u want#be aware of the atrocities committed however . What atrocities exactly? Well. Wouldn’t you like to know#clamart#cotl ocs#<- I mean basically yeah? Right
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it’s actually so important to me that komahina make each other worse before they can start to make each other better
#marzi speaks#komahina#<- gonna ramble and would like to invite discussion teehee#TO MY MUTUAL WHO I’M GETTING INTO DR (YOU KNOW WHO U ARE): SKIP THIS RAMBLE IT CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS#what i mean is that like. they are both deeply deeply damaged people#and in-game they are absolutely bad for each other. there’s a reason they don’t get together in game#and it is because holy SHIT do they hurt each other despite the deep mutual attraction and desire to understand#and even postgame it’ll take them a while to stop hurting each other#exactly how they hurt each other will depend on how quickly they choose to act on their attraction#if they remain ‘friends’ for a while? it’ll be yearning and pushing each other away out of fear#if they start having sex but don’t do anything romantic for a bit? they are going to make each other feel undesirable and objectified#if they start dating early on? dear GOD those arguments will be cruel. and make them both feel unlovable#regardless they are going to insult each other. they are going to cut to the core. because neither of them are well yet#komaeda will refuse to get better at first. hinata- worried and tired and so so scared- will yell at him for it#hinata will be exhausted from working and handling the kamukura thing. komaeda will pick at the issue like a scab#neither of them can help themselves. they will argue. they will yell- you know they will make each other cry#but then they will apologize. quietly. never directly- but they learn to notice it in each other#hinata will start bringing komaeda food- fruit and nuts usually#komaeda will bring a book out and quietly read next to hinata. if hinata seems curious he’ll start to read out loud#and slowly they will start to forgive each other. they’ll laugh. they’ll cry- happy tears this time#komaeda will start trying to take better care of himself- if only to worry hinata less. hinata will do the same#hinata will try not to lash out- he’ll watch his tone. it’s harder for komaeda but he tries his best too. hinata grants him patience#and it’s not perfect. they’ll slip up. but they’ll catch each other too#and over a long period of time they will heal. and they will love#and they will both feel guilty. everyone will. until the day they die; most likely#but they will allow themselves to love anyways#both komaeda and hinata have deep deep issues. issues they see reflected in each other#issues they want to help each other resolve.#but these issues are foundational. they’re at the core#so they must bulldoze each other’s homes down and start building anew together. and it will make them both stronger
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im a bit catastrophic autism level about characters having missing memories that they cant reach but know are meant to be there, i have a dnd character in a really similar situation!! i just love the feelings of frustration and horror... which memories and thoughts can you even trust? if memories can be removed can they be added?? what do you really know??? its the best for real poor ns
I KNOWWWW I FUCKING LOVE THAT CONCEPT SO MUCH!!!!! just that feeling of something being out of your reach. something you Know but can’t Remember. i love how i put it: like walking into a mall in the middle of the weekend and seeing that it’s empty. because you know it should be full of people. you know what should be there. but there’s nothing. no matter how much you look, there’s nothing, there’s nobody. it’s frustrating and horrifying and and (explodes in autism)
#YOU. ME. SHAKING HANDS#SERIOUSLY LOVE THE CONCEPT SO BADLY#i really wanted that specific feeling of being so traumatized by something. but you cant fully remember what it is#you Know something awful has happened to you. you have a sort of vague idea of what it might be. you even have a suspicion of who might’ve#done it because when you look at them you feel . bad. because the body remembers#but you can’t fully remember what exactly happened or why or who did it. all you have are those weird fleeting moments that you can’t fully#make sense of. puzzle pieces that don’t quite fit#i thought it might be interesting for an iterator considering they are both organic *and* a machine! logically if they were just a fully#inorganic machine then they wouldn’t be able to tell that something has even happened. they’d just be repogrammed and forget and that’s it.#but i really wanted to consider that aspect of the *body* remembering. of iterators being semi-organic. How would that entire removing#memories process feel when you’re still aware and conscious and *alive*? do u get what im saying#it’s just aughhh so interesting to me. i rly hope i’ve been portraying it well#cramswering
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growing up nonwhite in america is just like *your white friends don’t do this* *your white friends have never heard of your favorite food* *your white friends think the way you celebrate this holiday is weird* *your white friends still don’t pronounce your last name right even though it’s been literal years* *your white friends
#psychic damage#look i love being japanese i wouldn’t change that#but it’s isolating sometimes#i remember so clearly being like six and going over to my white friend’s house#and her mom gave us snacks and we were sitting down at the table#and like i always do before eating with someone else i said itadakimasu#and she looked at me like i was having a stroke#and i was like “i was just saying itadakimasu”#because i thought it was a thing everyone did#and she was like “what’s an itadakimasu”#and i just felt very different#i think that was the first time i realized that none of my friends are like me#and that there’ll always be that difference#like it’s cool but still ya know#i wish i knew like one other japanese person that would be really cool#for those of you who don’t know what itadakimasu is— it’s something you say before a meal#it doesn’t really have a direct english translation#but roughly it’s like “hey thanks for making this it looks cool. i’m gonna eat it now :)”#not exactly but that’s the closest i can get because the food culture doesn’t transfer over very well#it’s pronounced “ee-tah-dah-kee-mah-s” by the way#the “u” at the end is silent because japanese is a syllable-based language and it’s using the character for “su” (like in sushi)#even though the sound is just a “s”
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also i got lots and lots of compliments on my outfit today and they were able to fix my necklace! i only wanted the big knot out but they fixed the other ones for me too and even cleaned it and for some reason they didn’t even charge me !! and i got my book ! yayyy
#successful day 😎👍🏻#also the part for my car arrived..now i just have 2 wait on my f*ther to replace it for me..#anyways#i didn’t even wanna get up out of bed today but i had to cause i had therapy and u know what#i ended up having a pretty good day -w-#i didn’t get to talk 2 the cute barista at starbucks but..whatever#but! i did end up dressing up a little and i felt so cute today and got lots of compliments which was nice#and i got all my shopping done and had fun..#im still surprised they fixed and cleaned my necklace and didn’t charge me..#i asked abt it and the guy said not to worry abt it and to just come back again sometime *wink*#and i said okay :D and left and then tripped on the curb outside when i was leaving#i’m not exactly in the market for fine jewelry and hopefully my necklace won’t implode on itself again at least for a while so..i probably#will not be going back anytime soon#i did kinda wanna ask if i could have like my ring size measured but i was too shy to ask#the guy behind the counter was kinda cute and very nice and i didn’t wanna bug him so i just sat and waited for my necklace ;-;#i don’t even wear rings im just curious#uhmm. what else. i got some ingredients to make cookies tonight :3#it was nice to have a good day for once -w- i just hope this isn’t a bad omen that things are about to get super fucked#im not trying to be negative!! but it is a genuine pattern in my life that whenever i have a good day or things go well for a bit#that means something disastrous is looming around the corner#i guess we’ll see :’)#snow.txt
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ok yes loving daisy jones so far bc i did just re read the book today so i’m back in it but my one qualm so far is that daisy is not unhinged like?? i don’t mind what minor plot/story changes they have made so far in fact i like it bc the book is completely told by multiple unreliable narrators that’s the whole point esp with the “plot twist” billy’s version (and daisys to less of an extent but still close to it bc she cared about camilla so she wouldn’t want to hurt julia) of things can’t be believed at all lmaooo so i don’t mind the changes i feel it’s a good way to frame it more real or whatever but my issue is why is Daisy so like put together??? she was insane and off her shit from age fourteen but so far three eps in she’s so ?? composed?? even in daisys unreliable pov of the book she knows she was an addict and a disaster and billy too on the first tour but in the show it’s so toned down maybe for viewer rating sakes? like maybe they can’t show heroin on prime shows idk lmaooo
#i do like it so far tho#i knew there would be A LOt of changes from the source material so i’m not like upset or shocked at what’s different so far#making a show BASED on a book is a whole thing bc u have to market it for ppl who haven’t read it as well it’s not meant to be#like catering directly to readers they have to make it to appeal to the general audience of ppl who have never heard of the book otherwise#they make no money so i get it and even before the early reviews came out i knew exactly what they would say that it veers off from the book#but i just think daisy should have been shown in a more real light she’s so together and sober in the show#not saying i enjoy the fact she was so addicted and a disaster but it was real that’s why ppl loved it bc it’s true that’s how it was like#she is and the book is based on real ppl#also pls don’t take my semi passionate ranting as an endorsement for the author LOL#tjr has stuff i like but not love i don’t think she’s revolutionary or anything close to that#like look at evelyn i loved it for like less that 24 hours i read it in a night and by two days later when the reader high faded i was like#wait actually……#you know?? and even daisy book i was never hooked x that hard when i first read it i was like yeah that was a fun read but also read it in#less than three hours it was just an easy light fun read in my opinion based on the books i gravitate to it was very light#and i reread it today and yes i enjoyed it immensely bc that’s how it was written in a fast paced enjoyable feel things briefly way#but the thing about tjr is i don’t think it was meant to read in a light way bc i see so many ppl like dying emotionally over her books and#i’m just like?? her writing isn’t that ‘deep’ or well tbh good#but it is goood in the way that it’s a good read technical skills aside it is entertaining and i do like a couple of hers#sorry i’m not shitting on her i like her but there are some aspects of her writing/her that i take issue with mainly in evelyn but that’s#another long ass topic/rant#i am a book snob i think LOL i’m sorry i’m i want to make it clear#just bc a book is an easy read doesn’t mean it’s BAD i just read a lot#like 300+ books a year since i was ten and that’s not me trying to flex it’s depressing truly bc i read to escape my fucked up issues#anyway#ummmm#i’m excited for more episodes LOL#i am really i’m loving it so far bc i need to feel something so this helps a bit
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the pushback against the zone of interest as “holokitsch” feels a lot like the pushback against son of saul, wherein a lot of people just don’t like holocaust movies that refuse to give you a cathartic, happy ending and instead force you to confront the actual horror that happened through some clearly well thought out camera styling & cinematography. which is like, the complete oppose of “kitschy” and it’s why i think the argument is stupid as fuck.
#i’m sorry that a movie about a genocide made you sad. go watch a marvel movie idk what u expected!!#i am not even a person who likes watching sad movies most of the time. but i’m not about to walk into a holocaust movie.#and complain that it made me feel weird. grow up!!!#rani makes text posts no one will read#i’ve seen reviews bitching that ‘well if we don’t see how it works how do we know’ if u don’t know how the camps worked at your big age#how exactly is that the director’s problem. i know your ass read night in high school!!!
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actually a walk can’t fix me
#just got attacked#dad walked in and asked what i was doing (my back wasn’t feeling well so i was laying face down and told him i was waiting for my laundry#to finish drying so i can go get it and then he switched and started yelling at me about some random ass shit so i just said ok u can leave#now that u said what u wanted to say and he was like I’m Not Leaving blah blah and i was like ok well i don’t want to hear u yelling like u#can leave… and normally when he yells i just don’t answer back bc then they get mad i’m talking back but today i rly am just sick of it#all so i tried to explain myself and he just said stop w the excuses blah blah IDC stop using ur sickness as an excuse#like K :)#was so close to telling him i’d k*ms soon so he didn’t have to deal w me but i know that would send his rage even more#anyway what’s parents deal w wanting to be in ur room all the time?? like how exactly does that bother u….. i could b out all day and you’d#hate that too so what exactly… do they want frm me….#anyway x2…. yea…. i’m just not going to speak for the rest of the day and avoid them all as much as i can for idk.. the rest of the week#i rly wish i’d just be brave enough to end it but well.#p
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