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#u can have all the burgers in the world
sourkreem · 1 month
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birthday hangout!! they went to jasons favourite shitty diner afterwards :)
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not him eating a very sugary burger fondant cake
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lightbulb-warning · 1 month
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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br1ghtestlight · 10 months
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love how elusive the years between 18 and 30 are for both bob and linda in the show. we dont know ANYTHING we don't know if linda went to college if she had friends or roommates how she met ginger if she was still living with her parents how she met hugo WHAT HER PREVIOUS JOB WAS?? and for bob we don't know if he still worked at his dads restaurant after their fight if he still lived with him where he could've lived or worked otberwise if he had friends or roommates what his plan in life was. and we'll never know the answers to these questions either bcuz I don't think the writers actually thought that far ahead
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brainrotdotorg · 9 months
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imagine a dashboard for alligators. what do you think that would look like
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🍏gatoridae Follow
Controversial opinion. If you're doing nothing but eating meat, what are you even doing. Remember to include bugs, fruits, and legumes into your diet in order to help aid digestion of the meat that you get from snakes, fish, and mammals.
Just because we have the reputation for eating lots of meat, that doesn't mean we have to stick to it.
🥒biting-you-biting-you Follow
counterpoint: fuit yucky
🪵blog-from-a-bog Follow
wdym reputation of eating meat. i float lik ea log thats what im known for
4,904 notes
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🌿swamp-ass Follow
asked dad if i could go and steal some Floridian guy's lunch and he said "we have prey at home" girl we have been doing shit ALL DAY i am an awesome 600 pounds and I need some meat left on me to deathroll with. let me get a quick snack that i don't need to kill mmmmmmm burgers I want people food soooooo badddd....... i know they shouldn't feed it to me but I have such a lovely smile oh please oh please give me your burger.........
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🥗aliali-seeyoulater Follow
mom says it was cold the season she laid me so i have to be a girl. because girls are always born from eggs laid during cold seasons.
cope and seethe mother first of all, second of all, the reason i am transgender is because you kept me too fucking snuggly warm in the nest.
#i guess if you wanted a daughter you should have. idk. made a shittier nest? #thats not really my fault man
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⛰fuckyeahhugesnout Follow
You'll never guess how I just learned that we have the honor of being the "loudest reptiles in the world"
🫑teethem Follow
Yeah yeah, the 90 decibel mating bellow, we've all heard it.
🤢ch0mper Follow
we've all heard the what
135,633 notes
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🩲gaytorrr Follow
this guy asked if i wanted to see his gator hole and i said fuck yes. why this boy take me into a 65 foot long hole in the mud at the bottom of the lake
6,421 notes
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🏞daily-clawsitivity
✨Remember to take it easy sometimes!✨We thrive in slow-moving waters!✨Even though we can run fast, we get tired fast too-- it's okay to let yourself take breaks!✨Let yourself relax, that's how we made it this far as a species.
mud-rocks-deactivated20140706
Yeah, imagine telling your prehistoric great great great great great great great great great great grandpa or something to calm down and relax when he should be doing nothing but deathrolls. the longevity of the species should be your only goal. It's irresponsible to encourage your fucking species to fall behind even more than it already has? Have some pride, you're not a crocodile.
scalesssss-deactivated20150310
jesus christ calm down
alidile-crocogator-deactvated20140709
Okay, this post has a lot of misconceptions in it. There aren't as many differences between crocodiles and alligators than you think. It's really harmful to think that we have nothing in common with each other. So what if they're carnivores and we're closer to omnivores, or their snouts are more U shaped while ours are V shaped. We're both badass miracles of nature that have no reason to be pit against one another all the time.
Don't listen to guys like this. It's just hateful and small-minded.
stop-jawlock-androll-deactivated20140911
crocs are like. like them shoes that float right
wetlandia898 Follow
i wish i was a crocodile because i could have a virgin birth and i wanted to see what it would be like to eat an immaculate conception.
bigchallengesrealblog-deactivated20190412
welcome to the no notes gator/croc discourse post.
🦖l8rg8tr-z Follow
omg this is the post.... i can't believe i would see this naturally on my dash
🎍taildraggers Follow
Uh are we just going to ignore the virgin birth reply orrrrrrrrr
🐊gator-heritage-posts
gator heritage post
0 notes
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Follow
hgwiow h
hsfhjs
howw ws i nbevyrboy tyopingssaog oo vd wi hhrth rh thrre cl alawas ?>>
🌴a-l-g-t-r Follow
lmao this idiot never learned how to use their tail to type
#/j lol yeah its kind of hard at first #actually i'd say cut your losses and forget how to type bring the laptop back to the dumpster its not worth it
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🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow
am i fucking stupid. i just learned theres another species of alligator other than just me and the guys in my swamp. and i said "oh wow I didn't know that! which one of the two are we haha" and my buddy just stared at me like I was a fucking idiot. how am i supposed to know if no one ever tells me this . WHICH AM I
🍖meet-eat3r Follow
there are only 70-80 mature chinese gators in existence while there are 750,00-1 million mature american gators . do the math.
🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow
i could have just hatched you don't know me.
20,570 notes
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🍀gatortears Follow
a group of queer gators in church call that a congregaytion
#reblogging this one bc none of you appreciate me
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👞makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow
I'm seeing the no notes gator/croc post circulate again and ha ha yes it's very funny, but we are NOT starting gator/croc discourse in 2024. lets leave that shit in the past. i know that's not what the post really ended up being about but i am soooooo sick of it.
🌾clawstothewalls Follow
okay, so the one with a fetish for getting turned into handbags is gonna talk down to us now.
👞 makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow
Not to be a pedant but its Shoes Actually. It even says so in the name. Shoes.
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saetoru · 1 year
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Tee 🥹 so RB Gojo always shows up to YNs house unexpectedly or wants her to come over. What if one day out of the blue, like 2 am she shows up at his house in tears due to stress. And for once he can be the caretaker and dependable one. And then she falls asleep in his arms arms and he gets to be the big spoon for once. I could see her whispering “you’re it for me too” while thinking he’s asleep.- dabitee anon
✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。BEFORE & AFTER — GOJO SATORU. (rich boy! au)
contents. college au, rich boy! gojo, stressed reader :(, comfort, cheesy banter lol i tried ok, slightly based off of this drabble
notes. dabitee anon. babie u are my biggest rb! gojo inspo u always think of the sweetest lil moments between them sobsss i adore you sm
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sometimes, gojo forgets you're not always put together. sometimes, you struggle to get assignments finished, and sometimes you don't wake up for work on the first alarm, and sometimes studying is too much to handle no matter how determined you are for an A.
"thinking about me this late, sweetheart?" he grins as soon as he picks up your call, laying back on one arm as he stares at the ceiling. he doesn't expect to see you call at two am, but you do—and when he hears the short, wet sniffle through the phone, he doesn't waste a moment to sit up. "sweetheart? you good?"
"toru can you let me in?" you ask quietly. gojo feels every crack in your voice pierce into his chest—it's rare for you to need him like this. he thinks he's always needed you more than you've needed him, truthfully. you've always opened doors after he's stormed out on his father, you've always laced your fingers after arguments with suguru, and you've always rubbed his back when he's hunched over toilets after one too many drinks.
when was the last time you've let yourself need gojo? he doesn't have the time to even try and remember, his feet carrying him over to open his front door quietly. and it's you—you with teary eyes and puffy cheeks, you with tired dark circles and wobbly lips. it's you, but it's not the you he knows, the one he's used to.
the one good thing about gojo satoru is he always knows how to talk—he speaks enough for two, knows how to fill the silence when you can't bring yourself to speak. his arms tug you into his chest before you can open your mouth to explain.
"did you drive all the way here with those watery eyes?" he hums, "wanted to see me that bad? it's dangerous driving like that, baby."
"didn't wanna be alone," you mumble, sniffling into his chest. his hands are big—they're good for rubbing slow circles into your back, the warmth of his palm seeping in through your shirt and pressing against your skin.
"i'd have come if you texted me," he hums, "'m always up, anyway. you know i was beating suguru's ass in mortal combat? he owes me a burger."
"you can afford one yourself, idiot," you huff, making him chuckle. something about the low rumble of his chest against your cheek makes the tears flow a little faster—not because you feel worse, but because it's safe enough that you can.
sometimes, you forget gojo isn't that spoiled and whiny handful you love to call him. sometimes, you're reminded that he's used to being alone, that carrying emotions enough for two is his forte. your cheek presses harder against his chest, like you could bury yourself inside of him like that, like hiding away in his ribcage is where you're safest from the rest of the world. maybe it is—maybe all you need is him to make it safe.
"who's got my baby crying the night before an 8 am class?" he asks softly, “i’ll punch ‘em.”
“what if i say you, will you punch yourself?”
“for you, always,” he nods seriously.
he knows how to ask these things like that: like it's not heavy, like you can make a light-hearted joke or two so that you're not drowning in your own vulnerability. sometimes, you forget that gojo is no stranger to hiding his own vulnerability, that he knows how to hide it under a playful grin and a cheeky laugh.
"that group assignment's due soon and no one's done anything yet but me, and i had to pick up an extra shift to cover for someone, and that quiz coming up is apparently super hard, and my electricity bill was high this month and i don't know why, and....and—"
"okay," he hums, "the electricity might've been me," he says with a quiet chuckle, "i always forget to turn the lights off. I'll handle it, yeah?"
"but—"
"it's not paying for you," he cuts you off, "it's paying you back. there's a difference. now c'mon. i make good hot chocolate."
"it's out of a packet," you sniffle, lips curled into a pout as his thumb swipes away at your tears. he traces the swell of your cheek before pinching it lightly, making you huff.
"hey," he gasps, "it's special because i put extra chocolate in it! it's my secret ingredient."
"it's not a secret if it's the main ingredient, toru," you mumble, letting his fingers thread with yours as he tugs you along to follow him.
"do you just live to correct me?" he whines, "can't i have one thing?"
and when he hears that soft, breathy little giggle from you, he smiles to himself, the ache of his chest calming just a little. you think gojo could always do that if he tried—pull a small laugh or two out of you even if the world was crumbling around you, keep your lips curved up even as everything goes wrong.
he's enough to forget about that damn project, and that extra shift, and that absurd quiz, and that distressing bill. maybe it's in the way he makes the whipped cream look like a crooked heart in your mug, or the way he burns his tongue as he takes a sip too fast, or the way he swings your arm as he drags you to his room, or the way he wriggles his brows at you as he takes his shirt off before bed, or the way he presses that delicate, sweet, careful little kiss to your forehead as you lay on his chest.
because he has to be enough, he thinks as he holds you, he has to be good enough for you that he outweighs every bad thing you'll ever deal with. he wonders if you know you're it for him, if you know that no one else could fill the spot you've wormed your way into unknowingly. he realizes it that night you hold him, the same night you didn't scold him for ruining your sleep, the same night he finds his way to you when it feels like every road is blocked.
and when the roads are blocked you find your way to him too. so he lays quietly under your cheek, feeling your fingers trace those slow hearts into his skin as he hears you murmur, "i think you're it for me too, toru."
his brows furrow—and then he realizes you must have heard him that night, just like he's hearing you now. a small part of him wants to laugh at the odds, at the way you both can't bring yourselves to say it when you're sure you'll hear each other. the other part of him thinks maybe you were always supposed to find each other, that you were always meant to stay awake and hear hushed words that are supposed to be secrets.
but then you tilt your head up, meeting his eyes, like you know he's awake. oh, he realizes, you've always known, haven't you?
"oh yeah?" he asks, "what if someone cuter and funnier comes along?"
you giggle—not one trace of stress or fear or defeat on your features, not with him there. "i met suguru and still chose you," you tease, making his gasp in disbelief.
"that's so mean," he whines, "i made you hot chocolate with extra chocolate! you can't say my best friend is cuter. and for the record, i'm way funnier than him."
"i'm kidding," you grin, pinching his cheek. "i love you. thank you," you add quietly.
"love you too," he kisses your temple. sometimes, gojo forgets what it was like before you—and he doesn't really want to remember.
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atp rich boy! gojo is just his own character to me sjfjsjfj i’ve just created a whole new dude in my head with the same irritating blue eyes
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jishuuwrites · 3 months
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STREAMER LOVE . . ꩜
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synopsis: in which y/n, a famous streamer, collabs with Agent, her friend ever since her streamer career started, and hangs with him, he slowly realizes he's falling in love?! What should he do?
note: i wrote this late at night. lmk if u want part 2
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"Chat, i am literally gonna die." Y/n sighed as she chugged her energy drink in the background, Agent looked at her before chuckling. "Don't die just yet. We have 47 more minutes until we can end stream." He looks back at his screen.
"Y/n, do a cartwheel." Agent reads one of the chats. Agent then looked at her, "No." She responded.
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"Why not?" Agent asked as he adjusted his headphones. "Cause no." She mumbled. She then looked at Agent, who was still staring at her.
"Alright, fine. If i fucking fail i'll blame it on you." Y/n sighed as she put her energy drink on Agent's desk. She then waddled back and then attempted to do a cartwheel. She almost nails it, but she landed on her ass. "Ouch!!" She groans, rubbing her back.
Agent, who was laughing, looked at her, smiling. She looked back at him with a glare and a pout. "Don't laugh at me like that ever again bro." She huffed.
"You suck." He laughed, Y/n who wasn't taking this lightly said, "Let's see you do it then." She mumbled. "Don't do that." Agent spoke. She could've sworn he looked at her lips for a split second. Agent looks back at the screen.
"Yeah, sure, anyway chat, the craziest shit happened to me earlier before we streamed we were at a ca‐" And as if the world went into slow motion, Agent looked at her with the most lovestruck eyes. Not even realizing nor registering that she was saying something.
"–Ent. Agent!!" Y/n snapped her fingers towards his face. He then snapped out of his trance, looking at her eyes. "Are you that sleepy? We only have like.. 31 more minutes until we can end the stream." She sighed.
"Oh, uhm.. Yeah, i guess." Agent played it cool, trying not to make things obvious, but the chat already knew what he was trying to hide. Though, the girl in front of him was oblivious.
"Hmm.. Alright, i'll go to the bathroom." She then stood up from her chair and walked to the bathroom. Agent stared at her as she was walking away from the room before looking at the camera.
"Yall's better have not clipped that shit." He looked at the camera with a serious expression before breaking the act with a chuckle. "No, but seriously, though. Dont clip that."
Time has passed, and both Y/n and Agent were growing more tired each minute. 19 minutes left before they could end the stream. They both ordered some snacks, before they could even beegin eating, Fanum barged in.
"Fanum tax.." She mumbled to herself, rubbing her forehead. "Yo.. You don't mind giving me some of your burger, don't you, Agent?" Fanum had a sweet but menacing smile on his face.
Agent sighed before splitting the burger in half, giving him the smaller piece. "Nah, uh, the bigger one." He demanded, and Agent gave him the bigger piece.
Happy with what he got, Fanum exited the room. Y/n then burst out laughing, "Goddamn, you let him do you like that?" She giggled.
"Shut up." He playfully rolled his eyes, Y/n split her burger into halves. "Here, i'm not that hungry anyway." Y/n offered.
"You don't ha–" Agent then got cutoff by the girl, "Shut the hell up and take it."
Time went by so quickly, and they had 1 more minute to be able to end the stream. "Alright, chat. This is it, Me and Y/n are tired as hell. Uhm, Yep, that's all. Bye." After exactly 1 minute he ended his stream.
"Damn, i'm so tired.." She yawned, "Where the hell will you sleep? It's like 3am, and it's kinda dangerous out alone." Agent asks, plopping down on his bed.
"Oh, i didn't really think about that." Y/n sweatdropped, Agent then suggested she should sleep on his bed for the night. "No, it's your bed. I'll go sleep on the floor." She sighed.
"No, you sleep on the bed, I sleep on the floor." He says sternly. "How about we just share the bed, since we can't agree on one thing." She suddenly spoke up.
This made Agent blush slightly, but he brushed it off. "I mean, we can use a pillow to split our parts of the bed?" She shrugged.
"Sounds good to me, i guess..?" Y/n then plopped down right next to him and laid down, bringing a pillow to split the bed.
"I'm so fucking sleepy now, goodnight." She faces the opposite way of Agent, "I love you." He blurted out suddenly, thankfully, Y/n didn't hear it. Or did she?
"Repeat that.. When i wake up. Please.." She groaned as she hugged her pillow, Agent then grew nervous. "Oh." is all he could say.
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again, lmk if u want part 2 hihi
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ofc-vi-writes-too · 2 months
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so all ive been able to think about is gotham for the past several days, and more specifically how gothamite culture has to be SO drastically different and jarring to literally anywhere else in the world. Like even other super cities like metropolis, or central city, or wherever else are at least KINDA normal. Like yea u have superman or wonderwoman or the flash but they dont really have to deal with the same level of bs as Gotham.
That being said here are a list of things that I think are extremely normal to Gotham, and other things that happen in thay horrible little city:
• the episode of Hot Ones with Brucie Wayne where no one thinks he’ll even be able to stand the 2nd or 3rd wing but he eats all of them with no reaction, and Sean Evans (or the in universe equivalent) just sits there like “wow no one has ever had literally no reaction before this is really crazy, and Bruce Wayne of all people?” Afterwards Bruce has second thoughts and realizes that maybe he should have played up his reaction to the spice a bit more. People Inside of Gotham are a little shocked because everytime he eats in public it is the most boring, bland, flavorless food imaginable. (he handled the spice so well because Batman is ready for all potential threats and forms of torture. Ridiculous levels of spice included)
• Gotham schools offer courses in self defense. In some school districts its actually mandatory, thats usually in old gotham or downtown gotham. In more affluent areas, self defense is still taught in schools, but most kids are sent to some ritzy trainer to make sure they can defend themselves.
• No one even blinks when theres a new vigilante by the time Damian comes around. Theres still a little buzz but by the time Duke shows up, people are like “Oh cool another one. HEY BRO WHATS YOUR NAME.” I saw someone post here about how when the Wayne kids get mad at Bruce, they go to Selina and make public appearances as Stray, Catwomans sidekick. I personally believe that Tim was the first one to do it but Dick does it the most, and gothamites didnt even need to get used to Stray showing up sometimes, nor did people really care that Stray was always wildly different heights, shapes, colors, etc. the additude is kinda like “I have taxes and job security to worry about. If a new vigilante is what were doing then so be it.”
• People tend to think that Gothamites aren’t smart, but that city is home to the Richest, smartest, most creative people alive. They mostly just lack morals. Like Dr. Freeze, Harley Quinn, hell even The Riddler are all insanely intelligent. Half of Gothams Villains have at minimum 2 Doctorates in something or other. Gotham generates a lot of cash as a whole, and small businesses thrive there. They have high employment rates, and most citizens have their associates despite everything happening around them. People who have never been to Gotham before expect to have to talk down to the citizens but Gothamites just kinda roll their eyes at them and carry on about their merriment.
• Gothamites CONSTANTLY says “because I’m Batman” when they don’t want to explain themselves. Kids hear it a lot from parents and they also get “If you don’t go to sleep, Condiment Man i gonna come and cover you in stinky relish.” Because truly what else is condiment man good for.
• Gothamites who work at BatBurger and typically work the night shift are used to visits from Batman, Robin, Red Hood, Cat Woman, Harley Quinn, etc. Sometimes they remember the workers and ask about their family, and how life is, and other things like that. Theres some barely 18 y/o who just graduated high school who worls at Bat Burger, and asked Red Hood to help him impress his gf by saying theyre friends. He like fuck it why not and tells the gf that the kid helped him save an old lady’s cat in a tree and now theyre bffs. She totally believes it. Score.
• I see the Gotham thinks Batman is Bruce Wayne’s boyfriend theories and raise you: Its pretty common knowledge that Bruce Wayne is Batman, just no one has the heart to tell him. Also theyre scared he will quit if anyone brings it up. So from this Gothamites created the joke that BW and batman are dating and when asked about it in an interview, dick grayson is like “……yes! My adoptive father is dating the guy who dressed up like a bat every night…!”
• this cuased and arguement between Bruce and Dick because no! Bruce isnt dating Batman! (stray was seen again that week) HE IS BATMAN! But fuck now the public thinks theyre a couple so now bruce gets asked about it and hes like “haha yes my spooky bat bf is who i love very dearly!” As punishment He makes Dick bring him flowers in the batsuit because “as far as he is concerned, this is his shithead son’s fault.” Thats a direct quote btw. Little does he know this somehow ties back to Tim Drake before they met.
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luxaofhesperides · 5 months
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greener on the other side.
Danny makes a habit out of hopping into portals and exploring the places he ends up. It just so happens that this time, he ends up in Gotham right as the Signal begins his patrol. Duke meets the strangest, funniest, cutest guy on the roof of the Gotham City Public Library. He knows Batman would not approve of literally anything he's doing, but sue him, he wants a meta friend and this guy seems to be up for it. -- OR: how Duke and Danny get together despite having secret identities and living in different dimensions.
chapter three: how it shines - 8.6k
read the entire fic on ao3!
the final chapter of this fic... and the end to the first fic in the series!! theres a lot i say in the end notes of ao3 so i highly recommend reading this chapter there! . . .
Signal: you ever feel like maybe the world is out to get you
Signal: [attached photo shows Signal lying in the middle of a torn up road, post-fight, his helmet lightly blackened with ash.]
Danny: buddy, the world has already taken me out
Danny: [attached photo is a selfie of Danny, frowning at the camera. Behind him, a large, flying robot is pointing a rocket launcher at him.]
Signal: okay, you win. are you alright???
Danny: lol im fine. this literally happens every week i know how to beat this guy up
Danny: tbh i think the real threat to my existence is school
Signal: so true. one day we will be free of it….
Danny: but not today
Signal: but not today
-
Danny: got a minute?
Signal: yeah what’s up?
Danny: u have a secret identity
Signal: …yes?
Danny: have u told other people abt ur secret identity
Signal: yes? but some of them just kinda found out on their own
Signal: why? 
Danny: how did that go. did they react well? did u have to defend urself from them?
Signal: there were some problems about me throwing myself in danger, but i was always safe with them
Danny: okay. cool. got it.
Signal: everything okay?
Danny: im thinking about telling my parents a secret about me. im kinda terrified of how they’re going to react
Signal: are you coming out to them?
Danny: in a way i guess. 
Danny: gonna recruit my sister into helping me talk to them. and also get rid of all their weapons beforehand so there’s a lower chance of them shooting me
Signal: shooting you?!?!? dude are you going to be okay??? don’t do anything that could get you hurt!!
Danny: gtg
Signal: dude??
Signal: danny?
Signal: let me know how it goes, okay? i can’t travel through dimensions like you can, but i can figure something out if you need a rescue
Signal: good luck danny!
-
Danny: ever get into a fist fight with a walmart knock off vampire in the parking lot of a burger joint?
Danny: [attached photo is Danny’s hand flipping off a man hovering in a parking lot. He’s wearing a cape and vampire-coded clothes.]
Signal: ever have a snack break in the middle of fighting a crocodile man?
Signal: [attached photo shows Signal holding up a half eaten taco, a giant crocodile man behind him with his own box of tacos. They’re sitting next to each other in an alley.]
Danny: point to u bc u actually got food
Signal: 😝
Signal: also, everything okay? with your parents?
Danny: let’s not talk about that.
Signal: okay. but if you do want to talk, i’ll be here for you
-
Danny: idk if dash is trying to annoy me into another fling or if he actually wants me to throw him across the field but if he doesn’t back off im going for violence
Signal: uh
Danny: THAT WAS MEANT FOR TUCKER IM SO SORRY
Signal: should i be jealous that someone is hoping for another fling with you lol
Danny: it was once and will never happen again. 1) he’s not my type 2) he’s so annoying
Danny: also why would u get jealous of anyone ure literally a hero? hello?
Signal: hey man that guy is with you in your dimension and im all the way over here
Signal: totally reasonable for me to get jealous!! this is like a more extreme version of having online friends
Danny: true… hey i can swing by for the weekend if u want!! honestly the less time i spend here the better
Signal: that bad?
Danny: i’ve known everyone here for my entire life. i need OUT
Danny: gothams cool! its a big city with things to do!!! obviously im gonna like it more than Normal Town Illinois 🤮
Signal: weather is bad all week tho…. even if you come over we wouldnt be able to go out
Signal: its been a while since we had a storm so bad
Danny: man if that was happening here i would be able to punch the storm away
Signal: im taking that as a joke
Danny: no i literally punched a storm away before. he was a dick tho he deserved it
Signal: ….this is still Normal Town Illinois right?
Danny: .
Danny: ok fine maybe u have a point
Danny: anyways!!! i just wanna hang out with you dude i would be happy just playing video games or something
Signal: we can do that!! let me know when u get here 😊
Signal: and good luck dealing w this dash guy!!
Danny: ugh dont remind me
-
Signal: hye u know our plana to hang out tody
Signal: maybe rain chek tht im not goos company rn
Danny: u ok? i can always come by some other weekend
Signal: got hit and everythif bad
Danny: did u hit ur head?
Signal: yes
Danny: ok im going to call u so you can stop looking at ur phone screen. just in case u have a concussion
-
The phone rings twice before Signal picks up. He mumbles something that might be a hello, but it’s honestly hard to tell. 
“Hey, man,” Danny says, leaning back in his chair to look up at the faded glow in the dark stars he stuck up on his ceiling years ago. “Are you okay?”
Signal hums a vague response, then sighs, sending static down the line. “Just got a headache right now. Can’t even go out since it’s too bright.”
“Is it sunny in Gotham right now?”
“No, it’s super cloudy and that’s still too much. I hate concussions.” There’s a bit of a whine in his voice that reminds Danny that under the helmet, Signal is a normal guy just like anyone else. And like everyone else, powers don’t save him from the pain of brain trauma. 
Danny would know; he’s gotten pretty good at taking care of injuries and the such through his high school career of getting tossed in lockers and attacked by ghosts. He’s pretty sure parts of his brain are still rattled from the amount of times he’s been thrown into and through walls. 
“I hear you, man,” Danny commiserates, “Head injuries are the worst. But it should start feeling better in a few days, so you can just stay home and relax until the pain stops.”
“Ugh, I wish. I still have to go to school tomorrow.”
“Dude, that sucks. If you can stay home sick, then don’t force yourself to go. Concussions are no joke.”
Signal hums again, then mumbles, “I can’t think of an excuse. Cause the concussion is from being hit on patrol so like. I can’t say that! I have to figure out a reason for my civilian identity to have a concussion.”
“Can I suggest something?”
“Please, I’ll take anything at this point, man. My brain is done for.”
“Make up an embarrassing story. You have to make yourself look silly and people will believe you more and not ask follow up questions because you’re too embarrassed to say more.”
“...Keep talking. This sounds viable. The only advice I got was to basically fake my death or get into a car accident to get more injured.”
“I think you need to fight whoever said that,” Danny says, “That is horrible advice.”
“I know!” Signal laughs. “Oh I shouldn’t have laughed, my head is hurting more.”
Danny lets out a slow breath, tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling of his bedroom. If he strains his hearing, he can make out the rustle of fabric from Signal’s end of the call as well as the murmur of his parent’s voices downstairs. He closes his eyes and focuses on the call, pushing away the heavy weight of regret on his chest that hits him each time he thinks about his parents. 
Now is not the time for that. Signal needs calm and quiet, so Danny is going to give that to him and then let him go to rest.
“Are you drinking enough water? Getting some comfort food?”
“Yeah, I’m being taken care of. Don’t worry Danny, I got a whole crew of dysfunctional caretakers.”
“Good. I’ll let you get back to resting, then.”
“I’m still so sorry I had to cancel. I was looking forward to seeing you again.”
Warmth rises to his cheeks and Danny rubs a hand against them, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach that came to life at those words.  “We can always do a different day. Let me know when you feel better, okay?”
“Yeah, alright. Thanks, Danny.”
“I hope you feel better soon, Signal. I missed you too.”
There’s a pause where Danny’s heart pounds hard against his chest, as though trying to escape his ribcage. He bites his tongue, wondering it that was too much, if he made things weird, if Signal didn’t feel the same way. 
And then Signal says with a soft voice, “I can’t wait to see you again. You’re too sweet to me.”
“Okay!” Danny squeaks, cheeks aflame, “Go sleep, Signal! I’ll talk to you once you can look at a screen again.”
“Alright. Thanks, Danny.”
“Of course, dude. Bye.”
Signal makes a soft mumble that could be ‘bye’ but it’s hard to tell with Signal’s voice going all rough and low, exhausting in every sound, and then the call is ending. 
Danny drops the phone onto his desk and draws his knees up to hold them against his chest. He rests his chin on them, filled with longing for Gotham.
Not just for the Signal, though that’s a big part of it. But for the anonymity of a big city in a dimension where he doesn’t exist. A place where he can be himself, just Danny instead of being torn between his parent’s son and Phantom. Plus, Gotham has heroes! Not other ghosts, not ghost hunters, but people with superpowers who help people whenever they can. 
It would be nice to be someplace like Gotham where he wouldn’t have to carry the responsibility of protecting an entire city on his shoulders. It would be nice to have friends who understand why he can’t not give his all to protect people, regardless of how they feel for him, friends who make the same choice, friends who aren’t weighed down by guilt with their part in his death.
As much as he loves Sam and Tucker, he knows that will be something that haunts them for the rest of their lives. 
It’s better now that it had been in freshman year, but it’s still something that changed them all. He’ll always love them, and he knows they love him, but they need to spend some time apart.
In Amity Park, they’re the outsiders who are too weird for the rest of the school, outcasts who stick together, a tightly knit group full of secrets. They’ve been each others only friends for the longest time; sometimes, others come in and out of their lives, like Valerie, but the bond he has with Sam and Tucker can’t be replicated. 
They need to be with new people to grow any more. He can see how they’re holding each other back. 
They’ll always find a way to be together, but they have to be apart first.
Gotham will be good for that. 
Hell, any place in that dimension would be good!
Danny just wants to be more than he is, wants to be better and he can’t do that here or with his friends. 
And he certainly can’t do that with his parents.
After telling them about everything’s he’s done as Phantom, all the times he’s ruined their inventions or fought with the GIW or endangered people through his fights with other ghosts, his parents just stared at him. They were seated around the kitchen table, Jazz standing behind Danny with a comforting hand on his shoulder, as his parents just… stared.
There were no accusations of possession, no weapons drawn, no demands for an explanation. Just a haunted look in his parents eyes as they went silent, still, horrified. 
“Danny,” his mom had whispered, “You mean you’re—”
“I’m Phantom, yeah. The ghost menace,” he had answered.
“You’re dead,” she finished as if he hadn’t spoken. “You died and we didn’t… we never noticed. What— How—”
The thing about being Phantom is that Danny knows he died. He knows he came back changed. But he doesn’t like thinking about it, still wakes up from nightmares of electricity racing through his body, frying him from inside out as it stops and restarts his heart in an endless painful pattern. Yes he died, but he got powers out of it! He got to meet other ghosts, explore the Infinite Realms, do so many cool things no one else is able to do…
But he still died. Half of him is still dead. He’s never going to be the kid he once was.
“It was an accident,” he had whispered, “With the portal. The on button is inside it, and when I went in for some stupid picture, I tripped and hit it.”
“And we only cared about the portal working,” his dad had said, grief coloring every line in his face. “We didn’t even look at you. We just went straight for the portal. We were so happy to be right that we didn’t stop to think about what it meant, how it could have happened…”
The tears he saw well up in his parents eyes made his heart twist uncomfortably in his chest. For several long minutes, silence settled around them as his parents closed either eyes are stared down at the table, refusing to look at him. Jazz had squeezed his shoulder, then pulled him up out of his seat.
“Danny, go upstairs. Or to Tucker’s place. I need to have my own talk with them,” she had said. There was a steel in her gaze that told Danny there was no use in arguing, so he walked out the front door and transformed so he could fly out into the woods where he could be alone, watching the sky change colors as the sun set.
It’s been two weeks since then. His parents still can’t look at him for too long. They can’t look him in the eyes at all.
He wonders if he would have preferred them trying to kill him. At least then they would acknowledge that he’s still here instead of moving around him as if he’s a memory haunting the halls of their home, one they’re too guilty to face just yet. 
He misses his dad’s loud voice and enthusiasm. He misses his mom’s quick wit and quicker reflexes. He misses the chaos of each meal they would have together and how his parents would drag him and Jazz along on random, sudden trips for the sake of science. 
He misses his parents. 
Danny hates that the family he loves died with him in that portal. 
As much as he still loves them, being in the house, and in Amity Park in general, is suffocating. The farther he can get from them the better; Danny isn’t sure he’d react well if he stayed in this universe and woke up one day with his parents decided to break into his new home because they finally feel up to having a conversation with him. 
Maybe he’d talk to Signal about what living in Gotham is like. That might help him make a decision on what to do with himself once he graduates from Casper High School.
He’ll save it for the next time they meet. 
Some things are better done in person, after all. And it wouldn’t hurt for Danny to use it as an excuse to make sure he’s fine. 
But for now, he’ll wait until the days pass and keep daydreaming about better things.
-
Signal: hey man, u doing okay? i haven’t heard from u in a while
Danny: yeah im good! i was waiting for u to text first bc i didnt know how long you’d need to recover from a concussion
Signal: ive been good for a while, dude. dw abt waiting to text me, just send me something and i’ll reply once i can!!
Danny: i’ll keep that in mind for the next time u get injured 👍
Signal: but fr are u good? tell me to back off if u need but u seem kinda down
Danny: im fine!!! just dealing w the crushing weight of existence, that’s all 🫠
Signal: oh mood. anything i can do to make things better for u?
Danny: nah it’s fine, im just like this sometimes. i promise it’ll pass
Signal: want a distraction?
Danny: please
Signal: so i was just swinging thru the streets as i do and this group called me down while theyre having a huge argument
Signal: so i go bc i dont want things escalating yknow? 
Signal: and idk the context of this argument AT ALL but one of them turns to me
Signal: looks me dead in the eyes
Signal: and says ‘penis enhancement pills are NOT a thing, right?’
Danny: SKDFJALSDJ NO WAY
Signal: oh man. this isnt even the best part of this story
Danny: there’s MORE?????
Signal: its gotham, danny, there’s always more lmao
Signal: so anyways……..
-
Danny: i hope you know that story has been haunting me all week
Danny: dash was being a dick again and i was half asleep so i told him ‘maybe u’d be less of a dick if u stop taking penis enhancing pills’
Signal: THATS GOLD
Signal: my job here is done. nothing will ever top that. i’ll see myself out ✌️
Danny: he looked so shocked lmaooo
Danny: tried to say he DOESNT take any pills but it was too late
Danny: he was too flustered by it no one believed him
Danny: top 10 things to say to ur former bully
Signal: i didnt know he bullied u. good for u! get his ass!
Danny: he’s fine now lol just annoying. we all grew out of the super cliche high school phase after freshman year when we had to work together to fend off ghosts and the government
Signal: nothing like a little anarchy to bring people together
Signal: its why im still good friends w the people who were in a gang i joined when i was younger to be like. street kid vigilantes bc gotham was going bad back then
Danny: everything u say about gotham and ur life is so fascinating literally how are u real?? ure the perfect ya novel protagonist
Signal: thats the sweetest thing anyones ever said to me ❣️
Signal: but also lol. lmao. gotham really is just like that. no one is immune
Signal: u also sound like a ya protag jsyk. 
Danny: literally how im so boring??
Signal: danny. babe. im gonna have to bring out the capital letters for this bc i get the feeling that u really believe that
Danny: oh boy
Signal: Listen. You live in a small town that’s Haunted, fight ghosts, have powers, went from being bullied to being chill with your bully, and can travel the multiverse. You are a YA Protagonist.
Danny: damn i can’t argue with that :/
Danny: why’d i have to be the ghost hunter’s ghost son. i wanna be a side character. give me a refund on this life pls
Signal: do i dare ask clarification on the ghost thing?
Danny: uuuh no? its kinda personal and im dealing w it but its also kinda like ur civilian id?
Danny: its something i’ll share once we’re closer and i know u better and can trust u with it
Signal: totally fair. want me to pretend that part of the conversation never happened?
Danny: please
Signal: cool. watch this
Signal changed Danny’s name to YA protag (real)
YA protag (real): ooooh my god
YA protag (real): im not taking this lying down
YA protag (real) changed Signal’s name to YA menace
YA protag (real) changed their name to YA protag (retired)
YA menace: lmao
YA menace: does this mean… ure my senior…. my knowledgeable mentor… my senpai 🥺
YA protag (retired): i will throw us both into a black hole dont even try me 🔪
YA menace: LMAO
YA menace: fair. just saying that dealt me so much psychological damage
YA protag (retired): deserved
-
YA protag (retired): can we attempt Danny Visits Gotham: 2! Electric Boo-galoo?
YA menace: yeah!!!! im free this weekend if u wanna come by then!!
YA protag (retired): i can do this weekend!!
YA menace: i will do my very best not to get a head injury before then
YA protag (retired): can u maybe aim for no injuries?
YA menace: danny we need to be realistic here
YA menace: my goal is to have no bleeding wounds that need stitches. as long as i don’t bleed its not a problem 👍
YA protag (retired): …..
YA menace: no need for the judgment i have everything under control
YA protag (retired): …………
YA protag (retired): :/
-
YA menace: lmk when ure gonna be in gotham! i’ll make sure to be outside waiting for u
YA protag (retired): i’ll be another hour but i’ll send a msg before i head out!!
YA protag (retired): actually it might be a bit longer i gotta fight some people who are trying to cheer me up
YA menace: should i be concerned
YA protag (retired): nah its fine they’re just annoying
YA menace: if u need to reschedule
YA protag (retired): noooo!!!! i’ll be in gotham soon i swear!!!!
YA menace: ok!! ok!!!! i will keep waiting for you then 🫡
-
Duke waits for an hour and a half, swinging through streets and waving to people, before Danny texts him to let him know that he’s next to the botanical gardens. 
One moment, Duke is perched on the roof of a Mexican restaurant in the Bowery. The next, he’s halfway across Gotham, swinging recklessly from building to building.
So what if he’s excited to see Danny again! That’s normal!
Anyone would do the same in his position.
Plus, Duke still feels so bad about having to cancel last time due to his concussion. The sooner he gets to Danny, the sooner he can start making up for it. He didn’t spend the last few patrols being extra careful for nothing; he only has a few bruise and no bleeding at all! 
Danny’s star glow helps Duke find him behind the botanical gardens, hidden away from the rest of the street. 
He drops down from the roof, using the shadows to soften the impact of landing.
When he looks at Danny, leaning against the building, he’s greeted with a bright smile. 
“Signal!” he says, pushing off the wall to close the distance between them. “I hope I didn’t make you wait too long or anything.”
“Nah, you’re good. You alright?”
“Oh, yeah, of course! It was just some friendly fighting, and they wouldn’t be able to really hurt me even if they tried. I’m all good! So, what’s the plan for today?”
Duke looks him over just in case, but Danny does appear to be perfectly fine. Not a single bruise on him. Maybe it was just a few friends roughhousing with him? That might be it, since Sam and Tucker did try to take each other out last time they were in Gotham. So he’s just going to go with what Danny says! He’s fine, and they can move on!
He’s totally going to worry about it later, but right now is not the time for it when Danny’s waiting to spend the day with him.
“Well, I still have to finish patrol, but that’s just for another hour if you wanna join me,” he says. “And then we can head to the Hatch to just… hang out. Or we can find something else to do, totally up to you.”
“The Hatch?” Danny repeats, tilting his head to the side curiously. Duke has to take a moment and just appreciate how cute Danny is before he can compose himself enough to answer.
“Yeah, it’s like my… secret base? HQ? The place I go for superhero things that is for me, specifically, and that I don’t have to share with a bunch of other people.”
“You have a secret base?! That’s so awesome! I just have—” Danny falters, his excitement falling, and then he plasters on a pained, fake smile. “I’ve always wanted to see a superhero’s HQ. Are you sure it’s fine to show it to me, though?”
Part of him wants to ask about what he was going to say before switching gears, but the drawn expression on his face is more than enough to make Duke back off. “Yeah, man, don’t even worry about it. Besides, it’s not like there’s any other places we can go to without me revealing my identity, you know?”
“Fair enough,” Danny nods. “But maybe one day we can?”
“For sure,” Duke says. “Come on, up for a quick patrol around Gotham?”
“Oh, definitely.” The light returns to Danny’s eyes as he lifts off the ground, floating. The smile on his face is more sincere, and the sight of it makes the knot of worry in Duke’s heart pull loose. He pulls his grapple out and aims for the highest ledge of Poison Ivy’s greenhouse, tucked in the back of the botanical gardens, then takes off.
Danny is flying next to him immediately, a blur of invisibility, and they fall into a rhythm quickly as they head towards the Bowery. As Duke free runs and swings between buildings, Danny flies around him, the occasional laugh slipping past his lips as he circles around Duke. 
It’s hard not to have his attention stolen by Danny, but Duke is here to protect the people of Gotham, so he focuses 90% of his attention to the streets, keeping an eye and ear out for any trouble. 
There’s not much happening today, thankfully. He’s only had to stop a few burglaries, a bank robbery, and chase off a stalker before Danny arrived. Truthfully, the peace is making him nervous; there hasn’t been a big attack to the city in a while, with no word on the movement of rogues and nothing big brewing among the gangs and mobs. Peace rarely lasts so long in Gotham, and Duke is genuinely worried the next thing will be some continent destroying, apocalypse bringing disaster. 
In the last hour of his patrol, he only has to stop a purse-snatcher and help someone move their broken down car off the street and into a parking lot. Danny stays in the air for both, invisible to everyone but him, and the blur of his aura floats around the areas Duke stops at curiously. 
They hit up touristy places last time he was in Gotham, and food trucks before that. Maybe next time Duke can get takeout from a nice restaurant and they can have a rooftop picnic. 
Not quite a date, not yet at least, but something close to it. A testing of the waters. An unspoken promise for something more.
With the hour ends, Duke comes to stop on the roof of a tattoo parlor and gestures for Danny to join him. 
The blur of invisibility fades away and Danny’s features come back into focus as he lowers himself down to the roof. 
“What’s up?” Danny asks, glancing around them curiously.
“It’s about time for patrol to end, so we can head to the Hatch now. But I do need to blindfold you so you don’t see where the Hatch is located.”
“Oh! Yeah, that’s fine. Will I just have to hold onto you or something? Since I won’t be able to see where we’re going.”
“I was thinking I’d just carry you. It’s easier that way.”
“Sure, that works!” Danny closes his eyes, cheeks already darkening with a blush. “I’ll just… let you blindfold me now?”
Duke desperately wants to smoosh Danny’s cheeks together in his hands, but valiantly resists the urge. He’s on a mission! To hang out with Danny! He can cry about how cute Danny is later!
He walks up to Danny on silent feet, circling around him. Then he lifts his hands, picturing the light solidifying in his palms, turning to fabric that darkens and obscures, bending the light to be darker and darker until it’s nearly black. He gently pulls it across Danny’s eyes, leaning in closer to him to make sure he’s not putting it on too tightly.
Danny gasps slightly when his back bumps into Duke’s chest, and Duke can’t help the way his eyes dart down to Danny’s mouth, his red cheeks, the long line of his neck. 
Focus, he tells himself sternly, and draws the ends of his makeshift blindfold back to tie the ends together behind Danny’s head. 
“There,” he says in a low voice. “All done.”
Danny doesn’t answer. He just leans back against Duke, pressing them together slightly, and Duke brings his hands down to Danny’s hips to hold his steady.
“Ready to go?”
“Ready,” Danny answers in a faint voice. “How do you want me?”
Now that’s a dangerous question to ask right then and there. Duke bites back a number of flirtatious, suggestive answers, and makes himself actually think about the best way he can carry Danny while grappling to the Hatch. He’ll need one hand free to grapple, but also needs to keep a secure grip on Danny…
He steps to the side and guides one of Danny’s arms up to wrap around his shoulders. Then he picks Danny up, leaving him to wrap his legs around his waist as he walks over to the edge of the roof and looks towards the area in Gotham where the Hatch is hidden. Duke takes a moment to adjust his arm to keep Danny secure against his chest, then takes hold of his grapple with his free hand.
“Ready?” he checks, tightening his hold on Danny’s waist.
Danny nods against his neck, tucking his face in the crook of Duke’s shoulder. “Ready!”
Duke grins and jumps off the building, shooting out his grapple as they begin to fall. Danny yelps lightly, then clings to Duke even harder, his blindfold still secure around his head. It’s become a bit fainter as Duke’s attention slipped off of it, but he focuses on it again to darken it and keep Danny from seeing where they’re going.
It occurs to him halfway to the Hatch how much trust Danny is putting in him. To put a blindfold on him. To lead him to a place he’s never been to before. To let Duke swing him across the streets of Gotham without using his own ability to fly. 
Oracle’s apprehension about Danny (and his friends) is a heavy weight on his mind, but he can’t help but think it’s unnecessary. She’d understand if she ever met Danny in person. He wears his heart on his sleeve and offers it so freely; how could Duke not trust him? 
The weeks they’ve been texting each other only make him sure that Danny’s a good person, someone he wants in his life for as long as he can stay, someone he wants to be honest with. They just click, somehow, like they’re each holding a puzzle piece that’s been missing in each other’s lives. 
I think I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet you, he wants to say. But the street entrance to the Hatch is just a block away and Danny still doesn’t know his name, so Duke bites his tongue and forces all those feelings back into more platonic territory. 
Just as the reach the building with the hidden panel to allow him entrance to the Hatch, Duke pulls at the light around them to hide them from sight as they drop down from the sky. 
“Almost in,” he says, holding Danny up with one arm as he tucks his grapple away and push the fake brick cover out of the way to punch in his twelve digit access code. 
A hidden door in the wall of the building, the back bricked off from the operating portion courtesy of Wayne Industries funding the restoration project for this area of the city after a major alien attack, opens up smoothly and without a sound. The ground slopes downward at a steep angle; he uses this door for when he’s riding his motorcycle out of the cave networks underneath the city that keep the Hatch connected to the Batcave, but it’s not too far from where the Hatch itself is. 
He carries Danny in, then makes sure the door closes completely behind him before setting Danny down on his feet. “We’ve still got a bit of a walk to the Hatch, but you can take your blindfold off now.”
“I’ll wait until we get there,” Danny says. “I’m going to use this as an excuse to cling to you for as long as I can.”
“Fair enough!” Duke laughs, “Cling away, I’ll make sure you don’t trip.”
And cling away Danny does, wrapping his arms around Duke’s left arm, holding onto it as they make their way down the tunnel. Duke keeps an eye out for anything that might trip him and carefully steers him past them. 
“Are we underground?”
“Yeah, there’s this huge cave system under the city that we use to get around,” Duke answers. “Though we’ve paved in small roads and made stable tunnels to go through, so it’s all safe.”
“Huh, that’s cool. It would be nice if I had a way to get around Amity like this.”
“Danny, you can fly.”
“That’s not relevant!”
“How is it not relevant?” Duke laughs incredulously, jostling Danny slightly. Danny turns towards him and they trip over each other slightly, clutching to each other to keep their balance.
“It just isn’t!”
They bicker lightheartedly down the tunnel until it opens up into the garage of the Hatch. Duke helps Danny up the stairs to the main area, where he keeps his suit, weapons, and the large computer Bruce installed when the Hatch was first made. Once he’s sure Danny’s comfortable, he leaves to change into his civilian clothes with only a domino mask slapped over his eyes to protect his identity.
And if Duke takes an extra minute to fix up his hair, the long locs in a disarray from being tied back and stuffed into his helmet, then that’s no one’s business but his own. 
Maybe he does need to get a hair cut. He’s starting to get why Steph wants to shave her head and rock a pixie cut like Selena. But, on the other hand, he does like how he looks with longer hair, especially when it’s tied up…
Long hair for now. It makes him look good and he’s here to impress Danny. 
When he heads back to where Danny is, he sees Danny sitting down patiently, his blindfold still on, though it’s become much more transparent than it was before. He can see how Danny’s eyes are closed beneath it, waiting for Duke to return, tapping out a slow rhythm on his knee with his fingers. 
“You can take that off now,” he says as he walks up to Danny. 
“You sure?”
“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have brought you in here.”
Danny reaches up and gently pulls the blindfold off, slowly blinking his eyes open. He watches as the blindfold dissolves in his hand, becoming light again, then shyly turns to look at Duke. 
“Oh,” he says softly, taking in Duke, who tries very hard not to fidget and reveal just how nervous he is to be out of his Signal armor before Danny. “You are so unfair?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You can’t be kind, a superhero, and attractive! Tell me something you’re bad at so I know you have some flaws.”
Duke grins, flattered. “You think I’m attractive?”
“Stop fishing for compliments!” Danny pushes him lightly, barely enough force to make him tilt to the side. “Give me something you’re bad at, come on.”
“Well, if you really need to know…” Duke takes a moment to think of something that won’t completely embarrass him. “I’m terrible at learning other languages. Vocab doesn’t stick in my head, grammar rules mean nothing to me, and my accent is atrocious.”
“That doesn’t count, that’s normal,” Danny argues.
“It the only thing I can think of right now! I’m just really bad at non-English languages!”
Danny rolls his eyes, shaking his head fondly. “I can’t believe you. You have powers, you’re cute, and you’re good at flirting. Stop winning at life so much, the rest of us stand no chance against you.”
“I promise I’m a disaster when I’m not trying to impress people.”
“Lies. You’re being perfect right now and there’s no one to impress.”
“I’m trying to impress you.”
Danny blinks. “Oh.” He bites his lip in an attempt to force down a smile. “Shut up. I don’t count. You don’t need to try to impress me, you’ve already done that.”
“Yeah? Well, maybe I’ll try to be more of a mess around you from now on.”
“Please do, I can’t be the only one making a fool of myself. Where’s the friendship? The solidarity? Suffer with me!”
Duke shoves him back playfully, and just like that, they fall back into a rhythm of easy conversation and light touches, skirting the lines of friendly with something more. Time slips away from him and Duke spends every second with Danny wishing he could have this always, that they didn’t have a time limit over their heads, that the universe itself wasn’t keeping them apart. He shows off the Hatch and some Bat gadgets, which Danny finds fascinating, then they spend an hour comparing their most commonly used powers. 
Danny has to leave all too soon, opening up a small portal of swirling green with the help of a small pocketwatch-like device, and Duke can only hope that they can do this again soon, but without the domino on his face.
One day, he swears. One day they’ll have that.
-
YA menace: hey quickly rate this guys fit
YA menace: [attached photo is a goon with a black and white striped shirt with a purple question mark safety pinned onto it. They’re also wearing neon purple sweatpants and are glaring at the camera.]
YA protag (retired): ngl thats not the worst ive seen. 6/10
YA menace: 6???
YA menace: 6?????????????
YA menace: danny i say this with all the love in my heart, go get ur eyes checked
YA protag (retired): before u say anything else. look at what i regularly have to deal with
YA protag (retired): [attached photo is a floating man with blue-ish skin an d a very dramatic hairstyle. He’s wearing a long black cloak, a white suit, and a Green Bay Packer’s football jersey on top of all that.]
YA menace: damn. no wonder ur judgement of bad fits is Like That. this guys to blame
YA protag (retired): wanna know the worst part?
YA menace: this can get worse??
YA protag (retired): thats my godfather. 
YA protag (retired): this is a man my parents thought were fit to be responsible for me and my sister if anything happens to us
YA protag (retired): THIS GUY
YA menace: u have my sincerest condolences
YA menace: oh shit more riddler guys are here i gtg they got guns
YA protag (retired): be safe!! please dont get shot!!!!
YA menace: i’ll do my best 🫡
-
YA protag (retired): came home today and all the weapons that were attached to my house disappeared
YA protag (retired): i feel like im in the twilight zone
YA protag (retired): if i start talking backwards or acting like a robot pls know it is not me but something wearing my face
YA menace: the weapons attached to ur house???? 
YA menace: im starting there but i want u to know that everything u said was concerning
YA protag (retired): have i not mentioned it before? my parents are kinda mad scientists and make a lot of weird but working things. mostly weapons to fight ghosts.
YA menace: cant believe ure only just dropping lore abt urself when we’ve been talking for so long
YA protag (retired): in my defense!!!! everyone here knows abt them so im used to not having to say anything!!!
YA protag (retired): people usually just Get It!!!
YA menace: moving on to my second point: having the weapons removed from ur house is whats concerning??? not the weapons being attached to ur house???
YA protag (retired): listen. i have spent p much my entire life with a house that doubles as an armed fortress. when i was a kid i was convinced it would come to life and protect me from monsters. this was also during my urban legends monster phrase and i scared myself reading abt them and needed the comfort
YA protag (retired): my POINT is that its normal for my house to have weapons. so seeing them gone is worrying!!!!!
YA menace: .
YA menace: ok fair enough.  last point: is being replaced by a robot version of urself a concern in ur universe? bc it is here
YA protag (retired): no its not a legit concern here
YA protag (retired): probably. dont quote me on that. i had a cloning situation a few years ago
YA menace: a hwat
YA protag (retired): dont worry about it!!!
YA protag (retired): oh my parents are home. i need to talk to them. Bye!!
YA menace: gl!! let me know if u need rescuing from evil clone robots
-
RED: before I say anything else, Signal this is the price u pay for not letting me play with interdimensional tech after you let O have a turn at it.
YA protag (retired): um.
YA protag (retired): wrong chat???
RED: no this is the right chat. Hi Danny :) 
YA protag (retired): hi???? who are u????
YA menace: oh my god
YA menace: this is NOT NECESSARY RED
RED: as I said. U did this to urself.
YA menace: 🙄🙄🙄
YA protag (retired): wait. did u… hack into this chat?? did u hack the phone????
RED: yeah lol.
RED: was a bit of a challenge but it was fun
RED: had to pull out the spare alien tech to make something that would connect
YA protag (retired): ok 1. tucker will want to marry u for ur brain
YA protag (retired): 2. ALIEN TECH?????
YA menace: i feel like we already talked abt aliens being real in my dimension
YA protag (retired): THATS DIFFERENT FROM HAVNG ALIEN TECH
YA protag (retired): hey red what do u accept as bribes
YA menace: u ask him while im right here????
YA protag (retired): u dont have the alien tech. red does. case closed.
RED: oh wow. Signal….. Wow.
YA menace: what? shut up. cant leave any of yall unsupervised i swear
RED: also, Danny I accept tech from different dimensions and also fun tasting sodas and energy drinks
YA protag (retired): done. i will have the goods ready next time i go to gotham, pls hook me up w alien teach
RED: do u just like new tech?
YA menace: hes a space nerd so he loves aliens
RED: do u just wanna meet an alien then?
YA protag (retired): CAN I??!!
RED: yeah I can pull something together for u
YA menace: omfg. Red can u go stop stealing danny from me
RED: up ur game Signal. We’re ALL going to try to steal Danny away
YA menace: how tf do i kick u out of the chat
RED: u cant 😇 im too good to be kicked
YA menace: put that halo away we all know what u really are
YA menace: 🤡
YA protag (retired): omg….. rip red ur cool reputation will be missed
RED: hey now. What happened to the bribes :( 
YA protag (retired): ur still gonna get them but i am playing favorites
YA protag (retired): and signal is obviously my fave
YA menace: knew i could count on u to have my back danny 💛
YA menace: drop ur location red i just wanna talk
RED: lol no
RED: good luck catching me :) 
YA menace: coward!!!!
YA protag (retired): there he goes…..
-
YA protag (retired): hey u know what i just realized?
YA menace: what?
YA protag (real) changed YA menace’s name to Light
YA protag (real) changed their name to Night
Night: rhyming buddies 😄
Light: i get the light bc of my powers but wheres the night coming from?
Night: bc i love space! the night sky!!
Light: ok thats pretty cute ngl
Light: give me some warning bc u do stuff like that its bad for my heart
Night: stop sweet talking me im busy feeling clever
Light: lmaooooo
Light: fair enough i’ll get back to it in 3-5 business days
Night: good 👍
Night: also is now a good time to ask abt red…. who was that….
Light: that was a nerd. dont worry abt him ok im cooler
Light: serious answer: hes red robin and hes another vigilante in gotham. we’re chill
Night: did u find his location for a throw down tho
Light: i can do u one better: i know where he lives
Night: oh???
Light: yeah his dad is my mentor of sorts so its not THAT impressive that i know
Light: i did steal all his zesti tho lol
Night: not sure what that is but im proud of u
Light: its just a drink that hes obsessed w. i love being a minor annoyance 😇
Night: shaking ur hand. its really the best thing to be
Light: hell yeah!!!
-
Light: hey got a kinda serious question for u
Night: whats up?
Light: have u thought abt ur future?
Light: like what u want to do in college, where u want to go after high school, what career u want
Night: i mean. some. 
Night: not as much as my parents want me to. 
Night: my sister goes to harvard and is super smart. im not that impressive so i keep disappointing them
Night: and with things recently… idk its hard. it kinda feels like they dont believe i have a future.
Night: not that they really see me in the present anyways
Night: sorry that was heavy. short answer is no! not really!
Light: that sounds rough. wanna talk abt it?
Night: not really but not talking hasnt done me much good
Night: my sister would want me to talk anyways. to someone trustworthy at least
Night: so if u dont mind listening…
Light: go for it!! im here for u danny
Light: emotionally at least. not physically but thats not by choice
Night: it can wait tho honestly. whyd u ask abt the future? something on ur mind?
Light: just feeling really lost rn is all.
Light: its like everyone around me has an idea of what to do with their lives while im still surprised that i made it as far as i have
Light: this is really the first time ive seriously thought abt my future and i have no idea what to do
Light: so i wanted to talk to u bc u help make things feel less terrifying
Night: signal…. ur going to make me cry
Night: u make me feel brave too
Night: ♥️
Night: i get what u mean 100% btw. u go so long sure that u dont have a future that u dont know what to do now that its here
Light: exactly.
Light: what am i supposed to do with my life? i dont want to be a hero full time, ive seen how that breaks people
Night: do u want to go to college? or do u just feel like u have to bc everyone else is?
Light: i do want to. 
Light: my parents both went and theyve always wanted me to get a degree and be successful
Light: they may not be around anymore, not really, but i do still want to make them proud
Light: they cant see me graduate, but maybe when i tell them the next time i visit, itll reach the part of them thats still alive in their minds
Light: what about u? do u want to go to college?
Night: yeah. it was always my dream to become an astronaut. work at nasa and everything
Night: no chance its ever gonna happen now tho lol
Night: dying and the health problems that comes w that will do that to ya ✌️
Light: oh man that sucks
Night: yeah
Night: i might still study aerospace engineering tho. even if i cant be an astronaut, maybe i can help others get there
Light: thats a good alternative!! im glad u still have some idea of what u can do that can help u work at nasa and achieve part of ur dream
Night: we’ll see tho
Night: im not really feeling college atm. or life in general
Night: idk i feel…. stuck. like nothing will change even if i get out of illinois. it’ll just be the same stuff at a different place
Night: and i know itll take one visit from my parents to start ruining things for me
Night: i just… dont really wanna deal w that. ive kinda given up on life tbh i might as well just focus on the ghostly side of things. stay in the ghost zone more permanently
Light: i dont wanna judge or anything but that doesnt sound healthy?? 
Light: pls dont disappear into the ghost zone. i’d miss u.
Night: sweet talker
Night: i wont. dont worry. its just a feeling i get sometimes, that it’d be better if i wasnt in this world. if i could just go somewhere else
Light: hey. what if
Light: sorry if this idea is stupid or something
Light: but what if u lived here? in my dimension? u could establish a life and go to college here. 
Light: a total fresh start
Night: thats. not a bad idea actually
Night: i would love that. wouldn’t it be hard to do tho? i dont exist there.
Light: we can make it work. its not like us gotham vigilantes are new to creating new identities/lives out of nothing
Light: i could ask for a few favors, do a few dubiously legal things. you could live here
Night: im planning to take a gap year to figure out if i wanna stay in the human world at all. i could spend that year in gotham before making my choice
Night: if u dont mind me asking this huge favor of u
Light: i dont mind at all!!
Light: danny i would love for u to be here are u kidding me. i’d do anything so we could be closer together
Night: thanks signal ♥️
Night: i made this all abt me im so sorry
Night: wanna talk more abt how ur feeling or ur plans for the future?
Light: maybe some other time. i wanna get to work on making sure u can live here for the year (and more! hopefully!)
Light: tell u what. 
Light: we can talk more abt this the next time we see each other in person ok?
Night: deal
Night: im really glad i met u
Light: me too
Light: im here for u for as long as u want me around, honey
Light: u dont need to worry about a thing with me
Night: ure too sweet.
Night: im going to go now before u make me melt into a puddle of feelings
Night: ♥️
Light: ♥️
-
“Hey Babs, I have a favor to ask…”
317 notes · View notes
explosionkatsu · 2 years
Text
“Age doesn’t matter” 5
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Dad!Bakugou x F!Babysitter!Teacher!Reader
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
Hearing what Kazui said made her completely stop. Mama? Why would he think that? Was it because she takes care of him like her own child?
“K-Kazuki. I don't think that's something possible.” Ms. Y/n said washing her hands before she approach the now pouting Kazui.
“Why not?” Kazui said, now tearing up. “My classmates have a mama. Why I don't have one? Why can't I have one?” he was now sobbing.
Seeing his tears pour breaks her heart. Ms. Y/n dreamt of having her own child, but because of how life can be challenging, how she can't afford to buy her own house or a decent permanent job, she set her dream aside and focus on trying to make it at least to the cruel world.
But nothing is crueler to a child not having a mother wanting to have one.
“Shh.” Ms. Y/n carried and embrace Kazui who was sobbing in her arms. “I’m sorry, Kazui.”
Then it suddenly went quiet. Ms. Y/n was still holding Kazui in her arms.
“Kazui?” Ms. Y/n called out, but get no response. When she slowly made her way to a mirror, she saw him fast asleep. She looked at him for a moment, sad that she couldn’t do anything for Kazui. It took a while for her to bring him up to her bedroom and tucked him in, caressing his cheek that was stained from his tears.
Ms. Y/n then left her bedroom. She decided to keep the door open in case she heard him wake up. She strides down the stair and went back to the kitchen where she left some of the burger steaks she molded. As soon as she washed her hands again to proceed, she saw her phone lit up causing her to look at it. When she saw the unknown number, she slightly frowns. But when she clicked on the message, she blinked in surprise.
It was Mr. Bakugou.
..
Once Katsuki settled in his car, he placed a bag beside him. A thank-you gift for Kazui’s teacher.
Giving anyone a gift isn't his thing, but Ms. Y/n's kind gesture made him want to. This is the least he could do to show her he appreciates what she does.
And so, Katsuki turned on the engine when he received the address he needed and drove his way to the said address. seeing he was nearing the address, he noticed it was close to the school. After just a few minutes of walking, for sure they'd reach it.
He remembered Ms. Y/n telling him there was a near convenience store and taking a right turn. As soon as he turned right, he immediately saw her apartment and slowed down. Once closed, he pulled up but didn't leave his car.
Katsuki is nervous. He didn't know how to approach her. His palms are sweating, and so was his forehead, and believe it or not? This was pissing him off. So with all the courage he has. Wait? Why does he need courage for this? He's just going to pick Kazui and hand his gift to her.
That’s fucking it.
Katsuki groan, starting to get frustrated. Without thinking, he grab the bag beside him and exited his car, slamming the door shut behind him.
Ms. Y/n heard this, making her jump and slightly spilling the hamburger steak sauce. “What was that..” She mumbled to herself and wiped her sauce-filled hand.
She made her way to her apartment door even though she knows it was a bad idea. But curiosity got in her and grab the doorknob, twisted it, and pulled the door open. She comes face-to-face with Mr. Bakugou who has his hand raised, about to knock.
“U-uh. Good evening! Mr. Bakugou!” She slightly stuttered. “Please come in!”
Seeing him in an awkward position made katsuki's face turn slightly pink, all the way to his ears. “Ahem. Thanks.” He said in a quiet voice.
Ms. Y/n closed the door behind her as soon as Katsuki get in. “I'm sorry about the mess. I have a lot of papers to work on.” She said sweating dropped when she saw him eye the papers stacked on her coffee table. “Please have a seat.” She added as she collect all the papers and headed to her bedroom.
When she came back, she made her way to the kitchen switched the fire off on her stove, and saw Katsuki sitting on the sofa. “Make yourself at home.” She smiled. “You might be looking for Kazui, he’s currently sleeping in my bedroom.”
Ms. Y/n opened one of the kitchen cabinets and grab two glasses. She then grabs a drink and pours the content into the glass.
Katsuki was quiet even though he can hear her talking . He was checking her apartment which was neat, and organized, with no dust in sight. Except for the stack he saw earlier, which was now gone.
Her apartment was indeed small, like what Kazui said. But she made it look homey. Unlike his quiet home. Even though he has all those branded furniture and expensive stuff. Never in a while, had he felt his house homey. But he, sitting in someone’s home? Knowing that Y/n is living alone, single-
Wait, was she single?
Katsuki’s thoughts about her apartment suddenly vanish. I mean, was she by herself?
Getting inquisitive, he looks for a sign of another person living with her. A male person. But all he saw was what a single woman has.
How old was she again? 23? Right. She’s too young and still unraveling her future.
Well, age doesn’t matter to him.
What? The fuck was he thinking? Why would he think that?
Katsuki internally smacks himself in the face. He’s not looking for any relationship right now. After what happened. He’s too scared to try again.
“Here. Seems like you're deep in thought.”
Katsuki blinked being cut off and saw Ms. Y/n place a cup of tea in front of him.
“Thank you.” He said.
Why was he being quiet anyway?
“You’re welcome.” Ms. Y/n smiled at him. “I actually poured you an orange juice and was about to give it to you but it seems like you're stressed. So I made you some tea. I hope you don't mind camomile?” She giggled and went back to the kitchen.
“It’s fine,” Katsuki said. “Where’s Kazui?”
Ms. Y/n blinked. Didn't she say he’s asleep? Maybe Mr. Bakugou was too deep in thought that he wasn't listening to everything you said.
“He’s sleeping in my bedroom.” You chuckled making Katsuki look at you raising an eyebrow which made you panic and immediately apologize.
“Why're you apologizing?” Katsuki asked and gently gran the tea in front of him. The aroma made him relax.
“I was being rude.” Ms. Y/n smiled nervously.
She’s always smiling.
"You're not," Katsuki said and took a sip.
Ms. Y/n only smiled before going back to her kitchen and preparing the plates needed. "Have you had your dinner, Mr. Bakugou?" You asked.
As if on cue, Katsuki's stomach started making a sound making him blush and her, giggle.
"I'll take that as a no." You said. "I made Hamburger steak. Kazui requested it."
"Hah? I swear to god that spoiled ass brat." Katsuki said, this time, out loud.
"Would you want a plate, Mr-
"Just call me Bakugou. I hate this formality and such. It's fucking pissing me off." Katsuki said as he placed the teacup back on the coffee table.
This doesn't surprise you anymore. Why? Because there are times Y/n watches television in her free time and saw how Dynamight swears a lot. Even civilians got used to this.
"Alright, Bakugou." Ms. Y/n chuckled and just prepare another plate for him. "You can go wake Kazui so we can all eat. The more the merrier right?"
"Don't order me around." Katsuki tsked but follow otherwise.
He heard a low sorry when he walked past the kitchen and straight to her bedroom where he saw the door wide open. He was about to go straight inside but he stopped midway. He's trespassing on her privacy. But she was the one who gave him permission, plus, he's only waking Kazui up, so it doesn't matter. So he continued and went straight into her bedroom and saw a double-sized bed where he saw Kazui sleeping peacefully.
"Oi." Katsuki called but got no reponse. "Brat. Wake up. We're going to eat dinner."
Seeing his son won't wake up anytime soon, he picks him up and carries him in his arms. "Kazui, wake up. Ms. Y/n made us dinner. You spoiled brat."
Kazui lightly stirred in his father's arms before completely waking up, and rubbing his eyes. "Papa," he mumbled.
Katsuki only watched his son.
"Where's mama.." Kazui yawned and snuggled back into his arms.
Katsuki was frozen in his place. Shocked, confused, angry? He doesn't know what to feel when he once again heard his son looking for his mother.
"Why are you looking for her?" Katsuki asked, hoping he would get a response despite knowing how drowsy his son is.
"Mama Y/n.."
1K notes · View notes
sparklingcid3r · 23 days
Note
the gang pre- the book. like when darry and soda were in high school and pony was in elementary school. just their life before their parents died and what plans they had before that happened
Ooh I’ve never even given it much thought, but this was actually so fun to think abt
For reference, Darry is a high school senior (18), Soda is a high school freshman (14), and Pony is in middle school (12)
- Darry is pretty much never home except for when he’s getting ready to go out. You can tell who he’s hanging with based on what he’s wearing, and Soda will clown on him so hard if he’s brushing his hair back and getting all dripped out
- The madras shirt Paul got him is Darry’s favorite, that shit goes hard at the function and they both know it
- Pony has always thought Soda was the hottest manliest babe magnet but at that point he thought Darry was just the coolest person in the world. He would brag about his brother being a senior in high school, having a scholarship to go play football in college, all the parties he goes to, etc
- Pony and Soda were always closer though. Darry ran with a different crowd, not only socially, but also the age difference. Darry would listen when Soda talked about his own friends, but he just didn’t really care about the freshman class
- Some nights when nothing was going on, Darry would drag Soda and Pony out of bed and throw them in their dad’s truck, tell them that if they snitched he’d beat their asses, and took them to empty lots to take turns spinning donuts with the windows down
- In school, Darry absolutely shoulder checked Soda into lockers before messing up his hair and telling him if anyone gave him shit, to come to him
- Soda never had any problems, he was Sodapop, but his brothers were always the one thing Darry didn’t play about, Soc status be damned
- Soda and Darry were two different kinds of popular in school. Soda was the class clown, never taking shit serious, but he was greaser popular. He didn’t eat lunch in the caf like Darry did
- A fic from one of my fav authors is abt Soda and Darry at a party and Soda gets into a fight, and Darry finishes it for him, and when they get home their Dad chews Darry out but Darry doesn’t throw Soda under the bus and yeah I agree 100%
- Soda was the first person to actually meet Johnny, because the crumpled up paper asking a girl for her digits landed on Johnny’s desk instead and he read it before Soda could get up and apologize. Johnny just turned around and stared at him
- Whenever the gang got together with some drinks and burgers or something, Soda’s helping Pony find out what kind of alcohol he likes and giving his recs and also telling him not to say shit to their parents
- Pony and Soda aren’t allowed to smoke around Darry, he doesn’t fw second-hand smoking because of football. If someone grabs a lighter and a cig he’s pulling up talking abt “If you light that I’m putting it out on your face”
- There was one night where Soda was out with Steve (already against their parents’ word) so Darry had to babysit Pony. Darry was pissed and Pony just felt bad. They didn’t even have a car to drive around in, so Darry taught Pony how to throw a punch
- “Omfg stop tucking ur thumb in unless u wanna break it” “like this?” “what the fuck are u doing w ur pinkie”
- A few days later Pony comes back from school with a fat lip and two-days detention, but he tells Darry a girl called him cool after, so. Score
That’s all I got right now, but this was def sm fun! I don’t know if they ever really talked about future plans, in my head they were all just kind of living in the moment. Tysm for the ask!! Curtis brothers u will always be famous🫶
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bethanythebogwitch · 4 months
Text
Wet Beast Wednesday: American lobster
This series takes us all over the world, but today we're going back to the good-ol' burger-drinking, beer-eating, eagle-worshiping U-S-of-A! The American lobster may be the world's most famous crustacean as they have become a major source of overpriced seafood. There's a lot to learn about this critter, so let's go check out the crustacean sensation that's sweeping the nation.
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(Image: an American lobster seen from the side. It is a crustacean with 8 legs, a pair of large pincers, and a pointed head that has two long antennae and small eyes. The abdomen in elongated and segmented and ends with a fan-shaped tail. It is a greenish-brown color. End ID)
Homarus americanus is the largest lobster and largest crustacean, reaching a maximum recorded length of 64 cm (25 in) and weight of 20.1 kg (44.4 lbs). The average size is between 20 and 61 cm (8-24 in) and 680 to 910 grams (1.5-2 lbs). Lobsters are members of the family Nephropidae and despite the common names, they are not closely related to squat lobsters, slipper lobsters, or spiny lobsters. They are, however, closely related to crayfish. Lobsters are decapods, crustaceans with 10 limbs. Of the 5 pairs of limbs, the rear 8 are used for walking and the front two have become enlarged into a pair of powerful pincers used for defense and offense. The claws are asymmetrical and each serves different purposes. One claw is large and stout, with rounded, molar-like growths on the cutting edge. This claw is called the crusher claw and it is used to crush through hard-shelled food. The other claw is more slender and has a sharper cutting edge. This is the scissor claw and it is used to cut soft food into small enough pieces to eat. The crusher and scissor claws can be on either side of an individual lobster and very rarely a lobster will grow two crushers or two scissors instead of one of each. While the pincers can close with incredible force, they can't open with much force. This allows them to be held shut with rubber bands. The front two pairs of walking legs also have pincers, but they are much smaller. Lobsters can regrow missing legs. It can take up to 5 years for a missing pincer to regrow to the size of the original.
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(Image: a lobster seen from the front, with the pincers in prominent view. One claw is bulkier than the other. The bulky claw has rough nodules on the cutting edge. The skinnier claw has serrated spines on the cutting edge. end ID)
Lobster anatomy is divided between two major segments: the cephalothorax and the abdomen. The cephalothorax contains the mouthparts, brain, legs, and many sensory organs. While they have eyes, they are weak due to lobsters spending most of their time on murky seafloors. Taste, smell,and touch are their primary senses. Antennae are used to examine the world and both the antennae and legs have sensory hairs called antennules on them that can detect the presence of chemicals in the water. Lobsters can both detect the smell of food and determine which direction it is coming from. The antennules also detect the motion of the water. Lobsters also urinate from a pair of bladders on the sides of the head. They can adjust the scent of the urine to communicate with each other. That's right, lobsters communicate by peeing on each other from their faces. The mouthparts consist of leg-like structures called maxillipeds that grab food and mandibles that help rip food up. Lobsters can't chew their food, but they have a structure in the esophagus called a gastric mill that grinds food down as it is swallowed. The abdomen is long and consists of multiple segments, allowing for flexibility. On the underside of the abdomen are feathery appendages called pleopods or swimmerettes. The first pair of swimmerettes is modified into sex organs called gonopods which can be used to differentiate males from females. The remaining pairs are used to circulate water around the lobster, helping keep fresh water over the internal gills. At the tip of the abdomen is a large, fan-shaped tail. By quickly curling the abdomen under their bodies, lobsters can generate thrust and send themselves shooting backwards. This is done to escape perceived threats.
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(Image: a lobster standing on sand with its abdomen curled under its body. End ID)
Like other crustaceans, lobsters periodically outgrow their exoskeletons and must molt. After molting, the lobster will have a new, soft exoskeleton that takes time to harden. This period of softness leaves lobsters much more vulnerable to predators, so they will usually hide until their new shell hardens. They also eat the old shell to regain the nutrients and minerals it holds. The period after molting is also when females become fertile. A molted female will release pheromones that attract males. The male performs a courtship dance and if the female approves, he will use his gonopods to transfer a packet of sperm into her shell. The female can store this packet for over a year before using it. She lays thousands of eggs at once eggs and fertilizes them with the sperm as they come out. The eggs stick to her swimmerettes and she will work to keep them clean and keep air circulated over them. The clusters of eggs allegedly look similar to raspberries and a female with eggs is said to be "in berry". I personally don't see it. The eggs develop for 10 to 11 months before hatching, wherupon the female shakes her tail to dislodge the larvae. The larvae start out as a tiny, planktonic form called a metanapulus that drifts near the surface of the water and eats plankton. After their 4th molt, the larvae takes on a sub-adult form more similar to an adult, though they are still small enough to swim with their swimmerettes. Approximately 1 in 1,000 larvae will live long enough to reach this stage. After another molt, the sub-adult takes on its final form and sinks to the bottom, where they will gradually grow into an adult. Lobsters molt up to 10 times in their first year, then may one molt once every few years. By the time a lobster is large enough for anglers to legally keep, they will have undergone around 25-27 molts. There isn't really a maximum age for lobsters. They don't go through the same aging process as most animals. Lobsters have the ability to repair the damage to DNA that causes aging. While they will not age to death, you are unlikely to find thousand year old lobsters roaming about. Each molt takes more energy than the previous one and a lobster that doesn't die of predation, disease, or injury will eventually become unable to complete a molt and will die as a result. Most estimates place the maximum age for lobsters at about 100 years, but there are unconfirmed reports of lobsters reaching 140 years.
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(Image: somebody holding a lobster so the underside of the abdomen is visible. This lobster is a female with masses of small, black eggs on her abdomen. End ID)
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(Image: A lobster larva shown in the first four molts. The first three stages look more like transparent shrimp than lobsters. The final stage looks that a miniature lobster and is orange. End ID)
You would be hard-pressed to find a fictional depiction of a lobster that isn't bright red, but wild lobsters aren't that color. Most range from greenish-blue to greenish-brown, good colors for hiding amongst rocks and seaweed. That being said, American lobsters are famous for their wide range of color variants. Lots of people have herd of blue lobsters, but there are actually quite a few color options caused by genetic traits that overproduce certain pigments. Because of the rareness of these traits and the colorful lobsters being more at rick of predation, they are quite rare. Still, many color variants have been seen including blue ( 1 in 10 million lobsters), red (though not as bright as cooked lobsters. 1 in 30 million), bright yellow (1 in 30 million), calico (yellow and blue spots, 1 in 25 million), split down the middle (1 in 50 million), and white (albino or leucistic, 1 in 100 million). Many lobster anglers seem to agree that if they catch colored lobsters they should either be released or donated to aquariums or scientific organizations as opposed to being eaten. Reports of color variants have increased in the last 20ish years. This may be due to overfishing of their predators, but it may also be that social media allows sightings to be reported more easily.
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(Images: 6 pictures of lobster color varaints. Let to right, top to bottom: blue, red, yellow, calico, split, white. End ID)
American lobsters are found in cold, coastal waters of the Atlantic Ocean from the USA to northern Canada. They are famously highly abundant around the state of Maine, which has the world's largest lobster fishery. They prefer rocky bottoms with plenty of places to hide. Despite those big claws, lobsters are rather timid. They spend a lot of their time hiding and are quick to use their tails to flee. If pressed, they will use their powerful claws to fight. While occasionally active in the day, lobsters are mostly nocturnal, coming out at night to find food. Speaking from personal experience, I did a night SCUBA dive in Maine and there were so many lobsters I could barely see the seafloor. American lobsters are territorial and will fight over food, shelter, and mates. When they live in close quarters, lobster will establish a dominance hierarchy based largely on size. They use chemical signatures to identify themselves and communicate. The diet of an American lobster mostly consists of small invertebrates such as worms, slugs, clams, and crabs, but they also eat carrion and algae and seagrass. Lobsters in captivity have been known to engage in cannibalism, but this has never been seen in the wild.
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(Image: a lobster molting. The carapace on the back of the cephalothorax has come off and the soft-bodied lobster is emerging through the gap created. End ID)
The American lobster is a popular food source and so is fished heavily in the northern USA and Canada, with the state of Maine and Atlantic province having the largest industries. The vast majority of lobster fishing is done with special lobster traps, sometimes called pots. These are cages baited with dead fish that have funnel-shaped entrances. The idea is that the shape of the entrance lets lobsters in, but makes it hard for them to get out. Humorously, lobster traps have been found to be incredibly inefficient, all but the largest lobsters can enter and leave freely. The lobsters that get caught tend to be the ones unlucky enough to be in the trap when it's pulled up. Bait has been found to comprise a large portion of the diet of lobsters in Maine and individual lobsters have been known to claim traps as their territory and fight off others trying to enter them. Modern traps are also required to have holes allowing lobsters below the size limit to leave easily. The inefficiency of lobster traps has allowed the population to remain stable despite the incredibly heavy fishing. in addition, there are many regulations to protect the species, including requirements to release small lobsters and egg-bearing females. There is no lobster aquaculture doe to how long it takes them to reach a usable size. Commercial lobster fishing started with poor laborers who could get them cheap due to how abundant the lobsters were in the area. As with so many other things, the rich came, took an idea created by the poor, and drove up prices so much the original people could no longer afford their own invention. Lobsters are traditionally cooked by boiling, usually with the lobster still alive at the time. The ethics of live cooking lobsters is debated. Some insist their brains do not have the regions responsible for feeling pain while others point out they still respond negatively to stimuli and therefore can still feel some kind of distress even if it isn't the same as human pain. Some jurisdictions have made live boiling illegal and require the lobster to be dead first. Freezing the lobster or a stab through the cephalothorax are offered as more humane than boiling. The American lobster is classified as least concern by the IUCN, meaning they are not at risk of extinction.
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(Image: a modern lobster trap. It is a rectangular wire cage painted yellow. There are two chambers inside. The first chamber has two openings to the outside and is where bait is placed. The second chamber has another funnel-shaped opening to the first chamber and is intended to trap the lobsters within. An opening on the side of the second chamber allows small lobsters to escape. A brick is used to weigh the cage down. End ID)
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atom-writings · 3 months
Note
helloooo can i request headcanons of allies x gn!vampire!reader? some questions for ideas: would they let their s/o drink their blood, who would love it, who would be scared, how would they react to their s/o telling them theyre a vamp. its up to you as to what kind of vampire u wanna write :3 !! i hope this isnt confusing, but ty if u write this !!
hetalia allies with a vampire s/o
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1.0k words ~ gender neutral headcanons
tw: mentions of blood and death (obviously)
a/n: getting sick in the summer is so stupid. girl just get better
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America
”Woah, you're a vampire? Like from Blade?“ would be his first words once you tell him. It's almost like he doesn't even realize what being a vampire really entails. Which, to be fair, a vampire isn't any weirder than an alien (of which he's met many.)
Most of the time, he just thinks your vampirism is a cool quirk. More like a party trick if anything.
When it comes to feeding, he'd totally let you drink his blood. Not too often, but he doesn't mind. When you first try, he's more excited than anything. Who else's partner can do that?!
(Plus, he'd make it a personal mission to make a burger with enough blood that you can eat it. Seeing you at barbecues makes him too sad not to.)
He probably wouldn’t even remember that vampires are immortal until you’ve been dating for 100 years. Only then would he be like… wait a minute.
Alfred is accepting of a lot of things and is always willing to accommodate your vampiric habits, but don't expect him to suddenly become nocturnal and goth. He's out by 9 pm every night, that's not changing for anyone, supernatural or otherwise.
England
Arthur may seem like he's too stuck in ways to be cool with a vampiric partner, but he's also the guy who is friends with fairies. He probably knew you were a vampire even before you told him.
He doesn't mind at all. Being antisocial and traditional is really what he wants in a partner. Plus, your immortality comforts him greatly. He's possessive and paranoid so it's a real weight off his mind that you can't die by most means.
But, he doesn't appreciate the more gore-y aspects of vampirism much. No, you can't drink his blood unless you're literally on the verge of death. No, you can't bring your blood bags into the house. No, he's not gonna help you hunt. That's your own problem, be home by 6 am.
So, not scared, just uncomfortable.
Hopefully, you're the magic type of vampire, because he really needs some help with his spells, and being able to turn into a bat seems like a step in the right direction.
France
When it comes to your vampirism, Francis is very conflicted. When you tell him, he probably seems like he doesn't care, but that's not entirely true. On the one hand, he's arguably dated much worse, much stranger people, but on the other hand... ew, blood!
He is a little scared of you, especially if you ask to feed on him. He'd agree but burst into tears the moment your fangs get anywhere close to his neck. His love for you is never in doubt, but he'd be lying if he didn't keep a stake stored in his glove compartment. Just in case your friends start calling...
But the more romantic aspects of vampirism, that of immortality and eternal transience, he loves those parts of you. He's happy to finally share a life with someone who'll understand his fairy-tale view of the world.
Plus, he loves the night. If you want to be nocturnal, he'd be out with you most evenings. Just don't let him see you kill people.
China
Yao and a vampire would be a very… turbulent relationship to say the least. His lifestyle is not one a vampire would mesh well with at all, not to mention his superstitions would have you sleeping on the couch (or outside-) most nights.
No way in hell would he let you drink his blood. No. Never. He can get you some weird knock-off blood, just for his own peace of mind, but that's the most he would ever participate in your feeding habits. Don’t talk to him about it, he’ll yell to stop until you do.
Plus, he'd be so, so sad you can't eat his meals. How is he supposed to show he likes you now?!
In general, he'd be very freaked out that you're a vampire. He would say he's not scared, but in reality, he shivers whenever he sees your fangs. Although, he really doesn’t mind having someone who’ll be stuck with him for the rest of foreseeable time. Hopefully, you’re not that young either, he’d love a more traditional partner.
The first time you told him, you were forced out of bed early in the morning so Yao could drag you to some (very shady) religious leader's house to be “cleansed.“
Not a fun experience to have. But, as time goes on, he'd become more trusting and accepting. He has seen much stranger, after all.
Russia
Like a lot of deal-breakers, Ivan could not care less. When you tell him, it's like you said nothing at all. He's a man who's at peace with the supernatural (being somewhat supernatural himself,) so he doesn't mind at all.
If you asked to drink his blood, he'd be up for it! He'd be ecstatic, even. He finds it very romantic and he's always up to try new things. Luckily for you, you could probably suck all his blood and he'd wake up fine the next morning.
If any one of the allies would love your vampirism, it'd be him. He's completely cool with becoming nocturnal (easier to garden) hunting people (good old-fashioned family fun!) and doing weird magic stuff (did you see him come through the floor that one time?)
In fact, he'd probably seek out a vampire partner. It means you'll be with him forever, bonded in blood. (He’ll) you’ll never be alone again!
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bailey-dreamfoot · 1 year
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Biblically Accurate Barnacles
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Ok so I do actually probably have to explain this (this will sound a little conspiracy -ish but please bear with me)
So like at first, I just wanted to draw a realistic polar bear Barnacles, but then I thought, hey if I'm drawing him to be biologically realistic as far as his design goes, why not make him biologically accurate in terms of his actual character?
I've talked ab it a bit before, but the jist is polar bears are hyper carnivores, with vegetation like berries making up only a very small percentage of their diet when sea ice is less expansive. And so, the fact that the Captain (and all the other crew members who are mostly carnivores/ omnivores) eats literally no meat of any kind in the show, and consume only kelp based food, they have all got to be dead may times over. Or at the very least very malnourished.
But then I thought of a headcannon I had, where like, Barnacles would visit his sister Bianca and her kids every now and then (bc they have the most wholesome sibling bond I swear-) and they'd just have like family get togethers and family dinner time. And the idea was, since Bianca isn't an animal rescuer or anything, she would still like eat meat and stuff. So when ever the Captain came over, she would make like seal burgers for herself and Orson and Ursa- and make a special veggie burger specifically for her brother.
B u t T h e n - OHHOHOH THEN, I had a wee thought.
So like Octonauts, animal universe, weirdly advanced technology, yada yada we've been through that before. They can build super complicated vehicles, Tweaks inventions range from already existing to borderline sci-fi. So hear me out here-
What if the Technology in the world of Octonauts is advanced enough, that they are able to produce lab grown meat, like scientists are trying to do right now? So then say maybe a group of mostily carnivore sea-explorers and animal rescuers (the Octonauts) have themselves a moral dilemma. Can't eat fish bc they're supposed to be saving them (+ they can talk so that's kinda fucked), but also can't just give up meat bc malnutritions a bitch. So say maybe they either create or just buy this kind of lab grown meat- right? And what if they put it *in* the kelp cakes? It would explain why we see them eating literally nothing else.
Now you may be saying, Bailey thats rediculous, the kelp cakes are called kelp cakes BECAUSE they are made of kelp, of course theres's no meat in them. And I'd say thats a perfectly reasonable assumption, yk? IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE FACT THAT THERES A CONONICAL BURGER KELP CAKE.
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TBH, it's just a wee bit out of place that the burger one is the only traditionally meat based dish here. Everything else is either a fruit or veggie based food. And I'm not even going to get into how the existance of milk and cheese would imply the existance of a dairy industry in this world.
But- not if you use that lab grown- meat idea. Whose to say something like that wouldn't or couldn't expand to other animal based foods, like milk, cream, or cheese?
So yeah thanks for coming to my tedtalk, thats why I draw Barnacles noming on a burg. It's literally 3 am, I am tired.
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archangeldyke-all · 10 months
Note
I have an idea but it's a bit iffy for some so it's totally alright if you don't want to write it! Headcanons about being Sevika's controversially young gf? So basically an age gap but all legal. Again, totally ok if it's not your cup of tea!
totally my cup of tea considering i, too, would be a controversially young gf if i ever managed to pull sevika
men and minors dni
i mean, she's not that old. i think in act one she's in her early thirties, in act two and three she's in her early fourties?
in canon i don't think she or many other people would give a shit. at least in zaun.
i think the attitude is more like 'if u can find love, hold tf onto it,' even if just for basic survival reasons.
if you guys ever went up to piltover, you might get a few strange looks. but in the undercity? everyone's cool with it. they're more focused on the war to give a shit about two consenting adults' relationship.
plus, sevika's not the type to let people talk shit about her girl. i doubt anyone would have the balls to say anything to her about your age gap.
ALSO? i don't think sevika dates someone unless she's absolutely enamored with them and can't go on without them. so it's not like she's just dating a younger girl to date a younger girl. she's dating you cuz you're you.
the chemistry you guys have, the way you make her laugh, the easy camaraderie you share-- that's why she's with you.
i could definitely see her being more sensitive about it in a modern setting tho.
she absolutely adores you, and worries that she's holding you back. she doesn't get what someone as young as you would see in someone like her, she thinks she's too boring for you. and she sees the looks you guys get in public.
the longer you're together, the less she worries about it, the more confident she is in the fact that you guys are a perfect match for each other, if a little unconventional.
your friends and family all agree. you're like a match made in heaven.
sometimes she gets really worried about it though. you woke up one night to sevika staring down at you like she'd been studying you all night.
"you don't think i'm too old for you?" she asks immediately. you blink up at her, still groggy from sleep.
"no, babe, you're a milf." you mumble, rubbing your eyes. she blinks.
"what's a milv?"
"a milf. m-i-l-f. mom i'd like to fuck." you explain.
"...i'm not a mom." she says after a minute.
you chuckle, staring up at her. "no, but you are a mommy."
she groans at your joke, throwing an arm around you and settling in to sleep.
after that, 'milf' is a regular part of her vocabulary. her instagram bio is just your anniversary, followed by, 'sevika. gym rat. reader. milf.'
there's parts of your age gap that she finds really entertaining.
you get to introduce her to all kinds of media from your generation that she'd never heard of.
we (by 'we' i mean people 18-25ish) grew up with so much good young adult media! like imagine getting sevika to read the hunger games for the first time. she'd eat that shit up.
she'd love the 2010's cartoons you show her too, especially the dumb ass lighthearted ones-- regular show, bob's burgers, that kinda thing.
she has no patience for technology, so it's a relief that any time she has an issue with a device she can just pass it off to you to figure it out. because if it was up to her? she'd smash the thing and call it a day.
when you're together long enough, you guys can even joke about it with each other. she'll teasingly call you a gold digger, and in return, you'll call her a perv.
some people might not understand it, but that doesn't matter, because to you and sevika? your relationship is the only thing in the world that makes sense.
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averagetmntfan · 9 months
Text
MASTERPOST!
(yeah I copy pasted it from the other acc, don’t sue me)
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wassup! Finally, a master post! Am I right?
(TC*ST AND PROSH*PPERS DNI!!)
hi there! I’m Jayah! You can call me jj tho. I’m js here to post a bunch of fun art and maybe some animation stuff? And occasionally, fan fiction >:). I am GenderFluid, and I go by all pronouns. And my sexuality is lesbian!
and my lil gay ass miiiiiiight be possibly maybe simping for someone rn..?? (*cough* a literally drawing)
I also have 12 roleplay blogs! @leontheluxuriousone , @wrecking-it-raphie @gayass-blueberry-mugman, @bendy-the-dancing-doofus, @koi-the-cosplay-boy, @improv-master-mikey , @ask-miss-maple-leaf ,@blue-masked-simp , @mikey-the-magnificent , @no-ditches-no-bitches , @candy-for-the-win and @ask-olive-huchers
PLUS: @ask-adi-huchers @candy-for-the-win @neon-of-the-leon (new ROTTMNT leo acc) @ask-miss-maple-leaf @ask-christopher-harrison
my current hyper fixations are: rottmnt, tadc, TBT(trolls: band together/trolls 3), The great north, bobs burgers, the cuphead show, moon girl and devil dinosaur, amphibia, the owl house, tmnt 12, cuphead and mugman in General, KREW, poppy playtime, and a SHIT TON MORE-
btw I swear quite a lot on this, so if that isn’t ur thing, u should click off.
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and here’s my sona ref!
DISCLAIMER: please don’t send me werid asks, or gross inappropriate content. I’m a minor.
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100 DTIYS!
• FANART!!: •
Leo goober(@ghosty-0w0)
PRINCESS KOI FR (@mikey-rottmnt)
MY BABIES- (@allyheart707)
MY SONS<333 (@mikey-rottmnt)
YOU MADE ME LOOK SO PRETTY RAAHHH (@mikey-rottmnt)
• ROTTMNT FICS!!!: •
The sand.
shopping day! (discontinued)
1 2 3
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The 4 servants Au:
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Chapter 1 (ongoing)
pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10 pt.11 pt.12 (currently on hiatus)
The 4 turtles work peacefully at a competing hotel with the battle nexus, with their beloved father. But one day, everything spirals out of control! And their worlds get flipped upside down! Follow Leo, Donnie, Raph & Mikey on the journey of a life time! And who knows, they might meet some friends along the way, or maybe more…
• DOODLES: •
Pissed off peeps >:[
brace face!!
• FICS: •
Colour theory thingy sorta??
• RANDOM STUFF: •
Leo being a dumb-dumb
• ANSWERED ASKS: •
what do the bros do outside of the hotel??
Mikey needs a hug
does raph break stuff often?
Do the bros like Lou Jitsu movies?
How do they feel about working there?
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Time beats a dead man
(Collab au w/ @mikey-rottmnt!!)
Pt.1
A silly cuphead and mugman au Abt uh..a lot of stuff. (Heavily inspired by babtqftim)
• FICS/ INCORRECT QUOTES: •
picky eater
get served! ..or, maybe later..
portals gone wrong!! 1 2 3
Secret admirer<3
…?
the struggles of school
Is it salad?
THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!
• HC’S that are canon in this silly au: •
Mugs
Cups and mugs (cups are not Canon)
How to hug the gang!!
• DRAWINGS: •
Human mugs doodles
chip and Dale!!
Koi and mugs being gay
KOI CANON IN TCHS?!
Rock paper scissors
• some lore: •
mugs lore
Hs! Mugs and euro…
Mug and cup lore
Main crews fav ice cream!!
cup lore (belongs to Ari)
Favourite drinks!
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Pipsqueak!
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(Coming soon..?)
“Small turtle, and even bigger problems.”
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ghostlykeyes · 7 months
Note
i rlly like your work, heartsteel needs more content tbh,, so ty!! ANYWAY,
i liked the general relationship/kiss hcs w kayn, would u be able to do that for the other two as well?? if that makes sense
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
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♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
HEARTSTEEL YONE: RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS ♡ Gender Neutral ♡ SFW, with light touching/sensuality ♡ TW: Some alcohol usage/food mentions ♡ I've done Sett's kisses here (X) and relationship HCs here (X), and Yone's kisses here (X) ! (will I remember to come back and edit those links in??? only time will tell)
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
YONE
No matter where you go, Yone brings you on fantastic dates. It's never popular tourist-trap type outings, either. If you ask how the hell he even found out about your date locations, he smiles coyly and says he can't reveal his sources. Regardless, expect lots of breathtaking, original dates—hidden trails that spill into breathtaking clumps of wildflowers, a hole-in-the-wall burger joint with the best fries you've had in tour entire life, tiny sculpture parks with some truly absurd statues (he absolutely refuses to delete the unflattering pic of you squatting next to a caked-up stone Sasquatch).
He isn't on his phone often, so don't be surprised if Yone doesn't text you back quickly or is overly-formal with his messages. Wild horses couldn't drag a silly emoji or a meme out of him. If you're lucky, you'll get a red heart, but that's about it. He tries not to make you feel neglected just because he's a dry texter, though. Especially when he's on tour, he calls you to check in whenever he's got a spare moment.
Yone's a chronic meal-skipper so he really appreciates if you share your food with him. Be warned, though, if you force him to step away from work and sit down for dinner you're either getting five minutes and a cup of instant ramen, or he's cooking you a three course meal complete with different appetizer, entree, and dessert wines. There's no in-between.
While Yone's not a fan of PDA, he holds your hand through every big event you're forced to attend. He doesn't appreciate the attention and flashing lights, but your warm, reassuring grip keeps him calm and relatively content.
Matching outfits are a little bit too much, but Yone is all for wearing clothing that compliments yours. Think similar textures, colors, and cuts. If you're wearing athleisure, he'll throw on a pair of stylish sweatpants. You're rocking the all black fit, so is he (with a pop of color in his earrings, probably—if he's completely monochrome, Kayn accuses him of "stealing his look"). Though he thinks it's a little cringy to be exact matches, he's definitely down to coordinate.
Whenever Yone makes himself a coffee, he whips up a glass of your favorite beverage as well. Nothing is too complicated—if you want a latte, he can make any flavor, and he'll pour the foam into a heart shape on top. Boba? No problem, he's got tapioca pearls in your favorite flavor and large straws on hand, to boot. A mimosa? Okay, he might raise his eyebrow at that one and point out that it's like eleven A.M.—nevertheless, if it's a mimosa you want, then it's a mimosa you'll get. Part of this is because he loves you, of course, but also? He hates sharing his coffee and figures that you won't ask for a sip if you've got your own drink.
Yone absolutely melts when you take care of him. He's used to looking after everyone else's wants and needs, so it's a pleasant surprise when someone extends that same care and attention to him. Cook him his favorite meal or take care of his laundry when he's been extra busy, and he looks at you like you're the eight wonder of the world. "You didn't have to do that for me," he cups your face gently, sweeping an appreciative kiss over your forehead. "But I'm glad that you did."
Chivalry is not dead and Yone's the man giving it CPR. Count on him to be the perfect gentleman. He opens every door for you, takes your coat whenever you drop by his studio, and no, under no circumstances will he let you pull out your own chair.
Yone's pet-names are sweet and classic. Most often, he calls you 'my darling', but he'll occasionally pepper in a 'dearest' or 'lover' for variety.
One of Yone's favorite ways to spend a free evening with you is sneaking into underground music shows. The two of you will turn up to somebody's house where the living room has been cleared to throw together a makeshift stage, or an abandoned warehouse with people clustering together and swaying to synthetic beats blasting through mid-grade speakers. More often than not, the musicians aren't that good (but that's par for the course with these kind of shows). The atmosphere can't be beat, though. And, when you do stumble upon somebody's garage band that actually goes hard, it's always an exciting surprise. Yone always keeps cash on him in case somebody's selling merch. He snags two stickers, one for you to keep and one to paste on his guitar case. What better way to commemorate shitty bands and crowded house shows than with matching stickers?
If you tag along with him on tour or business trips, Yone's first mission is to scout out a good coffee shop. Of course he takes you along, and buys you whatever little treats catch your eye. Sweets, sandwiches, snacks—anything he notices you ogling behind the glass, he orders for you.
Even with his massively packed schedule Yone NEVER, EVER forgets an important date. Expect gifts on birthdays and anniversaries, and extra love and support on dates that might be difficult for you.
Since Sett's a master crocheter, Yone pays him a frankly absurd amount to make you a plushie that looks like his fox mask. Yone knows that it can't be easy for you, with him away touring or on business so much of the time. The stuffed snuggle-buddy, he hopes, can ease your loneliness when he's away. Before he sets off on a long trip he makes sure to spritz your stuffie with his cologne, so that you can squish it in your sleep and dream that he's right there with you.
Yone's not a huge cuddler. Too much physical attention can make him feel smothered. The exception is when you sit on his lap. He loves when you settle onto him while he's working. As long as you're quiet and still (he doesn't want you to disturb his flow, after all), he basks in your comfortable warmth and the adorable way you tuck yourself into his chest.
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