#two years away of being treated with basic respect at work life could be a dream......

[thepoisonroom]

every time a customer tries to get me to take off my mask because they're allegedly hard of hearing and need to lip read i do dream of saying "is that true???" to them because that is MY disability that they're pretending to have to be a shithead and yet i don't want to say that because if i earnestly asked for accommodation and someone asked if i was lying i would want to sink into the floor!!! but if they are lying to me i think they should feel total devastating shame and go to hell probably.

[urdepressedslut]

Lovesick

♡ Pairing: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Platonic!Sam Wilson x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky is so in love with you it hurts, and he doesn’t know if he can keep his feelings locked away from you anymore.

♡ Warnings: light angst, hints to past suicide attempt, mentions of imprisonment, fluff, bucky being oblivious and adorable

“You’re staring again… Kinda creepy.” Sam mutters to Bucky, snapping him from his thoughts. Which were all of you of course.

Bucky glanced to Sam, smiling with red cheeks at being caught gazing upon you. But he couldn’t help himself. He was so in love with you, it hurt. He was lovesick, his thoughts consumed longing for you. The lack of emotionally and physically connecting with you eating away at him.

Sam smirked at Bucky getting lost in his thoughts again, glancing from him to you with a knowing look. Bucky wasn’t one to express how he felt, but he’d confessed, and Sam knew he was falling apart.

You had come from a rough past, growing and adapting slower than most. You were kept trapped away from any human interaction for five years, which resulted in you becoming a whole different person.

Fact was you didn’t remember who you were before, you had remembered the basics, your name, parents. But that was about it. You felt like you had started over in life, but along with a fresh start you had issues that lingered.

You had been given a second chance at life some would say, but it was a life that would be tainted, haunted with ghosts from your previous one. So was it really a fresh start?

You didn’t know.

You met Sam and Bucky soon after you’d been freed of isolation. They were shocked to find out you had used to be a well respected agent, before everything happened. Feeling terrible that all your training, hard work was thrown away, now having to start all over again. Some was muscle memory, an instinct that never left you. But you found yourself re-training with the two. You found yourself healing slowly in the company of them. Of course you’d grown attached, and so did they. The three of you stuck together, a deep bond having formed.

While you and Sam had more of a sibling bond, there was something extensive about you and Bucky. He was able to empathize with you, knowing full well how badly you’d suffered, and that was something you’d grown to appreciate. Having someone able to relate, was reliving in a weird way, made you feel less alone.

Bucky had immediately liked you, admiring your strength, finding your kindness infectious. You were a rare pure soul, that didn’t deserve the suffering you’d endured. At first glance he was protective, his mother-like instinct kicking in at the sight of your skittish form.

Months had gone by, and you were doing much better. You were still a little slow, and you became overwhelmed quicker. You were to be treated with a little more care than most. Nevertheless, Sam and Bucky were proud of how far you’ve come.

“You should tell her.” Sam startled Bucky from his thoughts once again, looking over at him with a hesitant expression.

“I don’t know man… I don’t wanna pressure her. She’s been doing so well, I don’t wanna jump the gun and freak her out.” Bucky rambled on, anxiety clouding his mind.

“You aren’t going to freak her out, she loves you Buck. I can tell.” Sam assured him, no teasing tone lingering.

“You can’t know that. Have you talked to her?” Bucky wondered.

“No, but it’s hard not to think otherwise with the way she looks at you.” Sam pointed out.

“How— how does she look at me?” Bucky pushed, not believing he could be that oblivious.

Sam on the other hand, thought he was completely oblivious.

“Seriously Buck? Are you missing your eyes too?” Sam asked incredulously, “She looks at you like you’re her whole world.”

Bucky thought back to the days he’d caught you glancing at him and Sam.

“She looks at you like that too.” Bucky argued.

“It’s different… I’m like a big brother she’s never had,” Sam stated, “Then you… It’s different.”

Bucky took in Sam’s words, and he couldn’t deny that yes, you and Bucky had an amazing friendship. But he was afraid that’s all it was. His chest ached at the thought that you wouldn’t want to be something more with him.

Bucky was about to respond, when Sam interrupted him, grabbing him by his shoulder.

“Your girl is looking this way.” Sam told him, motioning his head to you.

Bucky glanced to you, his eyes meeting with yours. You were holding his gaze, your eyes warm and glowing. It’s like he had never seen it before, but now that he was gazing into your orbs, he felt like your eyes were saying a million words. It was giving him hope, that you might feel the same way.

Bucky excused himself from Sam, heading towards you. Getting closer he was careful not to interrupt the little girl talking with you, the sight making Bucky watch with fondness.

“My friend is being mean to me!” The little girl whined, crossing her arms with a huff.

“Oh, well that’s not okay. Where’s your friend?” You asked, ready to scold a kid for being rude to this sweet girl.

“She’s standing right next to you.” The little girl said as if it was obvious.

Your eyes widened slightly in horror, and glanced to either side of you, furrowing your brows in confusion when you saw no one.

“She is?” You asked her, receiving a nod, “Uh… I don’t see her.”

The little girl started laughing and you faked a smile, scratching the back of your neck.

“No one can see her, she’s invisible.” She told you with a wide grin.

You understood immediately what she was saying, and felt embarrassed that you hadn’t caught on. You weren’t used to hanging around kids, and you weren’t really good at talking to them.

“Of course, how could I forget?” You asked the girl playfully, trying to will your cheeks back to normal color.

Luckily for you, the little girl’s attention span had her running away to a group of kids, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Why did that interaction stress you out so much?

Bucky’s face hurt from how much he was smiling, but he couldn’t help it watching you talk with the little girl. Something about seeing you with kids had his stomach full of butterflies. You made him feel like a nervous school boy with a crush.

“Hey doll, making some friends?” Bucky teased you, and you met his gaze, smiling warmly at him.

“I think so, the kids are adorable.” You told him, the kids even though they were difficult sometimes, they were precious.

“You seem good with kids.” Bucky acknowledged.

“Oh not at all, I was actually very nervous. I feel like I talk to kids like they’re dumb sometimes… And I don’t mean it— Of course not, I just don’t have like any experience with kids.” You rambled on, while Bucky thought you were adorable.

“Well, don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re better with kids then I am.” He admitted, though the kids he’d seen today had taking a liking to him, which warmed his heart.

It was quiet for a moment, the two of you taking in each other’s company. Then you thought of a random question.

“Have you ever wanted kids of your own?” You asked him, your question taking him by surprise.

Bucky hadn’t always thought of the idea, but he found his mind wandering towards the idea more, ever since he’d gotten close with you. Though he assumed it was impossible, maybe back in the 40’s. But after everything that had happened with HYDRA, he wasn’t sure if his body was physically able to.

“Never really thought about it.” He lied, “You?”

“I’ve never really gave it much thought either, but it would be cool to have a mini-me running around.” You admitted, though the overall idea of kids terrified you.

Bucky smiled at the idea of a miniature you, the idea warming his heart.

“Uh, so actually… I wanted to talk to you doll.” Bucky started, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“We are talking Buck.” You said with a giggle, the sound giving Bucky butterflies.

“No no,” He chuckled, “I mean about something kinda serious. Something that I need to get off my chest.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at the word serious, watching his playful expression slowly fade.

“Oh? Is everything okay?” You asked him, growing concerned.

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine. I just wanna talk.” He assured you, calming you with his genuine expression. "Come on, let's go on Sam's boat."

Bucky grabbed your hand, helping you stand. The two of you walked onto the boat.

You immediately started fiddling around with the helm of the boat, pretending to be at sea. Bucky watched with heart eyes, leaning against the doorway.

“You know…” He started, getting your attention, “I’m super proud of you. For how far you’ve come.”

You smiled at his praise.

“Wouldn’t be here without you.” You told him truthfully, he was your rock. Sam too of course. But Bucky was special.

“I’m always gonna be here to help ya, but you gotta give yourself some credit.” He stated.

“I do…” You started to argue.

“(Y/n)…”

“No I do,” You trailed off, getting serious all of a sudden, “But sometimes I think back when things were pretty bad and… Well you were there. I really do mean it— I wouldn’t be here without you.”

Bucky immediately knew what you were talking about, and he cursed his mind for remembering the haunting image so vividly. You had been at a very low point in your recovery, and you tried taking yourself out of this world. His world. His hands clinging onto your crimson covered wrists was an eye opener, that he didn’t want to live in a world where you didn’t exist. The very thought horrifying him to his core, his body frozen with dread.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bring it up I just—”

“No no, don’t apologize doll,” His voice wavered, “Just hate that you ever felt that way is all.”

Despite rehashing over rough memories, you couldn’t help your chest from feeling warm, seeing Bucky care so much about you, had you feeling fuzzy. He had been so protective over you since that day, and some would call it overbearing, but you found yourself feeling safe. You knew Bucky would stop anyone from even blowing a breath of air your way if that meant you’d be in danger.

Bucky recognized that warm glow in your eyes again, as you gazed into his. He took a deep breath, seeing as this was his best chance.

“(Y/n), I like you… A lot.“ He rushed out, and you were still smiling, no shock shown on your face.

“I like you a lot too Buck.” You shot back, stepping away from the helm and closer to him.

“You— Really?” He wondered if this was all his imagination.

Sam was right? Psh, no way.

“Really Buck. I’m not good at expressing emotions— feelings, or any of that stuff. But I do know that I always want to be with you, I always want you around, even if we aren’t talking to each other. Just knowing you’re near is enough.” You confessed, hoping that what you said made sense.

By the look on Bucky’s face, you assumed you said just the right thing.

“Doll, I’m crazy about you. You’ve got me wrapped around your tiny little finger, I’m yours.” He told you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you to his chest.

“Buck?” You whispered, cupping his face with your small hands, feeling him lean into your touch.

“Yes doll?” He whispered back, looking at you like you were his entire world.

Well, because you were.

“I think I love you.” You told him shyly, your cheeks reddening.

Bucky’s heart nearly gave out at your words, but he couldn’t help the overwhelming rush of joy that your confession had given him.

“I think I love you too doll.”

A/N: my ideas come to me at the most random times, this one came to me a couple days ago while I was eating cereal 🥴🤷🏻‍♀️

[momo-de-avis]

.........

These past two days have been a fucking whirlwind but I cannot fully express the absolute rollercoaster that was that funeral. There was more joy than anything however. I was reunited with my northern family after twenty years and to these people it's like only a day passed. They were warm and welcoming and joyful and I felt like a part of myself was mended. I have their contacts now and I know we will see each other more. I miss Minho so damn much. The entire time I didn't feel I belonged there because I didn't know any of those people. During the wake, I was introduced not as my father's daughter but as my brother's sister. Some people didn't even know he had a daughter, but it was different at the funeral. People who worked with him his entire life told me my father talked about me, and they knew very specific things (my going to Coimbra, buying a house, graduating, health issues) which was very surprising. They just hadn't met me. The most bizarre thing was having the ministry of health greeting me and at one point, my brother slaps me on the shoulder with a glint of "don't fuck this up" in the eye and the fucking prime minister is there to give me his condolences. Those of you who have figured out who my father was, i suppose you guys understand now why I was always the black sheep of this small part of the family, why my brother tailored himself to be the perfect right wing conservative (our father was basically his hero) and labelled me as this rebellious leftist, why we butted heads so much. Politics talk was always very finicky and avoided. And why I tried my best to keep in the shadows. Idk what he thought I was going to do im that moment for him to look so panicked cause prime minister or not, the man was polite and respectful and it's a fucking funeral anyway. Next thing I know, I'm being told I need to read some fucking prayer at the podium in front of hundreds of people and being invited to parliament for a vote of "grief" by the government. I told them absolutely will not do either. But this is the kind of shit that I am so used to being scolded and villainised for I was terrified of saying no. But these people told me it's up to me, that it does not mean I care less, they understand. Nobody pressured me. It was a whiplash to be treated like a human when I said I don't feel comfortable being in the spotlight. Tomorrow at noon you will not see me in parliament.

My biggest gripe was my father's partner. Up until the funeral, all I felt was rage, rage for having hid his new child from me and for never introducing me properly to his partner. I was sure she hated me for some reason. But then she said "I need to speak to you" and what she told me honestly just ripped me apart. I think at that moment, when she held my hands and spoke in a way that made me realise that she understood things a lot better, and we both just cried in each others arms, I started to let go. It just didn't matter anyway. What's done is done. Then she said her daughter saw a picture of my brother and I and asked who I was, and she said "that's your sister" and the girl went "I have a sister?" And apparently is extremely excited about meeting me. It just pulled me back to my tween years when my lonely, depressed ass used to dream of having a big sister that could take care of me.

It was such a wild day. There's a part of me that healed just for being reconnected with my family. I miss Minho so much. I miss this family whose love language is being a fucking brute and cursing like a mf. I missed this sense of belonging I always felt with them. Twenty years since I last saw them and it was like only a day had passed.

I don't know what to take away from this. It's sad that it takes one dying to start healing from a lifetime of neglect and abandonment and disappointment but it is what it is. I feel I regained my family back. I feel I have my northern rib back in me. I never laughed and cried so much at a funeral. I don't know if the anger I was feeling up to this moment is gone, but it's fading and I have these wonderful people I was always so proud to call a family to thank for. I can now say again that I have so many cousins and so many aunts and I love them all.

Apparently I did not evade all the cameras but it was a regional news website so whatever at least it wasn't national news.

[ashysmultifandomcatdump]

another roleswap AU (because i have lost control of my life)

these things. are all i know how to make now.......

ANYWAY it's my take on a wander<-->sylvia roleswap AU!!! i didn't Properly draw sylvia here because i couldn't get her to look right, and she's basically the Same anyway. just without her saddle and with the hat tied around her neck. i don't know if i'm entirely happy with these designs (struggled with the colors for wander and i'm not sure i really like them) but they're all i could think of....and i didn't wanna just copy anyone else's. so that's how they Are for now until i think of something better! (general stuff about the AU and additional doodles under the cut)

for sylvia, i was thinking about her differences in reforming people compared to wander's. while we don't exactly see her do that in the show, she does get Somewhere with villains that wander can't/hasn't tried to do anything with: dominator and peepers. the fact that she almost got dominator to appreciate the beauty of life, someone who is Definitely irredeemable—yeah, i think she could definitely redeem someone, if she tried. how does her method differ from wander's?wander's is precise, time-tested, and based on his analysis of the other person's character; he constantly pushes their buttons to see what makes them tick. while sylvia, from what we see—it's just to mostly...treat them normally. like, relate to them: she has fun brawling with dominator, she and peepers find similarities in Their Idiots. she talks to them. basically, sylvia works from common ground and wander works from uncommon ground. if that makes sense

so, i imagine in wander's place, sylvia's just kind of. Chill! she doesn't have wander's thousands of years of experience, but she has her own down-to-earth attitude, and it's not like her less than thousands of years experience isn't valuable at all. she probably hasn't redeemed a villain before, but she's definitely helped people, and well if they cross paths grop darn it she's going to try. who knows? it could work! it worked with wander, at least. (and like, this is just a small thought that i'm not sure would apply but: mini hater and peepers swap perhaps, not in the complete roleswap way, hater's still the boss, but more like. maybe swapping who's the Main Guy to be redeemed? sylvia's way of relating to people might work more with peepers than hater...but i don't know, i could see it either way)

and speaking of wander: how's our non-violent do-gooder make it to the point of being The Fighter? what got him to abandon his carefree attitude to be The Protector? well! nothing!! he simply never had it in the first place!!! instead of learning to go with the flow and take things as they come...he kinda just Didn't. he never got the hat which to me is what allowed him to start doing that (i have a whole backstory about this but it's a bit long so i'll just move on) instead for the rest of his life continued living in a constant state of anxiety. which is, you know, Not Good for a guy, especially when this lasts thousands of years. i think he still has to help people, but he hasn't gained the courage to go above and beyond or confront villains like in canon. Wander With Survival Instincts, basically. and his main reaction to fear is to run away; but i think, over time, that might not be sustainable, or he might meet someone that convinces him to start fighting back just a bit.

yes, i am sneaking in just one other swap here: screwball and lil bits. this might seem strange and it kinda is. i'm still kinda workshopping it, like maybe screwball should swap with ryder instead...but i dunno, i've always just associated screwball and lil bits with each other. two villains specific to wander and sylvia respectively, whom the other is not able to understand as a threat throughout their debut episode. i think it would be funny. and screwball being a bounty hunter when swapping with bits just Fits, since wander eventually ends up as a bounty hunter before meeting sylvia...of course lending to the idea that they were partner bounty hunters in the past. which works really well, i think

and considering comedy and horror are two sides of the same coin, and that this wander is primarily focused on his Fear, it'd be fun if he had more of a horror theme. a really campy, goofy one. my thoughts are maybe that screwball helped guide wander to lean more towards a Fighting fear response, but eventually scared him away somehow. i don't know how yet, but i'll figure it out. here's a visualization:

and as for how wander and sylvia met, i still have to figure out some parts, but i think that sylvia would notice how anxious wander is, ask him if he's okay, and he would promptly break down, as such:

and from that moment on, wander solemnly swore that he would protect sylvia for the rest of her life, and she's been stuck with him since. (not that she's mad about that)

of course he's still energetic and hyperactive...i think his fighting would reflect that. he's a feral little creature

oh, and for sylvia's relationship with The Hat: she probably found it beat up and bruised one day, with no one around (wander not stealing the hat all those years ago meant a happy ending for No One). yet another thing i have to figure out fully is how she ended up taking it with her, but she did. i don't think she fully understands it, she hasn't realized that it gives you what you need, but she does know that it dispenses items that are sometimes useful (it's a sassy little thing to her) and might somewhat realize its sentience, so she keeps it around, though she's still building trust with it

anddddd yeah that's basically it so far :) i'm always up for questions and suggestions! i hope people like it hehe

[creatingnikki]

Dear twenty-seven year old me,

You have your work cut out for you, let me just say that right away. I am sorry but this is all I could do. I, the twenty-six-year-old, who had to abandon the home she was happy and struggling to build. And the ones before me, the twenty-five, twenty-four, twenty-three, twenty-two, twenty-one, and twenty-year-old selves too — I won't say we did the best we could but I will say that we tried.

Of course, now, with five days left before I turn 27, I finally know that sometimes trying is not enough. For things that absolutely matter to you, for things you absolutely want, trying is not enough. And so you, you have to do better than try.

Too much pressure? But you only have to try for yourself. You don't have to try for the world or anybody in it. You don't have to try to be kinder, sweeter, politer, or more useful. Friends, lovers, corporations, ideologies will always demand more and more and more from you. And for them I tried and tried and tried. All of your twenty-something selves until now did. Your teen selves too.

Also, just because you are a good person, it does not mean that the world will treat you better. One of the hardest truths to accept and understand. Of course, you were never good because you thought there would be such a reward but you always just assumed that it would only be natural for life to be just and fair in these ways. Now I know it's not.

Please, remember, you do not have to be quiet and take it all lying down. You can still speak your mind and respectfully put people back in their place instead of letting them walk all over you. You are no Gandhi. You should only show your other cheek to someone when they have kissed one cheek and now you want them to kiss the other. Not to slap you again.

When you are tired, when you are upset and demotivated, please, take rest. Pause but do not quit or abandon. You know, our abandonment issues may just have something to do with the fact that we have quite easily abandoned our values, goals, and dreams at different stages of life.

Either because we wanted to accommodate another person or because of the hurdles that showed up. Or because it was us who did not believe that our goals and values and dreams were worthy of being faithful to, worthy of being met, worthy of being celebrated.

But dear twenty-seven-year-old me, listen to me. You are worthy. And I know you like proof and reason and not empty flattery or words of affirmation. And I could list a thousand reasons and this isn't even a hyperbole — I really could. However, all you need to know to believe that is that you have lived a life that is gracious and graceful. God loving, not god fearing. Fear has never motivated you in any walk of life. You are someone that if you were to come across you would not only really like but gosh you would be in utter awe and really respect.

Above any reason I could give you, however, is this — you have to support yourself, no matter who you are and how you decide to live your life, you have to support yourself.

Okay, now that all of this important stuff is out of the way I just want to say, while you work hard at what is important, have fun (as much as is possible and in ways that is safe) and keep writing. For dreams that do not seem possible right now, put them on hold but do not abandon them or shoot them in the head. For dreams that are possible now, don't overthink.

Balance, breathe, and go back to basics. That is all you have to remember when it all gets too much. I love you, your mother loves you, and there are a handful more on that list. If all else pales in face of pain, go to them. In joy and abundance too, go to them. In the mundanity of life too, be by them whenever possible.

All my love, now and forever, 26-year-old you.

[mins-fins]

GENESIS (P.GW)

SUMMARY . . . even with everything hectic going on in his life, he will always be there for him.

PAIRING . . . park gunwook x male!reader

GENRE . . . fluff, angst

WARNINGS . . . mentions of sleep deprivation, and neglectful parenting

WORD COUNT . . . 1.7k

NOTES . . . this is how i cope with the fact that pretty much no one in my household cares about me or my well-being, or even respects me (the baby who can't speak loves me more than the sentient adults and children do) enough of that depressing stuff though because i love gunwook yay!

"seojun chew your food! stop spitting at haneul!"

"i— yuri! don't throw your food! i have to clean that later, you know!"

if you can't tell, y/n is currently at the end of the line right now. he groans and lets his head fall onto the counter, listening to the back and forth bickering of his three child siblings. it's 6:49 pm, and he is so so tired.

for the past four hours all he's simply been taking care of his brothers and sister, like he always does on the weekdays when he isn't working. he dislikes feeling tired; because there's still so much more to do even if they're already in the evening.

y/n can't remember the last time he earned a proper break, or was actually treated his age. his mom (who he absolutely despises at the moment and will probably despise forever), decided to have kids right when her son began high school, which means that he is now an eighteen year old high school graduate with two four year old boys and a three year old girl on his hands.

and y/n is as stressed as can be. it's not like before his mother was this amazing, flawless parent who did a good job at raising him, she wasn't, he had to learn every single basic life skill on his own because his mom was busy gambling away their money.

when he was ten she swore to him that he'd get better.

but she never really did.

and now she's out throwing all her money away at the casino, whilst he stays over at home making sure her kids are well fed, can sleep properly at night, and don't kill each other as they're trying to do now.

y/n knows it's not his job to do this, these aren't his kids, he can move out any time he pleases and leave his mom to actually have responsibility over her own children for once in her life, but he just doesn't have the heart to leave them.

he's practically raised these kids since the first day they came home from the hospital. he's the one who gave the twins their nicknames, the one who was present when all three of them walked for the first time, spoke their first words, began responding to him and what he'd say.

they're not his kids, he didn't choose to bring them into this world, but at the same time, he won't just leave them. he's been.. searching, trying to find a place whilst also trying to provide for his siblings at the same time, he barely makes minimum wage, he doesn't even know if he could rent a place.

as he stares at his young siblings, now cleaned up and simply watching cartoons while sitting on the couch. he sighs, simply wanting to collapse onto the floor and not get up for a long amount of time and just.. not exist anymore.

sometimes it gets so difficult, having to go to school five days a week, pick up his siblings from daycare then proceed to take care of them until their bedtime, make sure the house is clean, then watch as his mom strolls in at midnight, having wasted her money and usually wasted herself. he'd then work for a full 10 hours on saturday and sunday.

wow, his life is crazy is it not?

and he just turned eighteen like.. yesterday.

it pisses him off, yeah, but at the end of the day, he just deals with the circumstances of his life. he's gotten used to being the responsible one, being the one who takes care of the kids and is constantly sleep deprived.

y/n is about to fall asleep on the kitchen counter, the sound of the tv playing just melting into the air as he feels his eyes grow heavier and heavier by the second. his head is about to fall onto the counter when the doorbell rings, startling him.

y/n rubs his eyes, attempting to blink away the tiredness as he stands up and walks towards the door. he tells his siblings to continue watching tv and ignore it, when he opens the door, he smiles at who he sees.

"gunwook".

gunwook smiles, holding up a plastic bag. y/n tilts his head, raising an eyebrow. "what is in that exactly?" he inquires, and his boyfriend chuckles at him.

"candy" he responds simply. the three kids on the couch immediately perk up at the sound of the word "candy", toothy grins coming to their face.

"candy!?" haneul squeals, practically sprinting his way towards gunwook, he jumps up and down, seemingly energetic before even eating the sugary treats.

"if you want candy, sit down okay?" y/n places his hand on his head, ruffling his hair. haneul stares at his older brother, his boyfriend, then back at the couch where his own siblings are kicking their feet.

haneul shuffles his way back to the couch, and gunwook closes the door. y/n stares at him tiredly, but he smiles at the sight of him. "candy at seven pm? really?"

"what? your siblings deserve something sweet!"

"well, you didn't just witness them trying to kill each other with spaghetti, did you?"

gunwook shoves his partner's shoulder lightly, and y/n laughs. "okay, not too much candy, they have to sleep at night" he just earns a grin from gunwook, who nods.

"i got it y/n, you tell me all the time".

"you buy my siblings sweets all the time".

"because i love them" gunwook opens the bag as he says those words, and haneul gasps in delight. "just one piece, okay? your bedtime is soon".

seojun agrees, his voice muffled because of the treat he's chewing. haneul nods happily, and yuri gives a thumbs up, kicking her feet. gunwook gives the three a huge smile, enamored but their cuteness.

y/n stares at the scene unfolding before him, smiling fondly as he watches. gunwook isn't a kid person, but gunwook adores his siblings, always willing to come over to just see them.

the two have been dating for maybe half a year, but they've been friends for much longer than that. gunwook knows about y/n's situation, how he's stuck taking care of siblings because even though he wants to leave, he doesn't have the heart to leave them because his mom can't provide for them.

gunwook usually always comes over, whenever y/n is especially tired and simply feels like he can't do anything, gunwook will keep his siblings company as he collects himself.

of course, having to take care of your three child siblings whilst just becoming an adult yourself can take a huge mental toll on someone, and y/n isn't really doing well in this situation.

he blinks and sighs, covering his face in his hands as he feels his body about to slump over. he really just wants to fall on the floor and not wake up for a super long time.

when he focuses again, gunwook is now coloring with the three, who (surprisingly) stopped eating their candy and didn't ask for any more. gunwook has always had this power, he's always been able to easily calm down the kids amazingly.

a sort of charm, maybe.

gunwook notices his partners silence and turns to look at him, blinking. "y/n? everything okay?"

y/n hums, focusing once more. "yeah just.. tired".

gunwook stares, a knowing glint in his eye. he then looks back to the three coloring and smiles at them. "you guys continue, okay? i'm just gonna go talk to y/n".

the three nod, quickly going back to their coloring sheets and completely ignoring when gunwook stands up and turns y/n's way.

y/n is confused for a moment, he's about to question what gunwook meant but he quickly wraps an arm around his waist, nudging him lightly in the waist as they begin walking down the hallway.

"when was the last time you got a full eight hours of sleep, babe?" he immediately asks when the two of them are far away enough from the kids, y/n chuckles depressingly, because they both already know the answer to that question.

"do my eye bags not give it away?"

y/n laughs awkwardly, and gunwook simply glares at him.

"y/n" gunwook grabs his hands, and y/n shuts his eyes. "you really need to leave, what? are you gonna do this forever?"

"i'm not i just—" y/n pauses, god he's so tired, he feels like he can barely get his words out at this point. "i can't leave, it feels selfish to leave".

"it's not selfish to leave if your already doing everything, y/n, think about yourself, please?"

gunwook's words are said simply, he doesn't raise his voice, his tone doesn't change, he just tells it to y/n how it is, he tells him his opinion calmly and without issue.

ah, charms.. as usual.

y/n grasps his hands harder, as if he never wants to let go. he processes the words but he can't find a way to respond to them, for some reason. he blinks, staying quiet.

"i'll find you something y/n" gunwook whispers. "and you'll finally be able to live your own life, and take care of yourself, and.. you'll be fine".

y/n laughs silently. "your corny".

"corny? really?"

y/n laughs again.

"y/n, i just want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy, you deserve good things" gunwook says, and y/n somehow keeps the tears from falling from his eyes.

y/n lightly nudges him, and gunwook puts his arm around his waist once again. "you are corny".

"you love my corniness".

"yes, yes i do, how'd you know?"

they laugh, and y/n takes a few more seconds to simply stare fondly at gunwook. of course, his life wasn't ideal, his life wasn't amazing, he had many struggles it'd take a while to deal with.

but he had gunwook, gunwook was there for him, and that was more than enough.

gunwook was there for him.

and he's always will be.

[ozimagines]

Do have any thoughts on Miguel being a parent? Loved your Chico parent ideas!

AHHH yessss! You could tell after Miguel truly understood what it meant to bring a life into the world that he wanted to be a dad.

(Also thank you so much🥹❤️ Love me some Papa Chico)

Miguel Alvarez as a Parent would include…

After Miguel lost his son, he was broken. Broken because he knew it was his fault.

He was seventeen when he got Maritza pregnant. Senior Prom.

At sixteen he was running with the local gangs. At eighteen he was in prison. In those two years there was unprotected sex and drugs and violence. Anything to give him that high.

When his kid is born, there’s a break in the clouds; a reason to change.

Only too little too late. 💔

When he gets a chance to do it again, he does it for his son.

Miguel is not a neglectful father by any means. If anything he’s a little helicopter-y at first.

He encourages his kids into extracurriculars; anything to keep them off the streets.

If they play sports, he’s at every game/match. 🏀⚽️

If they do theatre, he’s got a playbill in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. 🎭

Miguel is surprisingly artistic and I think his kids would love the drawings he does on their lunch notes.

He packs their lunch, doesn’t matter who his partner is. (If he has one)

Like season one Miguel wouldn’t do this but season six totally would; his kids have bento boxes and sometimes they have themes or colors for the day. 🧃

Purple bentos with ube cookies and grapes and jelly sandwiches.

Finds exotic snacks and stuff for them to try: different instant ramens and chocolates and whatnot.

“Today’s theme is Egypt!”

Watches Veggie Tales with them a lot. Knows all the words to “I Love My Duck”.

A Snoodle’s Tale always makes him cry.

Keeps a stash of different jellies and peanut butters to make the perfect PB and J for his kids.

“One strawberry and smooth, one grape and chunky, one…”

Kind of a parent who doesn’t mind picky eaters and just rolls with it.

Makes pancakes in different shapes.

“Smiley face coming up!”😭❤️‍🩹

He can’t tell his kids enough how much school is worth.

God knows he can’t help with their homework but he always tries

Gets his kids involved in academic pursuits

Makes flash cards with little drawings; basically takes the classes with his kids.

They’re bilingual too; he speaks Spanish at home to help them

Is a stay at home dad/works from home

When he’s working, he puts on Law and Order, and his older kids like to watch while he works.

Miguel knows all the endings and accidentally spoils it often😂

Gets them gifts on every holiday. They wake up to flowers on Valentine’s Day, chocolate bunnies on Easter, and even cinnamon rolls on Groundhog’s Day.

He just looks for a reason to let them know they’re loved.

Didn’t hear that growing up. His dad was in prison, his mom was kind of a hardass. So he doesn’t want there to be any confusion for his kids.

When they get in trouble at school, he overreacts. It scares him that they might make the same mistakes he did.

“I’m saving ten years of your life. Don’t fuck this up.”

When his kids get As in school, he has a full on celebration at home, even if they’re used to it. 🎉🥳

When his kids are bullied, his heart aches.

He remembers how the Latinos in prison treated him.

“I know what you’re going through, kid. I can’t tell you it always gets better, but you’ll find people who appreciate you, and those other people will kind of just fade away.”❤️‍🩹

If his kid comes out to him (sexuality or gender wise) he’s as supportive as he can be.

“I don’t know much about this stuff, kiddo. But… you’re my kid and I’m here for you.”

He respects their pronouns and their significant other’s pronouns. It may take him a minute but he’s trying.

His kids’ favorite thing to do with their father is the dishes; he turns on loud music and they sing and dance as they get their chores done.

He’s not especially strict, but when he puts his foot down he’s immovable.

His kids disagree sometimes but knows it comes from a place of love.

Unlike Chico, he’s fairly transparent with his kids about his past.

When he has to have the drug talk, he admits he used and it was the most confusing time of his life. He tells them he knows they’re going to make their own decisions, but hopes his honesty deters them a little.

He hopes if he’s honest with them, they feel like they can go to him with everything.

Has a policy where they can calm him drunk and as long as they don’t try to drive they come home without punishment.

Kind of a parent who allows his kids to go to the birthday party but not sleep over. He just gets nervous.

He holds “sleepovers” every weekend night when he and his kids set up the living room with snacks and pillows and blanket forts and watch movies all night.🎥

Goes to classes as an adult to get his GED/degree. He just wants his kids ti be proud of him.

And they are. His kids brag about him all the time. How their dad beat drugs and prison. How their dad survived.

“Youre so hard on yourself, daddy. We’re proud of you.”🥰

His mom loves her grandkids. She’s an intimidating abuela but she loves those damn kids.

When they get sick, Miguel takes off work and stays with them all day. He makes them chicken soup, looking up a recipe on his phone, plays Disney movies all day no matter how old they are, and gives them snuggles when they have a fever.

He adopts a dog for them and names her/him Julie/Donald.

The dog eats like a damn queen/king, and he enjoys preparing fun pupp-reciation treats for her/him.

When his mom offers to watch the kids while he goes on vacation, he spends the whole time calling home and asking about them. 😅

Like Chico has the Tickle Police, Miguel has Boo Boo Bear; a cheap stuffed bear he cut open the backside to and stuffed an ice pack in. 🧸

He tells people as long as his kids are healthy and happy, he’s happy.

When his kids accomplish anything, he’s in the audience, and they thank him.

They thank him for all the hours of care he’s given them.

The unconditional support.

“My Dad is my biggest hero, because he really truly did get out of Oz.”❤️❤️❤️

Bonus: When his kids are old enough to date, Miguel is actually really nice to their significant others. Like, he’ll invite them for dinner, learn things about them, and tell them to call him Dad or Mr. Miguel.

[monstersinthecosmos]

i'm curious to know why you're not a big fan of modern day armand x marius!

In some ways I can't really explain this because it's like, why do any of us ship anything? It just doesn't really click for me in the way that any other random ship doesn't click for me.

I think there's a version of them that I could buy if someone wrote it out and sold it to me, where they put in a lot of work to heal themselves & each other to a point where they make sense as a couple, but where canon leaves off I just do not see it at all. And that's the beauty of fanworks, like our job as fic writers is to convince the reader that this is plausible.

But when I think of each of them in the modern day, and how strained their relationship is, I just cannot really connect with what they could possibly see in each other or how it could possibly work.

Armand is SUCH a different person than he was in Venice and I feel so strongly about his need for respect and his need for boundaries so that he can be the person he's meant to be. And I'm not sure Marius will EVER see him as an equal, even at their best. Armand needs to be treated like a grown up, you know? I want him with people who respect his feelings fully and who take him seriously and see him as a complete person. (This is him and Louis lol.)

I also think Armand seriously & deeply needs time with people who don't need him to be a caretaker. I think it's natural for him to want to play that role and make a home for everybody and take charge, but I think there's a balance in here somewhere in that he can do things that make him feel good and centered without feeling like he has to. And Marius in the modern day is SO deeply traumatized I don't like Armand being burdened with it. I think it's outside of the scope of what he can deal with, and this was somewhat like their dynamic in Venice, that Marius at times relied on him emotionally in a way that was too much.

I just think everyone needs to put their own oxygen masks on before helping others!

And for Marius, I just think he's like so broken. Like within his lifespan I still think that the Akasha wound is WAY too fresh; UNFORTUNATELY I WILL BE SAYING THIS FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE BECAUSE I'M A MERE MORTAL but it's only been 30 years, right? Vs. the 2000 years he'd cared for her.

Part of Marius healing (to me) is also him dealing with some of his ego issues, because I think he's created this shell for himself as his own way to cope with immortality and the burden of The Parents and all the existential bullshit that entailed. And that kinda means like, being able to treat Armand as an equal (or anyone else) and the practice to get there and the work it takes might need to be done with a peer like Pandora or Mael. And those two particularly I think have seen him at his messiest and ugliest and imo are the only people in the world who actually know him.

He's also harmed Armand SO MUCH that I don't think Armand can be that person, or least I don't think it's fair for Armand to be that person. It kinda reminds me of the Ring Theory with grief/support except there's this like layer of parentification that I'm not sure how to plop into an infographic but

Basically, I imagine Armand being the very center, and Marius directly outside of him because he's the parent, and because he owes Armand the space lol. Marius should be traumadumping OUTWARD away from Armand while he works through his problems. LEAVE ARMAND OUT OF THIS LOL.

I think Marius is like, deeply hurt by things that have happened in the Coven since QOTD (even actually since TVL when Akasha drank from Lestat) and like, I don't get the feeling that he's really dealt with it meaningfully because he tries so hard to be stoic and like logic&reason his way out of feeling his feelings. I don't think he ever really had that reckoning in canon. And like I think him being hurt by Armand is completely genuine, even if he has to be accountable for his own part in it, and that's something they absolutely should talk about. Maybe it's even the conversation that Blood Communion alluded to.

But to me, canon ends at Blood Communion, and I don't see like a single conversation as enough to heal this tremendous schism between them.

I just think they're both so deeply disappointed in each other and it's gonna be like centuries before they can even begin repairing it.

I CAN'T EVEN CONCEPTUALIZE HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE FOR THEM TO GET TO A PLACE WHERE IT'S OKAY. I believe they'll get there, but. I just don't see it and I haven't yet cracked the seal on writing post-canon sci fi taking place 200 years from now.

So anyway people ship things for a million reasons and like sometimes it's as simple as "hot" and sometimes it's "i want them to destroy each other" and sometimes it's domestic fluff and sometimes it's even all these exact points I've made--breaking them to pieces so that they can heal each other--but for me personally it just doesn't really do it for me. All the reasons I listed could be THE reason why someone else ships them in present day!! 😂 I just feel like so emotional and opinionated about what I want Marius to get up to in the modern day and I don't think Armand can help him. At least not in the Kacyverse!!!!! 😂😂

[docholligay]

Hood by Emma Donoghue

My wife loved this book when she was a young gay depressed Catholic, and I think you would have to be to put up with Pen. Even she said she didn't like it anymore, as an adult with a marriage and life.

This is about being gay in the 90s in Ireland, and I guess when you don't have a lot of choices, you spend your life with the girl you've been with since high school even if she treats you like shit, even if she steps out on you, even if she tells you that she sometimes just wants to run away from you, that you loving her is too much. But don't worry, she'll always come back to you, and, by the way, you can work while I volunteer or whatever I want to do, so, that's great too. I'm just too ~Cara~ to have a job. By the end of it, I was sitting here like, "Pen, the only good thing Cara ever did for you is die."

I was going to punch Pen in the face. My god, girl. I know it is rough being gay in a place where that is not okay, but you don't actually have to sacrifice your self-respect. We flash back to a time when they were walking together, and Cara literally ran away from her, ran and left her alone, far and fast, and when Pen saw her later, all she says is, "I just wanted to get away from you" and Pen remembers this with hurt YEARS later, and Cara never remembers it.

The only person I like in this novel is Kate, Cara's sister who moved to the US when she was young and is there with Pen going, "Oh no, I'm never coming back here ahahah, I was impatient for Ireland to catch up, so I fucking left. Don't call me Cáit, I haven't let anyone call me that since I left school and it's not my fuckin name anymore" Which is interesting in a number of ways, but also because...the author basically fucked off to Canada from Ireland, so Jill tells me, and I'm wondering if that isn't the author saying a little bit, "Yeah some of Pen's ruts are Pen's problems. You can just leave, girl!" Kate and Cara are the only two you ever see really refusing to take what they're given, and we see Pen have feelings for Kate, also, so it might be that Pen is so useless in that way that she needs a person who is willing to destroy anything to be where they want to be. To run, and leave everything behind and down with love, and home.

All of which would have been fine but the narrative seems to think that Pen is tragic rather than admit that she is part of the fucking problem here, and she made her bed in a lot of ways. This is probably a fine book for other people, but for me the ending with...what? Her getting to finally be friends, at least for one night, with Cara's friends, I'm supposed to consider that happiness? Maybe. Maybe it could be, and I think I would have liked the ending a LOT better, actually--It's not bad in and of itself--minus the fact that we have hundreds of pages of Pen being a sad, sad doormat and then alternately mourning the boots that won't tread on her anymore.

[questionableratatouille00]

𝙃𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙅𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙨

Pairing: past Clint Barton x Reader

Summary: You never expected your ex to move on so quickly, but when the holidays come around you’re forced to face the truth.

Warnings: parties, drinking, mention of death, relationship that didn’t work out (yes it is Clint and you), jealous reader, bitter reader, reader is the grinch for real for real, background sambucky, and Christmas.

Every year on the 15th of December, Tony Stark had his Christmas party. And ever since you became an Avenger in 2012, your attendance to said party had become mandatory.

You genuinely had to die to get out of going. You hadn’t ever really disliked this party until 2014. When everything in your life basically began to crash and burn.

You leaned against the railing, watching the party from above. You sipped on a whiskey, the burning sensation distracting you from your misery.

“I knew he’d be quick to move on, but I didn’t know he’d have a fuckin’ marriage.” You grumbled bitterly, as Kate Bishop walked up beside you. She had a black suit on, and she looked pretty damn good.

You weren’t interested in her like that, she was twenty two and you were well into your thirties, soon to be forties. It wasn’t the worst age gap, but it didn’t feel right for you.

“At least he’s happy?” She tried to inspire some kind of enthusiasm in you.

You just huffed out a laugh.

It wasn’t hard to identify the Avengers in the crowds; Bucky and Sam were obviously flirting with each other yet were somehow oblivious to it in the corner, Steve and Nat were having a drinking competition, Thor was entertaining a crowd of young women, and everyone else was off doing other time-wasting bullshit.

“He has kids, too.” Kate said after a moment.

“Gee, thanks for reminding me. Can’t believe I forgot.” You looked down in your glass, swirling the liquid around before taking a drink.

“Sorry.” She muttered.

“Why are you wasting time up here, with me? Don’t you have Nat’s sister to flirt with?”

“What? No—she doesn’t look at me like that. I mean—I don’t think she does—do you think she does?—I kinda hope she does—does she?” She sputtered out.

“…Right. Anyway, you’re too young to be hiding on a balcony at an infamous Stark Party. Go have fun.” You glanced at her, proving your earnestness.

“You’re sure?” She blinked at you.

“Go, Bishop. Have fun.”

She smiled, before walking to the staircase that lead down to the main party floor. You watched her go, before going back to your people-watching.

“A wife.” You muttered darkly, grumbling to yourself. “I bet he doesn’t even treat her right. I could do better, and I don’t even have one wife.”

You glared daggers at the woman. Lauren. Lylah? Lorelei? Lafayette? Something like that.

She was laughing, sipping on a glass of champagne. You scowled at the sight. She was clearly a few years younger than the two of you.

Once your whiskey glass emptied, you realized you had to walk back down to the main floor to get another.

And so you did, attempting to avoid any type of social interaction. And you made it all the way to the bar before you made a terrible timing mistake.

Standing right beside you was your ex-boyfriend, dressed in a leather jacket and a shirt, paired with a belt and some jeans. They were nice clothes, so that he didn’t look out of place at the fancy party.

“L/n,” he coughed awkwardly.

“Barton.” You replied, your tone short and clipped.

You stood together in awkward silence for a few moments as you waited for your own respective drinks.

“It’s good to see you,” he said after a moment, “you look good.”

“Mm. You don’t look so bad yourself.” You said, just to be polite.

You got your drink first. “Be a dear and do me a favor?” You glanced at him.

“Yeah?” He nodded his head, quite eagerly.

“Kiss her once for me. Make it passionate; prove you didn’t use all your good ones on me.” You walked away, the sound of your shoes hitting the floor being the only noise you could focus on.

He didn’t call out for you, nor could you hear him say anything afterward.

Later that evening, you watched as he kissed her gently on the lips under the mistletoe. You laughed drily, taking another swig of whiskey. Maybe he had no more good ones left.

A/n: first time (I think) I’ve written for Clint! Also, I didn’t want to have too much fluff in these 12 days, so expect a little angst in there every so often!

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

tomorrows hint:

Happy Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it

With a note saying "I love you", I meant it Now I know what a fool I've been

But if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again

[mobscene-launceston]

BASIC INFORMATION:

NAME: Paul Romano.   AGE: 63. PLACE OF BIRTH: Launceston, Massachusetts, United States. AFFILIATION: The Sovrani. OCCUPATION: Underboss. FACE CLAIM: Giancarlo Esposito. AVAILABILITY: OPEN.

(Warning: Mentions/themes of racism.)

“They’re never going to treat you the same, son.”

The words of his father were undoubtedly meant as a deterrent from trying.

As was so often the case with Paul Romano, however, being told that he couldn’t do something only made him more adamant to prove to himself that he could.

It was hypocritical of his father to discourage him from seeking Sovrani membership when his own position within the organisation was the reason he’d come to Launceston in the first place. Giovanni had served them back home in Rome, and had only made the transition to the States when he’d been summoned by the Auditores personally.

Paul always knew that even if he did make the cut, he had a hell of a man to live up to.

Growing up in Valence had proven to him that his father’s concerns weren’t entirely unwarranted, though. In spite of Giovanni’s reputation, he had been berated by many outside of the organisation for marrying an African-American woman. The way they’d treated his mother, Dorothy, was even worse. Even if he’d been too young to understand why back then, he understood that it just was, and Paul sure remembered wiping her tears when she returned from grocery shopping; once again victim to a racist tirade from strangers. The Sovrani weren’t perfect by any means, and there were still plenty of pieces of shit who had something to say about the person his father had fallen in love with, but for the most part, they were better than Valencian average. Not that it was saying much.

Maybe the idea that he’d have to work harder to prove himself just because of the colour of his skin should’ve been enough for him to seek out another life entirely. As a teen, coming to terms with the world he lived in, a part of him had almost been swayed away by the thought. But he remembered so clearly that night when everything changed. It was Bartolomeo himself who’d defended Paul’s mother from a Capo who had a few choice words to describe her, never to be repeated again. It could’ve been a slap on the wrist if the man had cared less. Instead, the future leader had broken legs that day. Used the power of his last name to strip the scum of his membership entirely. Paul never forgot how he’d walked the then teenager and his mother home, making sure they were all right before he left again.

And Paul never forgot that even though it was the kind of thing any decent human should’ve done, to stand up to a Capo in their world for a woman he hardly knew was not the easy choice.

It was hard not to respect the fact he’d made it anyway.

When Bartolomeo became the leader of the Sovrani, Paul had just entered his early twenties. Up until that point, his connections with the gang had been casual at best; mostly a result of his father’s involvement. The two older men had grown close over the years—the leader respected Giovanni more than almost all others—and as such, their family had attained a status where they’d always be looked after. Paul also knew that if he ever wanted to pursue joining the Sovrani seriously, all he would have to do was ask…and so he did.

Bartolomeo was the kind of man deserving of his respect.

Paul would spend the entirety of his service to him learning new reasons why.

The respect was always returned, and that was important to him. But as much as the leader respected him, he also made it abundantly clear that he trusted him, and that was solidified when Lucrezia Auditore returned from Rome, and entered his life in an absolute whirlwind.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” she’d scoffed, and her father had chuckled.

“Noted,” Paul had replied, with absolutely no intention of becoming one.

The newly minted Capo, aged forty-three, was one of the last to be appointed by Bartolomeo during his tenure. But the honour almost paled in comparison to being trusted to watch over his youngest daughter. Back then, they had clashed—albeit mostly one-sidedly, from the impossibly headstrong woman—and she sure hadn’t made teaching her how things ran in Launceston easy. Other things, though? Lucrezia made those come naturally.

Paul had fought against his feelings with all he had. Their very first argument (and back then, they had been many) he was sure he’d fallen in love with her right on the fucking spot. For a man who had often been on the receiving end of ‘why haven’t you settled down yet?’ comments from his colleagues, it was a bitter pill to swallow to know that the moment he could finally imagine himself with somebody, they were entirely out of his reach. Even if she hadn’t been married, if she hadn’t been the boss’s daughter, his father’s words still echoed. The Sovrani had accepted him, but he still wasn’t sure if they would’ve ever accepted that.  

In spite of it all, he was a professional; a master at compartmentalisation, and his feelings, to keep hold of a friendship that meant so much to him, were no different. Long had he been revered by his peers for his strength, his self-assuredness without arrogance, his level-head and his diplomacy. Paul was a credit to the Sovrani, and lifted by Bartolomeo as an example of all they could, and what they should, be. This might’ve stirred discontent amongst some of the aging conservative members, but they would die out eventually. Paul was honoured to be a herald of the change; a gateway experience for many other prospective members from a similar background.

He did so serving dutifully at her side.

Lucrezia was his best friend. He, her most trusted advisor. Together, they were formidable.

The Auditore introduced him to the woman who would eventually become his wife. Her husband, Antonio, would become one of his closest friends as the years passed them by. Soon, Alessia ascended to the throne, but as leader, much like her father, she too had entrusted a great deal to him. With only a few exceptions, aside from the Auditores and Vespuccis themselves, Paul was one of the most powerful members in the entire organisation, and he supposed, in a sense, his father had been right. They didn’t treat him the same. They treated him better.

For the majority of Alessia’s leadership, Lucrezia spent her time in Rome. It was a big shift for him, and he realised in missing her, that he hadn’t buried his feelings as well as he’d thought. Launceston had always been home for him, even if not for her, but he couldn’t help but feel it was a little emptier without her in it. That made it all the more unfortunate to be grateful for her return. He felt guilty for the happiness, the relief. Of course he wanted her back—he did every time she was gone—but not at the expense of Alessia’s life.

The sisters had always been close, in spite of the distance. Paul might’ve been Lucrezia’s confidant, one of the very few she would allow herself to be vulnerable around, but even he was at a loss at how to guide her through the pain. Not only was the Auditore family reeling, the Sovrani was also grieving the loss of arguably its most important and beloved leader to date. Paul found himself divide between trying to help the woman he loved, and desperately holding together the Launceston arm of the gang as the Russians began to wage an all-out assault on their existence.

But Lucrezia was strong. Perhaps more so than anybody ever gave her credit for.

Bartolomeo returned to leadership in the wake of Alessia’s death, but he knew that his daughter would be ready to step up to the plate eventually.

“I want you to be there at her side, Paul.”

“That’ll be her decision, not ours.”

But throughout the hushed conversations, Bartolomeo knew she wouldn’t choose anybody else.

When Lucrezia approached him, shortly ahead of her initiation as the Sovrani’s new leader, she had done so with a look in her eyes that wasn’t familiar to him. Not from her. Paul had witnessed leaders in the city tear themselves apart trying to avenge their losses, and with the status she was about to obtain, she would have the means to become one of them. Much like Bartolomeo had anticipated, she wanted Paul to become her underboss. And much like Bartolomeo had anticipated, he hadn’t hesitated to accept. Not only would she need somebody she trusted at her side, she would need the only person that had the ability to talk her down from doing something stupid.

The only person who had the ability to tell her no, and be heard.

Whilst his mother might’ve been opposed to this life for him in the beginning, Paul knows that both of his parents are looking down on him, immensely proud of all he has achieved.

And he’s not going to start disappointing them by fucking up now.  

SOCIAL CONNECTIONS:

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Angela Romano (wife) FAMILY: Giovanni and Dorothy Romano (parents, deceased), Giovanni Romano (son, unplayable), Anna, Lucia Romano (daughters, unplayable) CONNECTIONS:

Allegra Vespucci: Old friend. With the exception of Lucrezia, Allegra is without a doubt his dearest friend. Many find her attitude to be abrasive, and perhaps he's just learnt how to deal with it better, but they always got along like a house on fire. Her move to London was unfortunate, but it's not as though their friendship hasn't survived worse. Paul made sure to let her know she better plan on coming home to visit, because he has no intention of setting foot in London.

Antonio D'Agostino: Good friend. Conventional wisdom might have one assuming the two would never see eye-to-eye, but it simply isn't the case. Paul isn't jealous of his marriage, not as long as he makes Lucrezia happy, and he would never try to paint the man a villain to justify anything else. Their two families are close, their children are friends, and the man has become as much a staple in his life as Lucrezia. There are few he trusts more. Genuinely.

Joey Sambuco: Friend. Much as he was for the others, during the aftermath of Alessia's death, in spite of his own grief, Paul was a shoulder for Joey. The man's feelings for her were practically common knowledge, and he supposed he could relate to that. Whilst they weren't particularly close beforehand, they certainly bonded during this time, and Paul is glad to call him a friend; particularly as they now work side-by-side in their respective positions within the Sovrani.

Simona Infascelli: Good friend. Though she is the polar opposite of him in almost every way (most notably, about as hot-headed as they come) the two have always balanced each other out nicely. Paul was responsible for pushing for her to be made Capo by Alessia, and it was because she deserved it. So far as the Russians are concerned, Paul can't help but worry when his people have to face them. But not Simona. Never her. There, it's the Russians who should worry.

[acourtofthought]

I wish people stopped defending Nesta and making others look like the bad guys, just because Elain, Feyre, and the others realized they couldn’t do the work for Nesta, she had to do it herself.

And it’s disrespectful too, because, I’m sorry, but, even if the IC and Elain didn’t walk to talk to Nesta anymore, they’d have every right.

No one’s saying Nesta is evil or doesn’t deserve happiness, but what she did is messed up, no matter her reasons. She can find happiness with new friends, even old ones and family if they want to forgive her, but they shouldn’t be forced to.

I have experience with this, and reading Nesta’s lines reminds me of my own trauma at the hands of someone who treated me like she did Feyre, the IC, later Elain, and justified it with their problems.

You guys have no idea how it fucks you up.

So, please, be mindful. I respect having the strength to support Nesta and wanting to be by her side, but be respectful to the damages the behaviour of people like her causes.

So much yes to what you said.

I'm thrilled Nesta has begun to find her people and her happiness but.....

If someone feels that Nesta did not owe any of the characters anything because of her trauma, despite what they may have done for her (especially Feyre), then why should Elain have owed Nesta anything despite what Nesta may have done for her? Why did Rhys owe Nesta respect? Why did Cassian owe Nesta his patience and kindness?

If the narrative is that no one owes anyone anything because of their trauma then why are we only extending that to Nesta but no one else as they all had trauma?

Feyre kept Nesta alive for years yet Nesta was allowed to verbally lash out at her and take her money without even bothering to want to see her. That's Feyre doing things for Nesta and Nesta not treating her well and people saying that was alright because Nesta was struggling.

So why should Elain have to do anything for Nesta just because Nesta did something for her (and really what did Nesta do for her? Sit quietly by her side while Elain personally pushed her way through the worst of her own trauma with no real help from anyone)? Not to mention that was her trauma from being Made and losing Graysen. What about the trauma Elain had from being kidnapped a second time? Having to stab a man? Her fathers death? Regardless of what anyone thinks, Elain is still struggling with her trauma too, she's not 100% fine.

I'm not even saying Elain did nothing because it is canon that she did reach out to Nesta and Nesta shut her down. Nesta told her that she did not want to be around her and I'm sorry but that doesn't really feel good to hear so why would Elain continue reaching out to Nesta only to be told "go away, my life doesn't include you?" Did Elain seem like she was in a place to deal with more rejection? But still, just because someone does something for you doesn't mean you're obligated to do something for them.

And of course the IC didn't ship Elain off somewhere, what reason would there have been for that? She wasn't wasting their money, she wasn't partaking in anything dangerous, she wasn't being disrespectful to them. She was basically an extra piece of furniture in their house. They worried about her but she wasn't causing problems for them or their Court.

And why are we placing the blame on the other characters for not knowing what Nesta needed? They tried to be nice and include her. That didn't work. They tried to give her space and money she wasn't even earning at that point so she could hopefully work it out herself. That didn't work. They finally put their foot down and gave her one of two options (or Nesta could have chosen to go off on her own and make her own money if she wanted) and we have the characters still getting blamed for that even though it was the thing that set Nesta on the path of her healing. If Nesta spoke up and said, "this is what I need, can you help me?" and truly meant it (and not just a "I refuse to do that because I want to keep living in my slummy apartment and using your money to drink and gamble!") but they ignored her and said, "No!" then people would have a valid reason to be angry at the IC. But after a year, after Nesta shot down their attempts at including her, after Nesta showed no signs of getting better on her own, and them moving on to the next thing to try which got all the hate it did, I think people expect too much from the IC and not enough from Nesta herself. And yes, of course Elain hoped that Nesta had gotten better. That's usually what happens when you send somewhat of an addict to rehab and one of the doctors says "I think this has been helping!" as Cassian told her he thought it was. 😂 Would it have made more sense for Elain to arrive at the HOW and say, "This doesn't surprise me, I expected no progress from you."

How dare Elain be optimistic that she might have improved, WHAT A BITCH. 🤦

I also have a Nesta in my life and honestly, I'm thankful to see a story where everyone is finding their happiness because that's not the way my version has gone. And it is one of the constant stressors in my life because of the constant judgement, gaslighting, and jealousy coming at me.

But I am glad for any real life Nesta who made it to the other side and was able to repair their broken relationships as well as love themselves. But it does anger me when there's no responsibility placed on character Nesta while blaming the IC or the sisters for everything wrong in her life.

[nonhumen]

a comprehensive list of dazai's bonds within the port mafia (because despite what dazai would have you believe, he has a lot of them)

tw for drug abuse, child abuse, self harm, and suicide

mori: i've already spoke at length about how dazai views mori here, but he is the closest thing dazai has to a father figure. he'll never admit it, mind you, and it's not a healthy relationship in the slightest. but he also cannot deny that mori is the man who pretty much raised him. dazai is essentially mori's heir since he sees a lot of himself in dazai and so has taken to teaching him how to be more like him so dazai can one day rule the port mafia. that also means that dazai committing suicide is not an option and so has made sure to keep dazai dependent on him. for starters, he is the only one to ever treat dazai's wounds and so is the one person intimately aware of his exposed body (no, i do not believe mori ever sexually assaulted him and that is not a line i am willing to cross). secondly, mori would give him uncontrolled doses of pavinal to get dazai addicted. as his doctor, mori is the only one allowed to administer the opioid to dazai which in turn keeps dazai reliant on him for the drug.

odasaku: HIS BEST FRIEND. at first curious about him because of his ideals of never killing anyone despite his bloody ledger, dazai found that oda is another person he feels he can connect with. this is mainly because oda doesn't scold him or shy away from dazai's suicidal mania. that ease of being himself around him is why dazai values oda's presence. in time, as they became drinking buddies, it turned into a friendship transcending hierarchal boundaries. though oda is older, dazai is his boss and so there is a mutual respect between them. unfortunately, dazai is unable to put words to the bonds between human beings and does not realize that he could call oda his friend until it was too late. this is a platonic love, maybe even a brotherly love on oda's side (dazai is so emotionally stunted that he does not know the nuisances of different types of love at this point).

ango: HIS OTHER BEST FRIEND. ango definitely acts as a big brother to dazai more openly than oda does despite him being the second youngest of the trio. while he is definitely one to scold dazai about his morbid antics but i think that mutual respect and interest between them softens the blow. plus, they are both agents who deal in information and so have probably worked together closely on mafia operations before. he opens up to ango initially because oda is there to mediate whenever their personalities clash. same as with oda, their relationship grows into a comfortable friendship when they become regular drinking buddies. on the flip side, ango is the first true betrayal dazai has ever felt in his life which is why he holds such a deep grudge against him compared, say, mori. but their shared pain in the loss of oda is the thread that ultimately keeps their friendship intact. ango is the only one to know where dazai was during his two years in hiding and the only one to have seen him during his opioid detox.

chuuya: i have also written at length about how important chuuya is to dazai here so i will try to keep this short. chuuya is his partner, his first friend, the first person to ever make him feel something besides the hollowness in his heart. their entire relationship is built on absolute trust, which is something dazai had to learn how to even do. because of this, chuuya is the first one dazai chose to reveal parts about himself to. whereas mori basically forces dazai to open his heart to him, dazai actively chooses to allow chuuya to see him and the depths of his despair. chuuya is also the first person dazai's age that he ever felt connected to and the first friend he ever had. he loves him, though dazai cannot pinpoint when this happened because he is so unaware of his own feelings. it is only after he leaves the port mafia that he realizes he has romantic feelings for chuuya.

akutagawa: their relationship is very similar to dazai and mori's except dazai is now in the mentor role. because of his upbringing as mori's pupil, dazai doesn't know how to be kind in his teaching methods. he is physically and mentally abusive to akutagawa and, while this doesn't condone his actions, he believes himself in the right because he warned him that he would not be kind. but i do believe it all comes from a place of caring. he sees great potential in rashomon as an ability and believes akutagawa and become a great asset for the mafia is he only learned to not attack on sight. it is why the only time dazai validates him is after he worked with atsushi against the guild. this is a one-sided love. dazai is very aware of akutagawa's fanaticism for him and uses this to his advantage to heel his subordinate when he needs to but will never return akutagawa's feelings.

yumeno / q: yumeno is dazai's first foray into taking care of a child and it goes horribly wrong. unlike akutagawa who dazai found after learning to feel more emotions, yumeno is result of a very young dazai being put in charge of another life. yumeno ends up serving as a sort of experiment for dazai about the human mind. this is around the same time mori is filling dazai's head with texts about game theory and so he tests a lot of the social science aspects out on yumeno. he analyzes the human heart by pulling theirs apart, seeing how far he can use them before their mind breaks. of course, no one stops him or tells him that his treatment of yumeno is wrong. if anything, mori actively encourages dazai to continue learning through his abuse. in the end, their mind does break and dazai is forced to seal them away. he feels no compassion for them as they were only something to be studied.

elise: this one is actually kinda cute. i see elise as a little sister to dazai, especially during his early years in the mafia when he stuck by mori's side more often. they get into arguments a lot about little things and so is also someone who brings out dazai's childish side. they bond over complaining about mori and you can't take this away from me. their relationship thins when dazai becomes an executive and gets more responsibilities.

kouyou: they know each other by association more than any meaningful connection. she is not someone dazai can connect with and is very quiet around her until she ends up taking chuuya under her wing. when his personality grows, he is familiar enough with kouyou to want to annoy her as he does with those he likes to keep at arm's length. this is where calling her ane-san comes from after hearing her distaste for the title when chuuya calls her that. when he becomes an executive, dazai does end up working more closely with her and becomes one of the few people who see both the childish and dark sides of the demon of the port mafia.

[kalianos]

Okay on break.

Just hand rolled a character yesterday to get used to Mongoose Traveller 2e rules.

End result. Went SoL human instead of the anthro wolf, lion, insect, camel-ey taur, dolphin (with robot exo suits) , Orca (with robot exo suits), human but middle eastern, human but psychic, hivemind plant and Bwap. ..Bwaps are silly lizard people.

So, rolled 2d6 for the first four stats, then 3d6 drop the lowest for the last two. Optional rule. The numbers on the upper left are the ones plugged into each state in order from the start.

Went from 18 to 38 years old. Originally wanted to just be a better working ship breaker yards or mining asteroids. But we had a good edu stat so figured...let's go to uni! Started her base skills to be like she was born on a ranch so gained animals general skill with a specialization in Vetinary. Along with I believe medic for treating people...for game purposes. Thought maybe a physician or medic?

Got into Uni, gave her skills in administration 0 (good with paperwork) and advocate 1 (a pretty good lawyer basically) while at Uni she experienced romance! That ended so badly she now has a rival! (Rivals will legally try to screw you over and bring you down. Enemies want to fucking kill you, destroy your name and reputation and salt your fields)

Decided rival instead of enemy. But even though her bad relationship was downer, still managed a Edu roll of 11. Do graduated with Honors!

So with that bonus and with her skills. Risked it to becoming a merchant!

And in her first career after four years she didn't make her survival roll...with a +1 to Edu.

Got a mishap roll of 5. The imperium has restricted your trade and business so badly you got forced out of business.

Probably that bad romance from yni coming back to haunt her. But this mishap had a special condition! Free access to the rogue career! :D

...so she went from respectable honors graduate business woman to now being...A PIRATE TO GET REVENGE ON THE CORRUPT IMPERIUM FOR SCREWING HER OVER!

Still got 1 benefit roll and managed to get 30k in cash. Could word that is what she got away with before becoming a pirate.

Quick overview of the next 12 years of her life.

And was surprisingly successful. Pulled off two impressive crimes through planning (two terms getting 4 as the life event)

Throughout this we gained skills as remote ops, gun combat, vacc. Suits., pilot didn't decide what kind yet, ironically steward for serving high class passengers from being a free trader.

And from 32 onward managed to make aging rolls to avoid losing physical stats. Pirate life keeps her strong. However she now has enemies.

Cashed out, left the pirate life behind. With some armor, some cash, enough intelligence gain to turn that -2 into a -1. And still having a social status of 10. So familiar with higher society.

To summarize, she went off to uni from growing up with animals on some low-tech level backwater. Graduated with honors from Space University, tried to become a successful merchant, but got forced into becoming a pirate by the government and spent twelve years terrorizing corporate interests untill she "retired" to go with some friends to travel the galaxy on more adventures.

Welcome to Traveller character creation. I thought she was just going to be a miner.

Oh right has a +1 in gambler so she has extra benefit rolls...

Maybe later.

[liamxbryne]

basic information

Age— 45 (08/13) Originally from—  Dublin, Ireland Previous job— Legionnaire - Captain Community job— Hunter / Outside security Living Arrangements —A cabin niched between the woods and the training yard / joined dec 2039 , left june 2042 , returned april 2043

Liam Bryne was born in Dublin to a modest family. His father was a teacher and his mother worked at a hotel nearby. His younger years, he spent a lot in the places nobody knew about at the hotel and the people there became some sort of extended family to him. There were no tragic events in his youth, and while he was not the best at school, he managed to stay away from most troubles. This would end when at 18 , his parents died in a car accident. It had been a harsh winter, the road was slippery, the car fell down a ravine. Liam survived but endured being with his parents for more than a day. He realized at the hospital how alone he was, how fast life could end and how lost he was. It took months for him to figure out what to do and get out of the grief enough to think of a future. He sold the house, he sold everything, and left. While Dublin had given him life, it had also taken his family, thus becoming a tomb to him.

He roamed through Europe for a while, trying to forget the accident, the smells, the pain. Liam tried to heal, but it seemed like the more he pushed it all away, the more it ate him. It came to the point where he decided to knock on that fateful iron gate in Paris. The emblem on the gate read “légion étrangère”  (foreign legion).  He had listened to people talking about it and felt compelled to give it a try. Their reputation was worldwide, respected and maybe feared by many, he did find a way in being a legionnaire. The training was intense to the point of him feeling physically sick, but it was also cathartic. For the first time since his family died, he felt like he belonged to this unit, brothers in arms. He would finish top of his class and go become a paratrooper.

By the time the virus hit, Liam acting captain was on a mission in South America. From the company a lot died within the first hours of contact. Long months followed; the orders last in were to go up to Canada. He was honestly not sure they would make it. In the end, only two remained by his side: Tessa and Brady. The trio eventually stumbled on Penny when Liam was wounded by savagers attacking. Even though he was injured, he put a lot of them down before collapsing. A fever struck and they stumbled on Redwood just in time to treat him. Showing the tough nature of being a Legionnaire, he was up and running before he should have. Honestly, he found hope in Redwood, and after discussing it with Tessa and Brady, they agreed that there wasn’t anyone to return to , probably. The radio had been still for a long time. So they joined, as hunters and protectors of the civilians.

They were on a hunting trip when the reavers attacked but managed still come back to defend Redwood. A lot of blood was shed by the legionnaires on that day, who then proceeded to give them a burial themselves. Liam disagreed with a lot of the Beckett’s decisions but kept his anger at bay thanks to Penny. That , sadly only lasted until a night around a bonefire and a revelation that would push him off a wrong end. After a violent fight with her, the day after, he decided to leave, not giving any explanation, not even to David with whom he had bonded closely. In fact, he left things sour with a lot of people as he left. Tessa decided to join him, while Brady decided to remain. It has been months now, but it seems that a familiar face is to make a return to Redwood.

Headcanons

Fluent in French, speaks it with Tessa and Brady . Uses it also for commands for Juno

Juno, his 2 years old malinois female has been trained by him to detect the dead, hunt and for biting. She is also impressive with jumping

Has anger issues linked to a possible PTSD but has found peace and calming techniques

Legionnaire to the bone and lives by its values

has large scars on his back , and one near his abdomen when he was wounded by savages

[scaryghcsts]

(CHRISTINA  RICCI  +  CIS  WOMAN  +  SHE  /  HER  )     ⸻     meet   IVY  ABERNATHY.   the  crime  novelist  /  investigative  reporter  at  glen  ellen  news  station  is  glen  ellen's  very  own   BLABBER  MOUTH,   who  has  been  in  town  for  thirteen  years.  and  while  they  are  only  forty  two,    they  can  be  very   PRESUMPTUOUS  but  if  their  friends  mentioned  them,    you'd  think  they  were  more  SERIOUS.   in  a  town  where  everyone  knows  everyone,    it's  hard  to  keep  a  secret,     but  i  think  the  killer  knows  that  [ REDACTED ],     and  it's  bound  to  get  out  sometime  soon.

basics:

traits: aspiring, nosy, stubborn, motivated, organized, efficient, dramatic, fierce, healthy, logical, meddlesome, principled, paranoid, zealous, intense.

relationship status: divorced.

sexuality: heterosexual

religion: semi-practicing christian

date of birth:  april 10th

zodiac sign:  an aries

skills & hobbies: snooping, writing, crafting, christmas (all holidays, really), soccer, spending time with family && friends, being on camera, gossiping, fancy dinners out, sex on the beach martinis, dogs, community theater.

dislikes & fears: {redacted}... but include passive people, her children failing, her secrets being found out, and losing her job.

quirks: cannot (or won't) keep a secret, never apologies seriously, struggles to say ' i love you ', never slows down for even a second.

residence: four bedroom home in a pretty nice area of town, probably in a smaller housing complex of similiar, boring tan & white homes, fence in the backyard. the dogs have their own bedroom to themselves.

pets: two large dogs that she treats as kindly as she does her children.

family: sisters (2), children (2) - in their teens, parents deceased.

inspirations: gale weathers, rita skeeter, allison hendrix

backstory:

born & raised in small town wisconsin, total snooze fest, and she always struggled to make friends on the boring block in boring, usa. her words. she turned to books, both reading && writing, to pass the time, and found love in all things mystery.

she also craved attention, staring in every single production she could. as soon as she was able, she moved away to new york city, where she met the man who would later become her husband. among her many dreams in the city were to either become a model, an actress, get hired to a beauty company, or start her own production business. none of this worked out, and after struggling for two years in the city, she decided to accept her parents offer to attend college instead of barely making it. they paid her way through her journalism degree, but only if she minored in business.

college was a bore and it zapped a lot of her love for life, and she struggled with stress for the duration of it. as soon as she graduated, she was wed again, and whisked off along with her husband for his work until they established themselves, eventually, a couple of years later in glen ellen 13 years ago.

she has two teenage children, 14 and 17 respectively.

she divorced her husband only a couple of years into living in glen ellen - she caught him cheating, and she left, with little drama. they co-parent well. the marriage had died long before his infidelity, anyway, and honestly, ivy wasn't the most attentive wife...

somewhere in all of the hustle && bustle of life, ivy lost her enthusiasm, and struggles to relax, always so tense.

she has published three books in the last decade, the latter of them being in the last 5 years alone, and she is working currently on her 4th. all are original crime novels... so she claims...

wanted connections:

to be added too...

ex husband (44-49 years old)

fellow pta parents/neighborhood parents

co-workers at the news station

informants

gossipy, judgey gal pals that get brunch every sunday

a fan of her books

fellow community theater nerds

book club??