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scary-grace · 3 months ago

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Best Practice - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Taking the night shift at a 24-7 emergency vet hospital isn't for the faint of heart, and you've seen a lot of crazy things. But on one particular shift, it's Tenko Shimura and his service dog who make the biggest impression on you. a silly little fic I wrote while I was at the emergency vet with my dog. No quirks AU, volunteer!reader, pet owner!Shigaraki, Mon-chan lives (and so do any other animals mentioned in this fic). 3.9k words.

The waiting room sounds like hell in a handbasket, but give that this is the only 24/7 emergency vet in the prefecture, that’s not a surprise. You’ve been volunteering here since you got out of school, and there’s never been an overnight shift where things haven’t been completely unhinged. Cats yowling. Dogs barking. Rodents squeaking and birds trilling back and one enormous monitor lizard that’s going berserk inside its crate, scaring every other animal in the same bank of seats. But as bad as the pets are, they’re nowhere near as bad as the owners.

In the five years you’ve been volunteering here, you’ve seen probably thousands of people come in with their sick and injured pets, and none of them come in at their best. Nobody’s at their best when they’re scared or sad, and having to wait and watch as other pets are triaged and brought back from exams. You still have your vet tech certification left over from before you went to school, so you know how to take vitals and do basic assessments, but your real job on every shift is to manage the owners. Some nights it’s easier than others.

Tonight isn’t one of those nights. In addition to half a dozen pets already in the exam rooms, there’s a couple and their two kids with their elderly cat, all four of whom look like they’re hanging by a thread. In the back corner, there are a couple of kids who rescued a tanuki that got hit by a car. They’re also hanging by a thread, and probably in need of a few preemptive vaccinations to boot. The guy with the monitor lizard is making everybody nervous. People keep filtering in and out, getting stat-triaged or sent to the waiting room, and with every person who gets called back, the guy your age with the corgi who’s been here for four hours loses his temper a little bit more.

You feel like you should check in with him, but one thing and another keeps you busy, and nobody points you his way until one of the dads from the cat family catches your attention. “Hey, not to bother you, I know you’re busy –”

“How long have you been waiting?” you ask at once. “Has Snow White’s condition changed at all?”

“No, she’s about the same, but –” The blond man nods towards the bank of chairs across from his family. “Can you get a handle on that guy? He’s scaring my kids, and my husband’s this close to breaking his nose.”

You take a second look at Corner Guy – or Corgi Guy, if you go by the dog. Corner Guy is your age, skinny, with messy blue hair under an oversized hoodie. His clothes are old, but the blanket he’s wrapped the corgi in is new, and clean. With the dog bundled up that way, you can’t see what’s wrong, but it’s resting quietly in its owner’s arms. Every so often, it twists around to lick his face.

The dog is cute, but Corner Guy’s middle-distance death stare isn’t, and the blond man’s husband and kids are right in his eyeline. The least you can do is give him someone else to glare at. You make your way over and park yourself in the seat right across from him. “Hi. Have you been triaged yet?”

Corner Guy’s mouth, scarred at one corner, twists into a sneer. “What do you think?”

“How long has it been since somebody checked in with you?” you ask. You get a death stare all your own in response. “I’m sorry about the wait. If you tell me how long it’s been I might be able to hurry things along.”

“Checked in with me? I checked in. They took my money and told me to wait.” Corner Guy’s voice takes on a note of bitterness. “These people are idiots. I heard them, over there – their dog got hit by a car this morning and they’re just now coming in? Their dog gets to see the vet first because they were stupid and I wasn’t?”

You get this kind of thing a lot. You also get the sense that Corner Guy won’t appreciate being told how triage works. You deliberately turn your attention to the corgi in its blanket. “Who’s this?”

“Her name’s Mon.”

“Can I say hi?” you ask. Corner Guy nods, and you reach out to scratch Mon’s ears. She gives your hand a good sniff with a cold, wet nose before she lets you pet her, and as soon as you touch her, you can tell by the softness of her fur that she’s well cared-for. “What a sweetheart. How old is she?”

“Three.”

“Still a baby, huh?” You can’t help slipping into puppy voice. You got over being embarrassed about that a long time ago. “What brings you two in tonight?”

“At the stupid pet store. Some asshole ran her foot over with his cart, and she’s been crying –” Corner Guy’s eat-shit expression shifts into misery. “The cashier said to come here, so I did. And I’ve just been sitting here, and I know she’s in pain – and everybody and their cat gets to see the vet before Mon does.”

Now you get why the blond guy’s husband wants to break Corner Guy’s nose. “Can I see her paw? Which one is it?”

“Front one. On the right.” Corner Guy unwraps the blanket, careful not to jostle Mon, but she whimpers anyway. “Sorry. Sorry –”

“Okay, sweetie. Can I see your paw?” You forgot how short corgi legs are. There’s a risk that the cart got more than just her paw. “Oof, okay. That looks like it really hurts. How long ago did that happen?”

“Four hours.”

So he really did come straight here. “What happens if she tries to put weight on it?”

“She hasn’t,” Corner Guy says. “I picked her up when it happened, and, uh – I didn’t put her down again.”

“And you wrapped her up. That’s good,” you say. “If she hasn’t moved it around a lot, it’s a lot less likely to get displaced. How long ago did it stop bleeding?”

Corner Guy shrugs. The blanket has a decent-sized stain, but the stain looks like it’s drying. “Okay,” you say. “I’m going to go talk to the doctors and see if I can get one to come out and take a look at her. They might tell you it’s better to be treated by your regular vet, if you can get an appointment –”

“I made one for tomorrow,” Corner Guy says. “I wanted to see if she could get, like – dog Advil or something. I know she’s hurt even if she’s not crying.”

“Oh.” That’s a lot quicker than a cast and x-rays, and the vets on duty will be really happy to hear that Corner Guy has a vet appointment lined up already. “Hang on. I’ll be right back.”

You confirm it with the front desk, then come back with the good news. “I can take her back right now and the vet will do a quick exam. Then they’ll do a splint and some painkillers, and that should get you through to tomorrow. Sound okay?”

Corner Guy hesitates. “You’re going to take her away?”

“It’s kind of busy back in the exam rooms, so we have the owners wait out here.”

“No,” Corner Guy says. “She’s my service dog. I have to come too.”

“Service dog?” You’ve never seen a service corgi before, but when Corner Guy folds back the blanket, you see that Mon’s wearing a vest, with a seal on it that you recognize. That organization trains service dogs specifically for PTSD. “Okay. Right. So maybe it’s best if you carry her.”

Corner Guy follows you through the packed waiting room and past the authorized personnel only doors. It occurs to you that you’ve forgotten something. “I got Mon’s name. What’s yours?”

“Shimura,” Corner Guy says. “Shimura Tenko.”

Shimura Tenko settles down a lot once you get him and Mon into an exam room. People usually calm down when their pet finally gets some medical attention, but Shimura looks like he’s doing more than just calming down – his face is pale and his hands are shaking, and Mon starts squirming in his arms, letting out little whines as she tries to reposition. She’s still at work, even though she’s hurt. You hesitate a second, then step in. “I can help turn her. Where’s she trying to go?”

He doesn’t answer, but you’ve seen service dogs from this organization before, and you know what they usually do to help their handlers. You help Mon rotate from sprawled in Shimura’s lap to a more upright position, and she lays her head on his chest, over his heart. It takes a few moments, but you see Tenko begin to relax.

“Are you two going to be okay in here for a second?” You don’t get a nod, but you also don’t get a no, and you duck out onto the treatment floor in search of one of the vets on call.

The first vet you encounter is Dr. Fukukado, which is what you were hoping for. She’s got the best bedside manner. You wait for her to sign the discharge paperwork on the parakeets she was treating, the make your case. “I have a patient in Exam 10. Her paw got run over by a shopping cart and it looks pretty bad.”

“Poor thing.” Dr. Fukukado’s mouth turns down at the corners. “That would be a stat if we weren’t so busy –”

“She’s a service dog,” you interrupt as politely as possible. “From New Horizons.”

“PTSD. How’s her handler doing?”

“Not great,” you say. You feel confident in that one. “They were waiting for a while. I thought he was just being a jerk, but once I brought them back here he sort of –”

Collapsed is probably too strong, but you’re too tired to come up with the clinical terminology. Sometimes after a night at the emergency vet, you forget that you even have a day job, let alone that it’s as a social worker. “Okay. Here’s what we’ll do,” Dr. Fukukado says. “I’ll add my name to his case and get in there as quickly as possible. In the meantime, you stick with them. Try to keep them both calm. Triage should be thinning out soon.”

Hopefully. It’s two am. You stick around long enough for Dr. Fukukado to add her name to the chart, then head back to Exam 10. Mon and Shimura haven’t moved. “Hi,” you say. “I’ve got some good news. The doctor’s put her name on Mon’s chart, so she’s next in line. Is there anything I can do to help in the meantime?”

Shimura Tenko doesn’t answer. You notice that his lips are really dry. “I can get water if you want it, or something else to drink. We have a coffee machine, so there’s tea, coffee, mochas, cappuccinos, hot chocolate –”

“That.”

Okay. He’s talking. “Gotcha. One hot chocolate, coming right up.”

You pick your way through the waiting room, checking on a few new patients in the mean time. You stop by the family with the cat to make sure they’re all right, cast a wary eye at the guy with the lizard, quickly triage a pair of kittens someone brought it, and grab Tenko’s hot chocolate. You’ve hit first-name terms with him in your head. That’s – not normal.

When you get back to the exam room, Tenko looks like he’s doing a little better. More color in his face, at least. “I thought you weren’t coming back.”

“No, I just got a bit held up.” You hand over the hot chocolate and watch him take a sip. His hands aren’t shaking as badly as before. “How are you two doing?”

“Her foot’s still messed up.” Tenko takes another sip. “It’s my fault.”

“It can feel like that sometimes, but I bet it wasn’t,” you say. “Somebody ran her foot over. That wasn’t you.”

“I shouldn’t have put her down.” Tenko’s voice flattens. “I know I carry her too much. She wants to walk. I thought she might want to walk around in there. If I hadn’t put her down she wouldn’t have gotten hurt, so it’s my fault.”

“Letting your dog walk around is a reasonable thing to do,” you counter. “Not looking where you’re going and hitting somebody else’s dog with your cart isn’t. That person’s the problem, not you.”

“I’ve only had her for two months,” Tenko says. His voice pulls tight. “They’re going to take her away.”

“We see service dogs in here a lot,” you say. “Nobody comes to take them away. Everybody knows accidents happen. This was definitely an accident.”

Tenko doesn’t answer. He takes a few sips of hot chocolate, and Mon picks her head up to snuffle the cup. “Hey. No. That’s bad for you.” Mon gives the bottom of the cup an exploratory lick. “We have treats at home. If I let you have this she’ll think I’m a moron.”

“I’d have a hard time saying no to her,” you say. You sit down one chair away from him. “If you hadn’t told me you got her two months ago, I never would have guessed. You guys seem really bonded already.”

“Yeah.” Tenko adjusts his grip on her. He’s quieter when he speaks again. “I feel like shit right now. She knows to work when I get upset, but I don’t want her to get upset and worry about me when she’s hurt. So then I get upset because I’m making her work, and – yeah.”

“She’ll feel better if you let her help you,” you say. You’re confident in that one. “My dog does, anyway.”

“You have a service dog? Where is it?”

“She’s a therapy dog,” you say. Tenko gives you a suspicious look. “Not an ESA. She and I did a bunch of extra training and I take her on visits to places – hospitals, schools, libraries, that kind of thing. When we’re not on visits, she’s a pet. An incredibly spoiled pet.”

“Do you have a picture?”

People with sick pets don’t usually ask about your pet. Then again, you don’t usually tell people with sick pets that you’ve got one, too. “Yeah. Um, here. That’s her.”

Tenko glances at your phone, and to your shock, he cracks a smile. “People must go crazy for her on visits. There was a golden in team training when I went through. Everybody wanted him but me.”

You should keep Tenko talking anyway – it’s best practice – but you also really want to know. “How does it work, getting matched with a dog? Do they let you pick?”

Tenko shakes his head. “You work with a bunch of different dogs in the first week. They’re all trained like Mon is. The trainers want to see which one you click with. Mon was the third one I worked with.”

“And you got along right away?”

“She kept getting in trouble.” There’s a note of pride in Tenko’s voice, and it only takes you a moment to understand why. “Even when she was working with other people, she kept pulling to get back to me.”

“She picked you out,” you say, and Tenko nods. He’s smiling slightly again. “I can tell you guys have something really special. And that you take really good care of her.”

Mon finally quits trying to get into the hot chocolate and settles back with her head against Tenko’s chest. Tenko glances at you. “What do you do here, anyway? I’ve been watching you run around all night and I still can’t figure it out.”

“I’m a patient support specialist,” you explain. “I can do triage, but mainly I try to help people get through pet emergencies in one piece. It gets kind of hard in here.”

“Whatever they pay you, it’s not enough.”

“I don’t get paid,” you say. “I volunteer.”

Tenko looks surprised. “You do this for free?”

Before you can answer, someone bangs on the door. You jump, but it startles Tenko enough that he spills some hot chocolate on his hand, which Mon promptly slurps up. You open the door, ready to give hell to whoever spooked them both. “Hey, can you keep it down?”

“Sorry. Fukukado said you were in here, and –” Tamaki leans against the doorframe, breathing hard. “You know the monitor lizard? It’s, uh – not.”

“What is it, then?”

“We don’t really know,” Tamaki says. “But it got out.”

Oh. “Anybody who’s not with a patient has to go help,” Tamaki says. “Like now.”

You are with a patient. You glance at Tenko, who looks ever so slightly entertained. “Me and Mon aren’t going anywhere,” he says. “Go get your lizard.”

You get to your feet. “Sit tight. I’ll be back soon.”

You aren’t back soon. You’re back an hour later, bruised and tired, your hand wrapped in an ice pack and an ace bandage. You make the mistake of knocking on the door to Exam 10 with it, and you get a shock when Tenko opens the door rather than just hollering for you to come in. He’s not carrying Mon, and you ask where he is at the same moment as he asks you a question of his own. “What happened to you?”

“Is Mon okay?”

“They brought her a bed and some pain stuff.” Tenko opens the door to show you, and you spot Mon on the exam table in a dog bed, swaddled in a blanket and so doped up on painkillers that she can barely keep her eyes open. “They’re gonna do x-rays later. Did you get the lizard?”

“It got me,” you say. Tenko’s eyes widen as he studies your bandaged hand. “And it wasn’t a lizard.”

“What was it, then – a dragon?”

“A Komodo dragon,” you say. “But close.”

“Aren’t those things supposed to be giant?” Tenko says. “How did that guy fit it in that box?”

“This one was a juvenile. Is a juvenile. We didn’t hurt it or anything.” You don’t think any of you were capable of hurting it. It was running circles around you. “It’s still really big. And fast.’

“And it took you guys an hour to catch it,” Tenko muses. “I was wondering what all the yelling was about.”

You and the others were really trying to keep the yelling to a minimum. You wince. “We had to find it first, and once we did, we had to catch it – but it was really aggressive, so it started biting, and then it got away again. Rinse and repeat about ten times.”

Tenko snickers. “I wish I could have seen it. More of it than I did, anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“I cracked the door open. Some guy was chasing it down the hall,” Tenko says. “It was pretty funny when it started chasing him back the other way.”

Dr. Sorahiko is the oldest vet in the ER, and he’s gotten kind of mean in his old age. You don’t feel bad for laughing. “You’re probably going to see the rest of it on TikTok or something. Or on the news. They showed up when Animal Control did.”

“Does that kind of thing happen a lot around here?”

“No,” you say. “Usually when we have a wild night, it’s a different kind of wild.”

“So no bites from a giant lizard,” Tenko says. You shake your head. “You and Mon match now. Maybe we can get two x-rays for the price of one.”

You smile at the thought, then remember something the front desk told you to pass along. “They’re discounting services for everybody tonight, because of the – disruption. Even if Mon gets x-rays and a splint and everything, you’ll probably only get charged the exam fee.”

“Good.” Tenko looks relieved. “Mon gets whatever she needs, when she needs it, but I was gonna be eating instant ramen for a month so I could make rent.”

“A lot of people who bring their pets in here say stuff like that.” You prop your bitten hand against your shoulder to elevate it. The bite didn’t break the skin, but it still hurts a lot. “That’s part of why I like being here. People are awful in outpatient.”

“They’re awful here, too. I sucked.”

“You weren’t even close to the worst person I’ve talked to,” you say. You remember a guy whose dog needed a leg amputation telling you he’d break your neck if she died on the operating table. He got kicked out, but the vets still operated on his dog, and as far as you know, she made a full recovery. “But people here — they aren’t being assholes just because they can. They’re really worried about their animals, because they care about them so much, and I’ve never seen somebody handle that well without help. If I ever have to bring my dog in here, I’ll be a wreck just like everyone else.”

“Worse than everybody else,” Tenko says. You glance at him, puzzled. “You’re not going to have a you around to help out.”

“Yeah,” you say. The thought is weirdly dispiriting. Not only will you be in here with no patient outreach specialist, you’re going to be in here all alone. Your family lives in a different prefecture, most of your friends have their own lives to deal with, and it’s not like you have a partner who could come with you. You haven’t gone on a date in a long time. “It’s going to suck.”

“If it ever happens, me and Mon will hang out with you,” Tenko says, and you nearly fall out of your chair. “She helps me. She won’t mind helping you, too.”

Before you can even think about addressing that, there’s a quick knock on the door, and Dr. Fukukado steps in. “Hey, sorry about the wait,” she says earnestly. “Mini-Godzilla was zipping around out here and he was tough to catch. We’ve got it under control, obviously, but — hey, you need to go home. Everybody who got hurt has to clock out.”

“I’m a volunteer. I don’t have to do anything,” you say. “I can stick around as long as I need to.”

You’ve put the ball back in Tenko’s court, which you feel is the patient-centered thing to do, especially when you’re technically still on shift. But patient-centered or not, you don’t want to leave just yet. You’ve gotten a little protective over these two, and by the time you go home and hug your own dog, you want to know that Tenko and his dog are going to be okay.

“Stick around,” Tenko says after a moment, and your heart lifts in a way it really shouldn’t. “Somebody needs to replace Mon when she goes for her x-rays.”

He wants you to be his service dog? “Sure, but I’m not going to lick your face.”

Tenko laughs at that – actually laughs – and the lightness in your chest grows a little harder to ignore. You like making people feel better, and you like it more than you should that he wants you around a little while longer. It’s not often that you have a night like this one at work. The Komodo dragon bite is going to be the better story, the kind you’ll tell your friends about, or your parents the next time you call home. But hanging out with Tenko Shimura and Mon for the rest of your shift is what you’re going to remember.

#shigaraki tomura x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x you #tomura shigaraki x you #shimura tenko x reader #tenko shimura x reader #shimura tenko x you #tenko shimura x you #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x you #reader insert #x reader #man door hand hook car door #a bisquared production

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rachelsshowerthoughts · 1 year ago

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Bleach MMORPG Idea

When The War Is Over

Character Customization

The game begins with the player taking the entrance exam to the Shinigami Academy. Here is where you can pick what you look like, and select which district you come from. Which district you pick will have a few different effects on your character's stats - for instance, the lower numbered the district you pick, the lack of training or access to food and knowledge means that your kidou skills are terrible, but surviving on the outskirts gives you a lot of endurance and powerful physical attacks; meanwhile, the closer you are to the Seireitei, the better access to food and teaching means you probably have a good grasp of kidou, but you have been fairly protected, so you aren’t as physically strong. All of these starting stats are not permanent, and can be changed depending on a variety of choices and training options, but they make it easier to tailor your Shinigami to certain roles early on. You can also potentially pick certain buffs for your character depending on where you came from. There would also be two potentially paid options - Noble Soul, and Werewolf. Noble Soul means you were born to a member of the Seireitei Nobility (possibly one of the Five Noble Houses?) and with an upbringing of expectation and access to the best training of all kinds, you get the optimized stats from the beginning of the game. Werewolves is a mostly cosmetic/role-playing choice, as you get different character creation menu, and some NPCs will remark on your status as a Werewolf, but you might get a few permanent buffs. They would probably be attached to some expansion packs, like the Noble Soul Expansion, and the Beast World Expansion, which would include more story and such. Maybe there's a Quincy one where you start as a Quincy now allied with Soul Society to help clean up.

*Perhaps there are options for other kind of animal-based characters? That might be too hard . . .

Prologue/Tutorial: Academy Years

You enter into the bottom rung class at the Academy, and after an entry scene, start taking various classes. This section of the game teaches you the basic mechanics, some lore, does a bit of world-building, and introduces you to other students and teachers. You also get a few glimpses of various members of the Gotei, and teases as to when this takes place within the Bleach Timeline. As you attend classes and study for exams, you are already beginning to tailor your stats, and learning about the various Squads you want to enter after graduation. There is some minor drama, maybe a fight with a Hollow, and setting up a character as a rival.

**Do you get your Zanpakutou at the beginning or the end of your school career? Hmmm.

During the last year of the Academy, the Quincy War erupts in the Soul Society. Your character, and the rest of your classmates, are barricaded inside the Academy, forced to watch from behind a barrier as your teachers (maybe some older students, a few of your friends?) fight off the Quincy forces trying to attack the Academy. While initially the school is well protected, the first barrier is shattered and Quincys flood the school. Helpless behind the second barrier, you watch as those who have taught you and helped you are cut down, injured, and killed. As the massacre happens, you catch a glimpse of someone in the melee, standing apart, smiling. You have no idea who they are, but they are staring straight at you. It's as if they are staring into your Soul . . .

When the battle finally ends, you stand in the middle of a bloodbath, only a few of your teachers have survived and most of your classmates are traumatized. You are shaken, but furious, and vow to discover who led the attack on your school.

Game Start/The Story Begins . . .

We move forward in time. The war is, ostensibly, over, and Soul Society is a total wreck. You and your class at the Academy have been graduated early, as Shinigami Apprentices, to help fill the ranks of the Gotei devastated by the war. Under the leadership of one of the Thirteen Squads, you embark on your journey as a Shinigami, working to help Soul Society heal, and hunting for the person who killed so many of your teachers and schoolmates. Unbeknownst to you, there is more going on under the surface that meets the eye . . .

As a Shinigami Apprentice, you have a great amount of freedom in which Squad you choose to align yourself with. You can change which Squad you align yourself with by simply talking to certain characters, and completing some easy quests. Each Squad has a different buff granted to their members (for instance, Squad 4 gives an increase on healing abilities, and so on). However, apart from the buffs and a few story scenes, as well as a few Squad specific quests, there is otherwise very little difference to what Squad you pick. There are, however, certain Squads that you must meet certain requirements to join. For example, to join Squad 11, your strength stat must be higher than any other stat. Once you've joined this will no longer matter - you can absolutely have a kidou-user in Squad 11 - but to join up you must meet the requirements set by the Captain. Only Squads' 13, 3, 4 and 5 can be joined with no special requirements. If you are a Werewolf, you can also join Squad 7 without meeting the requirements. Squad 1 has the most requirements to join, meaning it’s basically impossible to start in this Squad, unless you purchased the Noble Soul Pack, and gives the best all-around buffs.

***Squad 12 could potentially be crafting "class"?

The main way of getting stronger, besides leveling up, is to "connect" with, or "upgrade" your zanpakutou. Each sword has a "skill tree" on which you spend points, until you reach Shikai, which unlocks a new skill tree, that you spend points on to reach Bankai. When the sword is still an Asauchi, the skills you can pick are basically limitless, but as you pick certain skills/buffs, you might lock out other abilities (for instance, picking mostly fire abilities will probably lock out any water abilities). Once you reach Shikai, that skill tree will be determined by the skills you picked when your sword was an Asauchi, then the same for Bankai. You will also be able to pick from a few different sword forms, and based on several quests and choices you make, will determine your sword spirit name and appearance. You won’t be locked into that sword forever, though. By purchasing or earning certain points, you can use Squad 12's (highly experimental) zanpakutou reforge, to turn your zanpakutou back into an Asauchi and start over with your sword construction. This will mean repeating a few quests to get your Shikai and/or Bankai again. You can also complete special quests to gain a Vizard or Fullbringer form.

Other ideas:

You have quarters you can decorate

You can have neat little pets that follow you around, potentially help you fight

Learn Shunpou and sprint around the map

Visit the Living World, Hueco Mundo, the Beast World, the Quincy Shadow City, Soul King's Palace, Rukon etc.

Get various outfits and accessories

Mini games?

Work with various characters from the TV and Manga

Lots of opportunities for world-building

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todayimgonnaplay · 10 months ago

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Today I'm Gonna Play: Persona 3 Reload

Phew, this took a pretty long time to complete! This was one of the many awaited games of this year that I've wanted to play, and I've finally completed it today! This isn't my first time playing P3, but since I only have experience with Portable, that's the only version I can compare it to when I talk about P3R.

I'm probably in the minority that liked Tartarus in the original versions. The randomly generated dungeons and amount of them didn't bother me at all. Each floor felt it had a short and even length to explore, and the shuffle cards encouraged me to fight every single enemy (or Shadow) that appeared. Reload definitely improves on a couple aspects in that the floors look more appealing in terms of design, and are also varied per set/block that you traverse through. In addition to that, there's even additional dungeons for more challenge or encounters that spice up climbing through these floors. Despite that, I kind of felt myself getting pretty bored about 20-30 hours in the game grinding through them. I'm not sure if it's because I've been playing Persona games the past 6+ months that I'm starting to hit a fatigue, or if there's something I don't like about this revamped design. In the end, I had to switch to playing Peaceful to just get through the game. One thing I do miss and wish were in more RPGs that do dungeon formats was being able to split your party to search the floors. This made clearing them much more faster, and also helped with leveling up too. Although I think leveling in Reload is a lot more lenient, and there's a new scouting feature instead where you send 1 party member to move up a floor in advance, which is probably why they removed splitting. But this occurs randomly rather than something you can do by choice, and is mostly for item collection.

In terms of non-combat or the social aspect, I definitely liked seeing familiar and new faces, yet also didn't like them at the same time. Seeing them fully voiced in a 3D environment compared to P3P is like night and day and makes it much more immersive! Being able to see their stories as these characters struggle and change really pays off well when you finish the game. Compared to Persona 4 where I loved how tight-knit the main cast was, I couldn't really get into the social links individually (but I loved the detail of many of them being acquainted with one another). With Reload's theme of Death, it beautifully illustrates how death can be both literal and metaphorical, and how people can overcome or accept it, while looking forward to a better tomorrow. That being said, some social links definitely felt infuriating to go through, which made it hard to sympathize with those characters. 4 on the other hand at least made them bearable at most (except two that I really disliked). One really neat aspect that Reload added were link episodes with male characters and even antagonists to flesh them out more, as well as activities with the main cast. Not only were they enjoyable and added more characterization, they still provide gameplay benefits just as much as the regular social links do, so they didn't feel like a waste of time.

This is probably a nitpick but one thing I'd REALLY like to see improved upon in future titles (or maybe I'll change my mind with 5 Royal) is to allow for more time to socialize. For a game about time management, they're really brutal with how often can you hang out considering the amount of holidays, exams, and even time skips that block your progress. It makes this one unique aspect of this series so stressful to go through if you want to max all social links, unless you use a guide and follow it strictly. Fortunately, multiple playthroughs do solve this apparently as these stats can carry over. But personally, to think about going through a second playthrough when I've technically played this entry 2 and a half times, it can get really exhausting.

Apart from gameplay, the best highlight for me is the UI. Portable's UI is one of my favourite (if not my most) in all video games. I love how minimalistic yet stylish it is. Reload completely revamps it by using a water motif as a reference to the sea of souls, while also propping the protagonist. It never gets tiring to look at!

A mixed opinion I have is about the music. The new music is always great, which I think only P3 has been able to pull off compared to the others regardless of version(for e.g. I'm not a fan of Shadow World and whatever 5 Royal's opening and battle theme are). But the old singer is definitely someone that is hard to replace. Although she performs amazingly in the new songs, and I have come to accept some of the remixes; She carries a sense of monotony compared to a relaxed yet somewhat carefree style that the old singer had. Maybe monotony fits with how the protagonist is, but this is just preference.

Overall, I think this remake was made with a lot of hard work and passion, trying to bring fresh ideas yet being faithful to the original version of 3. Although I felt tired of playing it at some point and started rushing, I'm still glad I had the opportunity to go through this journey one more time. I think it's going to take a lot longer now to check out Persona 5 Royal, but I will be looking forward to Episode Aigis this year!

youtube

#game analysis #youtube #game review #game reviews #gaming #jrpg games #atlus #p3r #persona 3 reload #persona 3

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prion-obsessed-premed · 2 years ago

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7/10/23

this weekend, i was productive, but not in the way i had expected to be. one of my biggest goals during this time is to get better at prioritizing my tasks each day. this has been something that i've struggled with for forever. i will spend hours pouring over chapters that i've read a million times before, or reviewing concepts that i know like the back of my hand in order to avoid working on something i know i should be doing! the summer semester is always a grind, but i think it's starting to catch up to me a little bit now.

things i accomplished that i'm proud of:

planted some seeds in my garden that i had been trying to get started for nearly two weeks

had a great one-on-one study session with one of my anatomy students learning about muscle contraction

finished the second skein of yard for an afghan i'm crocheting for my best friend's birthday

completed three chapters of stats homework for an exam (that's tomorrow! yikes!!)

things that i probably could've handled better:

i wasted a lot of time friday scrolling through instagram; if i hadn't done that, i definitely wouldn't have been so rushed in trying to complete stats

instead of creating flashcards for muscle ID that i promised my students, i decided to crochet and watch house md - it wasn't the end of the world because i needed to take some time for myself, but i wish i would've gotten started on them just a little bit

specific goals for the upcoming week:

finish creating the answer key for a practice exam for anatomy

review umpiring rules for this weekend (ew)

continue tracking tutoring hours

review neuro anki

create at least axial muscle anki ID

what are some ways that you help yourself stay on track with tasks during the week? if you've read this far, thank you! see ya next time :)

-- mar

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eudikot · 2 years ago

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Today is the two month anniversary of me finishing season 3 of Mob Psycho and starting to listening to the soundtrack. Why should you care about this? Because that decision to start listening to 99 spiraled into listening to only the songs from the mp100 soundtrack for those last two months. I created a playlist with all of them and some good covers and only listened to that one playlist with under 30 songs total for the last 60 days. But today, after coming back from a long conference and falling asleep before I remembered to take my microbial genetics exam (please let me take it late we got delayed for 4 hours on the plane), I've finally decided to move back to my 60+ hour playlist and reintroduce myself to the world of music beyond mp100. Before I remove myself completely, I just want to share my listening stats over this period because I paid to track every second of my Spotify listening and am glad I did so because I love looking at how crazy I am at times.

To start off, just MOB CHOIR:

Doing some simple math... 7,259 minutes = 121.583 hours = 5 days of listening to this songs in 60 days. That alone already describes my dedication.

Moving onto my song preferences:

The first image is ordered by minutes, the second by number of times played (since the cover of Memosepia is the TV edit and is much shorter despite it being the 11th song I streamed). 99, the first one that infested my brain, still held out on top. Memosepia, probably my favorite overall, directly competed with it despite the fact that I started listening to it on the 26th of December instead of the 23rd. It's also interesting to see Tyounouryokusyani Arigatuo move from 3rd to 6th when comparing minutes to streams, but it's by a slim margin.

You may also notice that some songs repeat. That is because I've been listening to the instrumental versions with just as much intensity as the lyrical ones. The instruments are likely what brought my brain to love these songs because they are just insanely good.

But finally, let's look at the ranking of the artists:

Looking at this is great because we can get a more accurate number of total listening time and streams. However, I do think that songs with both artists, such as 99.9 by MOB CHOIR and sajou no hana, may get counted for both despite only playing once. Regardless, this brings our total up to 16,862 minutes = 281.03 hours = 11.71 days. Wow. If you were curious, that's 4,826 streams.

I'd also like to point out that the artist in kanji is who sings Tyounouryokusyani Arigatou... and that is the only song on there. So I've listened to the lyrical and instrumental version of that song 332 times (178 and 154 respectively based on the previous image). And, I didn't start that one until the 25th. Reigen needs to chill off on being so addicting.

That's all I have for this post. Feel free to determine my level of insanity from this post. I already know that I'm not going to be able to share my Spotify wrapped with anyone because if any other songs beat this during the remaining time we have this year I will be surprised. If you didn't think that I added every song except for the instrumentals to my collective playlist of every song I ever enjoyed just so I could burst my eardrums everytime they played then you clearly didn't learn a thing about me from this post. Actually, that playlist is now at 1,001 songs so that's it's own little celebration.

Thank you Mob Psycho 100

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mob choir #Listening to normal music is so weird now. It just doesn’t have the hype that these songs provide.

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1d1195 · 5 months ago

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Oo oo oo!! Which calc?? Or like… ALL of the differential, integral, vector, etc? I hated vector unfortunately. I thought I’d love it bc, ya know…physics is my thing😂 but then we got into triple integrals and changing the variables of them, and I did not feel very hypnotic fully fresh anymore. I think derivatives were my favorite, but in integral, I figured out I could do IBP in my head 💀 so that was fun☺️

Also, I think I told you I decided to retake diff eq this summer(?) bc my instructor last year decided to hate me, but this term I got a 92 on my first exam and a 98.5 on my second one😭 We have two more exams before the term is out, so hopefully those go okay. like??? Fair grading goes so far! My instructor last year, if I lost a sign or fucked up a constant, they would take points off for every step after. I remember one problem I did that on like, step two, and it was graded a 1/15. Hello?? All my work is correct, I just made a tiny algebraic error, so what is this for😭 This instructor tho, they just write like “-.25” for that one part and call it good😂 BC I KNOW THE CONCEPTS!!!! I JUST CAN’T ADD FOUR AND SEVEN ANYMORE!! Got to far into math and now I have to check on my calculator three separate times that five and five is indeed ten 🤣 you think after four calcs, linear algebra, stats, diff eq, and a year of calc based physics that I can do simple arithmetic?? Absolutely not lmao

I’ve been looking for a new job because my current lab position doesn’t receive benefits, and where I live, you can only stay on your parents insurance until you’re 26. And I’ll be that old on the 26th😂 I have too many health issues to NOT have insurance.

I applied for a position at another lab, and they emailed me yesterday for the next step! It sucks that I have to leave my current lab since I’ve been there for over five and a half years, and I LOVE what I do, but there’s also been a lot of shit going down so it’s probably for the best lmao

-👩🏻‍🔬

Honestly, haven't even looked at the curriculum. I'm pretty sure it's Calc I for most college level courses. I actually took AP Calc ages ago and I remember we covered derivatives, limits, implicit differentiation (MY FAVORITE 😍😍), some integrals, optimization maybe? I forget. I'm pretty nervous about teaching it so I really SHOULD start looking at it, but I'm on fumes of remembering how much I LOVED it when I took it and I'm just so excited. IBP is actually terrifying to me. Idk if I could do that I really need to study 🤭

LOVE that for you! I knew you would do well! I'm happy to report that as a teacher I'm a very fair grader the way you described. If you mess up a sign anywhere on the problem I take at most 1 point away. (Algebra doesn't have like 15 steps for me to take away additional points). I want them to know the process more than the little arithmetic (but also they get a calculator that they REFUSE to use when I offer it so I like to take points off for that too). So 3/4 for an otherwise flawless problem is what I do.

I'M THE SAME WAY. All my friends ask me to split checks and do the tip when we go out to eat and I'm like "lol, give me a piece of paper be, I can't subtract anymore."

I hope you get the new job! Benefits are so important. Your golden birthday! How lovely! Do you have any fun plans? I'm going to do my best to remember but that's around when I go back to work!

Thanks for checking in! I hope you're having a great week! 💕

xoxo

#👩🏻‍🔬

0 notes

gumify · 6 months ago

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ESPRESSO feat. satoru gojo ❝ WALKED IN AND DREAM CAME TRUED IT FOR YA ! ❞

now playing... espresso by sabrina carpenter.

summary. never in your life did you think a silly coffee shop tradition with your friends would result in a game of cat-and-mouse with an unabashedly flirtatious barista. but, then again, you’d never met satoru gojo.

tags. barista!satoru x fem!reader, college au, non-curse au, fluff, strangers to lovers, reader’s lowkey a menace & toru’s highkey delusional.

wc. 2.9k

note. first post everybody cheered !!! ‘m missing my blue-eyed loser more than usual today so enjoy this entirely self-indulgent piece 😣💢

ㅤ ㅤㅤyou and your friends have this… thing, you see.

it all started years ago, when you’d begun to develop a raging caffeine addiction in the midst of your final exams. it was then that your best friends had dragged you to the coziest café on campus, and it was there that they let you in on their little secret.

thinking back, you remember it being utahime who had whispered the words in your ear with a giggle. the words you’d hold yourself to for the rest of your university life; and the words you probably should have turned down if only you'd known better.

the words being: “when you place your order, don’t give the barista your actual name.”

you’d stared at her as if she were crazy.

"... why?"

“because it’s funny!”

“is it, though?”

“of course!” this time, it was shoko that insisted. “we’ve been playing around with these guys for weeks now — you’ve gotta see the looks on their faces every time we walk in with a new name!”

you gave in with a halfhearted shrug. "whatever you say, ieiri.”

and just like that, your trio’s tradition was born.

some days, you like to coordinate your aliases according to characters from books, movies or tv shows you’ve been enjoying. most days, it’s whatever random name pops into your minds as you walk into the coffee shop.

today, you decide on the former.

“we should totally do friends.” utahime chirps, bouncing on her toes as the three of you are heading to your usual morning pick-me-up spot. “in honor of all those reruns we watched last weekend!”

“in honor of all those reruns you watched last weekend.” shoko corrects, “we tapped out as soon as mr. ‘we were on a break!’ got too big for his boots.”

“and missed out on a whole seven incredible seasons!” utahime protests.

you shake your head with a chuckle, “guess we know who’s being rachel, then.”

“i call dibs on phoebe!” shoko’s quick to announce.

“i— hey!” you pout, “you know she’s my favourite character!”

“you snooze you lose, y/n.”

“what do you have against monica anyways, hm?” utahime instigates.

“nothing. she’s just not phoebe.” you reply, plain and simple.

“she did get the best love story of the entire series…” utahime hums. “who knows?” her brows wiggle in jest, “we could be manifesting something for you.”

your trio exchanges a brief look — before bursting into fits of laughter.

“yeah, right!”

it’s no secret that love has found it’s way to the bottom of your list of priorities over the years. hell, if it’s even on the list at all! you’ve had your fair share of short-term boyfriends, casual flings and drunken hookups, sure, but none that you’ve truly cared about the way it always seems to be in the movies.

instead, you’ve learned to cope with the void of a significant other by filling it with things that actually matter — like your studies and social life. the truth is, with maturity came the realization that men (or boys, rather) are really just not worth your time and effort. they only ever end up disappointing you at the end of the day, so what’s the point? you figure a life of independence is definitely the way to go, and your friends couldn’t agree more.

“now let's pick up the pace!” mentally shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you grab the women by their wrists to march onward with a newfound sense of purpose. “i’m about two seconds away from falling asleep on the sidewalk if i don’t get my morning coffee, stat!” ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤㅤwalking into the café feels like reaching an oasis after days spent stranded in the desert.

you, shoko and utahime breathe a collective sigh of relief upon basking in the trademark scent of freshly roasted coffee beans wafting through the air. it’s quite busy for a wednesday morning, with students and professors bustling to and from the front counter for their fixes. most of the buttery leather sofas scattered around the space are occupied, and more books than usual are missing from the shelves that line the sage green walls.

in light of valentine’s day approaching soon, the space has been fittingly decorated with fairy lights, pink streamers, and candy heart posters. upon closer inspection, you realise some of the candy hearts have handwritten messages or doodles scrawled onto them instead of the usual one-liners you’re used to seeing. you also happen to notice the one stuck to the pastry display case has the words ‘hmu if u can pay off my student loans :p’ written on it, which pulls an amused chuckle from your lips.

“earth to y/n…”

shoko sends a playful poke to your ribs, reminding you that you’re next in line.

“hm? oh!”

you shuffle toward the register — only to find an unfamiliar face smiling at you.

oh.

it knocks the wind from your lungs for a moment.

you’ve been a regular at this café for years now, but it’s the first you’ve seen of this particular barista. he’s tall, with milky soft skin and stark white hair that falls over a pair of shades nestled precariously on the edge of his button nose. his cheekbones are sharp, lips pillowy and naturally curved into a smirk. a certain aura of boyish charm radiates from this stranger, and it’s now that you deduce: he must be new.

not to mention attractive. straight-out-of-the-movies, double-take-worthy levels of it.

and he seems to think the same of you, if the way he’s blatantly staring at you from across the counter is anything to go by.

“ya’ like the message?” he hums, tilting his sunglasses further down the bridge of his nose to reveal a pair of striking aquamarine irises. they sparkle in the warm lighting of the café as they shift between your own and the decoration that had distracted you earlier — and from this mannerism alone, something inside you stirs. this guy screams trouble.

“‘s funny, i guess.” you admit.

“glad to know someone appreciates my work.” leaning his forearms against the counter, he shoots you a kilowatt grin. “so what can i get for your gorgeous, indebted self today?”

the total lack of subtlety has your eyes rolling to the back of your skull. “you discuss crippling debt with all your customers?”

the handsome stranger’s hair falls over his eyes when he laughs, a hand raising to rake through the silk-like strands. “mmm… nah,” he pauses, allowing even more cheek to seep into his flirtatious tone. “just the cute ones.”

“lucky me.” you drawl sarcastically. you feel his piercing gaze remain on you while you scan the menu. “i’ll take a cappuccino, thanks.”

“and your name?” he pops the cap of a sharpie open with his teeth, brows raised behind the rim of a takeaway cup. but something about the twinkle in his eyes and the mischief lacing his tone tells you he’s asking more for his own sake, rather than that of the order.

“monica.” you lie. answer.

“monica…” he repeats, scribbling away on the cup. you can see the name bouncing around the confines of his skull as he muses, “pretty name for a pretty girl.”

idiot.

you give him a tight-lipped smile, paying wordlessly before slipping away from the line and back to your friends. if you were to stay around the barista and his charms any longer, you think you’d start to rot from all the sugarcoated compliments.

“what took you so long?” utahime pries as soon as you reunite with her at the waiting area.

“don’t worry about it.” you murmur.

the younger girl shrugs, turning her attention back to what she was preoccupied with before your return. she and shoko seem to be in some kind of laid back conversation with another barista — who you recognize, of course, from the countless times you’ve visited this café and the handful of lectures you share on occasion.

“g’morning, suguru!” you greet him with a smile.

your classmate returns the pleasantries, and you jump into the conversation whilst waiting for your order to be made. it’s nothing too serious — brief mentions of mutual friends, upcoming exams, and a couple bantery comments thrown about — all foregrounded by the sound of cups clinking and milk steaming as the four of you will the time away.

“orders up for rachel, phoebe, and monica!”

suguru, catching onto the names that were just called out, gives your trio an exasperated shake of his head. “are you guys seriously still doing this?”

“oh, shut up.” shoko tsks, “it’s funny!”

“tell that to all my co-workers who think you’re going through an identity crisis every week.” the man chuckles.

utahime returns with three takeaway cups in hand, passing them out to you and shoko. as soon as you take a sip, you sigh contentedly at the well-made beverage. see, this happens to be one of the many reasons this particular café is your favorite spot on campus — aside from the homey atmosphere and friendly staff, of course — they know how to make a damn good cup of coffee.

“did you guys change the recipe or something?” you ask suguru. eyes wide, you take another gulp of your cappuccino. “this is even better than usual!”

“enjoying yet another one of my creations, hm?”

the stranger from before appears behind suguru before he’s even able to formulate a reply, flashing you a second trademark smile.

“really laying it on thick with the praises this morning, pretty. might make me blush if ya’ keep at it.”

you scoff, “that’s rich coming from you.”

“heh, guilty.”

you’ve never met anyone so forward as the man in front of you. with the way his eyes haven’t stopped glittering since you’d first come into contact with them, you’d think he’s been harboring some kind of secret crush on you for years, as opposed to the two of you only having met each other mere minutes before. you wonder how on earth someone could be so unabashed toward a total stranger — not to mention the fact that he doesn’t even know your name! or, your real name, to be precise.

“dude, stop hitting on all my friends.” suguru tsks, shooting an unimpressed look toward his co-worker.

“only when you stop being friends with beautiful women.” he counters playfully.

“stuck between three chronic liars and a serial flirt…” the raven-haired man goes on to mumble, though the smile remaining on his face suggests his amusement at it all despite the sarcasm that drips from his next words. “happy wednesday to me.”

you, shoko and utahime laugh in unison, while the newcomer’s brows knit together in puzzlement.

“chronic liars?”

now it’s suguru’s turn to let out a snicker. he takes a moment to explain your trio’s odd tradition to the befuddled man beside him.

“wait…” he shakes his head, turning to you once more. “so your name isn’t monica?”

“nope.” you confirm.

“huh.” he chuckles, shaking his head to himself. the tradition itself sounds awfully pointless to him — but that’s not to say he doesn’t see the fun in it. “what is it, then?” he asks.

“wouldn’t you love to know?” you tease.

you could make a fun game out of this, you think.

“yeah.” he replies wholeheartedly, “i would, actually.”

the stranger leans his weight against the counter, as if his body were subconsciously trying to close the gap between the two of you. as if your name were the most coveted secret he’d die without knowing. and in this moment, he thinks, it just might be.

“hmm—”

ding! ding! ding!

alas, the campus bell gongs; signalling the start of your next class and cutting your deliberation short.

“guess we’ll have to save it for another time.”

shoko and utahime are conveniently wrapping up their conversation with suguru on the side, and you take this as the perfect opportunity to slip away.

“i’ll see you around…” your gaze drifts from the stranger’s twinkling eyes, past the blush creeping down his neck, right until you reach the name tag pinned over his chest. “satoru.”

and just like that, you’re gone. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤㅤsatoru gojo is fucked.

undeniably, irreversibly fucked.

it’s been two days since his first introduction to you and, already, his mind is stuck in some sort of permanent frenzy.

nothing but thoughts of you, with your playful smile and addicting gaze. you, who smelled of vanilla and warm laundry and everything good and right in this world. the way you’d bounced ever-so-lightly on your toes as you savored the taste of his cappuccino — the one he’d made sure to steam to perfection, when he’s usually receiving warnings from his manager for burning the milk every other day. the way your hair swung effortlessly with every step you took. the way your jeans hugged your figure in all the right places.

and the way you said his name… god— the way it sounded falling from your rose-petaled lips, in your silken voice…

satoru could get drunk off the thought of it alone.

and maybe he is; wide awake at the crack of dawn, staring up at his ceiling in a weak attempt to will away these thoughts of you that never seem to take a breather… perhaps drunk would be the only word to describe it.

“tch,” he grunts, splaying his long limbs against the cold sheets. “feel like a fuckin’ teenager.”

how could a single interaction affect him this damn much? and to think he never even got your name!

admittedly, this predicament is odd, even for satoru. he can’t remember the last time he’s been so irrationally hooked, so delusional, over a woman — if at all. the feeling courses through his body like a shot of espresso (ha.) and before he knows it, he’s reaching for his phone and giving in to the devil on his shoulder. ㅤ

thot daughter • 02:50 AM

sugubooo <3 my bestest friend in the whole wide worlddd

delivered

ㅤ satoru stares at the dimly lit screen with bated breath. waiting… waiting… waiting… until— ㅤ

gay son • 03:01 AM

read

ㅤ the man damn near jumps out of his covers upon receiving the notification; a premature victory. ㅤ

thot daughter • 03:01 AM

oh shit you’re actually up

gay son • 03:01 AM

phys exam tomorrow don’t tell me you forgot?

read

ㅤ gay son • 03:05 AM

satoru…

thot daughter • 03:06 AM

FUCK

gay son • 03:06 AM

🤦‍♂️

thot daughter • 03:07 AM

whatever, more pressing issue at hand rn

gay son • 03:07 AM

hm?

thot daughter • 03:07 AM

remember that friend of yours who dropped by the café the other day 👀

read

ㅤ gay son • 03:08 AM

no. before you even ask, it’s a no.

thot daughter • 03:08 AM

CMON MAN PLEAAASE 😫🙏

gay son • 03:08 AM

no.

thot daughter • 03:09 AM

JUST HER NUMBER PLEASE I’LL DO ANYTHING

gay son • 03:09 AM

she’s not interested in dating rn, toru.

thot daughter • 03:09 AM

i’m tryna change that 🧎‍♂️

gay son • 03:10 AM

no.

read

ㅤ gay son • 03:11 AM

besides, she told me specifically not to give anything away to you… not even her name 🤐

read

ㅤ satoru perks up even more at that.

“if she’s doin’ what i think she’s doin’…” he muses to himself, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth. and though he doesn’t voice his next words aloud, he instead feels them in the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

then this just got a whole lot more fun. ㅤ

thot daughter • 03:12 AM

all the more reason to give it to me, no?

gay son • 03:12 AM

…

thot daughter • 03:12 AM

cmonnn suguuuuu

gay son • 03:13 AM

🙂↔️

thot daughter • 03:13 AM

i could make her so happy >:(

gay son • 03:13 AM

it’s giving desperate.

thot daughter • 03:14 AM

i can’t relate to desperation 🥱

gay son • 03:14 AM

ha.

read

ㅤ with it becoming more and more apparent that even his best friend wouldn’t help him get closer to you, satoru flings his phone to the bedside table with a dramatic hmpf. he’d expected the conversation with suguru to end in a successful retrieval of your contact details, to satiate even the tiniest bit of the behemoth craving in his gut, but it only added fuel to the fire.

… so he is on your radar.

enough to make you bring it up to your friends — and, better yet, to rope them into your bit.

the thought sends an all-too-familiar smirk to play at the man’s lips. after all, he’s never been one to shy away from a challenge. they only entice him all the more, as a matter of fact. especially when they look like you.

so it’s in this moment that satoru gojo decides: he will indulge in this little game of yours — and, if the prize happens to be even another crumb of your attention, he will stop at nothing to win. ㅤ

thot daughter • 03:30 AM

fine, i’ll get her name AND number myself then 😇

delivered

ㅤ a stupid grin graces the barista’s features as his head hits the pillow at last, dozing off to nothing but thoughts of you — his newfound addiction — and a promise murmured to bare walls and the hardened side of an otherwise empty bed.

“you’re so on, pretty.” ㅤ

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk fic #jjk fluff #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo #gojo x reader #gojo fic #gojo fluff

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bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus · 2 years ago

Text

Baying Dogs (Rewrite); Chapter Five: Diagnosis

Hello! Sorry for the delay in uploading this, exams are well under way which I've been prioritising. I've also had a freak accident with boiling water and now I have a huge second-degree burn covering one of my arms... that's probably going to take some time to heal.

In the meantime, because I know there's going to be more delays in writing and uploading chapters, lol, have a cheeky lil reread :P. See if you need to rethink your suspects :).

Warnings for: Strong language, gore, body horror (only slight), mentions of violence and menstruation (this isn't me stigmatising, but I know it can still be a sensitive topic for some people so I am giving a heads' up)

Word count: 4, 972

He was horrified. He wanted to gag.

Eyes were wide, bulging.

All he could do was stare.

Price thought he was accustomed to violence and brutality, having been in this line of work for a while now. Even he himself had committed a few atrocities of his own. And yet, here he stood, at a loss for words, like he had just seen death for the first time.

The gore was almost… gratuitous.

“Gaz…” He finally managed to croak out, his voice barely above a whisper.

Dougs hadn’t uttered anything. She couldn’t. All she did was cover her mouth in shock as she knelt before the corpse, hoping if she stared long enough… his eyes would stare back.

Flies hovered above the body, occasionally swooping down to take fresh pickings of drying blood.

There wasn’t any heat to him anymore, guts no longer steaming.

Price drew in a shaky breath. He swallowed hard. The horror was subsiding and replacing it was grief, grief which bubbled just under the surface, just waiting to boil over into a froth of anger. The captain could feel it. He was inconsolable. Any mutterings of assurances, any condolences given in goodwill, would only piss him off. Whoever did this... because he damn well knew it was ‘who’. He had known it was a ‘who’ from the start. Only now, as he fell before Gaz’s eviscerated corpse, did he truly care.

This proved that the man hadn’t been hardened at all, nor had he grown numb.

Inside him was a heart which pounded in his chest and a stomach which growled for blood.

They would pay. The murderer would pay.

Slowly, he turned to Dougs.

“You found him like this?”

That wasn’t a question, that sounded like a demand.

His teeth were clenched, lips peeled back in a snarl.

“Yes, sir.”

“Just now?”

“I screamed when I saw him.”

“You better be telling the truth.”

She gulped.

“I am.”

Price exhaled and looked behind to the others.

“Who did this?”

“Sir, we need to report-”

“WHO DID THIS?!”

They straightened up, remaining silent.

Price looked back at the body. Protocol would demand he report to Shepherd and inform him of the death but… God! He needed time. Time to think. He had already acknowledged the reality of the situation but what to do about this information which sat before him, red and raked with gaping wounds.... had yet to be seen.

Gaz had been through a lot with him. Gaz had been his righthand man. Price had kicked off his career in this line of work, mentoring him from the very beginning. This wasn’t how things were supposed to end. Price should be in his place, with his guts out, bathing in the morning sun as it warmed his pallid skin. Gaz was the one who should be living.

The captain had had his heyday, his adventures, his progression.

Gaz hadn’t.

Graves knelt by him.

“Price, we need to report to Shepherd, now.”

Price was paralysed.

Graves shook him a little.

“Shepherd needs to know. Stat.”

Price nodded and got up.

He made to address all of them.

“Whoever’s done this. I’ll fucking find out either way so one of you better start thinking about fessing up. And when you do,” his voice was pretty much a growl, guttural with barely contained rage, “I’ll kill you.”

With that, he took his leave, letting Graves walk him back to the barracks.

And then, there were three.

Dougs could see something white amidst the red once more.

Another tooth?

She looked back to the two men standing behind her.

Soap met her eyes and quickly moved to avert her gaze. Eventually, he decided to head back into the dilapidated base.

Ghost lingered for a few moments longer, staring at the body… like he was in some sort of trance.

He was probably having a rude awakening, much like Price.

Soon, he too left.

I hope you stay put, Gaz.

The medic scurried off but came back in a flash. On both her hands were a pair of gloves, and in her dominant hand, a pair of tweezers. She did what she had done with Weir.

A little bit of twisting, some tugging, the occasional wrenching and hey presto!

In the pinch of her metal grip was another tooth.

Dougs sat by Gaz, cross-legged as the sun was beginning to sit high in the sky.

“I’m sorry, Gaz…” She sniffled, “I’ll find who did this. They’ll be sorry.”

The woman got up, tucking the tooth away into her breast pocket.

“And if I don’t. Make sure you haunt them for me, yeah?”

Dougs headed for the medical room, hoping she could compare the teeth and maybe sneak in some time to begin copying those files into her notebook. She needed to compile all the evidence she could get, because now she was certain this had been a set up.

And she had a feeling Weir did too.

Everyone around the woman was saying men had attacked, or figures of men at least, but Gaz had given Weir a different account.

“You know, it’s odd you two are saying men struck you because Sergeant Garrick over there said it was animals.”

Price had looked over to Gaz, who now had his head in his hands, leg jigging up and down.

“Animals?”

“Aye.”

Soap lowered his voice.

“Gaz is saying animals hit us?”

Weir shifted uncomfortably, rising to her full height from her previous position squatting by the bedside.

“He was the first of you to come to, all of you completely crashed when your bodies hit the beds.” Weir gave a small laugh, shaking her head before continuing, “When I asked about what happened and what I should build my report to General Shepherd on, Garrick said that Task Force 141 had been struck by a pack of animals.”

Price sighed, running a hand over his moustache.

“I think Gaz is pretty shaken up.” He proposed, “I think we all are. None of us were expecting this.”

“If I’m honest,” Weir ran a hand through her hair, “I think this whole thing is a botched job. Clearly, something’s off because we were told one thing and you were told-”

Once she was out of here, maybe Dougs could build a case? Get someone to look, get the right people to look at this.

She sighed.

All she could do was hope.

***

“This is Gold Eagle Actual.”

“Sir, Sergeant…” He took a deep breath, “Sergeant Kyle Garrick has been murdered.”

“Murdered?”

“Yes. Sergeant Garrick has been murdered. Don’t know exact time of death, but we found him in the morning just outside the base, Sergeant Burman-Douglas was the first to spot his body.”

“Garrick’s dead?”

“Yes, sir.”

Shepherd paused for thought.

“Garrick will be noted as K.I.A just as Weir is. Any questions?”

Price sighed. A silence fell between them.

“Status on transport?” He finally asked.

“Can’t say for sure. Northolt have been notified but we haven’t got confirmation on whether we can move into Ashdown Forest or not.” Shepherd was awfully blunt, “No transport has been officially scheduled.”

“But-”

“I’m sorry, Bravo 6. There’s not much I can do.”

Captain Price felt a pit in his stomach form.

Shepherd rubbed his temple, looking back to the beautiful view of the night sky behind him. The man was miles away from the crime scene and yet, he could imagine Price beginning to narrow his eyes.

“Do you suspect foul play?” The general decided to take the plunge and ask the question, his voice crackling a little on the radio.

Graves and Price looked at each other.

“Yes.” Price said, “I do.”

He only got a hum in reply. Whether it was of agreement or acknowledgement could not be determined.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Captain. Keep surviving and keep me posted.

As Price chucked the radio out of his hand, letting it land on the rucksack by his bed, something caught his eye.

Across from him, on the other side of the aisle, the bedframe was off. The metal looked a little bent, there were strange marks on the floor. Marks, which upon closer inspection, revealed themselves to be claw marks.

His eyebrows raised.

Graves watched him get up from his seat and head over to the other side, squatting before the odd one out. The man had shrugged off this sudden bout of curiosity from the captain, just glad that Shepherd had said he’d make sure Northolt would start hauling ass to get someone to them soon.

Price looked about the bed for more clues.

There were claw marks on the floor, along with scratches on the wall behind the headboard.

And whose bed was this?

Well, according to the bag and if memory served well, this was none other than… MacTavish’s.

His breaths grew a little unsteady.

He would wait until the evening, give the murderer a little time to feed his ego, to think he had gotten away with it but, once they were having dinner, Price knew what he’d do.

Graves did too.

Phillip decided he’d use the time Price had given Soap to deliberate on whether he should let John do what he was about to do.

***

A small knock sounded on the doorframe of the medical room.

“Come in!” Dougs called, as she finished packing away her notebook.

Footsteps tentatively crept in, and she turned around to see Soap. However, he wasn’t looking too great. All the colour had drained from the man’s face and he seemed skittery, eyes darting about. She rose up from her squatted position by her bag, not entirely facing him, almost in a combat-ready stance.

“Soap… what’s wrong?”

He seemed almost reluctant to tell, his face twisting a little as an internal debate ensued.

She noticed he kept his right arm close to his chest, hidden with his left sitting on top of it.

“Soap?” She asked, softening her voice a little.

With tears welling in his eyes, he made to meet her gaze.

“I think it’s me, doc.”

He revealed what he had been hiding.

Dougs’ mouth was held agape.

Be professional. Don’t gawk. Don’t gawk.

Alarm bells were going off in her head, though.

His nails were beyond recognisable, blood crusting the edges where keratin met skin. His hand shook as he raised it up for her to get a better look. As she examined more closely, she realised that his nails had in fact been virtually destroyed, split apart by the rupturing of blackened claws.

“Holy shit…”

What she also spotted was strange black veins which spread from his newly emerged claws. They were faint, almost looking like they had been painted on by a thin makeup brush. Except there was a warmth to them, like they were organic structures, with blood flowing through them… a stark contrast to the paling skin they sat under.

“Sit on the bed, Soap.”

He nodded and hopped up.

Dougs sanitised her hands and slapped on the third-to-last remaining pair of gloves. She gestured for him to rest his hand in hers as she eyed them closely, getting a feel for the claws.

“Does it hurt when I press them like this?”

Gently, she applied some pressure to the skin around one of the talons. Soap winced.

“Yep.”

“Okay…” Dougs chewed on her lip, “Could you tell me when this happened?”

“Just now. I… I was in the bathroom, washing my hands when I felt this itching. I gave in, scratched at the back of my hand, around my knuckles when…”

“When what?”

“My hand just locked up, like it was spasming. And then, these pop out.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Yeah, but only for a moment. Now, they just sting.”

She really wasn’t sure what to do, nor was she sure what he wanted her to do.

Dougs sighed, though, in her exasperation and indecision, it came out more like a snort. Had she not have her gloves on, she would have scratched her head or stroked her chin. Instead, she resorted to spinning on the wheeled stool she sat on by Soap as a way of fidgeting as she thought.

MacTavish watched her slowly spin side to side, face making an array of ponderous expressions as she considered each and every action she could and couldn’t take.

Dougs definitely couldn’t remove the claws, they looked fixed in place, like his nails would have been. Alsos, removing them could cause more trouble anyway: more pain, increased risk of infection and so on. That was an abysmal idea. She could clean them up a little, though, which might help with the stinging in the long term and prevent infection from getting into the little open wounds from which those talon-like protrusions sprouted from. It was also the easiest thing to do.

Let’s go with the manicure.

“Okay, so, I can’t remove them, but I can clean them.”

Soap didn’t really look satisfied with that.

“Is… Is that it?”

“There’s not really much else. Plus, it might help with seeing what exactly is going on. That dried blood could be obscuring some information.” She suggested.

He shrugged but seemed to agree.

Dougs smiled and swivelled round before scooting over to the kit to grab a few alcohol wipes, some cotton balls, TCP, should it be required, and a bag to dispose them in.

Soap held out his hand. It quivered, which put Dougs at unease. As she tore open a wipe, she noticed the hand beginning to shake more.

Oh no… Don’t do this to me again.

She had to see it through, though! She had gotten everything out now, and she was also a tad bit curious to see what was under the blood. At this point, Dougs was ready to do just about anything if it would shed some light on this absolute disaster of a situation. Her hand hovered above Soap’s.

It was really shaking now.

“Soap, can you try and steady your hand?”

“I can’t.”

He was going to break her wrist, wasn’t he?

Was this a trap?

Was she taking the bait?

“Soap, do you want me to steady it? I can hold your hand still if need be.”

At least then she’d have some control over his arm.

And she was prepared to leap out of the way if he struck out with the other.

Dougs looked calm on the outside, taking steady breaths as she gestured for him to lay his wrist on her open palm, but make no mistake, outward appearances can be deceiving. Inside, she was screeching, a voice repeating in her head over and over for her to not do this. However, like with a wild animal, if you make a sudden move, they’ll respond. Dougs hoped if she gave out a calm aura, Soap wouldn’t freak out.

“Okay, so I’m just going to lightly dab-”

CRAAAACK!

“AHHHH!”

“AHHH!”

Both her and Soap jolted backwards.

His hand had steadied a little, before locking up, fingers tensing, then releasing and with that release… a new length of claws extended upwards. They pushed out with this awful sound, like some bones deep within Soap’s hand were snapping. With that, small tears had also formed on the back of his hand and on his forearm. Tears which bled a little, and also had… hair sprouting from the gashes.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” He shrieked, scrambling backwards, almost falling off the edge of the bed, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”

Dougs tried to shush him, not wanting to alert the barracks.

“Soap, let’s not panic, panicking will make this worse-”

“Dougs, look at my hand!”

He shoved it in her face.

“Look at it!”

Okay, yeah… looking.

Dougs gently moved his hand aside and rested it on his lap.

“We can’t lose our heads. You can’t lose your head, understood?”

His eyes were reddening with brewing tears, lip quivering. Blue eyes stared right into her soul, pleadingly.

“It’s me. I killed them, didn’t I?”

His voice was hoarse, whistling out his throat.

“What have I done, doc? What’s happening to me?”

Dougs paused for thought, wanting to avoid his eyes but they just followed her wherever she went. It was clear he had come to her for a diagnosis, for an answer, whether that confirmed his fears or not. She was his key. And yet, Soap found himself grinding his teeth, impatient, as she cursed him with unbearable silence. Dougs kept her eyes on the ground, once again swivelling side to side on her chair slowly, trying to think. It would be wrong to just regurgitate some falsehood and send him on his merry way but on the other hand, she hated to be the bearer of bad news which was ironic seeing as she was a doctor and that was part of the job.

She had to admit, if it was him, it was strange he had come to her. Sure, maybe telling everyone, especially Price would be a death sentence given his current state but… her?

Well, she supposed maybe the beast knew she had been snooping around. Actually, she didn’t suppose. She met him. Last night, down the hall.

This admission of guilt… Slowly, Dougs’ gaze rose to meet Soap.

He looked almost like a lost pup, eyebrows raised, peaking in the middle, while his eyes remained big and alert. A small flush was building on his face, distress and no doubt illness contributing to the slightly ruddy complexion.

She sighed and looked away briefly.

“It was me, wasnae it?”

“Are you asking, or telling me?” Dougs tilted her head to one side.

“I-”

“Honestly.”

He hung his head low.

“I don’t know.”

She leaned in, looking him in the eye, closely.

Soap held his breath, unsure of what to do as the medic just stared right into his soul. He backed up a little, as Dougs inched a little closer, eyes narrowing.

“It’s not you. It can’t be you.”

He was taken aback.

“What?”

She sighed and got on with cleaning up his bloodied hand.

“Dougs, what?”

The woman simply shrugged.

“It’s not you.”

He scoffed, letting out a small, hysterical giggle.

“What do you mean by that? It could be me. Dougs, A’ve got bloody claws!”

To his surprise, she shook her head.

“Just making sure, this is the first time this has happened?” Dougs queried, gesturing with an alcohol swab in hand.

Soap nodded.

“Yeah,” she chuckled, “I don’t think it’s you.”

What the…?

“Do you know something?”

Oooh, that was a good question. Dougs’ lips were pulled tightly into a thin line as she deliberated. She didn’t take Soap as the kind of guy to keep his mouth shut, especially when it came to something like this. He could very well oust her to the whole group if he thought that was the right thing to do, or perhaps share it with a confidante and who would then pass it along. There weren’t many of them left, if someone told someone and then that someone told someone else, it wouldn’t take long for the word to circulate.

A pang of guilt tugged at her heartstrings. He was scared, she could see that clearly.

Well, let’s see if he’s one for confidentiality.

“Can you keep a secret?”

He nodded, raising an eyebrow.

Dougs turned around and, to his surprise, took out the files like there was nothing to them.

“Uh… Dougs?!”

“Shh!”

The way she just brazenly put them on his lap, bold as brass.

She then walked up to the door, checked the hallways for any spies, before closing it.

“Open them.” She pointed to them.

Soap did so.

His eyes widened.

This… this was him. All these symptoms were him now and him to come.

Like an oracle telling the dreaded truths to come, the files bore details that filled his gut with dismay. His throat grew dry as he swallowed hard. Panic fluttered in his stomach.

Gently, he turned the page, only to be met with graphic images of bloodied jaws and… clawed hands.

“Oh my God…”

Dougs sat in front of him, tucking a lose braid behind her ear.

“Shepherd burned us.” Her face was serious, “More specifically, he’s burned you lot.”

“I… I’m going to…”

Soap’s grip on the files tightened a little.

“Hey! Don’t damage ‘em!” She quickly took the manila case from him, “Last thing we need is sticklers realising we’ve been meddling with them!”

His breaths had grown a little ragged. He clutched the sides of his head.

Dougs looked back to see he was beginning to freak out. Really freak out.

“Hey… Hey…” She knelt before him, gently removing his hands before he could hurt himself, “We’re going to survive this.”

“What if they take me away?! Do shit to me?! You’re fine! You’re immune!”

She ran her tongue over her teeth, letting out a small sigh of resignation.

“Soap, I’m on the menu.” That took a lot for her to say, “My fate isn’t either I live to be infected or die. Mine is just death.”

A lump formed in her throat.

Her worst fears were coming true.

This was a whole other level.

Hungry eyes were going to have a whole new meaning.

She stood up, trying to compose herself so she could comfort him properly. As Dougs was about to turn around, to briefly take her mind away from the present, Soap seized her. Her body gave a small jolt backwards at the sudden movement and consequent entrapment. His arms tightened around her waist.

That’s when she heard it: quiet sobs.

MacTavish had finally cracked.

He cried into her, sniffling, voices circulating around his head telling him he was doomed, telling him he was a disgusting animal.

Even if nothing happened… he’d still kill innocents either way.

That was his diagnosis: cursed.

Her hands hovered over him. She was still taken aback.

Only, to realise, as the sobs became more intense, she should probably be kind.

Dougs hushed him, letting him weep into her uniform. Despite feeling the sensation of cold as his tears soaked through, Dougs could also feel heat.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled, gulping for air, his breath trying to catch up.

Softly, she placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing circles with her thumbs as she looked to the door, staring idly off into the distance.

***

Ghost watched Soap hurriedly leave the medical room, wiping his face. He followed the man with his eyes, only for his attention to be diverted by new movement from his periphery.

Dougs leaned out of the doorway, looking drained.

He saw her drop her shoulders as she held the frame of the entrance.

Then, she stretched her arms out, deciding to head for the barracks.

Ghost spotted red.

A light tap was felt on Dougs’ shoulder. She turned around to see Riley looming over her.

He seemed awkward though, robotic almost, as he did his best to meet her gaze.

“Uh… Dougs,” he cleared his throat, “Dougs, you’re… bleeding.”

She looked up at him quizzically. Then, she looked down at herself and realised.

“Oh… fuck.” The woman groaned, “Rhaatid!”

She shouldn’t have ignored the cramping in her legs yesterday and this morning. She was also feeling fairly bloated, but she had just chalked that up to the shitty camping food. A sharp wave hit her, pinching right at her navel. And what followed was cold.

Toilet! Toilet! Toilet, now!

She began heading straight ahead, for the latrine, only to then change direction sharply for the barracks.

Spare trousers! Get spare trousers! No, toilet! Toilet after!

With that change of plan, Ghost watched the medic stop waddling ahead to then spinning on her heel to make for the barracks. Only she stopped, stood by the wall adjacent to the entrance.

She had no shame regarding this but… well, she sort of did, and the not-so-distant chatter between Price and Graves in the room punched a pit n her stomach. She didn’t want them to see. Didn’t want them to ask questions. They probably would pay no attention but… she didn’t know for sure.

This wasn’t supposed to be complicated. Dougs was overthinking it. A twinge of guilt flicked at her chest.

Her heart began to beat a little faster.

Dougs counted herself down. This was going to be quick. In and out. Get her spare clothes and whatever sanitary product was stashed in the depths of her rucksack and run away.

3… 2…

As she was about to go in, Ghost stopped her.

“Go to the bathroom.” He said, “I’ll get your shit. What do you need?”

Well… I mean… Okay!

“Spare trousers, underwear and see if there’s like a tampon or pad somewhere. I can’t remember if there’s a pack stashed or not but… yeah.”

“Copy. Go clean yourself up, Dougs.”

She smiled.

“Affirmative.”

Dougs found herself sitting on the toilet of the ramshackle bathroom just feeling grateful that they had running water. This place was a shithole, yes, but at least it was a functioning shithole.

There are worse shitholes.

She jigged her leg up and down, filling her cheeks with air and then blowing it out as she waited. The room was cold, and she felt that on her bare skin. Across from her sat her soiled garments, glimpse of red appearing between the folds as they sat sadly slumped in a pile.

She knew this would happen, seeing as the documents did say being in the presence of someone infected would cause menstrual bleeding for whatever reason; but she thought her birth control would save her from that.

Apparently not.

It would seem that lycanthropy trumps birth control.

A small knock sounded on the door. Then, it creaked slightly open, just wide enough for Ghost to get his arm through.

“Got your things.” He stated, waving the items in the air.

“Thanks.”

She leaned forward to grab them off of him.

***

“So,” Graves sighed, looking over his cards, “you still don’t want to open those files?”

Price shifted uncomfortably in his seat, not bothering to make eye contact.

“Shepherd will find out someone’s looked at them and that’ll cause us even more trouble.”

Graves sighed, poking his cheek with his tongue.

“I think we should. Something’s not right here.”

“Something’s not been right from the beginning.” The captain replied, stroking his moustache, just above his upper lip.

With a growl, Graves chucked the playing cards onto the ground and got up, marching to the medical room.

“Graves!” Price called after him.

He began to follow the man, occasionally reaching out to try and grab his arm, only to sorely miss.

Soon enough, he had been led to the dreaded room. Graves grabbed the waterproof bag and set in on the table. Then, like the implications and possible consequences of this action would mean nothing, he pulled out the manila files and spread them on the examination bed.

“We’re fucked.” Price shook his head.

“Ah, we were fucked from the start. Besides, it’s not like I wasn’t gonna get my hands on these files anyway.”

The captain cocked his head to one side.

“What do you mean?”

“I suppose a confession is in order, Captain.”

Price’s stomach twisted itself into knots as his muscles began to tense.

“I was going to steal these files off of y’all. Now, don’t do anything rash. I can explain. Shepherd hired my Shadows and I to get them off of y’all should things go wrong. My company is to be granted some of the spoils either way, whether you survived or not. Of course, we all know what happened to the Shadow team…”

Yep, they did all know. Graves was the sole survivor, getting dragged in by Dougs and Weir, howling at the top of his lungs in agony. His team had gotten it good, and the poor man would have most likely died if he hadn’t been found.

There were no more Shadows, but there was still Graves. He’d still get his prize if he lived.

“This is all a set up?”

“What do you think?”

Price paced back and forth. He should have known. No, he did know. He knew damn fucking well. He just didn’t want to admit it because he was scared. Weir’s remarks and her subsequent death had made it clear, but Price didn’t want to pay attention to it until the truth smacked him in the face.

“Fuck it. Open those files. If I’m dying, I’m dying in the know.”

He pulled up Dougs’ wheeled stool and took a seat.

The two men scanned over the pages, making all sorts of faces as they tried to miss the images that came along with the text. Price had never been good with graphic visuals; he would much rather have those things left to his imagination.

As Graves flicked over to the next page, Price grabbed his hand.

“Wait, go back.”

Phillip did so.

“The female participants instead experienced altered menstrual cycles… which resumed to their normal cycles once women were taken out of the experiment and away from the infected.” He read aloud.

Graves looked up to meet him, eyebrows raised.

“We can figure out who it is.” Price declared, a little glee glinting in his eye.

“How?”

“Whoever was in Dougs’ company when she started bleeding.”

“Are you sure that’ll do it?”

“Worth a try, ain’t it?”

Graves shrugged, scrunching his face up a little.

“How do we even know if she’s gotten her period?”

“We can ask.”

Graves burst out laughing.

“Ask?” He chuckled, “You think you can ask that and get an answer?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

The captain looked genuinely confused.

“Please!” Graves did his best to catch his breath, “You can’t ask. We got no time to ask.”

“Graves, what are you suggesting?”

#cod mw ii fic #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #phillip graves #captain john price #the plot thickens again!#baying dogs

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rathayibacter · 1 year ago

Note

thank you, wanted to make sure i wasn't derailing!

okay. let's talk Chuubo's.

Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine is my go-to example for games with mechanical complexity unrelated to combat, because combat's such an insignificant consideration that it's scarcely even mentioned as a possibility. Yeah, you can get into a swordfight, or battle a giant kaiju in the form of a ten-thousand-mile-long snake, but it's treated with the exact same mechanical and narrative weight as trying to cook a souffle or getting into an argument with your best friend.

Chuubo's is a game about a world rebuilding itself after the end. A war over Creation ended in the destruction of nearly all of reality, but all the lost little bits of the world have collected together in a place called Town, and life has begun to move on. most games of Chuubo's will focus on a particular group of friends, around middle school age, as they go about their everyday lives. my favorite aspect of this setup is that often PCs will be enormously powerful (the titular Chuubo, a perfectly ordinary young boy who built a machine to grant any wish out of scrap wood and bits of metal, is a perfectly valid starting character), but their power is often orthogonal to their actual goals and needs. Chuubo can make any wish come true, but that rarely helps him when he's trying to make friends, or do well in school. Natalia Koutolika can do anything perfectly, but that won't fix her frozen heart. Jasper Irinka is literally the Sun, but turns out being a sun god adds a lot of complications to being a teenager, and vice versa.

the core of the game is pretty simple, but every detail has a ton of intricacies. you have a set of stats, which represent your baseline competencies in a variety of different things, and a pool of Will that you can spend to reach beyond your usual limits. you've got some Quests that you're currently embarking on, some of which are shared with other players and some of which you're pursuing on your own. those Quests make up Arcs, which guide the broader shape of your character's narrative. you might have some Wounds and Issues to deal with, which'll stick around for a bit until they get better... or don't. and you probably have some strange powers, which you'll often use with a separate pool of Miraculous Will and which are tied to your development along a Miraculous Arc.

but okay, as an example, lets dig into one of those aspects. let's talk about Will. you start the game with 8/8 Will, and can spend it whenever you're using one of your skills to temporarily bump up its value. however, there's already two things to discuss here: first, the value of an action isn't about how successful it is, or at least not to an outside perspective. it's about how meaningful that action is to you, and how much of an effect it has on your life. if you're trying to paint like the masters, it takes a value of 6 for you to make something that'll impress a stranger, but only 1 to make something that'll satisfy you, and 3 to make something that'll impress someone you care about. you've probably also noticed by now that there's no dice involved here: you won't always know the outcomes of your actions, but you can be certain of how much you're putting into them, and what they're gonna mean to you. the second detail is that not every point of Will is spent equally. you can only ever spend will in increments of 0, 1, 2, 4, and 8, with 4 and 8 bringing with them additional costs. if you need to study for an exam tomorrow, spending 0 Will means you're not really trying, and you expect your natural talents to carry you through; spending 1 or 2 means you're putting some real effort into it; 4 means you're working yourself to the bone, really fucking up your sleep schedule and digging deep into your internal reserves; and 8 means you're throwing yourself at it so hard that the exertion might kill you.

so now you might be asking, how do i get Will back?

well.

every game's got a Genre. sometimes that Genre is stable, and its rules are unshakably true across a whole campaign. sometimes things are more in flux, and certain situations'll require different tones. you can think of them a bit like color palettes, they're not changing the fundamentals but they're a modifier on how things work. in a Pastoral campaign, based around quiet living and small interactions, you'll complete a chapter in the story of your life once a week, and refresh your Will then. a Gothic campaign, on the other hand, has timespans that're much more volatile; one chapter might span months, while the next might be a single, intense night. some genres, like Techno or the Road of Trials, cover a chapter every day, but might skip days that aren't quite as significant. Immersive Fantasy covers up to three chapters a day, as life comes at you fast.

Genres also change the XP Actions you have available, with XP being the currency you spend on Quests to progress them, and once we start talking about XP we'll be talking about Emotive XP and Quest XP, and then about Arc progression and Arc Colors and all the ways these mechanics connect and associate with each other. we haven't even talked about Miraculous Will yet, lmao. once you start delving in, the inner workings of the game can quickly surround you.

now, i want to be clear. i don't say this all to scare you off. it's actually a very approachable game, especially since the vast majority of the mechanics can be set aside and introduced only if your group is interested. i mention all this because, fundamentally, it's an elaborate and interconnected mechanical system focused exclusively on personal growth and relationships. can you get into fights with it? sure! you can write "kicking ass 5" as one of your skills on your character sheet, and then beat the hell out of whoever gets in your way. one of the advancements along the Ace Miraculous Arc lets you treat your mind and body as though you're a grizzly bear with a supercomputer for a brain, which lets you trivialize basically any hand-to-hand fight but also can make you a master weightlifter/accountant, if you'd prefer. even if you've got no interest in playing it, id highly recommend giving it a read, because it does a lot to open up the possibility space of tabletop games beyond adventurers fighting monsters in caves.

What's a good rules heavy game that isn't about fighting people?

Hmmm, this one is tough because like... due to a variety of factors combat tends to be the one place where games dedicate the most page space. Most rules heavy games tend to advertise their heaviness in terms of, like, "our combat system can model so many different types of damage."

But there is one game which I think is high crunch and whose gameplay loop isn't built purely around combat (although it does have a combat system): Burning Wheel. Burning Wheel is an interesting game because it is a relatively simple system (d6 dice pool system, 4 or higher counts as successes, the more successes the better) and then just builds a bunch of really complicated systems on top of it.

Characters develop purely via using their skills. There's like two (or three? I can't quite remember) different metagame currencies you can spend. Beyond your stats and skills your character is determined via their Beliefs, Instincts and Traits which all feed into the game's reward structure of granting you those aforementioned metagame currencies. The first detailed subsystem the game gives you is a social combat system where you pick social maneuvers and social defences like in that AD&D 1e psionic combat system and you can talk your opponent into changing their beliefs or manipulate their beliefs against them and and and

As said, the game does have a combat system, and it's exhaustively detailed too, but using it is optional and lots of combats can be resolved in simple opposed checks, and saying that Burning Wheel is about fighting people would be an unfair characterization. At its heart the thing that powers it is that system of character advancement through doing things and living according to your character's evolving beliefs, instincts and traits. Sometimes it means fighting people, but a lot of the time it can be just about trying to convince your lord not to attack the elves or something.

I almost feel it's a weird indie cousin to Rolemaster, in that both are kinda Tolkieny rules heavy fantasy RPGs, but whereas Rolemaster is very clearly a D&D while trying to be a fantasy world simulator, Burning Wheel has a very single-minded focus.

#ttrpgs #thanks for reading! this was a real long one lmao #gotta rep one of my favorite games of all time #and apologies to Jenna Moran for all the mistakes ive certainly made in writing this out

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emirkubilay · 2 years ago

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featuring …

{ emre bey, twenty-two, cis man, he/him } is that emir kubilay? a junior originally from manhattan, ny, they decided to come to ogden college to study linguistics. they’re the karma houdini on campus, but even they could get blamed for greer’s disappearance. **greer’s childhood friend

( stats. biography. connections. muse tag. pinterest. playlist. )

introduction.

✦ full name. emir kubilay ✦ name meaning. prince, local king (turkish) ✦ age. twenty - two ✦ date of birth. may 25, 2000 ✦ place of birth. ankara, turkey ✦ ethnicity. turkish ✦ gender. cis-male ✦ pronouns. he/him ✦ sexual orientation. heterosexual closeted bisexual ✦ major. linguistics ✦ extracurriculars. soccer captain, book club, golf, theatre collective

background.

Born in Ankara, Turkey. Emir is the eldest son of Aslan Kubilay, a well-known journalist who has worked for several major news outlets; and Yasemin Kubilay, a lawyer and the current permanent representative of turkey to the united nations.

His younger sister was born two years after and while he’s not the worst of brothers, he’s also not the most supportive and he would much rather be an only child. It just would be mentally less exhausting.

After his mother was appointed as a representative, the Kubilays relocated to New York when Emir was six years old. The move was difficult for him because his English was poor and he was constantly bullied because of his accent. This, however, only pushed him to learn the language as best he could, and it was at this point that he discovered his passion for languages.

tw alcoholism: Despite his father's brilliance and universal adoration, Emir despised him. He was never really present in their lives, not because of work, but because he spent his free time getting wasted (he was so good at concealing his problem that only his family knows about his alcoholism), and when he did spend time with his family, he was a jerk.

Emir grew up spoiled, and even though his feelings for his father were rotten, he was still Aslan's golden boy and favorite. Of course, despite his resentment, Emir wasn't stupid, and he would frequently take advantage of his parents' favoritism towards him.

He began playing golf when he was four years old as a way to "bond" with his father, and going to the course is probably one of the few good memories he has with him. He considered becoming a professional golfer at first. He competed in a number of junior tournaments and was even ranked fifth in the World Amateur Golf Ranking.

Emir debuted as a professional golfer after graduating from high school, but he only stayed on the tour for about six months before deciding it wasn't the lifestyle he wanted to pursue. As it was too late to apply to university, he took a job as an intern at the news agency where his father worked but he hated every second of it.

While his grades were not the worst, they were not good enough to get him into an Ivy League on his own. However, his parents wanted the best of the best for their son and they made a generous donation to Ogden and magically he was accepted.

tw illness: Two years ago, his father was diagnosed with a liver disease brought on because of alcohol and he was sent to rehab (which the people outside his family never found out). However, his father’s liver was in such a bad shape that he required a transplant. As awful as it sounds, Emir turned down being the donor but after his mother begged him, he donated part of his liver to him. He masked his absence by claiming he had appendix surgery.

At Ogden, he is an active member of some clubs and he is the soccer captain but he often tends to neglect the academic part of it. He does well in exams but his grades are not as good as they could be because he makes the minimum effort. He has no idea what he’s going to do after graduation, maybe start a masters just for the sake of not getting a real job.

relationship to greer.

Greer Morrison was that girl, his first friend in a new foreign country. He was six years old, a few months older than her, and despite his broken English he managed to win Greer’s coveted friendship. Emir, despite his short age, noticed how everyone desired to be near her, to bask in her light. It's unclear how he got her attention; perhaps it was her youth's naivety that prevented her from seeing all of his flaws, whatever it had been he was determined to keep it. It would have been so easy to fall into the banality of the childhood friend who ends up falling in love with someone as perfect as Greer but beyond some teen infatuation boosted by hormones, Emir never felt anything more than friendship for her. Their friendship was an atypical one, they stopped being each other’s best friend as they grew older and met people more akin to them. However, once in a while, he would hear a knock on his window and they would end up talking all night only to not speak again for weeks. They would mostly hang out during the summers, their summer houses also being next to each other. Those weeks in the Hamptons always felt like going back in time and they were kids again. Around Greer, Emir allowed himself to be more childish, adventurous which was always refreshing. College was a way to bring them back together, they would run into each other often and end up reminiscing of old times while also catching up. By the time Greer disappeared, they were spending more time together, texting and rekindling the friendship they both had neglected years before.

the karma houdini.

It’s hard to believe but Emir has never been grounded, not even once. Sure, he’s been scolded multiple times but somehow he always got away with every mischief he did. Perhaps it is luck but he simply has mastered the act of persuasion. It’s all in his family reputation and their immaculate reputation for being honest. His father an award-winning journalist and his mother a diplomat, veracity should run through his blood. He was far too young to understand the magnitude of moving from Ankara to New York, all he knew is they packed it all, hopped on a plane and suddenly was in a land where he could barely understand what others said. Perhaps his life would have turned much different, perhaps he would have turned up to be the better version of himself (the one he pretends to be) if they had never joined the New York elite. It's not that Emir enjoys not being the nicest or the most humble, but karma has avoided him long enough to convince him that he is the exception to the rule: there are no consequences to his actions, and even if there were, he is so used to not dealing with the repercussions that he doesn't care. But too many concessions allowed resentment to grow in him; he holds grudges and can be retaliatory at times. Nonetheless, Emir has worked to conceal this part of him and he can play either play the part of the most starry-eyed idealist or the bitterest of cynics.

#ogdenintro #tw alchoholism #tw illness #1000 years later

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biletdoux · 4 years ago

Text

stages of love | j.jh

Pairing | jung jaehyun (nct) + female!reader Rating | M Genre + Tropes | college!au, romance (angst, fluff, smut) Warnings | explicit language, alcohol consumption, instant love?, sexual content (drunk sex, receiving and giving oral, penetration, cow girl position, nipple play), greyzone fidelity Length | 15k+

Summary | A playlist for the trials and tribulations of a beating heart

(Or; your relationship with Jung Jaehyun in ten songs.)

Note: ahhhhhhh!!!! we finally did it boisssss. this fic has been a long time coming and honestly im sick and tired of jaehyun. i’ve spent too long thinking about him for this fic smh. this is also my first time writing smut so we’ll see how that goes lmao. anyway this was a long labor of love so please let me know what you thought of it !!! <333

1. Peach by IU

smitten at first sight.

“How can I explain this feeling?”

“Alright, I think that sums up about everything we need to cover for today’s lecture. Remember, most of this will be on your final exam. Any questions before you’re all dismissed?”

Your professor looks up from the board, scans the room and all he sees are most of the students waiting with bated breath, itching to leave the class, and half of those students having already packed their belongings in anticipation. He held them back an extra twenty five minutes today, which is notably longer than previous lectures in which he delayed dismissal.

“Okay, you’re free to go. Chapters nineteen and twenty are due the next time we meet.”

You breathe out a sigh of relief, ready to head out with the rest of the class. You like Professor Jang and find that he makes history somewhat digestible, but he has a tendency to lose track of time, which is inconvenient, but more so today since you have agreed to meet up with Yeri. You glance at your phone to see text notifications and curse to yourself. You’re already ten minutes late and Yeri is many things and impatient is one of them.

You’re one of the first out of the small lecture hall and you shoot her a quick reply before making your way to the oncampus cafe. Through quickened strides and shortcuts engrained from cross-campus treks from class to class, you arrive in record time. You’re slightly out of breath and impressed by your speed, but you stop, frozen in your tracks when you see Yeri’s displeased face. You find her situated in a small, but cozy corner next to the windows, already unpacked with notebooks and papers strewn on the desk ready to review for exams. It's one of the best study spots in the cafe and you immediately know your best friend had to come extra early to nab such a sought after table.

“About time,” she scowls, “what took you so long?”

You shoot her an apologetic look, “aww, Yeri,” you pout your lips a little too dramatically, “I’m sorry. I just came from history and you know how Professor Jang is.”

Yeri looks at your jutted lips in disgust, but then her face softens in consideration. “Hm, I do know Jang.” She scrunches up her nose remembering her time in his class last semester. “That old man can talk for days on end and he never lets anyone leave class early. I guess I’ll let you go this time.”

You beam at her knowing she’s no longer angry for your tardiness. “Great, drinks are on me today. It’s the least I can do for being late.” Yeri forgives as easily and as quickly as she loses her temper. You learned this after a few weeks of being her roommate.

Yeri says nothing in silent agreement and you place your stuff down across the table next to the chair she reserves for you. You pull out your wallet and weave through the packed cafe to head to the order counter. The line is long and you patiently review the menu. Your roommate has consistent tastes and always orders a vanilla frappuccino regardless of which cafe she goes to, but you base your decision on your mood. You mull over your choices and by the time you reach the barista taking your order, you decide you’re in an ‘iced Americano’ kind of mood today. You have exams on top of exams you need to review for and a stronger caffeine kick is much needed.

After paying, you head back to the table with two drinks in tow. Yeri takes her drink and after you both take a few sips and catch up for the day, you dive straight to work. The two of you decide to review for statistics.

Between re-summarizing chapters and answering review questions, you muse to yourself about how your college experience thus far hasn't been that much different from your high school life. You didn’t necessarily hate high school, per say, but it was safe to say you didn’t enjoy it. Your heart was in the arts, specifically music, and you had found studying the core subjects to be boring and tedious. You remember being ecstatic to have been accepted and enrolled in a performing arts college, foolishly thinking your days of solving differential equations and memorizing chemical formulas were over. You specifically remember daydreaming of your hours being filled with keyboard practice and composition notes and only such things. Somehow the reality of mandatory general education courses slipped your mind when you constructed such fantasies.

Despite frivolous and preconceived notions of college, you have already survived a semester and you are nearly through your second.

“Hey, do you remember when this stats assignment is due?” Yeri’s inquiring voice snaps you out of your brief reverie and you search your cluttered brain for a date.

“Uh, I think it’s due, like, a few days before the final, but I’d have to double check.”

Yeri nods. “Alright, well let’s take a small break. We have some time till then, we don’t have to finish all of it today.”

You happily agree and set down your pen. Yeri takes a sip of her frappuccino and you lean over the table to get closer to her. “Anyway, did you hear about what happened with Jiwon and Youngjae from the entertainment management department?”

Her eyes glisten with wicked interest. “No. Do tell.”

Break time is always synonymous with gossip hour between you and Yeri.

You spend the next fifteen minutes dishing what you know and Yeri offers her own input whenever she feels fit.

“And they think they’re being discreet, but the whole dorm knows they’ve been sneaking around, but guess wha─” Before you can finish your sentence, you are cut off by a loud and energetic voice calling out Yeri’s name.

The two of you look up to see a slim and boyish brunet waving to Yeri and excitedly making his way to your table. He looks vaguely familiar, but you can’t quite place your finger on it, so you let it go.

He smiles happily at Yeri and greets her. “Hey Yeri, how’s it going?” He notices you there and gives you a polite wave, which you return in the same manner.

Yeri replies back breezily, but with her full attention. “Good. Did you need anything, Mark?”

He flushes just the slightest bit, but it doesn’t escape your eyes. “Erm, nothing I just wanted to remind you that we’re meeting for the music theory project tomorrow at four. I would’ve texted, but I forgot to get your number in class, and I saw you here and thought it was a good opportunity to tell you.”

Yeri’s eyes widen, “ah right! I completely forgot about it. It’s a good thing you found me here today, huh? Here, I’ll give you my number.”

She reaches her hand out her hand expectantly, and Mark is confused before scrambling to pull out his phone. You can tell Mark looks flustered while Yeri is calmly putting in her contact information. After finishing, she hands his phone back, “okay, all set. Just shoot me a text so I have your number as well. Thanks for reminding me today or I probably would’ve forgotten and not have shown up or something.”

Mark smiles again, this time a little more sure than before. “All good. I’ll see you tomorrow, Yeri.”

They wave goodbye and you watch Mark scamper from the cafe. Your eyes follow him, but Yeri is already focused on you again, paying Mark’s retreating form no mind.

“So…” you start.

“So?” She returns.

“He’s cute.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she shrugged. “I barely know him though. We have music theory together, but this is the first time we’ve talked all semester and we’re only talking because we got paired up for a project.”

Yeri seems apathetic and you study her closely. You notice she’s acting a little too stiffly carefree to be truly indifferent to the situation. You can’t help, but to tease her a bit. “Well, make the most out of this project then.”

Yeri gives you a hard look and you decide to let it go despite finding your best friend’s situation to be amusing.

“Anyway, keep telling me about Jiwon and Youngjae. You never finished.” Yeri changes the topic, knowing that you might decide to pester her again if she doesn’t.

“As I was saying,” you started up again. A figure outside catches your attention and you peer outside through the window past Yeri’s shoulders. You realize it’s Mark and you watch with interest as he gestures excitedly, pointing to something in his hand, you assume his phone, to some of his friends. From there your eyes wander absentmindedly from one person to the next, and it’s when you see him.

The reaction is almost instantaneous.

“Like you were saying?” Yeri urges, but her words fall on deaf ears, for all your attention is captured by the boy next to Mark with heart-shaped lips.

When you see said boy laugh, you notice he has moon for eyes and you unconsciously suck in a sharp breath. You must have been staring too intently without noticing because he turns his head in your direction and you two hold direct eye contact. Like a deer caught in headlights, you freeze and lose all rational thought. Your head is completely blank. You have never seen someone so beautiful and your mind does not know how to process any sensory information at the moment.

Someone calls the boy away and the entire group of friends leave. It’s only then do you find yourself releasing a breath you didn’t know you had been holding onto so tightly. Your heart is pounding and you feel as though blood is rushing through your ears.

“Hello?” Yeri sounds annoyed, but you struggle to find the words to answer her.

You feel a sudden heat rush to color your cheeks a vibrant red and a feeling surges through you that leaves you out of breath and weak at the knees. A steady warmth washes over you quietly and you feel it deep within yourself and you can’t help but let out a small laugh.

How silly, you muse. Not to be dramatic, but you think you’re in love.

2. Shadow by f(x)

adoration from afar.

“I’m really really into you.”

The next few weeks are packed to the brim with assignments and papers, but despite this, you still find time for your personal research into the boy who was with Mark that day.

Being the obvious first and easiest option, you beg Yeri to ask Mark directly about his friend, but she immediately shoots you down.

“No. Absolutely not. At least not anytime soon anyway,” she huffs. “I’ve barely held two full conversations with him, like hell the next is gonna be about his friend just cause my best friend started thirsting over him after one glance. I mean come on, girl.” She shakes her head at you.

Yeri’s right and you apologize to her for being thoughtless of her situation. She doesn’t say it, but she seems really hopeful about the music theory project and what might bloom from it. You would not want to impede on such possibilities of happiness for your friend, so you let that option go, but Yeri promises to help in other ways and she does.

Somehow between caffeine fueled cram sessions and sleep deprivation, you, with Yeri’s help manage to find out more about the boy. You casually ask around in your contemporary writing and production department and she offers help by searching her vocal performance department.

You find out his name is Jung Jaehyun and he’s a third year in the musical theatre department and that he’s a member of the local chapter of the performing arts fraternity on campus. You also discover his Instagram handle and you find yourself skimming through his page throughout the day more often than you’re willing to admit to any living soul.

You occasionally see him around campus since you first saw him at the cafe and each time, you can feel your heart hammer in your chest and you become so flustered to the point of your sympathetic nervous system activating. Unfortunately for you, your body unconsciously chooses flight each and every time at the sight of Jaehyun because you can always feel your knees go weak and your body lurch away to escape in any direction that isn’t Jaehyun’s. You kind of hate yourself each time you do, but you can’t help it. He’s just so pretty that it’s intimidating!

You try to think positive after the bouts of shame you experience after each escapade.

Well there’s no way to embarrass yourself in front of him if you run away before having the chance to, right?

Even thinking about it now in the comfort of your bed, you can’t shake your self-consciousness and bury your face in a large pillow resting on your knees. Your cheeks are burning and you don’t know what to do.

“Hey, why don’t you just talk to him, instead of moping all day and stalking his profile like a creep.” Yeri’s crisp words cut through your musings and you glance up to see her entering your shared room in the dorms.

“Shut up. It’s not like I have a benevolent match-making professor who happens to pair me up with my crush for an end-of-semester project.” You retort back before sighing dramatically, “I literally have no excuse to talk to him. We’re not in the same year or major. We don’t even have mutual friends. Unless, y’know, you and Mark hit it off, who knows.”

Yeri sits down next to you on your small twin bed, resting her head on your shoulder while letting out an equally dramatic sigh, “yeah, well, Mark’s so dense, all the divine intervention in the world isn’t going to help me.”

You let out snort, “what’s up with you two anyway?”

“Y’know, I could’ve sworn he was into me and I had a chance with him, but every time we meet up we literally only work on the project and nothing else. Every time I sort of tried to do something I get shot down. Like I told him I was kind of chilly today in the library, and he looks all thoughtful for a moment but all he ends up saying is ‘yeah, all the buildings on campus are always cold, huh? Good thing I always bring a jacket with me. You should bring one too next time, I don’t want you getting cold.’ And then he just turns back to the project like nothing. Can you believe him?” Yeri complains and you swear her annoyance is palpable. “And every time I text him to hangout, he thinks it’s to work on the project. I honestly can’t tell if he’s really that stupid or if he’s just not into me.”

You laugh at her unfortunate, but undeniable state of love affairs.

“Really? That bad? I remember him being all blushy when he asked for your number,” you recall. “And you should’ve seen how he looked when he showed off he got your number. Well that’s what it looked like anyway, I could be wrong.”

“Well, at least I’ll get a good grade though. Mark is nothing if not diligent and hard-working, with him being a double major and all.” Yeri sounds resigned however, she sighs again, this time more frustrated and you hear the determination in her voice. “Alright, after finals, for sure we’re gonna hit the clubs. We need to let loose, have some fun.”

You agree with her to appease her short temper, but deep down you feel disappointed. You feel sorry for your friend, having genuinely wanted Mark and her to work out, but a small and selfish part of you felt sorry for having no bridge to Jaehyun at all if it didn’t work out between Yeri and Mark. Looks like you were stranded now and you’d have to find a way to Jaehyun one way or another, but your line of help ends here.

Shaking away such negative thoughts, you think to yourself how soju bombs and dance floors don’t so bad after such an intense exam period after all. It will definitely take your mind off of things for sure.

And even though you say this to yourself, you know your mind will still be plagued with Jung Jaehyun no matter how much you try.

3. What Is Love by EXO-K

careful contemplation.

“I can’t explain what I feel.”

“Mark, tell me you did not.” The disbelief in Johnny’s voice made the situation all the more hilarious and even Jaehyun, who’s the calmer of the two, couldn’t suppress the guffaw from escaping his lips.

The tips of Mark’s ears flush a light pink and he tries to deliver a convincing argument, but all that comes out is a meek stammer, further driving Johnny up the wall.

When Mark came up to his and Johnny’s room asking for advice, Jaehyun had an idea of where it was going to lead, considering Mark’s clueless disposition and inexperienced track record, but Jaehyun had no idea it was going to be this bad.

Mark, having developed a crush on a fellow vocal performance major in his music theory class, came to Johnny, his frat big, to spill his guts and ask for advice constantly. Being Johnny’s roommate, meant Jaehyun was also privy to all the details of Mark’s love life and he had no problem giving advice to the amusing first year student, which Mark appreciated because going to Johnny meant a clowning session before he could get any useful nuggets of information.

When Mark’s music theory professor randomly assigned the two for the end of semester project, Mark was one part excited and two parts nervous, resulting in a frazzled mess. He has been going up to the second room on the right of the second floor of the frat house almost every other day to ask for advice since then.

Johnny was thrilled when he initially heard of the project, already envisioning his little’s love prospects, stating something along the lines of “my little’s gonna get laid!”

However, now looking at Johnny rubbing his temples in exasperation, Jaehyun can tell that his roommate’s initial enthusiasm has dissipated.

Mark’s daily roadblock today consisted of his crush giving him the cold shoulder and being much more snappy than before in the project meet up earlier. Mark recalls Yeri’s anger toward him and racks his brain for an answer. Even Johnny and Jaehyun are stumped at the sudden behavior, assuming that things were going smoothly from Mark’s previous reports filled with clumsy, but endearing and ultimately positive signs. It’s only when Mark offhandedly mentions her so-called ‘strange’ comment about the temperature, does it become clear why Yeri’s attitude suddenly shifted so drastically.

“I mean, I don’t know what I did wrong.” Mark’s second attempt to defend himself has Johnny flaring his nostrils in indignation and Jaehyun has to turn away in an attempt to stifle his laughter.

“Dude, she’s so into you. Or, at least she was, I don’t know about it anymore.” Johnny starts after calming down. “She left herself wide open for you to take a clear shot and you effectively said to her face, ‘thanks but no thanks’ and then walked away. No wonder she’s pissed, I’d be pissed too.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do then?” Mark counters.

“Mark,” Johnny begins, his tone dry and coarse, “you’re killing me.”

Jaehyun deems this the perfect time to step in, the laughter about done coursing through his system at this point. He clears his throat before offering his input, “It’s not too, too bad. Johnny’s just being dramatic. If she likes you enough, she’ll probably forgive you if you play your cards right from here on out.”

Mark perks up, his attention solely on Jaehyun.

Jaehyun hums absentmindedly to himself, gathering and organizing his thoughts to properly explain exactly where and how Mark went wrong and what to do moving forward. When Jaehyun opens his mouth to speak, Mark is glued on to every word and Jaehyun can see the gears in his brain whirring at high speeds.

By the time Jaehyun is done, Johnny has calmed down and Mark nods his head fervently in understanding.

“Ah, that makes so much sense now! I got it now.”

Despite his assurances, both Johnny and Jaehyun know Mark will be back soon.

“Alright little, listen up,” Johnny starts. “Here’s the game plan from here on out.”

Johnny goes off on a sermon, determined to help his little ‘get some’ as Johnny so delicately puts it. Jaehyun can see it’s not the most tasteful of word choice for Mark to hear, but the youngest says nothing.

Lounging lazily in the bean bag on his side of the room, Jaehyun knocks his head back and thinks of a few weeks back when he accompanied Mark and some other frat members to the rec center for some basketball. Jaehyun remembers Mark was bemoaning the fact he forgot to ask for some girl’s number and it was as if a higher entity heard the boy’s laments and felt especially gracious, because right as they were passing the cafe, Mark stopped in his tracks and suddenly ran off into the busy building.

The group of frat boys watched him excitedly weave his way through the crowd of bodies and occupied tables to reach a table with two girls. When they saw the girl putting her number into Mark’s phone, Johnny elbowed Jaehyun, and like a proud parent Johnny exaggeratedly acknowledged his little. “They grow up so fast, don’t they, Jaehyun.” Johnny even wiped an imaginary tear from his eye to really send the message home.

It was only a few moments later and Mark came bounding out of the cafe, eager to show everyone how lucky it was that he happened to see her. “I mean what are the odds, right?” the said boy exclaimed so happily, his cheer so infectious, Jaehyun couldn’t help himself from letting out a laugh of his own.

Jaehyun turned to give Mark an encouraging pat on the back and it’s when he notices a pair of eyes on him. He turns fully to come in the direct line of sight of a girl whose eyes, Jaehyun imagined to have been very warm, had they not been burning holes into him. Her intense gaze slightly unnerved him, but not to the point of pulling away. He found himself entranced and the only thing that broke the quick spell was Johnny’s voice, calling him to move it along.

Jaehyun recalls easily breaking eye contact and giving little thought to the strange girl with fire for eyes, but as the days passed, Jaehyun couldn’t shake the thought of her from his mind.

Even now in the comfort of his room and with Johnny and Mark not even a foot away, carefully planning Mark’s love endeavors, all Jaehyun’s mind can really focus on is the thought of you.

Jaehyun is sure he’s only looked at you for less than a minute, but somehow he’s able to clearly trace out the image of you that day, like a perfect snapshot.

“Yo Jaehyun,” Johnny calls. “You good? You’ve been spacing out, bro.”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Jaehyun answers offhandedly, before contemplating to himself. Was he good? Jaehyun wouldn’t necessarily say he’s bad in any way, but it isn’t normal for him to have the thought of a girl remain so clearly engraved in his mind for so long, and even less common for it to actually be a girl he doesn’t even know nonetheless. It’s not a pressing issue, but it does bother him. He weighs over the next steps in his mind.

“Alright, just making sure.”

With one last thought, Jaehyun concludes to himself that it’s time to tackle his concern at hand head-on.

“Actually,” he starts, “Mark, do you remember the girl next to Yeri the day you asked for her number?”

Mark quirks his head in thought and Jaehyun can see Johnny raise his eyebrows in sudden interest.

“Uh kinda,” Mark answers. “I think she’s a CWP major. I’m pretty sure we shared an arranging class last semester, but like, I don’t know her personally or anything; it was a large lecture. To be honest, I don’t even think she recognized me at all, judging from her reaction that day. Why, what’s up?”

Jaehyun nods, absorbing the information, giving Johnny ample time to fire away.

“Yeah Jaehyun,” Jaehyun can visualize the glint in Johnny’s eyes just from hearing his mischievous tone. “What is up? I haven’t seen you ask about a girl in a hot minute. Thought you suddenly went abstinent without telling me or something.”

Jaehyun isn’t quite sure how to reply. Without a doubt you were cute to Jaehyun and he wouldn’t be opposed for things to happen between the two of you, but he doesn’t even know you! Well, not that it’s been a problem for Jaehyun in the past, but your lingering presence bothers him in ways he cannot communicate. Why is that the thought of you won’t leave him and why does it bother him so much?

Jaehyun decides to be straightforward, as straightforward as his muddled brain allows him to be. “She’s cute. I wanna get to know her.”

“Okay, Jaehyun.” Johnny whoops obnoxiously. “I see you.”

Mark is surprised and suddenly Johnny is all fired up again. Abruptly, Johnny shoots up and the determination that burns in his eyes is admirable.

“I’ve got it!” He declares proudly.

Jaehyun and Mark are quiet, waiting patiently for him to continue. They say nothing, knowing there is not a thing that can reach him when Johnny gets like this.

“We’re throwing a party and you bet your ass your two girls are gonna be there.”

4. Heaven by Ailee

walking on Cloud 9.

“When I hear your voice, it feels like I’m dreaming.”

You look up at the two-story house before you and wonder how you got here. Actually, you don’t wonder at all because you know exactly how you ended up at the steps of the local performing arts fraternity at your college, but you sigh regardless, as if someone had weaseled you into being here. Your nerves gnaw at you and you feel your stomach doing all types of aerobic tricks, the feeling reminiscent of the sensation before the roller coaster drops.

Yeri grabs your hand and pulls you excitedly to the front door. You can feel the thrum of music emanating from the building.

You recall how Yeri almost jumped you to tell the good news.

Finals flew by without any major hitches, ignoring sleepless nights and caffeine crashes. You don’t know how you’ll do, but you’re satisfied with your exam performances. You were in the clear and were just waiting for Yeri to present her joint music theory project before the both of you could finally let loose as a celebration to end the school year.

You waited for her outside of the classroom building as promised, playing with your phone to past time until you were suddenly engulfed by a delighted pair of arms. Yeri hugged you tight; she was in high spirits, seemingly from acing her presentation and you hugged her back in congratulations. She pulled at you closer and whispered in your ears, “just say yes.”

You were confused, but looked up to see Mark headed toward the two you. Yeri released you, leaving one arm still slung casually over your shoulder.

“Hey guys. My frat’s throwing a party tonight to celebrate finishing exams. I was wondering if, uh, you guys wanted to come? I mean you don’t have to, it’s totally optional.”

You didn’t say anything at first and Yeri interjected, “Of course!” She smiled at you innocently despite harshly pinching you to respond, her action hidden from Mark’s sight. “We’d love to, right?”

“Uh,” you answered distractedly. “Y-yeah, sure.”

“Great.” Mark beamed. “Party starts at eight. I gotta go help set up, so I’ll see ya there!”

And with that, he left as soon as he arrived and you looked at Yeri questioningly for answers. “I thought we were hitting downtown tonight. What happened to club hopping?”

Yeri smiled devilishly, “change of plans. I’ll tell you more about it later. The most important thing is finding the perfect outfit for you tonight, cause Jaehyun’s gonna be there.”

And so, here you find yourself dressed in high-waisted shorts and a cute top that took an embarrassingly long time to decide on. You are greeted by the fraternity president at the door of the house, Taeyong you think his name is, and he gives you two a quick verbal tour of the place, really emphasizing where to get drinks. Yeri thanks him for the both of you and you enter the crowded house. You think at least half of the performing art majors must’ve been here judging by the sheer volume of packed bodies.

You remember Yeri explaining how she and Mark may have been making a breakthrough and this party was imperative for its success. You were completely okay attending for that reason alone, because after all, what kind of person sends her best friend to a frat party alone? However, your resolve to go was set in stone after she explained that the frat that was throwing the party just happened to be the same frat Jaehyun was a member of.

“And y’know, seeing as how you’ve been obsessing over him the past few weeks, it’s the perfect opportunity.”

You frown remembering her words and make your way to the kitchen with Yeri in tow. Various beverages, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, crowd the table and you recognize the guy standing nearby idly chatting with others. It’s Jaemin, an acting major in your history lecture with whom you frequently exchange notes with when either one of you decides to flake for the day. You vaguely recall him mentioning his fraternity association, but didn’t realize it happened to be this one. He sees the two of you approaching the drink table and he smiles widely.

“Oh hey, what’s up?” Jaemin greets casually. “Didn’t expect to see you here. How’d you think you did in the history final?”

You groan. “I don’t even want to talk about it. What’s important is that we’re finished and I won’t ever have to think about the WWII timeline for, hopefully, forever.”

“Amen,” Jaemin laughs. “I’ll drink to that.” He raises up his red solo cup to cheers, before realizing both you and Yeri had nothing to drink.

“Oh shit, I’m a pretty bad host, huh? First thing I should've done was get you two something to drink.” He chides himself, but his tone is playful. “What can I get for you, ladies?”

Before you can think about what you want, Yeri cuts you off, her tone matching Jaemin’s. “How about some shots to start off and we’ll forgive the lack of hospitality.”

Jaemin laughs again. “Alright, I like it.” His hands are adept at weaving around the table and finding the paper shot cups and the vodka. “Svedka’s okay, right?”

“We’re not picky.” You and Yeri agree. You take the shot in one gulp and the unpleasant burning in your throat makes you wince.

“Can I get you two anything else?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I think another shot and then a mixed drink. Anything’s fine, but preferably on the stronger side.” You look over at Yeri and she nods in agreement.

“Coming right up.” Jaemin agrees easily.

He pours the two of you another shot and you think he must be a generous guy because the shot is overflowing. You and Yeri cheer once more while Jaemin gets to work mixing a cherry bourbon with some Coke. He tops off the drinks with some ice before handing it over to the both of you. “Here they are. Enjoy, ladies.”

You thank him and take a sip before excusing yourself to make your way around the party. The drink is sweet and the smoky aftertaste of the bourbon gives it a pleasant edge. You and Yeri are attached to the hip as you drift from one part to another around the party, making easy going small talk along the way. You are sufficiently buzzed by this point and feel much lighter as though the party was somehow two degrees removed from your senses. You look over to check on Yeri and she’s noticeably drunker than you are, giggling about the simplest of things and slurring her words just the slightest bit. You make a mental note to ease the drinking, wanting to be sober enough to look after her in case anything were to arise.

The two of you are at the base of the stairs when you hear Mark’s voice calling Yeri’s name. You turn your attention upward to see him ambling down the stairs with excited fervor. His cheeks are flushed, more so than usual around Yeri, and you can tell it’s due to alcohol because Mark is holding her hands and you know he can never be so bold without the help of liquid courage.

“Yo Mark, slow down there.” A voice calls out and you look up again and you feel your breath caught in your throat.

There in front of your eyes is Jung Jaehyun in the flesh. He looks heavenly dressed in simple jeans and a white tee. You unconsciously swallow the lump in your throat and your heart beat gallops a mile a minute in your chest. Your mouth goes dry and you mindlessly gulp down swigs of your drink. You know Yeri would’ve sniggered at your current state had she not been so tipsy and completely preoccupied with Mark.

Jaehyun catches up to Mark and when he reaches the base of the stairs, he notices the two of you.

“Oh Jaehyun, lemme introduce you guys.”

As promised, Mark introduces everyone quickly and Jaehyun shoots a smile that seems to be aimed at you. “Nice to meet everyone.”

“Cool, now that everyone knows each other,” Mark starts. “Yeri, can I show you something?”

“Uh, y-yeah.”

You give Yeri a hard look and she takes your hand to squeeze it in reassurance. She looks at you pleadingly and there’s a confidence in her eyes that you can’t argue with. You relent and let her go.

Mark takes her by the hand and leads her up the stairs while you watch, slightly worried.

Jaehyun seems to have sensed your apprehension because the words that leave his mouth snaps you out of your perturbed state. “Don’t worry. Mark’s a good kid, you have nothing to worry about. You have my word on it.”

And suddenly the situation dawns on you. The boy of your recent all-consuming infatuation stands here before you, and it’s just the two of you alone. Any social skills you have, leave you and you’re unsure of what to do.

Jaehyun notices the awkward tension in the air and works quickly to dispel it. “Your drink’s looking low. Can I get you something else?”

You look down to your drink to see that he was right. Only a few sips remain. You didn’t realize you had drank so much at the sight of Jaehyun.

“Um, some water would be good. I don’t want to be too hungover tomorrow.” You answer shyly. You also need to be sober enough to look after Yeri, but you decide to leave that out.

Jaehyun chuckles, “sure thing. Here, come with me. I’ll get you some water.”

Jaehyun leads you to the kitchen with ease, seamlessly weaving through the crowds of people. Every group of people he passes greets him loudly to be heard of the pounding bass of the music. You are not surprised to see how popular he is.

Once in the kitchen, he grabs you a bottle of water and a beer for himself from the fridge and you thank him. The cold water is refreshing, but it does little to cool your nerves. The awkward tension is high and still ever present. You feel as though you’re drowning in it and you also feel like running away from here despite this being what you’ve wanted for more than anything for weeks on end.

“So,” Jaehyun starts, clearing his throat. “Mark told me you’re a CWP major?”

“Uh, y-yeah, actually.” You hate how you’re so flustered around him. “How’d he know? Did Yeri tell him or something?”

“He said you guys shared an arranging class last semester.” Jaehyun recalls.

“Wait, really? I had no idea.” You start going off on how you could’ve missed such a thing and Jaehyun smiles. You’re much more comfortable when a rhythm has been established and the words flow out of you easily. You’re not as relaxed as where Jaehyun wants you to be, but he thinks it’s a good start.

You continue with small talk from there, much less uptight than before and you feel glad. Jaehyun is as radiant in person as he is in your imagination. You find him to be very kind and your heart flutters even more. Jaehyun mentions he’s a musical theatre major and you do your best to act surprised despite it being one of the only things you know about him prior to this moment.

Before he gets a chance to tell you more about himself, a tall boy with long limbs calls out to Jaehyun that it’s his turn to join the next game of beer pong. Jaehyun looks reluctant to leave and you don’t want him to leave either, but you’d hate to hold him back from prior engagements.

“Would you,” Jaehyun licks his lips in consideration, “like to play with me? I don’t have a partner.”

You nod your head and readily agree, eager to spend more time with him.

You’ve only played beer pong a handful of times and being around Jaehyun makes you nervous, so you miss the first few shots. You feel embarrassed, but Jaehyun is patient and assures you that it’s no problem at all. His little words of encouragement mixed with the beer you drink helps melt your tension, and halfway through the game, you’re whooping and hollering with everyone watching the game.

You high-five Jaehyun without a second thought after nailing a perfect shot and Jaehyun smiles even wider. The two of you are leading when Taeyong comes in to kick everyone out.

“Sorry guys, party’s over.”

Groans of complaints could be heard throughout the crowd, but Taeyong’s words are firm and he ushers everyone to leave. He has a few other frat members behind him helping out. He reaches the beer pong table and pulls Jaehyun aside. After a few exchanged words, Jaehyun nods in agreement and ends the game completely, apologizing to his opponents.

You’re confused, so you carefully ask Jaehyun what’s going on. He sees you and his gaze softens, he quietly explains, “apparently, the campus police have received multiple noise complaints and since the fraternity already has a strike, Taeyong doesn’t really want to risk another. “

“Ah, I see.” You nod. You’re saddened by the turn of events, having finally eased into a relative comfort around Jaehyun and you yearn for more. “Well, I better go look for Yeri then.”

This is a goodbye and you’re unsure of what else to say to him, your disappointment mixes with alcohol making you feel even more miserable. You want to ask for more, but can’t find the words to reach him. Luckily, Jaehyun does it for you.

“Are you free sometime this week?” He asks. “I feel like we didn’t get a chance to really talk and I’d like to.”

Your heart hammers and the blood rushes in your ears, but you still find yourself uttering a mousy agreement.

“Great,” his smile is dazzling and you feel dizzy. “It’s a date then.”

5. 24 Hours by Sunmi

rushed minutes.

“Time goes by so quickly.”

“Hey,” a distant voice calls out and Jaehyun looks up from his phone to see your approaching figure. Your cheeks are rosy from the summer sun and stray pieces of your hair escape from your loosely styled updo. Jaehyun takes all of you in with careful appreciation.

“Hey yourself.” Jaehyun chuckles, slipping his phone casually in his pocket and standing up straighter to greet you properly.

Jaehyun sees the red of your face flush brighter, the soft color bleeding across your cheeks and onto your nose. Cute, he thinks. He watches as you tighten your grip on your clutch, knuckles white with nervous tension, in an attempt to gather your composure and calm your nerves. You clear your throat, “I didn’t know you’d be here so soon. You should’ve texted me.”

“It’s all good, I finished early.” Jaehyun notices you no longer stutter around him like the first night you two met. He’s glad the days and nights of sober texting after exchanging numbers at the party did wonders to make you feel comfortable around him. He’s not too worried about your current ‘first-date’ anxiety, knowing it’ll be dispelled soon enough. “Shall we?” He moves to open the door and the cool rush of air from the cafe greets the two of you.

The cafe is quaint and cozy, tucked away in a small corner of intersecting back streets and crowded buildings. Jaehyun discovered the little spot not too long ago and something, Jaehyun assumes his instincts, compelled him to take you to it for the first official date. It just felt right.

The two of you walk to the order counter and you take it all in. You can hear the quiet chatter of the cafe occupants mixed with the rattle of espresso machines being put to work. Your eyes scan over the decorations and several potted succulents hanging from the ceiling. It’s incredibly homey and you feel at ease.

“Hiya, I can help the two of you whenever you guys are ready.” The barista is cheerful to a fault and Jaehyun watches you shoot her a grateful smile before your eyes move to the menu to decide on what to get.

Jaehyun knows what he wants, so he waits patiently for you to decide, but seeing your eyebrows scrunch together in indecision, Jaehyun chuckles to himself. “I hear the iced lattes here are really good, particularly the caramel latte,” he offers.

You perk up in surprise, but you recover quickly, “okay, that sounds good then. I was between that and the iced cocoa.”

“No problem, I’ll order then. Today’s on me.” Jaehyun says.

Jaehyun walks up to the barista and quickly places the order. He reaches for his wallet after the barista recites the order, but he falters slightly when he sees your gaze glued to the cake display, particularly the crepe cake.

“Can I get a slice of the chocolate crepe cake over there too?”

“Of course! Here’s your new total,” she turns the touch screen display over to Jaehyun and he readily inserts his card to pay. When finished, Jaehyun turns back the screen and after a few taps from the barista, a receipt is printed and she hands him a buzzer.

“Your order will be out shortly.” She informs him.

Jaehyun smiles and says a small ‘thank you’ in return before turning his attention to you. You look up to meet his eyes and you smile, “can we sit over there by the window?”

You head to the little corner table first with Jaehyun steadily in tow. You sit at the chair that leaves your back to the window and Jaehyun is mesmerized by how the afternoon sunlight refracts through your silhouette. You’re glowing and Jaehyun swallows thickly.

“So,” he starts. “What have you been up to?”

“Celebrating finishing my first year of college in one piece.” You laugh lightly. “I got by with passable grades, but other than that Yeri and I just finished moving into our new dorms. We’re no longer freshmen, so first year dorms are off limits. I’m gonna miss the convenient location.” You jokingly mope.

Jaehyun laughs easily with you and before he gets a chance to reply, the buzzer goes off so he excuses himself to go pick up the order.

A different barista places down a tray with your two drinks and a small slice of cheesecake with two dessert forks resting on some napkins. “Enjoy your order!”

Jaehyun smiles in thanks and picks up the tray to bring it back to the table. He can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see the mille crepe cake and true to his expectations, your eyes light up at the sight of dessert.

“Surprise.” He says. “I saw you looking at it earlier.”

Jaehyun watches as you immediately grab a small fork and try a piece of the cake with unrestricted child-like excitement. Your eyes light up at the taste of the delicate layers of fresh whipped cream and thin crepes and the smile you shoot in his direction has Jaehyun’s heart beating a little faster than he’s willing to admit.

“Thank you!” You look up at him. “It’s so good, you should definitely try a bite too.”

“Yeah? I’ll try some then.” Jaehyun sits down and leans even closer to you over the table, his mouth open and expectant and his eyes staring straight into yours.

You try your best to bite back the scarlet fighting to stain your cheeks as you cinch off a small section of the cake with your fork. Your hand falters just the slightest bit when delivering the small confection to his awaiting mouth, but you push through and feed him despite the embarrassment you feel.

Jaehyun chews slowly and deliberately, taking his time to lick the stray whipped cream from the corner of his mouth. You lose the game of chicken, breaking eye contact first.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It’s good. We should definitely come back.”

You let out a little awkward cough, desperate to ward off your cloud of emotions. “Uhm, yeah sure.”

Jaehyun has always thought you were cute, but he thinks you’re especially cute today.

“Anyway,” you start. You want to change the topic because you don’t think you can survive this tension without your brain frying. “I feel like I’ve just seen you around recently. I should’ve run into you a long time ago since the performing arts college is so small.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun is a little taken aback. “I used to be over at the East Campus. I was a business and administration major for two years before I switched over to musical theatre.”

“Wait really?” Your surprise erases any tension you felt earlier. “I had no idea.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “It doesn’t really come up in conversation.”

“Why’d you switch over? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Jaehyun contemplates his reply for a second as takes a sip of his coffee. “Well, when I entered college, I didn’t really know what I wanted, so I just followed whatever my parents wanted me to do. I actually knew I liked musical theatre for the longest time, but it took time for me to build up the courage to switch. My parents weren’t happy with it at first and we fought for the longest time, but I think they’ve warmed up to it enough by now. I’ve never really talked about this though, I just tell people I transferred from a different college and the conversation just ends there I guess, but it’s really no big deal.”

“Thank you for telling me this, Jaehyun.” Your voice is sincere and Jaehyun believes you.

“What about you, hm?” Jaehyun returns. “Why CWP?”

“I don’t really have one point that changed my life and helped me find my calling or whatever,” you ponder with a tilt of the head and the taste of cream dissolving in your mouth. “But ever since I was little, I always knew I was gonna end up doing something in music. I was never good at singing though, so vocal performance was out the door and I wasn’t that interested in classical instruments either, so that helped me narrow stuff down. Actually, what really helped me decide was during orientation, my group leader was a contemporary writing and production major and she told me all about it and I’ve been sold ever since. I really like it though, and have no intention of switching.”

“That’s good. Sometimes I wish I switched earlier.” Jaehyun muses. “I feel so behind sometimes. Most people in my class have already been in at least one musical and an internship, except for me. I think about it a lot, but I try not to let it get me so down.”

“You shouldn’t feel that way!” You try your best to cheer him up, and Jaehyun appreciates it a lot more than he thought he would. “Everyone has their own pace, that’s what college is all about! Nothing is ever wasted time. You can think of your time as a business admin major as a way to help you make up your mind on your true passion. You told me you’ve always liked musical theatre, but I’ve bet without the time in business, you would’ve never known you liked it enough to pursue a career out of it.”

Jaehyun laughs at your earnesty. He thinks you’re a touch naive, but your words make him feel light. “You’re right. I can say for sure I wasn’t happy as a business major.”

“See? Nothing is ever wasted time if you can discover your true happiness out of it.”

The two of you exchange easy chatter after that and between small bites of cake and sips of coffee, Jaehyun thinks you’ve become prettier and prettier.

“What was it like?” You ask absentmindedly.

“Hm? What was ‘what’ like?”

“Being a business and administration major.”

Jaehyun has to think about it. He recalls constantly dressing up for group presentations and boring lectures, but his mind wanders to his activities outside the classroom. He remembers the constant partying and the blur of faces that helped him keep his bed warm. He remembers brief flings and relationships cut short. He doesn’t want to think about those things when he’s next to you. “Uhm. It was okay, nothing special, but that reminds me–”

“Yeah?”

“Are you free next weekend?”

“I should be. Why, what’s up?”

“Great,” Jaehyun smiles while taking the last sip of his coffee. “I’m having a housewarming party at my new apartment. You should definitely be there.”

The day of the long awaited housewarming party rolls up sooner than expected between settling into your new dorm with Yeri and the occasional small ‘get-togethers’ with Jaehyun. They’re actually dates if you're being honest, but you don’t want to put a title on anything in case he wasn’t on the same page as you. Being with Jaehyun made you giddy in more ways than one, but that means the anxiety that pools at the base of your stomach grows larger each day when the relationship between the two of you goes unnamed. You feel greedy when you desperately grasp at the shred of time you share with him, always unwillingly to let go.

“Are you ready?” Yeri’s voice breaks you out of your small reverie. Her hand is poised, ready to knock on the black door of Jaehyun’s apartment, waiting for you to gather your composure. Yeri is dressed to the nines in a cute skirt with a top to match. She wants to look good for her new boyfriend and you teased her endlessly for it when the two of you were getting ready.

“Mark’s one lucky guy.”

“Shut up. Worry about yourself.”

“All I do is love you, yet you’re so mean to me.”

Regardless of her harsh words toward you, she helped you toss your closet inside and out for the perfect outfit to woo Jaehyun, even if it meant showing up late to the party.

The two of you leave your dorm twenty minutes later than you intended and it also didn’t help that Jaehyun’s apartment was difficult to find, tucked away in a small building between towering skyscrapers, but now is finally the moment of truth.

“Yeah, I’m ready as I’ll ever be,” you mutter as you watch Yeri knock on the door.

It takes a minute before the door creaks open and Jaehyun’s head pops out. His smile is radiant and you’re absolutely ensnared by the way his fringe falls over his forehead.

“Hey, glad you two could make it.” Jaehyun opens the door wider to allow you and Yeri to enter. He greets Yeri with polite warmth while he wraps an arm over your shoulders. When Yeri heads in the apartment first with her back against the two of you, Jaehyun steals a quick peck to your temple and whispers, “you look pretty tonight.”

His touch is fleeting and he pulls back quickly, as if you imagined the whole thing, but his cheeky smile tells you that it really did happen. Your heart hammers and you force yourself to focus on the steady thrum of mellow R&B that reverberates throughout his apartment to calm yourself. You take his apartment in steady strides with your full attention. It’s sleek and modern with a few pops of his personality here and there in the form of trinkets decoration choices.

“Hey!” Johnny calls over from the couch. He has a beer in hand, but he’s far from tipsy. Flanked on one side is Doyoung with another beer to match and on the other is Sicheng. Seulgi, the girl, who you assume is Sicheng’s significant other, by the way his arm is casually wrapped around her waist, is also there and she nods at you in greeting. You've come to know about all of them after hanging out with Jaehyun so much. “Did you guys get lost or something?”

“Yeah,” Yeri replies as she moves to sit next to Mark who’s on the adjacent loveseat and resting a drink on the coffee table. “Something like that.”

She places a sweet kiss to the corner of Mark’s mouth in greeting and you swear you can hear him crooning at the attention.

“Doesn’t matter, Johnny. The important thing is that they’re here now.” Jaehyun interjects. “Do you guys want anything to drink?”

“That’d be nice.” You hum.

Yeri laughs in agreement, “yeah, the two of us could never say no to a drink.”

“Alright, I’m on it.” Jaehyun calls while moving to the kitchen. “Any preferences?”

“No,” you say. “Surprise us.”

Jaehyun works to mix drinks and you take a seat on the floor next to the coffee table to observe the party. Perched on the shelf of a slender bookcase in the corner of his living room is a bluetooth speaker playing music, the rhythm quiet and bass steady as everyone chatters away once introductions are made on the sofas. You remember him offhandedly mentioning that he doesn’t want any noise complaints on his first week in the new place and it makes sense. Jaehyun’s housewarming party is a quiet affair that is far different from the wild party at the frat house in which you met him, but you think this vibe fits Jaehyun more.

Jaehyun returns shortly with two drinks in tow for you and Yeri and sits himself snugly next to you on the floor. He picks his idle beer from the coffee table and once Johnny realizes that everyone in the proximity has a drink in hand, he raises his voice and beer in a toast. “It sucks that Taeyong couldn’t make it tonight, but here’s to having fun without him. We’re gonna get twice as fucked up to make up for his absence, cheers!”

Everyone lets out a chuckle, but obliges to humor him anyway and joins to connect their drink to his in cheers.

You pull your cup back and take a big gulp of the drink. It’s sweet and carbonated, but the sting of alcohol at your throat leaves you wincing just the slightest bit.

A few pleasantries are exchanged here and there, but it’s only then does Doyoung pull out a deck of cards with a devilish glint in his eyes that deceive his looks.

“Ring of fire, anyone?”

After who knows how many rounds of ring of fire (and maybe a few other drinking games here and there) with too many drink refills for you to remember, you somehow find yourself splayed on the couch and leaning over Yeri’s shoulder in support. Seulgi is on the other side of you leaning on you for support, the same way you’re doing to Yeri, but you don’t mind it one bit. The three of you have grown surprisingly close with one another throughout the night.

Your mind is lucid enough to still be conscious and completely aware of where you are and what you’re doing, but the alcohol in your system eats away at the details in your memory.

You vaguely recall ridiculous punishments that involved Johnny twerking on the dining room table and Mark taking a shot of Jack Daniels mixed with ketchup, and you can’t help but snicker to yourself.

“I think we should get going now.” Sicheng is the first to speak as he moves to help Seulgi up. “It’s getting late.”

Doyoung looks a little groggy, but when he checks the time, he perks up immediately, “oh shit, you’re right. I need to get going too, I’ve got something in the morning.”

With that everyone shuffles to clean the remnants of the party with as much grace as they can muster while intoxicated, which wasn’t much, but in twenty minutes, Jaehyun is already walking half the party to the door in goodbye. Only you, Mark, and Yeri are left.

“Hey Yeri,” Mark calls softly to Yeri as he brushes a strand of hair from her face. “Are you ready to go too?”

Yeri is still sprawled on the couch with you, but mumbles a small response. “Yeah, I should be. Give me a second.”

She turns over to you and nudges you just the slightest bit. “I’m gonna go back to Mark’s tonight, are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” you assure her. “I’ll be fine, just go have fun.”

“She’s free to rest here until she’s ready to leave, don’t worry. I’ll call a cab for her when the time comes.” Jaehyun pipes up.

Yeri gives you a look, but you squeeze her hand one last time to give her some peace of mind. “I’m a big girl, Yeri. I’ll be okay, promise. I’ll walk you to the door, Mark’s waiting.”

You give Yeri a tight hug in goodbye and you find your way back to the couch. The fact that you’re all alone in Jaehyun’s apartment doesn’t hit because of the remnants of alcohol in your system melts away your nerves.

You’re pleasantly buzzed, lost in your own thoughts when Jaehyun comes up to you with a glass of water in hand. “Here, so you don’t feel as bad tomorrow morning.”

You accept it gratefully and take in big gulps, the water refreshing, but your skin feels hot.

Jaehyun takes a seat next to you and the proximity makes your head spin. You turn to look at him, and he flashes you a smile.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

“You might’ve mentioned something.” You tease. “But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“Well,” he hums. You’re not sure, but you think the distance between the two of you is decreasing. “You really do look stunning tonight.”

You flush at his words, but you look straight into his eyes. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“Yeah? I try to impress.” Jaehyun’s eyes are hooded and your throat goes dry. “Can I kiss you?”

You say nothing at first, his words not registering into your muddled brain, but when you feel his breath ghost over your lips, you don’t hesitate to close the gap between you.

His lips are slightly chapped and you can taste the vodka on his breath, but to you it’s perfect. Jaehyun’s perfect.

Jaehyun kisses you with reserved passion and practiced expertise. His tongue sets the rhythm against yours and his roaming hands have you feeling as if you’ve been set ablaze. He pulls back just the tiniest bit and the intense longing for his touch that hits you is indescribable.

You pull him back in your arms and your lips reconnect in a desperate fervor. Jaehyun adjusts his arms around you and the next you know, you’re in his embrace and he’s carrying you to his bedroom. He places you down gently, his bed is plush and comforter soft.

Jaehyun’s touch is gentle as he gathers your face in his hands. He kisses you again and you wrap your arm around his neck to pull him closer. He pulls back and looks at you earnestly. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We don’t have to do anything tonight.”

Everything’s moving so fast and you’re dizzy, but you don’t want whatever this is to stop. You want to be as close to Jaehyun as possible.

“No,” your voice is hoarse. “Don’t stop. I want you, Jaehyun.”

He kisses you again, this time unrestrained. His tongue is hot, but you can only savor it for a minute before he starts trailing kisses down your neck and tugging at your shirt. You let out a breathy moan in response to how his touches make you feel.

Jaehyun reaches at your shorts and makes quick work at unbuttoning them. You help him remove the article of clothing and his slender fingers dart inside your panties. You’re slick to the touch and Jaehyun must be made of magic because you think you’re seeing stars. You unravel before him embarrassingly quick, but he kisses you at the base of your clavicle in sweet reassurance.

Your chest is heaving, but you want more. You grab at Jaehyun’s shirt, urging him to take it off. The expanse of his abdomen is a sight to behold, but Jaehyun is cruel and doesn’t give you the time to take it in. He’s on top of you again, lips crashing onto yours once more. He reaches behind you to unclasp your bra and while he’s pre-occupied, you unbuckle his belt and steal a moment in his boxers. He feels thick and hot in your hands as you run your finger over the tip to feel a drop of pre-cum. He buckles just the slightest bit and it emboldens you.

Jaehyun helps himself out of his jeans and you push him onto the bed wanting to be on top this time. He’s straining against his boxers and you want to help relieve the tension. When you pull off his boxers you can feel his inaudible groan. You stroke his length gingerly and look up to see him with hooded eyes look right back at you.

This excites you so you take him in your mouth in a moment of unfiltered courage. Your tongue starts at the base before tracing your way up to his sensitive head. You tease him accordingly to his quiet grunts and groans and when you feel like he’s had enough, you take all of him in until his tip is hitting the back of your throat. You gag a bit, but push through.

“Fuck,” Jaehyun stutters out between stacatoed breaths. “Babe, you’re so good.”

You hum in pleasure at his praise and he grabs your hair. This goes on for a few more minutes before he reaches down to stop you. “Not that I don’t love this,” the look in your eyes nearly has him faltering his words, “but I don’t want to cum just yet.”

You relent with a slick pop and Jaehyun shifts over to rummage for a condom in his nightstand. You settle back down in his pillows. Jaehyun gives you a soft kiss on the lips before he enters you.

“Tell me when it’s okay to move,” he whispers and you place a small kiss at the base of his neck.

He starts off slow to let you acclimate to his size, but neither of you are very patient, so he ends up pounding into you a lot sooner than he anticipated and you find yourself getting caught up in the pleasure.

It feels like you’re dreaming, but if this was a dream, you never want to wake up.

6. Hush by Miss A

shh, no talking, just us.

“I can’t think straight.”

You and Jaehyun don’t become official until a few weeks later.

He asks you one day when you’re naked and out of breath. You’ve gone one too many rounds with him and a thin layer of sweat coats your body as you lay on his heaving chest. You absentmindedly draw shapes on his skin and he gives you a chaste kiss to your temple.

“We should date.” He hums. “I think I’d make a good boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” You raise your eyebrow in teasing.

“Yeah,” he ascertains. “Give me a chance and I’ll show you.”

“Hmm,” you pretend to think it over as if this wasn’t you’ve been hoping for since the first moment you laid eyes on him. “Okay. Let’s give it a try, boyfriend.”

Jaehyun laughs and you feel the world fall into its right place. “Alright, girlfriend.”

And the rest is history as they say.

Jaehyun isn’t your first, but you experience many firsts with him. You’re not exactly inexperienced, but he really opens your eyes.

“Fuck,” he groans into your neck. His hands grip at your hips to help guide you along, but you’re fully in charge. “You’re doing so good, babe. Just like that.”

You didn’t see yourself as someone who liked to take charge during sex, but after that one time Jaehyun asked you to top, you’ve never looked back since.

You roll hips into him and at a pace you know drives Jaehyun wild and you pull him into a sloppy kiss. It’s all tongue and no grace, but you love it the same regardless. You capture his bottom lips between your teeth playfully before pushing him flat on his back until he’s firm against his plush mattress. You place a hand on his chest and the other on his thigh to balance yourself and Jaehyun immediately knows you’re close.

A hand rests on your hip to steady you while the other snakes over to play with your clit to further stimulate you toward your climax. Jaehyun knows what you like and his timing is impeccable, so before you know it, both of you are reaching your highs together. You collapse on his chest and you allow yourself to stay in his warmth long enough to have your breaths synchronize before you extricate yourself from him to head to his bathroom.

When you come back out, he’s disposed of the used condom and opens your arm wide for a hug, which you gladly indulge in.

Time stops when you’re in his arms.

On the surface, it looks like Jaehyun likes to mix it up. He seems like an elusive guy with varied tastes, but the more time you spend with him, you realize he likes the control of seeing you unravel before him.

He likes the intimacy of missionary.

The close proximity to your body has him looking into your eyes and leaving you feeling the most vulnerable of ways. He has full access to your neck, which he lovingly claims as his own and you chide him the next day when you see scattered purple blooms. Jaehyun changes his pace on a whim and you fall to his mercy. When he takes you fast and hard, you see stars, but when thrusts in you with languid leisure, he has you begging for more.

He likes the intensity of taking from behind.

When you’re on your knees with your ass in the air, he takes it as a guarantee to fuck you senseless. Your muffled moans makes his dick twitch and you swear you can feel him fuck into you even faster. Jaehyun always makes sure to wrap his arms around you to finger your clit until you go into sensory overload and he doesn’t stop pounding into you until there are tears in your eyes. He kisses each one away before taking your lips in his and you can taste the salt water on his tongue.

He likes the dominance from eating you out.

He laps at your core like a starved man and makes good use of his adept fingers until your head is spinning. Jaehyun makes it a habit to eat you out until you’re satisfied before he gets his turn. When your thighs are on either side of his head and your hands tangled in his hair, he swears he can stay there forever.

Above all, Jaehyun just likes you. He likes being with you and he definitely likes fucking you and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Mmmh,” you breathe out.

Your back is flush against Jaehyun’s back as you rock your hips back and forth on his dick. You grind your ass back even harder when he pinches your nipple between his fingers.

He kisses your shoulder blade from behind and bucks his hip upward to meet you in the middle.

The afternoon sunlight is streaming in from the gaps of his blinds and you want to take it nice and slow today. The television in front of you is playing a movie, but you’re too enraptured by the feeling of him filling you to the brim to pay it any mind.

“I love it when you’re on top, babe.” he hums as he plays with your clit.

You let out another breathy groan before you can find the composure to bite back at him. “What happened to no sex today, hmm? I thought we were just going to have innocent quality time together and watch a movie.”

Jaehyun must’ve not liked your sass, so he bucks up harder. He’s telling you to pick up the pace and you oblige. Before you know, you’re practically bouncing on his dick and you can feel your impending high about to crash down on you. He can sense it too and maintains his tempo. When you cum, Jaehyun rides on the tail of your climax in pursuit of his own. He cums shortly after with stuttering hips and a bite on your shoulder. He gathers you in his arms and runs his tongue soothingly over where he bit you and the various love bites that he’s littered on the expanse of your skin.

“Just being with you is quality time in itself.” He says. “Besides, class is starting soon, so I won’t get to see you as much.”

7. Disturbance by BoA

a ripple on the surface.

“I didn’t know at first.”

“So I do have a roommate after all,” Yeri’s voice calls out and you turn over to see her standing by the doorway. You roll your eyes at her, but quickly turn back to gather your things.

She lets out a chuckle, but you don’t miss the sour edge to her tone. “I thought I got a single dorm since it’s so empty all the time.”

“You say that, Yeri,” you retort. “But I know you’re over at Mark’s constantly so I don’t wanna hear it from you.”

“Yeah, but I make time to come back here and I always let you know when I’m going out. I feel like I’ve only seen you maybe once or twice the past few months. I feel like the only reason I see you these days is ‘cause of classes.”

“You’re just exaggerating, don’t be so dramatic. Come on, let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”

She looks displeased, but nothing leaves her lips as the two of you head out for the day.

It’s late.

When night falls, shadows come out to play and your college campus is riddled with them. The school auditorium is situated in the far corner of the campus and the lamp lights of the main walkways do little, but you pay it little mind. Jaehyun should be getting out soon.

It takes another ten minutes to see him emerge from the double doors and you perk up immediately at the sight of him. He looks a little shocked to see you, but greets you with a warm hug and small peck regardless.

“Hey,” his voice is small, almost reserved. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you I was finishing late tonight.”

“Oh, you did, but I still wanted to see you.” You explain, eyes bright and tone undeterred.

“Not that I don’t appreciate it,” he licks his lip. “But it’s really late and I still have more stuff I need to work on. I’ll see you some other time, okay?”

“Oh, okay.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, babe. Next time.”

“Oh hey,” you smile, but Yeri’s fury is palpable and cuts through you.

“Don’t ‘oh hey’ me.” She spits out. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

Sheepish, you reply, “oh sorry. I forgot to fully charge it before leaving and Jaehyun and I have different phones, so I couldn’t charge it at his place.”

“You were at Jaehyun’s?” Yeri is glaring at you at this point and you feel a bit peeved.

“Yeah. What of it?”

Yeri’s been getting angry at you recently, losing her temper at the drop of a hat, and you can’t seem to pinpoint why. You’re getting tired of being her punching bag.

“We made plans to go shop for Seulgi’s gift today. You promised you’d be there, don’t you remember?”

“Oh shit.” It completely slips from your mind and you open your mouth to apologize, but Yeri cuts you off before you get the chance.

“Forget it. I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Yeri turns to leave before you can say anything back.

8. Symptoms by SHINee

something’s wrong.

“The worse it gets, the more exhausted I get.”

Jaehyun feels off.

He can’t pinpoint exactly what he is that he’s feeling, but he thinks it’s reminiscent of his world being tilted by six degrees. It’s not immediately jarring and takes little time for his eyes to register, but he’ll occasionally bump his toe, signalling that this isn’t right. Things aren’t where they’re supposed to be. His head spins just the slightest bit and he feels woozy, but he doesn’t know why.

Jaehyun just feels off.

Jaehyun checks the bulletin board of his school auditorium almost religiously.

Each time before and after class, he’ll swing by and peruse the flyers that hang from haphazardly stuck on pins. He ignores the tutoring offers and the part time jobs scams, his main focus is almost always on the center of the board where they post the upcoming musical theatre production and eventually, the cast list.

This semester, the chosen production is La La Land and Jaehyun has been dead set on landing the role of Sebastian Wilder. He stays back extra late each day to practice the script and to work on his singing and annunciation.

On the day of the audition, he’s sure he’s nailed it and thinks to himself the world must be ending if he weren’t to get the leading role.

When he leaves the auditorium in a rush, excitement flows through his veins and he drinks in the night air as a toast of victory. He’s tipsy on his excitement and wants to laugh out loud, but in the corner of his vision, he sees you. Your eyes light up the sight up, outshining the moon and the stars, but your visage does not elicit the reaction he thinks it should. He expects his heart to swell and burst, but somehow he feels heavy.

He pulls you in for a hug and a quick kiss to quell his weighted heart, but he thinks he’s starting to sink so he calls you off for the night. He’ll see you next time.

Yeah, next time will be better.

You’re snuggled up close and personal on Jaehyun’s chest. Jaehyun notices you fill every nook and cranny of his being perfectly to a tee, and yet that feeling. It’s there again.

Jaehyun feels off.

You laugh at something one of the characters say and you cuddle harder into him. He feels heavy again and it makes his throat itch, so he swoops down and captures your lips.

It’s hard and fast to scrub away at his uneasiness and before he knows it, his clothes are missing, but so are yours. The foreplay is brief and almost impersonal, but he doesn’t care. He just needs to be inside you.

When Jaehyun has you begging and writhing, he feels like the world is where it should be. No longer is he living at a slight angle when he’s buried to the hilt inside your warmth, so when he sees you, he does what he can to get you out of your pants.

Today is no different from any other.

After a satisfying session you roll on his chest. Your kiss is soft and sweet despite the sweat that covers both of your bodies. He hums quietly as he taps melodies on along your exposed spine.

“Jaehyun?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I love you.”

Ah. Jaehyun thinks he’s getting it now, why he’s feeling off.

Jaehyun thinks he’s being suffocated.

To the surprise of no one, and especially not to him, Jaehyun gets the leading role of Sebastian Wilder in La La Land. He was a shoe-in for it anyway and he made sure to put in the work to get it.

His leading lady is someone by the name of Park Sooyoung, but at the first rehearsal she introduces herself as Joy.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She offers her hand out in a friendly greeting. “Here’s to a successful show together, Jaehyun.”

Her smile is blinding and he thinks Joy is a fitting name. He grasps her outstretched hand, grip firm and sure.

“Yeah,” he smiles back. “Here’s to a good show together.”

Rehearsals span over blurred minutes and long hours.

Jaehyun sees less and less of you and spends more and more time with her.

During a quick water break, he scans his phone briefly to see a text notification from you. He takes another swig of water and returns to the rehearsal.

It’s okay, he can always text you back later.

9. Before U Go - TVXQ!

letting go.

“I will leave now.”

“Come on!” You tug both Mark and Yeri along excitedly. “I want to get good seats.”

Yeri rolls her eyes, but obliges anyway, pulling Mark along. It’s opening night for Jaehyun’s big musical and you wanted to be there no matter what to support him. Johnny, Doyoung, Taeyong, Sicheng, and Seulgi are already inside waiting and you’re not sure if they were able to save the three of you a spot.

After a long chat with Yeri, you apologized profusely to her. You did get blinded by your relationship with him and prioritized him over everything, forgetting your friends and other responsibilities in the process. Yeri forgave you easily and helped keep you in line when you went to head over heels for Jaehyun.

However, after patching things up with Yeri, you begin to notice a shift in your relationship with Jaehyun’s. You’re not quite sure how to describe it, but it almost feels like a distance almost.

You chalk it up to his busy rehearsal schedule and choose not to dwell on the topic, in fears of your wandering imagination. It should be fine. After his musical is over, he’ll be less busy and things will fall back into place.

Right?

“Over here!” Seulgi waves over excitedly.

The auditorium is starting to fill up and you want to get comfortable before the show starts.

Everyone greets each other in hushed tones and soon enough, the show starts.

Right. Everything will be fine.

Jaehyun does amazing.

Your eyes are trained on him the whole time and his singing has goosebumps pricking your skin. You can see the passion pour through him every time he’s on stage and you couldn’t be more proud.

A nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach points out the undeniable chemistry between him and his co-star, but you push it deep down and suppress it.

They’re actors, and they’re good at what they do.

Yeah. They’re just acting. Yeah. Acting.

When the curtains close, you’re the first to shoot out of your seat, eager to meet him backstage. You weave through the endless crowd of people, murmuring your ‘sorry’s’ and ‘excuse me’s’ as you pass by. You reach the base of the backstage and shoot a message to let him know you’re waiting. You hum to yourself when you happen to overhear a conversation playing out.

“You did so good, Jae.”

“No, you definitely carried the show.”

You turn up and you see them. Her eyes are almost soft and loving as she pulls your boyfriend in for a hug. They linger in the embrace longer than necessary and you clear your throat to catch his attention.

He jolts just the slightest bit when he sees you and immediately lets her go.

“Everyone’s waiting,” you say quietly.

“Okay,” he nods. “Let me go get my stuff in the back.”

Jaehyun leaves the two of you alone and you wait for him to get back.

When you leave, he waves goodbye to her and she smiles back.

Jaehyun’s celebration party is rowdy, but it’s to be expected when Johnny is the one hosting.

He books a table at the local club and even orders bottle service. The eight of you work your way through two whole bottles of tequila and are already on your third. Jaehyun is downing the shots at a quicker pace than usual and you’re a bit concerned, but you’re unable to say anything because when you try, he whisks himself away to the dance floor and strikes up a conversation with someone else.

You’re perturbed, but you say nothing. This is his celebration night and he can choose to enjoy it how he wishes.

By the end of the night, Jaehyun is noticeably drunk and you haul him outside to get a breath of fresh air in hopes of sobering up. He’s heavy, but you make it out the side door. You prop him up on your side as you lean on the grimy brick walls.

Months have passed and the weather is chilly.

Jaehyun’s body sways and he murmurs something in your ear. You don’t catch it the first time, the overwhelming smell of tequila overtaking your senses.

“What was that?”

He grumbles beneath his breath, steps staggering once more. He tries again, this time his words are crisp and clear and they cut into you in more ways than one.

“I think we should end it.”

For someone so drunk, he sounds so sober.

You’re at a loss for words. A part of you knew this was coming from his lack of enthusiasm around you and his decreased texts. Even the cold night air couldn’t keep your heartbreak at bay. You say nothing, but you understand the both of you knew it was a silent agreement.

You breathe out wisps of chilled air as Jaehyun’s inebriated body stays slumped over on your side.

You volunteer to take Jaehyun home.

You tuck him gently in bed making sure to prop him on his side in case he vomits during the night. You pour a glass of water and place an ibuprofen on his nightstand drawer for him in the morning.

You kiss him on the forehead one last time. You hope it conveys all of the things brewing in your heart at the moment, but you know it doesn’t.

Later, you leave his apartment with all of your belongings that you ever left there with the stars as your witness.

You never return to his place again.

10. Coffee Shop by B.A.P

what could’ve been.

“So without knowing, like a habit, I came here.”

Jaehyun wakes up to an empty bed.

Morning sunlight streams through his blinds and burns at his skin as a sign to get ready for the day. He blinks the drowsiness from his system and stretches his weary joints before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

On his rare day offs, he allows his body to go on auto-pilot. He completely shuts his brain off and allows it to do whatever it chooses.

Today, it takes him back to the cafe.

His body knows where it’s going before it registers in his mind.

The barista manning the order counter is different, but the decorations are the same, still the same succulents hanging from the ceilings. He mulls over the menu and goes up to order.

“Can I get an iced caramel latte?” Jaehyun doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but he’s feeling nostalgic today.

“Of course! Here’s your total.”

He pays with a swipe of his card and the barista goes to work making his drink. He waits around by the counter and soon enough, his drink is ready. That particular table is empty, so he grabs a chair to sit. His first sip is overly saccharine, but he appreciates how the flavor mellows out by the end of it.

It’s been nearly a year since that night.

Jaehyun remembers waking up to a splitting headache and a dry mouth. He thought nothing of the prepared setup as he gulps the ibuprofen and the glass of water in one go. Nothing seemed amiss really until a few days later.

No one mentioned your name around him and he caught Seulgi giving him a look every now and then. Mark didn’t say much either, but Jaehyun felt him drifting away.

He thought he’d feel a lot more, but he didn’t. One day you were a part of his life and then the next day you weren’t. It really was that simple.

He kept in contact with Joy even after La La Land was over and maybe they were something more, but it didn’t last longer than a few weeks.

It didn’t feel right when he was with her. Again, something felt off, but a different kind of off.

Joy was the one to end things with him, but he didn’t mind too much.

He filled his days with study and practice and it wasn’t until he landed a job at his local theatre company that he realized.

It was you. It was always you and perhaps it still is you.

Maybe you were different. Maybe you were the one, but Jaehyun didn’t try.

He recalls feeling smothered. You were always there at the beginning, but he took that for granted.

There are a lot of things he regrets, but above all, he regrets not talking with you. He regrets not trying to work on it. He regrets being a coward and running away at the first signs of true emotions.

You weren’t perfect, but neither was he, but he should’ve stayed so the both of you could work it out together. Jaehyun always did take too long to find the courage to pursue what he wanted.

With a final sip, he finishes the drink and moves to throw it away. Then, he sees you. Here, in the flesh, in almost a year.

Your hair is longer, but your cheeks are still as rosy as ever. You walk up to order and Jaehyun thinks it’s a sign. He moves to greet you, but the doors open again and in walk Yeri and Seulgi. He watches you greet them warmly with wide open arms.

You always did give the best hugs.

Jaehyun watches the three of you chatter away and he feels acutely out of place in the little cafe. You look happy and he should move on.

He throws his finished cup in the trash can and moves to exit through the side door, but he moves too slowly.

“Jaehyun, is that you?” You call out. He looks into your steady gaze and almost feels shy.

“Yeah,” he’s quiet. “It’s been awhile.”

“It has,” you agree. “You look well.”

The smile you give him has him believing in second chances and maybe he’ll get it right this time.

Note: i am so sorry that the second part is a hot mess express smh… there were a lot of things i planned and intended that didn’t happen, but i’ll just take this as a learning experience and write and better story next time. thanks for taking the time to read this !! <3

masterlist.

#nctcreations #cznnet #neowritingsnet #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #nct scenario #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff

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dickgrcyscns · 4 years ago

Text

Snowfall

Snowfall, John Carter x Female!Reader.

Summary: In which keeping a marriage secret is really difficult. Especially when the both of you are bad at secrets and it's been months of you working around everyone.

Set During: Season One

Word Count: 2,169 words

Gif used not mine!

Life was full of surprises, you had learned that pretty quickly in the emergency room. And you learned early on to take advantage of the breaks you were given, whether that be due to the weather or because one of the residents (and sometimes an attending) told you to take one. This time around it was for a reason a bit more exciting. You couldn’t help the giddy feeling that the snow elicited in you, after all you had grown up in Chicago and spent hundreds of days playing out in the snow. Staring out the window, listening to the quiet hums of the emergency room with no patients, you thought back to the days you would spend out in the snow. Often you found yourself at the Carter family home, running around in the snow with John as his grandmother stood by the window watching you guys play. It was in the snow that you realized your feelings for him. You were fourteen, rolling around in the snow after he had tackled you down to the ground. Your faces were inches apart and for a split second a part of you wanted to close the distance, press your lips against his own. But some part of you stopped that from happening then.

And looking back at it, that was one of your biggest regrets. You wished you had taken control earlier than when you did. Nothing could change anything, although, and at least you ended up with him in the end. Of course, you still kicked yourself for falling in love with your best friend. Especially since you had promised yourself that you would never do such a thing. (Then again, who didn’t make promises to themselves that would eventually fall through). Now that you two have been together since you were eighteen, and married for just over two years, everything else seemed small. All of the moments of what could have been seem minuscule in comparison to you guys actually being together.

“Y/l/n?” You turned your head away from the window, smiling at Susan who had called out your name. “We just pulled a prank on Carter and we’re about to have him find out, so if you want to come and watch.”

“I would love to do nothing more than watch this.” Standing up, you walked into the admit area and stood next to Lydia. “What did you do to him?”

“Just something fun,” Mark smiled. “You’re lucky you weren’t sleeping.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” you mumbled, waving your hand in the air. “Let’s get on with the show.”

Mark grabbed the intercom from behind him, holding it for a few seconds before he pressed the button. He let out a short laugh before speaking into it, “Doctor Carter stat trauma one, Doctor Carter stat trauma one.”

You leaned onto the counter, arms resting and holding most of your body weight as noises came out from exam room four. A smile formed on your lips when the door opened abruptly, John tumbling out from behind it with a cast on his leg. Laughing, you brought one of your hands up to cover your mouth as John walked closer to everyone standing in the room. He pointed a finger between everyone, a smile playing on his lips as he accused all of you for the cast. The finger landed on you, which made you scoff in response. “Y/n,” John said softly, “did you do this to me?”

You blinked. “No.”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

“I have better things to be doing,” you shrugged. “The cast is cute though, I suggest you keep it.”

“I hate you,” John mumbled, shaking his head. “I’m guessing it was you two then?” He pointed at Susan and Mark who shared a playful look. “Can someone please take it off?”

“I agree with Y/l/n’s statement, it looks cute,” Mark smiled, patting your shoulder. “I’m not taking it off.”

“Neither am I.” Susan grabbed her mug of coffee from the admit desk, walking back to the lounge. “Have fun with that Carter!”

“Thanks!” John screamed out sarcastically, watching as everyone but you walked away from the area as if nothing was wrong. Your care-free persona shifted almost immediately, allowing your soft side to show as you looked over John’s expression. “So now you want to be sweet?”

“I can’t act normal around you,” you felt your cheeks heat up. “They would catch on.”

“And if they did?”

“I’m not sure.” Biting at your tongue, you smiled a little. You reached out to touch his cheek for a fleeting moment, quickly pulling it back before anyone around could see you two. “I would really love to kiss you right now, though.”

“Me too.”

“Snow days just remind me of when we were younger and I would come over to your grandmothers house,” you smiled softly, a chuckle leaving John’s lips. “Do you not remember?”

“Oh no, I do. You would drop by around eight in the morning,” John sat down, angrily tapping on the cast. “That time was when my grandmother was awake and I was still asleep, so you’d spend time with gamma and talk to her. But you were always there when I woke up, effortlessly beautiful. It was unfair, really.”

You leaned down, looking to make sure no one could see you before whispering in his ear, “You know, I always wanted to kiss you in the snow.”

“In the snow?” John mumbled back. “It’s a good things there's a lot of that going around.”

“Do you think they would notice if we just, I don't know, went missing?”

“Probably so,” John pursed his lips, a nod falling from his head. “Seems worth the risk though.”

“It wouldn’t kill us if they found out,” you shrugged innocently. “I mean, I’d just be kissing my husband. It’s not like we have any patients to worry about.”

“Other than myself.”

“Right, sorry. Other than John Carter who is stuck in a cast he doesn't need.”

“No one from the outside knows that,” John stood up. “For all they know, I’m injured.”

You rolled your eyes, walking towards the doors to the ambulance bay. John followed after you, smiling at the sight of the snow falling to the ground. When the cold air enveloped you, you took in a slight breath. Hugging your jacket closer to your body, you looked up at the sky. It was the kind of weather people expected in Chicago, cold and snowy. This time it had the added bonus of being December, which meant there was the possibility for a white Christmas. You loved it when it snowed at Christmas time, it just made the season feel right. John stood beside you, one of his arms resting lightly against your waist. Neither one of you moved to find a remote space, which meant neither one of you were necessarily trying to hide the relationship from the people inside. In fact, if you cared enough you probably would have noticed their faces in the windows of the lobby and the lounge.

“You know,” John mumbled into your ear, “this would be a lot more fun if we kissed right now.”

“I can think of things more fun than kissing,” you smiled, turning so your body faced his. “Too bad we’re at work right now.”

“So that's how this is going to go?”

“How?”

“With you teasing me.”

“Sure seems like it,” you nodded, a playful smirk on your lips. “I love you, did you know that?”

“Surprisingly, I don’t think I did. Did you know that I love you as well?”

“Can’t say I was aware of that fact.”

“Strange how that happens.”

“Quite.”

“Are we just going to do this until I kiss you?” John questioned as your lips came closer to each others.

“I could do this all day,” you whispered against his lips.

“I know you could,” he whispered against yours.

“Just kiss me.”

“Say no more.”

John quickly pressed his lips to yours, hands coming to cup your cheeks. You wrapped your arms around his neck, curving your body into his. When you two broke apart, you took a few seconds to open your eyes. You were content with everything in that moment. The kiss, the smile on your lips, your husband, and especially the snow that continued to fall around you. When you opened your eyes, you were met with John’s brown doe eyes staring at you. He had a boyish grin stuck on his lips as he pulled you in for another kiss and then another and then another.

“They’re bound to know now,” you laughed, pulling your arms away from his neck. “At least, they know something. We could keep the fact that we’re married away from them if you want.”

“If we don’t tell them, it’ll keep them guessing.”

“But if we do tell them, we could probably kiss more often while here.”

“This is why you’re the smarter one of the two of us.”

“I’m not surprised,” You began to pull off your coat as you walked in the doors. “I mean, I’m me and you’re you. Of course I’m the smart one.”

“I know that I said that, but it still hurts.”

“Says the one who didn’t wake up when Doctor Greene and Doctor Lewis were putting a cast on your leg,” You laughed, walking into the lounge and putting your coat in your locker. Mark and Susan shared a look, a smirk on their lips.

“So,” Mark drawled out, a brow raised. “Anything you’d like to tell us?”

“The snow is pretty,” you smiled innocently, putting your stethoscope around your neck. “Don’t you agree John?”

“Definitely, it’s very pretty,” John nodded in response. “I just love when there’s snow outside.”

“Me too.”

“Reminds me of being a kid.”

“And when we would just terrorize your parents until they yelled at us to get out,” you mumbled, pushing at John’s shoulder as the four of you walked out to the admit desk. “God, your dad hated me.”

“Your dad didn’t like me much more,” John retorted. “He really hated me after we started to date.” Your face dropped a little, a smile forming on your lips when everyone in the admit area turned towards you two. His eyes went wide for a moment as he realized what he just said. You let out a slight laugh as Carol walked into the room.

“Did you just say,” Haleh smiled, pointing a finger between you and John. “Date?”

“I,” John stumbled on his words, making you shake your head.

“John and I are married,” you shrugged, trying to divert any attention away from it. “Nothing too abnormal going on here. So, how are you guys doing?”

“Married?” Carol blinked a few times, her eyebrows drawing together as she looked between you two.

“We’ve been together since we were eighteen,” John smiled. “We got married at twenty-one.”

“And you didn’t tell anyone here?” Susan leaned back on the desk, a laugh leaving her lips. “I always thought you two had something going on though. The longing glances were getting old.”

“Personally, I thought it was cute,” Haleh laughed, shaking her head. “Carter’s puppy dog eyes were really the selling point.”

“It was Y/n’s pout that tugged at my heart,” Lydia popped in, making your cheeks flame. “Seriously, all she had to do was jut out her bottom lip and Carter would do anything she wanted.”

“We should have realized this a while ago,” Connie laughed.

"Don’t hold it against yourselves. Honestly, we should have told everyone from the get-go. It’s not like it changes everything for us.”

“You two are cute together,” Carol smiled, placing a hand on your shoulder. She paused, turning back towards you with a wide grin. “Can we see your ring?”

“What?”

“Your ring, can we see it? You don’t wear it on your finger.” Carol grabbed at your hand, holding it in front of your own face.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” You grabbed at the chain around your neck, unclasping it so you could take your rings off of it. Sliding them on, you smiled a little at them. Your engagement ring was his great-grandmothers, you always found yourself staring at it. Each time you found something new about it: a different knick on the metal on the ring. Each time you often wondered about how it got there. Carol took hold of your hand again once the rings were on it, eyes wide and a smile growing.

“How’d you afford this Carter?”

“Family heirloom,” John mumbled, running his hand across the back of his neck. “I definitely wouldn’t be able to afford a diamond that large.”

You bit back a laugh (because the both of you could buy hundreds of diamonds that size if you wanted to), “Not at all.”

At least the snowfall did one good thing (other than stopping the E.R. from constant use), you and John didn’t have to hide anymore.

#john carter #John Carter x reader #John Carter imagine #John Carter er #susan lewis #mark greene #Doug ross #Carol Hathaway #emergency room #e.r.#nbc er

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binunus · 4 years ago

Text

college bf!bin

a/n the duality of this man??? i’m deceased...anyway i did not think this would go this long but uh my hand slipped...happy birthday binnie!

word count: 5k

genre: fluff, smut, (tiny) angst _________________________________________________

ugh yo

bin is so??? infuriatingly hot??? yet cute at the same time

major: exercise science

and because I love mermaid prince/the beginning, he’s been on the swim team since first year college

swam varsity starting his second year

besties with eunwoo, they were roommates their whole college career

alright so bin loves making friends

he’s so playful and talkative once you really get to know him

but his aura?? tbh very intimidating

like he has an rbf and just like he’s so tall, broad shouldered, built, like he just carries himself very strongly that you will get intimidated when you first meet him

very well known in the university

literally has a professional photographed banner of him hanging in the athletic building with the gold medal he won freshman year

a little embarrassed about it

not really, only when the boys (as in literally the other five) tease him

myungjun: woOoOw bin that guy on the banner really looks like you, don’t you think?

rocky: we geeeeet it you’re a star athlete

blah blah blah you know the vibes, they’re endearing

so how do you meet bin?

basically you’re a friend of a friend—you’re eunbi’s (sinb) friend

you’ve only met bin briefly from time to time, but otherwise you never really had any reason to get acquainted with him

your only encounters of him are when he wants to annoy eunbi and she immediately puts him in his place

but then suddenly in the spring semester of your 2nd year, you and him are in the same 8 am

a boring statistics gen ed class that everyone needs to take in order to graduate

you were running a bit late during the first class meeting—you woke up 30 minutes after your alarm and literally rushed out of your apartment—you made it to class with 2 minutes to spare

most of the seats were filled up already, except that one seat in the back left corner by the window next to the one and only moon bin

oh would you look at that

you felt a bit relieved honestly, you didn’t know anyone else in that class so at least you saw a semi-familiar face

he grinned at you when you sat down

“hey y/n”

you were a bit taken back, “you know my name?”

he laughed a little, “yeah of course, you’re one of eunbi’s really good friends, why wouldn’t I know your name?”

before you could respond, the professor started class and ceased your conversation

one thing you realized as the weeks start to go on

you and bin could not give any two fucks about statistics

no offense to stats lovers

every 8 am on mon/wed/fri, neither one of you would pay attention in class

you both enabled each other to not pay attention basically

so when the professor announced the content and date for the first exam

you and bin literally looked at each other with the same expression

you were both fucked

after class was dismissed, instead of the two of you quickly packing your things and fleeing the room immediately, you both lagged a little bit

you: so...do you know anything that’s going to be on the exam?

bin: uh...no? y/n you’re literally right next to me, you know I don’t do jack shit in this class

you: well fuck, how are you gonna study then bin?

bin: I was probably gonna ask my roommate to help me, he passed with a 96 when he took this class

you give him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, you lean in and clasp your hands together like you’re praying

“can he help me too...? please?”

bin’s eyes go a lil wide bc you were a bit closer than he was used to and shit was his heart racing rn?

bin: uh...yeah...sure, i’ll text you to come over when we’re gonna study

you beam at him and like in your excitement you give him a hug

“thank you thank you thank you! i literally cannot fail this class. I’ll see you on friday bin!”

with that you grabbed your bag and just left, leaving bin shocked

he’s surprisingly a shy boy okay!

he always thought you were cute from when he first saw you hanging out with eunbi, but ofc he never thought any more of it

until you guys had this class together and he started to think every day, that wow you are really cute

bin texts you the next day

coincidentally, eunbi texts you too

bin: hey this is bin, if you’re free in an hour my roommate’s gonna help me go over the material in ch. 1

eunbi: why did bin ask for your number

you to bin: yes! send me your addy and i’ll be there :)

you to eunbi: we’re in the same stats class lol and we’re gonna study for our exam next week

eunbi: lol moon bin studying? you might wanna bring some wine with you for emergency y/n

you: lol what do you mean by that?

eunbi: binnie hates studying, but good luck!

ahh, eunbi becomes unhinged when it comes to bin

but you know it’s bc they’re that close, they’re literally childhood best friends, more so like siblings

still, studying w him couldn’t be that bad right?

spoiler alert, it went alright

you felt bad showing up to bin’s apartment empty handed so you picked up some coffee before you arrived

you officially meet bin’s roommate, eunwoo, and you’re floored for like 2 minutes bc literally how can a man like him be real?

cue bin being a bit jealous bc yeah he knew his roommate’s perfect but like damn did you have to be affected by him too :(

eunwoo’s a good teacher alright? you actually understood the material from him

you: idk what eunbi’s talking about, you’re actually not that bad at studying bin

bin being offended: oh god what did eunbi say about me

eunwoo smirking: maybe it’s because you’re here y/n, bin usually doesn’t focus this much when it’s just me trying to help him

you: ???

bin in his head: i can’t trust anyone huh

before you left his place, you and bin planned to meet up and study one more time before your stats exam

it was just you and bin this time

although you’d never admit it, yes you tried to look good for meeting up with him

yeah he’s a friend?? at least you think you were at that level?? but still, he’s a cute friend and you really didn’t want him to see you looking crusty

you and bin end up studying for a whole 5 hours

granted, half of that time you two were messing around, eating food, trying to procrastinate for as long as you could

bc even though you two had a good handle on the material now—thanks to eunwoo—you both still hated statistics

you knew bin started to get more comfortable with you bc he started teasing you

it made you happy hehe so ofc you started to quip back at him

not at the intensity that he and eunbi do but it’s enough for you :)

he walks you back to your apartment after your study session

wow what a gentleman

bin waving bye at your door with the cutest smile: see you in class y/n :)

mayhaps your stomach did a little somersault

anyways

on the day of your exam you were freaking out

you have test anxiety ah ha ha

you woke up at 5 bc you were paranoid about being late to class

you’re like hastily looking over the notes again when you get to class like are you really prepared omg you’re psyching yourself out hella

bin comes in with 2 cups of iced coffee and he’s like woah are you okay

you: i woke up at 5 bin, idk if i can do this omg

you are like visibly in distress rn and he feels like a pang in his chest

he was gonna mess with you and say like “bet im gonna get a higher grade than you” but he smartly decides against it

instead, he just takes your hand and gives it a little squeeze: y/n, take a deep breath. you’re going to do great, you studied your ass for this and we both know that you got this material down—even eunwoo hyung said you were gonna ace this exam. just trust your instincts, okay? breathe with me.

he was staring at you so intently and genuinely when trying to calm you down

your anxiety yeeted and suddenly you felt shy

you: th...thanks bin...

bin was worried about you while taking the test rip, he kept secretly glancing at you (while also trying not to make it look like he was cheating) just to make sure that you were okay

he walks you to your next class after you both finished your exam

bin: you sure you’re okay? you said you woke up at 5, did you even eat breakfast? let’s get food after your next class.

you were feeling better after the test but like you got so endeared at his fussing

yes you and bin got lunch that day

your exam results were uploaded the next day

you immediately called bin: I GOT A 95

bin: i told you that you would ace it! i got a 90 hehe

you: bin i literally owe you and eunwoo my life, lemme buy you guys food or something

you hear a little bit of bickering over the phone and suddenly you’re talking to eunwoo

eunwoo: i would love some sushi, but since bin can’t eat seafood, why don’t you come watch his swim meet this weekend :)

you: o...h...o-okay yeah i’d love to watch, what time is it? :)

eunwoo: it’s saturday at 10 am

you: okay! i’ll see you there bin

bin already planning on drop kicking eunwoo

cha eunwoo—best wingman™

you basically beg eunbi to go with you to bin’s swim meet

eunbi: i know bin can swim, why do i have to watch him flounder around under water

also eunbi: faster bin! don’t you fucking dare lose!

bin places first this meet

are we shocked? no

okay you mentally prepared yourself for seeing him shirtless, but clearly you didn’t prep enough bc you’re on the cusp of drooling when you’re watching him from the bleachers

and let’s face it, you’re not subtle and eunbi knows everything so she’s literally closing your jaw for you and like messing with you

eunbi: y/n, you’re really sure you like bin? he’s a good guy but c’mon, i think you deserve better

you: since when did i say that i like him ???? and what do you mean ??? i think he checks...all the boxes...for me...

eunbi: maybe it’s bc i’ve known him since when he used to wet his pants so i don’t understand why people are attracted to him, but like...really, you’ve been checking him out since he removed his shirt. even the ref can see that you’re simping over him

you and eunbi meet up with eunwoo and the rest of bin’s friends—that you haven’t met yet but know of

jinjin: oh so you’re the y/n that bin’s been talking about *wink wonk*

baby you’re blushing

even more so when bin comes up to your group

mmm middle parted wet hair, muscle tee and white sweats, towel around his shoulders

he’s so hot ???

you’re all congratulating him blah blah, but like bin keeps glancing at you and all you can do is just smile and like nervous laugh

sanha: y/n! eunbi noona! you should come eat with us to celebrate bin hyung’s win

eunbi glances at you, little smirk on her face: i have plans, but i know y/n’s free! bin you make sure they get home safe after y’alls dinner plans :)

hwang eunbi—best wingwoman™

dinner with the boys was chaotic, you were talking and joking around with them as if you didn’t just meet them today

*you about to get your wallet*

bin, not even able to look at you: it’s okay y/n, i got you this time

cue the boys teasing

astro: kings of making fun of each other

rocky as the group is splitting up: walk y/n home safely hyung :) don’t stay out too late

bin: sorry about them, they’re a bunch of loud idiots...ah haha...

the walk back to your apartment is actually pretty sweet

he didn’t know if you would actually come watch his meet or not but he was excited when he actually saw you

you talk about small random things about yourselves, but it’s not like useless information, you bet that both your subconsciouses are keeping track of whatever y’all are talking about

you give each other a “friendly” hug goodnight...that lasts like a minute or so

and while you’re hugging, bin just can’t help but think that wow you fit so perfectly in his arms

and on the other hand, you’re thinking he feels so warm? so safe? you don’t want to pull away?

but ofc the hug has to end and you’re thanking him for walking you home and he’s like glued to his spot waving goodbye sweetly and waiting for you to go inside so that he knows you’re safely in your apartment before leaving

bin sighing dreamily as he walks back to his and eunwoo’s place

eunwoo waiting on the couch with a glass of water: how was your date ;)

bin: it wasn’t a date, i just walked y/n home

eunwoo: yeah, but you want it to be a date

bin: ...shut up

god why is the pining stage so long

alright everyone knows you and bin like each other

it becomes pretty obvious after the swim meet

you and him fall into this little routine of switching who buys coffee for your 8 am

and then he’d walk you to your next class afterwards

you both still don’t pay attention in stats, sorry

but that means more outside study sessions dates

you come watch his swim meets, whether astro’s there or you’re just watching by yourself

and then you and him get lunch?? early dinner?? right afterwards, it depends on whenever his meet ends

but like??? neither of you have confessed your feelings for each other

even though you both have like a little hint that yeah the feelings are mutual

you and bin are literally like this for 3 months, like damn the semester is almost over

eunbi and eunwoo are tired of your shit, they’re both just like: when the fuck are they getting together? we’re sick of this.

alright so the masterminds literally pay one of eunwoo’s friends from his major to ask you out while you’re studying with bin

let’s do mingyu why not, he was in your korean history class last year

you and bin are in the library, half studying half goofing off per usual

eunwoo, eunbi, and mingyu are at the opposite side of the floor

mingyu: u sure bin won’t clock me for trying to ask out y/n

eunwoo: probably not??

eunbi: just do it please

mingyu giving them both the finger before walking up to your table

“hey y/n...i was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me...as a date?”

you: o_o huh?

mingyu: i always thought you were cute from when we had class together last year, but i never had the balls to ask you out or anything...you’re not dating anyone, right?

you glance at bin to find that he’s already looking at you with an expression that you don’t really know how to read

you: um...well no I’m not-

bin: actually, we’re dating so y/n can’t go out with you mingyu, sorry.

mingyu’s not even phased, he just gives you a thumbs up and then leaves

you’re confused like literally what is going on—and then you process what bin said and you whip your head to look at him

bin: sorry i said that...i just felt...jealous i guess when mingyu asked you out

you: I wouldn’t have said yes anyway...I sorta like someone else

bin: fuck it, the topic already came up...y/n I’ve liked you for a while now but uh...I don’t know I guess I was scared to tell you because I’m scared of rejection

you just laugh, but not mockingly! more like bin you’re so cute wtf

“bin, why would I reject you when I’ve literally been into you for the past four months?”

it’s safe to say that you and bin officially began dating after that

eunwoo texting in their gc: bin and y/n are finally together

myungjun: fucking finally

bin: how...did u know that eunwoo...?

*eunwoo has left the chat*

alright but bin’s charm?? flirting?? teasing?? sweetness?? up 1000%

bin is touchy y’all, in private his hands are always on you, whether it be sexual or not sexual is up to you

he restrains himself in public ofc, the most he does is put a hand on your waist or hold your hand

eunbi threatens bin early on in your relationship: bin you’re like my brother, but y/n’s one of my dearest friends and if you as much make them cry i will kill you

ofc bin is still eunbi’s punching bag, but when you three are hanging out, he’s dramatic and acts like he’s hurt so he’s like whining to you

sometimes you play along and coo at him like: aww binnie, where does it hurt baby?

other times you’re like: you really think i believe that?? with the size of your biceps??

eunbi: excuse me while i vomit

okay but binnie? bestest sweetest boy

yes he looks all big and intimidating

but he’s soft—especially for you

your nicknames for each other are either “bub” or “baby”

yes will join in making fun of you with the boys, but when you start pouting he’s a goner and will defend you

bin is also a big cuddler, but i mean you’re not complaining hehe

he’s the big spoon, no questions asked

okay but being in bin’s arms is like your favorite place in the world

his frame literally just envelopes you and all you can feel and smell is him and it’s so??? content, you feel at home with him

you feel bad in the morning bc like his arm has to be sore from your weight so you try to like get out of his grasp, but he literally just whines and hugs you tighter

okay but just imagine you and bin napping and his arms are around your waist, his nose is buried in your neck and he wakes up like nuzzling his face in your shoulder like a puppy

im soft

one week you’re staying over at bin’s apartment and then the next week he’s staying over at yours, the cycle goes like that

if you’re one of my ladies with a ~vagíne~, he will buy all your cravings and your tampons/pads, literally anything you want that week, it is yours

doesn’t really get jealous now that you two are official, he knows that you’re his and he’s yours

you two lightly bicker like friends, but you’ve never had a terrible fight before

you were really close to though—or...like you did?? but it was resolved really quick

one of the only problems of bin is that he hates showing weakness and it takes him a whole lot to truly fully 100% be vulnerable with someone even if it’s someone close to him

he pulled a muscle in his arm and it cost him one of his swim meets

he had to go to rehab for like a month and you knew that mentally he’s been off bc of it

you try to ease talking him into telling you about how he’s really feeling but he just kept dodging the subject

one night after one of his rehab sessions, he came back to your place and you’re just like

“hey bubbie, how was rehab? how are you doing?”

and he just snaps at you: stop asking me how I am, y/n, it’s getting really annoying

you’re taken aback, like what the fuck where did that come from?

your eyebrows furrow and you cross your arms bc you are not going to get spoken to like that

“so me worrying about you and wondering how your recovery’s going is annoying? that’s what a partner is supposed to do, moon bin. what’s going on with you?”

bin: you’re being suffocating! it’s the only thing you ask me about nowadays, sometimes I—

oh boy you got mad

you: I ask you because I know you’re not telling me things! I know you’re suffering by yourself and I want to let you know that I’m here for you, I want to help take some of the pain away or at least help you deal with it because I’m your partner! but how can I if you can’t even let me in?? we’re fucking dating moon bin, we’re supposed to go through rough times together. and you call me suffocating...?

bin’s silent and he’s looking at the floor

you sigh, tears are building in your eyes because you’re frustrated and a bit hurt by what he said, and your voice cracks when you speak again: if i’m suffocating you, then you should leave. text me or something when you can breathe again, I don’t know.

there’s a bit of spite in your words, hidden by the pain

bin sees the tears rolling down your cheeks and that’s when he knows he fucked up

he’s never seen you cry before—besides like from a sad movie or something

so like the fact that he made you cry and hurt you with his words? damn he hates himself rn

he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you like try to push him to get away bc why is he hugging you? didn’t he just say that you were suffocating? why is he confusing

bin: baby, I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you, you’re not suffocating me I promise...you’re right about everything, I should be sharing things with you and telling you how I’m really feeling...I’m sorry.

you don’t say anything and just like sniffle and he picks you up and brings you to your bedroom and then he just lets it all out

he tells you how rehab is hard and like yeah his muscle pain is going away, but he doesn’t know if he can swim as fast as he used to and that scares him

and he tells you that sometimes he’s thought of giving up swimming since his injury, but then he thinks of you and that’s how he’s still going through with rehab

you’re his motivator and comfort but he doesn’t want to show you his weak side bc he hates that part of himself

and at this point, bin starts tearing up and you’re like stroking his hair to try and comfort him

bin: I’m not good at telling my feelings baby...probably why I didn’t tell you I liked you until 4 months later...but I promise I’ll work harder and at least try and tell them to you.

ugh pain

anyway your communication with serious things got better after that encounter

eunbi finding out that you and bin argued and he made you cry and she literally punched his stomach

you: omg eunbi stop

bin: it’s okay...I sorta deserved that

eunbi: why...are you not swearing at me? shit, bin are you okay?

he nods to the girl and just puts an arm around your shoulder: we talked things through, don’t worry. I’m all good now, but I did deserve that punch because I hurt y/n when I promised you I wouldn’t

bin ends up having a full recovery and bam his first swim meet after he got the clear from the PT, he gets first place again

all the boys and you and eunbi were there supporting him

bin was hella nervous before the meet started, but you gave him a little good luck kiss and was like: I believe in you bub, no matter the result, as long as you give it your all and don’t hurt yourself again, you’ll be the winner to me :)

this was actually when the first “i love you” was said

after your little pep talk in the locker room, bin’s just hugging you and holding you for comfort

and he just went out with it

“I love you y/n”

you blush hella hard bc you were not expecting that

obviously you’ve been feeling it like yeah your feelings for bin have grown into love for a while now

you just bury your face in his chest and hug him tighter

“I love you too binnie, now go get em bub.”

he smiles and kisses you and tells you that he’ll see you after the meet is over

you come back to the crowd where the boys and eunbi are and you just have a huge smile on your face, you’re literally glowing

myungjun: please tell me you guys didn’t fuck before his swim meet

speaking of fucking

okay let’s get down and dirty ladies and gents wink wonk mmm grr bark bark

bin is so sexy y’all like i dont need to tell you that

he’s 100% a tease

you have a little muscle kink hehe

which bin very much uses to his advantage

if bin is wearing a sleeveless shirt, you bet he wants to smash that day

will walk around shirtless after a shower or after a workout just to turn you on and then depending on his mood, he might tease you for like an hour or you’ll just get right to it

he’s very proud of his body and the work he put into it and knowing that you get turned on from one look of it?? gives him an ego boost, he loves it

one time at a party, he wore a crop top (mm hello bad idea bin) and you literally went feral

you dragged him inside the nearest bathroom and just started making out

he’s an ass guy

...all of astro are ass guys, it’s just obvious with how much they slap each other’s asses and poke each other’s assholes

okay you know how he’s touchy right? i mentioned that earlier

he always wants you on his lap

even if there’s a space available, nope your seat is his thighs

ofc when the situation allows, like you’re not gonna sit on his lap in class duh

most of the time in public like if you’re hanging out with the boys or something, it’s innocent

but if he wants to be a tease, he’ll literally just tighten his grip on your hips and grind you down onto his cock

subtle, he won’t straight up thrust into you

just enough to get his dick stirring and make you feel the outline of it through your pants

and then he just stops and hugs your waist again?? wtf

his major’s exercise science right? will ask if he can practice on you for anatomy and physiology, but you know after touching you in a couple places, y’all will just end up fucking

likes to bite and mark

very proud seeing the hickeys he leaves on you

you can bite, but you can’t bruise, idk his upper body is exposed a lot bc swimming so you can’t really leave any marks on him unless it’s the off season

foreplay’s cool, but he prefers the main event, he just wants to be in you

as much as he loves doggy, his fav position is the hook

(it’s when your legs are on his shoulders ohoho and it just lets him fuck you in a deeper angle mmm)

also in the hook, he can choke you

if i have a choking kink, you have a choking kink

okay little tangent, choking is so hot?

like just imagine you and bin are making out, he pushed you against the wall, literally grinding his hips into you, and his hand just comes up and squeezes your throat? that’s so sexy

likes butt stuff oops

i don’t make the rules, he just does

daddy kink, but no power play

will not degrade you (even if you really just want him to call you his dirty slut) bc he really values seeing you as equals

seeing your face when you cum is a must

almost always: you cumming → bin cumming

nothing gets him off more than knowing that he’s making you feel good

after !! care !!

sweetest boy!!

will clean you up with a warm towel after sex

and if you’re one of my ladies, he will always remind you to pee so that you don’t get a UTI

if y’all had a marathon or something, he will draw a bath and carry you to the bathroom and you will bathe together, so soft

always ends sex with an i love you :’)

okay let’s get back to the soft stuff

special thing about swimmer bin: pool dates

sometimes when he’s practicing and it’s just him, he asks you to come to the aquatic center and you two end up splashing around and being cute together

he like knew that you were the one for him some time during senior year

it was the holidays and his parents invited you to spend christmas with their family since your parents were out of the country this break

his parents and sister liked you immediately—which you were so scared about, but bin just knew

you woke up early christmas eve (and bin was out like a rock) so you just went downstairs to brew some coffee or something and you saw that his mom was already starting on making food

naturally, you offered your help and she was like no, you’re a guest y/n, but obviously you started helping

bin comes downstairs like an hour or two later to see you, his mom, and his dad just cooking and listening to christmas music and talking and his heart just like swells??

you: morning binnie :)

his mom: how can you be sleeping when y/n’s here helping us with christmas dinner

his dad: what kind of boyfriend are you, son?

just kidding all jokes

but that’s the moment when he knew

best boyfriend bin ugh

he becomes a legend in the school for swimming

but doesn’t continue after college, he’s all about becoming a physical trainer after graduation

he goes to grad school, while you’re out working in business

bin moves in with you after graduating, it was the obvious next step

you do talk about the future together, but obviously bin’s still in school and you’re both fresh from undergrad so there’s no rush yet to tie the knot

doesn’t stop his or your parents from talking to you two about marriage tho oops

ugh but the domesticity after bin moves in with you? superb

like yeah obviously you both basically lived together anyway when he still roomed with eunwoo just from how much you and him spent at each other’s places

but like your apartment is now both of your place and it’s like your home is finally complete

your apartment becomes the reunion place for the boys and eunbi

at this point everyone knew you and bin were gonna get married eventually

eunwoo and eunbi: we did that ;)

and that’s how you and your college bf!bin live happily ever after uwu

happy birthday binnie moonbob ♥

1-25-21

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