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neutron-stars-collision · 11 months ago

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Deadlines & Commitments

Neil x F!Reader

Chapter 4 - North Greenwich Underground Station

Masterlist; Chapter 3 Summary: Neil's brief disappearance does nothing to extinguish the sparks. As he returns, you make a series of discoveries about each other and grow ever so much closer. Warnings: Swearing, E-rated language, ridiculous amounts of flirting as per usual. Buckle up bc we're amping the pace a little... ;) Author's Notes: Well... that was a long break between the chapters 🙈 My apologies, turns out that having a job takes away the little joys in life like writing silly stories. Anyways, here we are, at last. With another 10.7k. And this one's packed with many good, fun things ;))) Some of those scenes had been months in the making (if not years, considering I first mentioned this AU to Shet in like 2021? I think?). So, yeah. They had it long time coming. More cameos, more nonsensical POV changes and, above all, more certified idiocy by them two kids. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think? 💕 Taglist: @hollandorks, @kristevstewart, @stargirl25 (let me know if you want to be added)

What Neil’s departure from London did not do was change the way things worked between you. Although you only had meagre information about his whereabouts (such as that he was within the same time zone but in a different country), there was no sense of a breach building in the space of that strange yet solid connection. With the anxieties surrounding the imminent ‘Don Quixote’ premiere keeping your blood pressure high daily, you more than enjoyed being able to pick up your phone and message him whenever possible.

He did not always respond immediately, but it was not a must. What mattered was that Neil eventually got back to you. Never disclosing any information about his work trip, apart from the fact that it was warm there even in mid-October, he still made the effort to keep up with your antics. In that sense, the insanity of the date you had risked changed absolutely nothing.

But it also changed everything.

It was as if your free will chose to conspire with the soul’s desires to get what they wanted. Namely – Neil. Because as soon as you had even begun considering breaching the line separating friendship from every other kind of relationship, your brain decided it was done.

Being his girlfriend was not on the list of priorities or wants, but getting in his pants definitely was. It was almost freeing to admit.

The only question left after all that soul-searching was whether Neil wanted you like that, too. Sometimes there were no doubts about that, either.

Almost a week in, with the ballet previews looming on the horizon and no chance of sleep anytime soon, you huffed an annoyed sigh and picked up the phone from your bedside table. Bleary eyes registered the hour (five past midnight) as you opened apps randomly, already giving up on the promise of sleep. It took you another few minutes to make up your mind, open the texts and stare at the conversation with Neil. It had been a few hours since the last exchange concerning the warmth of the climate wherever he was. You had been (fruitlessly) trying to make Neil send you a picture. Of himself. Not necessarily without clothes, but that was the dream. And a girl was allowed to dream, right?

Squinting at the screen, you hesitated for another millisecond before typing out the simple question:

/ 🏹, 00:15 am/ Are you missing me yet?

Neil did not make you wait for long.

/✝️, 00:26 am/ Obviously.

/✝️, 00:26 am/ I’m barely coping here, sunshine.

/ 🏹, 00:29 am/ Gee, you’re making it too easy.

/✝️, 00:30 am/ Making what too easy?

/ 🏹, 00:33 am/ Missing you.

/ 🏹, 00:34 am/ See, I thought my cheeky line would get a lukewarm response, so I was prepared to tease you further.

/ 🏹, 00:34 am/ And now I’ve no quips to offer.

/✝️, 00:39 am/ Apologies. I’ll do better next time.

/ 🏹, 00:40 am/ I’ll make sure of that.

/✝️, 00:42 am/ And what punishment do you propose?

/ 🏹, 00:43 am/ I’ve always wondered what you’d sound like if you begged.

/✝️, 00:44 am/ It could probably be arranged.

/✝️, 00:45 am/ I’ve no qualms about getting on my knees for a beautiful woman.

/✝️, 00:45 am/ But that would hardly be a punishment.

/ 🏹, 00:48 am/ Yeah, but if I let you have that and then left you… on your knees, so painfully hard with no release… How would that feel?

/✝️, 00:51 am/ You win this one.

/✝️, 00:52 am/ And yes, I’m blushing. Fiercely.

/ 🏹, 00:59 am/ Good, I was hoping you are. Goodnight, Neil.

As you hit send on the last message, your head hit the pillows with an audible ‘oof’. Your cheeks burned; the blush invisible in the dark yet still very much there. That was the problem with Neil and your chats. It was impossible to say when they would turn in that direction. When you would both lose control and follow a line of conversation that probably never should have happened. Not that you were complaining.

It was good to know what you could expect from Neil. If things happened the way you wished, they would. Admittedly, he’d look good on his knees. That was a fact.

That night you only got five hours of sleep, but who counted it anyway. What mattered was that you had some excellent dreams. Dreams that you hoped would end up prophetic.

On other days, your conversations were a little more serious. Like that early afternoon when you just finished the final in-costume run of the Cupid variation and exited the ROH to wander the streets of Soho. Whenever you felt close to losing your sanity, the walk around those familiar spots always did the trick. It was easier to breathe, to hope that you would not fuck it all up when the curtain call came. To believe that imposter syndrome was nothing more than a vile bitch.

Sighing against the thoughts muddling your brain, you took out the phone and immediately noticed the new message:

/✝️, 1:49 pm/ How’s the garden of the Dryads coming along?

/✝️, 1:50 pm/ It probably goes without saying that you’re my favourite ballerina.

/ 🏹, 2:06 pm/ Damn, that’s high praise. Especially considering that I’m the only ballerina you know.

/ 🏹, 2:06 pm/ I think the garden is coming along nicely. Not so sure about Cupid, tho.

/✝️, 2:08 pm/ I call bullshit on that.

/✝️, 2:09 pm/ I just know that you’re brilliant.

/ 🏹, 2:12 pm/ Doubt, she said.

/ 🏹, 2:12 pm/ ‘Cause like… How do you deal with the overwhelming weight of expectations?

/✝️, 2:18 pm/ I mean, I panic and lose it instantly, but generally speaking, I think you just sort of… ignore it and trust you are good enough.

/✝️, 2:19 pm/ I know that you are, Cupid. This role was made for you.

/ 🏹, 2:22 pm/ Elaborate, please. I need my ego stroked.

/✝️, 2:23 pm/ Well, she sorts of saunters onto the stage and has a minute to dazzle everyone, yeah?

/✝️, 2:24 pm/ Which is exactly what you did to me.

/✝️, 2:24 pm/ You’ve got this.

/ 🏹, 2:26 pm/ God, you’re irreconcilable. Better come back so I can force you to sit through this.

/✝️, 2:27 pm/ Working on it as we speak.

A smile painted itself on your face with an inerasable stroke of brush. Neil’s constant support and cheerleading were a welcome surprise. Sometimes, your meeting almost felt like a divine intervention. That is if you believed in such things. Because the odds of gaining both a fascinating man to pursue and a friend were quite low. And yet.

As you looped your steps back towards Covent Garden, you made the mental note to visit the box office and add a request for the guest list. It was a rare enough event to have someone you could invite to the performance. And have the right to believe they would come. You were not going to squander that sort of chance.

***

The whirring ceiling fan was starting to get on his nerves with its endless sputtering. And it was not even working, as far as Neil was concerned. The sweat still clung to his skin and trickled down his back to a point where he seriously contemplated ditching the shirt. And that rarely happened. Especially not on the job, with the whole squad confined to a medium-sized safehouse.

The bustle of the city streamed through the windows, cracked open so they could let in fresh air while still having a chance of keeping them safe from snipers and the like. Granted, one could never be fully prepared for an inverted shot, but it was worth trying not to get killed. Especially during a mission that technically was just a recon. Though Neil knew better than to believe The Protagonist when the man claimed something was perfectly safe. He meant well, sure. But despite the appearances, he did not know everything.

So, the windows cracked open three inches had to do. Neil sighed, annoyance digging deep beneath his skin to stay there for a little longer. It was another one of those boring, yet technically productive afternoons in the safehouse. Today, the task was to plan a hypothetical pincer movement. Just in case, they said. Well, Neil sure did hope the case never came to be.

He glanced at the blacked-out screen of his phone, the muscle memory betraying him as he picked up the device almost mindlessly and opened the conversation with Cupid. It had been a few hours since the last chat, which was pretty usual. They did not need to talk all the time. Neil knew that. He also knew that it was probably better they did not talk constantly. Considering that 3 out of 5 conversations always ended up dirty, up to the point where he was blushing like an idiot. And, sometimes disappeared in the bathroom to deal with some troublesome effects of those chats.

Yes, considering all that, Neil knew it was best they took some breaks. But also-

“Blondie, can you give us a hand with this?” the yell from further inside the apartment acted like a bucket of cold water tipped over his head unceremoniously.

Neil whipped his head up, glaring at the open doorway. Unfortunately, being referred to as ‘blondie’ was becoming more frequent. The petulant nature urged him to ignore it, but he knew that was hardly the last one. With another long-suffering sigh, he heaved himself out of the armchair and called back:

“I said I’m coming,” granted, that was over fifteen minutes ago, but everyone could get distracted. Right? “Would it hurt you to ask nicer?” he stalked down the corridor toward the living area with an arched eyebrow.

It was not surprising to meet a mirroring expression on the faces of Ives, Wheeler, and Jeremy sitting in a trifecta of judgment. Neil had no doubts about his place in that makeshift courtroom.

“Yes, when you’re slacking,” Wheeler dropped the disapproving glare with all the air of nonchalance and pointedly glanced at the table covered with maps and blueprints.

Neil had no choice but to sit down in the remaining chair and offer an apologetic pout to anyone willing to hear him out:

“I’m not slacking. I’m just-” whatever excuse he could whip out on a whim got interrupted prematurely.

“Otherwise occupied with your girlfriend. Yes, we know,” Wheeler raised her head once more with a dismissive wave of hand, making Neil consider the possibility that she was close to losing it right there and then.

That possibility was always worrisome, for no anger could compare to that of his friend. Especially when she was pissed off.

But that careful consideration was nothing in the face of the two realisations brought forward by that simple assumption. Firstly - Cupid was decidedly not his girlfriend. Secondly – fucking Ives.

Neil glared at the man in question, hoping his eyes would reveal the murderous intents hidden underneath as his clarifying statement broke the awkward silence:

“She’s not-” he never finished that sentence (perhaps for the better), for the harsh sound of his ringtone filled the room with cacophonic clamour. Neil scrambled to pick up the phone without as much as glancing at the screen, “Hello?” the tentative opener sounded ridiculous even to his ears.

Soon, it was clear he should have checked the caller before picking up.

“Hi, Neil,” Cupid’s silky tone caressed his ear through the device.

Neil knew she did that purposefully, solely inspired to make the idiot inside him blush and giggle like a loser. Make no mistake; Neil was certainly a loser. And an idiot.

Once he felt the shock pass enough to ensure he would not drop the phone he repeated the greeting.

“Umm, hi,” from the corner of his eye, Neil could see the accompanying trio stare at him without trying to be covert about it. Absolute assholes “You’ve never called me before” trust him to state the obvious.

For a second, Neil considered faceplanting onto the table. Equally, the idea of jumping out of the window sounded appealing. The thoughts of potential demise were interrupted by Cupid’s reply:

“I know. I just thought it might be fun to spice things up,” she was definitely enjoying this and the damage she has caused. It was audible in the lightness of her voice, the vowels curled by a cheeky smile he could hear as she asked, “How’s your day?”

No longer happy to ignore his audience, Neil turned towards them with another glare. All three stared back, with Ives going as far as shooting him a knowing smile.

“It’s fine, except for my team being desperate to berate me,” Neil directed the venom in his voice at the trio as Wheeler casually got up from the table and put the kettle on.

The light chuckle from the phone almost made him feel better about it.

“That’s rude,” her remark contrasted with the laughter he could hear in her voice. Yet it was too late to raise the alarm or prepare for what would follow, “Would it be better if I reminded you what a good boy you are?” as soon as Cupid finished the question, Neil felt the full-body reaction she wanted.

A shudder ran through his spine as his face flushed pink. On a last conscious thought, Neil leapt up from the chair and paced towards the window, hiding from the group. A half-swallowed groan broke through his mouth as he tightened his fist, hopelessly trying to forget how those two words sounded on her lips. It was pathetic.

The more tragic outcome was that now Cupid had even more blackmailing material in her arsenal.

“Jesus Christ, you’re evil,” Neil knew he still sounded wrecked.

There was no way of hiding that. Of making her forget this had just happened and the conclusions she could draw from it. Neil barely resisted the urge to smash his head into the window.

“Oh, so it would help,” as expected, Cupid sounded delighted by what had transpired. The cheeky smile he liked way too much was undoubtedly present on her face as she added, “Not so dully noted” may he rest in pieces, apparently, “When are you coming back?” the question sounded almost out of place.

Yet even in his muddled mind, Neil knew it was genuine. That she wanted to know. If that fact meant anything at all, he did not know. And he tried his hardest not to think about it too much.

“Why? You miss me?” ignoring the chorus of ‘awws’ behind his back, Neil allowed himself to ask.

Even if only for emotional validation. Because while she has hinted at it before, Neil was never tired of being reminded. The whole thing with her might have been hopeless, but it did not change how he worked. How his heart ticked and what beat it chose. Tragically, romanticism was tricky to get rid of. Neil experienced that first-hand.

“You know that I do,” Cupid did not mind humouring his whims as she offered a simple admission without a fight.

With all his predictability, Neil could not hold back the idiotic grin from making an appearance. Sure, it had no future, but that did not make him less eager to play along. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Famous last words and all. Probably.

“I should be back in a week. More or less,” that was the hope, anyway.

The few stray thoughts that had somehow escaped the web spun by Cupid, and her attention reminded him about the work still left to be done. Like the fucking pincer movement plan. With threebastards taunting him mercilessly. So much fun.

“Fab. I got you a great seat for the premiere, so… You know what to do,” the hopeful note in her voice was worth the future pain.

He had no doubts about it. The fact was that Neil was looking forward to the ballet. The hazy memories of seeing ‘Swan Lake’, aged six, hardly compared to the Royal Ballet company. It was a good enough reason to attend. The other excellent reason was Cupid herself, but that was best unsaid. And unthought. Somehow.

“Got you,” ignoring the ridiculous thoughts, Neil offered her a smile she could not see and a silent prayer cast into the heavens that he was not lying unknowingly.

“I know you do. You’re a good boy, Neil,” Cupid’s strike came with no warning.

Yet again, she dropped her tone a notch and whispered the damned two words with a breathy sigh. The metaphorical nail to the coffin this time was how she said his name, almost caressing the letters. And yes, this time it worked, too.

Neil had the mind to faceplant into the window and groan with frustration. The inescapable blush warmed up his cheeks as his body shivered. Some… particular parts of his physique also showed interest in what was happening, eternally oh so eager to betray his wish to stay unbothered.

“For fuck’s-” the choked curse got swallowed by the mightiest effort on his side as Neil took a steadying breath and asked, “Why?”

As if happy to punish him, Cupid laughed.

“Because it’s fun,” the unspoken duh made him both more annoyed and more bewitched by her, “I’ll let you work now, but…” as did the carrot dangled in front of his face like the sweetest of baits.

Always the idiot, Neil could not possibly ignore it.

“Yeah?” he could hear her take a deep breath as if steeling herself for a difficult admission.

“I’m glad we’ve met,” Cupid whispered the confession without as much as a pause between the words.

“Me too,” his reply got lost in the static as she hung up.

Letting out the breath he did not know he was holding, Neil lowered the phone onto the windowsill and stared at the city outside. Well then. The call would take a while to process; that was unquestionable.

“Aw, aren’t you two cute?” Ives’ teasing threw Neil out of that pleasantly fuzzy mind space with all the grace of an elephant.

He turned around with the glower at the ready. This time, he could not bite back the curse:

“Shut the fuck up,” on an afterthought, Neil added, “Please,” noticing the soldier open his mouth for a quip, he dropped his tone to a warning timbre. That called for a final caution, “Unless you want to start looking for a new physicist,” his glare slipped over the trio before Neil settled at the table and unfolded the blueprints without another word.

***

When that awaited text from Neil came, bearing the information that he was back in London and happy to meet you whenever you did not jump for joy. Definitely not. What you did do was grin and discuss the possible rendezvous immediately. When that Tuesday afternoon arrived, with the glory of a decent rehearsal and a good coffee in your paper cup, you happily bypassed the crowds at Green Park and skipped the steps down to the correct platform.

That twenty-minute walk to the station was a blessing, just as much as a curse. When Neil proposed the time you could meet on the train, you did not correct him about your location that day. Or that grabbing the Jubilee line would be entirely off the quickest route back home. You just accepted the time and place and ignored the voice at the back of your head reminding you that this was not how you usually behaved.

It could go fuck itself.

Once you settled on the platform, one glance at the watch told you the next train would be the right one. The strange giddiness sparked in your veins, but you blamed it on the three-week gap between the meetings. It was just that, nothing more. Obviously.

The autopilot carried you through the motions until you had boarded the carriage and came face to face with the cause of all this idiocy. Neil smiled, instantly clocking you before you had even placed both feet inside. It was impossible to keep your face neutral, returning the grin and manoeuvring around the commuters to sit next to him on the three plastic chairs facing the sliding doors.

Then, as if seized by insanity, you propelled your body forward with the arms coming up around Neil’s neck to embrace him tightly. His freeze took approximately twenty seconds to thaw as he returned the hug with equal strength. You could feel the warmth of his breath hitting the crook of your neck and making you fight back a shiver that would not do. Instead, you let yourself breathe him in, rest in the moment that was potentially a mistake. Still, you were not going to treat it like one. Not when the warmth of his hands seeped through the clothes as they rested on your waist.

When the lurch of the train reminded you of reality and all its flaws, you ruefully disentangled from Neil and met his wary gaze. His blue eyes scanned your face as if looking for clues towards the reasons for the madness you just allowed yourself. When that offered no answers, Neil broke the silence with a careful observation:

“I didn’t know that we’re doing hugs,” his impassive face offered no clues either, triggering a wave of uncertainty you had to smother.

Because what if you went too far? What if that was not what Neil wanted?

“We are now,” the confidence was missing from the statement, making you add a crucial question, “Is that okay?” you could hear the insecurity in your voice, betraying the worries.

They disappeared the moment Neil flashed you a smile, his hand lightly patting your knee as a complement to the simple reassurance:

“Sure is,” lowering his gaze to catch yours, Neil winked.

Thank fuck. It surely made life much easier. Or the plans you might or might have not made regarding him. Now that the crisis had passed, you shifted in the seat to find a more comfortable position and allowed yourself a selfish look, measuring him up as usual. The slight tan line revealed by the rolled-up sleeves confirmed what you did know about his disappearance. The minor tiredness in how he carried his body strengthened your guesses. The rest of him blinded you as always.

Especially the three buttons left undone, revealing a strip of his chest. And inspiring ungodly thoughts in your head. Ignoring that what could not be addressed. Especially not right now in a carriage full of people. You switched your attention to the other crucial topic. Everything was better than being arrested for public indecency. At least you did hope so.

“How was the trip?” you noted the shift in Neil’s posture.

How he strengthened in the seat, the mask back in place. Although his mystery had fallen into the background over the acceleration of your dynamic, it was still very much present. You had to figure him out. Had to crack the case. Even if it killed you.

For now, though, simply asking mundane questions had to be enough.

“Well… it was fine. The usual” the answer did not help much, however.

Neil looked as if he knew how enigmatic it sounded but could not do anything about it. Upon your questioning look, he only shrugged and offered no further details. This time, you could not let the moment pass without a comment. You rolled your eyes, a frustrated huff interrupting the silence with petulance:

“God, you couldn’t be any less mysterious if you tried,” although anger was not one of the present emotions, you knew Neil would understand the message as you glared at him without heat.

He winced as if admitting to the guilt you hinted at and turned to you with a more open expression on his face:

“Sorry, it’s uh… maybe one day,” Neil met your gaze meaningfully, making you keener to believe him.

You held his gaze for a beat, even if only to have an excuse to look into his eyes and see Neil without the veil of pretence. It was easy to hope one day he would tell you more. That there was one day, somewhere along the line, waiting for you. That whatever was happening would not burn to a cinder in two weeks and leave you bereft. As things like this tended to do.

“I’ll hold you to that,” before breaking the eye contact, you reached for his hand.

It was another insane reflex that was difficult to explain, even to yourself. Yet, still, Neil went willingly. His long fingers tangled with yours without resistance and allowed you to rest your joined palms between the seats, almost like a beacon to whoever was curious about your meeting. And you could see the nosy stares, the inquisitive grandmas eager to judge and label everything and everyone existing within their vicinity.

You used the warmth of your connected hands to anchor you in the present as Neil asked:

“How’s the imposter syndrome? Did it fuck off at last?” the softness in his eyes could undoubtedly be fatal.

As was the way he knew what to ask and hit the jackpot without even trying. Because, of course, the feeling of not being good enough did not disappear. Of course, you still got up every morning with the vague desire to approach the ballet director and tell her you are giving up. That you cannot do this. It almost seemed like Neil could sense your thoughts.

Which was both terrifying and appealing, if you were to be honest. It would make your job easier if he knew exactly what you were thinking. About him.

“I wish,” the suffering sigh was a cheap trick, but viable in your books, “I still think I’m going to embarrass myself, but well,” not willing to give up the comfortable weight of his hand in yours, you offered Neil a one-sided shrug “Can’t exactly capitulate now” the desperate edge to that sentence did not escape his attention.

Sure, you would not actually give up, but that did not mean you were not half-heartedly wishing it happened anyway. Ideally, in the form of someone else doing the job for you. Pathetic, innit?

Neil squeezed your hand, capturing your attention without needing to try at all. The frown was still present on your face, its force turning the corners of your mouth downwards. As always, Neil seemed to see through all that you were not saying. He met your gaze (which was a feat considering you were happy to look anywhere but at him) and spoke:

“I wouldn’t let you,” there was an edge to his voice, a steely resolve that told you the conversation was gaining another layer.

A different destination to the one you had expected at first. Although, with how your chats recently played out, it was to be anticipated. Probably.

Without giving yourself the time to overthink, you leaned closer to Neil and placed a hand on his thigh. You could see his eyes widen upon the move, the pupils blowing up in the quickest form of flattery a man could give you. Sharpening your smile to the perfectly saccharine variant, you delivered the prepared lines:

“Oh yeah?” his thigh muscles tensed underneath your hand as Neil’s mouth fell agape without him being fully in control of the reaction. It was adorable. And an ideally ripe ground to lay the final strike, “You’d force me? Have your way with me?” the sparks in his eyes were a pretty addition to the already gorgeous picture.

At that moment, you knew that you had missed this. No texting could ever replace the real thing. The back and forth with the arresting strength of his eye contact and the unpredictable suspense of what would come next. Like the sudden softening of Neil’s features and an unexpectedly tentative counter to your bold questions:

“If you’d let me,” he swallowed hard as if desperately trying to get rid of the thoughts in his head and simultaneously unable to shake them off.

As if ripping the thread connecting him to you and shortening it at an alarming rate was causing Neil physical pain. The revelation acted like a hot poker pressed against the tender skin of your palm. It was difficult to shrug it off as if it was nothing. It nagged and prodded until you could do nothing but stare dumbly at him, feeling every passing second like a wasted beat of time you would never get back.

Before you could get your shit together in any way, it was too late. Neil had already jumped to conclusions, as you worried he might. His brows furrowed as his teeth nibbled on the chapped bottom lip in a familiar nervous tic. Slowly, as if navigating a mined battlefield, he shifted in the seat, widening the space between you by a fraction. You noticed it anyway.

“You don’t mind that this sort of thing keeps happening?” the question was completed with a vague gesture, slashing the air between you awkwardly.

The inflexion offered no space for doubt. Neil concluded that you very much did mind. That somehow you were not an active and eager participant in the heavy flirting and mutual teasing. Neil was an idiot.

And you had to put that point across instantly.

“Why would I mind?” without thinking, you let your fingers repeatedly stroke his forearm as you leaned back into his orbit to confess what ought to have been obvious, “I mean every word I say to you. Including all that post-Watershed talk” it was delightful to see your favourite smile disrupt his frown.

At the same time, it was nice to have it out in the open, no longer unsaid and implied. Because you did mean it. And you did want it. Whatever Neil would offer, be it a friendship or more. The choice was his.

You could pinpoint when the weight lifted off his shoulders and let him breathe deeper. You stared as Neil absorbed and processed the information, his blue eyes showing a spectrum of emotions. Some were unreadable. Other more obvious, like the devilish sparks that always guaranteed the conversation would take a curious turn. Or the cautious hope, making him look so much younger and innocent. Your unoccupied hand itched with the desire to brush his golden locks from his forehead, so you tightened it into a fist hidden in the coat pocket.

Just like you hid everything that had no place in your life.

At the periphery of your attention, you could register the called stations. Or the fact that your stop was mercilessly getting closer. Only one question could make you forget the reality altogether:

“So, what would you do if I kissed you?” when Neil asked, you were glad you had never forced yourself to look away from him.

That hesitant hope was still there, lightening up his eyes. You let it pull you in, as there was no need to search your heart for an answer. It was fair to assume Neil knew that, too. The question was only a preliminary. But it was still admirable he asked. People rarely did.

You shrugged, highlighting the evident conclusion he hopefully had already reached. It would have been easy to close the gap and let that be the answer. Too easy. It was enough that you could hardly ever look away from him, constantly drawn and arrested by his eyes.

Forcing yourself to break the spell, you met his gaze and offered him an impassive smile. If only to keep up the façade for a little longer.

“There’s only one way to find out, Neil,” you hoped that was enough, that he would understand the ball was back in his court to do as he pleased.

You also hoped Neil came to the right solution. Sadly, that did not seem to come to be just yet. One glance outside the window alarmed you about the surroundings and that you were arriving at your station. The frown twisted your mouth downwards as you risked a glance at Neil. The disappointment in his eyes told you he already caught up.

Two choices were waiting at your disposal. You could either stay, miss your stop to find out what would happen next. Or you could choose cowardice and leave the carriage, delaying the fateful moment a little longer. Definitely not forever.

It was hard to say why you chose the second option. Why you stood up without as much as a look at Neil and feigned a cheery farewell that felt foreign on your tongue. Later, you were keen to pretend it was just the influence of the moment. A sudden spell of insanity.

“Oops, that’s me. See you soon,” it was a miracle that you did not trip in the haste to get out.

You barely registered the surroundings as you bolted towards the sliding door and stepped onto the platform, missing the gap by mere millimetres. It was pure luck that you did not walk into any poor soul as you attempted to get away from the train as fast as possible.

You did not get the time to flee. All because you did not consider one thing – Neil had a choice, too.

When you felt a hand take yours and pull you back, there was that split second of panic. Your disoriented mind rapidly flicked through at least ten different disastrous scenarios, starting at a random appearance of Liam and ending at a violent assault you were about to be subjected to. Only then, at the very end, your brain pushed forward another observation. There was something familiar about that handhold.

Before you had a second to follow that thought, the interrupter pulled at your hand, making you whirl around to face them. Your widened gaze fell upon the undone tortoiseshell shirt buttons and wandered up the neck to land on Neil’s blue eyes, patiently staring back at you. It took you another second to understand what happened. And another one to begin processing what it could mean. Why he did it.

Without being aware of the movement of your body, you stepped closer to Neil, tightening the bubble you both had created in the middle of the platform. People bypassed you as they rushed to the train with the beeping doors hastening their steps. But that hardly mattered. It was just white noise. Unimportant and ignorable.

Unlike Neil, who closed the gap between your bodies to mere millimetres, and wordlessly repeated the question from before. The answer did not change. You offered him a tiny nod, not feeling the need to speak. The surrealism of the moment could not be labelled anyhow.

From the second you had tasted Neil’s lips, you knew it would not be something you could forget. That the feel of him would burn into the cortex of your brain and stay there to haunt you for eternity. You were right.

Your eyes snapped shut as soon as he closed the distance and covered your mouth with his in a soft kiss. His gentle and pliant lips caressed yours attentively without effort, making you cling even closer to him. Your arms came around Neil’s neck as your fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck. It took another second, a blissful beat of existence, to make you kiss him back. Just as carefully. Just like you never kissed anyone before.

Neil’s relief came through in a short gasp, let out into your opening mouth, and the warm weight of his palms came up to rest on your waist beneath the open coat. Following the logic you did not understand, you tilted your head and allowed his prying tongue to lick into your mouth. The liquid heat traversed your veins, warming up your skin as Neil took his time to map out the inside of your mouth. Suddenly, the instant connection you felt made sense. Things clicked into place as you breathed the taste of him and breathed out the uncertainty. It felt right. Good. Unforgettable, even.

It felt like no first kisses and endless one-night stands ever did. And that made no sense.

Soon, that first kiss evolved into another and then the next. The platform, the people and the noise faded into the background as you swapped kisses, barely interrupted by quiet groans and swallowed gasps. On its own accord, your hand ventured up to tangle in his hair, grabbing a fistful of the golden locks and tugging in time with a particularly hungry nip taken out of Neil’s bottom lip. The reward of a barely stifled moan was more than worth it.

As was how Neil held you close and returned your kisses with equal zeal. He matched your energy and pushed you further until the remaining part of your conscience worried about being arrested for public indecency.

When the burn of your lungs excelled that of your soul, you placed a palm over the centre of his chest and pushed Neil back. Just a fraction. Just to catch your breath. His answering whine felt like another spark of pride, making your eyes glow with self-satisfaction. That was better than any other form of gratification you could think of.

When you finally forced yourself to blink your eyes open and look at Neil, you were met with kiss-bruised lips and darkened blue eyes, showing nothing else but hunger. At least ten increasingly ridiculous religious metaphors battled for leadership in your mind, but you pushed them all aside. The most accurate comment went to two simple words, pushed forward by the strength of your soul’s crudeness. Fucking hell. In the best of meanings, that is.

Following deeply rooted instincts, your tongue darted out to thoroughly trace the expanse of your bottom lip. And get remains of his taste, that you had already started missing. As far as kisses had gone, this one was pretty damn spectacular.

Neil seemed frozen, his eyes fixed on your mouth as if that was the only thing he could do. Admittedly, it was adorable. Yet, still, you decided to break the spell, the only way you could think of:

“I think your train has left,” you glanced over his shoulder, noting the expectedly empty platform.

Only now, when the haze of the kiss (or rather a whole make-out session) had begun to lift, you could understand what had transpired. And that Neil was keen to delay his return home for the price of a kiss. Or for the hope of a kiss, for clearly, he did not think he would get that far. Idiot.

You could see it now, back on his face. The slight disorientation and confusion suggested Neil could barely believe that what just happened was real. He blinked twice, then again, as if forcing himself to wake up and met your gaze with wide eyes. Without thinking, you allowed the hand you had pressed flat to his chest to venture up, stopping when your fingers started grazing over his neck. That was the trigger Neil needed to return to reality. He seized your adventurous fingers in a loose hold and placed your joined hands back over his heart. You could feel it racing.

“I’ll wait for the next one,” Neil offered you a half-smile, the uncertainty shining through the tentative joy in his eyes.

It was not something you were used to. Usually, after a kiss like that (never even preceded with a question, because who the fuck still asked for kisses?), you only ever got smugness. And an attempt at a smooth transition to sex, which did or did not succeed, depending on the participating party). Never uncertainty. Never shyness. Never contentment with what happened without pushing you for more.

You didn’t know what to do with any of it.

“No regrets?” the question was also one that you never asked before.

Not after something as trivial as a first kiss. But then, nothing was the way it usually went with Neil. That much was quite clear.

“Not really. You?” as if sensing your growing uncertainty, Neil did not hesitate before answering the question.

He squeezed your fingers, still wrapped in his palm and met your gaze with something almost resembling confidence. Somehow, that was enough. You took a fortifying breath to gather courage and discard the doubts. There would be more than enough time to deal with them later. Hopefully.

For now, there were other things to do and say. Like answering Neil’s question and reclaiming the conversation from its sombre paths. Especially since no cell in your body regretted the kiss. Or any other thing you had ever said or hinted at to him. It is just that somehow, somewhere along the line, your normal confidence had been wiped off the table. And it felt like it was never to be seen again. Not like before.

You hoped to ignore that bit of revelation, too.

“Nope. I’d offer a coffee at mine, but… I think some things need a better build-up,” you hoped the chaos in your head was not easily seen as you dropped the line with an attempt at the usual smoothness and met Neil’s eyes with remaining poise.

You meant that, too. A part of you, the same that had difficulties ending the kiss, wanted to continue it wherever it may lead you. You were quite sure you knew where it was going. And you certainly wanted that. But, at the same time, rushing into it seemed… wrong. As if the fact that you also wanted to be friends with Neil needed a little more respect. A little more time.

You could tell he understood from the way Neil nodded, his eyes still blown out by the darkened pupils.

“Agreed,” he shook his head slightly as if trying to clear it before glancing at the timing screen over your heads. Whatever the impact those 7 minutes of waiting had, the next thing Neil did was to heave a sigh and set his weary eyes on you, “Actually, I might walk back home. Should probably clear my head,” a small smile lifted the corner of his mouth.

Without overthinking the act, you seized his hand and started for the stairs. Just because you were not yet taking him home did not mean you could not drag out the goodbye. Right?

Right.

***

Although the kiss was not forgotten and only added to the general restlessness, you never mentioned it again. It was another layer added to the sprinkled, complex mess that was your relationship. A tiered cake that had so many flavours it was impossible to label it using a concise, less than five-word description. It just did not get discussed.

That was both a blessing and a curse, considering that with mere days left till the public Don Quixote premiere you could barely handle one type of stress and uncertainty. Let alone two. The reality check deadline crept up on you without warning, catching you pacing the flat for over an hour the evening before the official pre-premiere. The event always happened at least a night before the opening soiree and was reserved for the press, Royal Ballet directory and special guests of honour. It also meant that every detail of the performance had to be up to par if one wanted to continue advancing the career in the company. Which you did want. Desperately. It was just bloody unfortunate that the usual insanity of anxiety now was interlaced with something else.

Something that made you stop the pacing and pick up the phone only to open the messages and stare at the text conversation with Neil. It had been a few hours, and considering the 9 pm on the clock, you had a fair right to believe that he might be asleep. Maybe. But that could hardly deter the part of your brain that tended to get ahead of itself. Especially fuelled by stress and anxiety.

Without letting yourself falter, you typed the question:

/ 🏹, 9:04 pm/ Are you still up?

Luckily, you only had to hold your breath for an answer (or a lack of it) for less than 5 minutes. For that, your lungs were eternally thankful.

/✝️, 9:08 pm/ Is this the moment you ask me for dick pics?

A ridiculous guffaw broke the silence of your flat, along with that necessary intake of oxygen. Conversations like those still happened daily and only increased the want you could not get rid of if you tried.

And you didn’t try. There was no point to it.

/ 🏹, 9:09 pm/ Nah. Not yet.

You were having fun, chatting the shit on the daily with someone who seemed more than eager to keep the ball going. That was partially why you reached out on a whim, desperate to get out of the flat even for a little while. After all, asking Neil offered a fifty-fifty chance of an entertaining evening. All other intentions did not have to be disclosed. Even in your mind.

/✝️, 9:10 pm/ That’s a relief.

/✝️, 9:10 pm/ How can I be of service, my lady?

/ 🏹, 9:11 pm/ You’ve no idea, babe.

/ 🏹, 9:12 pm/ I was thinking of going to the dance studio, that’s open till midnight. Do you want to come?

/ 🏹, 9:12 pm/ You’ve said you wanted to see me dance so…

After sending the third message, you put down the phone and exhaled. That nervousness residing in your bones was new. It was almost as if it mattered what Neil’s answer would be. As if you cared whether he would say yes to the tentative proposition. None of that had ever happened before.

The urge to faceplant into the pillow was derailed by the buzz of an incoming message. With embarrassing speed of reaction, you read the texts:

/✝️, 9:15 pm/ Happily.

/✝️, 9:15 pm/ When and where do we meet?

You grinned. As you copied and pasted the location pin into the message, you could already feel a different type of nervousness enter your system. It was time for Neil to see you dance. You would also see him for the first time since the kiss. It was high time someone covered this topic on wikiHow. Or, at least, you thought so.

***

Although the Royal Ballet had more than good enough facilities at the Covent Garden building, the company could also use a studio by the Southwark Underground Station whenever you felt like it. Conveniently, that alternative place was open till midnight on weeknights, offering a one-in-a-million chance to run over the choreography for a billion times more before the pre-premiere. Without an audience of your fellow ballet dancers and their critical eyes, at that.

The other perk to the external studio was that nothing stopped you from bringing someone from the outside along. Nothing except for maybe the deeply rooted fear of showing Neil what you could do. Or couldn’t do.

That fear had not left through the Uber drive from your flat, growing in force from the moment you set your eyes upon Neil waiting outside the studio with a smile on his face. You exchanged the usual niceties, bypassing the awkward tint to the interaction with an avoided hug and nonsensical commentary from your side.

The nerves seemed to reach the peak as you left Neil in the main ballet studio room, the space lit up sparsely to maintain the strangely surreal atmosphere of those late autumn nights in London when nothing seems to be tangible and real. Having left the house in a pre-planned rehearsal outfit, you only took off the unnecessary layers, leaving you in a simple bodice and a wrap mid-thigh skirt and pulled on the woollen leg warmers to keep the chill at bay.

Luckily for your racing heart, the ritual of putting on and lacing up the pointe shoes always did its magic, allowing you to centre yourself and take a couple of deep breaths. Until there was nothing left but to march out of the changing room and connect your phone to the speaker, the right track ready for you to press play.

But before you could go that far, you made the mistake of locating Neil in the room. He had settled on the floor opposite you, his back pressed to the mirror-covered walls of the studio. He stared as you entered the invisible stage and offered you an encouraging smile. A slow, gentle warm-up was a valid opportunity to falter. A necessary step you had to take while also admitting that it was convenient. Although, Neil’s attentive gaze following your every move was much less convenient.

Once you had run out of all other options, you started the music, put down the phone and took up position. Desperate to rehearse as much as possible, you chose to go through the entire dream sequence at the end of Act 2. As always, the Minkus score did its magic, helping you settle into the movement and almost forget about everything else.

You followed the steps with practised ease, hearing the dull thud of pointe shoes hitting the hardwood floors with each landing between the orchestral notes. When the cue to finish was near you were almost out of breath. The pearls of sweat clung to your temples as the sweetness of exertion burned through your muscles and tendons. When those final notes rang off in the quiet studio, you held the finishing pose and waited for the music to end. The resulting silence was deafening.

Slowly, as if pained to do it, you opened your eyes. Neil was right where you had left him; his gaze seemingly never trailed away. But the exact look on his face was different. Instead of the ease and unbothered nonchalance he tried to emit earlier, Neil was now speechless. Dazed. His mouth was still agape, and he had to remind himself to close it before swallowing hard. You tried your hardest not to let that get into your head. You failed.

“So… what do you think?” unable to keep quiet for much longer, you released the question into the ether with a permanent frown and a minimal level of conviction.

It seemed to be what Neil needed to wake up from the stupor. He shifted, pulled up his knees to his chin and eyed you with a bright gaze. The desire to look away rose with every minute, but you tried to endure it. Somehow.

“You’re brilliant. Do you know that?” the matter-of-fact tone threw you off kilter, bringing out an automatic (albeit manic) grin from its hiding back onto your face.

Neil mirrored the expression instantly, only widening your smile in the process. Feeling the need to move again, you flexed your calves, completing a set of rapid changements. Only once that was done you could attempt to answer the question.

“Maybe,” you shrugged, unwilling to stray onto that sort of honest territory just yet, “It doesn’t hurt to hear it again, though,” unable to ignore that one voice at the back of your head that had not been convinced, you asked, “Was it actually… good?” the emphasis on the word was automatic.

You could tell Neil saw right through your faux nonchalance as he smiled, a different type of fondness shining in his eyes. That, too, was best left alone for now. The observation was shelved among others of its kind in the darkest cavern of your brain. Ideally left alone for good, never to be touched or thought of again. Just in case.

Neil’s gaze never strayed from yours as he offered you an answer without a hint of exasperation:

“As far as my virgin eyes could tell, it was perfect,” the corner of his mouth rose in the makings of a familiar smirk.

It eradicated any illusions that he did not know what he was saying. Or the effect the sentence would have. You closed your eyes against the sight, hopelessly willing the inconvenient feelings to disappear.

By now, it was painfully clear that Neil could be a bastard when he wanted to. It was just another thing that you liked about him. Perhaps too much.

For a second, you debated following the easy way out he had offered. It would have been effortless to take up the tone and turn the conversation into yet another pleasant back-and-forth that could potentially lead you past the talking. Past that one kiss, that had lowkey driven you insane with the promise of potential.

But the doubts were still there. They still clouded your mind like a flock of hungry birds of prey hunting for a bite of flesh. And Neil was the only person you could talk to and know he would listen. That he would care. For some reason, it was a crucial thing to share. An important topic to raise. Here and now.

“Allow me to ignore that double entendre potential for a second,” your apologetic frown was accepted with a subtle nod and meaningful glance.

“You’re excused, Cupid,” Neil grinned, evidently taking pleasure from the nickname you became fond of.

Especially because it was him, who bestowed it on you.

“Thank you,” shaking off the sudden rush of affection, you completed the gratitude with a cheeky addition, returning Neil’s smirk, “Sir,” only once noted his answering blush, it was safe to delve into what you really wanted to tell him. You took a deep breath, completing half a pirouette to face the mirrors on the wall and asked, “Do you ever feel like you’re just constantly pretending? Like the whole ‘fake it till you make it’ deal, except you never stop faking it?” training your gaze on the hardwood floors, you stared at the tips of your pointe shoes.

The worn-out, ragged edges caught your attention for a split second. You took a mental note to break in the brand-new pair and prepare them for tomorrow’s show. On the periphery of your vision, you could see Neil’s reflection. You could feel him staring, the intense gazing boring holes in the back of your head. But not even that could make you turn and face him.

“Pretty much every day,” Neil’s reply made you look up, meeting his eyes in the reflection. That was not an answer you had expected, “I’ve found that sometimes, if you’re lucky, all that pretending can fool the brain, too,” he signed off the addition with another reassuring smile.

Still, the scepticism reigned free as an unbidden scoff tore from your throat, forcing you to swallow down the sudden desire to retreat from the conversation. Years of practice did not seem to share Neil’s thesis. Things never got easier. You doubted they ever would.

“I’d hope so. Except that, I’m not sure I am that lucky,” that was a given, an undeniable fact of life like the laws of physics or the ignorance of the Tories. Unchangeable. The familiar wave of frustration threatened to pull you down as you allowed the insecurities to speak their part,“I may appear as a fucking cool cat, confident and all, but… I’m not,” hearing the broken note in your voice, you swallowed hard, unable to look at Neil anymore. There was only one final thing to add, “And I wish I could be,”

There. The curtain has fallen, revealing the truth underneath. Now, it was clear Neil had no illusions left about you. No reason to think of you highly. Somehow, you felt lighter. Sure, still unable to meet his gaze, even in the reflection, but it was better that way. Now, when you did disappoint him somewhere along the line, for whatever reason, it would be much less surprising.

You had no doubts whether that moment of disappointment would happen. It always did.

“You have every right to be. Because you are” when Neil spoke, at first, you did not register it. His words flew right over your head before being caught by your heart, desperate to find anything to hold on to. Only then did you hear what he said. You looked up in time to see the remains of the fading blush on his cheeks, “If that even makes sense,” he shook his head slightly as if scolding himself over the awkward reassurance and stood up. The tense shoulders betrayed the lightness he still tried to emit, “Trust me when I say I feel useless and stupid every minute of every day,” the weariness in his voice clashed with the disbelief you felt when hearing what he said.

That made no sense. The turmoil made you turn around in a half-pirouette and face Neil with wide eyes and mouth agape. Your brain was experiencing severe computing issues, the smoke almost sizzling out through your open lips.

He was none of those things. You barely resisted the urge to close the miles between you and shake him by the shoulders, all the while screaming at him to stop saying such bullshit. You did not do any of those things.

“But you’re… you,” instead, you gestured vaguely towards him, armed with words that were not enough.

No words seemed to be apt to describe him. Neil was just… impossible. Ineffable in his wonderfulness. Much better than anyone you had ever known. But that was something you could not say. Not now.

“In my books, that’s not necessarily a good thing,” Neil glanced at you with tired eyes, kicking around at nothing as he slid across the parquet in his socks.

When you entered the studio, he started unlacing his shoes before you could protest. Said something about not wanting the cleaner to have more work. The comment made you smile too brightly before you excused yourself into the changing room and hid your face in the palms of your hands. That state didn’t seem to have passed.

In an effort not to do anything stupid, you backed away till you could feel the barre against your back. Only then you met his searching gaze and made sure to show Neil the extent of earnestness on your face:

“It is. I’ve never met anyone like you, Neil,” the admission was met with a surprised double-take, so you decided to soften the tone with a stupid addition, “The hottest priest in London and whatnot,” you did mean that one, too.

Neil’s huff of laughter felt like a dodged bullet.

“Funny,” the bright sparks in his eyes confirmed the praise with doubled force, making you turn back towards the mirror to avoid being blinded by the strength of his affection. That stuff could be dangerous, “You’re the hottest ballerina in London, so we’re even,” once you registered Neil’s words, the silky tone of his voice that had not been there just a second ago, you knew that trouble was coming.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him close the gap. The warmth settled in your cheeks as you felt the comfortable heat spread around your body. That pleasant anticipation ignited in your bones with every step Neil took. Somewhere, at the edges of reason and logic, you knew you still had a choice. You knew that whatever he had envisioned in his mind, could easily be stopped with one word from your side. What was the problem?

Mainly that you didn’t want him to stop. Did not want to cut short the moment slowly blooming into something crucial. You could feel it buzz beneath your skin as Neil took the final steps towards you and leaned in. His hands came to rest upon the barre, millimetres from yours. Not quite touching but enough so you could not ignore his presence. You could feel the heat from his body as Neil pressed his chest to your back and whispered into your ear:

“A cool cat,” in normal circumstances, the call-back to your rant would have made you laugh.

But those weren’t normal circumstances. Not with Neil’s proximity, his hands slowly tracing invisible lines up your arms. You could feel his breath on the nape of your neck, creating goosebumps effortlessly. And the thing was – this wasn’t anything new. It was far from the first time someone had done this. Far from the first time you had been tempted by someone who desired you. But it was the first time they seemed to take their time for it.

Your head felt dizzy with the revelation as Neil’s fingers lightly brushed the neckline of your bodice and journeyed down. It was a first in the fact that he did not even try touching your breasts, instead respectfully settling over your ribs and tapping a vague rhythm over your heated skin. Without searching your heart, you knew that you did not mind it. Not one bit.

You covered one of his palms with yours, firmly pressing it against your waist and raised your head to seek Neil’s gaze. He was already looking back at you, the blue eyes of his eyes dark and consumed with something you wanted to call hunger. The same feeling could be easily found on your face.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” you frowned at the hoarseness of your voice and the breathless tint to the question.

For the first time, it was impossible to fake your reaction. Impossible to pretend you were not affected. Neil’s answering smile, full of confidence and mischief, made that discovery seem fine. Not troubling at all.

“Is it working?” the warmth in his eyes made you feel safe, not threatened by the potential of what could happen.

Not viable to the pains of consequences. That seemed enough.

Enough to make you gently tug at his hand, asking for the freedom of movement to turn around and face him. Only then, with Neil’s curious gaze beaming down on you like a desirable spotlight, you placed his palm back on your waist and offered an honest reply:

“I think you already know,” as proof, you picked up his other hand and guided it to press against your chest, feeling the rapid heartbeat.

The wolfish grin you received in return was worth any leftover sense of shame and embarrassment. Neil leaned in, and just as you were about to close your eyes, awaiting another life-changing kiss, he left a promising peck on the edge of your jaw. On its own accord, your hand tightened over the wooden railing as you exposed your throat for his use.

Neil wasted no time leaving a trail of kisses down the slope of your neck, only just being careful enough not to leave marks. Each kiss felt like a hot poker pressed against the tender skin of your neck, blazing hot and impossible to shake off. You closed your eyes, letting the sense take in the sensation of his tender care. Of the contrasting burn of stubble, scratching at your skin with a delicious sting.

Every kiss took time, only then to be sealed with a lick of his tongue, eliciting your quiet gasps and barely kept in groans of pleasure. The wave of insanity rose, threatening to take over your brain, save for one consistent thought. One revelation.

No one had cared this much before.

Letting go of his hand, you tangled your fingers in his golden strands, lightly tugging to gain his attention. The answering groan was sure to enter the library of sounds and images you liked to relieve in private. But before you could attempt to formulate the desire painted across your face, the door to the studio creaked, disrupting the silence.

You gasped in shock as Neil took half a step back, warily eyeing the doorway. A thousand curses lodged themselves in your throat as a silhouette of an older man, armed with a bucket and a mop, peered inside the room with a scowl. Fucking Rich, the Janitor.

The older man scanned you both from head to toe and sighed.

“It’s closing time, kids. Go home,” his gravelly voice acted like the much-needed bucket of cold water.

As he turned back towards the darkness of the corridor, you met Neil’s eyes. The depths of exasperation visible there told you this business was far from over. You certainly hoped so.

#neil tenet #tenet movie #tenet #tenet 2020 #neil tenet x reader #neil tenet fanfic #neil x reader #neil tenet imagine #tenet fanfic #robert pattinson #robert pattinson x reader #robert pattinson x you #robert pattinson x y/n #robert pattinson imagine #deadlines & commitments

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 7 months ago

Text

Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

Content warnings for this chapter: death, violence, guns, implied abuse references, trafficking references, abduction, past attempted murder, murder, addiction

AO3 link

Chapter 34 - Jesper

“Jeluna,” Inej repeated, frowning, “It doesn’t ring a bell,”

Nina was standing in front of the closed door to Inej’s room, her hair - usually always worn loose so it fell just over her shoulders - tightly plaited and her favoured outfit of dark, deep pocketed trousers and some brightly coloured jumper or other replaced by a neatly pressed, creamy white blouse and a skirt that fell past her knees over long white stockings, as well as a pair of shiny black boots instead of her beaten up brown leather ones. It was distracting Jesper - it wasn’t that it didn’t look nice, Nina seemed to have the ability to pull off just about anything she wore, but it just made her look not quite like herself. She wasn’t comfortable, he didn’t think, in the tight cuffs of the button down or the almost schoolchild-esque pleats of the skirt. She looked like one of the women in the University or Zelvar Districts, working front desks or accounts or correspondence. And when Jesper had thought that, he realised what it was that he actually thought, why he felt like something wasn’t quite right. Nina looked disturbingly Kerch.

“Does she have a stage name?” he asked, “Maybe it would be easier to hear word of her that way,”

“Not that I’ve heard of,” Nina shrugged, “But she’s not been reported missing. I’ve not heard a word about it, even at the White Rose,”

“She won’t be,” said Inej, shuffling between her pillows to readjust herself, “Not until it’s already too late,”

“Tara and Amethyst-”

“The Leopard has been the most popular attraction at the Menagerie for months,” Inej shook her head, “And Amethyst was at the Sweet Shoppe for longer than anyone. I’ve heard rumours that Rollins took a liking to her; she was absent once before, a few years back, so I heard. Popularly believed he took her out of the city,”

Jesper frowned - he could bring an image of the girl to mind himself, but the missing descriptions had described her as in her early twenties. Twenty three, Kaz had said.

“People noticed they were gone,” continued Inej, “Will anyone notice Jeluna?”

You know a girl from West Stave died in a similar pattern last month? From a smaller house, didn’t get much notice.

“How old is she?”

Nina shrugged.

“I only saw her once or twice; our age, a touch younger? Not old,”

Inej murmured something in Suli, and Jesper saw Nina glance away. He didn’t ask what she’d said. Even though it was probably just a prayer, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. A minute passed.

“One other thing,” Nina was looking at him now, not Inej, “They want me back at the Van Eck house tonight,”

Jesper felt his shoulders stiffen involuntarily. He hadn’t seen Wylan in almost two weeks, the last he’d heard of the kid being the information Roeder gave Inej and she, in turn, passed on to Jesper the other day. Wylan was at a boarding house a short way South of here, he’d got a job at a tannery in the Warehouse District, and no-one ever saw him anywhere else. Jesper drummed his fingers against his knee, finding dissatisfaction at the attempt to lay against his guns and finding the sad little pistols sitting in his belt. He didn’t want to ask Kaz for his revolvers back, but he knew he’d crack before Kaz did and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Maybe he should just stop bothering. He needed a drink.

“What does he want?”

Nina shrugged, playing with the end of one of her plaits.

“I don’t know. Are you on shift tonight?”

Nope.

“I’m at the Crow Club, but I might be able to slip out for a while - what time?”

“Ten bells. I don’t know how long it’ll be though, I could talk to Kaz…”

Jesper tightened his hand briefly in and out of a fist.

“No, it’s fine. I can go with you,”

He felt Inej’s eyes on him and rolled his shoulders, trying not to meet her gaze.

“Do you think he knows Wylan’s alive?” she asked into the growing silence.

Growing silence amongst the three of them, anyway; the rowdy shouts and cheers and arguments of the Slat were of course still leaking through the walls and floor. Jesper was pretty sure he’d just heard Pim’s voice next door, not long after Anika’s words had drifted through the air.

“He must do,” said Nina, “Or at least suspect, surely it was reported back to him that he jumped into the canal and they couldn’t find him?”

“It’s a miracle he made it back out again,” Inej shook her head, “Those waters are dangerous enough for people who can see where they’re going; I don’t think it would be unreasonable for Van Eck to assume he drowned out there,”

She had a point. Jesper still wasn’t sure how Wylan had managed it; how far he’d had to swim, how long he had been stuck out there, how he’d made his way back to dry land. He hadn’t shared the full story in the short time they had together before Jesper went and fucked everything up, but the bruises on his neck had been telling enough.

“You Tailored Wylan last time, right?”

Nina nodded.

“It’s probably just Tailoring again; new young wives don’t stay young and pretty forever,”

“She’s about twenty,” said Nina.

“So two years too old,” Inej murmured, “I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s all it is, you know. But stay wary, be sensible. You don’t know what he’s capable of,”

“I think we know exactly what he’s capable of, Inej,” Nina shook her head, “That might be half the problem,”

A moment dipped back into quiet as it rolled by, before Jesper ventured:

“Should we tell Kaz? About Jeluna?”

“I don’t know,” Nina hesitated, “Maybe. What are the chances he can do anything?”

“What are the chances he can do something but won’t bother?”

No-one answered Inej’s quiet question.

Jesper watched Nina fidget with her sleeve for a minute before anyone said anything else. She glanced at her watch.

“I’d better go,” she said, “I’m on my way to the courthouse, I just wanted to update you first - and check in on your leg, Inej,”

So that was why she was dressed like this. Jesper searched briefly through the few things he knew about Nina’s battle with the slow-but-surely-violent killer that was the Kerch legal system; he couldn’t remember her boy’s name, a Fjerdan, a year older than Nina - an ex-Drüskelle in on what she claimed were false charges. He couldn’t help but question what possible charges a Drüskelle couldn’t be considered guilty for, but he bit his tongue. For the sake of avoiding a pointless argument, for the sake of letting Nina just live her life, and for the sake of not being an idiot who gave himself away.

“Good luck,” Inej smiled softly.

“I’ll need it,” Nina half laughed, “If it’s the same judge I met last time you’d best pray for my restraint not to burst his heart in two,”

“Nina,”

“I’m joking,” she promised her, then with a wink at Jesper: “Violence only if absolutely necessary,”

It was definitely a strange feeling, loitering around the Geldstraat late at night, waiting for Nina to re-emerge. Jesper kept himself in the shadows near a side street, hoping it was late enough and he was out of view enough that none of the fine citizens of the area would pick up on his very clearly out of place appearance. Nina was actually quite a lot quicker than he’d expected her to be, but it still felt like a long time standing around; alone, somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be, with nothing to do. He fidgeted with his sad little pistols. He was itching for a hand of cards. He checked his watch. Nina had been gone for about twenty minutes. Jesper needed to pull himself together.

He studied the front of the Van Eck mansion opposite him in the dark. Flowers grew up the trellises either side of the front door, but the night was too thick to be able to make out what type of plant they were from this distance, and two potted trees stood sentinel, guarding either side of the gate. There were no candles burning in any of the front windows except the one farthest to the right - surely not the master bedroom from this position, Jesper expected that would look over the gardens, but perhaps someone’s guest room? Wylan had no siblings - yet - so other than a guest Jesper wasn’t sure who could be in there at this hour, not unless the servants’ cleaning rotas went on well into the night. Maybe they did.

He wondered which window was supposed to be Wylan’s - or if that would be round the side or back of the house. That might make more sense, to have a nicer view of the fancy gardens, the private dock, the picturesque canal. It was just about the only canal in the city you could describe as picturesque, but once you were here looking at it that didn’t seem to bother you anymore. Even if you knew what the rest of the city looked like, even if you’d spent your time here wading through its slums, you could stand here and look at the canal, and you could think that it was pretty. It was pretty enough that, even for a very brief moment, you didn’t care about the rest of it anymore. That was how it got you.

Yes, he thought, Wylan’s window was probably round the side of the house. Then: Why the fuck do you care?

Too many answers came unbidden, and Jesper tried to stamp them out. He checked his watch again. Not even five more minutes had passed.

When Nina did return, only about ten minutes after that, it was with a furious march in her step and fire burning in her cheeks. Her hair was still in its tight plaits, though a few strands had come loose, and the sour mood she’d been in after the courthouse had clearly only worsened. She yanked off her fake kefta as soon as she reached Jesper, shoving it over her arm to carry and shaking out the neckline of the blouse she was wearing beneath as though she’d overheated. He opened his mouth but she barely seemed to notice she was there, and kept walking without a word so he was forced to hurry after her.

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” she snapped, and just kept striding on.

Jesper followed. The Geldstraat shrank behind him, continuing to shimmer in the distance, and as they made their way back to the Barrel and parted ways to West and East Stave, Jesper felt strangely discomforted by the knowledge that it was still behind them, shimmering prettily on in the dark. Picturesque.

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bratshaws · 2 years ago

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through the hourglass 66. brb x oc

a/n: god im so single

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff JESUS CHRIST

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/

25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

/65

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23

“Nicole.” She calls sweetly, heart hurting when she sees her daughter reaching for the now dark monitor, tapping it with her small fingers in hopes it’d bring her father back, “Daddy is working now, he can’t show up.”

Nicole just taps the screen harder, letting out an annoyed cry because where was her father? He was there seconds ago! “Honey,” Beatrice grabs Nicole’s hands, her little face going red with tears bubbling in her eyes, “Oh sweetie,I know,I know.” She kisses her daughter’s cheeks, her own eyes stinging because of the gift Rooster sent her and Nicole’s reaction, “I know you miss him, I miss him too..but just a few more days,okay?”

Nicole whimpers, her mouth opening in a gentle cry that only hurts Beatrice even more, standing up from the chair to bounce her daughter around a bit in hopes she’d calm down. Beatrice sighs against her daughter’s hair, her gentle hiccuping slowing down until there was just a quiet whimper coming out of her, “I know,honey.” Bea says, “I know.”

It broke her heart and she was so happy that Rooster hadn’t seen her reaction, she knew if he did he’d just blame himself. And as long as she calmed Nicole down, everything would be fine. The dogs surrounded her when they heard Nicole’s cries, huffing and barking quietly in hopes to calm the little girl just like her mother was doing, Jolene even stood on her hind legs to check on the baby by sniffing her hair and the ticklish sensation made Nicole laugh.

“Oh, thank God.” Beatrice whispers, kissing her daughter’s head when she got into a giggling fit, “You are going to be okay, honey, daddy will be back soon.”

Beatrice rocked the three months old back and forth until she saw Nicole’s bright green eyes disappear behind her eyelids as she fell asleep in her arms. Her soft cheek pressed against her mother’s bicep, little chest rising and falling as the exhaustion from crying and laughing finally took over.

Beatrice leans down to kiss her head again, slowly walking away from the kitchen - to not wake her up - humming a lullaby to keep Nicole’s eyes closed as she took her to the nursery, checking every now and again to see if she was okay and still in a deep slumber. And she was.

As she places Nikki in her crib,Beatrice just folds her arms on the top rail and places her chin on top, “I miss him too,Birdie.” she whispers, seeing Nicole is just peacefully asleep now, “I miss him…terribly and I know he misses us too.” she didn’t want to keep thinking about it, so she pushed herself away from the crib, turning around to face Eleanor and Jack, “You two, keep an eye on Nikki, okay?”

The twins just trotted inside like they always did, lying in front of her crib as Beatrice walked out, “Jojo, you come with me.” she says, petting the pittie between the ears. Jolene followed Beatrice back downstairs, where the flowers and the gifts were waiting for her in the kitchen.

Beatrice huffs out a sigh, propping her hands on her hips as she smiles, “...he’s unbelievable.” she says, grabbing the envelope she kept it aside for later, “And unreal…and amazing…and just so funny and sweet…ugh,I miss him so much Jojo.”

Jolene just pressed her huge head on the outer side of Bea’s thigh comfortingly, making the brunette smile down at her “I’m okay,Jojo…just…in love I guess…hah,anyway, let me clean this up.” she says, picking the huge bouquet of red roses “I need to find something big enough for this, I don’t even know if I have it.”

Jolene follows Beatrice as she walks around the kitchen, placing the roses inside a vase, the chocolates in the fridge and the brand new mugs - the ones with Chihiro and Haku printed on it and she almost cried - inside the upper cabinets. As she was done with it, she returned to the card that she told him she’d read once alone, grabbing the envelope with a little smile, “Ah,Roos…” she broke the wax seal with her nail, carefully pulling out the contents.

She laughed softly when she saw it was the illustration of a rooster and a hen, huddled together in their coop with the moonlight casting a heart shaped reflection on their feathers, “Oh my God.” she giggles, “He’s so silly,I love him.”

She leans her lower back against the counter, flipping the card open to read the inside.

‘Beatrice,

Hi gorgeous,I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for our anniversary and I hope these gifts cover up the space just so until I come back. I wanted to be there with you badly and while I know you’d never get mad or upset, I just wanted to do this for you.

Anyway, happy anniversary,baby. Hard to believe three years passed since we first met and one year since we got married. Didn’t seem like that, especially because, well, you have this gift of making me love every second we spend together, so much I don’t see the time pass. When I first laid eyes on you I knew I was going to marry you,you know? I didn’t want to admit it, I thought it was crazy, but I kept thinking about it.

I was like, ‘yeah this is the woman I’m going to marry’ during our first months together!

I know you wouldn’t think it’s crazy…because well, it’s you. You have no idea, albeit I tell you…often,how much you mean to me. Bea, you are just the best thing that ever happened in my life.

You are sweet,you are kind, you are beautiful, you are so incredibly talented. I never tire of telling you those things because I love how you get when you hear them. You get bashful and you blush and you give me that cute smile that makes my knees weak.

But more than that, if it wasn’t for you we wouldn’t have Nikki. I just want you to know I appreciate and I love you so much, gorgeous.

You are my best friend and my girl and I wouldn’t have any other way.

Just until we see each other again.

<3,

Rooster’

What she cried before couldn’t be compared to what she was crying right now. She was sobbing, knees weak as she crouched down to the floor holding the card in one hand and covering her mouth with the other, hiccuping against her palm and just trying her best to keep her voice low.

Jolene hurries around her,licking her face,whining, fearing her owner was having an anxiety attack and couldn’t control herself. Beatrice laughs while crying, gently pushing Jolene’s face away as she sniffled, “I’m okay Jojo.” she says, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand “I swear I’m okay…I…wow I…he’s so sweet. He’s so,so sweet.”

Her eyes turned to the card again, so heartfelt and so Rooster,sliding her legs away from her so she could sit down on the floor, smiling down at it. She didn’t know how, but that was his writing, somehow he managed to write the card himself while he was away “Oh,Roos.” she whispers, bringing the closed card to her lips to kiss her cover, a few more tears rolling down her cheeks and under her jawline only to land on the collar of her shirt.

Beatrice wasn’t overwhelmed by work and by Marcus’ proposal, but she was glad to have this mental break for a bit. These past months have been a bit hard ever since her talk with Hannah, ever since she found out that Eric was still asking around for her and she couldn’t help but hate how he never took what she said seriously.

And reading Rooster’s writing - a bit hurried and leaning to the right, with harder lines on the T’s - made her forget everything. She didn’t want to think about Eric, she had Rooster. She had her husband, who loved and cherished her and their daughter, what else would she ask for?

She just genuinely hoped that Eric…stopped. She didn’t want to hear from him anymore, she didn’t want to know about him anymore, she didn’t want to find out he reached some of her family members– she pauses, “...he’d be pretty dumb considering that they all said if he tried anything they’d just beat the shit out of him,” she hums, “And they don’t know I punched his nose…yeah he’d never message them.”

He’s pecking at the corners until he reaches her, which he won’t, he already risked a lot messaging Shells whom he called ‘crazy as fuck’ the first time they met.

“As long as he stops it’s going to be fine.” Beatrice mutters, wiping her eyes one more time, watching Jolene lie down next to her to settle her huge head on top of her thigh, keeping those light brown eyes on her, “...we are going to be fine,right Jojo?” she ‘boofed’ out in response “Yeah,I think so too.”

She looks down at the card, then out of habit turns it around and frowns, “P.S. Check the blue box? Blue box?” she looks back to where his gift was on the counter, seeing a small cerulean object partially hidden from behind a paper towel rack, “Oh, well… I need to-” Jolene stands up when she moves, looking back to where the box was then meeting gazes with Beatrice, “Oh…you want to grab it? Okay Jojo.”

The pittie’s long tail wags happily as she trots closer to the counter, holding herself up by her front legs and snapping her jaw with her head leaning forward until she latched onto the box and brought it over.

“Thank you,Jojo.” she says, wiping some of the slobber clinging on the blue paper, “I didn’t even see this…well, maybe that’s why he wrote in the first place.” she comments with a soft chuckle, holding the box with both hands, checking it’s weight and furrowing her brows, “What did he get me? I thought the mugs were the treats.”

Jolene lied down next to Beatrice, her head on top of her front paws as her owner carefully unwrapped the box until she could see what was inside. It was a flat light gray velvet box, with a horizontal ‘8’ on the latch. Beatrice hums, pulling under the latch until it clicked open and revealed what was inside.

One thing Rooster knew about Beatrice was that she didn’t like things that snagged on fabrics, like elaborate rings and that bracelets made her feel trapped. He also knew, after some research, that Beatrice’s birthstone wasn’t an onyx like she thought but an Amethyst. Beatrice blinked when the purple gem came into view, her lips parting with surprise, “No��he didn’t…” he also knew that she was fond of small earrings, something that wouldn’t get stuck on her hair when she pulled it up, “He didn’t do this.”

Inside the box was a necklace, a thin gold band necklace with the small amethyst pendant lying on top of the velvet inside. Beatrice notices the small earrings on each side, with the same crystal, round and perfect for her, “Oh…Rooster.” there was another card inside, one that she had to flip to check what was said.

“I thought you’d like it,” she reads the words out loud, “Purple is a beautiful color on you.” she bites her lower lip with a smile, leaning her body against the cabinets as she looks at the gold and purple jewelry with her eyes soft and heart aflutter.

He didn’t have to do this, but he did.

And she knew if she told him so he’d just tell her there was no need to worry, that there was nothing wrong in pampering her like he wanted to. Beatrice just laughs breathlessly, gently lifting the delicate necklace up to her line of sight, seeing the light from the window pass through the purple crystal and create a white outline that made it seem ethereal.

“This is so beautiful.” she whispered, rubbing her thumb on the cut stone, “How did he even pull this off?” the question is directed to Jolene, who just tilted her head with confusion,”I know Jojo,I don’t get it either…I think he has some sort of super power.”

Or, and that could be the main option, he talked to one of her siblings.

“...that works too.” she laughs, still holding the necklace up,wrapping the thin golden strap around her finger so the pendant stayed in the middle of her palm, “...it’s gorgeous. I really- wow…I have no words…why is he so? How is he so?? Ugh! God…I need to give something back to him. I’ve been so busy that I–” she pauses, cheeks warming up “...I…I haven’t sent him the video…would that even work? I mean…I sent him pictures before, but a video is something else entirely.”

And she wanted to give him something…nice. Something he wouldn’t forget so soon. “And something he can enjoy while he’s away.” she mutters, sighing after placing the necklace back inside the box, closing it with a smile, “...he’s so sweet. God.”

Her stomach still had butterflies inside, swirling and twirling and flying like crazy, it was wild how it still happened. She wondered if it was just because she was a very romantic person and she had Rooster in her heart for a long time…or it was just because he was that magical to her.

As she sat there,enjoying the silence while petting Jolene, she felt her phone buzzing. She frowned, clenching her eyes and refusing to acknowledge the constant vibration in her pocket, until she figured out it was better to do it or else whoever it was wouldn’t stop. She lifted her butt from the ground a bit to grab the phone, unlocking it to check who it was.

Shells (11:30)

Hey, you busy?

Shells (11:31)

Hey.HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY

Shells (11:32)

Beatrice,pick up the phone. PICK IT UP

Shells (11:33)

HELLOOOOOOOOO???

Bea (11:34)

I’m here,Shells, what’s up?

Shells (11:34)

Finally. Well, again, are you busy?

Bea (11:34)

Well, sort of. Why?

Shells (11:35)

I’m kinda bored, I think it’s better to talk to my bestie than to stare at the wall since my sugarplum isn’t here :(

Bea (11:35)

Ah,well

Shells (11:35)

I can bring lunch. From the Indian place you like, the one who gives you extra naan because they are that nice.

Bea (11:36)

…you drive a hard bargain, fine. Come on over. But please keep your voice down.

Shells (11:36)

What are you talking about? My voice is like a hummingbird.

Bea (11:37)

Shells.

Shells (11:37)

Oh fine,I will, promise. Scout’s honor or whatever.

“How have you been?”

Bea looks up from her plate to face Shells,who was licking her fingers clean while arching her brows, “What?”

“How have you been? Since you got Marcus’ job and such.”

“It’s not a job.” Shells arches her brows higher, “Well…maybe it is but, it’s not bad…I’m not so tired.”

Shells nods, wiping her hands after her fingers are clean of any sauce, “I mean sure but I also mean about Rooster,when is he coming back?”

The mention of her husband makes Beatrice light up like a Christmas tree and she smiles, “He’s coming back in the second week of October.” she says, “And I am already finding some costumes for Nikki and oh! I think we’ll be able to decorate the house! And we can go to the bar’s Halloween Party too!” and she rambled on, Shells just sipped her soda letting her friend speak her heart’s content because she was worried about Bea.

Ever since she heard that Eric has been asking around about Bea,Shells has been acting like the Malinois everyone joked she was. She was a lot more alert at the bar, she didn’t tell Penny because she knew how her aunt would react if she did know, and she was talking to Evelyn and the others about it.

Eric’s accident on Bea’s birthday wasn’t enough to make him back off, so whatever he was planning got Shells’ attention. Her friend had other things to worry about - like her child?? who was babbling happily while holding a rubber chicken that made noises in the corner? - and the last thing she needed was Beatrice worrying about Eric.

So Shells was on guard most of the time, eyes alert and narrowing at any big headed blonde assholes with no lips who liked to wear baby blue shirts unbuttoned to show the three chest hairs he had.

“Shells?”

Oh. Right.

Shells slowly looks up from her spoon, the one she’s been shoveling food inside her mouth, holding it a few centimeters away from her lips, “I’m all good, just enjoying our lunch.”

“...right.” Beatrice narrows her eyes, “I’ll believe that…anyway, is there any reason you wanted us to have lunch together?”

“Nah, just thought about showing up.” Beatrice hums, nodding slowly as she looks down at her food, “It’s true.”

“I know it is,I’m not saying it isn’t.” she laughs, waving her hand towards the blonde, “Anyway, yeah I’m excited to have him back home…I know he’s been really tired lately and…yeah, I just want him back.”

“I know Bea.” her friend says, “It’s obvious. Maybe you should dress Nikki up when you go see him.”

“...that’s not a bad idea.”

“When do I have bad ideas?”

Beatrice chose to not answer that, chewing her lower lip as she thought about it. As she looked over to Nicole, who was currently petting Jack’s nose with a cute giggle bubbling out of her, she wondered how she could do that.

There were some things she could do…when he returned, but dressing Nicole up was a great idea. Plus, she knew he’d appreciate it a lot. And she had an idea “What do you think about going out shopping with me?” Shells looks up with her cheek stuffed, “For Nikki?”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader

80 notes · View notes

renee-writer · 1 year ago

Text

The Heart Don't Lie Chapter 34

AO3

“It is simple. As there is no children and as Mr. Randall isn’t contesting the divorce, you will be legally freed of him within two months time.” Her barrister, Geillis Duncan, tells her.

“Thank you. That is wonderful news.” Even though, via the theory of the goose and the gander, she shouldn’t be feeling guilty, she is. It is making her stomach roll. To be free of him and Jamie to be free of Anna, that is the best possible news.

“Aye, with a philander like your ex, freedom is always the goal.”

Was it guilt that made her feel suddenly lightheaded? She grabs on to the front of the desk. Miss Duncan frowns and comes around to her.

“I’m okay just a bit dizzy.”

“The relief can cause strong reactions.” She looks down on her with a frown.

“True. Have you ever had a client pass out?” At this, she kneels down.

“You are a doctor, eh? Should I call someone?”

Not just guilt, Claire thinks, something physical is causing this. Blood sugar? No, she ate a hearty breakfast this morning. Inner ear infection? No, no pain or ringing. Some sort of virus? Maybe but no fever, no other symptoms but a rolling stomach.

It hits her like a flash of lighting. She raises her head so fast she almost knocks into Miss Duncan.

“Oh God! I think I am pregnant!”

“I thought you and Mr. Randall weren’t sleeping together? A coming child would complicate things.”

“Not Frank. He wouldn’t be the father,” she bites her lip as she prepares to confess, “I recently renewed relations with my university lover. Frank is sterile. Medically documented. In case he would try something.”

Geillis stands and walks back behind her desk. With a brisk nod, she makes a note. “Alright, no worries. You won’t be showing until the divorce is final. I can get his medical records if he decides to contest the paternity of the child.”

“Your not judging me for having an affair?”

She shakes her head with a smile. “No, for you aren’t. You are legally separated. Now he, shagging uni students, he is guilty of adultery. You are only guilty of living the life he denied you.”

She smiles, nods, and releases her breath. To have her approval without condemnation, is brilliant. A baby something she has longed for, for twenty years, is even more so.

“Let me know when you find out for certain. I will move to expedite this divorce.”

“Thank you Miss Duncan.”

“You can call me Geillis.” She shakes her hand and leaves. The drug store will be her next stop, for a pregnancy test.

“Follow me,” she takes his hand, leading him to the loo, “just a bit farther.”

“Why are we heading to the loo? You wish the shower together,” his voice turns husky, “I can get your back and front.”

“Later. I have something to show you,” she leads him in, shuts the door, before picking up the stick, “Here.”

He takes it, looks down, and then up at her, his mouth opening and closing, without words.

“Yes. That was my reaction. My barrister, Geillis Duncan, says my divorce will be finalized in two months. That will be before I start showing. Hopefully yours can be done as soon as possible too. We can only hide it so long before…”

“Hush,” he places his hand over her mouth, “We are going to be parents! All the rest will matter later. Please, tell me how you feel about it.”

She smiles under his hand. He moves it. “Shocked, at first. Followed by joy, then fear due to the circumstances, then relief. I have wanted a child for so long, to be having one with you, it is brilliant!”

“Aye, it is!” He showers joyful kisses across her face before taking her lips. They kiss, her pressed against the sink. He places the positive test on it before undoing her shirt. She is working on his pants. She wears a skirt that he moves up to her upper thighs. He grows in her hand after she frees him from his jeans and underwear. He lowers the cups of her bra, fingers work her nipples. His other hand jerks her panties to the side.

She moves him into place and her enters her with a quick jerk. They come together fast and hard. She finds her pleasure within minutes. He isn’t far behind.

He rests his sweaty head against hers as the fight to catch their breaths.

#my writing #outlander fanfic #the heart don't lie #chapter 34 #jamie and claire #outlander fandom #cannon divergence #modern au

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grymmnox · 2 years ago

Text

weekly fic recs #16

its 4am and im posting this now because otherwise im going to forget

fandom(s): bungo stray dogs

ship(s): soukoku, kunikizai, lucy/atsushi (i do not know their ship name), and ofc some gen fics

Oneshots

Thank God That Walls Can't Talk; Scorpiusdare - bungo stray dogs

mature | 2.2k words | chuuya/dazai, chuuya & dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

Chuuya could still feel the way Osamu’s ribs rattled and heaved against him, like the air inside was trying to stab its way out.

When the Sun Goes Black; Mxxnlit - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 9.6k words | chuuya & dazai or chuuya/dazai

summary:

“Lie down, Dazai” comes Chuuya’s voice out of the darkness, rough in its softness, “’M not going to hit you.” Dazai leans in, a whisper of his own, “I know you won’t, not tonight.” He makes no move other than to adjust his grip, to feel the electric heartbeat beneath his fingers pulsing out a mantra of alive alive alive.

the bones are melting (the skeleton is ash); Some_Dead_Guy - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 2.8k | dazai & fukuzawa | READ TAGS

summary:

When Dazai first joins the Agency, there is something inside of him that is waiting to mess up. Something inside of him that is almost craving it, if only to get it over with.

He gets his wish after only three months of working with the Agency.

Or, Fukuzawa Yukichi is not Mori Ougai.

Kindness (and Other Fatal Wounds); full_moon_pills - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 2.7k words | dazai & fukuzawa, dazai & yosano | READ TAGS

summary:

The first time Dazai fails on an agency mission, he expects his new boss to punish him accordingly.

my wet heart catches on every thorn; Some_Dead_Guy - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 3.4k words | dazai & kunikida or dazai/kunikida | READ TAGS

summary:

As soon as Dazai wakes up, he knows it’s a bad day.

(Or, Kunikida realizes that his new partner is not joking when he says he wants to die.)

the threat of a bonding moment; necklace - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 1.9k words | dazai & kyouka | READ TAGS

summary:

"His ongoing train of thought ends when Kyouka stands in front of his desk, still as stone, staring down at him with big eyes and open curiosity and far too much innocence on her face than usual.

Naturally, it makes him suspicious."

Without Words; StarshipDancer - bungo stray dogs

mature | 11.5k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

Something soft smacked Dazai in the face. He caught the offending object on instinct, frowning down at what he realized were a pair of pajama pants. Fleece, just like Chuuya’s sheep-patterned pair, but these were much a much uglier shade of blue and covered in an endless array of fish.

Dazai made a face. He just wasn’t sure what kind of face it was. He hoped it was one of disgust, but he had an awful suspicion that it wasn’t.

Or, 5 Times Chuuya tried to move Dazai into his apartment and the 1 time Dazai finally noticed

Long Days and Laundry; full_moon_pills - bungo stray dogs

not rated | 3.9k words | ADA & dazai | READ TAGS

summary:

After a tough case the agency is given a day to rest and relax. Dazai can't turn his brain off, and does laundry instead.

Completed

A peer behind the mask; karmicMayhem - bungo stray dogs

general audiences | 34 chapters | 74.9k words | chuuya/dazai

summary:

In an attempt to get the Book, Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi are transported into the Book to watch Dazai's life. How will they handle what they see? And what new things will be discovered?

grim's notes: general warnings n such for violence, child abuse/neglect, and dazai-typical..everything.

The Most Complex Organ is the Heart; collofo - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 18 chapters | 112.2k words | dazai/kunikida, atsushi/lucy | READ TAGS

summary:

Kunikida and Dazai are two partners in a highschool biology project with their own personal problems, which they work through together during their progressing friendship and relationship. Nothing comes easy for the two, and will have made things more complicated and harder to understand.

Kunikida doesn’t exactly like Dazai now. Jokes with Yosano still get under his skin, but they’re not taken personally to the same degree as if it were instead a stranger insulting him. Kunikida had just met Yosano’s friend, and already he hasn’t gotten a good impression from him. It’s not like my first impression was any better, he thinks.

“...”

“Are you not going to greet me?” Dazai asks lightheartedly, though the question sounds spoiled to Kunikida.

“Hello, Dazai.” He speaks with no respect in his tone.

Yosano cringes while watching her two friends interact.

Incomplete

Father Figures; endlessiterationsofthesamefoolishness - bungo stray dogs

teen and up | 12 works | 52.3k words | primarily fukuzawa & kunikida, but also includes fukuzawa & yosano, fukuzawa & ranpo, atsushi & kunikida, atsushi & dazai

series summary:

Stories set in a universe where Fukzuawa is Kunikida's biological father and all the family dynamics that come with that fact.

first work summary:

People say Kunikida is like Fukuzawa's son.

This is true.

as per usual, if any links are broken/incorrect, or if i got any authors mixed up, please tell me and i will fix it :)

#[.grims weekly recs]#[.grims recs]#fic recs #reclist #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fic recs #bungo stray dogs fic recs #bungou stray dogs fic recs

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zipzin · 2 years ago

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Boomerang | Chapter 34 - Act Two: Summer 2017, Part II

Here's the next chapter of my Childhood friends Avalance AU, you can also read on Ao3

“That’s pretty much it,” Oliver shrugged from his seat next to one of his collections of arrows.

“Ollie, you’ve had a kid for what, eleven years and never knew?” She chuckled. “I’m not sure you can just say, that’s pretty much it. Who’s the mom?”

All three of their eyes looked down, “She passed, on Lian Yu a month ago.” Sara had to hold in a sigh. Why was everyone in Oliver’s life obsessed with that godforsaken island. The only reason she’d go back was if she was forced at gunpoint. “Her name was Samantha Clayton.”

Sara paused as she thought back to the rough time period it would have happened, “Wait, I think I remember her? Stick straight brunette? Pretty tall?”

“Yeah,” He answered.

Sara couldn’t help but roar with laughter, “I can’t believe you hooked up with her and got her pregnant! She seemed so,” Boring? Basic? God, Sara just remembered being completely unimpressed with her. The three stared at her in shock as she kept laughing.

“How are you laughing about this?” Felicity said shortly.

The smile dropped from Sara’s face, “Ollie having a kid he didn’t know about is the least surprising thing about his life.” She gestured around at the whole Arrow cave. “Obviously, her dying and keeping it a secret sucks,” Sara said, “But pregnancy was one of the things I made sure didn’t happen when I was self-destructing.” She shivered. And when birth control hadn’t been available she’d just prayed.

“I wasn’t self-destructing,” Oliver shot back.

“No, you were just a dick with a trust fund.” Sara said.

He rolled his eyes, “I wasn’t a dick.”

Sara shrugged, “You cheated on your girlfriend more times than I have fingers. Including with her own sister.”

“That was you!”

She shrugged, “Well I was self-destructing.”

Dig laughed, “You’re still a dick.”

Oliver opened his mouth and closed it in betrayal, shooting a desperate glance at Felicity who refused to do anything but roll her eyes.

“Remember when you just made me your executive assistant without telling me and had me run the entire company?” Felicity asked.

“Hey!”

Dig chuckled, “Meanwhile, like a normal person I waited three years to date my brother’s ex.”

“Okay,” Sara said, turning to him, “That doesn’t seem normal.”

“Not all of us can flit from person to person,” Felicity said.

Oliver let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like Ray and Barry. Sara chuckled as Felicity swatted his arm.

“I don’t flit from person to person,” Sara defended, “I open their eyes and we both have a good time with no strings attached.” She wasn’t even sure she could make an actual relationship work, not even including the complications of time travel. She’d had two relationships that had lasted longer than a couple weeks and both endings had almost killed her.

“How?” Oliver said, “Aren’t you in a bunch of different time periods? I thought you can’t interact with the past?”

“The Legends aren’t sticklers for the rules, and we have to do recon, that leads to meeting people,” Sara said, “But let’s see, there was Lindsay from 1958. And Chastity, a wonderful girl stuck with the Puritans, hope she’s doing alright. Almost got me hanged but it was worth it. Oh and Queen Guinevere and the Queen of France.”

“Guinevere?”

“The Queen of France?”

“Okay,” Felicity said, “First off, Guinevere isn’t real.

“You could say she’s a legend,” Sara smirked as the rest groaned.

“Which Queen?” Felicity ignored her.

“Anne,” Sara smirked. “I got her all prepared for conceiving the Sun King.”

Dig rubbed his temples, “You’re life is weird. I don’t know which is worse, you or Barry.”

“Come on Dig!”

“Obviously, I like you better,” Dig rolled his eyes.

“Excuse me, I’m still stuck on Queen Guinevere.” Felicity said.

Sara shrugged, “Short version is that Stargirl from the JSA used a fragment of the Spear of Destiny to create Camelot as a way of hiding it from,” She sighed, “The Legion of Doom.”

“Stargirl?”

“JSA? Legion of Doom?”

“Spear of Destiny?”

Sara grinned at them, “Vigilantes have been around forever and, well Jesus’s blood has magical powers. But there’s no need to get into that,” She looked around, “I know you’ve expanded your operation here,” Her eyes flitted to the newer mannequins, “But since I’m stuck in 2017, I was wondering if I could help out. Part time.”

“Part time?” Oliver frowned.

“You’re going to have to explain the Jesus blood thing to me.” Dig said as everyone ignored him.

“That’d be great!” Felicity said and elbowed Oliver in the side.

Sara chuckled, “I still need to find an actual job, and no I’m not working in your office.” She pointed at Oliver threateningly. It was bad enough to bum off her dad, she didn’t need to work under him in a position she was vastly underqualified for. “But my skills are much more suited for this.”

“Sure,” Oliver said, “Just let us know when you can start.”

“How about tonight?”

Her face felt plastic as she exited Sink, Shower, and Stuff, but she couldn’t help but feel the flush of relief at having a real, paying job. The manager was a dick, she already knew that she’d spend too long daydreaming snapping his neck, but she would be earning money again. Minimum wage felt like a victory.

At least she could stop bumming off her parents.

Mostly.

Her dad had insisted that she could stay with him as long as she wanted, and Sara had accepted knowing that she wouldn’t qualify for an apartment, let alone have the money for probably a year. If not longer.

Living with him wasn’t bad, half the time he cooked dinner, he left her the crosswords on the paper newspaper he still got, and she had her own bedroom and bathroom. His hours were mostly regular, and he didn’t bat an eye at her going off at odd times. He’d even put together an extensive medical kit in her bathroom, which so far, Sara had only had to use once.

But, she was almost thirty and living with her dad. With, as that one movie Laurel used to love, no prospects. Or one prospect, she supposed. Now she got to stock shelves and fold towels.

Nate had spread her number to the other Legends, and a petty part of her was happy that Ray hadn’t had much success in getting funding for his miniaturization tech. He’d been in Silicon Valley doing who the fuck knows, and Sara was disappointed that he hadn’t stuck around Star City. But besides him, the Legends were settling into “civilian” life without problem. Stein seemed happier than he’d ever been with his family, Jax was going back to school, Nate and Amaya were almost gross with their relationship, and Mick was finally making his way to Aruba.

It seemed like she was the only one that couldn’t figure it out.

Hopefully, Sara thought, after her first paycheck, she could take her dad to dinner. Okay, maybe after her second paycheck. She still needed to pay him back for the phone, the train ticket, something for all the food and utilities she’d used, probably some rent. So, it might have to wait until the third paycheck.

“You didn’t have to come,” Sara said to a dubious Felicity.

“Yeah, like I was going to let you stalk a top secret government agency alone.” Felicity scoffed.

“It’s run by Rip,” The name tasted sour in Sara’s mouth, “It’s not like they’d ship me off to prison.”

“You don’t know that.” Felicity said quickly, her eyes flitting from Sara to the nondescript building they were parked across the street from. Sara wasn’t positive, but she had a feeling Felicity was regretting agreeing to find a secret government agency.

She watched the building carefully. It looked like any other office building in Star City, but she trusted Felicity, and Felicity’s skills to uncover things that people didn’t want found.

This was the office of Rip’s Time Bureau.

Or one of them anyway.

“So what’s your plan here?” Felicity finally asked. “I can call Oliver-”

“No, I’m not leading a heist.” She didn’t even know if the Waverider was here, but even if it was, what would she do, run away by herself trying to figure out how to find and solve anachronisms? “I’m just trying to get some information.”

“Why?”

Sara didn’t have an answer. She wasn’t sure that she could explain it to herself.

“It would be stupid to break in.” Sara said, “I’m just casing it, you know, if I ever do have to break in.”

“Are you sure this Rip guy wouldn’t just let you in? Aren’t you friends?”

Sara considered it for a moment. “He’d be too suspicious.”

Felicity sighed beside her, “What’s the plan?”

Sara smirked at her, “We are here around five.”

“So?”

“Felicity,” Sara grinned and waggled her eyebrows, “It’s a Friday.”

Felicity stared at her, “No.”

Sara shrugged, “I’ve slept with people on more dubious terms.”

“Ick,” Felicity said.

Sara rolled her eyes, “It’s not like they’re gonna think I want to marry them. We’ll have a nice time and I’ll get some information that they,” She shrugged, “Might not realize they’re giving me. There’s a bar two blocks from here. We’re just going to confirm that some of the people go there,” Sara said, “And I’ll take care of the rest.”

“I feel like I should stop you.”

Sara stared at her.

“I’m not, this just feels, I don’t know, gross? Wrong? Questionable, but then I guess you were an assassin, and,” Felicity took a breath, “There’s a group leaving now.”

They were all wearing the same ugly navy suit and Sara watched as they headed towards the bar she’d staked out earlier. “Do they have a uniform?” Sara muttered, and had Felicity start the car once they’d crossed the street.

Sure enough, they were heading towards the bar. It was trendy, with those stupid light bulbs and stainless steel metal tables and chairs that were extremely uncomfortable. Sara wished it could have been a little more divey, but if this was where the Time Bureau men preferred, well, she didn’t have a choice.

“Alright, you coming?” Sara asked once Felicity had swung into a parking spot.

“Only for a little bit.” Felicity muttered.

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

The bar was slowly filling up when they entered, mostly with people getting a drink after work as a way to welcome the weekend. The Time Bureau lackeys were a bit harder to spot, their navy suits blending in with some of the others, but Sara saw that a group of five were gathered in one of the corners, identical pins with an hourglass on their lapels.

Felicity started to walk towards them and Sara grabbed her arm, “Not yet.” She muttered.

“I just want to get this over with.” Felicity mumbled.

“You can leave at any time,” Sara said as she guided them towards the bar.

“What if they’re ax murderers?”

“We’re literally vigilantes.” Sara rolled her eyes as she ordered a whiskey for herself while Felicity got a vodka martini.

“What?” Felicity asked.

“When did you become a vodka martini person?” Sara asked once the drinks were placed in front of them.

“I need something in my hands,” Felicity said, “And occupying my mouth.”

Sara snorted as she took a sip of her own drink.

“Not like that,” Felicity grumbled.

Sara turned around and surveyed the bar, eyes lingering on some of the other groups before she made eye contact with one of the Time Bureau men. He was decently handsome, with short brown hair and a smile out of a Sears catalog. Boring and safe, which would be perfect.

She raised an eyebrow at him and took another sip from her drink before she turned back to Felicity.

“How do you do that?” Felicity asked.

“What?”

“Just be so smooth like that. You just look around and have half the bar dying to talk to you. And you didn’t even do anything!”

“Well, I do have extensive training on how to get a target’s attention. Especially to get them alone.” Sara said, “I also know I’m hot.”

“See, I’m not-”

Sara put her finger to Felicity’s lips, “Don’t finish that sentence Felicity. You’re very hot.” She grinned as Felicity’s cheeks flushed red.

“You had some really, really, good training, like scarily good, like I might,” Felicity shook her head. “I’m in a relationship.” Felicity finished.

Sara laughed, “How are you and Ollie?”

“It’s weird,” Felicity sighed, “He wants to be a good father for William, but William is admittedly pissed off about the whole situation. Which he has a right to be, but he’s eleven.” Felicity sighed, “And I can’t figure out if Oliver really wants me to get to know him?” Felicity shrugged, “Maybe? He wants to ease William into everything, but it's just so confusing of where my boundaries are supposed to be. Because Oliver doesn’t seem to know and William, is well,” She sighed.

“Yeah,” Sara said. “Wish Tommy was around.”

“Tommy?”

“You know, since his mom died when he was a kid too. He was younger though.” Sara hadn’t known him yet, had just met Tommy when he was all grins and the occasional flash of anger when his dad was mentioned. Laurel had warned her to not say anything about his mom and threatened to tell their parents about where the old crystal bowl actually went if she did.

“Right,” Felicity said.

“And the new team?”

“They’re hardly new,” Felicity scoffed. “You’re just not around enough.” She bumped their shoulders together.

“Well, I’ll be around a lot more now.” Sara sighed, “So I’ll actually get to know them, I guess.” She’d met everyone but Dinah so far, and they seemed, nice? She hadn’t really worked with them, letting them back up Oliver when they were available, while she’d patrol on her own, with Dig, or just Felicity on tech.

“You sound thrilled.” Felicity said and laughed. She finished her drink and then looked behind Sara. “The one you were looking at keeps looking over here.”

“Excellent,” Sara nursed her own drink. “You can go home,” Sara nodded, “I have it handled from here.”

“Are you sure?”

Sara nodded, “And hey, I have you on speed dial now.”

“Okay, and no one calls it speed dial anymore.” Felicity grabbed her coat and put down some cash for their drinks.

“You don’t have-”

“Sara, you have a minimum wage job. I can buy us some drinks. I need to do more fun things with friends that don’t involve people getting shot with arrows. It’s a thank you for bringing me somewhere where there's no punching.”

“Okay.” Sara sighed and then waved as she walked out the door.

Sara finished her own drink and placed the empty glass to the right of her.

“Can I get you a drink?” A voice behind her said. Sara turned around and grinned when she saw it was the man she’d been eyeing earlier.

“That would be great,” Sara said.

Craig (and Sara wasn’t completely over the fact that she’d slept with a dude named Craig) had been, well, technically, satisfying. He’d lacked creativity, but hadn’t made her regret all of her life choices. He’d been smart enough to not say anything too incriminating about his top secret job, and to tell just enough that if she didn’t know better she’d be impressed.

He also slept like the dead.

It had been easy in the morning to go through his wallet until she found his official Time Bureau badge and hide it in her dad’s gun safe. Luckily, her father was out of town for the weekend doing something political in Central City because she wasn’t sure he’d been okay with this.

She slipped back into bed, kicking him slightly until he woke up.

“Hey,” He grinned at her, voice groggy and Sara smiled back.

“Hey.” She looked at him and debated for a moment, and then slipped out of bed, “I actually have somewhere I need to be.”

“Oh,” He blinked a couple times, “Yeah, no problem, I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Oh really,” She fluttered her eyelashes as he pulled up his pants. “Thank you.”

“Can I leave you with my number?” He asked.

“Of course,” Sara said and dutifully pretended to type the number into her phone. “I’ll text you later.”

“Great.” He smiled.

She ushered him through the living room and the front door, letting him leave her with a kiss on her cheek. She opened the safe back up, and kissed the card emblazoned with the Time Bureau emblem.

She had done it.

#avalance #legends of tomorrow #sara lance #my writing: avalance #my writing: lot #my writing #boomerang au #mine

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dfroza · 3 months ago

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A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures

for the 7th of October 2024 with a paired chapter from each Testament (the First & the New Covenant) of the Bible

[The Book of Matthew, Chapter 15 • The Book of Judges, Chapter 8]

along with Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms with Proverbs 7 and Psalm 7 coinciding with the day of the month, accompanied by Psalm 16 for the 16th day of Astronomical Autumn, and Psalm 131 for day 281 of the year (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

A post by John Parsons:

Shavuah tov, chaverim! As I mentioned last week, according to Jewish tradition on Rosh Hashanah the destiny of the righteous, or the tzaddikim, are written in the “Book of Life” (סֵפֶר הַחַיִּים), while the destiny of the wicked, or the resha’im, are written in the “Book of Death” (סֶפֶר הַמָּוֵת), though the people “in between” will not be inscribed in either book but are given a grace period of Ten Days -- from Rosh Hashanah until Yom Kippur -- to turn to God before their fate is “sealed” for the new year. On Yom Kippur, then, everyone’s name will be indelibly written in one or the other of the two books, and the Ten Days are therefore referred to as "aseret yemei teshuvah" (עֲשֶׂרֶת יְמֵי תְּשׁוּבָה) - the “Ten Days of Repentance,” and/or "yamim nora’im" (ימים נוראים) - the “Days of Awe,” because repentance at this time (or its lack) will affect the divine decree for the coming year....

The climax of these Ten Days of Awe is the 25 hour fast on Yom Kippur, the “Day of Atonenent,” that symbolizes the people’s sincere desire to be purified from their sins. The sages state that "afflicting the soul" (Lev. 23:32), or fasting from food and drink, is not undertaken as a means of punishing ourselves for our sins, but is intended to help us focus entirely on our spiritual side, free from carnal interests and concerns. It is a day utterly focused on the LORD and our need for reconciliation and salvation...

The biblical name for the Day of Atonement is Yom Kippurim (יוֹם הַכִּפֻּרִים), meaning "the day of covering(s), atonements, pardons, reconciling." Yom Kippur was the only time when the High Priest would enter the Holy of Holies and utter the Name of YHVH to offer blood sacrifice for the sins of the people. This "life for a life" principle is the foundation of the sacrificial system and marked the day of intercession made by the High Priest on behalf of Israel.

Yom Kippur is one of the most important holidays of the Jewish Year and holds tremendous significance regarding the Second Coming of Messiah, the restoration of national Israel, and the final judgment of the world. It is also a day that reveals the High-Priestly work of Yeshua as our Kohen Gadol (High Priest) after the order of Malki-Tzedek (Heb. 5:10, 6:20).

Note that in the Scriptures, Yom Kippur is actually written in the plural in the Torah, Yom Ha-Kippurim (יוֹם הַכִּפֻּרִים), perhaps because the purification process cleansed from a multitude of transgressions, iniquities, and sins. However, the name also prophetically alludes to the two great atonements given by the LORD - the first for those among the nations who turn to Yeshua for cleansing and forgiveness, and the second for the purification of ethnic Israel during Yom Adonai, the great Day of the LORD at the end of days.

Yom Kippur once was called “The Day of Mercy” (יום הרחמים) or “The Day of God’s Name” (יום השם), alluding to the revelation of the Name YHVH (יהוה) and the attributes of God’s Compassion after the sin of the Golden Calf (Exod. 34:6-7). How much more, then, is Yom Kippur the “Day of Yeshua’s Name” since He secured for all of humanity everlasting kapparah (atonement)? Yeshua the Messiah is Moshia ha'olam (מוֹשִׁיעַ הָעוֹלָם), the Savior of the world; His indeed is the “Name above all other Names” (Phil. 2:9-10; Acts 4:12). It is altogether fitting, then, that His “hidden” Name was proclaimed before the kapporet (the cover of the Ark of the Covenant) in the Holy of Holies before the Father for the purification of our sin.

We affirm that Judgment Day has come and eternal justice was served through the sacrificial offering of Yeshua for our sins (2 Cor. 5:21). Yeshua is the complete fulfillment of the Akedah of Isaac. Our names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, or Sefer HaChayim (Rev. 13:8). We do not believe that we are made acceptable in God’s sight by means of “our own works of righteousness” (Titus 3:5-6), though of course that does not excuse us from being without good works (as “fruit” of the Holy Spirit in our lives). Indeed, professing Christians will stand before the Throne of Judgment to account for their lives (2 Cor. 5:10). “Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is” (1 Cor. 3:13). We should walk in “fear and trembling” (Phil. 2:12). Life is an examination, a test, and every moment is irrepeatable. Every “careless” word we utter will be echoed on before heaven (see Matt. 12:36-37). Our future day of judgment is being decided today... May we awaken to the urgency of the hour and call upon the Name above all names, our great Lord.

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Psalm 76:7 reading:

Hebrew page:

About Yom Kippur:

10.6.24 • Facebook

from Today’s email by Israel365

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

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edai-crplpnk · 5 months ago

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Sorry for the incomming infodump, I have been summoned by Naruto timeline talk.

Part 1 of the manga is aactually 1 year and a half long!

Graduation presumably happen in March because 1 that's how it is in Japan so it's the most likely 2 Itachi is “scheduled to graduate in the springtime” (Itachi Hiden, chapter 1 part 3), and Hinata is “preparing to enter the Academy [...] in March” (The Last novel, Prologue) so all evidence point in that direction.

The Chuunin exam starts on July 1st (Chapter 34), so it's either 3 months after their graduation or one year and three months.

However, ages of the characters in the data books work by giving the same age to every character who is born during the same year, likely the same school year, and by giving the age they turn during the year the manga starts in, not by giving the age the character are during their first or last appearance in the manga. (I will happily explained if prompted, but if not just trust me 😆). To put it simply, all the Rookie 9 are 12 in the first data book, then 13 in the second. It means Part 1 is necessarily spread over two years, the years where they all turn 12 and the year where they all turn 13. So it has to be during that second year that the Chuunin exam happens, which coincides with the fact that the second data book, about that second year, was published during the Chuunin Exam arc.

The two first rounds of the Chuunin exam last 5 days (Chapter 45: “You have 120 hours in which to complete the exam - exactly five days!”) and then the third round is a month later (Chapter 88: “And thus the finals will commence one month from now!”) So the Konoha Crush is on August 6th.

Then, Shikamaru just became a Chuunin when Naruto comes back from the Tsunade retrieval mission (Chapter 172: “Let's celebrate Shikamaru's promotion to Chuunin”), and we know from the second and third data book that he was promoted at 12, so it must be before his 13th birthday on Septembre 22nd.

Tsunade visits Sasuke in the hospital right upon her arrival (Chapter 172), Naruto and Sasuke have their fight, the sound four comes around, all of that happens pretty quickly, and so the Sasuke retrieval mission happens in late September, a year and a half after Team 7's graduation.

And that's it!*

Needless to say, that's still way less time than the Sannin got, and Kakashi had three student, and they had missions to do, and everything was a mess, so I'm not invalidating the post whatsoever but I needed to jump in for timeline data and now I will leave you alone, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

*Unless you want to account for the fact that the expiration date on Naruto's milk is in fall, so it would be extremely expired if that scene was in March, but I chose to favour more solid data than this one. If you want to favour milk expiration date, and the idea of the milk being only mildly expired, then it would be a year, not a year and a half.

He only had them for 6-7 months??

Looking at a timeline and watching the Land of Waves and Chuunin exams again (how far we've made it so far with the niece and nephew) and just realized how short of a timeframe Part I really is, that in Part I, Kakashi only had Team 7 for 6-7 months before it all went downhill/Sasuke left!!! I don't know why that blows my mind. SIX -SEVEN MONTHS! By the end of Part I to Shippuden and time spent with sensei/mentors, it's like:

Iruka/The Academy : 5 yrs

Kakashi : 6-7 months (months,people, months)

Jiraiya/Tsunade/Orochimaru : 2 - 2.5 years

When looking at it like this, I really think people/fans expected WAY too much out of Kakashi. He started with the traumatized-youth-of-the-year team and had only MONTHS to work with them and from the ground up. Subtract the time he was gone on missions, in the hospital and/or comatose (looking at you Itachi) and that gets knocked down to maybe 4-5 months. He spent less time with them than any other sensei and did a remarkable job for what he was given. I think all of this to say, give the man some grace. That was wild.

When all was said and done, what he did for this little rag-tag team of traumatized feral orphans + Sakura was more than amazing. SIX MONTHS, people, six months. Well, maybe seven, but still...let that sink in. I think people fail to acknowledge this when they call him a "bad sensei-" can't believe people are still doing that years later(!). Let any of the other jonin sensei do what he did in six months and with the team he was given - any of y'all try working with traumatized prepubescents and see how long it takes for them to work together?? I do every.single.day. They're all about survival and living in that trauma mind. Trust? What's that? Teamwork? Nope, gotta look out for me. Then you go and put them on a team with Captain Trauma, himself. Smart move Lord 3rd, smart move. Yeah, yeah, yeah I get it, only other Sharingan, control 9-tails, son of your sensei, blah blah blah. Poor Sakura, btw. Poor little thing didn't know what she had gotten herself into.

I dunno, I just don't think people ever see it from this perspective - that he literally only had them for months. Guy's team - already had a year together. Asuma's team - InoShikaCho were predestined wombmates. Kurenai's team - they were well-adjusted (Shino's the most laid-back person you'd ever find; just give Kiba a puppy; and who can ever get mad at Hinata, well, other than her family).

Traversing other corners of the interwebs and didn't realize just how much Kakashi hate dislike scorn "non-like" there is out there even now. It's wild. All this to say, just showing Kakashi-sensei some love. ❤️ and respect.

#naruto timeline

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casspurrjoybell-24 · 1 year ago

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Sugar Punch - Chapter 34

*Warning Adult Content*

- Theo -

I felt as though my legs were going to give under, as I tried to catch my breath with my hands on my hips.

It's been a week since Maddox came back and since today he had time to come to the gym with me and continue where we left off with my training, which I was starting to regret as I could taste blood in my mouth, from how hard he pushed me.

"Come on Theo, you still need to finish your 5km on the treadmill." Maddox said, before using the gym towel in his hands to wipe his face free of sweat.

Oh my God, was he seriously trying to kill me?

5km was... forty, thirty minutes?

My legs felt as though I would collapse any minute and he's talking about running...

"I... can't," I said, catching my breath, as he looked at me with serious eyes and a frown on his face. "I feel like I'm going to throw up," I say honestly, as my head felt it was being squeezed, same as my lungs as breathed in and out.

I felt like I was dying but Maddox had barely broken a sweat as he stood there looking me over, as I pathetically sat on the floor, my hands massaging my legs as they started to ache.

"That's your head talking, Theo, you'll be surprised what your body is capable of," he said, with his arms crossed as he looked down at me with a smirk on his face. "We can stop here for today and work on durance next time, you're still not hitting your session goal."

I felt pathetic and weak that I couldn't lift a finger when Maddox had finally taken time out of his busy schedule to train me but I knew my limits and I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be but I wasn't giving up.

I was just not where I wanted to be yet with my training and Maddox knew that but despite knowing that he still pushed me to never give up.

"Come on, I'll help you to the showers."

He held his hand out, which I took as he pulled me up from the ground, I groaned out in pain as I stood on my feet.

I must be crazy to want this, I can't even feel my legs from how badly they're shaking, my feet also feel like I'm walking on pillows as Maddox helped me walk towards the exit of the underground part of the gym, we were in.

Opening the doors, Maddox helped me up the stairs towards the main part of the gym, to the first floor where the showers were and with each step I could start to feel better, as the metallic taste in my mouth started to go and my head pain got less painful.

Maybe Maddox was right and it was all in my head?

I'm starting to feel better.

As Maddox walked me through the gym, he instantly got attention from the other people at the gym once they saw his face and I know I should be used to this by now but it still made me feel weird that I was dating this incredible person.

Helping me on the bench, Maddox turns and opens his locker as it's only the two of us inside the men's lockers room at the moment.

"You're getting better, I can tell you've been working out from how long you lasted compared to our last session," he said, as I looked at him, lifting his gym t-shirt over his head, displaying his perfectly defined muscled back, covered in tattoos.

I couldn't help but drool as I admired him, he was still intimating in the sexiest way possible and sometimes I felt like I was the luckiest idiot alive to have this guy all to myself, I was a nobody compared to Maddox Zane, this beautiful man who was built like a God.

"Who knows, in a few months you might be ready for a fight," he said as he closed his locker, a towel in his hands as he turns around to look at me.

What did he just say?

"A fight?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah."

He came over to me as I lifted my arms as he started to take my t-shirt off from over my head.

"You're a fast learner, Theo, you got some real potential for the ring, if it's all the same to you I could hand your name out to someone I know who'd come and train you when I can't."

"You think I... could become a fighter?"

I had never thought about fighting professionally, I still felt like I was nowhere near fighting but if Maddox thought I had potential.

Still... fighting had always been my weakness, I was always on the short end of the stick when it came to fighting, I was the punching bag, not the puncher.

"I... I don't know, I-I'm not like you Maddox, I can't fight..." I said painfully tight, as Maddox's dark eyes meet mine as his face turned stoic.

"Have you even tried? Don't give up before you even give it a shot, if I listened to myself every time I doubted myself, I wouldn't be standing here Theo."

What did he mean by that?

Maddox started to get undressed as he took his boxers off, I blushed out and looked away shyly as I started to take my own shorts off, along with my underwear and from the corner of my eye I couldn't help but look at Maddox and how amazing his body was.

'Have you even tried?'

Have I ever fought back?

Now that I thought about it... I had never liked violence, even after everything Eric did to me and the football team, I never wanted to hit them back, the thought never crossed my mind.

I just wanted it to stop, I never wanted to fight, I just wanted to feel stronger, so nobody would think of bullying me ever again.

Maddox was right, I wasn't pushing myself enough and after all he's doing for me, believing in me, training me, not giving up on me, the only one that is letting me down is... myself.

Could I become a fighter though, like Maddox?

I... might have thought about it once but Maddox was what you called a 'natural born talent for fighting' he was a beast in the ring and unbeaten champion, everyone he went against, he won.

Someday I'd love to be like Maddox, to be that confident, strong and unafraid of anything.

"Here, let me help you," he said, as I looked at his hand held out to me, then his face as he grinned at me.

I took his hand and then I felt my heartbeat skip a beat once he pulled me up, my chest hitting his wide, chiselled one, as he looked down at me, with a look that made my face feel hot, his eyes looking at me the same way they do whenever he wants to touch me.

The whole session I felt it, the tension between us was there and I could feel Maddox holding himself back because he wanted to train me and whilst I wanted to train too, I also want to touch him too.

I could see Maddox's face coming closer, as his eyes slowly moved down from my eyes to my lips but because he could get any closer, the door to the locker room opened and I pushed Maddox away from me in a panic and stepped away from him before anyone could see us standing close to each other.

"Oh, Mads. Theo."

My face was hot and when I turned enough to see who it was, I smiled as he looked at me, with a nod as he walked further into the locker room.

Rick... the gym owner and another guy I was intimidated by from his size alone, even if he was in his 50's, he was terrifyingly lethal looking, with his big muscles and bald head and big white beard that was perfectly smooth.

"How'd the workout go?" he asked us both, as he opened his locker on the opposite side of the room.

"O-Oh, um, good," I stuttered out nervously, looking at Maddox who tightened the towel around his waist.

Rick turned around as he laughed a deep throaty laugh.

"Mad's got you weak at the knees already? Don't worry, you'll adjust in no time."

"Theo's doing just fine," Mads grumbled out, his eyes shifting from mine to Rick's. "Do you still have Tony's number on your phone? I want to talk to him about taking on Theo, just on days I can't come in," he said, as Ricks eyes widened at us.

"Well, I didn't expect this today," he whistled, looking at me, his wide muscled arms crossing over his wide chest with a lazy grin on his face. "I got his number, he'll be onboard to take over but are you sure this is what you want?" Rick said, before looking at me and asking, as he looked me over.

I swallowed hard, suddenly nervous and unsure what to say.

Was I ready for this?

"I... um..."

No running.... that was the old Theo, if Maddox believed in me, I knew I could do it.

"Yes," I said, looking directly at him, as he looked at me dead in the eyes, as the room goes silent.

Suddenly, Rick walks over to me and slaps me hard on the back and started laughing, as my back felt as though he hit me from the strength of his hand, despite him only tapping me.

"I like it, you got spunk Theo, I'll pass Tony's number on, he's always looking for fresh meat up for the challenge," he said, turning around to get his towel out from his locker as he started to get undressed.

"Come on, let's shower," Maddox says to me, as I follow behind him, not missing the look on Rick's face as he turned and watched us head into the showers, like he wanted to say something more.

Fighting... could I really be a fighter, like Maddox?

As I turn on the shower and step into the water as Maddox did the same in the shower next to mine, I couldn't help but second guess everything up until now, like fighting in a ring with someone else, for sport.

All my life I've been beaten, tossed around and broken, and now I had this opportunity to turn the tables around and do something with what I felt inside, all the emptiness I felt growing up, I could forge that into something great.

Just like how Maddox started...

I thought about it and wondered how Maddox really got into fighting, what I learnt about him was what I read online and apart from coming from a single parent household and living in one of the worst parts of the city, Maddox was still a mystery, not only to the people who knew him but also me.

Maddox only told me about his ex-girlfriend, who had a breakdown and how she got him into fighting but was there more to it?

I had wanted to ask him but I could never find the timing to ask more about his life, before he became a professional kickboxer.

I trusted Maddox and it was no secret that I had fallen in love with him, so if he said I had what it took, I was going to try, instead of just give up without giving it a shot, if not for myself, then for Maddox, who I admired, more then he will ever know.

"Theo?"

I turned around and saw that Maddox was leaning against the shower wall next to hear I was, holding out a 3 in 1 shampoo bottle for me, already showered and with a towel wrapped low around his hips.

"Are you okay?"

I took the bottle from his hand and nodded my head as I tried not to give away the fact that I was just thinking about him and everything else, not wanting him to worry about me.

"Yeah... t-thanks," I said, hinting to the bottle as I poured a generous amount into my hand and started washing my hair.

I wanted to know everything about Maddox, he was my boyfriend now and pretty soon he'll be busy again with traveling and events, I don't know when I'll ever get the chance to learn more about him, if not now.

"I'll wait for you in the locker room," he said, before he reached out, held my hand in his and turned me around as his face came closer to mine, until his lips touched mine, in a sweet and gentle motion.

Maddox pulled back and squeezed my hand gently in his, before letting go of my hand and then turning around to leave as I watched him walk to the shower room exit, his eyes meeting mine one last time before he opened it and left behind the door.

I put my head against the shower wall and groaned out as I looked down at the effect that Maddox had on me, just from a simple touch of his lips.

I... might have to make him wait just a little longer for me because there was no way I could leave here with.... this.

Still… I was going to learn to fight, despite not having an interest in it before, apart from self-defence, I was excited to see how far I could take it, not wanting to give up any more just because it's hard.

I wanted to be proud of myself and fighting could be just the thing to make me feel as though I could stand next to Maddox and not feel as though I wasn't good enough for him.

Things were changing now and I was exciting to see where the future was heading, a lot has happened and I was starting to feel like I found my place in the world, now all I had to do was fix this little problem... then I can talk to Maddox more about it.

First things first... I needed to take care of myself, before somebody else came inside and saw me.

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fiveisnumber1 · 2 years ago

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Timeless - Five Hargreeves X Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33

Hello! After a long bit of work the first chapter in the season 3 arc is finally here! This part of the story takes place right after the end of Pt 33 - Demolition Lovers so for clarity you may want to go back and just skim the ending of that but you don’t have to. I am so happy to be posting it and sharing it with you all and I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Very long chapter and pre-transition canon-specific deadnaming

__________________

Pt 34 - Welcome...Home?

"Oh hi (Y/N)! " Dot replied cheerfully

"Hey, can we talk?" You questioned

Dot furrowed her brows in confusion as she looked toward Herb. Shrugging his shoulders, Dot looked back at you questioning in an upbeat tone,

"Oh, sure. What about?"

You looked around to see where everyone was on the farm trying to make sure that no one was close enough to hear. Diego and Five were off in the distance arguing over what briefcase they should use to get home while the rest of the family was off by the house trying to relax after the events that had just occurred. Taking a step closer, you leaned in towards the two of them as you quietly asked,

"Are things going to be okay? Y'know, when we get back home?"

Dot and Herb looked at each other for a moment before turning their attention back toward you. Their faces reflected a mix of confusion and optimism, two emotions that you wouldn't really correlate with each other.

"I don't see why they wouldn't be." Herb replies "Time is complicated but I don't think there have been any catalyst incidents."

"And you're positive in that judgment?" You pressed

"As positive as you can be when it comes to the intricacies of time-space," Herb answered

You stayed silent for a moment as you looked at them processing Herb's words. They were nice, and you didn't feel like they were tricking you, but Herb himself said that he was JUST appointed to lead the commission. It's not that you didn't want to trust them but there was a part of you that sincerely subscribed to the butterfly effect and worried that your actions here in the 60s changed the future you would return to. But you had never worked for the commission and if they said it was okay then who were you to really question them? You took in a deep breath before nodding your head and accepting what Herb had told you. They seemed confident in their answer so you tried to push your skepticism aside and just be happy that it was all over. As you stood there quietly for a moment you could hear Diego shout from afar,

"Herbie! Come here real quick!"

"I'll be right back," Herb said to you and Dot as he walked away

You watched as Herb walked away for a moment before looking back to Dot. She stared at you with a nervous look on her face before her eyes began to shift back and forth to make sure no one was around, just like you had only a few months ago. Reaching into her pocket, you saw as she pulled out some type of pouch and secretly extended it towards you.

"What is this?" You asked quietly

"I trust my dear Herb with his calculations but this is in case things go sideways." She replies softly "It won't help everyone but I know it can help you."

"Okay, but what does it do?" You inquired

"I can't go into details now but there's instructions inside. Only open it when you feel desperate for someone to listen. Now hide it in your pocket before Herb gets back." Dot instructed

You were confused and highly caught off guard but you did as you were told and hid the pouch in your pocket. Right as you had managed to get it in there, Herb returned to Dot's side.

"Well it was good seeing you, but we've got to get back to work!" Herb stated excitedly

You nodded your head as you gave the two of them an awkward smile before watching as they flashed away. With the two of them gone, you pulled the pouch you were handed out of your pocket and took a look at it. You couldn't see through the fabric of the material but besides the folded-up paper, the rest of the items felt round and they made a plastic clicking noise when you shook the bag. You could feel your curiosity growing and part of you wanted to open it but Dot gave you clear instructions so you were going to follow them. Placing the pouch back in your pocket you slowly made your way back over to the house. Looking up at the sky, you were hopeful at the idea of going back home with the Hargreeves. Everyone that you cared about was alive or would be alive soon and nothing mattered more.

Remembering the duffle bag Charlie had given you was still in the car you decided to change directions to go grab it. Opening the passenger side door, you opened the bag before placing the little pouch you were given into it, surrounding it with the rest of your stuff for extra safety. Zipping the bag back up you threw it over your shoulder and brought it over towards the house since it seemed like Sissy and Harlan would be taking the car to get out of Dallas. Entering the house you saw as Klaus sitting on the floor in front of the couch staring at the dog tags he held in his hand. You didn't say anything as you saw the look on his face and knew whom they symbolized. It was the same look you would give the necklace around your neck on the days that Five was gone. A look of pain and yet at the same time so much love. As you continued to walk past him you caught your reflection in the fragments of what was once a decorative mirror in the living room. Dried blood and dirt covered your face and there was a small cut on your temple. Deciding that it would be best to clean that all up you placed your bag on the kitchen table and went into the bathroom to fix yourself.

After finding a decent briefcase within the field of dead agents, Five and Diego started to walk back towards the house and the rest of the group. Everyone was obviously tired and just wanted to go home but it seemed like most of the group was still processing. Deciding it would be best to let everyone somewhat recover before jumping back to the future, Five decided to go look for you. Not seeing you outside, Five entered the house. As he entered he saw Klaus sitting on the floor staring at his dog tags. Five didn't dare look at him too long or else he would start to remember when he was in his position. Noticing your duffle bag on the kitchen table, he walked towards it taking a look around for a moment before hearing the sound of humming coming down the hall from the bathroom. The door wasn't shut but deciding to knock anyway Five called,

"(Y/N)?"

Hearing the sound of your beloved's voice you finished putting the band-aid on your cut before calling back,

"Come in!"

Pushing open the door, Five stepped in before closing it behind him. Turning around you saw him standing there with his hands in his pockets, a curious look on his face as he inquired,

"What are you doing in here?"

"Cleaning up my face. Fixing some of the lesser injuries." You answered tapping the band-aid on your temple

Five nodded his head before walking over towards you. As he stood in front of you, you looked up at him with love in your eyes. All you wanted was to be with him and now maybe, just maybe, you two would get that chance. A burst of joyful energy came over you at the thought of getting to be a happy little couple as you wrapped your arms around his waist bringing him into a hug. But as you held him tighter and tighter you heard as he sucked in his breath. Quickly pulling back, you asked concerned,

"Are you okay?"

Five placed his hand over his side where he had gotten hit with shrapnel about a week ago. It mostly didn't bother him anymore and it was healed to the point where he could move around just fine. But when you held him tight it put a pressure on it that sent a quick jab of pain through him. The jab didn't even hurt that much it was more so just the shock of it that made him suck in his breath. He knew none of this mattered though as you already had a worried look on your face.

"It's just the shrapnel wound." Five tried to reassure "Don't worry, it's almost gone."

As much as he tried to reassure you, it did not matter. He had made a sound like he was injured and now that was all you could think about. Gently placing a hand over where you knew the wound to be, you looked up towards Five and asked,

"Can I check it real quick?"

Although Five knew that he was fine, he saw the concern in your eyes and knew that you wouldn't feel better until you made sure he was better. A small smile came to his face as he nodded his head yes, allowing you to get right to work. Carefully, you untucked the side of his shirt that covered the injury and lifted it up to see the bandages. You made a tiny grimace as you saw how gross they were. They were yellowed from sweat and dried blood. These wouldn't do at all. Grabbing the first aid kit from the bathroom cabinet you kneeled down in front of him, pulling some fresh bandages and hydrogen peroxide out of the kit you found.

As Five watched you kneel in front of him, he could feel the pace of his heart begin to rise. Your fingers brushed against his skin as you undid his old bandages, causing him to tense up. With the threat of the apocalypse finally behind him, it seemed as if his mind had been cleared enough to think of other things. But being so preoccupied with saving the world for so long he seemed to have forgotten the feelings he experienced and the thoughts he had the last time he was in a young adult body. Internally he begged his brain to stop changing the meaning of the situation at hand. This was nothing more than just helping to take care of his injuries. That was all. And yet, adrenaline still coursed through his blood and you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Looking at the ceiling, Five took slow, steady breaths trying to level himself out hoping that his blood would stay in the upper half of his body and you hadn't noticed the way he was acting.

After finishing the new bandages, you put the materials you used back before you stood up from the ground. Placing your hands on his cheeks you turned his head to look at you. As you did so, you felt the warmth of his flush on your hands. His cheeks were slightly red and his skin was burning up.

"Five, are you feeling okay? You look hot." You asked

Five looked at you shocked. Was he hearing you correctly? Did you think he was hot? Did you like him that much in the schoolboy uniform? He wasn't a fan of it but if you thought he looked that good in it he would keep wearing it. Trying to make sure he heard you correctly though Five asked flustered,

"I uh- I look what?"

"Hot. Warm. Flush." You responded, "Are you okay?"

Realizing what you had meant Five started to regain his composure. Readjusting his jacket and pushing his hair back over to the side he parts it on, Five stated,

"Oh. I- yeah. I'm fine."

As he continued to calm himself down and get back to his normal self Five noticed something on your neck. Pushing your hair away he saw the bruises on your neck. He had noticed them before in the barn but they had gotten slightly darker since then. Tilting his head to the side curiously he asked,

"What happened here?"

"Ah yeah, Lila tried to choke me." You explained

Five's eyes snapped towards yours. A mix of rage and concern built within him as he realized it was Lila who had done this to you. Granted, he wasn't surprised it was her but he wasn't happy that it happened either.

"She what?" Five asked harshly

"It's fine, I almost killed her." You tried to comfort

Your words didn't do much to comfort him but his concern was less about Lila and more so about you. Raising his hand he gently traced his fingers over the scattered bruises.

"Do they hurt?" He asked softly

"They're a little sensitive." You replied back

There wasn't any medicine or bandages that he had at his disposal to try and make the bruises go away but he could at least try to make them feel better. Leaning in towards you he quietly stated,

"Here, let me help."

Five placed his lips on your neck softly kissing each bruise one by one. Slowly he worked his way down your neck making sure that none of your bruises were left untouched. But between the sensitivity of your bruises and the feeling of his lips on your skin you unconsciously tilted your head giving him more access as you let out a blissful little hum.

Five stopped for a moment, his hot breath lingering on your neck as he noticed what you had just done. He could feel as his heart began to race again. The hormones he thought he had suppressed only a moment ago starting to make a return. He wondered if maybe there was a chance you were feeling the way he did too. Liking the way you had sounded, he wanted to hear you again. His lips trailed down your skin before finding the crook of your neck and pressing firmly against it.

You let out a more audible hum delighted by his loving action. You had come across depictions of a moment like this in fiction before. A moment so tender and sweet with two lovers finally getting a true moment alone together and yet none of those depictions could've accurately predicted the way you felt right now. Your skin felt hot and your stomach churned with anticipation of something more but then he stopped.

Pulling back, Five looked at you slightly nervous. He wanted to keep kissing you, keep hearing the way that sighed so sweetly for him, but he didn't want to move forward just because he wanted to, especially if all you thought he was doing was trying to make your bruises feel better. Carefully he asked,

"How do you feel?"

You looked towards him as Five's gaze met your own. Slowly you snaked your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you as you said,

"A little better but..."

You paused. Leaning in towards him you brought your lips up to his ear as you whispered,

"Can you help me again?"

A shiver ran down Five's spine as your words ran through his system. Pulling back to look at you he saw the toying smirk on your face and the way you batted your eyelashes so innocently at him. He knew this delicate little act was just a facade for the true intentions he could see in your eyes, intentions that lit a fire within him. You could feel as Five's hands slid down towards your waist and gripped onto them tighter. Taking a small step back you leaned your body against the bathroom counter as Five took a step forward pinning you between the counter and himself. You knew you had nowhere to go, but it didn't matter because you didn't want to be anywhere else. You slowly tilted your head to the side, exposing the bruised skin to him once more. But as he leaned back in ready to possibly leave a few bruises of his own on your neck, the door to the bathroom quickly swung open, causing both of your gazes to rush towards the door.

"Where's that-" The person questioned

From the doorway you could see Klaus standing there, his body frozen in place and his eyes growing wider by the second as he took in the slightly compromising situation the two of you had initiated.

"Oh shit." Klaus exclaimed, "Hey kids!"

"Klaus!" You shouted embarrassed as you used one of your hands to shield your reddening face

"Get! Out! GET! OUT!" Five yelled angrily

Five's blood began to boil as he stared his brother down. Stupid fucking Klaus. Always ruining everything. He didn't even knock on the door. Who doesn't knock on the door!? It's common courtesy to knock. Especially a bathroom door! How could he be so careless to just barge in? And more so, how come he had to barge in NOW? The world wasn't actively in peril and this was the first time Five had caught an actual break in the last 20 days. All he wanted to do was spend some time alone with you and Klaus had to come in and ruin it like the dumb lanky cockblock he is. Letting go of your waist Five turned around, keeping his eyes locked on Klaus. The anger on his face only displayed a fraction of the rage that coursed through his blood along with the surplus of adrenaline and testosterone.

"What are you still doing here!" Five demanded

"I didn't mean to inter-" Klaus starts to explain

"Get out!" Five emphasized once more

"Can I just grab-" Klaus tried to interject

"LEAVE!" Five shouted once more

Seeing that he was not going to be getting what he came in for Klaus put his hands up innocently before slowly backing out the bathroom door. Carefully he grabbed the doorknob and shut the door behind him leaving you and Five alone once more. Silence fell over the room as you both dealt with the embarrassment and annoyance from the interruption. Any feelings of intimacy that you were experiencing only moments ago had dissipated just as quickly as they came. Five looked at the now closed door

"God, can't get one moment away from my stupid siblings..." Five complained

Walking up to him, you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, resting your head against his back. Five was still annoyed but your embrace was warm and your presence was comforting and he couldn't help but relax at your touch. With his tension melting away he looked over his shoulder back towards you.

"Do you think they're ever going to leave us alone?" He asked

"With this family? No way..." You answer

Pausing for a moment you let go of Five allowing him to turn around and face you. His arms find their way around your waist once more as you wrap your arms around his neck. Leaning his head down your noses gently brush against each other for a moment before you look into his eyes. A smile coming to your face as you look at him and further explain,

"But our home is the size of a block, has 42 bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, multiple attic spaces, an extensive basement, an abandoned planetarium, plus some hidden rooms that I found. So I have a feeling we might be able to get away for a bit even if they won't leave us alone themselves."

"You are correct. The house does have all those options." Five remarked playfully

"It does." You reply "But if worst comes to worst, and we can't stay at the house then we go stay at a hotel."

"Well, maybe it's time to go home then?" Five suggests

You stopped for a second thinking about his statement. You didn't want to go home just yet. Once you returned you would be thrown back into the daily grind of life. School, activities, and social life, on top of readjusting back to life in the 21st century. You'd have to resume them all right after dealing with your second apocalypse, on top of about 4 years of trying to exist in a time that was not your own. You just wanted a moment to yourself. A moment to exist without expectation. Finally acknowledging your boyfriend's suggestion, you answered,

"No."

"No?" Five asked quizzically

"No," You restated "Now that we have it, can we just take some time to ourselves and do nothing for a bit?"

The corners of Five's lips turned up into a small smile as he heard your request. After going and going and going the thought of just doing nothing sounded nice. There was no rush to go home. No rush to move on to the next task. Everyone else on this abandoned farm was already taking time to themselves so why not do the same?

"Yeah. Let's do nothing." Five responded

Stepping out of the embrace, you took his hand in your own as you walked towards the side wall of the bathroom pulling him excitedly behind you. Before he could even say something about it you had already phased yourself through the wall using your abilities to phase him through too.

"That felt weird." He commented, rolling back his shoulders as if to shake off the feeling

"I could say the same about your powers." You remarked, "Now c'mon before someone sees us."

Pulling him behind you, you ran off towards the barn. With the handler's body having been cleared out by the commission, and the place a relative mess from all the stuff that happened with Harlan, it was unlikely anyone would come here to stay. Which made it the perfect place for you two to be. Taking a look about you made sure no one was around before walking in and heading over to one of the large piles of hay. Letting go of Five's hand you plopped yourself down into it. Five looked at you for a moment as you just laid in the hay but before he could move to sit down you were already encouraging him to, saying,

"Come on. You gonna do nothing with me or not?"

Without a word, Five sat down before laying in the hay with you. You moved towards him, your head resting on his right shoulder and your right hand finding a place over his heart. Five's right arm found its way around your waist pulling you closer as his left hand took hold of the one you had placed on his chest. Resting his head atop of yours, he took in the silence. It wasn't like the silence he was accustomed to. It was neither the deafening silence of the apocalypse nor the isolating silence of his life as a commission agent. This silence was peaceful. It was comforting. It was safe. And for a while, that was all either of you needed, peaceful nothingness and each other's embrace.

You didn't know how long it had been with you laying there but that didn't matter either. Moving your head to look up towards him you softly called,

"Five?"

"Yes, love?" He responded, looking back at you

"What do you want to do when we get back?" You asked

"Ah, that's easy. I want to retire, I want to buy a 1970s Corvette Stingray and I want to spend time with you." Five answered

You let out a small laugh at his response. There was nothing wrong with his answer, truly it made sense for him that those would be his choices but you found him explicitly stating he wanted to retire both funny and cute.

"What's so funny?" Five questions amused

"You saying you want to retire." You explain "Like I get it and you totally deserve it. Sometimes I just forget there's still an old man in here."

To him the thought of forgetting his actual age and how many years he lived sounded so nice. And yet it seemed so foreign. He could only dream of a day when he forgot the fact that his age was not equivalent to his appearance.

"Well, I hope one day I can get to the point where I forget that too." Five mused before asking "What do you want to do when we get back?"

"I want to finish out school with my friends, I want to go to college with them, and I want to spend time with you." You respond

"Hmm." Five hummed at your response

"What?" You inquired

"Going to college doesn't sound too bad." He stated, "You think I could go?"

"You already look like you should be getting into an argument in a philosophy class, so I'd say so." You joked

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." He replied flatly, although there was a smirk on his face

"It is funny. But being serious, I can help you with it. There's still time to get some applications in if we really work on it and then we could go together." You suggested

"I'd like that." He states

"Me too." You respond

The corners of your lips upturn into small smiles as you think about the plans you have for the future. And as you looked into each others' eyes you hoped that your life together would be just as bright as the images painted in your minds. After everything you deserved the life you always wanted together, both with the things you discussed and the life goals that you each wanted but wouldn't say at this time. Staying in that moment you could hear the sounds of crickets and when you looked up you saw fireflies dance above your head. Looking outside the sky had gone from a soft blue hue to a deep dark night. The stars outside shone above indicating that a significant amount of time had passed.

"Oh shit. How long did we lay here?" You exclaimed

"I don't know, I was too busy doing nothing to worry about time." Five remarked, "You think it's time to go home?"

"Yeah," You answered, "Let's go home."

Getting up from the stack of hay Five extended his hand out to you to help you up. Together you helped each other brush off the leftover hay strands that stuck to your clothes before heading towards the door that led out of the barn. Taking each other's hands you stepped out into the dark night and made your way toward your future together.

Returning to the house Five rounded everyone up while you grabbed the briefcase and your bag of stuff from inside the house. Throwing the strap of your bag over your shoulder you headed back outside, meeting the rest of the group on the porch, and handed the briefcase to Five. Together group walked off the porch, standing in a circle similar to how they all did when you all jumped together the first time. Finishing setting up the briefcase Five looks up and asks,

"Everyone ready?"

"Let's do it, yeah." Luther responds

With a nod of acknowledgment from Five, everyone wraps their arms around each other or holds hands with the person next to them. The night is quiet but as Five takes one last look around at the group Klaus shouts,

"Wait!"

Everyone looks at Klaus confused as he gives a sad pleading face before running back over towards the house and grabbing a cowboy hat that was left on the porch. Leaning over to Five, Diego whispers

"Fifty bucks if we leave him here."

But before Five can respond Klaus trotted back to his spot in the circle, the hat now on his head as he grabbed his siblings' hands once more. As you all held each other you watched in silence as Five clicked down the latches of the briefcase and the energy within it started to build. You could feel as the energy grew and grew until you all were consumed in a flash of blue. In a matter of seconds, the energy stopped as you all now stood around a table in the middle of the academy foyer. As you all caught your breath trying to regain your composure from time travel you looked about the place. The academy was standing in one piece, the sun was shining outside, and things were as you remembered them to be but you had seen the academy in the 60s. It was unchanged, filled with its outdated decor that you had grown up with your whole post-time-jump life.

"Oh, good God. Wh-what day is it?" Allison asked

"April 2, 2019. Day after the apocalypse." Five stated looking at a newspaper on the table

"Wait, so we stopped it?" Luther questioned

"My God, it's over? Did we...actually succeed at something? That's incredible!" Klaus exclaimed

You smiled at the fact that you all may have actually succeeded at something but as nice as it was to be back in the academy, this wasn't the building you needed to see right now. There was one right across the way that you hadn't stepped foot into since the day that you had arrived in the future the first time you time traveled. Whether it was the fact that just seconds ago you were exactly 50 years from being dropped into 2013 or the deja vu of traveling to the future again something in that moment was calling you home, even if you knew there was no home to be found there. Carefully you started to wander toward the front door while the rest of the group continued to celebrate behind you.

"I don't know about you guys, but I need a drink." Klaus exclaims

"Yes." Luther agrees

"In fact, I need several." Klaus adds

"I'm in. I'm in." Vanya replies

As most of the group starts to wander into the parlor, Allison looks towards the front door where you were standing aimlessly. She wanted to be with her siblings but her daughter was out there somewhere. Hopefully at home tucked safely in her bed. Feeling the need to get back to her Allison stated,

"I should go find Claire."

Luther however in a celebratory mood grabbed at Allison's wrist pulling her behind him as he requested,

"Oh, come on, one drink."

Letting him pull her along Allison made her way into the parlor with the rest of the group, except for one member that lingered behind.

"Ma chérie, you coming?" Five questioned

Almost as if you were pulled out of a trance you looked behind you and saw Five standing there. His hands were in his pockets as he leaned against one of the decorative columns that led into the parlor.

"Huh? Oh." You answered, "In a bit, I just need to go check something..."

Your eyes moved away from him to look back at the front doors and that's when he started to realize your intentions. You wanted to go back home, to your first home. Your true home. He didn't know your reasons for doing so but he didn't need to know. Whatever the reason, it was important to you to do so. Not wanting you to be alone though, he inquired,

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I need to do this alone." You replied looking back at him once more "I'll be back soon."

Without another word, Five gave you a nod and turned into the parlor. And with that, you walked out the doors and across the street. You stood at the bottom of your front steps looking up at the building. The curtains were closed but you could tell the rooms behind them were still dark. Taking a deep breath, you made your way up the few stairs leading to the front door as you checked around to see if anyone was looking at you. Seeing that no one was focusing on you, you let out your breath as you phased yourself through the door. Just as you expected the house was dark and from what you could make out the house was still completely empty. And although you knew there was no one here to respond you still quite stated,

"Mom, Dad...I'm home..."

As you began to explore the home you had left behind, so did Five and the others in the parlor. The group sauntered around the room looking at all the items and furniture that filled it. It was all just as it was. Except for one thing out of place.

"Why is there a painting of Ben over the mantelpiece?" Diego asked concerned

Quickly the rest of the group made their way over to Diego and saw the same portrait hanging where Five's should've been. Five's eyes went wide as a shot of nerves ran through him. That shouldn't be up there. The shitty portrait of him, the one you hated so much, should be what's there. Something was very wrong, but that thought only became worse as a familiar old voice said,

"I knew you'd show up eventually."

The group turned towards one side of the room, as from behind a chair someone stood up and turned to look at the group. Standing before them was their father, Reginald Hargreeves. Alive.

"Dad." Diego said quietly

"You're alive." Luther mentioned surprised

"Why shouldn't I be?" Reginald questioned

"Yeah, you're right. I'm...I'm just happy that we're home and...together again." Luther fumbled

"Home? This isn't your home." Reginald retorted

"What are you talking about? This is the Umbrella Academy." Allison replied

"Wrong again." Reginald stated, his eyes turning up towards the balcony above, "This is the Sparrow Academy."

The sound of footsteps could be heard behind the Umbrellas as they all turned to look towards the sound. On the balcony above stood five unfamiliar figures and a floating cube, all of which looked down at them with confusion. As the two groups looked at each other another figure approached from below the balcony. Standing in front of the Umbrellas with a nasty scowl on his face he demanded,

"Dad, who the hell are these assholes?"

Shock and disbelief washed over the faces of the Umbrellas as they tried to process what they were seeing because the person who stood before them all was their brother Ben. Also alive again. Not knowing any other way to react, the group stated simultaneously,

"Shit."

"Ben," Klaus called softly, a smile upon his face

Ben's attention turned to look towards Klaus as he looked at him with confusion and disgust. Who was this lanky wannabe cowboy intruder that seemed to know him already? The rest of the group continued to look at him with awe and bewilderment as Luther stepped towards the front of the group asking quietly,

"Is that really you?"

"And who are the weirdos on the balcony?" Diego shouted

"They are the Sparrows." Reginald answered "My children."

The eyes of the Umbrella Academy went wide as they looked between the Sparrows and their father. None of this was supposed to be happening when they got back. The world was in one piece but everything else was starting to feel like it was in shambles. The group looked back toward Reginald, Five taking the initiative to step forward as he frustratedly remarked,

"I'm sorry. What do you mean, your children? That's not possible, old man."

"Of course, it is! I think I'd know, wouldn't I?" Reginald replied

Coming down from the balcony the rest of the Sparrows stood in a structured formation opposite the Umbrellas in the parlor. They looked on quietly as the situation developed trying to understand what was going on. While most of the Umbrellas continued to look at their father, Klaus excitedly looked at Ben. Using both hands to point at him he asked,

"Everybody else can see Ben, right?"

"Cute hat, Sundance." Ben insulted

Klaus tipped his hat back in response as Reginald began to speak, explaining to the Sparrows who the intruders in their house were,

"They call themselves the Umbrella Academy, a group of scheming, perfidious malcontents who accosted me in the fall of 1963 when I was away on business in Dallas."

As everyone else focused on Reginald's word, five focused on the briefcase on the table in the foyer. If he could just get back to it then maybe they could try to find a solution to fix this. But he couldn't just flash away, the Sparrows seemed on edge and any movement could possibly lead to a larger issue than other people living in their house.

"Be warned, they claim to be my spawn." Reginald adds

"Claim? Look, Five, what the hell is going on?" Allison asks in an unamused tone

"I don't know yet, but it's concerning." Five replies

"Is he telling the truth?" What seemed to be the leader of the Sparrows asked

The Umbrellas looked back over at the Sparrows. All of them still rigidly standing there waiting for some type of answer or explanation.

"Not the part about us being perfidious." Vanya stated

"No, we're amateur-fidious, at best." Klaus chimes in

"But we are his children. This is our house." Vanya continued

"Yeah, yeah. We, uh... We grew up here." Luther adds

The Sparrows all look around at each other before the one who looked serious injured mocked,

"Yeah, we grew up here."

"I kind of think we would have noticed you." The one with the long brown hair commented

Luther looked over towards the one who had just made the comment and stared blankly for a second. It was as if his brain had to catch up upon seeing him. Snapping back to reality a smile appeared on Luther's face as he reached out his hand and greeted,

"Hi. I'm Luther."

The welcoming gesture did not last long though as Allison quickly stepped forward shouting,

"Okay. None of you belong here."

"Oh! Well, then. I guess we'll just pack our bags and move out." The one with glasses snapped back

The ominous glowing floating cube then started to make some garbled noises in which it seemed like the Sparrows could understand what they meant. When the cube finished "speaking" the Sparrows began to snicker at what was said as Ben loudly replied,

"You slay me, Chris."

Before any more comments could be made a familiar blonde woman walked into the room. The Umbrellas slowly turned to look at her as she stood there with a plate of cookies in her hands.

"I wasn't expecting company. This is the best I could do on shor-shor-short notice." The woman said, her voice and body glitching at the end of her statement

"Mom." Diego said softly

"Mom? She's a robot, you perv." The dark-haired girl remarked

The Umbrellas looked at her angrily. How dare she disrespect both their mother and their brother. The tension in the room started to build up as all the Hargreeves started speaking over each other. A cacophony of taunts, insults, and pleas to calm down filtered through the air.

"Hey, don't you call him that." Luther chastised

"Or what?" Ben pressed

"Come closer and find out." Luther firmly stated taking a step toward Ben

"Luther! Guys, chill!" Vanya tried to interject

"Think I'm afraid?" Ben questioned stepping toward Luther

"Stand down, Ben." The tall one in front commanded

"Look at that! She's got a voice!" Luther spat

"How about I hide that big Rubik's Cube up your ass?" Diego shouted

"Enough!" The tall one yelled

The room became quiet as all eyes turned to him. He stood there solidly, with his shoulders as straight as can be. He spoke with authority as he stated firmly,

"I don't know what circus you escaped from or how you got past our security, but we're done here. You got 30 seconds to get out of our house."

"And if we don't?" Allison shot back

"Then we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way." He replied

Trying to get in between the brewing conflict before it boiled over into something worse Vanya stepped forward trying to calmly explain,

"Look, we just fought a literal army. Okay? This doesn't need to get ugly. Let's all just calm down, and let's talk."

The room quieted down for a moment as everyone settled. Perhaps there was no reason to fight. Maybe they could just it out. As everyone paused though Klaus continued to get excited. Ben was there and he was alive! He didn't have to be without his brother like he thought he would.

"Psst. Benerino." Klaus said grabbing his attention "You look so much better alive than you do dead. Am I right? Except that haircut."

"What the hell did you just say?" Ben shouted angrily

The rest of the Umbrellas watched cautiously as Klaus approached Ben from across the room babbling out whatever words his brain managed to form. Five could see as Luther reached out his hand to grab Klaus' shoulder as Klaus rambled on,

"Come on, come on. Stop with all the hostility, Mr. Grumpy Pants. Oh wow. Nice scar. Muy macho."

"Shut your mouth!" Ben demanded

"You shut your mouth and just hug your brother-" Klaus started to say, his arms raised high and wide for a hug

But that hug never came. Instead Ben swiftly punched him in the face sending him stumbling backward past the group and over a coffee table. The Umbrellas looked on with shock and anger at what had just occurred. Sure Klaus was well...Klaus...but that didn't mean he deserved to get punched in the face. Stepping in to defend Klaus, Luther approached Ben as he shouted,

"Hey! What the hell? You didn't have to do that!"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I did!" Ben shouted back

"That's right, he did!" The seriously injured one chimed in

"Luther, hey!" Vanya called trying to get Luther to step down

But it wasn't working as Luther stepped closer to Ben once more. Putting himself slightly between Luther and Ben the tallest of the Sparrows shouted,

"Back off!"

That threat, however, did nothing and as Luther pushed the tallest Sparrow away he was immediately pushed back. Pulling his hand back into a fist, Luther swung at him hoping to nail him in the jaw but before his fist could make contact the Sparrow had ducked down dodging the hit. Quickly, standing back up the Sparrow kicked Luther in the chest with immense force sending him flying back across the room. The Umbrellas attention snapped towards Luther as they watched almost in slow motion him slam into Klaus, who had just stood up from getting punched, and crash over the couch across the room.

"Bad touch, Luther! Bad touch!" Klaus groaned, hitting his brother's shoulder

"Sorry." Luther apologized as he got off of Klaus

Whatever hope for a lack of conflict went out the window at that moment though as the Sparrows started pursuing the Umbrellas. Trying to get the upper hand Five rushed towards Ben and began to fight him near the bar. Punch for punch they went back and forth with each other. Ben kicked Five in the shin but Five went back with a blow to Ben's face. Ben nailed Five in the jaw and when Five swung his arm back to hit Ben, he ducked down dodging the attack. Back and forth they blocked each other's next attacks but then Ben nailed a punch right to Ben's gut catching Five off guard and giving Ben the upper hand. Wrapping his arm around Five's neck Ben tried to choke him but before he could do any real damage Five had already blinked from his grasp. Reappearing, Five looked at Ben trying to start putting the pieces together in his head on how this was possible.

"You're alive. That's great. Or possibly horrible. I'm not really sure yet." Five commented

"Is that some kind of weird smack talk?" Ben remarked

"It's more of an existential problem, really, Ben." Five explained

"Awesome. Well, here's your next problem." Ben retorted

Immediately, a tentacle shot from Ben's chest and over towards Five. Before the tentacle could grab onto him though, Five had already flashed up to the balcony above the bar. With his hand in his pockets, he looked down at Ben who had spotted him on the balcony.

"You know, even though you're a total asshat now," Five started to say

The fact that he was speaking didn't matter though as two tentacles shot from Ben's chest once more in his direction. Doing what he had done before, Five jumped away. Appearing behind Ben he placed one hand on his shoulder turning him back towards him and punching him in the face knocking him down.

"It's nice to see you again, really." Five finishes

As Ben laid on the ground from being punched, Five turned around to see the cube, apparently called Chris, floating aggressively in the air as it had a stand-off with Diego. Five watched as Diego jumped on top of the cube. His eyes went wide with shock as Diego began to punch one of the cube's sides yelling,

"Who's your daddy? I'm your daddy! Who's... your... daddy?"

Five watched as the cube lifted Diego higher into the air, spinning him around at high speeds before throwing him off onto the balcony above. Five considered getting involved to help Diego but from where he stood he could see Allison fall to the ground and the extremely injured Sparrow about to stomp her. Flashing to her, he quickly grabbed her before flashing away once more. Arriving safely on the ground upstairs the two took a moment to get themselves up again.

"Thanks." Allison said

"No problem." Five replied

From behind the two of them, a voice called,

"Hey, short pants. What's up?"

Allison and Five stood there for a moment as the snarky dark-haired girl approached them. Five looked at the scene below him and seeing the chaos, and the fact that his siblings were not doing well in this fight, Five instructed,

"Go help the others. I'll handle this one."

"Okay." Allison replied as she made her way to the stairs

The dark-haired girl took a few steps closer before stopping. As Five and her stood opposite each other the dark-haired girl mockingly asked,

"What are you, their mascot?"

Five didn't say a word. Instead, a smirk came to his face as he jumped behind her. Turning to face him, Five punched her straight in the face causing her to fall to the ground and groan in pain.

"More like their ringer." Five mocked back

The dark-haired girl sat up on the ground and looked up at Five with anger in her eyes. Hissing at him she spat a black goo from her mouth and onto his face. Five's face filled with disgust as he touched the goo on his head before looking at it. Looking at the dark-haired girl he ridiculed,

"Ugh. Hey, gross, all right?"

But as he looked up from her something about the world changed. The lighting became softer, things became more peaceful and from down the balcony walkway, he saw a vision of perfection. There you stood, looking absolutely radiant. The world glowed around you as you held a bouquet of flowers in your hand and wore the most stunning white dress. Five looked at you in awe and as you started to walk towards him, a wide smile on your face, Five carefully moved towards you meeting you in the middle.

"Hi mon chéri." You greeted softly

"Wow. You look beautiful." Five complimented breathlessly before asking "Why are you wearing this?"

"Well, I think it would be odd not to wear a wedding dress to our wedding." You joked

Five's eyes went wide with wonder and his heart skipped a beat as he heard you say those words. He had always dreamed of being able to get married to you. He had spent countless times throughout his life thinking about how he would ask you to be his forever, what type of wedding you two would have if given the opportunity, and who would be there to share the celebration of your love for one another. The thought of marrying you was one of his greatest dreams. Not being able to fathom that this was actually happening Five asked tenderly,

"We're getting married?"

"Well that's why you asked isn't it?" You replied holding out your hand

Five looked and there on your hand was a stunning ring. He didn't remember getting it for you but it looked like the type he always imagined getting you. And with the smile on your face, it seemed to indicate you were happy with it as well. You were happy with him. A smile appeared on his face as he took the hand you had extended out to him in his. Looking up at you from the ring, he stated delicately,

"I never thought I'd get a chance to do this."

The smile on your face widened as your eyes filled with immense amounts of love. Five let out a peaceful sigh as he took all of this in. After his time in the apocalypse, he didn't want much but this? This he wanted more than anything.

"Well you have your chance now," You told him "So are you going kiss me and make me your wife or not?"

Five nodded his head before closing his eyes and slowly leaning into you. His one hand let go of yours as he placed it on your waist, the other of his stroking your hair as your lips pressed against each other. His heart felt like it was doing flips knowing that you were now his wife but as Five continued to kiss you something knocked into his head and the next thing he knew he was rolling down the main foyer staircase. Hitting the tile on the ground floor, he groaned in pain both at the physical pain of the injuries he probably sustained and the emotional pain of his dream being just that. A dream. As he forced himself to get up Five could see the Sparrows surrounding Luther, the tallest of them continuing to beat him bloody. Five tried to get up but after the fall down the staircase, it was difficult. As he tried to force himself to his feet he could hear the sound of Vanya yelling,

"Luther go, get out!"

Five got up on his hands and knees, his body aching with every move he made but he needed to keep going. As he continued to try and get to his feet he saw as Allison rushed down the foyer stairs and over to him. Extending a hand out to him she helped him up to his feet.

"Thanks," Five said

"No problem." Allison replied, "You okay?"

"I've been better." Five answered

The two of them took a moment to breathe but it didn't last long as the Sparrow with glasses began approaching. At this point it was evident their best chance at survival was to get out and leave. Quickly, Five and Allison ran down a side hall away from the Sparrow that was heading their way. As they ran down the hall, Five could see Luther up ahead crouched down over another Sparrow. Running past him Five shouted,

"Luther, we're leaving!"

Five took the lead running ahead of the two of them, and after a moment he could hear footsteps catching up behind. As the three of them ran together away from the squawking of birds that came from behind him, Five remembered that the briefcase was still on the table. Turning on his heel, he ran in the opposite direction past his siblings before spatial jumping downstairs to the foyer. Looking at the table he saw that it was nowhere to be found.

"Where's the briefcase? shit, it's gone!" He exclaimed

Looking up from the table he then saw Vanya laying on the broken remains of a table struggling to get up and groaning in pain. The Sparrows in the room stepped closer and closer beginning to surround Vanya.

"Vanya, get out of there!" He shouted

His statement didn't do much to help though and instead, he saw as Vanya began to glow. A resonating sound filled the air as Five realized what was going to happen next. With wide eyes, Five stepped away from the entrance to the parlor and jumped out of the house before anything worse could happen.

As the Hargreeves had been battling across the street you however were exploring your old home. Carefully you walked from empty room to empty room, memories coming back of a time long gone from the moment you were in now. There was the kitchen you would eat in with your family, there was the living room where you would run around and play, and there was the game room where your favorite game was just your dad lifting you up and spinning you around.

These rooms were easier to be in, the bittersweet nostalgia didn't hurt as bad as you made your way upstairs that feeling grew. You entered your parents' bedroom, the one you would run to when you had a nightmare and have your mother sing you back to sleep. The one where you and your parents would watch a movie together on their TV. The one where you would hide many times when playing hide and seek. You could feel the love and warmth of your memories but at the same time, there was a cold emptiness. Your past still haunted you like ghosts of a time gone by but you couldn't let it drag you down. You may not have learned to move on but as always you needed to keep moving forward and just take life as it came your way. For better or for worse.

Turning out of your parents' room you walked down the hall towards the room you dreaded the most. Your own. You knew that on the other side of this door was a room frozen in time. It would look the exact same way it did when you left it in 2002 and the exact same way you last saw it when you arrived on November 22, 2013. As you reached for the doorknob your hand shook slightly but you pushed past the nervousness you were feeling. Closing your eyes you grabbed the doorknob and slowly turned it open. Placing your hand on the door you pushed it fully open and took a step inside. Taking a deep breath you readied yourself to open your eyes and when you let out your breath, you did. Your eyes opened, but immediately they went wide with shock. The room was...empty. This didn't make sense. The room should've been untouched. Filled with all the items from your childhood. Toys on the floor, books on the desk, posters on the wall, and your big fancy canopy bed over where it should've been. But none of it was there. The room looked as if it was never lived in. Your heart raced as you wondered what this meant but as that happened you could feel a familiar knot build in your stomach. Following the feeling, you rushed over to the window and actually looked across the street at the academy. Your wide-eyed look grew as you saw giant banners of many people who you had never seen and one face that you recognized instantly. And then above the banners on the roof, you saw one more sign that read Crime's The Problem. We're The Solution. Sparrow Academy. A sinking feeling settled within you as you said aloud,

"Shit."

As you continued to stare in disbelief at the signs before you that may or may not have signified that you had messed up the timeline, the feeling in your stomach grew but before you could react to it, a burst of energy came from across the street knocking you down. Your arms wrapped tightly around your waist as you cried out in pain. Whatever was happening over at the house was not good. You took steady breaths, trying to redirect the pain, and after a few minutes of doing so, both the disturbed energy and your pain had vanished. Carefully you got up from the floor but once you were standing steadily you immediately knew you had to get back across the street. Transporting your molecules from your old bedroom over to the foyer of the academy you looked into the parlor that everyone had entered when you left only to see the place in complete disarray. Slowly, you walked into the room looking down at all the broken wood and glass on the ground.

"Jesus...what happened here?" You asked yourself quietly

As you looked at the mess you heard an unfamiliar woman's voice snap sarcastically,

"Oh great, we've got another one."

Your head whipped over to see a group of six people and a floating cube looking at you angrily. The same group that you had seen advertised on the banners outside, The Sparrow Academy. You had no time to care nor fucks to spare for the people standing in front of you. In what can only be described as one of the most stressful days of your life, you time traveled to 1982, killed a bunch of people, time traveled back to the 1960s, got kidnapped, killed a bunch of other people, went back to the 60s AGAIN, had to keep your boyfriend from fighting and killing his past self, and then was attacked by a literal army on top of being in extreme pain every time a massive disturbance occurred. Straightening your shoulders back you demanded,

"Where are the people I came with?"

"We kicked their asses and sent them running home." The seriously injured one jabbed

"Well this is their home so either you're playing a really shitty game of hide and seek or you suck at comebacks." You retorted "My guess is the latter though."

"We're not here to play games. You either get out of our house or we will force you out." The tallest one commanded

If there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was being told what to do. No one was going to tell you what to do and especially not in this house. The academy had always been your little rebel's playground. You consistently lived directly in spite of Reginald and his dumb academy structure and today was not the day that this was going to change.

"Okay well first of all, I lived here in the 60s so this was my house first." You remarked back "And second of all, you must have the wrong bitch because I don't take orders from anyone."

You watched as they geared themselves up ready for a fight. A fight you were willing to take on because unless one of them had powers similar to Vanya, you were obviously going to win. Slowly the group of them started approaching but you stood your ground. You watched as Ben stepped forward quickly, pushing his way in front of the rest of the group. There was a look of pure malice on his face, one that you had never seen on him before, but with that look, you instantly knew this was not the Ben you had known. This was someone completely different and you should treat him as such. Standing in front of everyone else he shouted cockily,

"I got this."

And just like that two tentacles flew out of his chest and towards you, but you didn't move. You didn't even flinch. Instead, you kept your eyes trained on Ben as his tentacles went swiftly through you. You watched his cocky expression turn into confused anger as his tentacles continued to swat at you to no avail. As the tentacles came back towards you, your hands shot up grabbing one in each hand and quickly burning the slimy flesh. Ben shouted in pain as he retracted his tentacles back inside himself. A vile smirk came to your face as you mocked,

"You missed Benjamin."

You watched his face contort into anger but you couldn't care. It was your turn now. Closing your eyes you ignored your actual sight and instead using your abilities you felt for all the shards of shattered glass in the room. Once you had found them all you began to raise them in the air so that they surrounded the Sparrows. Opening your eyes you looked dead at them all, their confidence and anger had now turned into a state of poorly hidden panic. Slowly and in a steady tone, you spoke your next words to them,

"But I won't."

And just like that, you flung the glass their way. You watched as they spread out running in different directions but you could still hear their shouts and cries of pain as glass sliced them. You winced though as what felt like a piece of glass sliced your cheek over your cheekbone. None of the glass should've hit you, you were directing it away. And then from across the room, you saw the seriously injured one holding his hand over a cut in the same place. Putting the pieces together you concluded that his power was injury replication. His pain was his attacker's pain.

"Well then." You said to yourself "Better avoid contact combat."

As you took a moment to yourself you could feel the energy of someone trying to sneak up behind you. As they rushed to sneak attack, you phased yourself through them and saw it was the largest member of the group. With his back still turned to you, you kicked him in the back of the leg making him collapse to his knees before roundhouse kicking his head and increasing the density of your foot on impact for extra damage. You watched as he fell forward to the ground but before he could get back up you placed a paperweight on his back and increased the density to the point that it was impossible for him to get up. You watched as he struggled to get off the ground to no avail. This was one of your easiest tricks, you were doing this before you turned double digits, and yet this big guy was effectively down for the count. Proud of your work you saw as a group of sparrows congregated together most likely trying to figure out their next plan of attack. Rolling your shoulders back a few times you turned yourself invisible before jumping over to them. You saw the way they frantically looked around for you.

"Where did she go?" Ben shouted

Without a word, you decided to answer him. Punching him in the gut, he doubled over allowing you to elbow him in the head and push him to the ground. The Sparrow with glasses and the one with long brown hair looked on with concern as their heads whipped around trying to find you. You watched as they wandered away for a moment before shouting,

"Colder."

Quickly they snapped back around towards the sound of your voice. As they slowly approached you continued to talk them through the game of hot and cold just waiting for them to get to you.

"Warm. Warmer. Hot. Hotter!" You instructed

It was when they were right in front of you that you revealed yourself and said,

"You two are on fire!"

The one with the glasses immediately went to grab you but before she could the other girl screamed,

"Oh my god, Fei! Look! Look!"

The one with glasses looked down at herself only to see that both she and the girl who had shouted at her were indeed on fire.

"I told you two you were on fire." You commented

The two of them began to panic as you refused to let the flames go out. The funny part was that you weren't actually burning them or their clothing, the flames just existed there as a distraction. Each girl tried to pat out their own flames and that of each other but nothing was working. This was too easy. These people thought they were going to kick your ass and force you out of the house? Yeah right. They were amateurs compared to you. Flashing up to the balcony above, you leaned against one of the columns, crossing your arms over your chest and taunting,

"C'mon is that really all you guys got? I assumed you'd at least be somewhat of a challenge."

You were unimpressed by them. These were supposed to be the Umbrellas replacements? Sure they were very good at presenting themselves as a united front, something the Umbrellas were...working on. But these guys hadn't even landed a hit on you yet. Granted, that was a difficult task to do, but even your friends back when you did your vigilante thing were able to get you sometimes. And they didn't even have powers. They were just skilled at working together. It wasn't surprising given their upbringing but it seemed like every Hargreeves was deeply rooted in the "everyone for themselves" mentality. As you stood there watching your minimal havoc cause its discord downstairs, a Sparrow with long dark hair began to approach you. You raised a curious eyebrow at her but didn't make any attempt to move from your current position. You watched as she pressed her tongue between her teeth, black veins popping up on her neck as she made a hissing sound before shooting some type of liquid from her mouth. Becoming permeable, the liquid flew right through you and landed on the column behind you. Turning to look at what was just spat at you, you saw a stain of black goop splattered on the column. Your face morphed into disgust as you looked back at the girl.

"Is that shit black? Gross." You grimaced "What's your power? Sucking off the tar monster from Scooby-Doo?"

You watched her face turn to anger as she repeated the process from earlier, spitting at you once more. Once again she missed as the liquid flew right past you. Finally deciding to move, you walked over and stood in front of her. With your eyes locked, you stated firmly,

"Keep your kinks to yourself you perv."

Before kicking her in the chest and sending her down the foyer stairs. You watched as she tumbled to the main floor hitting each step along the way before stopping completely at the bottom. Slowly, you walked down the stairs after her and looked down at the body at your feet. Tapping the girl in the side with your foot you could hear a small groan but didn't see any sign of movement. Oh well, it was one less Sparrow to worry about.

"This is pathetic. I need a drink." You said to yourself

Stepping over the body you headed back into the parlor, seeing your chaos. Glasses girl and long brown hair girl were still trying to stop themselves from being on fire. Still, neither of them realized that they weren't actually being burned even with the flames growing. Ben was still on the ground trying to recover and the first guy you attacked was yelling for assistance from the injury replication guy.

"Alphonso get this thing off of me!" He shouted

"I'm trying Marcus!" Alphonso replied trying his best to lift the paperweight

As you started to walk past the pair you commented nonchalantly,

"You're wasting your time y'know. It's not gonna budge."

Immediately, Alphonso turned on his heel to face you and you could see the extent of his injuries. It looked very bad. His body was covered with what appeared to be years of scar tissue that all piled up on each other. And for a moment you couldn't help but feel slightly sad for the guy. That went away though as he exclaimed,

"Hit me!"

You already knew that was a bad idea and were not going to be attempting any attacks that dealt with physical contact. It was only going to do damage to you. You however did have another idea.

"Yeah, no. I'm not gonna listen to the guy who looks like The Appetizer from Spongebob" you replied before saying in an upbeat tone "But I will piss your pants though!"

"You'll wha-"

Before he could even finish his statement though you rushed a bunch of water from his body into his bladder before continuing to use your abilities and compress it. You laughed as the guy, against his will, pissed his pants.

"Oh what the fuck!" He shouted

"As an added bonus how about you puke on him too." You added

Using your powers you turned Alphonso back around to face Marcus who still lay trapped on the floor under the paperweight. And without a moment to recover from pissing his pants, you compressed his stomach making him puke onto the back of Marcus' jacket. You could hear Marcus groan in disgust as Alphonso fell to his knees and started having a coughing fit. With a shrug of your shoulders, you moved on towards the bar. Stepping behind the bar you grabbed a glass and a bottle and started to pour the random liquor you chose in but you had not realized that your lack of care had lost your grip on the fake fire you had created. Before you could reach for your glass you heard the overwhelming sounds of dozens of birds squawking. Looking up you saw a swarm of birds appear out of the back of the one with glasses. High into the air, they flew like a dark storm above. They shrieked loudly as they circled but quickly their attention landed on you. In one giant mass, they flew directly towards you. Reacting on instinct you threw the bottle of alcohol that was still in your hand before summoning one of your knives to the other one. Setting it on fire you threw it after the bottle letting the two of them collide in the air, an explosion of flames and glass shot through the swarm of birds making them cry out in pain. The Sparrow who summoned them screamed as she placed her hands over her eyes and collapsed to the ground causing the other Sparrow you had set on fire to look in your direction. She raised her hand, blue energy starting to glow causing you to lift up from the ground but before you could get too far you lifted your own hand and made a swatting motion in the air sending her flying off to the side and into the bookcase.

Grabbing your glass you took a swig of your drink letting it go down smooth. After everything that had happened today, you deserved this. Walking out from behind the bar you stepped into the center of the room and looked at the bodies that were lying around. They weren't dead but they probably were starting to wish they were. But then from above, you saw as the floating cube appeared. It pulsed with angry red light as it insulted you through some garbled language.

"Easy there enderman. No need to get hostile." You retorted

The room was silent except for the groans of the defeated Sparrows as you and the cube stood off. Neither of you making a move, waiting for the other to take the initiative to attack. As you stared each other down, the rest of the Sparrows got up, stumbling over to surround you. You looked around at them, cuts, bruises, and blood littered their uniforms and bodies. You admired their resilience, the fact that even after all you had done so far they still would get up to fight was impressive. You could see the blade you had thrown earlier on the ground behind the cube and an idea came to mind. You knew the cube was a dense solid but if you made the blade phase into it then maybe it would do some damage. Carefully, you side-eyed the knife trying not to draw attention to it as you raised it in the air, but after a moment you flung it at the cube phasing it through its hard exterior and hitting the inside. You watched proudly as the cube wobbled a bit but before you could react a beam of red energy shot towards you hitting you in the head. You dropped to one knee as you cried out in pain. The energy wasn't like that of Vanya's, it wasn't a direct counter to your ability, but it flowed through you so rapidly it was difficult to think straight. With wicked grins on their faces, the Sparrows closed in and you knew you needed to do something or else you were screwed. You tried to fight against the energy that moved through you but it accomplished nothing. And that's when you heard Charlie's voice in your head.

Feel it, don't fight it.

You weren't going to stop this energy but maybe you could redirect it back. You moved your right hand in front of your head so that the energy beam hit there first and felt the way it coursed through you. Although your teeth were gritted, your breath became steady and as the Sparrows closed in on you, you raised your left hand up with two fingers pointed and completed the circuit. The energy that had rushed into you flowed out of you and connected with the blade you had lodged in the cube. You watched as it vibrated violently making a sound of what you could only assume was distress. Regaining your footing you stood up tall as you moved closer to the cube forcing more of its own energy into it. Quickly, the rest of the Sparrows moved towards you to make you stop, but before they could even get close you took in a slow deep breath taking in oxygen. Specifically the oxygen from the Sparrows' bodies. You watched as they grabbed at their necks all of them beginning to choke on nothing. Their faces turned blue as they tried to move forward to get to you but they couldn't. Blood began to drip from their noses and their eyes began to roll back into their head as you continued to suck every molecule of oxygen from their system. You could tell they were on their last breaths but before you could finish them off a familiar voice called from behind you,

"(Y/N)! Welcome home! I always knew you'd come back."

Hearing that voice you stopped what you were doing and turned right around. All the Sparrows collapsed to the ground, the cube going completely colorless and the humans gasping for the air they so desperately needed. You looked up towards the balcony and saw a man you were not expecting to see standing there. Reginald.

"What the fuck? Reggie? Why are you alive?" You shouted

"Why shouldn't I be?" He questioned back

"I don't know it's been like fifty fucking years." You argued before gesturing to the Sparrows behind you on the ground "And who are the 30-year-old losers I almost killed? Why do you have them?"

"These are my children, the Sparrow Academy. Just like the name you chose!" Reginald explained "And they are here because after the awful display those Umbrella malcontents put on at dinner in 1963 I decided to pick a different academy. A better one."

You let out a sigh of relief as you heard his explanation. It wasn't your fault that things had changed. You were still more put together than a Hargreeves. The only input into this timeline you truly caused was the name of the academy. You were in the clear.

"Are you impressed Number Zero?" Reginald inquired

"No. Of course not. I kicked their asses." You ridiculed "And don't call me that."

"Wait. You're Number Zero?" A voice behind you asked

You turned to look at the Sparrow Academy as they got up from the ground. Brushing themselves off they looked at you in shock waiting for some type of response.

"No. I'm (Y/N)." You reprimanded angrily "And if you disrespect me by calling me a number again I'm gonna turn your head into a fucking Pollock painting."

The tall one in the front, Marcus, put his hands up innocently as he apologized,

"I'm sorry I meant no disrespect."

"Whatever." You replied, "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

The Sparrow with the bird power stepped forward as she replied,

"It's just an honor to meet you."

"Yeah, we've been waiting on your return." Alphonso chimed in

You grimaced at them. Their responses were weird and unsettling. It was giving off cult-like vibes and you didn't like it one bit.

"That's not creepy at all." You remarked sarcastically

You had no clue what Reginald told them about you or your abilities. You looked back up towards the balcony for some type of explanation but he was nowhere to be found. You could only assume whatever he said was some type of warped truth. A positive light so grand that now they saw you as above them in some way. You knew though that Reginald wasn't to be trusted. He had a reason for everything, including shaping your image like this to them. It was a means to some type of end that you didn't know about. You watched as Marcus stepped forward, a sincere look on his face as he asked,

"Is there anything we can do for you?"

"First of all, you could stop treating me like some type of god. It's weird and makes me very uncomfortable." You explained "And second...I could use some medical attention, a shower, and some food so if that's not an issue that would be highly appreciated."

"Of course." He nodded "Sloane will take you to the medical room."

You watched as the girl with long brown hair stepped forward. A sweet smile on her face as she extended her hand out to shake yours.

"Hi, I'm Sloane." She greeted

Taking her hand in yours you gave it a polite shake as you replied,

"(Y/N)."

"Nice to meet you. Should we get going?" She asked

You nodded your head and with that, you followed her away from the rest of the Sparrows and towards the medical room. But as you settled in the house after a great victory, the Hargreeves however were forced to deal with their major loss in the middle of a park. The group hobbled their way over to various benches and tables that sat next to a small pond. Taking a seat on one of the benches in the shade Luther mumbled,

"Just gonna sit. I'm just gonna sit for a minute."

"That didn't go well." Diego commented as he leaned against the fence that blocked off the pond

"No, not our best work." Five replied sitting down at a picnic table

Five couldn't remember the last time he had gotten his ass kicked like that. He could barely think of an example. Really, he could barely think at all. His head was pounding like crazy, his vision was slightly blurry and he couldn't shake the feeling that he was forgetting something. He tried concentrating on remembering what it was he forgot, but the light of the sun hurt his head and the aching of his body was too great a distraction that he couldn't focus. All he knew at that moment was how much everything hurt. Five watched as Klaus walked over to the other picnic table and laid atop it. Twisting his spine, loud popping sounds could be heard as he tried to fix his joints.

"Oh, I'm cracking." He said

Looking across the way Five saw Allison and Luther sitting next to each other on separate benches. Allison's nose was bleeding and Luther's face was bloody and bruised. Neither of them looked good. No one here looked good.

"You all right?" Allison asked Luther

"I don't know yet. I've just never had my ass handed to me like that before. It's like...Here you go. It's your ass." Luther responded, his hands held out as if they were holding something

"Okay, I think Luther's concussed." Allison commented placing a hand on his shoulder

Climbing off the table Klaus sat down on the picnic table's bench and raised his hand towards Luther. Holding up what could've been three or four fingers Klaus asked,

"Luther, how many fingers?"

Before he could respond though Vanya came down the path they had taken to get to where they sat looking in as rough condition as everyone else.

"Oh. Thank God you're alive." Vanya called stumbling over to an open bench

"Apparently, so is Ben." Klaus commented

"Yeah. And he's a complete dickhead." Allison added

"They're all dickheads." Diego stated

"Dickheads who can fight." Luther remarked

Five's head continued to pound as he listened to his siblings say the word dickhead over and over again. It didn't make things better and detracted him from thinking about what might be going on. This was obviously not right and he needed to figure things out. Trying to get them to give him some quiet for just a few moments Five threatened,

"Okay, next person to say dickhead is getting a punch to the throat."

"Dickhead." Luther said

"Dickhead." Allison followed

"Dickhead." Klaus added

"Dickhead." Diego finished

Five rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly in disappointment. He still wanted to punch his siblings in the throat but that would take energy away from the ideas that were starting to form in his head.

"Hey, did Dad tell you why he was calling them his kids?" Diego asked

"He sure did! You ready?" Klaus laughed "Dad was so repulsed by us back in Texas, that he adopted an entirely different group of children just so that he didn't have to raise us."

"That's just peak Dad." Diego commented

"Isn't it?" Luther complained

"So he just didn't want us anymore?" Vanya asked

"Did he ever?" Allison responded

"See? I told you we shouldn't have asked him for help in '63." Luther added gesturing toward Five

Like a lightbulb finally getting electricity after a power outage, Five's brain began to work again. Slowly but surely the gears started turning as he thought about the situation at hand. If their dad decided against adopting them, then obviously, the Umbrella Academy never existed. And if the Umbrella Academy never existed it means their lives as they knew them were completely altered. The entire reality they were now in could be filled with alterations.

"I think you're all missing the big picture here." Five chimed in "If Dad didn't adopt us as kids, he changed the timeline. So who knows what else is different now."

"Shouldn't you know?" Allison questioned, attitude lacing her tone

Five knew that Allison was probably upset about getting kicked out of the Academy. Everyone was. That was their home and now most of the group had nowhere to go. And on top of it, she was antsy to go and get back to Claire, if she even existed in this timeline. With the fact that the Umbrella Academy was no longer around, there was a decent chance that neither was Claire. He wasn't going to bring that up though because he was already starting to get annoyed by her. Trying to get her to back off Five remarked,

"Sorry, Allison, but it might take me more than 20 minutes and a traumatic brain injury to figure this all out. Is that okay with you?"

"No, actually, it's not." Allison replied annoyed

"Guys, look, it's fine. We still have the Commission's briefcase, so worst case, we can just go back in time and fix it." Vanya interjected

That was not true though. There were two main problems with what was just said and Five knew he needed to address them before his siblings got out of hand with ideas that would not work. Standing up from his spot on the bench Five began to explain,

"Okay. There are two problems with that statement. First off--"

"Here we go." Klaus lamented

"Time travel is complicated, people." Five stated

"Yeah, we get it. Your job is so hard. Just...what?" Diego complained

"And secondly..." Five continued "I no longer have the briefcase."

Five saw as his siblings faces changed from their mildly disgruntled expressions to ones of shock and annoyance. At this point, Five was used to them reacting like this. He tried to do his best but it just never held up with them. Fortunately, most of them actually kept their mouths shut and just slouched in their seats rather than going on a tirade. Except for Allison, who stood up from her seat on the bench and aggressively asked,

"Five, where the hell is the briefcase?"

"Back at home most likely." Five answered

Home. The word echoed in his mind. There was something about it that felt so important to recall. And then it hit him. You went home. They left home. You didn't know that the academy was not your home. They left you behind. HE LEFT YOU BEHIND!

"Oh shit! (Y/N)!" Five shouted frantically "She doesn't know we left the house!"

"Where was she? We could've used some help from her in that fight." Luther remarked

Five hands started to shake, as he rapidly paced back and forth. He had to go back. They all needed to go back. They barely made it out alive but if it was you by yourself who knew what could happen? Trying to elaborate on the situation Five explained panicked,

"She left the academy to go look at her old house across the street. She doesn't know we left. We've gotta go back."

"What and get our asses kicked again?" Allison protested "No thanks. I'd like to live to see my daughter again."

With the realization that you could be in danger sinking in, Diego quickly walked over to Five. He had almost lost you once today, he wasn't going to let a chance for it to happen again occur. His worst fear was losing you, and he especially wasn't going to lose you to those Sparrows. Standing by Five's side he pulled out one of his knives as he stated,

"No he's right we have to go back for her."

"Yeah, (Y/N) is family. We can't just leave her behind." Klaus chimed in as he walked over towards the two of them

"(Y/N) can blow people up with her mind, I think she'll be okay." Allison retorted

Five's frustration grew as he stopped pacing and turned on his heel to face her. Just some time ago everyone was all "kumbaya" and "we're all family" on the farm and yet now, barely anytime later, Allison was just ready to leave you behind? Why? So she could go see her daughter? IF, Claire existed she was in California while you were only a few blocks away! Currently, you needed them all more than Claire needed Allison. Sure, she was right. You could blow people up with your mind but you had been through enough today. If you did fight them, you couldn't do it forever. They were powerful, capable, and dangerous.

"I am NOT leaving my girlfriend to deal with the Sparrows herself!" Five yelled at her "I know she's not defenseless but she is injured and it can get worse if we don't go back."

"Yeah, and I'm not letting my little girl get hurt by those psychos." Diego added "Let's go. Maybe if we're lucky she's still at her house."

the res of the siblings nodded their heads in agreement as they got up from their seats. You were family, and they weren't going to leave you behind. Allison watched as the rest of the family started to head back to the academy. Back to the academy where they had just gotten beaten to a pulp. Were they really just gonna barge back in there for round two? No. Absolutely not. There was no time for this. She had to get to her daughter. She couldn't just go back and attempt to deal with the Sparrows again just because you decided to take a little trip down memory lane. She needed to do something to get them to stay.

"Hey!" She called out

The rest of the Hargreeves stopped in their tracks as they all turned around to look at Allison. Without missing a beat, seeing as she had all their attention Allison spoke,

"I heard a rumor you all forgot about (Y/N) until dinner tonight."

Allison watched as the eyes of her siblings all went blank white for a moment, her rumor settling into their minds before their eyes returned to their normal colors. The Hargreeves blinked around in confusion, forgetting why they had all stood up.

"Where were we going?" Five asked

"Away from here." Allison stated firmly

The rest of the group looked at each other giving various shrugs and confused glances. But nevertheless, they started to walk off in the direction away from the academy. For the most part, the group walked down the park paths and sidewalks in silence. None of them really had anything to say and most of them were still trying to remember what their plan was. As they walked down the sidewalks the other park-goers stared at them with long judgmental glances as they passed by. It was an unusual situation all around.

"What are we doing?" Allison complained

"Ruminating." Five replied simply

"Why is everyone staring at us?" Klaus questioned

"Because we look like the damn Village People just lost a fight." Diego snapped as he took Klaus' hat from him

Jumping at Diego, Klaus tried to get his hat back while Diego continued to hold it away.

"Gimme that." Klaus shouted before getting elbowed in the ribs by Diego and saying "Hey. Ow!"

Allison couldn't deal with this. Her siblings didn't have the care or the urgency that she did. What needed to be done right now was that she needed to get to Claire as soon as possible and it seemed like everyone else was holding her back. Getting fed up, Allison started to walk away as she called back,

"You know what? I need to go find Claire. I will catch up with you guys later."

"Hey, Allison, no." Vanya called stopping Allison in her tracks "First, let's get somewhere safe, clean up those cuts, and then we'll go find her."

The rest of the group stopped in the tracks taking in the city skyline. Massive billboards of the Sparrow Academy hung off of buildings, their expressions serious and authoritative. The Umbrella Academy sure was mismanaged circus filled with a bunch of clowns compared to them.

"Well, what are we doing then? We can't stand here bleeding out in this park." Allison retorted

"I don't know, but we better gear up fast before they come for round two." Diego stated

"What makes you think they'll come after us?" Vanya questioned

"Because I would." Diego responded

"Yeah, we did break into their house." Klaus added

"Our house." Allison corrected

"...bust up all their nice antiques and shit." Klaus continued

"Yeah. I don't think the crime-fighting... super nerds are gonna let that go." Luther commented

Trying to get everyone to some type of safety Five suggested,

"Let's just think of someplace off the radar where we can lie low and not draw attention."

"What kind of a weird-ass place are we not gonna draw attention?" Diego replied

The group all looked at each other for a moment before their attention turned to Klaus. They watched as he spun in circles for a moment before stopping. Looking back at them he furrowed his eyebrows, trying very hard to think of a place where they could lie low and not draw attention to themselves. And then it hit him. He knew the perfect place they could go.

"I've got it! Follow me!" Klaus exclaimed as he started to walk off

The rest of the siblings looked at each other for a moment before deciding to follow Klaus. If anyone was going to know a place they could stay it was probably going to be him. And so off they went following their eccentric brother in hopes of being able to take care of themselves. You however already had your care underway.

Sloane had guided you through the house pointing out many things that were different from how you remember. There was an in-home movie theater, a dojo, a home gym connected to a full modern kitchen, plus many other things. But the thing that was most foreign to you was the woman standing in front of you taking care of your injuries. Your mom. Well, what should've been your mom. She had the same hair, face, mannerisms, and voice but this wasn't her. The love and care that you used to see in her eyes was replaced with an empty void. You watched as she hummed softly while she cleaned and fixed some of your minor injuries. With a cloth in her hand she reached up to clean off the fresh cut on your cheek and yet something about that action felt different. It was like the gentle touch of a concerned mother was gone, as if it never existed at all. You stared off at the wall in front of you as she continue her work. You had no clue how much time had passed when you felt a tap on your shoulder. Coming back into focus you saw Grace standing before you a basic smile on her face as she stated,

"All your wounds have been attended to and should heal relatively fast."

"Thanks, Mom." You responded

You didn't mean to say Mom. It was a force of habit given the woman she looked like, but as the word came out of your mouth there was part of you that hoped it would trigger something in her. A spark of recognition, even just a flash of the woman you once knew. Something to bandage the pain that was growing in your heart.

"Mom?" Grace questioned, "Why do people keep calling me that."

And with those words that tiny bit of hope you had gone away. As much as you wanted it to not be true, you knew that this wasn't your mom, nor was it even Grace. The woman you knew was lost to the past just like everyone else in your life that you loved. All you had left were the six Hargreeves you arrived with. Getting off the exam table you didn't let your eyes meet her own. If you looked at her face right now you were sure you would start crying from the fact that you had lost a parent again. Walking towards the curtain that separated the kitchen and the med room you quietly responded,

"I don't know. Sorry."

Taking a deep breath you put on a strong face before opening the curtain and walking out of the room. As you stepped out you saw all the Sparrows in workout gear, except for Marcus and Ben who were only in shorts and sneakers, approaching the treadmills in the gym that was on the other side of the kitchen. You stopped in your tracks and looked at them confused.

"(Y/N), glad to see you're doing better." Marcus states "Would you like to join us on our run? I'd be happy to lend you my treadmill."

"You guys run...together?" You asked confused

"We're a team." The one with bird powers said, "We do everything together."

You furrowed your eyebrows as you only became more confused. part of you wanted to ask how far the term everything went in terms of doing everything together, but something in you held you back from doing so. These people were so weird. Were there any Hargreeves that were normal?

"I think...I'm okay for now." You answered, "I've had a very long and physically intense day already so I'm just gonna go take a hot shower."

You turned away from the group and started to head out of the combination gym kitchen but before you could you heard Ben comment mockingly,

"Wow. A little run is too much for the amazing Number Zero."

Before he even fully finished his comment though a blade had already flung past his face leaving a cut similar to your own on his cheek. Slowly you looked over your shoulder, the eyes of all the Sparrows trained on you. Your eyes locked with Ben's as you stated in a slow, low tone,

"I told you not to call me that."

"Yeah dude what are you doing?" The spit girl questioned

"I just don't get how she outranks us and yet she can't be bothered to run a bit." Ben complains

"I told you. I've had a long and physically intense day." You explain steadily as you turned back around "In less than 24 hours, I traveled through time, killed a boardroom filled with extra-temporal corporate executives, was kidnapped, broke free, blew up part of a building, killed another 50 plus people, most of which by blowing them up and one of them-"

You paused for a moment and you flashed over towards Ben and phasing your hand through his chest and grabbing on to his heart tighter and tighter as you spoke,

"By wrapping my hand around his beating heart and pulling it out of his chest while watching the life drain from his eyes. I could go on about the fact that I fought a literal army, had my abilities try to rip me apart from the inside out and yet was still able to kick your ass, but I think this is enough."

"If you want to fight again then let's fight." Ben taunted

Rolling your eyes, you let go of his heart and pulled your hand from his chest. He obviously was a real piece of work in this timeline.

"Calm your man tits, Cuntacles. It's not much of a fight if I can kill you." You remarked, "Anyway, you're not worth much, let alone worth killing and you've got bigger problems to deal with."

"Oh yeah, like what?" Ben questioned

"Like the fact that your patchy gas station attendant mustache doesn't match with those sorority bitch booty shorts." You replied a smirk coming to your face "You should fix that."

You watched as Ben slowly reached up to touch his mustache while he looked down at the shorts he was wearing. Looking past him you could see the smiles and hear the snickers and stifled laughter coming from the other Sparrows. They obviously found your comments entertaining and maybe this was exactly the type of treatment this Ben needed. A good knock off that high horse he was riding. You stared at him blankly and waited for some type of snarky response but none came.

Ben's heart raced at the way you had threatened him and the way you spoke to him. All he could do was stare back at you unsure of what to do or how to respond. No one had ever threatened him in a way that mattered nor had anyone talked to him the way you just had. He had never met anyone before that put themselves on an equal footing to him. For everyone else, he was above them on his heroic pedestal, a god amongst other men. But you, it was as if you had just always been there on equal footing. He didn't like this feeling. You made his stomach feel uneasy by just being you. And with no snarky remark to come back with he let out an annoyed huff and turned off to walk towards his treadmill.

Seeing his retreat, a proud smile came to your face as you said,

"Alrighty then. Well, I'm off to take a shower. Enjoy your run y'all."

And with that, you turned off towards the bedroom hall of the house where the bathroom with the best water pressure was located. You felt a little bad for being so harsh towards Ben but just like with Grace, it wasn't the person you knew. He wasn't the boy you would read literature and write stories with, nor the ghost that was there to comfort you when you were all alone. You knew Ben could be snappy and rude with Klaus but from your view, he was never this level of such. But just because he looked like Ben didn't mean he was. This was an entirely different person you were going to treat him like a stranger because that's who he was to you, and you wouldn't let a stranger treat you the way he attempted to.

Making it to the bathroom, you stripped off your dirty clothes and threw them down the hamper shoot before hopping into the shower. You let the hot water run over you for a while taking in the feeling as you tried to push past the pain that came from seeing the faces of people you loved and knowing that they were gone. You couldn't tell if tears were falling from your eyes or if it was just the water rolling down your face but either way you could feel your chest clench from it all. You stood there silently for a while before reaching for the soap and finally washing off the dirt and dried blood that was left over from earlier events in the day. It was nice to feel clean, to wash all that stuff down the drain. All you had to do now was pick yourself up off the ground and try to start your life over again. For a third time.

Turning the water off, you stepped out of the shower and dried off before putting on a robe from the linen closet. It was at that point you realized the mistake you had made. You had thrown your dirty clothes down the laundry shoot out of habit and now you had no clothes to put on. Opening the bathroom door you looked out into the hall to see if anyone was there. Luckily enough you saw Sloane at the end of the hallway entering what you assumed to be her room. Trying to get her attention you called out to her,

"Sloane. Sloane!"

You watched as she turned around and looked towards you, a smile coming to her face as she approached the bathroom door.

"Hey (Y/N), what's up?" She asked politely

"Hey, so I threw my dirty clothes down the laundry shoot totally forgetting the fact that I did not bring any other clothes with me into the bathroom and I was just wondering if there were any clothes I could use." You asked

"Oh, yeah! You can just take from my closet." She responded cheerfully

"Are you sure?" You questioned

"Yeah! Come follow me." She said

You watched as she turned away and walked back towards her room and slowly but surely you followed her there. Entering the room, you saw posters and postcards of places around the world taped to the walls and multiple travel books littering her desk and dresser. You couldn't be sure but you were getting the feeling that she didn't want to be here. Walking over to the closet, Sloane opened it up and grabbed some things for herself before gesturing to all the clothes inside.

"Since you're done, I'm actually going to go take a shower now so don't worry about rushing to pick something. You have the full range of my closet and can take your time deciding!" She explained

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." You replied

And with that, Sloane gave you a quick nod and walked out of the room with some clothes in hand. Closing the door behind her, you walked over to her closet and started to look through what was available. Sifting through the options you saw a lot of florals, jeans, and deep V-cut long sleeve crop tops. Her closet was very light, romantic, and floaty and you could only assume that it was a reflection of who she was as a person. It took a few minutes to find pieces that you liked but you settled on one of her crop tops, a light blue one with a few pink flowers scattered over it that laced up in the front, and a pair of high-waisted jeans. Looking at yourself in the mirror you felt odd but in a good way. You felt more like yourself, like the person you were before heading to the 1960s. The 60s were alright but the modesty standards were annoying at best and infuriating at worst. No profanity, no "immodest" clothing, minimal affection. You hated it. It was nice to be back in the present day where the rules were laxer. You could speak your mind, dress how you wanted and kiss your boyfriend in public without it being a severe violation of the times. Unsure of what to do next given that your home wasn't really your home anymore, you decided to just chill out on your favorite spot, the ceiling. You had liked sitting on the ceiling ever since you figured out how to do so. It was calming and helped you think because no one could really get to you. Settling into your spot you heard the door to the room open and a voice say,

"Whoa. Didn't expect to see you up there."

Looking down at the door you saw Sloane standing there looking up at you surprised. She was in an outfit somewhat similar to yours but it made sense since you had picked from her closet.

"Oh sorry. I like sitting on the ceiling I feel like it gives me-" You started to explain yourself but were cut off

"A different view of the world?" Sloane questioned

You were taken back by her statement. She had pulled the words right out of your mouth. A small smile came to your face as you said quietly,

"Yeah."

You watched as slowly she raised herself up in the air before sitting on the ceiling across from you.

"Me too." She replied

Your small smile became wider as you looked at her impressed. This was so cool, you had never met anyone else who could do this as naturally as you could. And as much as you liked being on the ceiling to somewhat get away from people, there was something comforting about having someone else sit up there with you. It was like a camaraderie that you weren't expecting to find but nevertheless enjoyed.

"I've never met anyone else who could sit on the ceiling before." You commented

"Neither have I. I thought me and my gravity manipulation was the only way to do so until right now of course." Sloane stated, "How do you do it?"

"Oh, I just make myself light enough that I float to the ceiling and obviously it blocks me from going any higher so I just kind of sit there. Like a balloon." You explained

"Make yourself?" Sloane questioned

"Oh right. My power is also manipulation, but it's not gravitational. It's molecular. I can do a lot because I control the most basic part of existence." You elaborated

Sloane's eyes went wide with shock. Molecular manipulation? What a power! It sure explained how you were able to do so many things when they had fought you earlier and it proved everything that her dad said right. Although you hated being called so you truly were worthy of being in the spot that came before one.

"Oh my god, that's so cool. No wonder you have such versatile abilities." Sloane exclaimed, "How often did you have to train with your siblings to get to this level of control?"

Your head tilted to the side as you looked at her confused. What did she mean by train with your siblings? You were pretty sure that she had never met Dean and while Diego tended to ramble about you as his little sister that would only be one person not multiple.

"Um...I'm an only child." You corrected "I've trained alone for most of my life."

"Oh, you're not one of those Umbrellas?" She commented

Ah, that's what she had meant. She thought you were part of the Umbrella Academy. They all probably did but that wasn't entirely true. Trying to set the record straight you stated,

"I mean they're like family to me, but no. I was never part of the Umbrella Academy. I'm not a Hargreeves."

You looked off to the side for a moment as you thought about that statement. You weren't a Hargreeves but there was one way you could become one. A way that you would happily become one. A way in which you wanted to become one. Your thoughts caused a blush to rise to your face as you mumbled,

"Well not yet..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sloane asked

You turned your attention back to Sloane as you looked at her in shock and she looked at you with curiosity. You didn't realize you had spoken aloud but you didn't mind that she had heard them. There was something about Sloane that you liked. She seemed genuine and sweet and didn't make you feel weird like some of the other Sparrows did. Deciding to be honest you answered,

"Well one of them is my boyfriend."

"Which one?" Sloane inquired

Sloane had a guess at which one it was. Obviously, there was an option that made the most sense but she couldn't be sure. And for her own personal reasons she really wanted to be sure.

"The one who looks like he should be getting into an argument in a private school philosophy course." You joked

Sloane let out a quiet breath of relief as she heard your answer before laughing at your joke. She knew exactly which one you were referring to, which was the one she expected to be your boyfriend.

"Ah, the jumpy guy," Sloane stated jokingly

"Yeah, that's the one." You mused smiling "Five Hargreeves. Mon cœur, mon amour, ma raison d'être."

"I get it now. You're not a Hargreeves yet because you're not married to him." Sloane mentioned

"Yeah. But I'd like to be one day." You replied "He's my best friend. There's no one else I'd rather be with."

Sloane saw the smile on your face and the love in your eyes as you said those words. You seemed so happy, so smitten with your dear Five and she could only hope that she could find something similar. Sloane couldn't help that she was a hopeless romantic looking for her grand adventure in love but seeing you mention yours gave her a bit of hope.

"Aww. That's so romantic." Sloane cooed "What's he like?"

"He's sweet and caring and extremely protective of those he holds dear. He'd do anything for me and his family. He has done everything for us, and I absolutely love him." You gushed happily before adding "I just wish the rest of his siblings could recognize how much he loves them and how sweet he is."

Sloane furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. What did you mean by that? Trying to find the answer she asked,

"Why don't they?"

"Because they're stupid and don't listen. And when they don't listen, he gets frustrated, so they all think he's an asshole when all he's trying to do, all he's ever tried to do, is keep them safe." You complained

It sounded harsh but it was true. All Five ever wanted to do was to make sure that his family would live. He forced himself through 45 years of isolation knowing everyone he loved was dead, a shitty job working as an assassin for the commission as a means to get back to his family, and now twice he has tirelessly worked against fighting an apocalypse just to save them all. And yet even when he apologizes and asks for help they turn him away and make him out to be the bad guy. It frustrated you immensely because it seemed like you were the only one who realized this.

"That's unfortunate." Sloane mentioned "They can't all be bad though, right? The really tall one seemed kind of sweet..."

"Oh, Luther?" You asked

"Yeah..." Sloane said happily "Luther."

You could see the coy smile on her face and the blush that was rising to her cheeks. She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear as she looked off to the side almost as if she was reminiscing. You were by no means an expert when it came to love, you couldn't even tell your best friend had feelings for you until he explicitly shouted it. But you had seen enough dumb teen crushes over your time in school that you were able to pinpoint them with ease. And by the looks of it, Sloane was just the next victim of Cupid's arrow.

"Sloane," You questioned, "Do you have a crush on Luther?"

Sloane's eyes went wide with shock as her head snapped back to look at you. How could you know? Could it even be qualified as a crush? She had only met him earlier today. They spoke like twice and yet he seemed so sweet and gentle after he had accidentally hit her. His eyes were sweet and his smile was bright and just the thought of him made her stomach do flips. But no. No she didn't have a crush. Did she? No. Trying to deny it, Sloane stuttered out,

"What no- I mean- what are you- you're crazy-"

You were unmoved though. You stared at Sloane, unimpressed by her attempt at denial, and instead gave her a look that said "Really? You're going to tell me I'm wrong? ". Sloane looked back at you biting her bottom lip nervously. She had no clue how you saw through her so well but it was obvious she wasn't hiding anything from you. Letting out a sigh, she asked,

"Is it that obvious?"

"Just a little." You replied

Letting out another sigh, Sloane tried to pull herself together. Her crush on Luther was something she could deal with later as another thought came to her head.

"Wait. I have a question. If you were never part of their academy then why are you even with them now?"

"Do you have time for a story?" You asked

She looked at you curiously before nodding her head yes. And with that confirmation, you started off on the long story that was your life and the winding road that led you to the current moment. Meeting Five, becoming his friend, meeting the rest of the Hargreeves and becoming their friend, accidentally time traveling, starting over, apocalypse one, purposely time traveling, starting over again, apocalypse two, purposely time traveling again, and now starting over AGAIN. You explained everything to her and watched as slowly throughout your story her jaw dropped more and more. The past nine years of your life were a mess of short bursts of the most traumatic things you had ever experienced mixed with long bouts of relative stability and god did you hope after fending off the 1963 apocalypse you would have a very very long time of stability. After finishing the tale of your life you waited for Sloane to say something but all she could manage to get out was,

"Wow. That's...a lot."

"Sure is." You remarked "Now let me ask you a question. You give me the feeling that you want to leave, so why do you stay?"

Sloane blinked a couple of times as she snapped out from the trance of hearing one of the most back-and-forth stories she ever heard. She didn't know whether to try and comfort you through all your loss and pain or commend you for being so strong and staying hopeful for a good life. But seeing as you asked her a question the answer to whether she should do something about that story right now was probably no. Taking a moment to think, she mulled over the question you had asked. It wasn't that hard of an answer, she already knew what it was but she had never vocalized it to anyone before and was nervous about doing so.

"It's safe here." Sloane explained, "I have a roof over my head, the people that I know best, enough money to get anything I want all in exchange for being a Sparrow."

"But do you want to be a Sparrow?" You followed up

"I don't really know..." Sloane replied in a low voice looking out her bedroom window "This is all I've ever known."

And for the first time that day, you truly felt bad for the Sparrows. These people, just like the Umbrellas, were traumatized by Reginald Hargreeves. Once again he had failed as a father and ruined even more children. Except this time, they didn't have a person like you to fight back against him. They didn't have people to show them love and that there was more to the world. Wherever Reginald Hargreeves went misery followed and the Sparrows were, unfortunately, a long-term target of that misery, so much so that their whole identities were wrapped up in this academy. It hurt to see Sloane suffering in silence, stifled by the expectation of the Sparrow Academy and feeling like she couldn't leave both because you found her to be nice and liked her and because it was like looking at what the Umbrellas could've become if you were never there. Sure they had their issues but seeing what you were seeing now, you realized it could've been a whole lot worse. Reaching out you placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder but as you did so you heard a voice yell down the hall,

"Food's ready!"

"Thanks, Jayme! Be there soon!" Sloane yelled back

The two of you quietly got down from the ceiling. Sloane gracefully flipped through the air and back onto the floor while you let yourself drop from the ceiling, landing in a hero's pose on the floor before standing back up straight. Heading towards the door you open and take a step out of the room before looking back at Sloane behind you.

"Y'know Sloane, if you're always following someone else, all you'll ever see is the back of their head. Sometimes you need to step out of line to truly see what the world has to offer you." You suggested, "You deserve more than this because you are more than just this."

With that, you walked back off towards the kitchen. And as Sloane watched you walk away she thought about all the times her Dad had talked you up, praised you for how amazing you were, to her and her siblings throughout their lives. You were the vision of perfection, the exact person that he wanted them to be and they would have to work hard as a team to even compare to you. It motivated all of them because not only did they want to make their dad proud but they wanted you to like their abilities. And yet finally meeting, you were nothing like the way her dad had described. You weren't this larger-than-life entity, you were as you put it, a person. A lovely person who treated her just the same. It wasn't her powers or her ability to work with the Sparrows that you cared about like her father said you would. You cared about her not what she could do. You were nothing like she was expected to believe you were, but it was like a breath of fresh air that she didn't know she needed. There was a world outside the wall of the academy and you were her first glimpse into that. You were right, you weren't Number Zero, you weren't a ranking that they should aspire to be. You were a person just like her and you were the friend that she never expected to have. And as Sloane exited her door following you to the kitchen, the Hargreeves had just arrived at the destination they followed Klaus too.

Towering before them was an old building only identified by the name on the awning and the sign atop the building as Hotel Obsidian. The group looked around outside as Klaus led the way to the revolving doors using his arms to gesture his siblings in. One by one, each Hargreeves filed into the revolving door. The same side of the revolving door. Squeezing in together rather than splitting up they thudded into the side walls as they tried to push their way forward into the building.

Oh. Okay. Honestly? Okay." Allison complained, "We don't all need to be squeezed-"

But before she could finish her statement, the door had finally moved far enough that they all could shuffle into the building.

"There were two entrances, by the way." Five commented

Five looked around at the interior of the hotel. It was old and outdated. The people that scattered the lobby, none of whom looked like they belonged here, all seemed to stare at him and his siblings. Five could feel that there was something off about this hotel but he couldn't place it at the moment.

"Oh, Hotel Obsidian. I missed you, you slutty old dame." Klaus greeted before turning towards his siblings and explaining "Absorb her. Absorb her into your bosom. You know, 'cause back in her heyday, she played host to world leaders. Roosevelt, Gandhi, Stalin, Gorbachev, Castro, King Olaf of Norway, one of the Kim Jongs, Tito, Dalai Lama, Elvis, and not one but two Kardashians, allegedly."

Unlike her siblings, who had all the time in the world to listen to Klaus ramble on about whatever, Allison was on a mission to get back to her daughter. Not wanting to wait around for Klaus to finish his speech Allison walked off past him.

"Wouldn't that-- Where you going?" Klaus asked

"I gotta make a call." Allison stated

Letter her walk off, Klaus turned his attention back to his siblings as he continued,

"Nowadays, she's just a flophouse, a party house for those of us not looking to be judged by society's rules and norms."

"You mean, a place to hide?" Luther asked

"Exactly! It's perfect! And the best part of it is, she's gonna look after us, no questions asked. Never ever. Right?" Klaus answered

The group took another look around the place. All of them got the feeling that there was more to this place than what they could see, but it was also their only option at the moment of a place to stay.

"Come on." Klaus called walking towards the check-in

The remaining siblings looked at each other for confirmation that this was what they were doing, and with multiple shrugs of the shoulders, they decided to follow behind. The siblings followed Klaus over to the check-in desk and watched as he rang the bell sitting upon it. From behind the desk a man showed up to attend to them. He was older, with gray hair that was formally slicked back and he wore a green Hotel Obsidian uniform.

"Chet! Mon frère! It's so great to see you. I'd like my usual suite, por favor." Klaus exclaimed

"I've never seen you before." Chet replied confused

"See? Told you. Discreet." Klaus reminded

"We need some rooms, please." Vanya stated

"Super. And how will we be paying today?" Chet questioned placing a Cash Up Front sign on the desk

Seeing the sign, the siblings all looked at each other as they tapped at their pockets. Did any of them have cash to pay for the rooms?

"Ah," Luther said aloud

"Oh," Klaus mumbled

"Fine. Empty your pockets." Luther directed

Reaching into all of their pockets the siblings pulled out the items they could find and presented them. What they held out before them were some crumbled-up candy wrappers, exactly three peppermints, a handful of condoms and a knife.

"Come on. Something. Cоndоms?" Luther said before pushing Diego's hand back scolding "Put the knife away!"

"Can't exchange those for cash." Klaus lamented

"Why do I have a hairnet?" Luther commented before frustratedly taking off his watch and asking "Oh. All right. What does this get us?"

Handing over the watch he was wearing on his wrist, Chet takes it before picking up a jeweler's loupe and examining the watch. Giving a small nod Chet places the watch and the loupe down behind the desk before turning around and walking to a walk of hooks. Picking up two keys Chet turns back towards the group and places the keys on the desk saying,

"Two rooms. Mazel tov."

Everyone watches as Klaus grabs one set of keys while Allison, who had just returned, stepped in and grabbed the other saying,

"All right. Well, let's Brady Bunch this bitch."

Together the group walked away from the desk and towards the elevator to head to their rooms. As they walked though, Five knew that they would need to discuss this new reality there were in. Something about it right now felt wrong. Like something was missing and they needed to figure out what it was. Wanting them to put their heads together on what this new reality meant Five suggested,

"Uh, meet back in the bar in two hours so we can make a plan."

"I have a plan." Diego exclaimed running up the stairs in front of everyone "We attack the Sparrows, and we take back our house, and then we punch Dad a bit until he admits that we're better and he loves us more. Boom! Done!"

One by one the rest of the siblings ignored his statement and filed into the elevator. Frustrated at their lack of response Diego turned towards them and exclaimed once more,

"We're wasting time!"

"Relax. Don't sweat it, man." Klaus said pulling Diego into the elevator "Those shit birds are staying put for a while. I bet they're as wiped as we are."

"Really?" Diego asked

"Yeah. I mean, kicking our asses looked exhausting." Klaus commented

Relenting, Diego stepped into the elevator as they all headed upstairs to their rooms. Stepping out of the elevator the group split up with Luther, Diego, Klaus, and Five heading towards one room and Allison and Vanya heading towards the other. Getting to their room, Klaus stuck the key in the lock unlocking the door before stepping inside.

"Oh! See? It's paradise. High ceilings, sense of space. Aromatic." Klaus praised

"What the hell? Where's the bathroom?" Diego complained

"Down the hall, or..." Klaus said opening the room's window "Nature's bathroom!"

"You're disgusting." Diego commented

"But consistent," Klaus remarked

As Klaus unzipped his pants to piss out the window, Five closed the door to the room and looked around. It was pretty awful, but it was better than some of the motels he stayed in and definitely better than the apocalypse so it was acceptable accommodations. There was a set of bunk beds, a couch, and an extra bed to sleep on. Trying to claim one of the decent beds before anyone else could, Five made his way over towards the bunks, taking his jacket off and hanging on one of the posts as he suggested,

"Let's unpack. Settle in."

"Unpack? Unpack what? We don't own anything anymore." Luther reminded

"Yes, Luther. Isn't that liberating?" Five remarked as he laid down on the bottom bunk

"What are you, a commie?" Diego complained "If I wanted bunk beds and group showers, I would've stayed in the Texas nuthouse. At least they had free Jell-O..and Lila."

"Jell-O!" Klaus exclaimed as he climbed to the top bunk

Luther and Klaus both vigorously bounced up and down on their beds, the sounds of squeaking mattresses filling the room. Five could feel as the entire bedframe for the bunk beds shook above him and he wondered how bad it would be if the top bunk came crashing down on top of him, killing him instantly. At least then he wouldn't have to deal with these three, but especially Diego with his complaints. Sitting back up, Five stared down at Diego as he explained,

"Hey, Diego. I just spent the past 20 straight days saving the world. Twice. Can I get five minutes to relax before figuring all the new kinks out? Please and thank you."

Five saw as Diego turned away from him and went over to a nearby wall to bang his head on. If it was someone else Five may have stopped them since it could damage their brain but with Diego, it didn't really matter since there wasn't a brain in there to damage.

"And Dad said I'd never go to summer camp." Luther chuckled laying back on his bed "This is great."

"All right, I'm bored. Cocktail, anyone? Five?" Klaus asked

"I'll take a scotch if you have one." Five answered

Five laid back down on his bed and closed his eyes. He could hear the sounds of Klaus climbing down the latter at the foot of the bed and heading over to the mini-bar that was in the room. Five tried his best to relax but something kept him from fully doing so. There was this nagging in his brain that something was missing. Something that he needed to feel completely at peace and yet no matter how hard he tried to think about what it was, no answer came to him.

"Here you go buddy," Klaus said

Opening his eyes, Five saw Klaus holding out a glass of a golden-colored liquid to him. Sitting up once more, Five took the glass from him and downed what was most definitely scotch. At least he knew Klaus was reliable when it came to alcohol. Setting the empty glass down on the ground next to him, Five laid back down and closed his eyes once more. With his nerves calmed and his body starting to actually relax he could feel himself drifting off to sleep. As he did so though he could see an image form in his mind of something. No. Someone. But before he could figure it out though he drifted off to sleep. But while Five took a very needed nap, you were about to eat a meal with the Sparrows.

Walking back into the kitchen you saw as all the Sparrows minus Sloane were all sitting at the table together already. No food was on their plates though as if they were waiting for something, or more so someone, and you had a strong guess that someone was you. You looked about the place wondering if you should sit down or not when the one with bird powers extended a hand out towards one of the empty seats encouraging,

"Please sit down, join us."

Nodding your head you walked over to the table taking a seat at it, with Sloane right behind taking the seat to your side. You looked around at everyone for a moment before starting to grab food and load up your plate. And with you initiating, everyone else started to pick up food as well.

"So," Marcus began breaking the silence

You looked up from your plate and across the table at him as he continued,

"Given the circumstances of our first meeting we never got properly introduced. I'm Marcus, Number One."

You nodded your head at him. The way you were first introduced to each other wasn't quite conducive to a normal introduction. The only reason you knew his name was Marcus was because Alphonso had yelled it when trying to get that paperweight off him.

"I'm Ben. Number Two." Ben stated

For a moment your eyes went wide with surprise. Last you had known, Ben was number six, not two. Diego was two. But this new placement made sense given his new attitude. Being up so high but not being in charge gave him this air of superiority and the need to act like he should be in charge. It was kind of similar to how Diego used to be especially in contrast to Luther. But also like Diego, you could tell Ben was hiding his insecurity of not being good enough behind this tough and argumentative exterior. He needed to feel useful, important, wanted. It was something that every Hargreeves seemed to do.

"Huh." You said aloud "Interesting."

"Why?" Ben asked annoyed

"Oh, it's just that back in my timeline you were Number Six" You explained " That and also realizing being number two leads to having both superiority and inferiority complex."

"What'd you say to me?!" Ben shouted jumping up from his seat and slamming his hands on the table

"Sit down." You replied using your powers to force him back into his seat "No need to get your Bentacles in a twist."

You could hear as he mumbled something under his breath but you didn't know exactly what he said nor did you care to respond to it. You hated the ranking system, but if he was going to continue to act above you then you were going to continue to humble him and put him in his place beneath you. Until he started treating you with respect you were going to give back the same energy he put out. Turning to look at the group you asked,

Now, what about the rest of you?"

"I'm Fei. Number Three." Fei greeted

"My name's Alphonso. I'm Numero Cuatro." Alphonso followed

"Well you know me already," Sloane added cheerfully "but I'm Sloane. Number Five."

A small smile came to your face at her introduction. Yes, you did already know Sloane and she was very fun to be around from your experience so far. What you hadn't known was she was number five in this group. How interesting it was that something always seemed to draw you to befriend the number fives. There must've been something about them that you just really liked.

"Jayme. Six." Jayme stated flatly

"And that's Christopher, our Number Seven." Marcus added

You looked up at the floating cube across the table and you had a lot of questions about him. Was he one of you guys just born out of nowhere or was he like an extraterrestrial type thing? If he was born out of nowhere did he start out as a person or was he always a cube? If he was a cube was he a baby cube or was he always this size? If he was part of the sparrow academy did he have specific fans? Wait.....Did people want to fuck the cube? So many questions ran through your mind as you stared at him in silence and as much as you tried to keep them all to yourself one intrusive question managed to slip out.

"If I forced you to watch me play Minecraft would you cry?"

The rest of the table looked at you with confusion and concern. What did you mean by that and why would it make Christopher potentially cry if he had to watch you play it? Looking for some clarity Alphonso asked,

"What's Minecraft?"

"Oh right, you guys are old and sheltered. It's a computer game where one of the main mechanics is forcefully breaking cubes." You explained bluntly before changing the subject "Anyway it's nice to meet you all. As you know I'm (Y/N), but I gotta be honest with you guys. I don't care about your numbers."

The Sparrows, minus Sloane who had already learned this truth about you, looked at each other, their confusion only growing. With wide eyes they looked at each other for some type of clarity, only finding bewildered looks back. What did you mean you didn't care about their numbers? Their dad had told them for years that you were Number Zero and they had to work hard to prove their worth to you only to find out you hate being called Zero and you could care less about their numbers. Maybe they were misunderstanding. They had to be. Right?

"I'm sorry, what do you mean you don't care about our numbers?" Fei inquired

"Oh yeah, I don't know what you've been told about me but it's most likely wrong. I don't care about your number or your ranking. I really only want to know you as people." You elaborated "Regular people not your superhero work to be specific."

Slack-jawed expressions littered the faces around the table. You were nothing like their dad said you would be. Besides your power level of course. When he explained how powerful you could be, he was right about that, but so far everything else was wrong. You just outright stated you didn't care for the academy structure, the rankings, or any of the work they did to get to where they were today. If you weren't like how their dad explained you to be, then who were you really? Trying to ease the shock her siblings were going through Sloane asked,

"(Y/N), why don't you tell everyone a little about yourself first before we discuss ourselves?"

"Sure, what do you guys want to know?" You replied looking at the group

"What's your power?" Alphonso questioned

"Molecular manipulation. I can see, feel and control the molecules of myself and other things in the world." You explained "I typically would give a demonstration but...I don't think it's necessary today."

"So you just control everything?" Alphonso inquired intrigued

"I mean with a few limitations but yeah." You responded

"Limitations?" Fei asked, "Like what?"

"If something is broken I can't put it back together to the way it originally was and larger molecular disturbances cause me to have reactions ranging from nausea to physical damage depending on their severity." You answered, "Besides that everything is free game."

The Sparrows nodded at your explanation as you all ate your meals together. No wonder your abilities were so strong and versatile, you could really do whatever you wanted with them. With your admission that you did not like the academy structure, convincing you to join them would be a challenge but perhaps if they could get you to train with them they could be even better as an academy. You had an association with the Umbrellas though, so making any attempt at bringing you to their side could be complicated. Trying to figure out where you stood with them, Marcus questioned,

"What is your relation to the Umbrella Academy?"

Looking up from your meal you finished chewing your food and swallowed before replying,

"They were my original childhood friends."

"They're not your siblings?" Marcus followed up

Ah. Once again a Sparrow thought that you were related to the Umbrellas. Obviously, Sloane didn't get a chance to tell the rest of them, she was with you the whole time. But still having to explain to them that you were not a part of an academy was annoying. You thought just from the way you acted and carried yourself that might've been obvious but apparently not.

"Nope, I was an only child who had very loving parents and a comfortable non-superhero life." You explained before adding "They are my boyfriend's siblings though. But I myself am not a Hargreeves."

"Not yet!" Sloane exclaimed happily

A smile came to your face and a blush rose to your cheeks at her statement. You appreciated her excitement over your relationship. It was nice to have someone actively rooting for you and Five even though she most likely didn't know him at all and had only gotten to know you a little while ago. Playfully shoving her arm, you remarked,

"Sloane, shush."

"Which one's your boyfriend?" Fei asked

"The little jumpy guy! His name is Five!" Sloane exulted

"Sloane, I can talk about him myself." you teased, jokingly rolling your eyes

"Sorry, I'm just excited." Sloane replied, "He makes you happy and that makes me happy."

It was true that she was excited. Sloane was a hopeless romantic. She loved the concept of love itself, and just the thought of how happy you are with him, even if she barely knew the two of you, was enough to make her giddy.

"Oh, so he's not a perv, he's just in love." Jayme commented

"Huh?" You commented looking towards her "What's that supposed to mean."

"My spit makes people hallucinate their dreams. When I was fighting him earlier I used my spit against him and he started kissing the air. I thought he was a perv turns out he just really loves you." Jayme explained, "I did kick him down the stairs mid-kiss though."

"He'll be okay, he's very resilient." You quipped "Anyway, I kicked you down the stairs so we'll call it even. Right?"

You saw as a smirk came to Jayme's face. She didn't seem the most expressive type but neither did most of the Sparrows. But to see that bit of a smile felt like an accomplishment to you. There were regular people underneath the staunch superhero figures and you were starting to bring them out.

"Right." Jayme quipped back

"I'm sorry." Ben interjected, "YOU have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah, why?" You questioned before remarking sarcastically "Were you hoping I was single Benjamin?"

"No!" Ben shouted before stating "I just can't believe someone would actually want to date you with how bitchy you act."

"I could say the same thing about you." You taunted "I mean does your dick get hard from being a jackass or are you just this insufferable?"

The room was silent for a moment before the sound of laughter filled the air as all the Sparrows, besides Ben, reacted to your remark. Even Christopher emitted a garbled sound which you assumed to be a laugh. Ben's face scrunched up in anger and annoyance causing you to laugh at him like the rest of the Sparrows.

Ben could feel his hands shake in frustration and his heart picking up once more as he watched you laugh at him. How could you just mock him so easily? He didn't let his guard down around you so how come you pushed his buttons in a way no one else had? He hated it. But even so he kept his eyes locked on you. Maybe if he kept watching he could anticipate your next move towards him, right?

"Nice one." Alphonso praised sticking out his hand for a fist bump

Reaching back out you completed the fist bump, smirking at Ben as you took the obviously deserved praise. You received a scowl back which did nothing but make you laugh harder. He tried so hard to be this strong, intimidating individual when really he was kind of whiny. You didn't remember old Ben being like this but he did complain a lot about Five in his journal as a kid before the whole time travel incident happened, so maybe it was always in there. Either way, it was a little funny to subvert the image this Ben tried to paint of himself.

"Shut up!" Ben yelled at everyone

"Careful Benjamin, if you become too much of a prick you'll get too hard and your dick might explode." You commented

The Sparrows began to laugh harder as Ben angrily started shoving food down his throat, obviously unamused and frustrated by the way you were acting. It didn't matter how grumpy he was though since everyone else was having a good time. You knew that the Sparrows could be just like anyone else if you just gave them the chance. Like the Umbrellas, they were just a bunch of traumatized kids that just grew up in an even more rigid environment. Trying to get to know them more you asked,

"So what do you guys do for fun outside of all this Sparrow Academy stuff?"

"Working out mostly." Marcus answered

"I like trying new snacks and hanging out with Jayme." Alphonso responded

"Same as him." Jayme added

"I go rock climbing and bird watching a lot." Fei stated

So far everyone's interests seemed pretty normal and made sense for what you knew about them so far. Obviously, you weren't going to get to the bottom of their life stories and actually learn more about them over one dinner but bit by bit you would get past that trauma defense wall all Hargreeves seemed to build and help them to realize their dad sucked and there was more to life than this academy. Looking at the few who didn't answer your question, you waited for more responses. Ben turned his head away from you prompting Sloane to chime in

"I like to read about places around the world. Although occasionally I will sew myself some clothes."

"Well, you do an amazing job." You complimented "Your closet is gorgeous and I'm honored to be borrowing from it."

You then looked up towards Christopher who floated silently above the table, a soft blue light being emitted from inside of him, and asked,

"What about you Super Rubiks? Got any hobbies?"

You listened as Christopher spoke in his janky cube language telling you all about how he loves to go out to clubs and parties.

"Clubbing? Well, I'm sure you get all the ladies with your cubish appeal." You commented before adding "Y'know, I've been to a club once. Albeit illegally, but still."

The Sparrows stopped eating their meals as they looked towards you. What did you mean by that?

"Illegally? How?" Jayme asked

"I was underage." You explained, "I snuck me and my friends in for our one friend's 16th birthday two years ago."

"Wait. 16th? Two years ago?" Alphonso questioned, "How old are you?"

"Currently? Twenty-two, twenty-nine, and thirty-three. All at once." You answered

Once again you had confused them all greatly. How could you be three ages at once? And how did that factor into a 16th birthday celebration two years ago? Trying to get more clarity, Marcus inquired,

"Can you elaborate on that?"

"I sure can!" You exclaimed excitedly as you geared up to tell the tale of your life once more "Pack your plates with food now, cuz you're in for a hell of a ride."

And just like you had done with Sloane not too long ago, you ran the rest of the Sparrows through the story of the last decade of your life. The time travel, the people you lost, the people you gained, the people you loved, the apocalypses you fought, and of course every major event in between. You spared no expense to detail as you told them your life story and just like with Sloane their eyes became wider and their jaws slowly dropped more and more as you went on. What the fresh hell was your life? How were you in front of them so upbeat given everything you went through in the span of nine years? You were either the strongest person on this planet or there was something very wrong with you and given what they knew about you so far they could not decide which it was.

After they adjusted to the facts of your story though things moved on relatively well. Ben finished his plate and walked out of the room without a word to anyone while everyone else traded stories, chatting, laughing and having a good time. The Sparrows weren't that bad, at least to you. You knew the Hargreeves wouldn't feel the same. From what the Sparrows informed you they really kicked the Umbrellas' asses. They even showed you the video footage to prove it. And while you were not happy that they were beaten so intensely, it was understandable. While the Hagreeves loved each other deep down, getting them to work together was like trying to wrangle six toddlers in a McDonald's Play Place. So their defeat was not the biggest surprise. The past couldn't be changed now but maybe moving forward you could help all the daddy-issue-ridden Hargreeves children come together. As you all sat together you saw as Marcus looked towards a clock on the wall before standing up and stating,

"This has been great but I need to get going."

"Where?" Fei questioned

"I just have some personal business to take care of." Marcus responded bluntly before quickly leaving the room

That was odd but looking at the time and how dark it was outside you knew that you needed to leave as well. While it was nice to be back in the academy, it wasn't quite the home you were accustomed to. You typically lived alone with only a few people to sparingly interact with so having to share a space with so many was not an adjustment you wanted to make right now. Also, Five must be manic at this point with how many hours you had been separated. You wondered why he nor the other Umbrellas came back for you but with the possibility of getting another ass beating from the Sparrows, you could maybe understand. Standing up from the table you added,

"Yeah, I should get going too."

"No! You should stay, this is your home." Sloane explained grabbing your wrist "Your room is available to use, no one ever went in there."

"We weren't allowed to." Jayme commented

"While I appreciate the offer, and I can guarantee I'll be back soon, I've been through a lot today and could use a night or two on my own to decompress." You responded calmly "Also my boyfriend is probably freaking out that he doesn't know where I am."

With a small nod of her head to show her understanding Sloane stood up and added,

"At least let us provide you some amenities before you go."

"Of course, I'd appreciate it. Thank you." You replied

Walking from the kitchen, you and the leftover Sparrows made your way to the foyer. Picking up the duffle bag of your stuff that you had dropped off at the beginning of the day. Turning around you gave Jayme and Alphonso fist bumps goodbye and Christopher and Fei polite farewells. As you did so Sloane came down the stairs with a small bag in her hand.

"Here's a few more days of clothes to borrow, some bathroom amenities you might need, and a good chunk of cash to get you by until you decide to come back." Sloane explained holding the bag out "I'll- we'll be here for you though if you need us."

"Thank you, Sloane," You responded taking the bag from her

You placed the bag she gave you in your duffle bag before hugging her. You could feel the strength of her hold around you and as you looked at the group standing behind her you could see on Alphonso and Jayme's faces that they really didn't want you to go. You felt a little bad leaving them, who knew the last time they had an interaction with someone who treated them like a person rather than a celebrity, but you knew you had to go. For now. Separating from the hug, Sloane looked at you as she said,

"Promise you'll come back soon."

"I will." You responded

As you looked up you saw Ben at the top of the stairs looking down at you. He made no attempt to come down the stairs towards you nor said anything. Your eyes stayed locked on each other only for a moment before he went and turned away. And with that, you said your final goodbyes to the Sparrows as you headed out of the academy and to the one place in town you knew you would already have a spot to stay, Hotel Obsidian. What you did not know was that the Hargreeves were already there and finally settled in after a long day.

After Five awoke from his nap he felt mentally refreshed, although his body still ached from the tumble he took down the main foyer's staircase. He couldn't recall what had caused him to get so distracted that he was able to be kicked down the stairs though. He could feel the reasoning in the back of his mind but he just couldn't get it to come forward. As he climbed out of his bed he saw that the room was empty, with none of his brothers to be found. Walking about the place he noticed a pamphlet of services provided by the hotel on the coffee table. Picking it up, he read it, seeing what they had to offer. Barber, tailor, dry cleaning, salon, sauna. Five stopped reading the pamphlet when he got to sauna. A little time spent in a sauna didn't sound too bad, it could probably get rid of the soreness he felt and maybe even clear his mind up enough to let him remember what he was forgetting.

Changing out of his academy uniform and into a robe he was about to head to the sauna when something caught his eye in a nearby mirror. Around his neck, he saw a gold heart-shaped locket. He knew it was his, he knew it was a birthday gift when he was younger, and he knew it was important to him but he couldn't place who had given it to him. Opening the locket, he looked inside and saw a photo in one of the two available locket slots but he didn't know who it was. As he continued to look at it he could feel a strong dissonance in his mind. It was like someone was pounding on the wall of his psyche, muffledly screaming on the other side. Not getting any answers, Five took the necklace off and placed it in his robe pocket. He didn't want to get burned by wearing it in the sauna but he wanted to keep it with him since he had never let it out of his sight. And with nothing else to do Five headed to the sauna and stayed in there for a while. Sitting there he thought about their latest time troubles and thought over every single possibility of if this timeline was viable for their existence, but after much contemplation and debate with himself, he felt it was safe enough for them not to worry about it. And by the time he was ready to get out the steam had loosened his muscles and eased his joints, but unfortunately, it did nothing to quell the nagging in his brain that he was forgetting something very important. But no matter how much it bothered him, he wasn't going to let it ruin the fact that he could finally rest after so much running around.

Heading out of the sauna, he pulled his locket out from his pocket and placed it back around his neck once more. The metal was warm from the heat but not hot enough to feel like it was burning. After readjusting the chain so the clasp was in the back he made his way back to the bar area where he had told his siblings he would meet them to discuss. With a content smile on his face, Five approached the area and saw his three brothers sitting at a high-top table chowing down on some Chinese takeout. As Five walked over to the table to take a seat, Luther looked up from his food and asked confused,

"What's wrong? You look happy."

"I am plenty happy. Had a nap and a shvitz. What else does a man need?" Five remarked back taking a seat

"Brothers who don't eat like barn animals?" Klaus commented annoyed

Five looked over at Luther and Diego, both of who were hunched over their boxes of takeout noodles hanging from their mouths as they looked at him. Electing to ignore the unfortunate eating habits of his brothers, Five took the opportunity to tell them the positive conclusion he had come to.

"So I've been thinking through our little timeline snafu, and I'm pleased to report that in my professional, expert opinion, we are totally in the clear." Five stated

"Awesome!" Klaus exclaimed

"Huh! Great. So everything's totally fine?" Luther questioned

"More or less. I mean, there is one...small thing. It's nothing we can't manage." Five added

The excited expressions on his siblings' faces dropped as disappointment and annoyance set in. What could it be this time? What new issue did they now have to deal with because of god knows what cause? Klaus, Luther, and Diego waited for Five to explain what the small issue was only to be met by him quietly opening his takeout food. Forcing him to explain, Diego demanded,

"So spit it out, Boomer!"

"Fine, Diego, it's like this." Five said placing down his chopsticks and explaining "Dad didn't adopt us as babies, but those babies still existed here. We just grew up in different places with different people."

"So? Diego asked, his mouth stuffed with noodles

"So where are they now?" Five asked rhetorically before answering his own question "Odds are, we each have identical versions of ourselves walking around out there, living completely different lives."

As he listened, Luther's eyes got wider and wider. The wheels turned in his head for a moment before Luther loudly gasped and exclaimed,

"Our doppelgängers!"

"That's a made-up word." Klaus remarked

"No, no! I learned all about this in Texas. Tell him about the paranoid psychosis, Five." Luther encouraged

"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! I thought you said this wasn't a problem." Diego complained

"Okay, yes, technically, if you're near your doppel for long, you'll go insane." Five elaborated "So if you see your other self-"

"Kill them." Diego cut off

"Sleep with them." Klaus added

Five looked at his idiot brothers with confusion, annoyance, and disappointment all mixed together on his face. He could barely take a bite out of his food without his siblings saying something stupid. Their critical thinking skills had to be in the negatives given the fact that he said you'll go insane if you're near your doppel and they still both came up with ideas that involved getting close to them. Trying to course correct, Five reprimanded,

"Avoid them."

"What is wrong with you?" Luther criticized

"Come on. As if you wouldn't climb Luther Mountain." Klaus suggested

"Wait. How are we supposed to guarantee we don't cross paths with ourselves?" Diego questioned

"Easy. We're the Benetton ad of superheroes, born all around the world until Dad brought us here, which he no longer did." Five replied, "Doppels probably aren't even in the same time zone as us."

"That's true," Luther stated

"I don't know. Doesn't it seem kind of rude that Dad un-adopting us didn't change anything? I'm offended." Klaus remarked

"I never said that, Klaus." Five corrected

"Hold up. I'll be right back." Diego said placing his food down

The three other brothers watched as Diego left the table running off before turning back to their own food. But as Diego ran past the front desk down a side hall, you had just arrived at the hotel. You took a look at the place from the outside and it sure looked like it hadn't changed since it opened in the 60s. When Charlie came up north from Texas to stay with you in the city he would typically get himself a room at the Hotel Obsidian. It was Reginald's hotel and because Charlie's dad worked with Reggie and you were his close friend Charlie typically got to stay in the hotel for free. You even had a room reserved just for you on the nights you wanted to sleep in the hotel rather than the academy. This hotel was one of the places you are Charlie used to hang out doing dumb shit like racing luggage carts down the halls, throwing eggs off the roof at people below, or sneaking alcohol from the bars because Reggie wouldn't let you drink. You even taught Charlie the lyrics to Hotel California by The Eagles so every time you arrived you two could sing it and replace Hotel California with Hotel Obsidian. But this time you were, unfortunately, going to have to sing it alone. As you walked up to the doors of the hotel you sang softly to yourself,

"Welcome to the Hotel Obsidian. What a lovely place, what a lovely face. Plenty of room at the Hotel Obsidian. Any time of year, you can find her here."

You continued to sing the lyrics to yourself but just as you were about to enter one of the revolving doors you felt a burst of unexpected energy rush through you. Stumbling to the side you leaned yourself against the wall in between the two doors as you tried to catch your breath.

"What the fuck was that." You asked yourself as you looked about the place for the cause

It felt like you had just been punched in the gut and had the wind knocked out of you but you couldn't see anything that might have caused it and the energy that was once there was now completely gone so you couldn't even try to use your powers to decipher where it came from. Was something wrong? No, there couldn't be anything wrong. It was April 2nd, the apocalypse had passed. You had taken a lot of major hits today, maybe your powers were overreacting from the damage. Yeah, that was probably it. You just needed to rest, that was all. Standing back up straight you took one more deep breath before finally entering the hotel. Looking around the inside you could confirm the fact that this place had not changed since it opened. It was the exact same except older and dingier. You just hoped that your room or whatever room you got was at least tolerable. Walking up to the front desk you rang the bell only to be met with a familiar yet older face.

"Chet?" You questioned

"Miss (Y/N)? Is that you?" He asked surprised

"It sure is." You responded, "Do you still have my room?"

You watched as his surprise faded away rather quickly as he nodded and turned around towards the rack of keys hanging behind him. Grabbing one of the keys you watched as he smacked and blew on them a bit causing what seemed to be decades of dust to fly off of them. Well, at least you knew no one else had stayed in your room for a while. Turning back around he brought the key to the room back to you and placed it on top of the check-in desk as he announced,

"Here is the key to your room. As always floor five, room twenty-nine."

Grabbing the key off of the desk, you started to turn away as you said,

"Thanks, Chet. Good to see you again."

"One more thing Miss (Y/N)," Chet called out

Turning back around you watched as Chet pulled out a key and unlocked a cabinet behind the desk, pulling out some type of package and placing it on top of the desk. Reading the label you saw it had no return address but it was addressed to you and your room here at the hotel.

"This was delivered about 3 years ago for you. I was hesitant to keep it but did just in case a day like this arrived." Chet explained

At first you were unsure if you even wanted to take the box but then you noticed something written on the side. Taking a closer look at it, you saw the words Open Privately written on the side of the box in very familiar handwriting. Charlie's handwriting. Carefully grabbing the box you opened up your duffle bag and with the little amount of space left you managed to fit it in there.

"Thanks." You replied quietly

Slowly you began to walk away from the front desk and at that exact same time, Five explained to the brothers that were still left at the table the situation they were in.

"The point is, we did it. We saved the world. We stopped the apocalypse. And made it home safe in time for dinner." Five stated "So whatever Dad changed, whatever timeline we're in now we can handle it. We won."

Luther looked towards Klaus slightly shocked but just the relief of knowing that they were finally okay was enough to bring his spirits up. Lifting his beer, Luther cheered,

"We won."

"Yeah, all right! Let's enjoy this victory dinner then!" Klaus exclaimed raising his drink

Along with his brother's Five lifted his glass and the three of them cheered to the fact that the world was theirs for the taking. But right as their glasses clinked something in their minds shifted. Immediately, the mental block that had been looming in Five's kind since the park came tumbling down as a billion thoughts of you rushed to the front of his mind. You were the thing that his mind had been trying to remember. This whole time his head was screaming for you but for some reason, he couldn't bring you to the front of his mind. It was as if your memory was locked away. Five's glass slipped from his hand and shattered on the table as he began to frantically look around for you.

"(Y/N)! Where's (Y/N)? Why am I here? I should be looking for her!" Five yelled panicked "We all were supposed to go looking for her."

"Why didn't we?" Klaus asked concerned

"Yeah, how the hell did get here without her?" Luther questioned, "You and Diego should've been yelling at us the whole time."

"I don't know! The last thing I remember about her was when I was arguing with Allison about going to find her and then just now I remember her again." Five ranted

"You don't think Allison-" Klaus began to suggest

"No, she wouldn't do that..." Luther stated before questioning "Would she?"

"I don't know but I have to go find (Y/N)." Five stated as he got up from his seat

Five couldn't believe he had forgotten about you. How could he do so? You were always at the front of his mind. He was always thinking about you and yet he forgot you even existed. Could Allison have rumored him to forget you? Could she have rumored everyone? And if she did, why in the world would she do so? No. He didn't have time for the hypotheticals he needed to leave to find you. You could be injured. You could be dead. Oh god, he really hoped you weren't dead. He'd never forgive himself if you were. Five was just about ready to blink away when Klaus grabbed onto his shoulder and pointed past the bar into the lobby, exclaiming,

"No need your girlfriend found us. Look!"

Five's eyes went wide as he saw you and his heart began to race. Klaus was right, there you were, alive and seemingly unscathed. Not knowing quite how else to react he called out to you yelling,

"(Y/N)!" Hearing your name be called you stopped in your tracks and turned around only to spot what looked like your boyfriend across the room. Making your way over you saw that it was him and with that confirmation, you sped over to him before carefully dropping your bag and wrapping your arms around him. Five wrapped his arms back around you as he held you tightly, he was so relieved to have you here with him rather than wondering where you could be. Pulling back to look at you he asked still slightly worried,

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." You responded

As Five quickly looked over you and saw that you were fine he started to calm down, but then he noticed the faint scar of a cut on your cheek. Bringing his hand up to cup your cheek he gently ran his thumb over it as he questioned,

"What happened here?"

"It's just a small cut from the fight I had earlier with the Sparrows." You answered, "It's not a big deal."

You tried your best to downplay the severity of what happened. Granted the answer was pretty much nothing and you were fine just as you said, but you knew Five's mind must be racing with the worst-case scenarios given his repeated experience with worst-case scenarios. And you would be right, as Five worried about what kind of fight you could've had with them. How bad was it? Did they gang up on you? Did hurt you more than just that cut? Trying to get some answers Five questioned concerned,

"You fought them? Yourself?"

"Yeah, I did. But don't worry I almost killed them all." You explained

Five breathed out a slight sigh of relief. Of course, he was going to be worried about bad things happening to you, he had already experienced the worst that could happen, but he also knew that you were very capable of taking care of yourself and he trusted you when you said that you almost killed them. Like Allison had mentioned, you blew up a person when you were 13 and just hours ago you had helped him kill the board of directors. Five tried to relax a bit more, forget the laundry list of bad thoughts and settle into the fact that you were here and you were okay. But while Five was taking comfort in the fact that you had almost killed the Sparrows a spike of anxiety coursed through Luther at the thought.

"But you didn't right? You didn't kill any of them?" Luther questioned slightly panicked

Five and Klaus looked at Luther confused. Why did he care so much if they were alive? You however already knew why he would ask about that. Just as Sloane liked Luther, Luther liked Sloane too.

"No Luther, I didn't kill any of the Sparrows." You replied trying to ease his worry before switching the subject and saying "I heard you had your asses handed to you though. Actually, they showed me the security of the footage of your fight."

"Why would they show you the footage of us losing that fight?" Klaus questioned

"Ah, because they really like me." You answered simply "They gave me a tour of the house, medical attention, shower, food, offered for me to live in the house and Sloane even let me borrow these clothes from her closet."

You gestured to the outfit you were wearing allowing everyone to take a look at the fashionable clothes you selected from Sloane's wardrobe. While Luther's mind seemed to become preoccupied when you mentioned Sloane's name, and Klaus took a quick lookover it, Five couldn't help but stare. He didn't notice it when you first arrived because he was so worried about you, but holy shit did you look good in that outfit. His jaw dropped slightly and his eyes glazed over as he took it all in. The way the tight jeans hugged your figure, the extra skin showing on your midriff, and the lower than usual cut on the top you wore. It wasn't your usual outfit but he sure as hell didn't mind it. In fact, he liked it. He liked it A LOT. And one of his two brothers at the table could tell how much he liked it.

"Well, the crop top looks great on you. The color, the low v-cut, the corset lacing in the front. You look fantastic." Klaus complimented before pointedly asking "Right Five?"

Five said nothing though as he looked at the heart of your locket, the bottom point guiding his eyes like an arrow downwards. Not following his line of sight and only concerning yourself with the fact that Five had zoned out you called,

"Five?"

Slightly snapping out of it, Five's eyes looked up towards you as you caught the direction of where they came from. You wouldn't say anything about it, because it was nice that your boyfriend found you so appealing, but a small smirk came to your face as you watched him attempt to respond.

"Yeah, uh...amazing." He stuttered out before changing the subject asking "So um- they just let you have all those things?"

"Yeah, they did. Honestly, I'm sure you'll disagree but they're not that bad actually. They're just another group of traumatized superhero kids in adult bodies who haven't taken the time to deal with their pain and adjust to normal society." You explained "They're all pretty good to be around except for Not-Our-Ben who is a major dickhead. Although making fun of him and pissing him off is very amusing to me."

"Yeah, new Ben sucks." Klaus chimed in

"Hey, if they offered for you to stay at the house why are you here then?" Luther asked

"Well for one, I never lived with that many people before and I wasn't ready to share a space. Two, I could have my own room here. And three, I was worried about my darling Five and wanted a place to drop off my stuff before I went looking for him." You responded

The three Hargreeves boys present nodded their heads understanding your reasoning and as much as you didn't want to leave the Hargreeves, especially your boyfriend, you did want to head to your room to drop off your bag and open the mystery box from Charlie. Perhaps you could get Five to come along with you so you could have your cake and eat it too.

"So...I was about to head to my room to settle in." You mentioned to Five, "You can come if you want."

"Oh, I'm sure he'd love to come," Klaus remarked

Hearing his comment, Five's head immediately snapped towards Klaus as he looked at him with murder in his eyes. He was still pissed at Klaus getting in the way earlier and now he was pissed at Klaus' inappropriate comment and interference. He couldn't just say things like that and even if they were true, which they obviously weren't, it still wasn't right. But as Five thought more about Klaus's comment a problem began to arise and an embarrassed blush rose slightly to Five's face as he tried to keep his composure. Putting his hands in the pockets of his robe he grabbed at the inside fabric of the pockets pulling the robe slightly away from his body and putting more space between him and the fabric. He needed to get out of this situation.

"Oh well, I um- I uh- I have something I need to check on in my room." Five stuttered out

"Our room. All the guys are bunking together." Luther commented excitedly, "Just like summer camp!"

While it seemed that Luther was very happy to be bunking with all of his brothers, it seemed like a less than ideal situation for Five having to share with them. You didn't know what he needed to check on but if he had to do so, then he had to do so and you weren't going to stop him.

"Oh. Well if you want to stop by at any point you can just blink on over. Okay?" You explained, "It's floor five room twenty-nine."

"Okay." Five said quickly

Picking up your bag from the ground, you threw it over your shoulder before taking Five's face in your hands and placing a soft kiss to his lips. Five adored the feeling of lips against his and he would never deny a kiss from you, but at the same time you were making some things a little hard right now. Pulling out of the kiss, you gave him a smile before commenting,

"Y'know it's nice to see you out of that school uniform. Hopefully I'll see you later."

And with that you began to walk away, your hand gently sliding off his cheek tilting his head to follow you as you left. Five's eyes trailed you as you walked away and when you were out of sight he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. You were going to drive him insane. With no apocalypse to distract his mind, the hormones that he had kept at bay were starting to take over, had already taken over, and he needed to fix them.

Seeing his older brother face a young man's dilemma, Klaus couldn't help but smirk. After running around with back to back apocalypses, there was finally the time of day to notice his girlfriend and boy was it hilarious to see him notice. Seeing the way he continued to stare in your direction even though you had disappeared from sight Klaus decided to try to get a reaction out of him.

"Hey, Five. What color was (Y/N)'s shirt?" Klaus jokingly asked

Five looked back at Klaus. He didn't have time for his questions. Five was trying to get out of the bar area as quickly as possible. He closed his eyes for a moment trying to remember the color of your shirt but doing so proved less than helpful at the moment because different images came to his mind. Trying to get Klaus off his back, Five blurted out,

"Red."

"Blue." Klaus stated, a teasing smile on his face

Five's frustration began to build more and more at the situation. He didn't want to be here anymore. He couldn't be here anymore. He needed to go. Turning on his heel away from the table, Five stated firmly,

"I'm leaving. Don't follow me."

Quickly he walked away from his brothers, only stopping once as he made the rash decision of stealing a napkin dispenser of one of the nearby tables, before heading towards the elevator to go back to his room. Klaus let out a small laugh at the situation as he and Luther watched Five speed away.

"Aw man, he took that whole napkin dispenser with him." Luther commented, his mouth full of food "I can't believe you made him cry because he got the color of her shirt wrong."

Klaus looked over at his big dumb brother, with his wide eyes and noodles once again hanging from his mouth.

"Oh, Luther..." Klaus sighed patting his shoulder "Just eat your food, you barn animal."

____________________________________________________________________

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anonymityisfunwriter · 2 years ago

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Two Sides of The Same Coin - Chapter 34: "Breathe"

"Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out, nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out..."

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes

Sam POV

Sam doesn't have anything to say, he doesn't try to stop Bucky as he storms away from him, he just walks back into your room, slumping back down on your desk chair.

He's not sure how long he sits there, keeping himself from playing it all back, trying not to think about the moment he'd turned his back on you. But he does think about it, and his heart just keeps breaking, over and over:

After the incident with Wanda:

"Pick and choose your battles, Wilson."

"And if this is the battle I want to choose?" Sam retorts.

"It's not."

"Look at what just happened," Sam says, gesturing around the conference room where he and the rest of the team argued for hours about your place on the team. "I don't want her here. I'm not going to subject her to this. We'll give it a few more months and try again, but she's not safe here."

"She's not safe anywhere but here."

"Why?" Sam counters, eyeing Fury in suspicion. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I found this on the bottom of your car," Nick says, holding up a small tracking device.

Sam sucks in a breath, "Shit."

"My guess is someone's trying to figure out where the two of you live. They may or may not already know that." Sam remains silent, wordlessly weighing each option: continuing with the move or staying put. "The target on her back is only going to get bigger after today. An untrained rookie just took down the Scarlet Witch. That's going to spread like wildfire."

"I'm not going to force her to live in a place that she's clearly not welcome," Sam hisses, gesturing to the empty conference room.

"You don't have to, but SHIELD will."

"I don't give a rat's ass about what SHIELD wants. And let me remind you about that little mole problem SHIELD has, I don't trust half the people on this Compound right now. I can't keep an eye on her if we're here."

"Do you trust your own team?"

"After today's shit show? That's a very reluctant yes."

"They're not happy about this. SHIELD's adamant that you're moving too slowly. So concede on this one: move here, let her put some roots down, let them get attached to her. More eyes means more protection, more people watching that target on her back. More leverage to get her away from SHIELD."

"More people means more danger. You said it yourself, she's calling too much attention to herself."

"It was always going to happen. The question is: are you going to fight it or let it be on your own terms? Because I can tell you one thing, you let SHIELD make that decision for you and it's not going to be pretty."

Sam shakes his head. "Fine."

Or after your kidnapping:

"A kidnapping, Wilson?" Nick hisses from the other end of the line.

"From one of your SHIELD agents!" Sam accuses, speaking loudly enough to attract attention from the agents walking in the Compound. He sighs, dramatically lowering his voice, "I told you about that this mole issue was going to bite us in the ass. Rumlow never would've known about her if we stayed away."

"That's what you assume," Nick refutes.

"That's what I know."

Nick remains quiet for a moment before asking, "Is she alright?"

"Bruising to her face and jaw, but nothing's broken."

"And mentally?"

"I caught some of what he said. It wasn't good. My guess is he was trying to win her over by making SHIELD look bad, which isn't that hard to do nowadays."

"And did he?"

"No," Sam dejectedly whispers. "I talked to her, we're good."

"Good."

"I'm benching her," Sam quietly adds into the phone.

"How long?"

"As long as she needs."

Or after you saw those alternate timelines:

"Alternate timelines? Really?" Sam loudly scolds.

"It had to happen," Strange cryptically offers, looking unaffected by Sam's vitriol and Bucky's clenched fist.

"And if I just happen to kick your ass?" Bucky grimaces.

"Everyone stand down," Nick says as he strides into the room. Then he turns to Strange with a scowl, "Alternate timelines? Really?"

"As I've said, it had to happen this way."

"And if I just happen to kick your ass?" Nick threatens, echoing Bucky's sentiment from just moments ago.

"I think you're the one that needs to talk to her," Sam mutters to Fury.

He nods, walking the corridor to your room. He lightly taps the door, entering only moments later. After a few minutes he walks out of your room, as he closes the door behind him, he sees Sam standing in the hall waiting for him. "Let me guess, you want to keep her suspended from field work."

"Yes."

Nick sighs, shaking his head, "You're treading thin ice, Wilson."

"You put it however you want to put it, mentally unstable asset, volatile, whatever, but I'm not going to throw her back out there like that. She needs time. Right now, she needs to be a person, not an Avenger, and certainly not a SHIELD asset."

"Okay, I'll let them know."

And then the straw that broke the camel's back, when you were shot:

"I know. I know they're pissed," Sam says watching you through your hospital window, Nick Fury standing right next to him. You were out of the woods now and were content knowing that everything was out in the open between the three of you. As Sam watched you, you were sleeping soundly in your hospital bed, Bucky's head resting on your legs as he quietly snored.

"Not this time, it's more than that."

Sam scoffs, rolling his eyes. "So what? We're both suspended?"

"No," Fury definitively shakes his head.

"Then what? What more do they want?"

"They want to separate you. They want to recall and relocate her."

"What?" Sam angrily demands. "No way, not a chance in hell."

"I'm telling you as a courtesy. As soon as she's out of here, they're launching a full scale investigation and evaluation. But in my opinion, it looks like they've made up their mind."

"An investigation? Into what exactly?"

"They don't think you're fit to handle an asset this valuable."

"She's not an asset. She's a person for God's sake!"

"Do what you have to, Wilson. Prove them wrong. Make a case for yourself."

"Make a case when they've completely stacked the deck against us?"

"There's nothing that you nor I can say right now that's going to stop this from happening. Use this time wisely, you've got one shot to make a case for her and yourself. You better make it a hell of a case."

Sam nods once, his jaw tightly clenched.

"Nick," Sam interrupts, just as Nick is about to enter your room to wake you. "Don't say anything to her."

"You can't protect her from this," he cautions.

"I can. And I will."

"Your call, Wilson."

"Just let her be happy for now," he says, watching you and Bucky sleeping peacefully.

And then the grueling evaluation:

The first week was the easiest. Also the most tedious. It was easy to pretend like he was just busy, you nodded and thanked him. He offered a small hesitant smile, feeling so guilty for lying to you. But if he could protect you from this mess, he would. He started at the source, going straight to SHIELD and tried talking them out of this 'investigation'. He put on his best diplomatic smile and talked to all the stupid men on the council telling them that there was no need for this. That strategy failed catastrophically.

The second week, he rushed around the Compound to put together an infallible case. All your successes, all your triumphs. All the gleaming reports from the team. He didn't give you or Bucky a chance to catch him, it was too much pressure trying to pretend like everything was okay on top of pulling this all together.

The third week, Nick told him that it wasn't looking good. They'd shut him out of the investigations entirely, saying that he was too close to this one. Sam turned his phone off and focused on convincing a room full of men that had never even met you that you two were a good match, that the two of you had a strong bond that made you and the team all the better for it.

And the fourth and fifth week were the closest to hell that Sam could imagine.

"The incident with Ms. Maximoff was entirely preventable if only you hadn't insisted on keeping her away from the Avengers Compound."

"It was an unfortunate accident in which Wanda and Steve have both already taken full responsibility for."

"So the asset can only control herself in your presence?" the man accused.

"No-"

"If her performance is contingent upon one person being present than perhaps you're too close to act as a professional."

"They reconciled only days later," Sam tries to remind them.

"But only after both she and Ms. Maximoff were both injured, correct? Only after she was found in a intoxicated in a bar with yet another member of the Avengers?"

"What she does on her off time is none of your business," Sam vehemently refutes, trying his best to maintain his composure.

"It's all of our business."

"You left her unsupervised on the Avengers Compound when you claimed to know of the mole problem."

"She needed room to breath. She's an adult- I can't treat her like a prisoner. You do remember that she's not your prisoner, don't you?"

The man continued speaking over him, "And because of your egregious error in judgement, she was kidnapped. A SHIELD asset kidnapped right under your nose."

"By one of your SHIELD agents!"

"She was taken while under your supervision. It's as simple as that."

"You're only going to get her killed, Mr. Wilson. Her relationship to you, the Avengers, this very city, you're putting her life in her danger. It's in her best interest, for her safety. Do you understand?"

Sam swallows the knot in his throat. After two weeks of listening to them rake him over the coals, accosting him for every single mistake he'd made in the last year, all the times he'd put you in danger, he couldn't help but think they were right. You were in danger because of him- because of the Avengers. This was for the best. It was to keep you alive. He nods once, responding numbly, "I understand."

He came back to the Compound that night and felt broken. He failed- and you were going to pay the price because of it.

"Sam?" you asked, finally cornering him in the hallway when he wasn't paying attention. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he rasped, not quite meeting your eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing- just busy."

"Is it me and James? Is it weird for you?"

He smiled softly, softly squeezing your shoulder while still avoiding your eye line. "I just want you happy- safe. That's what matters to me. You should- just...hold onto happiness wherever you can get it because you never know when it's going to be over."

Your head twisted slightly, and he knows you probably don't understand where he's coming from. And you won't - not until you're gone. His jaw clenched tightly as he tried to focus on what you're saying to him. He swallowed the knot in his throat to keep a straight face as you place your hand on his shoulder, "Well, I miss you. It's not the same without you. I can't really be happy without you, you know."

His breath hitched as his heart clenched. He promptly turned on his heels and walked away. He'd let you have these last few weeks, let you enjoy this happiness without darkness looming over the horizon. He could give you that. All he could do was wait for that dreaded moment when you were cleared for travel.

And the sixth week, as much as he used to praise your resilience, he cursed it when he found out you were cleared for travel. It would be a few days before that information made it's way to SHIELD, and he stayed away, knowing exactly how this was going to play out. That entire week he sat in his room, stewing in guilt at not being able to protect you anymore.

"Sam!" Steve urgently calls from your doorway, breaking Sam out of his stupor. "We've been looking for you everywhere!"

He sighs deeply in resignation. "Go away, Steve."

“Sam, there’s a problem,” Steve says, his voice frantic.

“Then get someone else to help,” he mutters absently, not even looking at the super soldier.

"Sam, look at your phone. It's bad."

Sam huffs, turning on his phone over to look at the dozens of messages from Steve. It blood goes cold as he sees the urgent messages.

“Sam, it’s-” Sam barely hears your name leave Steve's lips as he shoots up of your chair and out of your room. “Get Bucky,” Sam calls over his shoulder, already running to the jet.

Next Chapter

"Two Sides Of The Same Coin" Chapter List AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

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ratticus-the-emperor · 4 months ago

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alright, but i must warm you, this is all jumbled and almost nonsensical because our document for the theory is incomplete, unorganized and unedited. so i'm sorry for that :( also some of these points may be reaching or outdated since they were written in the middle of the night and months ago when we were waiting for more chapters. here it is, though: FYODOR BSD THEORIES

First, that entire thing with Fyodor being crucified in chapter 113 and that one scene before he “dies” in the Meursault arc.

His last words being "Eli Eli, lama Sabachthani?" meaning “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?” which were also the words Jesus said as he died in Matthew and Mark. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Those terrifying words occur in two Gospels — Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34 — as Jesus is hanging on the cross near death.

Then Jesus was revived 3 days later and so did Fyodor. Since God is a canon thing, Jesus must be too. And during his time, magicky stuff wasn't common therefore we can assume abilities aren't too. And the bible is a book made by humans, it's not an actual historical accurate thing. like Jesus was LATE to the religion thing. What if it's just his ability but he preached about God so much and abilities weren't common then so people were just like "ah yes, you must be God's child. Only explanation." Because abilities are essentially a 'sin' It's a crime in Fyodor's eyes, so to rid the world of abilities is to rid the world of sin. maybe the desire started off as like a minor thing but then he shifted into Jesus and the desire became stronger. And Jesus never really had facial hair and the only accurate part about him in his depiction is his long hair, which Fyodor also has.

So in some versions of the bible, Judas actually hangs himself or he buys a field and his guts spill out. Sounds like a certain someone's ability? And his ability doesn't work like whoever killed him, it's whoever masterminded it. So technically Judas was the one that orchestrated the plot to kill Jesus... therefore... it wouldn't be the Roman soldier that turned into Fyodor but rather... Judas

In BSD Ch 115, we get this official art of Fyodor. There is Fukuzawa and Fukuchi to the side, but Fyodor is the focus and interestingly his coat encompasses numerous hands. Some hands on the coat look like they are praying, others are clasped together as if they are scheming, some others look like they are fighting for dominance or struggling to get out. The hands only appear on Fyodor's coat, which when we look back on it is not actually "his" coat, but Bram's coat. Whenever Fyodor subsumes his killer, that killer is absorbed and all that's left of the killer physically are their clothes, which Fyodor wears. But clothes are not the only things left, it seems their strong desires/wishes are also left in Fyodor's memories. Like Bram's vow to protect Aya has now been absorbed by Fyodor and he at least 'seems' intent on fulfilling the vow. So, over the course of centuries, Fyodor absorbed many people and their wishes/vows/desires. My hypothesis is that the hands on Fyodor's coat represent all the wishes/desires Fyodor absorbed, and those desires are fighting for dominance, wanting their wishes to be fulfilled. The reason they are represented on the coat is because their clothes are the only thing symbolically/physically left behind of them.

But also, different theory, what if Fyodor wasn't Fyodor anymore? From what we know with the Stormbringer and 55 minutes light novels, there are certain characters whose abilities stay alive and become a skill-derived life form (Gab, Shibusawa, Rimbraud, and Verlaine.) This happens when an ability reaches a certain energy output due to excessive use and eventually will develop it's own will and continue living even after its user died. Fyodor is probably old enough that he probably witnessed the Fall of Constantinople in 1453, which then led to the Night attack at Târgoviste in 1462 between sultan Mehmed II vs Prince Vlad III of Wallachia (Vlad the Impaler, aka Bram). And since Bram and Fyodor had met when they were imprisoned, (Bram was imprisoned by King Matthias according to Bram in 113). so knowing how old he is, estimating the amount of time since then (Especially since it doesn't take that much for abilities to become sentient, case in point Chuuya with corruption is almost there.) There is a very real possibility Fyodor is now just his ability. crime and punishment must be one hell of an ability then. but then why would it set out to destroy all abilities if it itself is one? There's still the wills of the people. Since his ability will still technically retain everything it did, just be a separate entity from the body. Like in 55 min, the effects of the ability remain the same despite sentience. But also, parallel to Jesus and his sacrifice to save the world. Jesus was still human so he probably didn't want to die but he had to for the sake of God's will to save the world of all sin. Exactly how Fyodor’s situation would be if he was just an ability. He's like them too but he needs to rid the world of sin because that's his purpose (This would be the will of the people that his ability had been carried on with, the accumulation.)

Adding on to him being just an ability, God may have seen that he would have eventually become an ability, so hear me out. What if Fyodor was created to do this, from what we know about abilities, based off dead apple and stormbringer, it is highly possible to self trigger a singularity. So what if God/The book I assume, could have forseen everything and had specifically gave Fyodor the ability Crime and Punishment because he knew it would overexert itself as it's an accumulation type ability and therefore would become a singularity. What if he was created just to be the messiah, LITERALLY JESUS. We know there is one God, the only unbegotten, only eternal, only without beginning, only true, who only has immortality. Before everlasting ages he begot his unique Son, through whom he made the ages and all things. He begot him…a perfect creature of God, but not as one of the creatures – an offspring. (Arius, Translation of Edward Rochie Hardy, Christology of the Later Fathers (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1954). Arius maintained that there were three separate divine beings – which he calls by the technical name “hypostases,” which now, in this context, simply means something like “essential beings” or “persons.” The Father alone has existed forever. The Son was begotten by God before the world was created. But that means that he “is neither eternal nor coeternal …with the Father.” God is above, beyond, and greater than all things, including Christ. This is consistent with the idea that Fyodor was Jesus and was simply created to be a singularity, in between godhood and humanity.

There are also parallels to Ame no Gozen and Fyodor and Jesus and Gabriel. but yk how Ame no Gozen can rip through space and time to see the past or future and Fyodor essentially found a loophole through this prophetic sword by using the time span that it can reach (essentially, if it reaches too far into the future the information can be manipulated by moving little things in the present and it doesn't necessarily mean that it will be true) which is how he literally bullshitted Fukuchi into killing everyone by using the war years later (that never existed). Now Islam Gabriel specifically, is a guide that gives revelations. He comes through prophetic traditions and sits beside a person in disguise and asks them to repeat riddles and verses without actually saying what it means in full. There was one instance where in the Sahih Muslim version, a prophet Īsā ibn Maryam (Jesus) had prophesied the words of Gabriel but the entire time he misinterpreted it and caused his own father's demise. Īsā had then went on to vindicate people for not abiding with Gabriel's Divine Decree by claiming that there's no such thing. So he started preaching about "the hour of the “Doom" and how no one knows more about it than him because he is the holy prophet and how Gabriel instructed him to do so. (This again, was a misinterpretation on his part.) there's also the Sahih al-Bukhārī version, but in that one Īsā doesn't misinterpret anything and delivers the correct message of a messiah being born.

Now this next one has to do with Dead Apple. So let's talk about that. Shibusawa’s ability, Draconia, creates a fog around him, which separates other ability users from their own ability and makes non-ability users disappear as long as the fog persists. When surrounded by this fog, ability users are confronted with this version of their ability that is split from themselves. If an ability user is to die within this fog, their ability will be added to Draconia’s collection room. There is decent evidence that it takes a while before the fog activates, so the effect isn’t immediate. This can be seen with Chuuya, who makes very short contact with the fog before he lifts up the building that he shoves in the Dragon’s mouth, but it’s seen even more clearly with Atsushi and Kyouka at the start of the movie. They spend a small while running around Yokohama wondering why everyone is gone before they’re finally confronted with their abilities. To some extent the separated abilities represent the inner conflict in an ability user. This can of course be clearly found in Atsushi and his shaky connection to the tiger, or in Kyouka who has Demon Snow which is the last remnant of her parents but also murdered them in front of her. But the clearest example of this in the movie is actually Kunikida, since there is a visible change between him and his ability. The notebook of Kunikida’s ability does not read its usual “理想” (ideals), but instead now says “妥協” (compromise). For Kunikida, a person so tied to his ideals, this version of his ability is an “abomination” (his words, not mine), and thus a source of inner conflict, since it represents a side of Kunikida that he carries within him.

“A copy of himself that didn’t follow ideals but made compromises was an abomination to Kunikida.”―Dead Apple (light novel)

If ability users manage to defeat their abilities in a physical fight, and then also accept these parts of themselves for what they represent, they will regain their ability. For example, Atsushi does not immediately regain his ability after defeating the tiger because he does not completely accept that the tiger represents that he has killed a person. For Atsushi, a person who connects his entire reason of living to saving other people, this is nearly irreconcilable. The only reason he probably is able to get over it in the end is that the person he killed was actively torturing and trying to kill him, so Atsushi had to kill to survive. Shibusawa, then, is dead. Chronologically, his murder is the earliest you see of him. Fyodor has told Shibusawa that Atsushi contains something that “guides the envy of all ability users”, so Shibusawa, who feels like he is missing something, seeks to take this by any means. This doesn’t work out too hot for him, and Atsushi kills him.

Next we'd have to talk about Singularities. So let’s do a lightning quick crash course on singularities before continuing, because you’re going to need that to understand what is happening in the next part. While Stormbringer was released after Dead Apple, I’m still going to be leaning heavily on and paraphrasing the information provided in that novel since it gives a really nice overview. Abilities are bound to rules, just like everything else. No organisms other than humans, such as plants or monkeys, can possess an ability. Each human can only have a single ability, and when they die the ability disappears with them. Finally, there is a limit to the strength of any such ability. But what if you wanted to go beyond that limit? What if you wanted to play with the natural laws of this world? What if you wanted to get really silly with it? Well, in that case, you can try your best at creating a singularity. Singularities are defined as “the interaction of multiple abilities that develops into a higher-level phenomenon different from the original abilities”. This mostly exhibits itself in a massive release of energy, but rarely there are semi-stable versions of them. Singularities aren’t bound to conventional rules, and can be much more powerful for that exact reason. As for creating singularities, there are two defined ways. The most reliable method is to have two contradicting abilities clash with each other. This leads to fun mental exercises, think “unstoppable force meets immovable object”, or, two ability users who can both see a few seconds into the future fighting to the death (sound familiar?). As a second method, an ability can also contradict itself, essentially causing the same result, but it’s a lot more finicky.

Atsushi’s tiger is actually referred to as “Byakko” half of the time. Now what is the difference between any good ol’ normal tiger and the Byakko, I hear you ask. The Byakko is much more than an ordinary tiger, since it is part of the 四神 (shijin/ shishin), the Four Guardians of the Four Compass Directions, which the Dragon is also a part of. What you essentially need to know from this is that the Byakko belongs to the same group of creatures as the Dragon, and that this solidifies Shibusawa’s status as Atsushi’s foil in this movie. Fyodor actually specifically tells us that the Dragon isn’t a singularity, but instead it’s “the true form of the chaos born from abilities”. (Note here that the Dead Apple light novel talks about Fyodor as if he is “reciting some Oracle”. Which was probably from Ame no Gozen)The tiger ability we see that got separated from Atsushi in the movie actually doesn’t follow the rules the other abilities do. It has a clearly defined face, and the red gem is not on its forehead. The gem found on the ability tiger is also red, which is in line with the other extracted abilities we see, but what gets extracted from Atsushi by Shibusawa is this blue cube. (The blue cube erases every ability that it comes in contact with not like Dazai who nullifies, literally erase.) So. Atsushi's ability is wonky, different and is literally the guide to the book.

Shibusawa has been led to Atsushi since he believed Atsushi would grant him something special, something he had been looking for all this time. “That which every ability user desires.” This is actually a familiar story! This is not the first time Fyodor has led someone to Atsushi with the premise that he would be able to lead them to what they were seeking. The first two seasons of the anime follow that specific idea, of Fitzgerald wanting Atsushi so he can lead him to the Book. (This is most likely because Fyodor wants other people to capture Atsushi since he believes Atsushi and Dazai's ability may create a singularity that could permanently erase all abilities from the world.)

Fyodor has been sending other people to Atsushi for the entire length of the series, but has never interacted with Atsushi himself. For someone who claims to be looking for the Book, and knows that Atsushi is somehow the guide to the Book, isn’t that a bit weird? Is there a reason Fyodor won’t interact with Atsushi himself? Fyodor knew about Atsushi way before he joined the ADA, so it’s not like Dazai is particularly standing in the way here.

Regardless, this factor that makes Atsushi so special may very well be this blue cube. How does the power to completely undo abilities lead to the Book? Who knows. We simply do not know enough about the Book or the origin of abilities to say more about this. Maybe the true power of the blue cube is something else entirely.

Fyodor’s iconic line when his ability shows up on screen: “Crime and Punishment are close friends.” Everything he says after that point is already referring to Shibusawa again, so this is the only clue he himself is willing to offer up. If we consider that the abilities that get split from their users represent inner conflict, all he is saying here is that he apparently has no inner conflict. Does he know something else about the world? Does he just know who he is? Honestly, I don’t think we’ll get anywhere talking about Fyodor’s mental state.

Then there is the “I am Crime”, spoken by Fyodor holding the skull, and “I am Punishment”, spoken by his ability holding the apple. This one is slightly more straightforward. The ability user being the crime, and the ability the punishment. The ability user is the crime and Fyodor's ability is the punishment.

Fyodor’s ability looks different compared to most other abilities. Most of the abilities shown in the movie have a blank face without any features, and have their gem on their forehead. The exception to that first part, interestingly enough, is Elise, Mori’s ability. This is most likely because she has physical form as an ability to begin with. His ability looks identical, so it was practically screaming in our face that his ability was just himself. Next to this, Fyodor’s epithet is “The Conjurer”, which would be in line with him being able to create another copy of himself. (Though I should add here that the Japanese seems to just refer to him as “魔神”, which can be any type of evil spirit. However, if I’m not mistaken, the “Conjurer” should be from the official translation)

Finally, there is the position of the gem on Fyodor’s ability. Nearly all other abilities have their gem on their forehead, but for some reason Fyodor’s ability has his on his hand. The only other ability that has its gem not on its forehead is… the Byakko. I don’t have an explanation for this one, but the weirdness should be pointed out, since it’s another way in which Fyodor’s ability deviates from the others.

Shibusawa turns into the dragon right? As a result of Shibusawa’s transformation, the fog turns red. If this red fog then covers the entire planet as Fyodor is hoping, and you were to watch it from space, it would look just like a poisonous red apple. The name of the movie therefore refers to this plan of using Shibusawa to rid the world of ability users.

This idea of poisonous apples in this movie comes from two different sources. From Fyodor’s side, it is referring to the apple Eve ate in the Bible, the original sin. For Fyodor, there is poetic irony in this: the world will end with the same sin as it began with. The crime is the punishment.

On Dazai’s side, it refers to Snow White, who bit the poison apple and died (temporarily). He already talks about this to Oda when he is sixteen, vaguely implying he knew all of this was coming as soon as he met Shibusawa during the Dragon Head Conflict. Since Fyodor was already around at that time and also had a hand in enabling Shibusawa originally, this may have been planned out this far in advance.

SINCE FYODOR'S ABILITY IS LITERALLY REVIVING. WHAT IF HE'S THE RED BIRD. THE PHOENIX. AND WHAT IF DAZAI IS THE TORTOISE. Adding on to Fyodor being pheonix and Dazai being tortoise, they have that same dynamic of being mirror images who are so similar but on opposing sides. Plus, it'll somewhat explain why Dazai and Atsushi both have white abilities for some reason unlike everyone else. Traditionally, the Phoenix would actually be paired with the Dragon, and together they would represent “conflict and wedded bliss” Which is actually pretty representative of what Fyodor and Shibusawa's relationship was. Not for sure abt the lore but the tortoise doesn't really have any connection to the other gods like the pheonix and dragon being paired up, the myths are conflicting each other though. On top of that, Fyodor is Russian, so would it make sense to tie Japanese mythology to him? But (over)thinking on this, I actually came to another interesting idea. Shibusawa originally didn’t have many dragon themes either. Instead, he was constantly compared to a Qilin. In some versions of the lore the White Tiger is replaced by the Qilin. So that would place Atsushi and Shibusawa in the exact same category instead of placing them on opposite sides. Which made me think of the first time we actually see anything Dragon related: Fyodor talking about a raging dragon while he infused Shibusawa’s skull with the ability crystal. If this is the case, is this all Fyodor’s doing again? Can Atsushi be manipulated in the same way under the right conditions? Like similar to how he manipulated Fukuchi using Ame no Gozen? Why do I keep coming up with new questions the longer I think on this?

A different theory on his ability. Honestly, there are so many hints scattered way back from Untold Origins until now about the large-scale world-building of Bungou Stray dogs that we can imagine all sorts of possibilities for a person like Fyodor. I’ll attempt to entertain one of them (this is not my only theory).

In my opinion, it is clear he has a power that allows him to “endure” for long periods in one shape or another. That could be resurrection, reincarnation, regeneration, life force related power..- I guess the easiest way to describe it is an ability that helps him stick around. Right now Fyodor appears immortal, but I want to theorize on different aspects of what we know about him. These are key elements I want to focus on for my theory - they helped me narrow down certain options. I feel like the solution to the puzzle is figuring out how one ability can allow him to kill people and remain alive for long periods of time.

1. Fyodor’s health, lifespan, and care for personal security:

From what we’ve been able to gather, it seems Fyodor was alive in the 15th century, based on certain references from the latest chapter. However, there is an interesting aspect to his character:

He cares very little for his physical safety - he gets intentionally captured all the time. We know this to be true from the time he got caught by PM, and there are theories he also ended up in Mersault partially because he wanted to be there. Within the latest chapter, he appears to have been captured by Bram’s people on purpose once more.

This isn’t the only time he gets in harm’s way - arguably the entirety of Dead Apple was him putting himself at risk.

Even so, while he MAY be immortal, and he puts himself in danger of losing his life, he is very sensitive about his health. In one databook, he mentions that his number 1 weakness is specifically his weak, sickly constitution.

It seems getting ill is so upsetting to him that even if he survives a difficult endeavor like getting drowned, it’s something he “isn’t able to afford”. Fyodor mentions this when he tries to drown Sigma and Dazai.

He is anemic and hates getting sick/needs to be very careful about his health, every cover is drawn to show his dark circles and pale skin, Fyodor even admires good complexions on other people because his isn’t that great according to databooks.

This is a huge part of his character, and whenever we see additional material about Fyodor, there is 50% chance it’s about his health issues (even for DA side material, the joke was he can’t do much on weekends because his doctor told him to be careful about his blood pressure, according to one bit).

What could this tell us about him? Fyodor constantly complains about getting ill: if he can regenerate ultra fast, this typically wouldn’t be a problem. He says getting sick would be “intolerable for him”. Ultimately, in a logical setting, an immune system largely allows a person to “regenerate” and many sickly people have a reduced capacity of doing this. Fyodor being able to regenerate super fast doesn’t make a ton of sense.

It is perhaps possible that Fyodor can regenerate large chunks of damage, but then his body enters a state of “suspension” which is why he’s sickly - however, this doesn’t fully track with the rest of what his abilities can do. I believe the biggest issue with Crime and Punishment is figuring out how the same ability that can kill others also allows him to live a long life (assuming this is all one ability).

To continue examining this aspect of Fyodor, the wounds on his hand from his tick of finger biting don’t seem to regenerate any faster than regular?

Asagiri is not overly consistent with any of this, just like most mangaka, and we don’t see Fyodor biting his hands much later down the line, but there are a couple of times when it seems he’s drawing him with wounds and scars on his arm.

I can remember like 2-3 other panels that show a lot of mini-scars, but manga artists tend to not be consistent with this level of detail. Hands are hard to draw af.

2. Bleeding

I am pretty sure Fyodor’s ability has to do with blood. I always theorized that he murders people by sacrificing some of his own blood, leading him to be anemic - there is very specific bleeding imagery whenever he kills people, and they usually die from bleeding out. I thought that was his “punishment” for committing a crime.

How would this work into immortality? In Christianity, life is heavily related to blood. You’ll hear phrases like “Blood of the covenant”, “blood of a lamb”, and “sacrificial blood”. Every person he kills “bleeds” out, yet he is anemic? Seems too random for it to be unrelated.

So, what do we know?

1) He was alive in one way or shape in the 15th century, those are his memories, implying he, as a soul, has existed for over 600 years. He is long-lived.

2) Fyodor appears to be relatively unconcerned with dying, but appears to be worried about getting sick?

3) Fyodor himself says that being ill is his biggest weakness. It’s canon he is anemic, and his health never gets better.

5) The wounds on his fingers don’t heal super fast, meaning he likely doesn’t have hyper regeneration. Being so sickly implies he doesn’t have pure regeneration as well (from a logical point of view, but I suppose in a fictional setting it could make sense depending on how sensitive Asagiri is to detail).

If he had regeneration, even to a baseline of his regular sickly self, he wouldn’t say getting sick was “intolerable” for him, in my opinion. Fyodor isn’t dramatic to complain about shit that doesn’t get to him - he’s alright with starvation and getting beaten. This sounds like he’s afraid of more permanent damage (as an immune-compromised person, I can relate)

If he got much sicker, he’d return to his old self eventually if he could regenerate, and he wouldn’t have to worry that much.

6) His ability is connected to blood - making others bleed, and he himself being anemic. Blood in Christianity is associated with life. Does he have some form of life force manipulation?

How does all of this come together?

He is old af - meaning there is something up there. How could the above connect with immortality? A super sickly immortal? Why is he so sickly if he could regenerate? How would the same power that helps him live long also help him kill people?

I think it’s possible that whatever he does with his abilities wears him out, and he has to change to another body eventually.

Possibilities:

1) Killing people makes him sacrifice blood, so he gets sicker, until he dies.

2) Whenever he dies, it takes him a while to come back, so he can’t afford to get sick and miss out on plans. However, if he has to die, it’s still not a big deal if the reward is worth it, especially since he can come back, and others cannot.

3) Purely dying and reviving is easier than just switching to another body from sickly decay. The guy seems to panic more about getting sick than getting killed.

Meaning he possibly has “periods” between resurrection/reincarnation/reviving. Perhaps he needs to die to revive into full health.

I guess it’s possible that Fyodor’s ability is related to life force itself? But how does that relate to the Crime and Punishment aspect?

Right now, I’d like to theorize that Fyodor’s ability is essentially to “possess” people like a demon. Stay with me here.

I’ll try to explain what I mean by this:

Fyodor can “possess” bodies. If he possesses them the right way, he takes over them and “rewrites them” to become him, including the physical appearance, which is why he looks the same throughout centuries. If he possesses them “wrongly”, they die. The “crime/sin” is taking the body of another person - this is a profound violation in many religious teachings. “Possession” is a sin.

Being able to possess bodies is one of the main trademarks of a Demon, which is how Fyodor is always nicknamed. Before he dies, he can change bodies.

I guess the easiest theory for me to imagine is that Fyodor is just a consciousness at this point, and he needs to “possess” bodies to keep living.

Every single body he possesses occasionally wears down (this is the “punishment” part of his power), and he needs to keep finding new ones to keep living. Killing people wears down his current body even faster. Every time Fyodor “possesses” a new person he completely returns to his “baseline” form, and that is why he has no “old” scars from the 15th century. I assume finding a good body to possess may be more difficult, so that is why he avoids wearing down the current body with his power.

Perhaps he starts killing his current host to possess another? And that is why he starts losing blood, making him anemic. The trick is that he doesn’t finish the process.

The reason Sigma was “brought into the world” was for Fyodor to have another “clean” body to possess. Asagiri even mentioned that Sigma was created in relation to specifically Fyodor’s color pattern.

Additionally, Asagiri told us to pay attention to “Chekhov’s gun” cliffhangers, and this is one of the elements of the story we never got a resolution for - why was Sigma brought into this world, and why was he specifically made in relation to Fyodor’s character? Having a body created by the Book, as a clean slate, may be perfect for Fyodor.

Perhaps he cannot fully recover anymore from his broken health, even when he “reforms” after possessing someone, and that is why getting sick is worse for him than death - every time he “possesses someone” and takes their body, his body recovers less and less.

Now, I want to elaborate on this.

Why did Crime and Punishment not attack Fyodor in the mist? I guess one possibility is that Fyodor is a sentient ability. An ability that keeps possessing people.

Fyodor’s ability won’t attack him, because it is the consciousness controlling the body. “Crime and Punishment are close acquaintances, the borders between us vanish”

His fake speech to Sigma might be based on “half-truths”

I have a theory that Fyodor’s power ultimately synthesized with his real personality and became one indistinguishable whole. “The borders between us vanish” could possibly be a reference of the border between him and his power disappearing and leaving him corrupted.

In my opinion, this would also explain why Fyodor wants to get rid of abilities - he wants to remove this curse from himself. While the ability may have conjoined with the real Fyodor, it still may be lost in how to act, and the real him continues being the root of all his desires.

Dostoevsky’s character was based on a chapter from Brother Karamazov where Vanya talks with the Devil - I feel like this is a huge hint to his character and the possible “possessive” part of his ability.

Did human Fyodor summon a devil and had it become his power? Are abilities demons? Honestly, there are so many ways to interpret what we’re seeing in BSD at the moment.

I find it interesting that Fyodor wanted to see Bram and his “evil”

I think Fyodor may be fascinated with the existence of “good” and “evil” as equals - and is possibly fascinated by why “someone like him” exists. Why would God create an ultimately “evil” ability? And what about others who were born with evil powers such as Bram? They are just like Fyodor, which is why he relates to him.

I feel like there is a lot of discussion to be had about the possible origins of abilities - the religious imagery, decay of angel themes, Nephilim theories, but I will leave this for another post. Also, I could write pages about Fyodor’s ability, backstory and how it may be influencing his world view.

I sort of have two theories in my head for this: Fyodor is a demon, or Fyodor is a human who was influenced by his “demonic” ability. (again, this is taken straight from the doc so this is very messy ahahaha-)

Kunikida Doppo is my newest hyperfixation. Thankyou for coming into my life but also now I cannot think of anything else. To whoever introduced me to this, why. why did you think this would be a good idea.

@ratticus-the-emperor this is YOUR fault (I'm kidding I love bsd thankyou)

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