#tw pda

[our-arospec-experience]

I'm like 100% aromantic and relatively open about it to almost anybody but my family. But now a friend of mine is in a romantic relationship and it weirds me out. Not the concept per se, they are of course free to do what they want, but seeing them and their partner together in a romantic way (holding hands, kissing, overall touching each other) just feels icky to me. Sometimes even the stories that they share of activities that they and their partner did together irks me. I've put a bit of thought into being romance-repulsed, but never really considered it, cause I'm mostly fine with romance in books, movies and other media. I can also mostly ignore couples on the street and sometimes even feel happy if I see a queer couple out and about. But the closer the romance is to me (i.e. friends or otherwise people in close physical vicinity) I get just a bad, weird feeling...

And I don't really know how to deal with this, cause I just feel like a villain if I bring up to my allo friends that they sometimes just irk me with their PDA. The one time I brought it up it wasn't really recieved to kindly and now I think now I'll just grow apart with those friends.

Mostly needed to get this of my chest, but any advice or experiences with being romance-repulsed are very appreciated <2

are there any romance repulsed arospecs out there with some advice?

[lilac-set]

I think pathological demand avoidance makes my tendency toward addiction infinitely worse tbh. And also makes addictions that much more unbearable. I just want some fucking control over my life and doing The Forbidden Thing feels like a good way to assert it. And then surprised pikachu face when my need for The Thing actually makes me feel less in control than i ever have. Surely if i just do it more i’ll feel in control again, right? Thats how this works, right? The pda in both directions makes me fucking hate being alive. Im ok though

[bitter-bloodbank]

i have hearts bouncing off my head rn i am awestruck at how wonderful my fp is. i’m so gay. goodnight tumblr goodnight mutuals i’m gonna sleep like a baby now because i am in love

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

Autisticality

[aftgficrec]

Hi, can you recommend fics with Andreil being discovered by the new foxes?

Here you go! -A

also see:

freshmen react to andreil 1 here, 2 here

freshmen react/pov outsider here

latest foxes react to andreil here

‘Me and You’ series here

‘midnight love,’ ‘flashes of intimacy ch 14 “devotion,”’ ‘Forever Is A Big Word,’ and ‘Master post for Fluent Freshman AU’ here

‘Allison asks how andreil got together’ here

‘AFTG/TFC minifics…Ch 21’ here

‘Teaching a caged bird to fly’ series here (particularly part 4)

you may also like:

Jack & Sheena being assholes here

Neil fights with Jack here

fics featuring the freshmen here

they match by Ani_Rygaard [Rated G, 2869 Words, Complete, 2021]

Baby Fox finding out about Andrew and Neil cause Neil called Andrew babe.

tw: alcohol, tw: homophobia

Never Have I Ever by hismiley16 [Rated T, 4332 Words, Complete, 2023]

The foxes induct the freshman with a post-preseason drinking game. Things get out of hand and Andrew shuts everybody up.

tw: alcohol, tw: homophobia

The Palmetto State Foxes Rules by Overherenow [Not Rated, 1536 Words, Complete, 2018]

A summary of rules for all freshmen for the Palmetto State foxes Exy team. And some upperclassmen who might forget.

The most beautiful thing ever by poly_pr1nce [Rated T, 1055 Words, Complete, 2018, Locked]

Kevin gets sent a clip from the last winter banquet, and when Allison sees it she agrees all the Foxes need to see it, especially the Freshmen/Cubs so they know what to expect when they piss Neil off or say stuff about Andrew

there's no way JOSTEN has a girlfriend by itadoriminyard [Rated G, 3246 Words, Complete, 2021]

“But it has to be her! Neil literally doesn’t spend time with anyone outside of this team. Like at all. Who could he possibly be dating? Someone on the team?” She asked sarcastically. She was met with silence. “Wait… are y’all serious?” Nicky was positively ecstatic at this turn of events. -- [The freshmen are determined to find Neil's secret girlfriend. Neil and Andrew are unwilling to aid their quest.]

The 5 times Neil wore Andrew's jersey and the 1 time Andrew wore Neil's by Hand_of_the_Alex [Rated T, 2489 Words, Complete, 2016]

Neil hadn’t meant to do it the first time, he just saw orange and white and slipped it on for his late night exy practices with Kevin. Kevin didn’t give any reaction further than an eye roll and a scoff before getting back to exy, so Neil finished the practise wearing Andrew’s jersey.

tw: homophobia, tw: nightmares 

five times christmas meant something by nomadicdeer (someonestolemycoffee) [Rated G, 2359 Words, Complete, 2017]

Neil Josten asks Andrew if they can celebrate Christmas. He decided he likes Christmas quite a bit.

[svejarph]

emma mackey gif pack

CLICK THE SOURCE LINK BELOW and you will find #238 245x150px gifs of Emma Mackey as Maeve Wiley in Sex Education Season 4 (2023)! These were created from scratch by Sveja. Do what you want with these, just don't repost/claim as your own, don't use them to play Emma, don't use in any smut/smut-based blogs, and like/reblog if using. If you like what I'm doing, feel free to commission me or donate to my ko-fi. Emma was around 27 during filming and is white (French, English, Irish).

tw: alcohol, drinking, funeral, hugging, kissing, pda

[valeria-fortnite]

From: cybersys-t-800

To: valeria-fortnite

Subject: Impostor

Re: Valeria, there is a woman on the island impersonating you. Permission to terminate.

[Y] [N]

Liiike, ya I guess 👌👌 assuming its not me ur talking abt lmfaoooo 😂🤣😂🤣😭 get that other b

I...

Am really getting fucking sick of these cruel JOKES.

Where's..where the fuck is Doom, or Noble--I need to be patched up, ugh--

[icelogged]

i need him on my lap rn </3

[sirenium]

people with PDA, you are not a horrible person for not voting this year. Voting is important, but it doesn't make you terrible for literally being unable to vote. I'm old enough to register, have been for a year, but haven't been able to bring myself to do it. Why? It's a demand. I don't realize how much my PDA affects me until it does, in which case I find myself wanting to scream and cry at the thought of doing something, especially something so important. This makes me feel like a hypocrite, a failure, a traitor to the multiple communities I'm a part of whose lives are at stake this year. But I'm not any of these fucking things, and neither are you.

I try to urge people who are in the space to vote to do so when I can, because that's something I can do. All that matters for me is that I do what I can, when I'm able. People seem to forget about those of us with PDA when telling those who are old enough to vote, and I'm frankly tired of feeling like I'm personally responsible for the downfall of America because of how my brain works. I'm not, and you're not either.

[faithfromanewperspective]

this probably makes sense with the very limited understanding anyone really has of the pda profile and how little general awareness we have of what are trauma-based symptoms but I’m so fucking sick of all the talk about neurodivergnce acceptance and autism acceptance that paint it as something that’s only ever mildly annoying and completely erases the fact that actually some of us can be violent, lash out when we’re stressed so far beyond our limit even despite and sometimes exacerbated by how hard we’re trying not to do that. not to hurt anyone. that sometimes people who do these things grow up and sometimes their carers aren’t equipped to take care of them and their own safety too. or they’re higher masking and grow up and become actually abusive to their partners and families because it’s the only vaguely socially acceptable way to release what’s going on in their brains and they’re around them all the time; they can’t keep up the mask that they think they have to be to be a good person this whole time

and I’m not saying abuse is ever okay or that anyone has to put up with it. but I am saying that if we want to prevent some worst case scenarios we so so badly need to equip people with knowledge and support of how our brains work and how to cope in a healthy way. because if the mask only first comes off in adulthood and you’re grown and big and scary by then and probably full of internalised shame about your coping strategies as a kid and trauma from masking or having parents with similar conditions who also didn’t know how to prevent their loved ones from bearing the brunt of their dysregulation—then you’re only ever villainised and ostracised from society and given no resources to recover and learn the skills you deserved to learn as a child. yes it’s not the job of anyone who was hurt or scared to help, but we need to have people who are qualified to do this because with appropriate accommodations, recovery from dysregulation is possible and being kind even while having tendencies towards violence that are managed by an appropriate support system is not only possible but absolutely necessary. instead right now it’s stigmatised and erased and villainised without ever questioning what can be behind it, leaving some of us to try and figure it out ourselves with absolutely no help and leaving our loved ones to carry much more than they should. and this is not okay.

[our-arospec-experience]

TW!! romantic relationship mention, aphobia mention, hints of traditionally affectionate behavior.

Tldr am i aro or am i just a dense mf with phenomenal flirting skills

Hello, i need help with understanding the definition of a... I don't even know. I'm struggling with understanding social cues at this point that I don't know if someone's flirting with me or not. However, I'm prone to reciprocating the energy of anyone who talks to me so... If someone hugs me out of spite I find no trouble in leaning my head against their shoulder. I'M THAT KIND OF PERSON. I HAVE NOOOO FREAKING BORDERS ON WHAT'S ROMANTIC, PLATONIC OR WHATEVER JSKSKSKSK

It's my first time to get into a romantic relationship. After we declared it romantic, we got into the talks and then she said stuff like "why are you so dense, don't you know doing (x) and (x) with me is already suspicious?? You haven't caught onto that??" so I thought that maybe, damn, I was being romantically affectionate, BEYOND MY KNOWLEDGE

I'm genuinely bothered that the other person is madly in love with me and I ain't. Apparently, the conclusion of all the talks we had is that, she thinks I'm a classical example of the dense trope. I don't even know if that's a compliment or an insult.

What I find bothersome is that she has fallen I love for me for the things that I do with her. And what I've done to her, I've done to numerous people without even getting romantic feelings. So, is it bad if I tell her that none of my actions are "romantically special" if I do them to everyone else?

I don't even know where in the aromantic spectrum I am, if I really am, or perhaps there's something wrong with me, but if I do think that there's something wrong with me, then I'm being aphobic too. Yes I need to strangle the inner aphobe in me

But to be honest I'm just so confused with everything. I don't know if I am doing something wrong by reciprocating affection to people without developing romantic feelings for them.

first of all, it is not at all wrong to reciprocate affection to people without developing romantic attraction. It is totally okay, but if they take it the wrong way, you might need to discuss it with them.

It’s not strange to not be able to tell if someone is flirting, whether you are allo or not. This has been proven in multiple scientific experiments.

In regards to your partner, all I can really say is talk to them? I know you’ve already talked, but I really don’t see another way you could resolve this. Perhaps tell them how you feel, and hopefully they can try to understand.

“is it bad if I tell her that none of my actions are "romantically special" if I do them to everyone else?”

I don’t think it would be bad to tell them that, if it is true, but only you can decide what is best for your relationship.

“Tldr am i aro or am i just a dense mf with phenomenal flirting skills”

As I said, it is normal to not know when people are flirting. As for if you are aro or not, I really don’t know. This is something you yourself will have to decide. Remember, no matter what you decide, you are valid, and no one should force you into identifying with a lab you don’t want to.

I hope you and your partner work something out :)

[im-not-here-im-dead]

my PDA saying i can’t do it or i will DIE

vs.

my OCD saying i have to do it or i will DIE

FIGHT !!!

[pda-culture-is]

PDA Culture Is... having to delete discord because the perceived demand of needing to respond to people was so debilating that it made you suicidal.

^

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autism and PDA Profile

[aftgficrec]

andreil being domestic in front of the foxes

Everyone is so surprised to see these two being soft! -A

latest foxes react asks

Foxes react to coupley Andreil here

Foxes react: andreil can’t hide it here

Foxes walk in on cute andreil here

more foxes react

andreil having incomprehensible convos here

andreil + pda here and andreil casual pda here

kandreil coming out to wymack/the foxes here

andreil secret marriage here and secret marriage/relationship here

‘It's a Home’ here 

‘I Found’ here

‘A Dad By Any Other Name’ and ‘small as a wish in a well’ here

‘you're here and you're you’ here 

‘it starts like this,’ ‘Love's an Endgame, but It's Not a Game,’ ‘hedge your bets,’ ‘can you keep a secret?,’ ‘The Bet,’ ‘We aim to win,’ ‘They Look Like The Stars,’ and the tumblr posts here

‘Andreil Massages Turned War…’ here

‘andrew minyard’s gossip sessions with david wymack’ here

‘What everyone doesn't see unless they look close enough.’ series: part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here

‘Secret Privacy’ here

‘simple romance,’ ‘call it what you want,’ ‘The Foxes Date Night,’ and ‘Andrew scares the waiter’ here

‘Consequences of Coaching’ here

‘they match’ and ‘baby, baby’ here

‘Better than a Blanket, Your Coat’ here

‘Surprise?’ here

and more

‘night by night’ here

‘you make my heart shake, bend & brake,’ ‘we'll be the last ones dancing…,’ and ‘you, forever, everyday.’ here 

‘Calling All My Lovelies,’ ‘for a heart beats best…,’ ‘Not boyfriends,’ and ‘Neil calling Andrew cute nicknames’ here

‘I'll See You in My Dreams’ and ‘Seeing Stars’ here

‘there's no way JOSTEN has a girlfriend,’ ‘every piece of you, it just fits perfectly,’ and ‘The One Where Everyone Finds Out’ here

‘Same old fresh air’ here 

‘never stood a chance’ and ‘You've Begun to Feel Like Home’ here

‘Happy Birthday, Neil.,’ ‘ i wanna hold your hand,’ and ‘Fuzzy Feelings’ here

‘The Road Trip’ here

‘Dare You,’ ‘never have i ever…,’ ‘Too Drunk,’ and ‘Here.’ here

‘i’ll crawl home to him’ here

‘Halloween couples costumes’ and ‘skirt and a crop top’ here

‘ANDREIL + #120’ and ‘neil gets his wisdom teeth taken out’ here

‘Hospitals and Anesthesia,’ ‘ I see who you are,’ ‘Ficlet Collection’ Ch 10 and ‘Going Green’ here

‘the one with the black sweater’ here

‘In Too Deep,’ ‘Surfin' U.S.A,’ ‘In a Lifeguard's Gaze,’ and ‘andreil + the beach’ here 

‘Me and You’ series here

‘Andreil- Piggy Back Rides’ here

‘The Love We Lost (then found)’ here (completed)

‘Sugar & Spice (and everything... nice?),’ ‘skylight,’ and ‘scarier things’ here

‘Hungover,’ ‘neil josten goes to the dentist,’ ‘mistakes were made (but it's okay),’ and ‘au where Neil and Katelyn work at a coffee shop’ here  

‘Twinyard Trouble’ and ‘the ‘which one is Andrew’ game’ here

‘Identity Theft,’ ‘don't be so cold,’ and ‘Step 1 in "How To Handle A Crisis"...’ here

pro teams/outsiders reacting to andreil

foxes react + pov outsider here

freshmen react/pov outsider here

andreil secret relationship/relationship reveal here

canon compliant, post canon Minyard-Josten rivalry here

details of Andreil being intimate go public here

andreil in a magazine here

‘Professor Neil’ series here

‘Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before’ here

you may also like

foxes revise opinion of Andrew here

super and long domestic andreil

Like no one does by trubenblack [Rated T, 3689 Words, Complete, 2023]

He should get up, he should go for a run but as soon as he looks at his husband he decides he would rather just stay here. Andrew’s face is calm, smooth. Not in the way it used to be, he looks younger, the wrinkles that are just beginning to form between his eyebrows and on his forehead smoothed. - A day in the life of two men that are simply in love thats literally it

Married To Annoy by chaoticas_hell [Not Rated, 6068 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew and Aaron's relationship was better, much better, than it had ever been before. They could talk to each other about anything, fights no longer threatened to destroy their relationship. It was very peaceful. And that was boring as hell. So Andrew plans to do something about it, something that would majorly piss off his dear brother. So Andrew decides to marry his long-term boyfriend, Neil Josten- the guy his brother can't stand.

Definitely Not Valentine's Day by sillyunicorn6154 [Rated T, 961 Words, Complete, 2023]

In which Neil and Andrew definitely don't celebrate Valentine's Day.

head case (what to do with you) by Major_816 [Not Rated, 4007 Words, Complete, 2023]

It bolsters him now. Because Andrew’s in the hospital and this medical fuck with an incompetency problem won’t let Neil in to see him. ~ Andrew gets hurt and Neil...handles it.

tw: major character injury, tw: blood/gore

midnight love by imaddictedtoreading [Not Rated, 2141 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew and Neil have been acting very couple-y lately. 5 times somebody witnesses a moment and one time Andrew clears everything up

Words Are Important Too by sensetia [Rated G, 1937 Words, Complete, 2021]

They all knew that Andrew and Neil loved each other. They’d seen it through subtle touches and passing glances throughout the years. But what they didn’t know is if the two boys said it to each other. Did they say ‘I love you’ ? Did they whisper sweet nothings in each others ears? Did they hold hands just for the sake of being close? Did they kiss when there was really no reason to? That’s what the foxes wanted to know.

tw: nightmares, tw: implied/referenced torture

flashes of intimacy by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, Collection, Complete, 2023]

NB: this series was recced in our romantic andreil/growing together ask

Chapter 1: death threats [506 Words] Andrew’s expression cracks, his baseline apathy shrinking under bright headlights. Neil hears Nicky calling his name, and then he’s being yanked up onto the curb, almost knocking Andrew over in the process. Chapter 14: "devotion" [493 Words] Neil sees Andrew across the dining hall first, but it doesn’t take long for Andrew’s eyes to meet his as he scans the room. Chapter 18: baby steps [443 Words] “Truth or dare, Neil?” 

Forever Is A Big Word by ADifferentTime [Rated G, 14154 Words, Complete, 2022]

Neil gets injured and ends up in the hospital which leads to a marriage proposal and a very quick courthouse wedding with all of their friends.

Pointless by maqicien [Not Rated, 3034 Words, Complete, 2022]

The Foxes have only ever known him as the vicious, vindictive Monster he’s portrayed himself as. Now, he’s a mystery no one knows how to solve; hard and violent for strangers, soft and gentle for this boy with the sharp smile. - 5 times the Foxes accidentally spied on Andrew and his secret boyfriend and the 1 time they actually get to meet him.

One day we'll reveal the truth by allyasavedtheday [Rated T, 3773 Words, Complete, 2019, locked]

“Is there a reason you don’t like Neil?” Bee asks him then and Aaron doesn’t understand how the fuck they got onto this when she’s supposed to be fixing him and Andrew. “I don’t trust him,” he says eventually. “All he’s done since he’s got here is cause trouble.”

TFC headcannons by Sugden_in_a_beanie [Not Rated, Collection, Updated 2018]

Chapter 1 Instagram  Chapter 11 Pancakes  Chapter 13 professional Exy after the match when they all line up and shake hands they take kids on with them too

Tumblr Drabbles by PumpkinspiceLou (CatyDreamDwyer) [Not Rated, Collection, Updated Jan 2022]

Chapter 4: Secret Husbands Neil gets injured during a game (set after everyone has graduated/gone pro)

these feelings, they keep running the red by orphan_account [Rated M, 3589 Words, Complete, 2020]

Neil Josten had never imagined getting married. He’d never been allowed to. He was meant to keep himself disconnected and alone, only in the company of his mother. He couldn’t let himself be distracted by the girl he kissed in eighth grade, sticky with lipgloss, let alone marriage. His mother had told him, endlessly, that love was nothing. It was worthless. Attraction was weakness, love was pain. or, 5 times Neil thinks about marriage, and 1 time he gets married.

tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Nap Time is Best Time by Willow_bird [Rated G, 2659 Words, Complete, 2021]

“Is he dead?” “Don’t be stupid, he’s clearly breathing.” “Yeah, okay, but like - you should go check.” --- The Foxes are chaos-gremlins who have to stick their noses into EVERYTHING. Neil loves them anyway

Photo Shoot by sheskyripa [Rated G, 2473 Words, Complete, 2021]

Neil was not shy, not at all. He had no problem with being placed in front of a camera and saying shit about everything he was thinking. But a photoshoot was completely different. A photoshoot would have an almost total focus on his appearance and Neil didn't like it at all. or, the Foxes have to do a photo shoot and Neil is not happy with it. Andrew helps.

tw: scars

NB: fanart by @linecrosser here 

AJMICKEY56's Fanfiction Palooza! by AJMICKEY56 [Rated G, Multifandom Collection, Complete, 2023]

Chapter 2: aaron asking andrew to tell neil to help him with math Chapter 82: aaron saying something homophobic…this time neil won't ignore it and chews aaron out

tw: homophobia

Chapter 86: Three times Andrew couldn't help but smile and one time he chose to. Chapter 100: foxes react to neil buying the maserati for andrew

Master post for Fluent Freshman AU by @jtl-fics [Tumblr Fic, 2023] The serialized adventures of a foreign language major freshman Fox who is unwittingly subjected to sappy Russian pet names and spicy flirting between Captain Neil and the scary goalie. 

Foxes Reacting to Andreil by @kanekicure [Tumblr, 2022]

foxes reacting to andreil being cute by @rainbow-femme [Tumblr, 2017]

foxes accepting and loving andreil fluff prompt fill by @whatmack [Tumblr, 2019]

the upperclassmen. the monsters. andreil. fandom fun post by @lemonboyjosten [Tumblr, 2023]

Neil: *sticks Andrew’s hand under his shirt* fandom fun post by @4-fox-sake-txtpost [Tumblr, 2019]

Art

mittens and stitches art by @greenchilypepper

anyway this is gay and transparent art by @rotenkehl

Cute lil AFTG tweet 😌art by @eislekaj on instagram

andrew minyard this is boyfriend behavior…  art by @02511213942

i'm sorry kevin... it's too early for this art by @02511213942

this bastard is kissing my brother art by @jayjuls

aftg meme redraw art by @s-hanna-h

he does that sometimes art by @jeannemaybedarc

[ensemblesongs]

No need to answer this but i love when youre professionsl i need to come drop by work and give you your linch box and a kiss on the cheek

Sending this ask is like dropping by my workplace and giving me my lunchbox and a kiss on the cheek (ノ_＜。) I miss you after you fell asleep during our date sleepyhead! I'm working right nowwwwww....