#tw mia recovery

[xskeletal-illusionsx]

Reasons I Continue to Recover: A Reminder for Self

🖤 Freedom from obsession

🖤 The ability to feel emotionally stable

🖤 Better cognitive and physical abilities

🖤 Feel better overall

🖤 Regained and strengthened my sense of agency

🖤 Able to feel genuinely good emotions

🖤 Able to connect with others, especially over recovery

🖤 Freedom from the cycle of behaviors

🖤 Ability to find real solutions to my problems

🖤 Freedom from fears

🖤 Freedom from a need for control

🖤 Hair doesn't fall out anymore, and it's healthy again

🖤 Skin isn't super dry

🖤 Nails don't break off from being super brittle

🖤 Healed bone density (no more breaking bones!!!)

🖤 No more ulcers in my mouth/throat

🖤 Teeth aren't super sensitive anymore

🖤 Able to heal and grow my relationship with my family

🖤 Able to enjoy food!!!

🖤 Freedom from the isolation that illness brings

🖤 Freedom from feeling weak and not empowered

🖤 Not passing out or feeling dizzy all the time

🖤 Much more stable mood

🖤 Less stressed out

🖤 Freedom from feeling forced to adhere to unrealistic beauty standards established by wh*te supr*ma*y, misogyny, and p*d*ph*l*a

🖤 Freedom from feeling like I should adhere to beauty standards for a gender I don't even identify with

🖤 Feeling more comfortable/assured of my gender identity regardless of "how I look"

🖤 Being alive and able to write this list, in hopes that maybe it'll reach someone else who needs to hear/see it

[recoveryposting]

a little while ago i was talking to a friend about my ed and i dont remember the context but she said to me "I LOVE CARBOHYDRATES!!!!! I LOVE CALORIES!!!!!!" and i stopped and stared at my phone because i had genuinely never heard anyone say they love calories. like, even implicitly theres this messaging that lower calorie = better and that we should enjoy of food despite the calories it contains. and i was just floored that this was the first time i had ever heard anything like that and it made me feel so comforted. anyway appreciate your friends they are some of the most important people in the world

[p3t1t-4gne4u]

sometimes i feel so lucky no one questions my 4n4 habits because i'm a guy but i'm also like no guys please notice my rapid weight loss and that i'm ⭐ving myself i need that recognition

[cockroachmotherfucker10]

Being fat, actually fat, with an eating disorder is fucking hell.

People assume you have BED, and if you actually do have BED people are so gross about it. If you have a restricting disorder people get concerned when you start eating more. People get concerned if you start to like yourself. People love to see you fucking miserable, and will completely ignore your misery in the same breath. It makes them feel good. They benefit at your expense through weight stigma.

So many physicians prescribe disordered eating to us. ED specialists in many places won’t even consider how EDs affect us. Our own community uses our bodies as inspiration to hurt themselves. Because nothing could be worse than looking like us, right? How are you supposed to love yourself when so many people actively don’t want you to?

To the fat person reading who needs to hear this, I give a shit if you recover. I give a shit that you are hurting. So many people don’t notice, so many don’t give a fuck, but I do. You deserve better. I want you to eat even if it means you gain weight. I want you to be happy in your body as it is. I want you to feel loved, I want you to feel seen.

If you are fat with BED, I see you. There is so much stigma and it is not your fault. Your weight isn’t “your fault”, you are sick. It’s not a moral failing. You deserve compassion, and the extent to which people project their own issues onto you is awful. You deserve to be comfortable in your skin, and your body is wonderful.

If you are fat with purging tendencies, or with restricting ones I see you too. We get praised for hurting ourselves, or no one notices. I see you. I’m sorry.

I wish so badly the world were more compassionate to you, but if no one else gives a shit, I do. Fight for recovery for me, even though I know that journey can be so, so lonely when you aren’t thin.

To those of you who have recovered, to those of you that may. You are worth it. You may be fat for the rest of your life, and that’s okay. It’s wonderful, your body is wonderful, and I see you and I’m proud of you. Sadly I know many of us recover alone, but I hope you know you aren’t. I’m rooting for you.

[moonlight-crazed]

hakuna my tatas or whatever

[bearydreamss]

Sobre mim:

História com o T.a: Tudo começou na infância, minha mãe me privava de comidas “normais” e fast food, salsicha? Só a vegetal, carne tbm, suco de caixinha, salgadinho, biscoito, bolacha, nunca tive e nem era por questão financeira, era por que a minha mãe não permitia por não serem alimentos saudáveis. Para vocês terem noção arroz branco, pão francês, frios, salgados de rua, tinham o msm peso de comer pizza e hambúrguer p mim pq ela só comprava alimentos integrais e com fibras, e eu passava MT vontade na infância vendo as outras criancinhas comendo salgados na escola, chocolate ( msm as barrinhas pequenas). Antes de sair para festinhas de aniversário minha mãe me entupia de comida, sempre saudável, para não comer “porcaria” nas festas, churros só fui comer pela 1 vez aos 11 anos e achei q iria morrer de tão mal que a minha mãe falava.

O que isso causou?

Óbvio, compulsão alimentar aos 12 anos; Como eu passei a infância toda sendo privada de comer comidas “normais” sempre que tinha alguma oportunidade eu comia ATÉ passar mal pq não sabia qual seria a próxima vez que eu comeria daquilo. Nunca vou esquecer do café da manhã que eu fazia na casa da minha vó quando ia passar as férias lá: 1 Pão francês, 2 fatias de pão de forma, fatia do pão de grau, fatia do pão caseiro dela, ( tudo com presunto, mortadela, mussarela, queijo branco e geleia), fatia de bolo puma, bolo caseiro dela e um copo de leite com café; tudo isso com 10 anos!

Já na escola quando consegui ter mais liberdade para me alimentar no ensino fundamental 2, comia sempre 2-3 salgados no período da manhã na escola, um chocolatinho e bebida. Chegando em casa sempre que tinha algo bom ( raro) me empanturrava daquilo e a noite quando meus pais saíam, sempre criava receitas hipercaloricas com queijo, macarrão, bacon, coxinha e que msm com gosto ruim eu comia, só pq estava deslumbrada com esse tanto de comida q me foi privada na infância. E quando saía eu PRECISAVA comer de tudo que tinha na mesa, isso dos meus 12 anos até os 15! Nisso, cheguei aos 98kg com 1,56 de altura ( obviamente era MEGA sedentária eu real odiava exercício, reclamava quando tinha que andar, falava ofegante e era o estereótipo de gorda engraçada preguiçosa cool)

Minha história com a Ana

A virada de chave para a mudança de transtorno veio aos 16 anos com 3 gatilhos:

1 - Pela primeira vez em um aniversário de uma amiga, eu notei que não estava bonita e não era por conta de roupa, fiquei 3h tentando achar alguma roupa q encaixasse e td ficava feio por conta do meu peso e corpo… foi a primeira vez q me enxerguei como gorda, aos 92kg; lembro de passar o aniversário td pensando nisso e prometendo a mim msm q pularia o almoço daquela semana e emagreceria!

2 - Um webnamoro em que o cara me mandava as fotos dele íntimas com a ex e me fizeram pensar o quanto o corpo dela era melhor ( ela era chubby, porém com uma distribuição de gordura boa) e o medo dele pedir fotos minhas e ver que eu era uma gorda.

3 - Querer ter o 3 ano do colegial perfeito! Com amigos beleza e um corpo perfeito!

Inicio da ana:

Eu queria perder só barriga no começo, manter a bunda, a coxa e o peito o típico padrão BR, só q como sou ansiosa, comecei cortando o café da manhã e o almoço, ou ent fazendo omad de farofa e kafta como eu não sabia nada de macros, só queria perder a barriga, aliás comecei a ouvir subliminais. Msm com as macros horríveis na época, emagreci e continuei.

Dps comecei a pensar que além de perder a barriga, não seria tão ruim assim perder perna e peito, eu pensava q era só emagrecer e dps recuperar na academia a perna e bunda - Daí comecei a comer saladas, cortar o carboidrato e aprender mais sobre macros, nf, cetose e tals, caminhava 6h por dia, ou ent fazia musculação e 30-60min de esteira, e queimava +600kcals… Só que ao longo dessa fase, perder perna e seios começou a se tornar algo atrativo para mim!

E agora, eu simplesmente quero ser bonespo e não mais thinspo! eu ODEIO meus peitos e quero pernas mais magras!

Como lido com meu t.a atualmente:

Foco em nf de +18h no mínimo, 24+ normalmente e as vezes 2 dias ou mais de nf, omad mais “volumosas” ou ent pequenas porções de comidas ao longo do dia para não me inchar, sempre até as 18h e como trabalho com atendimento ao cliente ( jovem aprendiz)

- Fico 6h em pé andando pela loja ( sou proibida de sentar e mtt menos tem algum lugar para isso

- Limpo prateleiras, tiro pó de produto por produto, subo em escada, puxo carrinho, levo a cesta dos clientes, NUNCA fico parada ( e nem dá rsrs)

- Carrego caixas de cream cheese

- Atendo clientes, arrumo as marmitas, ajudo na reposição e anoto validade

- Tudo isso em nf na maioria das vezes! Como tô no trabalho, além do café da manhã, consigo pula tb o almoço!

Meu corpo atualmente:

Peso inicial: 92kg - 2021

Peso atual: casa dos 43kg ( as vezes 43,2 - 43,5 e afins) - 2024

Imc: 16,5

Mf : 40kg

Bcs:

[iwannabeperfect55]

[dumbbitchdisaster]

I hate living in extremes

Its either starving or binging

Its either full recovery or full relapse

I can’t go in between, it feels like failing if I do

[cigarrorosapreto]

☣️⚠️: AVISO: COISAS NOJENTAS, E VOCE PODE SER UMA DELAS !

Viu, eu acho que você é uma delas, nojenta e nojenta.

( autocrítica )

[ediary2]

not mine found on pinterest

[xskeletal-illusionsx]

Of course my ass had a venti iced coffee and salty soup today when I have to wear a tight bodycon dress tomorrow. Why am I like this.

(I don't drink caffeine regularly anymore so when I do it makes me bloated ah and hold a fuck ton of extra water weight the next day)

[joolw3]

does anyone have or know of a group or a chat or something for girls to get together to keep each other accountable and share our habits? Please and thanks!!

[recoveryposting]

every time i start missing how my body looked when i had an ed i remember i was scared to eat TOAST 💀💀 like i deadass had NIGHTMARES about eating toast w butter and jam. are u hearing this i was LOSING MY SHIT over TOAST bro 😭😭😭 im not going back to that are you kidding

[nomixey]

postanowilam.

nie chce zyc ale nie potrafie sie zabic wiec nie bede jesc az wyladuje w szpitalu i wtedy zdacyduje czy skonczyc juz ostatecznie i w jaki sposob

w koncu w szpitalu dosc latwo to zrobic

wystarczy garsc tabletek albo cos podobnego

bylam na recovery niby sie udalo jem normalnie czesto niezdrowo nie licze kalorii i sie nie waze (boje sie wejsc na wage)

jednak mysli pozostaly te same caly czas chce schudnac i zaczac od nowa ed

zdalam sobie sprawe ze gdy bylam chora to byl najszczesliwszy czas w moim zyciu i to doslownie

bylam u psychiatry i dostalam leki ale nie dzialaja

chce znow poczuc te same szczescie gdy wtedy jak weszlam na wage i zobaczylam 40

teraz boje sie ze bedzie 5 z przodu i strace niedowage

ana kocham cie prosze daj mi szanse

jesli to przeczytal*s dziekuje

[kerawieiad]

breakfast!!! (≧∇≦)/ 🥞♡.°⑅

- 85 cals

wasnt very filling, the rice crispie treat was not worth 45 calories (－‸ლ)

[blatantlynotokay]

Toxic @na Work Environment

My job for my entire life has pretty much been to be a model. I started off as a runway model when I was a teenager. Then I went onto commercial and print for a while, which I still do. I was an atmosphere model for quite a bit and now I am a model bottle server in a high profile city. It would be a lie to say that my various professions and pressure to be thin and beautiful, has not affected my @na throughout my life. If anything I feel like it fuels it every day.

At my job pretty much everybody has a 3d. Well, none of us really talk about it blatantly other than a lot of the girls are on Ozempic even though they are 18-22 bmi who mostly just rave every day about how much weight they’re losing. It’s always so interesting. How fellow Anna‘s interact with each other when we know that we both have a 3d but never really talk about it.

One of my coworkers, we’ll call her Audrey, is always talking about how full she is and how much she ate in the day and how hungry she is and how she wants to order food but never actually orders food and none of us have ever seen her eat. Audrey is 5’8” and weighs 112 pounds. I know this because she’s told me before and I know she doesn’t eat and she knows that I don’t eat, but still every time we work together we talk about how much we’re craving certain foods or how we just ate certain foods. (Lie) I know it and she knows it but we never really talk about it. That’s all we talk about all shift is food. It’s nice to food fantasize with someone and I sure she feels it too.

In fact, I’ve worked at this job for almost 4 years and I honestly don’t think I’ve seen any of my coworkers eat. Not the model ones at least, the men always and my boss always eats, but she’s quite heavy. In fact, anytime that I ever go out with my coworkers, if we ever do go out for food. They never finish their food or if we go to a bar they’ll get a side of fries, but really only eat two or three and continue chain-smoking or chain vaping. It’s such an interesting thing to be in that environment, where everybody knows, but no one talks about it. I wish we could talk about it. I wish I could tell them how hungry I was. How little I ate that day I wish they would feel comfortable enough to tell me how they are. But we just talk about how much we love to Pad Thai and are definitely gonna order chicken wings as soon as we get home.

I am pro recovery. Block don’t report