#tw idfk anymore.

[iamamon123]

Warning, suicide wish, hallucinations, etc

Everything here is serious, I might sometimes joke around, but not anymore, I'm serious.

I have little shits in my vision ever since the last time I saw that bastard

They won't let me sleep from fucking paranoia and my autocannibalism issues are coming back

I've been trying so hard to just get off of many obsessions, but I just can't. I'm so tired, so fucking tired, I just want to end myself and bring an end to everything. My temper is getting out of hand, and I'm starting to lash out at people, even people I love.

I just hate it

Why do I have to be so sensitive all the time

I feel like I can't even move without putting on my binder because it's the only thing that makes me feel safe. I'm so scared of reaching out to people because every time I did before, they always brushed it off.

I don't want to sound "emo" or like an edgelord but it truly just feels like no one understands me.

I'm so tired of living, but I can't bring myself to actually end it because I always end up somehow wussing out. Why can no one take me seriously other then my own fucking brain.

I even named the voice of my brain Brian because I was so tired of just feeling so alone. Now I don't want to be with anyone, I hate being with people because they fucking annoy me and make me emotional. I feel like I'm unpredictable to myself because I don't know how to describe myself all because I react differently to so many things I can't even remember and it's confusing me.

I want to hug someone so bad that I'm even playing with my own hair and pretending that I'm laying in someone's lap, but I don't want to be with people. At this point, I don't even care if what I hug is a corpse, I already hug plushies, so there's no difference in dead bodies Instead.

They're both unmoving and not annoying, corpses just don't last long, and decay. They make more mess once their organs start failing, which happens like 12 hours after the death, and how am I even supposed to get corpses??

Honestly, I think maybe just a mute SO would be better, no sound and less annoying. I can also make them play with my hair, and they last longer.

I can't even bring myself to eat anymore. My stomach hurts so much. I just want to rip it out, I'm tired of having organs. They don't make me feel full. They keep me alive. I don't like that.

I'm just so tired of everything. My parents don't believe in psychiatrists, so every day I'm just asking myself what the heck is the problem with me because I have so many symptoms to so many things I've read about and i feel like I'm fucked up and i want to fix that but it doesn't let me, I just want to cry.

[static-scribblez]

oh. that's gore. that's gore of my comfort character

[nihilean]

i'm sorry, i love you, i'm sorry

tw/ self harm wounds

i wish i could make it easier, i'm sorry, i love you, i'm sorry

[cavity-collector]

i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

[hawaii-official]

I’m actually going to throw up what the fuck is wrong with me

[ace-of-clubs-and-diamonds]

Duality of man (artist)

[dalesramblingsblog]

I really don't like being so damn spiteful and miserable at the moment but it hurts to have one of my few moments of respite from the grinding hell of being chronically ill turn into a constant battle of "Oh boy I wonder when the next spot of misogyny will crop up."

I don't know man, maybe I've just become too mean. It could just be that I'm a miserable old shit who deserves to rot away in chronically ill squalor and drown in his own filth, but who bloody knows anymore.

[madgoat212]

why did this make me start crying

yoinked from this pintrest post

[applejongho]

thinking about dropping a class 🤪🤡

[ablednt]

NPD BPD combo will make you feel like a starving wild circus animal every time you remember other people exist

[badtimenightmarefaces]

i’m having a mental illness slushy meeting in my brain

i don’t they’re supposed to collide like that

[boredbyler]

I had a dream that I was at a talent show and there was a T. rex on stage. His assistant was a stegosaurus. He said "for my talent I will be making my assistant disappear" and he just gruesomely ate the stegosaurus onstage

[voxmilia]

HOLY SHIT, I'M LIKE 98% SURE I FOUND THE FUCKING BOOK

[kittycatsfordays]

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[jaybirdscoffee]

realized that it’s transphobic cis people and people like k*lvin g*rrah who think they’re so much better because they’re trying to make themselves “one of the good ones” that ruin gender discourse for me. they take a discussion and turn it into propaganda, set up what could be constructive to fail on purpose because they really don’t want to listen. they claim they’re open to talking, but it’s a trap. it’s never genuine, and they’ll look for any hole in the conversation to whip out some kind of gotcha moment. and then they cry and whine that they’re “cancelled.” fuck you. you really think you ate with that, didn’t you? you think your transphobia makes you special? you think your gatekeeping makes you a “victim of the woke mob,” because you’re just “telling the truth?” no, you’re just a little bitch who wants to be different. trust me, i fucking wish i had such a blessed, easy life that i had time and energy to debate gender-neutral language and products. but i don’t. i don’t, because i’m too busy worrying that i’ll have to figure out a way to flee to another country if donald trump wins the next US election. i’m too busy trying to live my life the way that i choose, and i’m too busy KEEPING MY FUCKING NOSE OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS. when will people wake up and realize that we’re all stuck in this shit together instead of pointing the finger at each other? when will people realize that there are infinitely bigger problems in this world? people are dying in palestine, in the congo, in so many other places right now. but sure, get on your tiktok or your twitter or your tumblr or whatever the fuck and bitch about gender neutral language and products and the definition of man and woman. because that’s so fucking important in the grand scheme of things. sure.

and if people weren’t doing this shit, then i wouldn’t be sitting here typing this out. i wouldn’t be expending my energy to do this. but since people can get on the internet and say transphobic shit and think they’re untouchable, then i can say my piece. i can say whatever the fuck i want, just like those people. because unfortunately, i care too much, and i can only take so much.

and another thing i can do is link resources to help palestine, congo, and sudan, because that’s something that really matters. that’s something worth talking about. so donate, share, do whatever is within your means.

tldr: fuck transphobes. free palestine. free congo. free sudan.

[wakingbreathlessly]

i’d rather kill myself than continue to live with my eating disorder which is a bit ironic considering it’s one of the reasons i haven’t commit suicide lol