#this is so fucking specific why the wave of grief for a strangers heartbreak

[madgoat212]

why did this make me start crying

yoinked from this pintrest post

[i-watched-deh-twice]

Dear Evan Hansen observations in way too much detail

 Observations

The Music Box Theater is really, really tiny, so it feels so intimate

There’s no pit, so the band is tucked away in the left corner, on this small platform attached to the ceiling. You can see it in the video bootleg, in the very end, during “Finale”

I separated the scenes by song, and sort of estimated where each scene ended. When I mention how a scene is blocked, it’s because it’s different from the video bootleg.

“Anybody Have A Map?”

Evan is speaks even more quickly now in the very beginning, when he’s writing his first letter and talking about Zoe, and his anxious way of speaking is more exaggerated

During my first time watching (not in the audio bootleg), Garrett Long (understudies Mrs. Murphy and Heidi) played Evan’s mother, Heidi. Rachel Bay Jones (the original) has a very specific, kind of dorky and sheepish and adorable way of speaking, and Garrett tried to imitate her but it was kind of awkward. She was quite awkward during her performance and very delayed during “Anybody Have A Map?”, but she improved SO MUCH in the second act, more on that later. I think it was maybe an off-day for her, because I listened to another audio bootleg and I only realized it was Garrett in the second act.

Zoe’s pins aren’t flat against her head, so if you’re sitting on the side, you can see her hair pushing out, and it looks a lot like pigtails from most angles

“Waving Through a Window”

When Jared says, “Very school-shooter chic,” and Connor says, “Oh, no, I’m laughing,” he doesn’t just walk, he kind of crouches and side-lunges towards Jared

When he needs to reach high notes, Evan brings his knee high, up to his chin (Ben Platt doesn’t need to do this, it’s new tic he invented for his character because it’s not in the video bootleg)

During “Waving Through a Window,” he watches the screens with everyone communicating with each other, it’s a lot of flashing of social media esp. Zoe Murphy’s Facebook profile

It’s really difficult to see the screens in the bootleg, but they really really helped convey the tone of each scene

They do thing a couple times, where they crescendo to a climax, then turn off all the sound and lights, then turn on individual spotlights on each character and light up the stage and flash all the screens wildly. It’s absolutely glorious and cruel and amazing

Connor’s pauses are longer. “You fell out of a tree? ……… Well, that’s just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. “I’ll sign it……….Do you have a sharpie?”

“For Forever”

The musical calls for Mrs. Murphy to cry quite often, and she’s good but not extraordinary. Maybe she really is crying, but it mostly seems like fake sobbing without any tears, which is quite distracting and noticeable. And she always puts her hand on her heart when crying.

Scene where the Murphys give Evan Connor’s “suicide note” is really improved, you can more feel the tension between the parents, like they hate each other but are trying really hard not to.

During the dinner scene, right before “For Forever,” Evan really takes Jared’s advice to heart, and his nodding is way more intense and exaggerated, which is why the audience laughs so hard

During the dinner scene (not part of my theater experience, just something I noticed with Instagram stories or something), I’m pretty sure they’re eating Birds Eye Garlic Chicken pasta, which is what I eat sometimes!!

During “For Forever,” Evan really quickly darts a glance at Zoe when he says “Like girls we wish would notice us but never do” and it’s dorky and hilarious

“Sincerely, Me”

When Evan is talking to someone online, he will stand on the right in a rectangle of light, and the other person will stand on the left in a rectangle of light, which is supposed to symbolize a phone screen, I think

“Sincerely, Me” is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. During the “smoking drugs, smoking crack, smoking pot” line, Connor exaggerates the differences more (furiously scratching during “crack” and lazily snapping during “pot.”) He and Evan do the same little dance, and their enthusiasm is really funny

“Requiem”

Zoe yells the line about Connor trying to punch through her door and threatening to kill her

Zoe wears very little makeup

During “Requiem,” her face is all twisted up instead of smiling a little, and you can feel her distress and hatred and disgust. There’s an intense echo that you can’t hear in the video bootleg, and it’s so dramatic and amazing, and it looks like she’s about to angry cry by the end

“If I Could Tell Her”

Zoe is so fragile during if “I Could Tell Her,” she’s just drinking in everything he’s telling her about her brother, but you can see her healing

They add in a little bass part near the end of “If I Could Tell Her,” and it just adds so much to the performance, you can’t really hear it in the video bootleg or the soundtrack

“Disappear”

Jared’s pin has Connor’s face on it

Evan interrupts and pushes Jared away when they’re telling the Murphys about the Connor Project, foreshadowing their future fallout

The scene where Evan puts on Connor’s tie is so dramatic and so well timed and perfect, with just a single G (music note) hanging in the air for a long time

“You Will Be Found”

When Evan drops the cards right before “You Will Be Found,” they change the scene where he falls down and gets up a lot. Evan is on the ground literally almost for a whole minute. Instead of just kneeling, he collapses down sitting, his arms propping him up, and shuffles around a lot, with his legs bent, one foot fully on the ground, and the other shaking really really hard. He does it for so long that you feel like it should be a little dumb and awkward, but it’s not, instead you just feel so so so heartbroken

During “You Will Be Found,” all the characters walk around looking at the screens and at all the messages that the people are leaving

Zoe’s line “ My dad’s, like, in total denial. He didn’t even cry at the funeral” right before “If I Could Tell Her” is really impactful, because during this song, Mr. Murphy hunches over and starts crying, and he hugs Mrs. Murphy

“Good For You”

When Evan and Zoe come in to the adults talking, Evan is holding and kissing Zoe’s hands, when Evan sees his mother, he releases her hand instantly and moves away

Garrett Long’s performance during the scene with all the parents was great (so was Rachel Bay Thompson’s, but that goes without saying). For both of their performances, you can feel how awkward they are in the presence of these really rich people, then how offended and ashamed they are at the offer of money and because it feels like the Murphys have adopted Evan. After Evan comes in, she’s so hurt and offended, and Evan is curled into a chair in shame, trying to protect himself from her anger

During the line “We are not strangers!” Mrs. Murphy does her hand on the heart, fake crying again, instead of making it more angry

Before “Good For You,” their yelling fight is more intense, esp the part about the pills and therapy and him needing to be fixed

Rachel Bay Jones’s voice during “Good For You” is really, really raspy, on purpose, and it’s really intense, and you can feel her hurt and anger

You can feel the pain of all three characters (Heidi, Alana, Jared), when they sing “Good For You,” and it’s crazy). When they sing in that one joined chord, it’s so good and dramatic

The bass was so insane, it was shaking the theater, and I think this is the only time that the drum set and a bass guitar are used, and it helped everyone feel the agony of the characters

“Words Fail”

After the “suicide note” goes viral, and before Evan confesses during “Words Fail,” the background singers sing “You Are Not Alone,” and it’s so angry and threatening, and the words that the online people are saying are so frightening and threatening to the Murphys, really listen

During the matinee, Evan didn’t cry until he started singing, but during the evening show, but he was already crying really hard by the time he interrupted the Murphys. He groans/cries out the first few lines of the song, already furiously crying, so it’s hard to understand

Ben Platt is a really gross crier. He spits everywhere and his mucus drips all over the stage (very visible in the lights), but nobody laughs because he’s so captivating

Zoe doesn’t cry at all except during “Words Fail,” her face crumples and it’s heartbreaking, the dad’s reaction makes it so awful, because he’s healing with this son he’s never had, then the Evan breaks his heart

It’s so sad because Evan wants this perfect family and he can’t have it, and he’s explaining why he lied. The Murphys leave him one by one (Zoe runs, then her mother follows, then the father walks close to Evan and turns away) and then Evan turns to the audience and tries to explain himself

So Big/So Small

Garrett Long became amazing in second act and “So Big/So Small” made me cry because Heidi just LOVES EVAN SO MUCH. This is why Rachel Bay Jones won that Tony, because you can feel her grief and love permeate the theater

Rachel Bay Jones is not raspy during this song, it’s just a smooth, slow, sad ballad to tell her son that she loves him

When she sings “Your mom isn’t going anywhere, your mom is staying right here. Your mom isn’t going anywhere, your mom is staying right here, no matter what,” the whole theater burst into tears

Finale

During the last song, all the screens cleared away and it was just big and open and the background was a deep blue color, and you could see just the trees and band, it was so beautiful

When he and Zoe are speaking, they keep moving closer to each other, until they’re able to touch, but they don’t

Evan’s tics are way lessened here, because it’s a year later

In the orchard, Zoe looks directly at the audience when she says “I wanted to be sure you saw this,” you think she means the orchard, but I think she also means she wants Evan to see that he helped the people in the audience feel less alone, and she wants the audience to see that even the most broken people can be put back together

His soliloquy was so beautiful, then all the characters come out, as silhouettes, and then they all move into the spotlight/sun, it’s beautiful, and then they fade into silhouettes, again, and he’s the only one in the sun again