#tw for mentions of self harm
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daily-tallyhall · 4 months ago
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those model ass cheeckbones 💀😭
source
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starlightseraph · 10 months ago
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house md will always be remebered as the most insane thing ever broadcast because of how unabashedly feral everyone involved was.
a short collection of things that happen on the show, just off the top of my head, not even scratching the surface:
- house shoots a random dead body in the morgue and then sticks him in an mri machine, which pulls the bullet out of the dead guy’s head and destroys the machine, costing the hospital millions
- foreman gets bitten by a person with rabies
- chase kills an african dictator
- cameron steals drugs from a patient after possibly getting hiv from said patient
- house induces a migraine and then takes a drug made by his arch nemesis (who he’s been stalking for 25 years) to get the drug taken off the market. he then takes lsd (in the hospital, in the middle of a case) to cure the migraine.
- chase goes into anaphylaxis after doing body shots
- house stops an elevator so he can perform a cavity (vaginal) search on a teenage heart transplant patient who’s in cardiorespiratory arrest
- they give a neurosurgeon mushrooms to cure his food poisoning, then they stick him in an operating room. the neurosurgeon strips in front of a health board assessor.
- kutner dies for gay marriage
- house sets an autopsy room on fire while trying to juggle flaming bottles
- house gets recruited by the cia
- taub gets held at gun point after diagnosing a stripper with skin cancer
- in almost every single episode, the team breaks into multiple houses
- house fakes terminal brain cancer so he can get drugs implanted directly into the pleasure centre of his brain
- house cons us immigration to get his fake wife a green card. he also uses his fake wife’s ukrainian food truck to spy on people
- house tries to get wilson, his closet case boybestfriend, into bed every few episodes. every other sentence out of house’s mouth is about wanting to rail wilson.
- taub has a kid with his ex-wife, after they divorce, at the same time he has a kid with his 25 yo side piece. the kids’ names are sophie and sophia.
- house and wilson have a bet on who can hide a chicken in the hospital the longest without anyone finding out
- house tries to kill himself like 6 times and always fails (insulin shock, overdoses, electrocution, jumping off a building, cutting, etc)
- house fakes his death to get out of a prison sentence after violating his parole so he can live out his bi love story with his gay best friend who has 5 months to live
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toughttt · 3 months ago
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"Ugh need" I say to an image of someone's cuts with a hospital room in the background
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confusedlosergirl · 2 months ago
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Trying to not be jealous of people who actually cut deep challenge
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wolfertinger666 · 5 months ago
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hey cool update because I feel it's important to say: been clean from SH for almost a year. it's been so long I actually feel nice. happy to be healing.
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the-stars-are-crying-again · 2 months ago
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how to k1ll yourself without disappointing anyone no borax no glue
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moonstruckme · 5 months ago
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could i req any marauder finding r’s sh scars and being loving about them? going through hell rn. it’s okay if u cant, love u mae
Wishing you all the best sweetheart, hope you're doing what you can to support yourself and let others around you support you too <33
cw: past self harm
modern au
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
“Did his wife cheat on him?”
“Why would you think that?” 
“I mean, if not, why does the mother-in-law hate her so much?” 
Remus shrugs, a secret smile playing on the edge of his mouth. His knuckles run over the skin of your shoulder idly as he keeps his eyes on the laptop screen. “Suppose you’ll have to wait and see.” 
You huff a laugh. “What’s the point of watching with someone who’s already seen it if you won’t tell me anything?” 
“It’s only ever really fun for the person who’s already seen it. I get to watch you go through the agonies I did.” 
“The agonies.” You roll your eyes, leaning deeper into his side. You could be a bit more convincing about holding this against him, but Remus’ bed is almost as comfortable as Remus himself, and you’ve found it impossible to pretend at being any less smitten with him than you really are. He sees right through you every time. “If you’d mentioned the agonies in your pitch, I might not have agreed to this.” 
“You’ll like it,” he promises, leaning back on you in turn, your shoulder pushing into his arm. 
The two of you are having the laziest of afternoons. What had started as a coffee date had turned into a trip to the bookstore across the street and then a walk in a park, and when it had gotten too warm out for the both of you Remus had invited you over for lunch and somehow you’ve ended up here, sitting on his bed in a borrowed pair of sweatpants while you watch a film on his laptop and he touches you like you’re a fascination he’d like to spend years studying. 
It’s an indolent, distracted sort of touching. Almost like he’s mapping you out in his subconscious, so that someday he’ll know you by instinct and memory but he’s in no hurry to get there. Like he’s got time. It’s also hypnotic. As captivating as Remus’ film selection is, you’re having a difficult time keeping up with the plot when your eyelids are so, so heavy. 
His knuckles stroke over your neck, the bare skin of your collarbone, down the slope of your shoulder. You don’t realize your shirt has slipped off the top of your arm until he does.
You freeze, Remus doesn’t. His fingers continue to graze lightly over the neat rows of scars, slowing as though losing momentum. You close your eyes. 
Emotion rises like a gag reflex in your throat. Apprehension and shame and a guilt you don’t quite understand. Like you’re wrong for ever having had the audacity to hurt, like this is something you’re doing to him, somehow, even though it’s long over and was only ever a misguided attempt at making yourself feel better. It’s nonsensical, and you feel it anyway. 
Remus is quiet for a long while. 
His touch moves back up your shoulder, to unmarred skin and safer territory. He asks, “You okay?” 
You swallow. “You mean, like, presently?”
“Yeah.” There’s the faintest hint of teasing in Remus’ voice. He sweeps his thumb over the back of your neck, an attempt at soothing you. “Or in general, whatever suits you.” 
“Yeah, I’m okay.” 
“I’m sorry if I overstepped just now. I didn’t know.”
“No…no, you’re alright. I wasn’t…” You rub your lips together, taking in what you hope is a subtle breath through your nose. “You’re fine.” 
“Does it bother you to think about them?” he asks. You can feel him looking at you, now, but you keep your eyes on the screen. It’s the only way for you to have this conversation. 
“Not really. It was just something I did for a while, you know?” 
“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, that makes sense.” 
You sit there for another quiet minute, you watching the movie and Remus watching you. The coil of apprehension in you starts to loosen. Your breaths come easier. 
“Sorry,” you say, not bothering to force lightness into your tone, “I didn’t mean to spring that on you. It’s not a secret, but it’s not something that tends to come up, like, casually.” 
“No, hey, you’re fine.” Remus sounds serious enough that you turn to look at him, and you find him with a hard notch between his brows, a surprised sort of frown on his lips. “If anyone sprung anything, it was me. You haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t imagine it’s an easy subject to broach.” 
“It’s not a big deal to me anymore.” You’re beginning to sound almost as if you’re pleading with him. 
“Alright.” 
“And it was a long time ago now.” 
“It’s okay, love.” 
“I just know people sometimes get freaked out, and I don’t want you to worry—” 
“Hey.” There’s a tenderness to Remus’ voice as he cuts you off. His honey-toned eyes are soft. “It’s okay. Can I hug you?” 
You nod mutely. The hand currently resting by your neck slips down to hug your ribs, and his other arm comes around your front, palming your bare upper arm. He rubs up and down comfortingly, seemingly mindless of the faint lines under his touch. 
Remus’ lips touch to your hair. When he pulls you tighter against him, it feels almost like you’re rocking. “You’re alright,” he murmurs, to you, to himself. “You’re alright.” 
“Sorry,” you whisper, self-conscious now of your nervous blithering and slightly stunned by the way he’s touching you. 
“For what, sweetheart? Don’t be sorry. If you want to talk about it—about anything—I will always want to hear it, but you don’t owe me any explanation, alright?” 
“Yeah.” Your lungs deflate a little, a relief you hadn’t known you needed. “Thanks.” 
“Don’t thank me, either.” Remus is teasing again, the press of his lips to your hair at once firm and fond. He lets you go but keeps his arm around your waist, dropping his head to rest on yours again. “You’re just fine, yeah?” 
“Yeah.” You snuggle into his side, somehow safer than before. “I’m good. I’ve been good.” 
His thumb sweeps over your side. “And you can tell me if you’re ever not. You’re perfect regardless.”  
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hardcoregayanalsegx · 6 months ago
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"Why would you do that to yourself" I'm trying my best to soothe the pain, trying to cradle it so that maybe just maybe it will stop crying out
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incognitopolls · 23 days ago
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Content warning: discussion of self harm
Obviously there's cases where it might not be, but the question is can it.
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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fallstaticexit · 21 days ago
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Prev / Next / Beginning
TW: Self Harm Mentioned/Implied
AN: next update our ladies will have a proper reunion but first tree farm tree farm! (Even though only the poor kids- and Bob- are the only ones super excited about it)
Transcript under the cut
Nancy Narrates: [All those years I’ve spent yearning, wanting, my whole self calling for her—and now she’s here]
Nancy Narrates: [This isn’t a dream. She’s here. I can feel the warmth in her cheek]
Nancy: I- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to- I don’t know why I did that. I shouldn’t have-
Vanessa: [laughs] It’s ok, Nancy! It’s good to see you too.
Vanessa: Wow, look at you. You’re all grown up, aren’t you?
Nancy: I- I-
Vanessa: Still filled to the brim with tears too.
Nancy: [softly] Sorry. I thought.. I thought I’d never see you again.
Vanessa: 16 years is a long time. I was worried you would have forgotten all about me.
Nancy: I could never forget you.
Vanessa: I’ve come all this way to see you.
Nancy: Have you really?
Vanessa: I know it’s been years, but I was hoping we could reconnect. I’m staying at the Fyres Hotel. Maybe we could have dinner there tonight. Catch up?
Nancy Narrates: [I had to physically restrain myself from saying yes. I realized, after all these years, I still would have followed her anywhere...but it can’t be this way. Not anymore..]
Nancy: [exhales] I can’t. I’m sorry. I had plans.
Vanessa: Ah! Well. I did pop in last minute. Maybe some other-
Nancy: You could come with me! I mean, If you like? We’re supposed to get a Christmas tree for the house; trying to set new traditions and what not.
Nancy: It’s silly but it’s important to them- my sons. I have two boys, by the way. I have to do this for them but- you’re here and I don’t know if I can see you leave again. God, am I rambling too much?
Vanessa: You want me to go tree shopping with you and your children?
Nancy: [blushes] Will you?
Vanessa: Lead the way.
-
Malcolm: What’s taking that lady so long!
Jonathan: Should we try and call mom again?
Geoffrey: [hums noncommittally]
Malcolm: He’s not even listening!
Bob: Hellooo? Earth to Geoffrey?
Bob: Iggy say, ‘what’s eatin’ ya, Uncle G?’
Iggy: [coos]
Geoffrey: Heh, sorry! Sorry. I guess I got alot on my mind right now.
Eliza: Is everything ok?
Geoffrey: Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah- well...I guess I’m thinking about Nance?
Eliza: What’s wrong with Nancy?
Geoffrey: I’ve been thinking about what happened on our anniversary trip.
Bob: Yeah? What was it?
Malcolm: Mommy’s here!! Mommy’s here!!
Malcolm: Er, who’s that with my mommy?
Bob: Well, I’ll be damned! Talk about a throwback!
Eliza: [whistles] Oh, wow! Who is that? Is she a model?: Well, I’ll be damned! Talk about a throwback!
Geoffrey: Vanessa Villareal?
Nancy: These are my sons, Jonathan and Malcolm.
Vanessa: Oh! Oh, Nancy, they are beautiful.
Malcolm: Who are you, lady!
Nancy: Don’t be rude, darling. Vanessa is- was- she’s my..
Vanessa: I’m your mother’s best friend.
Jonathan: I’m Jonathan, but call me Johnny. This loud mouth is Malcolm.
Vanessa: Johnny it is. You must get those cool, blue eyes from your mom’s brother.
Jonathan: You knew my Uncle Nathan?
Vanessa: No, but I saw a picture once, a long time ago.
Vanessa: [turns to Malcolm] And you look just like your mother.
Malcolm: Are you a movie star too?
Vanessa: [chuckles] No, I’m not a movie star.
Malcolm: Then who are you lady?
Vanessa: I’m your Auntie V. You can call me that, if you like.
Malcolm: Aunt V, are you gonna pick out a tree with us?
Vanessa: You bet. You should know, I have a keen eye.
Nancy: Sorry I’m late..
Geoffrey: Better late than never. I see you had an eventful day.
Malcolm: No more talking! Let’s go already!
Jonathan: I want to find our tree with mom!
Malcolm: Well I’m taking daddy!
Bob: Alright! Long time no see, VV! Man, it’s been a while, huh?
Vanessa: Just V is fine. Billy, right?
Bob: [sighs] It’s Bobby. This is my wife, Eliza and this cool guy is Iggy.
Vanessa: [sheepishly] Right. Nice to meet you. Wasn’t there another one of you?
Bob: [chuckles] Cassie. We still keep in touch. She’s a travel blogger now. And I’m sure you remember ol’ Geoffrey here.
Geoffrey: Good seeing you, Vanessa.
Vanessa: Likewise.
Bob: Heck yeah! Let the festivities begin!
-
Jonathan: This one! This is the perfect tree, right, Mom?
Nancy: Mhm. Yes, that’s nice- I’ll be right back.
Jonathan: Oh..
Bob: Alright, what’s going on? You can tell me, it’s just us guys now, and Iggy here is great at keeping secrets.
Geoffrey: Nance was so sad on our trip, sadder than usual. I haven’t seen her so low since- well, since Vanessa left. And she kept apologizing to me.
Bob: You’ve mentioned before she gets in a mood sometimes, right?
Geoffrey: Well, yeah... that’s not all. I saw these bruises on the inside of her thigh.
Bob: [eyes widen] You think she’s hurting herself?
Geoffrey: Is that it, you think? At first I thought they were- you know, hickies?
Bob: Whoa. Hickies? On Nancy?
Geoffrey: [snorts] That’s crazy, right?
Bob: You should talk to her. If she is harming herself, you should get her help, bud.
Geoffrey: And if it’s not that...
Bob: Then, that’s another kind of conversation. But this is Nancy we’re talking about. You two have been bit by the love bug since high school. I can’t imagine her having an affair with some other guy.
-
Nancy: Hi.
Vanessa: Hi.
Nancy: Sorry if I’m being...odd. I guess, I’m still getting used to seeing you.
Vanessa: I don’t think you’re being odd. I think you’re being you.
Nancy: Is that a bad thing?
Vanessa: [giggles] No, not at all. You haven’t changed and it’s refreshing.
Nancy: Ah. Well. You haven’t either. I mean..you still feel like my Vanessa.
Nancy Narrates: [All those questions I craved answers for came rushing back to me the more I looked at her. Was my loving her just a girlish memory of our past? Did she ever hear my voicemail? Was it worth mentioning after almost 2 decades apart? After I’ve already married and had children? After I’ve sworn to dedicate my all to them-]
Vanessa: So, about that dinner. Are you free tonight?
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n1ghtmaresatdawn2 · 2 months ago
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Hi loves! Just a reminder that if you put a tw for your sh pictures and don’t put the option that lets you scroll past without seeing anything or selecting to see the post, people will still see your pictures against their will!!
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If you click the button I highlighted in yellow before adding the pictures to your post, people who will want to see the pictures will be able to and people who don’t will not.
This is also an option:
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I do not want to see fresh sh on my dash in public sometimes ‼️
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lostinwonderland-13 · 2 years ago
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"Sometimes I cut myself to see how much it bleeds. Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me"
Eminem really hit the nail on the head
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yellowyarn · 4 months ago
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wish people we're normal about self-harm.
can we please let people exist as self harmers without telling them they are wrong/bad for self harming or not wanting to "recover" (at all or in the expected way)? can we let people talk about it without telling them their too triggering all the time? can we let people and art exist with scars without requiring them to warn everyone that their body is too disturbing for people? can we stop trying to categorise reasons/types of self harm as (more) acceptable and unacceptable? can we stop shaming people for not taking meds or doing therapy?
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lazy-girl-living · 2 months ago
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passing out from $h for the first time is an experience, to say the least.
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call-me-copycat · 9 months ago
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Hey! Idk if you still write fics but if you do. Could you please write about Aizawa having a daughter who selfharms, but he didnt knew until one day he entered to her room and find her doing it?.
Its kind of an emergency so i would really apreciate if you wrote it 🩷
Hi! I'm really sorry for the slight delay, I've been bouncing between school during the day and work at night, so even though I saw your ask I couldn't physically write it due to exhaustion (⑉ ᷄ ⌳ ᷅ )ก
That being said, even though it's been a couple days I didn't want to leave you hanging! I got some rest and wrote as much as I could in one sitting!
I really do hope this helps, feel free to message me anytime if you need to vent or such ₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ ♡
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What I Owe To You
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*I listened to this on loop while writing*
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➤ Welcome - Introduction and Request Rules (Requests are open + Some info about me)
▶ Characters: Just Aizawa and Reader
▶ Genre: Comfort + Slight Angst
▶ Summary: As the ask states
▶ Word Count: 2925
▶ WARNINGS:
- Self harm
- Depressive thoughts
- Overall lots of angst
Please don't read if any of this makes you uncomfortable!
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The cycle always went on.
At this point you were afraid of what was to happen next. At the same time, the thought was pushed away by the constant emptiness that filled you through. The sticky tar-like hands of this unknown void ravaged your mind, shredding it apart piece by piece.
Leaving you constantly feeling... Hollow. It was difficult to describe it as anything else.
You walked to school everyday and went to your classes. You sat next to your classmates as they animatedly discussed the usual topics of training and what to do after school.
On the weekends, you slept. Sometimes went shopping with your father. Maybe you'd get visited by your Uncle Mic, other times you'd train.
There wasn't much variety. It was suffocating. These feelings had no place to spawn from, as your life wasn't much different from everyone else's. There didn't seem to be a reason, for all you knew. But it was there, no doubt about it. It made itself known.
-
It was a usual Friday night. You had completed all your classes and had the weekend to yourself. It felt pointless, there wasn't much to do. Nor did you have the energy for anything either.
Sitting in your room, you jumped a bit at the unexpected knock on your door. You had been gazing out of your bedroom window for who knew how long, zoning out as far from your mind as you could. You vaguely remembered that a storm was to come soon.
"Dinnertime. Wash up and come to the table when you're ready."
Your father's voice never failed to comfort you, and in a way he was one of the main beacons of light in your dark and foggy world. An unchanging pillar of strength, he held on tight to your cracking mind.
Slowly, tiredly, you made your way out of your room. As you passed by Aizawa, he couldn't help but sigh in response to your barely-there smile at him. You had a habit of doing that, possibly to keep him from worrying.
Truth be told, Aizawa always worried about you. Ever since you were young, he was on guard every second, trying to keep you from falling and scraping your knees, to keeping an eye on you during training.
Though recently, he had noticed some... changes. Your eyes began to grow dull, and their usual energy faded with each passing day. The bags under them grew more prominent, and in turn your hair began to be left more of a mess. Slowly, little things were building up, and he couldn't tell why.
It worried him sick, since the only thing he had in mind for you was for you to be happy and safe. Seeing your condition worsen with each day made him nauseous, as it was the last place he wanted you to be at. He wanted to help you, the best he could.
So that's why before you even sat down to eat, he began to question you.
"Are you feeling okay, [Name?]"
Truth be told, he knew you'd say you were fine. He just needed to soothe his frantic mind.
Looking up at him, you gave him another smile. He couldn't help but grimace at how forced it looked.
"Oh, of course I'm fine." You clenched your jaw at how unenthusiastic you sounded, but it would have to do.
Aizawa only felt uneasy. Too many things added up and gave him a weird taste in his mouth to leave it at that.
"Look at me, [Name]."
The unusual tone of his voice brought you out of your foggy state of mind as you looked up at him fully. Once you met his eyes properly, Aizawa took notice of the... Saddened expression that filled yours. He knew someone was wrong, but it was being covered.
"You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"
He needed to know if you trusted him. He needed to be the one person you trusted in life. This was all or nothing.
Your eyes went wide for a split second as your breath hitched, but you quickly shook it off. His bluntness was what caught you off guard.
"Really, it's nothing Papa." You tried smiling once more, raising a hand out a bit in an attempt to calm him. You knew it was a pitiful attempt, but you didn't have the energy to make it convincing. Alongside that, Aizawa was generally a very tough man to fool. It'd take a lot to actually pass anything through him.
Aizawa's eyes narrowed in response as he saw your reaction to his question. Your body language indicated how uncomfortable you were, and he didn't want to push you too far past your limits.
It was tough, but he decided to give it up in the end and hope you'd come to him whenever you were ready. You always shared everything with him since you were young, and he had gained a large amount of trust over you in turn.
-
Dinner was eaten in silence, and as soon as it was over you bid your father a goodnight before heading off to your room.
Aizawa stayed seated at the kitchen table as he watched you walk off, wondering what was happening to his child. He couldn't bear the thought of you struggling with something alone. He had been there your whole life to help you get through everything you passed by, so why weren't you letting him in now?
After much deliberation, he got up from his spot at the table and made his way to your room. He needed to finish this conversation, and he needed to know what was going on. His mind had been sprawled all over the place for the last few months, as he'd been observant enough to catch on to the smallest changes you went through. Seeing you go into such a decline was like a punch straight through to his heart.
His mind was in such a haze that he threw open your door without second thought, seeing as he normally takes care to knock first. The room was pitch black, but based off of the startled gasp that came from you and the clanging of metal hitting the ground, Aizawa felt his blood freeze in fear.
Quickly flipping on the light, his eyes widened at the site that laid in front of him. You didn't have any time to cover yourself, so Aizawa saw it all.
The bandages laid out.
The blades.
And most importantly, your cuts.
You felt your eyes water at the expression on your father's face, guilt and self-loathing bleeding into your mind.
Aizawa was stuck in shock for a moment. It felt as though all time was warped as he saw what was his worst nightmare laid out in front of him. He was quickly snapped back to reality at the sound of your sobs that echoed throughout the room.
He swiftly made his way towards you from across your room, and in one smooth movement he pulled you into his lap, hugging you tightly to himself.
He had known something was wrong, felt it deep in his heart, but he didn't realize how serious it truly was. His heart ached for you as his grip only grew tighter around you. Aizawa didn't want you to hide these things from him, and in a way, he felt disappointed at your lack of trust towards him. All his disappointment and anger quickly dissipated, leaving him to face his worry and guilt.
"[Name]..."
He could hear his voice tremble, but couldn't care less.
"Why? I-" He was stuck in shock. It was something he never thought he'd run into. Looking down at you, his worry for your well-being grew tenfold, but he gathered the willpower to overcome the sudden surge of emotions he was feeling.
"I want... I need you to promise me you'll never harm yourself again," He looked down at you, cradled in his arms, "I don't think I could ever bear the pain of losing you..."
He knew this was only one step of many. That it doesn't start like this. That it grows. Although he couldn't pinpoint what might've started it, he at least needed to confirm you'd be safe. He just needed this one thing to give his already worn heart a little bit of ease.
You couldn't help but recoil a bit, bringing your arms to hug your torso. As much as you wanted it to be that easy, as much as you wanted to tell your father 'okay!', you knew it wouldn't be done so fast. And in a way, that only worsened your resentment towards yourself.
"I... don't know if I can.." You avoided his gaze as you faced the ground, hating how saddened he was and much rather preferring him to be angry. It'd lessen the guilt a little bit, at least.
He needed something.
"[Name]... I can't make you promise me you'll be able to stop right away. That's foolish to believe." Heaving out a sigh, he put a hand atop your head. "But I just need you to know that I'd be devastated without you. I can truly say from the bottom of my heart, I'd never be able to live a normal life again if you were gone."
Looking up into his eyes, you saw a heaviness that swirled in them. This was coming from a man who had seen it all - numerous deaths in ways he wished he could unsee.
You hadn't realized just how much you meant to him. It never popped up in your head. The all-consuming void had blocked any sensibility or logic from getting to you, and the more you thought about it, the more you realized just how much it would affect your father. He always told you your pain was his to deal with too.
Settling your face in the crook of his neck so you wouldn't have to see the hurt in his eyes anymore, you tried your best to explain everything to him.
"It feels..." Closing your eyes, you tried imagining everything that has built up. "Like I'm running a race, yet getting nowhere. That everything I do has no effect... I'm tired."
You stayed silent as you felt your father put a hand on the back of your head. Aizawa watched as you carefully pieced your words together, and saw the true effect of everything you had been dealing with. His heart ached to relieve you of your pain, his fatherly instincts screaming at him to help save his child.
"[Name]." His grip on you tightened ever so slightly. "I want you to get this through your head, alright? You are not a failure. You're going through a lot, and it's weighing down on you. And I understand you're under a lot of pressure, but-"
Aizawa was cut off when he began to choke up, the thoughts too much for him to bear. As much as he tried to keep his composure for your sake, his walls were beginning to crack.
You heard your father pause and looked up at him, only to be brought into shock at the sight of your normally stoic father tearing up. You felt ashamed for forgetting about his pain, tearing up once more at the guilt that ravaged your mind.
He could see how surprised you were, but he couldn't help it. He always struggled to contain himself when it came to you, especially whenever you were hurt. He hated seeing you in pain.
"Do you have any idea what it would do to me if I lost you? I- ... [Name], if anything happened to you, I don't know what I'd do anymore, I'd-"
He truly couldn't help it. All that Aizawa wanted was for you to be happy. Seeing you in so much agony... seeing your only escape being to harm yourself... He felt that he lost a part of himself.
You cried out loud this time, seeing your father so torn over you. It was heartbreaking, but oddly soothing at the same time. To have someone to deeply care about you that they felt intertwined with you. He cared.
You could feel his arms engulfing you, and you allowed yourself to be swallowed in his hold. It was warm and soothing... A stark contrast to the cold you constantly couldn't escape from.
As he held you, Aizawa couldn't help but be more shocked at himself than anyone. He normally was able to easily retain his composure, so as he felt tears flowing down his face he couldn't help but stiffen. Quickly getting over it, he held you close. The room gradually began to get quieter, the both of your emotions slowing down.
You couldn't help but feel... Secure. It was a stark contrast to the constant void you felt. You felt... Warm.
Yeah, warm.
It was a nice feeling.
Closing your eyes, you finally allowed your body to relax. Aizawa rubbed your back as he gently rocked back and forth.
"I just want you to breath. Don't think about anything else."
Following his word, you kept your eyes closed and settled your breathing. You quickly noticed how much easier it was to think this way. Nothing else was getting in the way, no unwanted thoughts or fears, and you felt safe. Safe and comfortable.
The world around you normally was so chaotic. It seemed everyone was in a rush, always somewhere to be. You couldn't have time to yourself either, constantly getting pushed to and fro. There never seemed to be a place to stop. Nowhere to rest. An unchanging race.
But here you were. The world has stopped, giving you a break you so badly needed. You couldn't describe it, but such a simple hug from your father seemed to dull everything that pained you.
"I understand what it's like."
Aizawa would be lying if he said he was never in your place before. Too many nights he was kept up, worrying about working on himself. Scared of the changing future. Feeling like nothing was changing for him while the world moved on. It was isolating.
Over the years, he got better. The world's rush blurred to background noise, and he learned to appreciate his own speed in life. It was his own life he was living, after all.
Looking down at you, he saw a mirror image of himself.
"Y'know, it's not fair..." You looked up at him as he brushed away a lone tear from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. "You allow me to laugh with you in your happiest moments... So why do you lock me out when you're at your lowest?"
You had never heard it phrased like that before. You did enjoy having him around whenever you had something good to share. Whenever you were proud, or amazed, or just plain happy. But you understood, he wanted to be a part of it all. Every smile... And every tear.
Your voice couldn't find you, but Aizawa didn't mind. To you, he was always a hand outstretched. A guide to help you through the fog and the dark. It made the terrifying a little less daunting.
"Please talk to me when you can. Tell me whatever you'd like, I just want to know how you're feeling."
You nodded, looking at him directly. Your heart rate had gone down significantly, and you didn't know how much time had passed. If you listened carefully, you could hear the distance rumble of an oncoming storm, thunder booming on the horizon.
There was a pregnant pause before he started once more.
"Tomorrow, we'll need to get your injuries looked over-"
Seeing a look of fear cross your expression, he was quick to calm you.
"I'll be with you. The entire time. You won't have to deal with living life alone. I understand it's frightening to look at, but let me hold some of the weight you own."
You watched as Aizawa stretched out his hand, offering it to you. Looking at it, you thought back to all the times he'd helped you in the past. Every time he's offered his hand out to you.
All the times you were too scared to cross the road when you were little. Every time you felt too suffocated by the number of people surrounding you. Or even when it was just the two of you, silently walking home together in the warm afternoon sun.
He always offered you support, for every little thing life had to throw at you. Aizawa's expression softened when you gently put your hand in his, no hesitation in your movements.
Clasping his fingers over yours, you saw how your hands intertwined. And you realized, he was always there to take some of the pain from you - acting like he was a part of you.
"You get it now, huh?" Looking up into his eyes one more time, you thought you saw a sparkle in them. "Whenever you bring pain to yourself," He squeezed your hand a little tighter, "you're hurting me right alongside with you. I need you in one piece, kid."
You breathed out, everything a little clearer now. There was so much more to do. So much to go through. It was a formidable thought.
But as you looked up into your father's eyes and as you felt his hand in yours, you realized;
You weren't alone.
You really did owe him the world.
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During my lowest moments, Aizawa was always a huge character I relied on to get me through it. I will always write comfort for him to anyone who asks.
I hope you have a lovely day, and I hope things get just a little easier for you, you definitely deserve it (*´艸`)フフフッ♡
➜ Please let me know if I missed any warnings/triggers in the tags or in the opening!
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phleb0tomist · 6 months ago
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people love telling me not to isolate myself when I’m having a crisis- reach out, don’t hide, etc- and while that’s a lovely sentiment, a lot of people don’t seem to understand what it entails in practice? like they truly don’t seem to have considered that me being open during my mental health crisis will mean them actually Seeing and Hearing small parts of that crisis.
“don’t hide yourself” seems to come with a secret caveat of “but don’t be unpalatable either”. often my openness leads not to support but to an ethics debate about whether it was condemnable of me to let my struggle be slightly visible. interesting. when i wear short sleeves or make casual mention of the long-term aftermath of my self injury, it’s somehow perceived as me saying “self injury is awesome! i think the whole world should do it!” instead of being perceived as me living exactly as i always have, just hiding a little less, bringing you into my world a tiny bit, like you asked. healed scars are the only ones i allow to be seen, i cover up healing injuries and i don’t talk about methods or anything overly specific or sensational. i openly discuss harm reduction measures & therapeutic strategies. but somehow ppl still disapprove of the snippets they see when i reach out.
if you want people to reach out during crisis you have to accept that theres no way for a person to make themselves palatable while theyre showing you their severe mental illness lmao. they’re not going to provide you constant caveats while sharing their feelings like “ive been having trouble coping so i fell back on self injury. but i don’t condone it! YOU shouldn’t do it and I condemn myself for having done it btw! I will never forgive myself for this expression of mental illness, i’m so sorry I revealed it to you.”
this post might be a vent I can’t rly tell. open to conversation if anyone has any similar experiences 👍
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