#cw self harm mention

[wolfertinger666]

hey cool update because I feel it's important to say: been clean from SH for almost a year. it's been so long I actually feel nice. happy to be healing.

[cupcakeslushie]

Does Donnie ever lash out at any of his brothers during an "episode"?

For the most part Donnie tends to direct any harmful actions inwards, but of course his brothers won’t just sit there and watch him hurt himself. So it’s only when they try to intervene that they get caught in the crossfire. They never hold it against Donnie, though.

[lillified]

cw self harm mention

[melicious-compliance]

Thinking about my princess telling me she’s scared, that she’s worried she might self-harm. So I help her get changed, into a comfy outfit and diaper, and into some mittens, so she won’t be scared of herself. Then I’d turn on a show for her, maybe feed her a bottle. Or I’d set her down on the floor, a playmat if we have one, and she’d have some tummy time while we played. And I’d stay with her and keep her engaged until she tells me she’s not scared of hurting herself. Then I’d take her mittens off, and if she’s still little we can keep playing, or watching her show, or doing whatever.

Host was very much in caregiver-mode for this one.

[ghostedtea]

lovesick

[accirax]

As of the latest episode, with all the secrets out in the open, do you have any changed opinions on the general outcomes of your “Secret Swap: For Better or Worse”?

Now that is a fantastic question! Thank you for remembering that this post existed-- I wasn't sure if anybody other than me did 😅 (And also, thank you for your patience while waiting for me to respond to you.) Here's a link to the post in question for anyone who might not know what fatherfigurefusion is asking about. As for the contents of that AU...

DRDT Secret Swap AU: For Better or Worse - REVISIONS

(CW for the suite of issues that we always have to talk about when it comes to the DRDT secrets: murder, death, suicide, implied homophobia/transphobia, self harm, eating disorders.)

Well, first of all, it's good for me that (other than the Xander/Teruko swap thing still not being confirmed) all of the secrets landed in the way in which I thought they would at the time I wrote that post. I would have had a lot more workshopping to do if, say, Hu had been the murderer without remorse and Levi had been the hopeless child.

I think I'll run through each choice I made individually, and then maybe try to fix any issues I encounter at the end after summing up the situation.

The Good Timeline

Eden receives Levi’s secret

Well, Eden did have a more negative reaction to Levi's secret than I initially anticipated in this post, criticizing him for being selfish in hardly even remembering whose lives he took. However, Levi also (presumably) has a more positive reaction to being approached with his secret than I feared. He was willing to share it with everyone himself, so I doubt he would threaten Eden if she were to approach him with it.

An updated summary of what might have happened: Eden receives Levi's secret, and is a little frightened, but might want more details before judging Levi fully (after all, she already knows that his family weren't the best of people). If she decides to approach him about it, Levi coolly explains what exactly his secret means. Eden's discomfort grows, which makes Levi feel bad.

Is it a fantastic scenario? Not really. But are there any better solutions to Levi's secret out there? Debatable. I think this one held up decently.

Nico receives David's secret

I still stand by this one, despite David being even more wild than initially expected. There's definitely a chance that Nico would just bluntly say the secret at some point if they determined that David was being manipulative. But, at the very least, Nico wouldn't be bringing their own drama to the situation-- just potentially elevating others' via timing.

It's a hard secret to deal with, but I still think that Nico is one of the better options.

Hu receives Ace's secret

So, this one obviously gains the new complications that we now canonically know that Ace was the killer, and that he was planning to do so basically before the motives were even revealed. I still think that Hu would probably react in much the way I "predicted" (assuming Ace's former bullying of Nico didn't already damn him in her eyes too much). But, I also don't think that hearing kind words from Hu would be enough to dissuade Ace from wanting to kill for his own safety.

Therefore, what happens to Hu after Ace kills? Is she now stuck in the opinion of defending Ace at the Class Trial, and being inevitably disappointed when he's revealed to truly be the killer? I guess that's not that different from what Hu canonically did with Nico, but it's not like that's going to be great for her mental health either. Not to mention 1) she would have been speaking up for a previously more controversial figure, therefore bringing her judgment even further into question for ever trusting Ace at all, and 2) Ace would actually die at the end, which would be worse for Hu's "wanting to be reliable and save people" bit.

For those reasons, I think this assignment is... dubious, but Ace's secret is also much more of a loaded gun now that we know that he was already planning to kill prior to the secrets' existence. I don't think there's any assignment I could make that would convince Ace out of killing.

J receives Eden's secret

This one still makes a ton of sense to me.

Rose receives J's secret

While I may wind up shuffling this one around in order to defuse another secret's problem, I think the logic behind this assessment holds true.

"Xander" receives Arei's secret

Also still makes sense to me. Let my girl rest. (But not in peace.) (Well, wait.) (You know what I mean!!!)

Arturo receives Min's secret

I don't think that any of our further explanations of Arturo's traumas would make the "poisoning the competition" secret any more traumatic to him. Thus, it still works.

David receives Xander's secret

I. Um. Wow.

I'm pretty certain I wasn't the only one caught off guard by the true extent of how much David cares/d about Xander. With the "knowledge" that David was planning on throwing the killing game and slaughtering everyone in pursuit of Xander's ideals-- taking into account that his actions may have been falsified/exaggerated, of course-- I fear that leaving David with this secret might be irresponsible.

If his emotions surrounding Xander grew even fiercer, so might his determination to bring the killing game to an end. No matter how much what David said in the Class Trial was the truth, I don't think giving him Xander's secret would have the "out of commission" effect I wrote about. This is definitely one I'd like to reassign, if possible.

Arei receives Whit's secret

Now, we have the confirmation that Arei didn't tell anyone about having Levi's secret! We still (understandably) don't know anything about Arei's relationship with her mom, though. Still, this one is looking good.

Veronika receives Charles' secret

As it turns out, Veronika actually found the secrets overall pretty boring (or at least, so she tells us), and only didn't reveal Hu's secret because of the pact she made with Hu. However, I still think that the logic behind her revealing the secret to Charles early holds, and that it's for the best that Charles learns this information on the sooner side. So, this one is still good!

Levi receives Arturo's secret

Well. We know that Levi wouldn't condemn someone for murdering a family member! If anything, if he treated Felicity's death like his own father's, he'd just forget that he ever read the secret. That's a joke, but I think I did a good job with deescalating Arturo's secret.

The worst consequences I can see here are 1) Levi coming to believe that Arturo is a bad person (which may have been the case already?), and/or 2) Levi could callously spill Arturo's secret to the group if he didn't understand the gravity of the sentiment. We don't exactly know how Arturo would react to his secret being shared publicly in a non-Class Trial setting, but given how he treated Eden in his mini-breakdown in 2-10, I can't imagine it would be good.

However, those are only hypotheticals, and I don't know if I'd really get any better by giving Arturo's secret to someone else. I still stand by most of the logic, so I think this choice would remain.

Ace receives Veronika's secret

I still think that nothing bad would happen from this assignment. Which means... Ace would proceed in his plan to kill Eden. Yay...?

Now that we finally have the answer as to who the killer is, it's really weird to look at this good AU. Every time, I'm like, "phew, we didn't do anything to give someone the motivation to kill!" But, as I don't think there are any secrets Ace could receive that would convince him not to kill, that just means that the "good timeline" is condemning Eden to die. Is that really better than some of the other timelines?

That's a bit more philosophical than I think is required for this AU re-analysis, so we'll just give this one a pass.

Teruko receives Hu's secret

Honestly, I think this one got better since I proposed it. This was probably my least favorite assignment of the original good AU. However, now we know that Hu had interest in forming a pact of secrecy with the person who held her secret.

Naturally, it's possible that she was only able to make this pact with Veronika because they had each other's secrets. I have no idea how Hu would have figured out that Veronika had her secret otherwise, barring a Hu!Mastermind situation.

However, as we saw in canon, Teruko decided to approach Rose and ask Rose about her secret. If Teruko did that in this AU, then Hu could surely ask Teruko not to tell others about her secret, and I imagine Teruko would oblige. It removes the possibility I was worried about with Hu feeling insecure about someone learning this about her; while that may still be the case, we can assume that instead of lashing out, she would just ask Teruko to keep it on the down low. This one's good!

Charles receives Rose's secret

I mean. Yeah.

Whit receives Nico's secret

Yeah x2. I do wonder how Whit would react if Nico tried to ask him for help with regards to Ace's bullying, though. I doubt that would actually happen, given that Nico doesn't trust anyone. Still, I'm curious if Whit would turn a blind eye like he did to their arguing canonically, or if that direct connection to Nico's mental health would call him to action a la Charles.

"Min" receives Teruko's secret

If David's creepy-ass smile didn't convince you that this secret should remain dead and buried, I don't know what will. This one can stay.

-

Finally, we've finished recapping the good version! In the end, I was still happy with 13/16 of my answers, which is a pretty good batting average.

But, how would I fix it? Well, as I alluded to in Rose's section, I think I would wind up giving Rose a different secret than J even though it was fine, just because Rose is a really useful slot to have. The best solution I could come up with is that Rose gets Ace's secret, David gets J's secret, and Hu gets Xander's secret.

I don't think that anyone would get mad at Rose for throwing away Ace's secret because it's pretty personal and likely not murder-related. And, Veronika was able to figure out that the secret belonged to Ace mere moments after hearing it for the first time anyways.

While giving David's secret to J is a bit of a dangerous game, I don't think he'd really be able to do much with it pre-Trial without blowing his cover. He might reveal the secret at the Trial just to throw things off track, but even when the secret was with Rose, it probably would have been revealed via process of elimination at the Trial anyways. We don't get the "take David out of commission" factor that made the assignment extra good the first time around, but that was a fluke. I don't think there's anything here that could stop David from David-ing.

I am banking on the fact that learning about Xander's suicidal tendencies wouldn't reignite any old feelings in Hu, but I think it would be okay. I would imagine that their circumstances are pretty different, and (on the surface, at least) Hu seems pretty resolute in her newfound desire to live.

As for Levi's secret, I think the best path for it would be to bury it in the "Xander" or "Min" slot and hand Eden either Arei or Teruko's secrets. Obviously, both of those are very loaded choices, given that Arei and Teruko are almost certainly the two characters that Eden is most connected to in the narrative right now.

In Arei's case, if Eden approached her about her secret, I think that encounter would play out much like the canonical clock-making scene did. However, that means that (if David is still in the area, I guess) they would also have that same rebound that would lead to Arei declaring herself Eden's friend-- albeit probably not as dramatically, given that in this universe, Arturo never attacks Eden. Of course, if Ace is still in the area, that then raises the question of whether the target would still change from Eden to Arei if Arei didn't make such a bold declaration. Which is the better scenario? That's impossible to say, because they both suck. Still, things to think about.

In Teruko's case, it really depends on how kindhearted Eden is feeling at the moment. I want to believe that Eden would approach "the killing game is all your fault" with skepticism and patience, and talk to Teruko to learn that she (most likely) has no memory of anything like this being the case. If Teruko could see that Eden wouldn't immediately turn against her at her literal worst, it would probably go a long way. That being said, it would be totally reasonable for Eden to be upset and worried about reading this secret, and to therefore begin to distrust Teruko.

Both of these situations raise enough issues that I can't decisively determine if they're better than just leaving Eden with Levi's secret. I'll leave it up to you to decide which iteration you personally prefer.

On to the bad section!

The Bad Timeline

As I said in the original AU post, it's difficult to determine which options are truly the worst when there are so many terrible options. Therefore, I expect that most-if-not-all of these options will still get a pass at least. We'll see if I wind up having enough brain cells to change anything in the end.

And, on that note...

Ace receives Levi's secret

Yeah, this one is still bad! Knowing what we know now, Ace is definitely killing if he gets Levi's secret, possibly faster. I do wonder if it would wind up leading Ace to target Levi, even if I'm not sure how he would pull that off. If Ace tried and failed, could it lead to Levi killing Ace instead? Eh, Ace probably wouldn't even try, given that everyone would suspect him if Levi were to turn up dead. "A reason to stay mad at you," indeed.

Veronika receives David's secret

The logic behind this one still cracks me up. Totally still think I'm right, though.

Levi receives Ace's secret

This one is okay. Really, the pushback I'm running into is just that things are already so bad with Ace that I don't think this extra layer of distrust would make things all that much worse. Plus, I don't know if Levi would pick up on the subtler implications of Ace's secret anymore. The question is just, "is there a better way that we can screw over Levi in this situation?" We'll just have to wait and see.

"Xander" receives Eden's secret

Sorry for kinda closeting you, Eden. But, that's what makes this selection so bad. And that's why it stays.

Arturo receives J's secret

There's no way to make J more miserable than to directly hand her secret over to Arturo. We'll continue sticking with canon on this one.

Hu receives Arei's secret

I didn't even mention in my original passage that Hu's love for her family would put her at odds with Arei's treatment of her sisters. That's really terrible, I say with a thumbs up.

Rose receives Min's secret

Tracks.

Teruko receives Xander's secret

While the whole David thing didn't really pan out, I do think that Teruko's segment still makes sense. It's possible we could do worse, but it's not like giving Teruko more reasons to hate herself is a terrible conclusion. I mean, it is, but not for the sake of crafting the worst possible timeline. You know how it is.

Charles receives Whit's secret

Charwhit angst :((((( Good thing that'll never happen in canon! Ha ha. This section is oxygen-potassium, which would also be potassium oxide (K2O), a corrosive compound! Or, you can just call it O-K.

Whit receives Charles' secret

Meanwhile, this section gets a heart from me.

Arei receives Arturo's secret

So if Arturo were in this even worse mental state after Arei wrecking his shop, possibly even being the blackened himself, would Levi also die? Because, Teruko was presumably planning on enacting her plan no matter who the blackened was, and DefaultTV would presumably always punish Teruko for it, and Levi (unless he too was too distracted by this motive) would probably still step in front of Teruko to repay his "debt" to her. However, if Arturo was either the one up for execution or too hateful of himself or anyone else to be spurred to surgery, we'd probably lose Levi too. It's even worse than I thought! Which means it's fully approved.

David receives Veronika's secret

Although this one kinda reads to me as "not that bad," it's important to keep in mind that I gave David a "not that bad" secret so that he would continue to encourage other people to share theirs. That's important for screwing over everyone else. So, I think this one will remain, but I could see blowing it up if it would help something else worsen.

Nico receives Hu's secret

This choice has always been one that I've felt was difficult to talk about, as was probably apparent by the million disclaimers I put at the beginning of it. Because of that, I'm sort of inclined to dissolve it. However, I... think it still holds up?

We also now have the direct confirmation that Hu wanted to keep her secret under wraps because she didn't want others to see her as weak or unreliable. If Nico was holding on to Hu's secret, she would likely only figure that out in a moment of stress, when people needed her to be reliable the most. My point is, she might go into further overdrive trying to prove to Nico that she really is reliable, which would only make things more stressful for Nico and more annoying for everyone else. With that additional reasoning, I don't currently see any reason why this should be changed.

"Min" receives Rose's secret

I didn't realize before that I had Rose and Min swap secrets-- not that it really matters, given that I could have just as easily given Rose's secret to "Xander." Anyways, this also tracks.

Eden receives Nico's secret

I still feel mean for this one 😅 But, y'know, that's just what life is like for a professional Eden Bully. Which is worse, threatening a lesbian with homophobia or falsely accusing her of murder for a year and a half? (/j) Jokes aside, this will remain.

J receives Teruko's secret

Guys, did you know that J HATES MURDER? Forget the theorist's "I feel like" disqualifier, J would definitely tell everyone and their annoying celebrity mom that everything in Teruko's life is worth killing for. Like a fine wine, this got better with age.

-

Unsurprisingly, after what I predicted at the beginning, I wound up approving 15/16 of these options. The only one I really had any issues with was Levi getting Ace's secret.

The worst secret for Levi to receive would probably be either something that makes him perceive a "good person" as a "bad person" or a "bad person" as a "good person." So, like, Teruko maybe for the former? And the worst person for Ace's secret to go to would probably be someone who would outright weaponize it against him, so possibly someone like Arei or David.

If I wanted to shuffle things around, I think it would give David Ace's secret and give Levi Veronika's secret. Ace's secret is also the kind of juicy insight that could still allow David to pull his manipulator BS, and David could absolutely destroy that man in the Class Trial, blackened or not, with the info when the time was right. Meanwhile, I could see Levi being like, "well, if it's stopping Veronika from hurting herself, then... her talent is a "good" thing, right? Every day I grow more jealous of you and your amazing perception, Veronika..." Honestly, I think I do like that one more than what I originally wrote. Let's roll with it.

And now, nearly two months after this ask was sent in, I'm finally done with it! Once again, I'm sorry I spent so long to complete this relatively simple ask. I hope this lived up to your expectations! Thanks for sending it in :)

[emilem-forevermore]

i am so happy to make this post

content warnings: self harm, alcohol mention

earlier today, i was listening to noah kahan. as i do.

this song. this lyric.

i heard it, checked the date, and started crying.

now, i don't drink. but i did self harm.

and i am so, so proud to say that i haven't cut for six months. on the dot.

(do i still self harm? yeah. but i haven't cut, and that is progress, at least to me.)

yeah. idk. i felt happy. i'm proud of myself. wanted to share. thanks for reading this :)

[yapporium]

finding out the drama around T.O.P is that he smoked weed has made me wanna watch squid game out of spite like ???

knetz need to get a fucking grip like you bullied a man to the point he tried to khs because he smoked weed ??? be soooo serious right now

i understand the cultural differences and that weed is heavily stigmatized in korea but goddamn y’all act like he killed someone

[getdarkerthandark]

Just some comparisons I was thinking about

[ask-codeearasure]

Do you think Ink has/would have self harm tendencies? Based on how he ripped his soul out of sadness and all

The basic definition of "self-harm" is to hurt oneself deliberately. But that's what Google says and I've met people who have performed self-harming behaviors without really knowing that that's what it actually was. The "deliberate" part is not always here nor there.

Given Ink doesn't remember that they technically committed suicide to escape their AU, I don't think they'd ever deliberately hurt themself for reasons as agonizing again, unless you happened to read my thread with @talonsirgo. But that is an extreme hypothetical, I have to stress that because Ink's reasons for doing what he did there are bound to be mostly circumstantial and entirely devastating. He was quite literally pushed to the edge.

But outside of extreme situations like escaping a meaningless life or having his very purpose stripped away, I don't think Ink would have any of the stereotypical, obvious, or purposeful self-harming behaviors, and if he were to partake in anything that counts as such, I doubt he was even looking to get hurt in the first place. I doubt he'd think of that result if he say, has to hurt himself to make an escape and fix it later or forms a drug addiction (because Comyet said before he'd probably do the latter if I remember right).

And I'm not talking about his paints, those are his equivalent to regular medication, shit that he depends on to live.

So through many words,... I'd say yes and no. I think Ink does have self-harm tendencies, but that depends on what they're doing and the reason(s) why. He's the kind of dumbass that gets himself hurt on accident, if it's necessary to save his own figurative skin, and/or out of pure reckless and impulsive fuckery. None of these things are inherently self-harm, but can be under specific causes.

EDIT: I was wrong about the drug addiction thing. It was a joke made by Comyet and I did not know that. Sorry for the inconvenience.

-- Sarco

[sonicexelle-junkary]

Okay, with the recent update of HungryHero.EXE and with the next part of MyBrother.EXE up and coming, I need to be blunt about something that I’ve been sort of neglecting to talk about and I think I should’ve put this out from the start.

CW: mentions of depression, self harm and suicide

I know that my AU’s have dark themes, especially with what’s coming up with MB. BUT even with these dark themes, and how dark this whole blog can get.

I would appreciate it if you guys don’t send stuff regarding self harm or suicide, even if you are joking or are genuinely curious about what’s happening in whatever story I’m sharing.

I myself suffer with depression and I have dealt with stuff like that, unfortunately, and usually things that talk about suicide or self harm make me feel uncomfortable or trigger some not good thoughts back. The only reason why it’s not that triggering for me to make stuff with it is because I know what triggers me and I try to keep that sort of stuff to the minimum or I just imply it, as well it’s mostly a form of venting for myself.

As well, I know that despite the people who do read my stories, I know most of them are either in a similar boat or are rather young. And while I don’t want children looking at my more dark work, I know I can’t stop it from happening. So I don’t want to share most of the stuff like that here.

I do appreciate any interaction I get on my posts, but stuff like that is not okay and I would appreciate that in the future any comments like this would be at least kept to a minimum. If I get any more they will be deleted.

That is all, thank you.

[kittieshauntedourfantasy]

"Tattooed with a safety pin" possibly being a line about self harm. Tattooing yourself with scars. Guys hear me out

[daily-tallyhall]

those model ass cheeckbones 💀😭

source

[borderline-culture-is]

BPD culture is getting an online friend and have I known them for four days? Yes. Am I obsessed? Abso-fucking-lutely. THEY TOLD ME THEY ARE PROUD OF ME!!! FOR SHOWERING!!!!!! I LOVE THEM QHFJFOJF!!! And I did promise myself to not get attached to people after my ex best friend(fp), whose name I still have carved into my skin, but… Also, said online friend could possibly have a personality disorder as well. AND THEY WROTE ME A FANFIC!!!! I don't see what the obsession with my old fp was about at this point tbh and I hope everything stays that way(it probably won't, but)

-💜🥀🔪

.

[melicious-compliance]

Thinkin about… bein sad, or mad, or scared… n wantin to scratch up my arms… but, I go n tell my cg, n they help me get mittens on… so I dun hurt myself… n they help me be little… n not let me get rid of my feelins in a bad way… so I can get through em, n let the feelins go away on their own…

[chimerahyperfix]

YAAAAYYY MORE IN CRAFT AND CAGES CONTENT!!!! YIPPEE WOOHOO!!!! Ive been meaninf 2 do one of these 4 a while (shoutout 2 the handful of drafts for these lost in the vast expanse of my Drafts) Time for The Horrors smile.

(content warnings - self harm, suicide + idealation [both simply mentioned but. It’s pretty obvious what’s going on], short but relatively graphic depiction of death/injury - this one is heavy)

There are many ways for you to end a loop. You don’t like any of your options, but you have them. The House is tall enough to jump from. Messing up crafting the bomb works, but it takes longer than you'd like it too-- and Change forbid someone finds you. The tears are nice enough, better than anything else you have access to. The King; well, the less he kills you the better.

The EASIEST option you have is in your room.

Easiest. Not the kindest- just the easiest.

It’s not hard to see how many… extremely dangerous chemicals you have. They litter your desk you should have cleaned it you should have cleaned it you should have cleaned it.and fill your closet. Spilled over and swept up and hid in all the little nooks and crannies of your shared room. Mirabelle knows not to bother using them for anything - and thank Change, because you're not sure what you'd do if you hurt her because you were careless. Yeah, you two have your little squabbles; but in the end it's all fun and games to you. You don't want to hurt her.

You don't want to hurt anyone, actually. Barring the King, of course. That was never your intention. Every now and then, your mind wonders to all those cut-off loops, and you wonder if they continued without you. It's something you've started to manually block out.

They are the fastest the quietest the lonliest an avaliable option. And it sucks, because they hurt. They hurt so, so much. But it’s the fastest way out and you don’t have to make others watch.

The first few times; they were all accidents. Back when you couldn't make the craft bomb fast, back when it took you hours to craft -- it's hard work, making a bomb from scratch! -- you'd always eventually mess up trying to take a drink of your water.

The first time was the worst. You don't remember all of it, not really, not anymore -- blotted that one out as much as you possibly can. You do remember the pain. It was basically acid, so it absolutely tore your throat up.

Everything after the realization point is blurry. You remember screaming, maybe, and blood spilling everywhere. A hand smacking your back. Choking to death. Waking back up at the very same desk with the lingering feeling of gore mashed against your mouth.

Even now, you can still taste it. Like the blood and toxins have seeped into your very being, coating your teeth and your throat. If you bit something you'd probably poison it, too, like a snake, or a scorpions tail.

It's... not that bad, now. You can hold down the sounds that scream in your chest, and simply lay down and die in a puddle of lightless, and that's fine. You've gotten the whole ''look like your sleeping at your desk'' shtick down too. It still hurts, crab does it ever, but you must've burned through all the nerves in the area recently, bevause the pain just gets further and further away. Smaller. Quieter.

Eventually, there's a possibility someone will find you. It happened the first time around. It's not a thought you'd like to entertain, but every hypothesis has a line of reasoning behind it, and eventually the variable will pop up. You very well could be running on a tightrope of when the other side will drop, or a coin flip or something. Until that actually happens, you swear off thinking about it.

For now, you close the door behind you and make your way to your little glass bottle-ridden prison. You need to loop back.