#tw for csa

[bring-out-the-dead]

kinda crazy how I once saw a post on this very website from a proshipper comparing antis to christofascist evangelical nazis because they

*checks notes*

don't like child porn, fictional or otherwise.

I'm saying this as a victim of csa: The reason we don't like your weird loli shit isn't because we're inherently fascists who want to take away your rights. It's because that loli shit 9/10 times is used to groom children and have being raped normalized for them, which is what happened to me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for artistic expression! But just as how art encouraging violence towards minorities is frowned upon, so will lolicon. Even if it wasn't the artist's intent, that fictional child porn will be used to groom kids, and will probably directly or indirectly be the reason more irl CSEM is made.

Even if you don't realize it, creating and consuming that kind of fictional content does, in fact, perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

[caddy-crystal-queen]

Can someone please clarify to me what has to go so wrong in a young woman's life that they go full missandrist "kill all men" crazy feminist bullshit? Because seriously, I've been through some crazy shit with dudes and I could never think that way.

TW ahead for CSA and mental/emotional abuse of a child.

So I came to a realization a while back ago that I was actually sexually molested/abused by at least four men in my life. I don't talk to two of them anymore and for all I know the other two could be dead. I don't know. I don't care. Is there resentment? Absolutely. Do I wish bad upon them sometimes? Yes I do.

On the other hand, I spent my life being emotionally, mentally, physically abused by my stepmother. I was cheated on by my ex girlfriend of 13 years which sent me into a seriously depressed state. Most of my childhood bullies were in fact girls. I was telling a friend the other day about how my high school bully was a chick who'd find fault in everything I did/wore, who rummaged through my bag while I was in the bathroom and read a story I was working on with her gaggle of friends who all made fun of me after I got back. Again, is there resentment? Yes, majorly. Do I wish bad upon them? Yes, sometimes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I just don't get it. Men and women are both severely flawed. Both men and women are capable of hurting each other as well as those who identify in their own gender identity. What has to go so wrong in these lady's lives that they believe all men should die or whatever? I'm baffled, shocked, and sad when I see things like that. No one should walk around with that much hate (I know I have resentment issues so I feel like that's the pot calling the kettle black but I'm working on it). That's gotta be incredibly exhausting.

Like seriously I don't get it. What do you get out of being cruel and hateful? Is it a gratification thing? Is it an age thing? Cause I'm in my 30s and I'm reading all this missandrist bullshit and all it does is make me feel bad for the posters, thinking what could possibly go wrong to make them think/feel this way. I get it, yall aren't asking for it, but you have my pity/sympathy nonetheless.

Please get help. This obsession is NOT healthy and just NOT okay in general...

[identitty-dickruption]

as a CSA survivor I honestly think that the number one way to prevent child abuse is to surround kids with adults who treat them with respect. partially because it means there are people for kids to turn to in times of crisis. but also it makes kids way less vulnerable to the magnetism of “wow this adult is the first person to treat me as a human being. better do whatever I can to keep their respect”

[inkskinned]

i was raised by a catholic deacon so as a kid - maybe ages 7 to 14 - i would have told you that abortion was only okay in exception cases like rape. i didn't even really understand any of the terms at play here, only how to parrot that there were "few and far between" exceptions, but abortion-as-a-whole was irresponsible and evil. i believed it was a bad form of birth control.

for context's sake - i still had a flip phone. google wasn't really a thing back then. the whole narrative was akin to the apostle's creed: i don't know that i ever thought about what the words meant, only that this was what i was supposed to say when asked. i remember being in 4th grade and having it down pat - abortion is evil, except in cases such as rape. my father wasn't insensitive, after all - he acknowledged there might be medical necessity to end a life.

what changed was that at 14 i learned how hard it is to prove that a rape has happened.

it was a boy, actually. and his piano teacher. and him telling me, crying, that nobody believed him that he didn't want it. and what if she gets pregnant?

this is the mark in a lot of our lives: at some point, someone will confide in you, and then you see exactly how often it happens. how it happens so fucking loudly, and nobody says anything. how often your friends, nervous, will shakily admit that while they love their partner, there are a few times that they didn't really consent, that they didn't really want it. for others, there are nights half-remembered in bars. for others, they married their partner at 15, so now it's "fine", legally. for others, there are yes moments that felt like a no. there were no moments that were never acknowledged. you say no but are told you actually said yes because of what you were wearing or because he is good at swimming and his life would be ruined or because he's a nice guy or -

in the last 8 years, my father has become radicalized. he now believes in "no exceptions".

but the truth is that there was never going to be a true "exception" clause. there was never going to be a grey area. i am not even really sure they believe in the concept of rape. and if they did - how would you ever prove it? in the six weeks you have to state your case - when it takes years in a court of law - the "rape exception" would simply evaporate under the continued pregnancy. you were never going to have a moment where you could privately tell a doctor - it's because of a rape. there was no box you could check. there was no form you could file. it was always going to be assumed consensual until proven malignant. it was always going to be your fault.

they also knew they couldn't actually sell the rest of us on this idea of it's always blessed. they knew in their hearts that every pregnancy should be wanted. they knew going in that plenty of us - even raised catholic, even having had this shoved down our throats - plenty of us still had too many questions about what ifs.

it's just they just didn't want to come off as monsters. they patted our heads and taught us they weren't insensitive. they just had these beliefs. and then they put their hands on our bodies. and said if you don't listen, i'm going to force them.

[katrafiy]

male socialization was when they surrounded me in the school locker room and carried me kicking and screaming back to the stalls so everyone else could pretend to not know what was happening.

male socialization was when i kept trying to use a piece of twine in order to self castrate when i was 11.

male socialization was when I would secretly take my mother's women's multivitamins because maybe that's what I needed to become a girl.

male socialization was when I would ask my older sister if I could pleasd sleep in her room whenever she was going to be gone for trips or sleepovers at her friend's place.

male socialization was when I broke down crying in front of my parents and school counselor because I thought that I was gay (derogatory) because I wanted so badly to be a girl.

male socialization was when I prayed for 3000 nights to please, god, please, please let me wake up as a girl i'll do anything please

Any analysis that says "cis men do/experience X and therefore so do trans women", that insists on erasing and flattening trans women's socialization into the category of "male socialization" is frankly juvenile and does not hold up to scrutiny. it's reductive, innacurate, bioessentialist nonsense.

[userarmand]

Lover, murderer, maker. You took him back. It’s a bond that can never fully be severed.

[cuntylouis]

He was rescued from a brothel when he was 15, named Arun then, I think. I cannot be sure. The abuse in the brothel was such that he cannot be sure that is what his parents named him. The parents that sent him to work on a merchant boat in Delhi when in actuality they had sold him into slavery to the ship's captain. All... fragments. Shackled on the boat. The brothel.

[nyancrimew]

absolutely cannot believe i need to say this, but ABSOLUTELY DO NOT email me or anyone else a list of links to CSEM on tumblr unprompted (or at all), even if your goal is just to get rid of it (which to be clear is not something i can help with whatsoever). you are putting both yourself and me at massive risks for absolutely no reason, if you stumble upon materials like that you either report them to tumblr or an actual org dedicated to dealing with stuff like this (and also only if their instructions specifically say to do so). investigating it yourself and even worse, sending it to random people, puts you (and anyone you send it to) at massive legal risks, don't do it.

[corvidcaeneus]

[tired-fandom-ndn]

"I'm scared of what predators might do if we acknowledge preteen sexuality."

It is a proven fact that teaching children about their bodies and about sexuality, providing them with safe resources to explore and ask questions, and giving them the language to describe their experiences and feelings and anatomy makes them less vulnerable to abuse and more likely to ask for help when they ARE being abused, mainly because they actually know how to describe it and why it's wrong.

"Protect the children" narratives overwhelmingly hurt children instead and make them way more vulnerable to abusers. Puberty doesn't stop just because you plug your ears and pretend it's not happening, and kids without safe resources and places to ask questions will go look for that information somewhere else.

[patricia-taxxon]

I forget who said this originally, but the way I've managed to partially move past the shame of my early developing hypersexuality is to accept that it is normal for kids to experience sexual attraction on some level, but it should be like splashing and playing freely at the foamy shore. I was taken and thrown deep into the sea before I was ready.

[pawberri]

The key problem with "proship vs anti" discourse is that the most extreme versions of each side, the ones who actually bother to identify with these labels, accepted each others worst takes as arguments they had to debate. "Fiction =/= reality" is, in practice, an absurdly reductionist, anti-intellectual, thought-terminating-cliche that dictates we can learn nothing about a person via art and that their fiction reflects no political or moral messaging worthy of critique. In response to this, the "puriteens" who are too young to possibly hope to articulate their discomfort, to untangle their position from what is often real trauma experienced online, simply argue "yes, fiction influences and reflects reality in a 1 to 1 capacity." They, and people who want to use the groundwork they laid to make bad-faith callouts, make bad arguments about how the action of engaging in problematic fiction is on equal ground to real life abuse, or is a clear indicator of interest in real life abuse. Both of these arguments are terrible, but each side seems to radicalize the other further and further into their own brands of anti-intellectual reactionary belief. "Proshippers" become libertarian absolutists about free speech and view all transgression as righteous and alternative and therefore leftist. They gain a reactionary nostalgia for the past, desiring a time when people didn't seem to care about the implications of art. "Antis" become authoritarian and hypervigilant for signs of moral decay, at their worst, willing to align themselves with government bodies that offer carceral solutions to the debate. They are willing to use harassment as a tool of punishment, which then leads to false accusations and a fear of openness that puts people at risk of being triggered via obfuscation. (That said, proshippers also take part in plenty of harassment.)

I will say that I believe both of these movements are equally sensitive to co-opting by right-wing forces. We see the authoritarian tendencies of anti culture in harassment campaigns and even the way Republican law makers co-opt "grooming." The proship/fic crowd has such extreme nostalgia for the past that I often see people align themselves with the cultures of 4chan or other happily right-wing websites. They so heavily reject the idea that a drawn sexual depiction of a child could reflect any desire that they are disinterested in analyzing what the motivation behind the depiction is. i.e If we track the history of lolicon in Japan we do find that is, yes, countercultural, but that counter culture is right wing, very misogynistic, and defensive of patriarchial Japanese culture as it is and was including its culture around rape and abuse. Plenty of fictional content works as radicalization material, and radicalization material needs to be ambiguous. There is a valid reason to be hesitant to trust people who consume this content, even if I do not believe most of them will ever be dangerous towards children. The mere presence of sexuality is not enough to make a movement left wing. This kind of thing can again be seen in right-wing libertarian movements in the US. (And even leftist movements can be bigoted and even "pro-pedophilia" or otherwise disinterested in social reform around abuse.)

Is all content with elements of age-play this way? No. But to me, that is why kink media deserves to be treated as art and analyzed, critiqued, treated seriously. It doesn't have to do anything to anyone to be worthy of a moral critique. Said moral critique just doesn't warrant harassment and cruelty and reactionary exaggerations of the person consuming said content.

Anyway, what's my point in saying all this? I don't know. I'm just begging you to tag your God damn content with specific tags instead of random and nebulous shit like "dead dove" or "dark content", and also begging you to stop harassing people who do tag their content so I don't have to guess what "dead dove" and "dark content" mean. No one will erase incest kink fics or people who feel sickened by the idea of them off this earth because we aren't god, but we could at least all be responsible about tagging, flagging, and age-gating our stuff.

[userarmand]

All... fragments. Shackled on the boat. The brothel. My maker's purchase.

[howlingtothevoid]

Tired of being used? Me too, pass the bottle

[corelle-vairel]

I had this idea, so here it is

[stackslip]

the truth is, i do not think that it is useful nor helpful to treat rape and sexual abuse of any kind as singularly evil things that will damage and destroy victims forever and leaves them unworthy of life, and whose perpetrators are also singularly evil people who were born evil and need to be erased from society in order to get rid of rape existing at all. i do not think it is helpful to anybody including victims to tell them that rape and sexual abuse has damaged them permanently and that they have less worth as a human being for having been through that specific kind of abuse/assault. i do not think it is useful to treat sexual violence as completely different from other forms of violence, something that must remain taboo and that has no link to any other form of abuse and violence that might be perpetrated. it is especially not helpful when the very existence of transgender women is treated as sexual violence and a violation to protect cisgender women and children from. it is not helpful when victims of sexual violence are treated as damaged goods, when the sexual violence they've been through is either/both so taboo it cannot be spoken out loud, or something that marks them out as a potential perpetrator of said violence bc they have been forever broken by it.