#tw death //
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i stare at the illustration, panicking for half a second. stress wells up in my throat, but i run my hand through my hair and sigh. i'm not the one bleeding out. i have no time to stagnate in my own inconsequential sympathy.
i crouch down, then turn the paper around to show you. 「you've died.. either for information or satire.」
i watch as you quickly process the grief of realizing your days were probably spent delivering letters of similar importance, tears beginning to slide down your face.
「oh.. th-thank you.. sir.」 you croak, dejected.
i sigh, then click my tongue to regain your attention. i smile softly; as best as i can manage watching a sad, defeated child die. 「is a noble task.. delivering letters like this, to help someone learn.」 you look up at me, listening intently. 「you've probably delivered hundred of letters, right?」 you nod.
「then you've likely helped many people.. you've spread knowledge and made it possible for others to study, so that they may perfect their crafts. is a very honorable assignment..」
you stare at me, your expression flooded with hope tinged with desperation. 「really..?」
i shrug, attempting to steal my nerves over the devostating scene. 「in my eyes, certainly.」
you think for a moment, looking down at the grass. you smile. 「thank you.. a-again, mis-ster.」
i nod, my face expressionless as my emotions whirl inside me. 「of course, lad.」 i don't appreciate my own voice's steadiness compared to your frail, stuttering one; the strength in it had never felt undeserved until now.
i reach out to your arm, hovering my hand over it. 「may i touch you?」 i ask. once you give me the okay, i carefully pick you up and hold you on my lap. i let you rest on my chest, hoping my hug to be comforting despite me being a stranger.
you don't reply, likely not having the strength to anymore, but i can feel as your once prominent tremors fizzle out, and you relax.
while your blood soaks into my shirt, i seethe. you spent your entire life wishing to be useful, to be told that you were worth it, and it's only at the end, by the word of a stranger and under happenstance, that you are given it.
your superiors didn't care about you. physically and emotionally, they left you to suffer.
you shift, weakly raising your head, and distracting me from my thoughts. your body, entirely limp as you're moments away from erasure. you can't manage a smile, unable to focus enough to move your face, you weakly whisper your third 「thank you」. i hold back the despair coursing through my body, and nod. 「you're welcome, dear.」
your nerves go dim and silent, and the blood in your veins stills. i sit there in the grass, crying in grief for a child whose name i don't know; and for all the children left to suffer, whose names i'll never know.
the people who did this to you will suffer, ten times the amount that you have. they will know the hopelessness and existential insignificance that i tried to save you from.
𝀺''𐤙 ⦂ ▍▊⃢" wasn't mentally stable at the time of writing this [moreso than.normal]. it's not.too obvious, is it?
If i was a sickly little peasant boy designated by the aristocracy to carry messages back and forth for pennies and you found me against our citys outer wall with a deep wound in my chest from a musket ball and a letter cluthed in my hand and i told you that my dying wish was to have someone read that letter to me so i would know i died for something important and you open it up and you find a single large illustrated diagram of an onion would you tell me what it was? What would you say?
#crechi writing#[〓: my darling little anarchists♡]#tw gun violence#tw child death#tw death#tw child neglect#tw childhood trauma#tw exploitation
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Death - Part 1
Masterlist
Death Personified M X Human GN Fat Reader
CW: Pet death, grief, death (obvi?), masturbation, monsterfucking, yandere if you squint, not sure what else yet, will add as I go.
Death wasn’t a single entity. It was more of a group. A way of being. There were hundreds holding the name “Death”. He didn’t know any others though. They didn’t interact. It was a solitary life. Flitting from life to life, helping souls move on. He held a rudimentary understanding of why the creatures around the souls would mourn, but it was a beautiful thing to him. He lived in an in-between realm. Not quite dead, not quite alive. Very few could see him, and most only could shortly before they themselves moved on.
This was why he was in their home. It was dark. He knew they were around. He had been checking up on the cat who lived with them for a couple days now. She was close to death.
He stood next to the couch she was curled up on. He preferred to take creatures gently. He was not malicious. He chose the souls who were ready to move on. The cat looked up at him with one eye, not bothering to move her head. She was frail. He could see her vision wasn’t strong. He mewled at her and she stretched her paw out towards him.
Death leaned down to press his finger into her paw when a voice snapped him out of his focus.
“Please don’t.” It was shaky and sorrow filled. Death turned around to see you. You stood in the door frame, illuminated by the light behind. Your face was covered in tears. You could see him? He hadn’t felt any connection that would signal your ability to see beings like him. And he knew you weren’t close to death. How could you see him?
He stared longer than he should, dumbfounded and with no idea how to respond. You sniffled and continued. “Please, just wait until tomorrow. I understand, it’s…. She’s old. But can I please have one last night with her?” You begged.
He took advantage of the out, and rather than trying to respond, he swiftly ran away. He didn’t go far though. He had been rattled, and he didn’t like it. He spent his eternity alone. Only dying and dark could see him. He avoided the dark, and the dying never saw him for long. But you were neither? You frustrated and intrigued him. He would never admit that the way your plush body had looked, and the way your skimpy pjs clung tightly to your form had also intrigued him.
It wasn’t unheard of for his kind to get involved with humans, or each other. But it was forbidden. And dangerous. That much power with something so frail had resulted in more often than not, a soul ripped from their body before their time.
Death’s touch wasn’t always an execution. He could control the touch. But it was difficult and took immense focus. Something others had learned too late, that they were worse at than they had thought.
He sat now, on your porch railing, gazing through the rain that fell in the night sky. He watched you through your windows. He never realised you could probably see him. He was so used to passing through unknown that he didn’t even consider it.
You made a fancy chicken dinner for your pet, he assumed her favourite. You curled up on that same couch with her and hand fed her. You cried. A lot. He wondered what it felt like to mourn. He wondered what it felt like to love enough to mourn. He wasn’t supposed to give creatures more time, but he hadn’t been able to look you in the eyes and take something you clearly loved so much.
You cried yourself to sleep sometime in the night. He floated through the wall and stopped in front of your pair of sleeping forms. You looked beautiful. Your face was no longer tensed by emotion and he could see the freckles that covered your nose. Soft eyelashes fluttered against your apple cheeks.
He reached down to touch them, before catching himself. What was he doing? You were human. You weren’t for him. Also, he was about to kill your cat. He thought you probably wouldn’t appreciate waking up to have death touching your face before taking something you loved so deeply, away from you.
But he didn’t move his hand from where it was. Stretched out in front of him, inches away from your face. He was shocked by his own desire. Had he ever felt desire before? He didn’t think so. You were just so soft. You looked so safe and comfortable. He imagined running his fingers down your curves, feeling every inch of you.
The sun started shining through the windows and he realized he’d been standing there for far too long. You might wake up soon.
He turned from you, eyes dragging. He looked down at your sleeping cat. He felt bad. There was another new emotion. He knew it was better, and that her soul would continue on in peace. But he also knew you loved her. For some reason, he didn’t want to be the cause of your pain.
He steadied himself and shook his head. This was what he had to do. This was what he was made to do. It was his only purpose. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your pet’s head, her exhale as he did, her last.
He watched her soul coalesce above her body and then dissipate. He had seen it hundreds, maybe thousands of times. It was beautiful every time.
He looked back down to you and took an instinctual step back as he realised your eyes were open. You looked up at him with a teary gaze.
“Th… thank you.” You said. His throat felt thick. You were thanking him? “Thank you for letting me say goodbye.” You finished. You curled your body around your pet and sobbed into her fur. He felt like he was intruding.
He started to turn away but hesitated. He looked back down at you. His chest hurt. He reached out a shaky hand and lingered above you again. He fought with himself. He should leave. He’d been here too long already.
But he couldn’t help himself.
He reached down, and so gently you could have mistaken it for wind had there been any, he brushed your hair from your face.
And then he was gone.
#nb nsft#gn reader#fat nsft#fat body#fat reader#fat belly#chubby!reader#chubby reader#chubby#plus size reader#monster kink#monster x human#yandere monster#monster smut#monster fucker#monster boyfriend#monster lover#monster romance#monster fuqqer#monster k!nk#tw death#pet death#grim reaper#terat0philliac#teratophillia#terato#fat nb#chubby nsft#monster x reader#remiratboi
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Something something the constant stream of bad news about trans people and social media pushing far right and anti-trans ideology onto more and more people’s plates leads to trans youth not only feeling as though there is no world for them past the age of 16 but that they’ll never transition and they’ll never amount to anything leading to trans youth partaking in dangerous and harmful activities that they know is dangerous because they feel as though they won’t live long enough to actually live the way they want
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Your post reminded me of an headcanon i read once about growing old with gojo where you die first and he dies of heartbreak soon after and now im imagining waiting for him in that airport place and he runs to you, holds you tight and swears to follow you into the next life ahh i love him so much dhrhjd
lies face down on the floor rn swimming in the pool of my own tears 😭😭😭😭 he’d rly die of heartbreak like istg he’d follow you soon after. like even after you’re gone, i think his eyes will still look and search for you in a crowd, or at home. like you’re about to show up any second now. he still makes two cups of coffee in the morning. after placing them on the kitchen table like muscle memory he pulls the chair for you, who is no longer there, and only then he sits, alone. he keeps your shoes next to his in the entryway. he hasn’t touched the earrings you took off and personally placed on the nightstand. he sends you voice messages regularly, talking to you about his day. he ends each of them with “wait for me. i’ll come pick you up soon”
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Ughgghhhhhhhh j
Oh damn..
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Okay SO I was watching with my pookie again and she pointed out another thing!!! I noticed his weights and Gameboy from earlier in the game but I wasn't sure what the hands could symbolize. She theorized that they represented all of the things pointing to his death. Jimmy manipulating him to go into the vent, Anya locking herself in medical (which resulted in Jimmy having Daisuke to try going in the vent), Curly not making a fuss about him being brought on last minute, and Swansea killing him to put him out of his misery and for being too innocent and "a useless ray of goddamn sunshine". Hibiscus flowers represent innocence, happiness, and youth, and they need lots of sunlight to grow.
Edit: She just added that there's six hands – three pairs. Jimmy, Anya, and Swansea. Curly's hands might not be there due being amputated because of the crash, which could represent him not having a bigger role in Daisuke's death. Also, there's two flowers, two weights, and one Gameboy. Five items. Five crew members.
#she is on a ROLL this morning chat#she does not have tumblr unfortunately#Courtney's rambles#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#daisuke#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#anya#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#curly#captain curly mouthwashing#swansea#swansea mouthwashing#tw death mention#cw death mention#cw death#tw death
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Thanks, Anon!
-submit your poll!-
#tw death#poll#polls#thanks anon!#submitted October 22#anonymous#submitted by anonymous#anonpolls#poll blog#tumblr polls#random polls
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Happy Birthday In Stars and Time! You have filled my brain every day since I played in March! Here's to many more months of brain worms! You have tweaked my brain chemistry in ways that experts will struggle for years.
(under the cut for some Act 3 spoilers)
Huh, I think my copy of Webfishing is broken. Not the only thing though.
(I would genuinely like to ask as well, to ISAT and Webfishing fans, how one can go about shading characters of colour? Siffrin, as our resident bright one, is simple as you can just slap down some white and call it good, but I would like to do some more art with Mirabelle and Bonnie without it looking lazy or off. If anyone has some genuine advice, I'd love to learn from it!)
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#webfishing#in stars and time spoilers#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#tw#cw#content warning#tw death#child harm
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Vetting link for ease of access
‼️Sensitive content
I hope everyone will help my father to undergo the operation 💔🙏
Our house was bombed, My husband and my young son were injured in their bodies and miraculously died. His condition was serious in his legs, which led to him staying in the hospital for a whole year, and he underwent several operations, which made him lose the ability to walk. Despite this, my father still needs to travel abroad and undergo major operations and physical therapy, and my brother suffered fractures in his hand and facial disfigurements.
Please do not ignore what I wrote previously, because it may be the last thing I write. Our only option is for you to support us and stand by us. We need some money to complete the treatment journey for both my father and brother and to survive. Every donation from you, whatever it is, makes a huge difference in our lives
My heroic friends who support the Palestinian cause... Today, after we have lost hope in this world, I ask you to help us and stand by🇵🇸❤️
Please donate💔🙏
@khanger @buttonpoetry @a-shade-of-blue @ana-bannana @sayruq @sar-soor @appsa @neptunerings @stuckinapril @jezior0 @unfortunately-awake @malcriaada @heritageposts @determinate-negation
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #249 )✅️
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shattering
/!\ Spoilers for Dragons Rising S2P2!
(very original title) hiii i'm still not dead <3 sorry i'm not active but y'know. life.
here's a jay fic!! about him experiencing shatterspin for the very first time but this is actually more me trying to make the wolf masks kinda gory and made out of flesh it's. it's an experiment. as well as like. physical effects
i'm just having fun and trying out some things (ig it's not really a fic then but idk adfkjsegd)
/!\ TW : Blood, Gore, Wounds, Death (tell me if I forgot something)
Also not beta read and I don't read that well behind myself yaddi yadda y'know the drill (especially since this is more of a bunch of scraps assembled together and not a real fic akfjzsgv (I might cross post it on AO3 at some point we'll see))
This is around 6.8k words so it's half a short? anyway enjoy
Jay narrowed his eyes at the mask he held.
It seemed to be looking back at him. And to be frank, he wasn’t a fan of how it looked back.
A shiver crawled down his spine as he passed his fingers on the front. It was meant to be a mask, but the fact that there was hair there, even if short, was somewhat disturbing to realize. He didn’t know how to feel about the idea that these could be made of real fur. Or worse, that they were somewhat organic, and used to be alive.
He checked the eyes; they seemed colorless, and dull, when inactivated. Glassy.
Dead.
That last realization brought relief. Yeah, it was dead.
Whatever it was.
He knew he was supposed to put that shit on at some point, but… it didn’t seem like a great idea, in hindsight. At least that’s what his guts were telling him.
His mind was on a whole other setting. He trusted Ras, after all. Why shouldn’t he? He had saved him, from the insanity that the Administration had been.
Thank goodness this is over. He was grateful to the man, and had taken the time to hear his interests, and plans. Things Jay wasn’t bothered by, too big to be of a concern to him. But since they were important to his savior, well, who was he to refuse helping him?
He passed a hand on the fur again, before turning it around to see the inside. He winced.
It had been… somewhat ‘polished’, but one could not look away from the flesh that had probably been ripped apart from some unfortunate creature, the whole mask made of stitches between different kinds of skin. But he didn’t dare to touch it to confirm his fears. Had it been the same specie, every time? He did wonder if asking himself that wasn’t the most unimportant question of all.
Living beings had to die, for these masks to be made.
Jay hated how his brain was sure of it.
That, and there was some… sort of taint, at the bottom of it. Where the mouth was supposed to be.
It wasn’t on all the masks, but enough of them had it to pique Jay’s curiosity.
He hadn’t talked about it to Lord Ras yet, of course. He doubted others had noticed what these visages were made of. He wasn’t even sure how he had noticed the details in the first place.
Perhaps due to his weird anxious nature about everything that’s been happening since starting his life in the Administration. His only life, actually, since he couldn’t remember shit from before.
The medallion felt heavy in his pocket. Its sudden presence making itself known made him frown.
This piece of metal was all that was left to him. He wasn’t even sure how the ones that had found him in the Land of Madness hadn’t taken that away from him, just like all his previous belongings.
He placed the mask back in its place, giving it a final glare, before walking away.
He looked at himself, unsure of what to think of his clothes.
They were comfy, that was for sure. Much better then the suit he’d been forced to wear for years in this damned Administration. And looking much better. He did enjoy the patterns that had been added to go along his powers. Symbols of wolf could be seen as well, on his chest, making sure people would know which clan he belonged to- in case the mask wouldn’t be enough.
But the fur covering his neck, and the gloves… he didn’t like as much. They hid away scars, important parts of himself.
Then again, he still had the ones on his face, definitely due to his own powers when it came to the lightning paths, and probably from fights where there were cuts, and skin that had been torn.
He wasn’t a fan of keeping them away.
But, having his body completely protected when it was clear he was going to fight in the future wasn’t that bad of an idea. Are we going to fight now? Jay doubted it. A lot of the new recruits had probably no idea of what they were getting into. Had probably been enrolled with the idea that they were going to become better fighters, with something close to powers. Lots of people didn’t listen fully when about to drastically change their lives, he had seen it many times in the Administration.
With a heavy sigh, he passed a hand on his face. To be honest, Jay hadn’t thought that long about this idea of joining Lord Ras’s forces as well.
But I owe him. He was there when no one had tried to help. It was all that mattered.
Jay could hear people getting closer. He turned around, seeing Cinder and Ras coming towards him.
The latter still had the same expression as always, severe, and mildly pissed off at people for breathing in front of him. The master of smoke, on the other hand, often had a smug expression there, knowing he was above everyone else, and enjoying it way too much. Not too far from them, he could see Jordana, the sort of witch- he didn’t completely understand what her deal was- who looked away as soon as she saw Jay noticing her.
He didn’t get to focus on that, though, when Ras made sure to be the only thing in his vision.
“I take it you’re ready for today.”
No. Not at all. But this wasn’t what their Lord wanted to hear. “Yes.” He took a deep breath, doing his best to resist the need to fidget with the fur around his collar.
“A first test, to make sure everything will go smoothly for the first battle.” Cinder chuckled at Jay’s expression, before handing him the wolf mask. “You’re lucky to try it before the real deal, Jay.”
He glared at Cinder. “Yeah. I guess so.”
Though, with how the master of smoke was looking at him, mocking, he wouldn’t call any of this luck.
Inhaling sharply, he tried to not let himself show how nervous he felt. He hadn’t expected to wear it so soon. He grabbed the mask that was given to him, nauseous at how he was about to wear unknown skin on his own.
He tried to compare it to leather, but fuck that had nothing in common. He passed trembling fingers on the inside, wanting to confirm his fears.
…Yup. Organic tissues. It was repulsing.
Cinder quirked an eyebrow. “Are you hesitant now?”
There was a threatening growl coming from Ras that echoed with the other’s words. Jay closed his eyes, and shook his head. At least… there weren’t any smell to go with the thing. “No. Not at all.”
“Good.” Ras crossed his arms behind his back, walking towards the arena. “Then get ready. You will be tested along our new soldiers.”
Soldiers. Why did he hate that designation? Wasn’t he supposed to be more, with his elemental power?
He adverted his gaze, focusing it back on the inside of this mask. “Sure.”
It was the first time he entered the shadow dojo. The outside had been eerie, with nothing but the strange orange and red light on their paths, but the inside was a whole other deal.
It was… poorly lighted, somehow, despite the bright lights coming from outside, with candles offering a soft blue glow all around them. He wasn’t sure how the flames managed to stay in that hue, but couldn’t really focus on that when he was trying to avoid all the others that entered with him. Some were chatting, apparently already knowing each other.
Jay didn’t want to know anyone in here. He didn’t see the point.
There were runes everywhere as well. He had no idea of what they meant, but they were glistening too, in that same color as the candles. Plants had grown as well on the wall, somehow.
He sat on the ground, unbothered to stay up like the others. From here, he could see that the only one on the ground like him was someone with a large hat, covering most of his face. His eyes were revealed briefly when he raised his head to watch who had come here for the first trial, allowing Jay to recognize him.
He was the guy he had seen many times speak with Ras. Although speak was a light statement; more so yelling and arguing, with the latter always having the last word, letting the other clearly frustrated.
Nokt. That was his name. He remembered him due to the electrical device placed on the back of his head. Even if he wasn’t sure he had heard his name right earlier, since it seemed like he preferred to keep to himself, as proved when he lowered his hat down again, effectively shielding his expression away from everyone else.
But there was something Jay managed to see before he did.
A spark of amusement, of all things, akin to one about to watch some sort of entertainment unfold.
…Jay didn’t think he was going to like that guy.
His attention shifted back to their leader, when he hit the ground with his hammer. He gave a speech, one Jay half-listened to, about being ready to change their lives for this better form of power, and so on and so on. Monologues are always so tiring.
…Where had he heard boring monologues like these before?
A glimpse of- something, from before, barely there, that escaped him as soon as he tried to look for it, smothered away by another hit of Lord Ras’s hammer against the ground, and someone getting on their feet and walking to the center of the room. Jay thanked his luck helping out for once, since he definitely wouldn’t have heard his name if he had been first.
Watching the guy, he gave way to his urge, and started to play with the fur around his neck to keep himself calm. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like his anxiety was eating him alive, starting with his insides, and pulling on his guts and get him to run away from there as fast as he could.
He gnawed on his lip. He couldn’t make himself worry about nothing. This was just… apprehension, that came with every test he had to take.
Except if he failed this one, he might’ve to be forced back into the Administration. Damn it.
Deciding on ignoring the painful cramps his overreacting unconscious gave him, he focused back on the scene before him, observing the one that had been called.
The guy nodded his head to Lord Ras, and placed the mask on his face. Jay winced, clutching his other hand around the one he was holding; he really didn’t want to know how centuries old flesh would feel on his face. But he supposed he had no choice.
Holding his breath as Ras approached the gong, he tried to think of the power that wearing this mask would mean for him. He knew there was something about a forbidden technique of some sort, the Shatterspin, which he’d been taught the basics, but what about his powers? What would be the effects?
He’d seen Cinder. He’d seen how much quicker and agile he became whenever the mask would fuse with him, and gift him an armor instead of staying as a mask. The red eyes, he wasn’t that fan of, but if it meant finding who he was supposed to be, by feeling his powers better then ever before…
The scar under his left eye throbbed, forcing him to rub it. Not that he didn’t feel his power now, but he didn’t quite think he had a good grasp on it. He managed a few zaps here and there, and sparks to help him when it was completely dark, but other then that, not much else.
There is potential within you, Jay Walker. These had been Lord Ras’s words.
And he couldn’t wait to unleash that potential.
The gong was hit a first time.
Jay jumped out of his skin when the one put on trial shrieked in pain. Someone beside him gasped, letting him know that he definitely wasn’t the only one to be surprised.
He walked back, holding his face in pain and doubling over as the mask’s glowed that bright cyan. Not letting him the time to rest, or even wonder what was happening to him, the gong was hit a second time with a sound that echoed all around them. It was enough to make the room shake, and dust fall from the unexpectedly stable walls of this place. All the blue lights turned red.
The guy screamed again. Jay watched as he tried to remove the mask, pulling on his hair when trying to remove the strap that kept it in place. But it didn’t budge, despite his knuckles turning white from the force he was using for this one thing.
Jay felt sick, witnessing all this. Glancing around, he noticed how disappointed Lord Ras looked, and the way Cinder let his disgust appear.
…Shit.
His attention shifted back to the man in the center when he heard him puke. From here, he couldn’t really see what came out, and couldn’t help his flinch when the sound of retching reached his ears.
Chocking sounds could then be heard. It surely didn’t help when he threw his head back, gasping for air, too far gone to realize that he was making things worse.
Jay couldn’t look away from him. Doing so… doing so would mean he wasn’t cut for this role. It would mean showing weakness, and not being worthy of the chance offered to him.
Doing so would mean abandoning the man to his fate, a far side of his brain whispered. Jay took a deep breath, brushing that thought aside, just like he always had back in the Administration. Kindness and pity weren’t the way to go when one wanted to master Shatterspin, and the power of the Wolf Clan. He remembered Ras’s warnings too well.
Speaking of which, he couldn’t help but check a second time their leader, breath getting stuck in his throat when he did.
Lord Ras was watching them, not the poor guy struggling to survive against the surges of powers that went in his body forcefully. He was quick to understand; he wanted to see who was able to stomach it, and who would be useless in the future to him. And fuck, Jay didn’t think he could do that, but he didn’t have a choice. His body and mind didn’t have a choice.
The man screamed in pure pain and terror one last time, turning Jay’s insides. His hands grabbed at his skin, scratching with abnormal nails that had grown after the gong had been hit a third time. It made deep wounds, forcing crimson to pour out, but it seemed like the man couldn’t care less, just wanting to get rid of that cursed mask.
He heaved, then coughed, falling on his knees with a final yell, yielding to the pressure of energy that must’ve been coursing through his body. Unable to adapt.
And then…
He fell to the ground.
As soon as he did, the red lights came back to the blue hue they had first seen when entering the room.
When others gasped, and some cried, one, Jay heard a snicker. He looked around, trying to see who was sick enough to have that kind of reaction to someone dropping dead in front of them.
He frowned when he found out who.
Now he knew why Nokt had seemed amused at the beginning. He must’ve known this could happen. What a fucking psychopath. He looked away from him, and back at the center of the dojo.
Ras growled, stomping his boot on the ground at the result. He then turned towards Wolf Warriors, a finger pointed at the now dead man. “Get it out of here. We aren’t done yet.”
Shit. Shit. Jay swallowed hard, unable to look away from the blood, as well as the one the corpse left behind when pulled away in a messy trail.
Their leader hit the ground with his hammer, demanding attention from everyone in the room. “The reason he failed, was his resilience against our power. To become powerful, one must learn to bend to the rules that make it all. Only then, can you be one with the Wolf Clan’s powers.” He pointed his weapon towards the recruits, snarling when most of them took a step back in front of it. “Another one of his mistake was doubting me, and being a coward.”
His eyes scanned the room, glaring. “If any of you feel that way as well, you may as well leave. Now.”
That would be a mistake. Yet, some people immediately hurried out, not needing to be told twice. Not a lot- four of them, he counted. Jay closed his eyes, and tried to ignore how two Wolf Warriors followed after them, their claws ready.
What had he gotten himself into? What was going to happen to him?! How many others were going to die? Not that he questioned of the others’ loyalty, but there was no doubt that witnessing that guy’s death must’ve changed their will to join.
Now that Jay knew this was the consequence of failure… fuck. Fuck. His guts were twisting in there, hurting his stomach physically, at this point. His ears were ringing, clouding his mind from everything else. What if all that he had done, all this ‘surviving’ shit, had only lead to his demise?
Jay clenched his fists. He’d never allow that. Cinder had managed to do it, so why wouldn’t he?
This was an opportunity. To find purpose, and a place where he would belong. He couldn’t screw this up. He wasn’t a damn coward. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to fight back the power that was about to allow him a new beginning.
This was a cruel world after all. Hadn’t he learned that over and over again? And he couldn’t be at the bottom of it all just because others weren’t able to keep up.
He would not. He would survive through it all, no matter what it meant to wear that mask.
No matter the price.
Ras called his name. He was the second one to be tested.
Taking a deep breath, he raised his head, and faced the Lord’s eyes with a fierce glare.
Slowly, he got up, ignoring how his stomach still felt like a pit, and how his head was still hurting from the panic he had felt earlier when seeing that man die, his pulse somehow perceivable in his ears.
Still, he got to the center of the room. Only when he did, his eyes found themselves unable to detach from the splatters of blood everywhere. Some were older. Some were on the walls.
They had all witnessed that many times, hadn’t they? And they hadn’t told anyone.
It was… it was…
He took a deep breath. Now wasn’t the time to loose it.
A dark paw handed the mask to him. It allowed Jay to focus his eyes in front of him, and away from the red splatters. Something he regretted doing, when meeting Ras’s eyes.
They were harsh, and unforgiving.
Jay couldn’t mess up.
He was being given a chance. A chance, that could be taken back, and handed to any other elemental master. He wasn’t the only one gifted after all, Cinder was the proof of that. Ras didn’t need him for this grand plan; he had an army, and people ready to follow his every order.
On the other hand, Jay needed Ras. And he owed that new chance at freedom, to him.
Straightening up, he grabbed his mask, and tried to not think back on how it was made of skin. Instead, he tried to concentrate on how there was metal there as well. When tying the strap behind his head, he tried to not remember how the one before him hadn’t been able to remove it when wanting to escape.
No turning back.
Darkness cornered his vision, the latter becoming defined by the constricted sight given to him.
Once settled, he placed both his arms along his body, and nodded to Ras with a dry throat. The latter growled, rearranging his hold on the hammer.
The gong was hit a first time.
The wave of its sound exploded in the room, reaching Jay’s body. It froze him, both his physical shell, and thoughts. Everything had gone silent in his mind, and around him. And he wasn’t sure if this was due to the effect of its power.
Even breathing seemed impossible, in these short seconds. He was completely petrified, finding himself feeling as if he’d been stuck in something so dense and heavy, holding him back. No noise could make it out of his mouth, despite the pain that had started to build up in both his face and chest.
Something had cracked inside of him.
Just as he sensed it, the gong was hit a second time.
It felt like a blow to his chest, making him back away. His bones felt breaking as he did, making him wonder if they could’ve been weakened by the power he had been hoping to obtain.
His ears unblocked. It caused him to be suddenly dizzy, and made his head heavy with the lack of oxygen.
Then his breath hitched, as soon as he noticed the paralyzing effect was gone.
Like breaking out of shallow waters and reaching the surface, he gasped, greedily sucking air. His legs wobbled, making him feel like he was about to loose balance, as both his hands reached for his neck to protect the precious air he was barely able to keep in his trachea.
His skin was itchy everywhere. Something was going on inside of him, turning his veins icy cold.
Something was wrong, and hurting. Something was very wrong.
The rush of his blood too was fast, and strong, making him think that his blood vessels were doubling in size, and perhaps stretching his skin as it grew, leading to his articulations becoming harder to move. It left the impression that everything was about to blow inside of him.
For a second, he wondered if he had died, and if he was about to fall on the floor, just like the man before him had, but then realized that the sound of his heartbeat was still there, and as fucking loud as it was quick.
He was alive. He was-
The gong was hit for the third, and last time.
The final wave forced him to puke, which he went along with, trying his best to not suffocate with it like the first guy. A blink, and he noticed that it was blood, coming out from his mouth in worrying amounts.
His insides abruptly felt like shattering, and he yelled, as his whole body seemed burning up, a harsh and painful contrast compared to what he’d been feeling seconds ago.
Jay wasn’t able to keep a shriek from escaping him, when the power he’d felt in him for as long as he could remember reached for his limbs, and exploded. The scent of burning skin made it to his nostrils, and he held his middle, as if trying to stop his insides from escaping him like his powers had. Only when he did, he sensed his lightning breaking apart.
Millions of pieces, made of parts of his powers, going absolutely insane, and making his body spasm.
Getting electrocuted was a familiar feeling. One he despised, but was never able to escape for too long when it came to dealing with his own incompetence and ignorance. Or when he would redirect lighting on their ship, to protect the ones he cared about.
But just like his power, these thoughts were shattered, making him cry, as his head hurt too much for him to keep up with.
So he didn’t.
He let these words and images get torn into pieces, shards feeling like they came to his heart, pulling his whole torso in a constricting sensation that once again made him think like he was about to die, just like that. The boiling sensation kept on increasing, causing his whole body to feel like he was burning alive.
Something clicked, then, and his vision became too blurry to understand. The red lights made it so he didn’t know where he was anymore, the distant image of people he used to know breaking apart again and again, causing his mind to shatter as well.
And once it was all gone, he vomited again, hugging himself tightly as if trying to at least keep his body in one piece. His shoulders slowly felt heavier, and the fur that had been around his sensitive skin suddenly ceased to be.
Though this was the last thing Jay cared about, as he fell to his knees, the collide with the ground making his bones almost rattle. The way his fingers kept twitching made him wonder how they hadn’t broken yet.
His breathing was difficult, with a voice that had turned hoarse at yells and cries of pain he hadn’t even been aware to be letting out.
He was about to die. He didn’t know how the feeling was so familiar, perhaps due to the blood that accumulated in his breathing pipes, akin to water, filling his lungs until there could be no air passing through. His heartbeat was diminishing, yet it stayed as the only thing Jay could hear.
So he caught it. He caught his heart, for it was all that was left to him.
His will to stay alive. His will to have something of his own, that would make him whole.
And it was a heart burning with rage.
This, was what pulled all the pieces back. What once had tried to escape him, was now caught back by the sheer amount of anger he felt at how fate and destiny had treated him.
What does it mean? The question went away as soon as it brushed his mind, the violent waves of power crushing anything that wasn’t meant to be like it away.
Thoughts. Feelings.
They no longer mattered.
All that mattered was power. Stitching back all that had been separated.
His lightning felt growing. Launching itself and balancing his body in positions and forms that meant both a cry for a help and the picture of a violent force forbidding anyone to get close.
Then came the fusion.
The skin that made the inside of the mask slithered in through his pores, pulling and tearing its way through to have full possession of him, and share its cursed strength to the one that had dared to agree with its ways. Jay wanted to wonder if this was what it meant to meddle with dark magic.
But he couldn’t even do that, screaming again with his broken voice at the violent intrusion he had allowed for someone else’s game.
Foolish. Foolish. He always was foolish.
The foreign matter didn’t bother to be careful, before settling in- although not without damaging the inside of his mouth some more. It forced out more blood out, kicking out whatever was left that wouldn’t be useful to this newfound power.
A final deep breath, and Jay felt…
Liberated.
Gone, was the weight that had been caused by his soul and mind shattering and leaving behind too many pieces to carry. His whole body now felt light, lungs freed enough to give him as much space as needed for the air he needed to live.
The power felt lurking in his systems, flowing and giving him feelings he’d never felt before.
It was pure bliss.
After a few minutes, Jay blinked, his vision coming back, although with nothing to muffle it this time. The euphoric sensation slowly escaped him, letting reality settle back in his mind. Feelings of what was around and on him came back, making him tighten his fists.
He felt as though his sweat had drenched all of his clothes, along the blood. His chest kept expanding in grand moves, each breath making his body quiver, as he tried to catch his breath properly, and return oxygen to his brain.
When he did, his head returned to its previous heavy state, with each pulse increasing the pressure at an impossible rate. Yet, this stayed incredibly dull compared to what having worn the mask the first time had felt like.
He opened and closed his mouth, stretching his jaw to check if it hadn’t changed, or if the muscles there hadn’t torn apart. They had certainly felt so. He checked his limbs as well, particularly his hands, by opening and closing them multiple times.
Everything was good, it seemed.
Bringing his hands up, he checked his face, wanting to make sure everything was still there, and if he hadn’t just imagined the mask going inside of his skin.
But he hadn’t. The mask wasn’t here anymore.
He rubbed at his neck, but scratched himself, making him hiss. He looked at his hands.
Claws had grown, there. The gloves hadn’t even torn, having adapted to the new form they had gained. Closing his eyes, he then oversaw how his powers reacted to the newly added strength.
The response was immediate, surge of powers making his body twitch, and forcing him to gasp for air again. Opening back his eyes, he saw these bridges of electricity between his fingers, going all the way to the tip of his fingers, before disappearing, over and over again.
He chuckled, snapping his fingers. It created a small blow, enough to shake his curls. He then got back up, not bothered to look at the people around him, despite the loud whispers. Directing his gaze in front of him, he then aimed for a wall with his fingers, before sending his lightning there.
The stone that made the wall exploded, pieces of wood and rocks flying everywhere in the room, and allowing dust to float freely.
Jay snickered, feeling this happy buzzing inside of him, always here in the aftermath.
Fuck yeah.
He had missed this so much.
…I wonder who thisused to be.
Walking away from the gravestone, he added the wood to the fire he had prepared for the night.
A caravan was in that junkyard, but he didn’t feel like he was allowed to get inside, even if no one was there. No matter how cold it could get in the desert at night, this wasn’t his home, and he was simply there as a guest. He wasn’t even sure why he had traveled all the way here, but by the time he had realized where he had gone to, the sun had been long gone, leaving him with no choice but to set up camp here.
At least this spot was empty. It was a welcoming change compared to the crowded and suffocating places that had been the Administration or staying with the Wolf Clan. Although he had always been on his own in these previous positions, here the loneliness was one much better then what he’d dealt with in these last few years.
Jay hoped that there at least wouldn’t be any wild creatures to attack him. Fighting back without his powers had proven to be more difficult then he had expected. Thankfully, he had kept the gun from his time in the Administration; a great way to defend himself.
He sat on the ground, and looked at the fire crackling in front of his feet, relieving the itch on his face by scratching it as much as he could. No doubt his skin had not only turned red, but with marks left behind as well. Damn it.
…Being without that mask was going to be very hard. It had adapted to his skin- or maybe it had gifted him a second one. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t understand any of this.
All he knew, was that whenever he had been wearing it, even if for a short time, it had been granting him such an incredible thrill that he already knew just couldn’t be compared.
Oh, he had felt like he was on top of the world. As if nothing could’ve ever stopped his powers and him, from getting back at everything that had been unfair to him up to this point.
Now, all he had left were scars. From wearing this cursed mask, and bearing these powers that had never been truly his, but another’s hidden through his own element.
Jay had no idea if he missed the mask, its power, or if this was all caused by how much he missed his lightning.
His eye twitched; he should’ve listened to his urge, in that moment, and killed her. Destroyed her. And now that he hadn’t, the feeling of regret was unbearable.
He wanted to tear at his skin, but he didn’t even have the claws left for that. Only his poorly taken care of nails, dirty and gnawed by his need to relieve his anxiety and surges of powers every time he hadn’t been wearing the mask.
…Jay missed it all, as much as he cursed it all.
Had he not followed Ras, he would have never lost his powers. Had he stayed in the Administration, in this false life of his, he would have never been bothered by flashes and addictions he had never been prepared to face. He would’ve found his own way to his demise, sure, but at least through a path never led by others.
How had any of what I heard so farsounded right? How could I fall for their lies?
Jay frowned, thinking back on what he had listened to again. He didn’t believe them at all. Their fake stories…
Everyone lies. They’re all the same. Great warrior my ass. Jay now didn’t doubt that Ras could’ve lied to him, and it upset him greatly. What for?! To give him hope, and then crush it all in the next moment because of his so called failure? Gah!
He thought back on that woman he had fought. She too, had pretended to know him.
The sweet tone he could remember from her voice made him grit his teeth.
Even if she and her team had been right, why had they never come for him? It had been years. He had found himself all over again, since then.
“Let’s theorize that it was because they had no idea of where I was. Fine.” Jay clenched his fists. “Why didn’t they come get me when I was kicked out?”
His words were barely above a whisper, not even heavy enough to be carried around by the wind.
He stopped moving, forbid himself from flinching, focusing on the sounds of the burning fire so he could shift it as a background noise so his brain wouldn’t have to bother itself with. He then closed his eyes, and just… listened.
Strong wind, making the abandoned metal around him creak softly, and passing through small and tight openings, whistling all around him.
Deep down, he knew he waited for another noise. The snap of a branch, or the crunch of the sand under someone’s shoe that would make his hair bristle in apprehension. The sign that someone would come for him.
So he waited.
Until moments later, silence was still all that answered him.
He cursed, bringing his knees up to hug them, and huddle in a smaller position.
Jay didn’t know what else he had expected. Of course this wouldn’t happen.
He was alone. He’d always be, in the end. And it seemed like… he wasn’t enough. Not enough to make up for the help given to him, nor enough for people that were supposed to care about him to come back and find him. Loneliness was all that awaited him. He understood that.
… And despite feeling like this, he didn’t feel as he thought low he would’ve.
No. Quite the contrary.
Jay was… appeased. After all, that meant he could finally build a life. Even if it wouldn’t be much.
Throughout the years, he had learned that he had to move forward in order to survive. To do as told, and never question what he was ordered to do, or face consequences. Whether it had been the Administration, or Ras’s Wolf Clan.
So now, knowing for sure that no one and nothing was going to hold him back was freeing. Enough to get rid of these incessant thoughts bugging his mind, at least. Yet not quite enough to get rid of that pressure in his stomach.
Because all of this meant that he had nothing. He never had, and he never would. It left him… empty.
At the end of the day, it meant that he was nothing.
He watched the sparks escaping the fire. Like lightning’s, in a sense, but much less volatile, and not as comforting. He followed their trails, until his gaze ended up towards the stars. Had he known their names, a lifetime ago? The paths they traced, and how they never changed?
But it must’ve changed after the Merge. There was no doubt about that. Even something supposed to never be in motion except throughout centuries had completely shifted, no matter how infinite and big it must’ve always felt to him.
Everything had changed.
How was he supposed to find his past self if nothing was the same?
I don’t. That’s how. There was no need to waste time for something so meaningless. At least he hoped.
He sighed, glad to be protected from the chill of the night.
Warmth whenever it was cold was always a better thing. It was a comforting presence he had never admitted to enjoy in front of him. His… his heart kinda regretted that now.
Jay blinked at the dark sky.
…Who-
Something flashed before his eyes, too fast for him to identify what it was. It aimed for him, reaching its target in a millisecond.
Lightning had just struck him.
He shouted, feeling his powers immediately coming back to him, making him fall on his hands and knees.
Fuck. He hated that feeling. The one of his body getting electrocuted by his own life source, because he just couldn’t control it right.
Come on! He hit the ground with his fist, spitting on the grass as he grasped at the insanity of his power. He kept gritting his teeth, until finally, the lightning settled in, and buzzed happily to be back in its rightful place, with its rightful owner.
Jay took a deep breath. Yeah. Missed you too.
Since the start, his lightning had been the only thing there for him. To be reunited with it again brought tears to his eyes, both of joy, and anger.
At having lost them in the first place. At losing them to that damned water ninja.
I love you, Jay. I will always love you.
The memory of the woman’s desperate face flashed back when he shut his eyes to get rid of his tears.
An act. It wasn’t that difficult to pretend emotions after all, was it?
If he ever saw her again… he was pretty sure he wouldn’t hesitate to kill her.
She hadn’t hesitated to defeat him. Pretty fucked up for someone who was supposed to care, like she wanted him to believe.
Or maybe she’d been following orders, like I was.
Jay shook his head. Whatever the reason, it clearly wouldn’t justify anything. Nor would it tarnish the way his heart dripped hatred into his blood, making him even angrier then before.
The medallion felt heavy in his pocket.
Too heavy, this time.
He took it, and looked at the shape.
…It was a missing piece. He could see that now.
Jay didn’t want to be that. The missing piece of someone instead of being his own person. Of a puzzle he had nothing to do with.
What kind of life could he expect if all he was supposed to be was a pawn placed by others, and never able to have his own free will? The piece in a long chain of supposed important people. Full of important tasks, to serve the greater good of some kind of Great Administration, or a Great Cause of some Delusional Clan.
He’d be no one’s missing piece. No one’s lost part.
He was his own soul. No matter how shattered it felt, and how many little pieces of it were left.
Jay threw the heavy piece in the fire, the weight in his heart never tarnishing during the long time he watched it in the flames, as the moon advanced its course. He stayed that way, holding his limbs tightly against him, while taking deep yet suffocating breaths.
Until, it finally started to melt.
The slightest tint of gold, pearling down as it became a liquid again, and advanced on the darker metal it was attached to.
Never again.
#ninjago jay#hat's fics#hat's words#ninjago dr s2p2#ninjago dragons rising s2p2 spoilers#< I haven't checked the leaks for s3 and i don't want to so idk what they got in store for Jay#but i decided to go with him going solo in this one#idk it's fun#also I kinda started the fic way before s2p2 sooo sorry if it's not lore accurate? oops?#tw gore#tw blood#tw wounds#tw death
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Cw for blood, implied sewy-side (text) and death
DOOMED YAOI DOOMED YAOI
#brittcorruption#jsab#just shapes and beats#pink corruption#tpc#the pink corruption#iris#circusic#tw blood#tw death#tw sui implied#iris x circusic#fruityberries
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my art dump for Seven Years.
I'll add more art and put links to the chapters here as I post them on ao3 🙂
masterpost for my rottmnt ao3 fanfics and art.
🔹🔹🔹
Title Picture
chapter 1 - Seven Years, or One Day?
🔹🔹🔹
Alone in the Med Bay
chapter 2 - It Begins (coming soon to ao3)
🔹🔹🔹
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#shaotie#shattered_ontheinside#angst#leo angst#fan art#ao3#au#rise leo#rise donnie#rise raph#rise mikey#rise splinter#rise april#rise casey jones#post movie#rise movie#rise fanfic#rise of the tmnt#fan fiction#fanfic#fandom#fanart#tw death#tw dying#tw illness#archiveofourown.org#archive of our own
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🦎I don't know if we'll ever post this, or if it will stay in drafts forever. Fuck it, it's trans day of remembrance.
But yes, we do. We dated a wonderful Aussy girl, Anne. When her family disowned her, she had college and HRT and some girlfriends and nothing else. Then she had dropped out, so just a job and HRT and girlfriends. Then she lost the job and god damn it but she got alcohol in return.
And at that point it felt hopeless, as a girlfriend. She wouldn't take any advice, sought no further help. Nothing cheered her up, nothing got her off the bottle. The girlfriends left over months, and we did too. The day her last roommate moved out was the last day of her life.
And her family pasted over everything. Her facebook memorial page is half screaming at the "people who did this to her" and half vapid attempts to prove her "boyhood". They barred her friends from attending the funeral.
Nothing to do but live on and fight for better for the next Anne.
do you ever think about all the girls who's corpses are placed beside portraits of dissociated, dead eyed boys? do you think of all the girls who had their hair cropped short and their bodies stuffed into ill fitting old suits before being put in their caskets? do you ever think of all the parents crying over dead boys they made up in their heads because they were too proud to love their daughters? do you ever think of all the girls being mourned in whispers to keep from offending those same parents? do you ever think of all the girls who are killed a second time, their memory sacrificed in service of a convenient fiction of an inexplicably sad boy who took his own life for no real reason?
do you ever think about them?
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currently writing a poem about a guy’s best friend turning into a zombie and FOR SOME REASON MY BRAIN IS SUPPLING BUCK AND EDDIE AS THE PEOPLE IN THIS POEM???
I could see buck dying in a car crash, coming back to life a couple hours later as zombie sleeping in the same bed as Eddie, breaking up with his girlfriend then eating her when he finds out she cheated on him, and then buck and Eddie bury the remains in the middle of the night. LIKE WHY CAN I ACTUALLY IMAGINE A BUDDIE AU OF THIS
so zombie buck au when?
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Goo Kim x Reader | The Forgotten
Disclaimer | fem!reader | Angst | Lots of Angst | Death wc|1.2k Note: I did not expect that I'd be gone for so long so sorry lmao. I don't know if this is a come back, but if I have the time to write I will :)
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
I'd say 14+ as death and kind of torture...| •─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────••─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
You weren’t a hateful person. You’d like to think you were the type of person who’d give anybody the benefit of the doubt.
That was the reason you didn’t mind Ria at first. She was smart, headstrong; something Goo’s group of misfits lacked. Even if she hung at his every word, every move. Even when the sparkling look in her eye became something deeper than just simple admiration for a leader.
You would have liked to think the reason Goo kept you around was because of the contrast between your characters. You were silent, but not shy, strong but not boastful. You’d fed into the delusion of him seeing his long-lost friend, Gun, inside of you.
That must have been the reason he’d forgotten about you, the reason she became the apple of his eye. You’d simply become too complacent, too boring. He bored of your attitude, your exciting spark dwindling behind hers, until it’d been completely snuffed out, outshined in its dull glow.
You wouldn’t deny your feelings for Goo, your utmost admiration for the strongest man you knew. You knew you’d be able to support him from the back, from the sidelines, even if he relied more on her strategies, her ideas and her warnings.
Even when it started to hurt, when your days distorted into one blurry glow of nothingness, passing by like a muffled videotape. Only then, when your days became bleak and rainy, even when the starry sun shone in the sky, did you truly look at yourself.
Your gaunt face, sunken eyes, brittle bones; you were nothing but a corpse, waiting for one final push before you tripped and fell off that sparkly, golden bridge. It was no wonder he couldn’t bare to look at you.
You were no longer perfect, no longer strong.
You were a miserable, conniving beast; rotting from the inside as your organs decayed alongside your worthless heart. You’d be happy to be rid of the useless, betraying organ.
You’d have escaped this predicament if you’d been smarter, stronger. Like Ria.
Though, it seemed she wasn’t very smart after all.
She’d gotten herself caught, before you, nonetheless.
You’d have laughed if you weren’t nailed to the wall by chains. Though, it wasn’t really a wall, no, it was the mesh of a rickety plane, gliding a couple one-hundred feet over the ocean.
Ria wasn’t in any better state, purple and blue bruises marring her prefect skin. Though, you supposed, she didn’t have little chains shoved through the holes in her wrists. You flinched, shoving the thought of the dagger digging between your wrists, the harsh, grisly slide of metal heaving through your insides.
“Quiet, you shit,” one of the males snarled down at Ria, who’d been sobbing uncontrollably on the floor. You’d miscalculated her personality, it seemed. She was a weak bitch. A little punch and she’d started screaming her head off.
You’d barely made a wince when the daggers had pierced your veins, not making a sound as you felt the blood trickle down your palms, your life force along with it.
You could feel your consciousness fading with the lack of blood. Funnily enough, the chains shoved through your wounds were the only things currently stopping you from completely bleeding to death.
“Goo’s here,” one of the goons snickered, clutching his Glock like he would his shrivelled cock, which you’d make sure to rip off before you got out of here.
Unless the blood loss kicked in first.
Only someone like Goo would be able to infiltrate an aircraft hundreds of feet above ground with little detection. We all know he’s not here for you.
Of course he wasn’t here for you. He was here for his Ria, his light, his entertainment. As long as he got you out of the plane, you didn’t care what he did.
This was the final, pivotal moment, you told yourself to get over him. After this, you’d move on from him completely, find your own way in the world. You’d squash those feelings into oblivion and never think of them again.
“You know,” a snarky voice crooned from the side entrance of the plane. “I really hate it when lackeys touch my property.” His lips screwed into that familiar smirk as he looked over the masked men surrounding you and Ria.
That final look, now only a shard of a mirror of memories entwined like the ribbons of fate, was when you knew.
You knew it would come eventually, knowing Goo’s personality.
He glanced at your mauled wrists for barely a moment, no wince, not even pity or anger crossed his gaze. His eyes flickered to Ria’s bruised skin, and that when you knew.
He didn’t just find her entertaining. He loved her. The unemotional, murdering weapons genius was in love with Ria. Not as a fleeting, amusing conquest, he actually loved her.
He never even liked you, don’t be so naïve.
You watched in silence as one of the Goon’s snatched open the hatch of the back of the planes opening. You watched in silence as Goo jumped at Ria, wrapping her protectively in his arms without a second thought, not even throwing you a single glance.
You’d laugh if you had the energy for it, laugh at your heart being your own demise.
Your body scraped across the harsh metal floor, chains clanking against the ground, every nick and crack catching and grating against your wrists’ insides, carving away at the bone. You slid against the suction of air, it’s current pushing you closer and closer to the gaping opening, miles of blue sea expanding as far as your eye’s could see.
You glanced over shoulder, peering as far as your vision enabled. A deep, crooked part of you wished you’d never bothered to look.
In Goo’s strong, warm arms, Ria was wrapped in a safe cocoon, passed out in a heavenly embrace while her very own guardian angel peered over her with adoring eyes. He didn’t shed a single glance towards you, as you slid further and further away from them, shackles scraping like knives on a chalkboard.
Further and further, you slid away from the only man you’d ever… loved.
That man would never love you.
That man would never think of you.
That man would never spare you even a first glance.
And, predictably, you slid over the edge, body flailing about as the wind ruffled and ripped at your hair. Your body spun and spun, twirling lovingly with the punishing breeze as you hurtled closer and closer into the punishing blue.
As your body slammed into the unbreaking waves, neck snapping at the force of your unwanted body; your dying eyes gazed up at the cloudless sky; the grey that’d been clouding you dispersed into an array of azure blues.
Birds flittered and wound around each other, dancing and singing in harmony. A single, browning plane tittered into the distance, leaving not even a trace of its existence.
Maybe dying isn’t so bad after all.
But, as you slipped lower and lower into the depths of the blue sea, the new colour vanished, turning black before your body drummed across the seabed.
Your body floated aimlessly along the sand as your empty soul withered into nothingness, and before long, creatures and critters tore at your flesh as you decayed, rotting into nothing, as you had been when you were alive.
Forgotten.
#lookism#fanfiction#manhwa#goo x reader#goo kim#angst#tw death#tw torture#angst with a sad ending#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#lookism x reader
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it's the Tulpar crew! Wow, I sure hope nothing bad happens to them!
TW: blood, gore, and spoilers under cut
ouch
#i hate you j*mmy#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#captain curly#wrong organ#sjamm art#art#my art#daisuke mw#jimmy mw#curly mw#swansea mw#anya mw#cw blood#cw gore#cw death#tw death#tw gore#cw disturbing imagery#tw blood
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