#tw brainfog

[marshmallowprotection]

hi! this one might be a little heavy but could I get some comfort from ge saeran? so i have some brain fog as a long-term side effect of medical treatment i went through when I was younger. i have some degree of memory issues (my short term memory kinda stinks and a lot of my memories are really foggy) and a bit of processing issues sometimes (not helpful when coupled with adhd :/) and I feel like I'm not quite as sharp as I used to be. most of the time I don't think about it too much but sometimes it's really really frustrating, especially if I keep forgetting things or if I'm having trouble in college.

I imagine saeran probably has some similar side effects from taking the elixir for so long so I feel like he'd understand, even if the situations are different

GE Saeran knows the distress of losing time. It happened all the time when he was in that place. There are a lot of memories he can't even recall to this day. He isn't sure if he will be able to recover from what happened to him.

Some of those memories weren't the best and other ones might have been but he'll never know. That makes it difficult for him to deal with things day to day. Not because he knows that he'll never remember what he lost, but because he knows that those issues are still with him today.

Sometimes he gets worked up and it makes things incredibly hard for him.

He'll forget where his keys are, he'll forget where he set his wallet, he'll forget what he was supposed to be doing that day, or what have you. It's not hard to put the pieces back together because he does have a system to help with his memory, but it doesn't change the fact that it can be very distressing to go through that.

There is no way to put that feeling into words. A lot of people just don't understand what it feels like to lose control of your mind when you're overwhelmed. It's not something you can control. Your brain does it and no matter how much you fight it, you still have to navigate through it.

If you know what that feels like, then it's easy to understand what somebody else must be going through even If your circumstances don't align completely.

When it comes to you, his ultimate goal is to make sure that you feel comfortable in your own skin. You did that for him so why wouldn't he want to do that for you in return? Why would he leave you to have a hard time with your thoughts when you wouldn't let him do that to himself? It would be hypocritical and put into question everything you've ever done for him.

He wants to reciprocate your care. This is a partnership! It's not one-sided!

There are things he does he can share with you to make things feel easier. He's been doing a lot of thinking and practicing when it comes to his mental health. In the past, he coped in ways that weren't that great for him. But, now he's looking for things that won't hurt more in the long run. Like taking a nap when he feels afraid late at night, or going into the garden to shut off his fears with the sounds of gentle wind.

When he's confused, if he lets it consume him, he knows he won't be able to do anything. He writes things down so he doesn't forget the tasks that need to be done. He repeats mantras to himself to help his memories in his lowest moments. He looks to you for confirmation if he's afraid of his perception of time. You help each other that way. He can do the same for you.

On the flip side of that, maybe there's something you do that could be helpful to him. After all, two heads are better than one when you need to find an out-of-the-box thought. This is something where you can balance each other out. If you forget something, he can make a note of it so it helps you later on, or vice versa. 

But, honestly, what you're looking for might be somebody who is there for you in the most frustrating moments. When you are so frustrated because it feels like you're forgetting everything you know, you need somebody in your corner who can sit with you and remind you that it's not the end of the world and this is something that you can work through.

It doesn't control you, nor does it define your abilities, it's a part of you and it can be worked with as long as you take a deep breath and let it be. The more you struggle and strain, the harder it becomes for your brain. So, relax. Breathe. Let Saeran hold you when you need it and take care of yourself so that he can remind you how much he is in love with you! How much he wants to make sure that you feel the safest you can with him.

Saeran's advice is to "slow down, breathe, and let your head settle until you can remember again. You aren't going to lose memories or time forever. You need to be patient. Let's wait until you feel like you can remember what you needed, my love."

[futurewife]

Ven please, I'm begging you to go to therapy. Your posts hurt me so much cause I recognize myself and people I've loved in them and I always wanna say smth to make you feel better but I know from experience that that only helps for a little while or doesn't help at all or can even make things worse. But you don't have to suffer like this forever!! You can get better and there is help!! And as a fellow pmdd sufferer you can get help with that too. Idk how you feel about medication but going on birth control continuously so you never have periods or using antidepressants or mood stabilizers just for the two nightmare weeks after ovulation can help so much. Please please please I worry about you and I know you can have a good life if you get help! you're beautiful and creative and you have everything you need you just have to figure out how to access it and use it and I know you can do it. I know your F/Os would want you to and I know your future real life S/Os who are waiting for you would want you to too. You deserve to be happy instead of feeling like a ghost all the time.

Thank you anon I appreciate the concern, feel a little bit embarrassed about oversharing now but you know what...sometimes you just have to say it out loud somewhere. As you would know the nature of the disorder means there's often not much that can be done in terms of talking myself out of the way it feels cause biology is so (detrimentally) overpowering and intensifies other mental health issues and generally all pre-existing negative feelings about ones' existence. The ghost analogy is apt and I've often used this to describe how I relate to life and connecting with others. now idk if I can overcome myself and thrive but maybe I could switch some things up and see if it makes it suck a little less

I was on ssris constantly for years previously (edit: and therapy on and off) before I stopped taking them but your ask has me considering intermittent dosing even if I dislike the side effects just to see what happens. I thought I could just grit my teeth and bare it (put myself to sleep between being wracked by ugly crying as I cannot stand being conscious in my own mind) every month in lieu of meds but maybe I can't rawdog slog through dark funhouse mirror evil pmdd reality on my own/shouldn't feel that I have to in order to not "lose"

I was very touched by your reaching out and compassionately disagreeing with me (lol) and it means a lot from another person with pmdd. It helps to think someone out there sees the value in me as I am right now, and that someone else is also fighting their own good fight. When you said I have everything I need I just have to figure out how to access it and use it and you know I can do it you sound just like my grandma. (<3)

[skincareroutine]

i have to go get chipotle today cus i started a calorie deficit like 3 weeks ago. n i put the wrong numbers to track the calories im meant to be eating everyday so ive been eating WAY lower than what im supposed to be. so i double checked the numbers today w a bmr calc n im supposed to be eating like basically an additional meal everyday. which i havent been doing um lost my period body went into starvation mode brainfog etc. uhhhh fucking idiot calorie deficit on my part. so im gonna get chipotle n re think what the meaning of this whole thing was

[aeriona]

UNRECOGNISABLE IN MY ABERRATION.

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

my mum supports me in getting accessibility aids when i break down about it but the moment i'm not upset or in tears then it's what if people don't want to talk to you because you're in a wheelchair and what if they think you're fragile and i want you to make friends but this might not help and-

[waveofmutilation-uksurfmix]

guys sorry if I’m weird I’m possibly? In a depressive episode rn

[queer-crusader]

What in the FUCK is even happening anymore with my body

[queencvbra]

genuinely considering that I might have a mild concussion

[phocids]

got too tired and now I can't sleep

[everswift]

forgot to take pregabalin for the first time ever last night and ngl it's been a LONG time since i've felt so awful

[butchreg]

regressor ! allison mcroberts headcanons !!

requested by @theyamjam !! eek so very excited that somebody asked me about this !! would absolutely love to chat kcfh agere with you btw .. tehe i wanted to wait until i started my rewatch and i've just finished the first episode and the mailbox scene of allison and patty brought me back to my roots ( pattison yuri and agere allison ). likely will be adding to these as i continue watching (*-`ω´- )人. anyway without further ado here we go !! ( upcoming list here btw ^_^ )

cw / tws : talk of being drunk / alcohol , allusion to sh , cursing

allison is very much a vent and trauma regressor. it is entirely involuntary for her and often a difficult experience for her. for years it was something that she kept to herself , something she was ashamed of and didn't have the words for even. she tries to keep to herself but if she's small enough she'll go to patty though reluctantly.

she tends to regress a lot when she feels negative emotions or really any overwhelming emotion. she's gotten so good at repressing her emotions , especially the negative ones that she often doesn't realize how she's feeling until it explodes out of her in some kind of outburst , leaving her feeling small and helpless.

she tends to regress when she gets drunk. those around her often chalk up her childish behavior to the alcohol but drunk allison is almost always small allison. she's a bit clingier when she's in this state , following patty around jabbering to her about whatever comes to her head. the typically quiet , reserved allison becomes quite the talker , often spilling thoughts she'd otherwise never let see the light of day. drunk words are sober thoughts or however the saying goes.

regressed ! allison who lashes out when she's overwhelmed. yes , she punched the mailbox , it's far better than the alternative of taking her pent up anger and disappointment out on herself , or god forbid kevin. i think this is where patty finds out about her regression.

she's silent , not sure what to say. that pesky brainfog , the one that leaves her feeling like she did when she was younger , much younger.. is back , having taken over. she shakes her aching hand , biting back tears. "you throwing a little tantrum out here ?" comes from the other woman with a chuckle. god the way patty teases her makes her feel so horribly fucking childish. it infuriates her , really. embarrasses her.

she plops down on the stoop , tears threatening to spill. she supposes she'll wait for patty to retreat , she will not give her the satisfaction of seeing her cry. strangely enough patty seems to want to talk , really talk. allison spills , she spills all the thoughts that have been trapped in her head. fuck it , what else does she have to lose ? she waits for rejection , that casual laugh patty can never seem to suppress when allison is in trouble. yet it doesn't come. patty moves to sit on the stoop with her , being almost nice ? sure she calls allison crazy but it's the nicest she's ever been for certain.

after this time they have some kind of understanding. patty doesn't quite know what to make of the cloudy feeling either but she tends to become .. softer around allison. checking up on her sometimes , without even being prompted. it's different , but a welcome change for certain.

allison who smashes things , carves naughty words into the perfect unmarred surfaces of the bottom of her nightstand or a drawer. never on her pottery barn coffee table though , make no mistake. she needs some kind of outlet and sure it's destructive but it does help her feel better , less hurt , more in control.

she loooves treats. she's partial to powdered jelly donuts but they are so very messy and the powder always gets all over her face and clothes. if it's a secret treat she's indulging in , she likes cookies , mainly more plain ones like shortbread or sugar. she often indulges in sweets as a reward for going a certain amount of time without an outburst or for getting all of her tasks done in a day.

oftentimes when she's regressed she's stationary , feeling too overwhelmed to move much or speak. she'll often curl in on herself to make herself smaller and cry or just dissociate or think.

allison doesn't have any gear. she's far too shy , embarrassed , even ashamed and afraid of her regression to fully embrace it. she's also afraid of kevin or neil finding it if she were to purchase any. plus money is tight , and lord knows kevin would question her about where the money had gone.

a part of her longs for a bottle or even a pacifier but it's too risky she decides , though she does often chew or suck on her thumb when she's by herself , often until it's all wrinkly and noticeably so. she'll often hide her hands in her pockets , and nobody seems to notice all that much. nobody except patty who gently teases her in private when she notices the state of allison's thumb.

she sets rules for herself. for example : no swearing ( at least aloud ) no matter how much patty disapproves. patty thinks it's hilarious to try to coax allison into saying a bad word , groaning and rolling her eyes whenever allison drops an "eff" instead of the full word.

[junkartie]

A week of forcing myself to recover from a 8 year ed by eating nothing but calorie rich healthy shit has changed me as a person. Apparently i was not evil and couldnt feel 8/10 human emotions i was just hungry. What the fuck

[pupscomfortcorner]

ADHD Brainfog Moodboard

a little cursed / unpleasant

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[enbies-and-felonies]

okay if u see me on here break into my house and smack the back of my head in a situation reminiscent of gibbs smacking tony in ncis and tell me to do my school

[brovum]

This post is outdated, thank you for your help

<3

[aminojackal]

Oh, so you’re saying that drinking a whole bottle of hot sauce will kill me...?

... Heh. You fool. You poor, poor fool.

You don’t get it, do you?

I’m.      Built.       Different.