#turns my eyes off and listens to it
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(mostly) every time takaginzura said each others names in the final (and some bonus moments) compilation i threatened to make six months ago
accidentally made it funny. its funny i promise u can trust me. WAS wheezing at my desk over some of these
#main bonus: zura continuing not being able to recognize his dearest loved ones kjhsdf idiot moe ^_^#sopping wet gintoki posting#gintama#videos#god the final is so lazy artwise that elevator double takasugi 'gintoki' is two different shots. i wasnt even trying to splice them.#and he and gintoki look so ugly in the. gintoki stab the terminal run across rubble trying to reach sugi scene. WHICH IS WILD BC THEY#PACKED THAT ENTIRE SCENE W SO MANY SICK MOMENTS. THAT LOOK LIKE GARBAGE LOL. ah well#turns my eyes off and listens to it#my beautiful faildaughters
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my martha knight au in a nutshell:
Danny/Martha: see up here?
Danny/Martha: *taps skull*
Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage
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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*
Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--
Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--
Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--
Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--
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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself
Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)
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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid
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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--
Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!
Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?
Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)
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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.
Danny/Martha: do you understand me
Falcone:... crystal, ma'am
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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*
Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*
Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--
(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)
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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.
Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.
Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]
#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it#im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#fem danny fenton#female danny fenton#martha knight au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dp x dc#giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks#points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread#LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY#bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away#martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades#marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed#what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make#the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all#fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)
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Funny how all it takes is a couple of conversations with a cis straight man about gender to make me go "yup I'm definitely not cis"
#listen I adore my stepfather ok but he's got a pretty traditional view of gender#he's very respectful of others and doesn't enforce it on anyone else#and I think it's not that toxic all things considered bc he sees 'manhood' as being primarily about being hard working and protecting other#but it's still very gender essentialist#and he sees a lot of things as 'man things' and 'woman things'#and talks about skills and roles that are 'men's'#and I'm just like well but I do a lot of those things. but I identify with a lot of the things you describe.#and he tries to go around it like 'ahh well but you have personal history with that' etc etc#we get along really well tho we don't fight or anything but it's interesting to me#it makes me realize just how much I'm outside of the binary in the eyes of cis people#and how much 'trying to be a man' or 'trying to be a woman' are things that hold no emotional meaning to me(personally)#I could not care less what makes me masculine or feminine or if either of those labels are revoked for some reason#taking on the label of woman or man feels like a burden to me bc it always comes with a set of expectations#I just wanna be me yk. I just want people to see me through the lens of 'this is a person'#'this is what this person likes. this is how this person behaves'#I just wanna turn off gender. can I do that? like just flip a switch and no one perceives me as anything anymore#in a perfect world maybe#sleep.txt#I honestly still don't fully understand how I feel about gender but. I know that I don't like being put into a box#the box is Evil.
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I know coming from a girl who posts 57 times a day about mr sinner this sounds hypocritical as fuck but I find the carota boys kinda weird
#IDK why are you following him around 😭 that’s jobless of you#when I told my friends about them they looked at me in horror and were like “that’s so weird”#and listen ik the optics of jannik being a man make this a much different situation than if it were a female player but EYE personally#would be a little freaked out that they come to every match of mine??#jannik sinner#Like my thing is like. A Tumblr fan can turn the match off…but you booked a flight to all of them😭#tennis
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I know it’s already getting unbearably hot but who wants to come try and nap with both me and my heating pad anyway
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#it’s like a knight’s trial#having the actual worst period cramps of my life rn#and i’m Suffering with this heating pad#i hate being hot but jesus christ ow i need this to try to make my organs CHILL#and the worst thing??#absolutely NO ONE is here to cuddle with me#offensive#THIS. THIS is one of those situations where i KNOW the nap would be better with someone else😤#even if it’s just because then i wouldn’t be lonely lol#pls come nap with me and overheat and also listen to all my complaints - again OW - and love me anyway#my craziest fantasy🥵🥵#oh and also NO judging all my crying my period loves making me cry smh#im literally crying over nothing right now🙄 like it’s just a Thing™️ okay#im a CATCH#wait god the heating pad turned off for a sec#saw my life flash before my eyes when it started cooling down😓#crying even more now🙄🙄🫠#it’s going swimmingly very good like i said im a CATCH#🙃🙃🙃#sorry for all the tags idk what im even saying anymore smh#im gay and i like sleeping
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I bought a sudoku book today I'm so excited you have no idea I love sudoku
#jasper rambles#sudoku#i have an app thats rlly good if i turn my wifi off#but sometimws i wanna listen to yourube and do sudoku. also a book will be better for me eyes
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death at the movies by car seat headrest is one of the songs ever to me.
#every time i listen to it i’m like. this is it. this is The Song.#but i think i just like movies.#“it’s hard to adjust your eyes after the matinee. from the womb of the theater to the light of day”#hell yeah it is#“the spirits did it all in an hour and a half. bring me to pain. bring me to relief. turn off my brain. suspend my disbelief”#“there’s a wonderful line I can’t remember. i can’t rewind so i better remember”#“i must be saved. i must be saved before the end”#“the hero stands up and the blood rushes out of his head. but you can still see him breathing after he’s dead. and after the soul is gone#his body’s back to himself. and you’ll say ‘oh who is he? i’ve seen him in something else’”#“and so I pray to the movie screen that i’ll be shown something i’ve never seen. a revelation i can sense it but this part don’t make any#sense yet. if heaven is a film that never ends. and the characters are all my friends. or is that what we call a tv show?#or is that the real life that we’re living now?”#“could’ve been better. had such potential. could've been better. had such potential.”#i was planning on quoting just a few of my favorite lyrics but this is most of the song. so#remy rambles#car seat headrest
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vegan scones were made. dishes were not.
#I feel like I'm gonna clog up so bad once i hit my bed (this is about my cold hajsha)#My eyes are so tired so I'm just gonna try...#Scones turned out good#Used up some old chocolate bars with walnuts#And the other ones are blueberry#Currently listening to saturday... Nice one to send me off#I'll scroll for a bit longer but I'm also falling asleep
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All good devils masquerade under the light.
#fossil fighters#fossil fighters champions#joe wildwest#zongazonga#my doodles#cw eye contact#tumblr destroyed the quality AGAIN#ugh#anyways guess who was listening to turn the lights off on repeat
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So, sometimes when visualizing, I’ll see scenes. Like, literally, not with my mind’s eye but like, as if it’s right in front of me. There’s absolutely no way any light should be getting in my eyes (I always use a rly thick sleep mask). So turns out this is one of the things you Want to happen when you’re trying to shift, but every time this happens I freak tf out and jump cus obviously I don’t expect to suddenly begin to see shit??
(Also shifting is different for everyone please take everything I say with a grain of salt? Especially if u have aphantasia!)
#reality shifting#bleats#I was doing the sei method which is easy for my adhd ass to tailor to myself#and I started watching the colors swirling behind my eyes and I got distracted#wondering how the hell im able to see such bright colors swimming behind my eyelids when I’m wearing a THICC sleep mask…#AND it’s also pitch black in my room?#I turn off my tv at night. it’s gotta be Vanta Black for me to sleep#So where tf are these lights coming from???#and rotten’s guide explained it#I was using text to speech to listen to it during work and I’m like holy shit I’ve been scaring myself out of shifting 💅💅💅
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*dims the brightness on my screen*
*dulls the white level*
*turns on dark mode*
*sets night time tint*
*puts on sunglasses*
Perfect.
#ghost posts#listen I love the sun#but p much every other light I will turn off#I live in the dark my eyes HURT#everything gives me a headache
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been telling my siblings 'you would NOT make it in vulcan academy' when they do smth goofy recently and nobody's been able to refute lol
#just me hi#listen here you little idiot... [<- fond]#anyway i've been doing this for months and it brings me much joy hbfhsvh#to me it's just an academy. with vulcans. and they are NOT getting enrolled loll#//so speaking of siblings i've been off and about with my dad more often#which is cool but that means spending a lot more time away from my siblings and ouhhrhrhrhrhrhrhhghhhhhhhhh#[tears in eyes]#my buddies :( Where Are My Buddies :( lmaoo#staring out car windows yearnily bc i want my brother's opinion + dumb joke combo on some random thought i had but he's miles AWAYYYYYYYYYY#i'm home rn but like. Man hfbhsfbvh#//oh man but here was one time one of them used the academy thing on me and i could only sputter. touche motherfunker lolllll#//anyway i am exploding all of them with my mind [<- endearing]#my youngest siblings do art (because they saw me doing it [funkin dies and explodes and cries and stares at a wall forever] lol <3) and#they're ! ! ! ! ? ? ? ?#leo does humanoids + has a more geometric style atm and it's really cool!! he keeps asking me to help him draw hands but he asks me at like#1 a.m. when my brain isn't working practically anymore so it's just me going 'yea and the thumb bone connects to the hip bone. +~Somehow~+#[mystery chimes]' and then he goes off on some sort of random thought and we are derailed forever hgbbfhsh#and ruff is so good at drawing animals it's insane. like have you seen this kid's cats they are Sick ! ! ! i genuinely did a double-take#when i saw her stuff a couple months ago loll#/and then my older siblings are v into video games#which is cool bc if i am ever bored they have like 5000 things that i can suffer on while we all laugh hfbhsfhv#i think i'm still helping test one of apollo's games that he's working on -#he's learning code and all kinds of cool stuff - also he's insanely good at blender like Woauhghsgh. wizard shizz hbfhsvb#+ reed helps him w/ that bc i believe he's the architecture guy lol :) - also it turns out reed n i share a lot of opinions on media and#stuff so that's awesome :D he didn't know what whump was but he liked all the points of it so i tried explaining that to him the best i#could hbshfv o7#+ chess has been trying to convince me to give him + leo a ~mystery~ story to play and i finally caved lmjfhsjf#he's real good at the clues it's going well :3 i am scared for my life HFBVhsfvh#also trying to convince him to play kartrider w/ me again cuz i have leo on it now and we need a 3rd okay-to-decent player in our soon-to-b#posse Loll :33 //i ran out of tag space... ouhhh..... okay then.. ciao ciao toodles :D
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digging in my old clack tags is me constantly going "oh this is where i discovered that song from" over and over again huh
#face in hands and starts screaming#sorry i've been having a Moment all day since i started the day thinking about Why#and i didn't get off that high since then#kept choking up out of nowhere while watching a show because i couldn't help but think of them#had to decide whether i should start a new season or listen to my clack playlist instead#decided to listen to my clack playlist#turns out distracting myself with the show was the last straw holding myself together :v:#god why do i still cry that hard everytime i think about them#like genuinely cry not 'i'm gonna cry' type of tumblr slang#my eyes are so puffy and my chest is so tight#how dare they still make me feel ike this after 17 years i demand a refund#ichatalks about ffvii#kiri dont look#(also yes sorry slightly ignoring the inbox i'm having a very emotional moment rn)
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Thinking about all the NFAK songs built around the act of looking at the lover. How there is an exploration of the manner in which the sight of the lover engages with the beloved. The sight being the first sense that interacts with the beloved, and what that means to the lover. How sight lets you build what you want to make of your beloved without touching them. Akin to how one might interact with god because one can't touch god.
"Kiven Mukhre ton Nazra Hatawan" being an ode to how you can't take your eyes off the one you love because you see god there. "Je tu akhiyan de saamne ni rehna" being this sulky, pouty demand you make to your love to return your heart if they are not going to be there in your sight always. "Akhiyan Udeek diyan" a reminder to your love that your eyes are waiting for their arrival, to get a glimpse of you. "Chaap tilak sab cheen" being about how the lovers world collapsed when their eyes met their beloved's. "Ye Jo halka halka suroor" literally telling the beloved that its their gaze that is responsible for this constant state of inebriation that the lover finds themselves in. A love so intense, so potent, that even when the least invasive sense is exposed to it, it's enough to capture a whole gamut of human emotions.
#and now.... let's ponder#how marc looks at vale#lol#sorry it had to be said#I can't let myself listen to too much NFAK I turn into something else#NFAK#nusrat fateh ali khan#rosquez#TO ME#I need to sleep#I will respond to everyone I haven't responded to on here I just have been mad mad busy#do NOT talk to me about yearning if you haven't heard je tu akhiyan de saamne ni rehna#the 22 minute version of kiven mukhre ton nazran hatawan#literally it says when they bury me after I die and I open my eyes in the grave I want to see your face#kill me lol#he starts it off by saying how looking at his lover is him gazing upon the face of god#and no other version of the original captures that#because they lack that level of crazy#I'll come back to all of you beautiful people very soon just let me grind a bit#and exist in the real world!#personal
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Okay… today was a lil bit rough on ya boy. Bad, but nothing too serious - if this was the worst that 2023 throws at me, I’m winning like a mf. Anyway I smiled when this happened…. I can’t access the “read more” function anymore, so y’all gon need to see the tags
#lgbt#lgbtq#military channel#lynette nusbacher#so this might come as a surprise to all but my very closest followers#but imma ex military grunt turned peacenik - ya know saw the sausages getting made up close and decided that peace is preferable to war#anyway - in a lot of ways the army is branded into my soul#i still wake up before 4am on most mornings#w/o an alarm clock#i still do *my* version of pt (mine has lap swimming yo)#and i still enjoy learning militarily history/strategy (far too much of it is propaganda unfortunately)#anyway - i like to listen to non controversial things as i drift off to sleep sometimes#and i *love* the history/military channel#but i havent really watched it in a good minute right?#so im drifting off to sleeping (today was unusually skressful but thats another whole ass post)#so im listening to the military channel and i hear a familiar voice#and immediately i think to myself - oh thats that british dude#but ……… when i briefly open my eyes to see him talking …….#its *actually* ( …wait for it…) lynette nusbacher!#and i saw her face and i was like damn odin you slippin son#ive watched the military channel so much i coulda sworn it was that dude speaking#so now im kinda half awake and im questioning myself right? like - i might forget names but i fuckn knowwww faces and voices#so they flash her name across the screen and i hit up wikipedia and boom!#lynette nusbacher is trans! and the mf military channel still has her on 🤯#anyway - imma cis/het brutha but that made me happy for all my trans friends skrugglin out there#i didnt know
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salang-salang is a beautiful song about how happy you get when your package finally arrives
#seriously tho it was so joyful#finally made it through the part of han and seungmin's episode where they talked about hold on so now i can breeze through the rest of the#2kidsshow episodes#don't get me wrong hold on is a beautiful song#unfortunately i cannot listen to it or even apparently hear them talk about it#without getting tears in my eyes#which is why other than hearing it for the first time i haven't listen to it again#well up until that episode of 2kidsshow#but i really wanted to hear them sing together so i just focused on anything else on the screen but the subtitles#which is how i noticed a lava lamp on set#a turned off lavalamp on set#why was it off..#chattering
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