#tumblr reading comprehension - how do we even survive here???

[exsqueezememacaroni]

«Mike DID live with Mike Bordin/Puffy in San Francisco for a brief period, so maybe that's what the magazine was talking about, and they got the FNM drummer confused with the Bungle guitarist?»

I know Mike lived at Puffy's, but that was in 88-89. And Trey didn't live with Mike at Puffy's. By '91, Mike had already made enough money to rent a small house. He said he wasn't rich enough to rent a mansion, but he had money for a modest place to live. And in that house he and Trey lived together and had another neighbor. So this is definitely not about Puffy.

ah ok - I re-read your first ask and realized i misunderstood....like...I didn't realize you meant Mike + Jim + mystery Bungle person all together....hm....that would be super interesting if they did!!!!

I mean, it could have been for a very short time period before Jim moved back in with his mom??? And like, hey, musicians be musicians, and SF housing is SF housing....if it happened I'm sure they made it work somehow! Edit: Like for real I don't think even after the split that however Jim and Mike interacted with each other changed that much...it was probably like any other housemate situation, lol, slightly angsty, slightly awful. Anyways being working musicians, they probably weren't even in the house together at the same time all that much! But knowing that it was just 2 bedrooms for 3 people??? Hmmm....

[gwydionmisha]

how do you keep up with all these articles and websites? With twitter being down the shitter, and tumblr recycling month old posts, i havent been able to find a good central news source. I figured I could use RSS feeds, but these sites post SOOOO frequently that I find it overwhelming. any advice?

it's an eclectic process. I watch some TV news which gives me a heads up on things happening. So does dreamwidth and tumblr and friends with different areas of interests that will let me know about things happening in the areas they watch or in their countries. I also watch a couple of other progressive aggregators with sort of Venn diagram interest areas with mine. So some stuff over laps with things I already read, but there are more things I wouldn't have spotted on my own that are important and/or interesting. I also have a bunch of searches I do for longer running things, and things I'll do a random periodic search on to check in with ongoing situations that mostly fell out of the English language news cycle.

I started out doing history articles and archeology news, that sort of thing. Then there was a little commentary. Then Us politics went completely berserk and I ran out of time to properly read and post breaking news, let alone the things i still care about but are so much less world on fire. I try to squeeze some in at the edges never theless.

It helps that I read stupid fast with a high comprehension rate. also, I'm disabled and don't work, so I have time other people don't have, even working at whatever pace my body is up for that day. I can just go lie down if need to. I don't have to force myself to type much if my arm is completely fucked that day. Most people have a whole lot of time sucked into working and commuting. Most aggregators are working to some sort of schedule if only self imposed.

A lot of why my out put rate is so uneven from day to day is some days I am too busy or ill. Some days I do a ton of reading and prepping, but am too ill or tired or in pain and can't post much of it. The massive output Sunday evening was an example of the opposite thing, where I hadn't time to read, but I had a ton of links read and preorganized, so I could toss them onto the dreamwith scaffold and post them very fast at the same time on Tumblr, so I gnawed through some of my backlog pile.

(I post a sorted aggregate on dreamwidth once or twice a week at https://gwydion.dreamwidth.org/. Tumblr they mostly go up in batches).

I am doing this on the most basic level out of love. I love learning stuff, hence my origins over on livejournal before the Russians got it, sharing links to articles about cool things people dug up. I grew up in a political family. I've been watching politics since the Ford/Carter debates. I do care about the world. I want things to be better. I can't march. I can signal boost, and write, and share links, and call politicians to complain about stuff. It means a lot to me when people I don't know look at what I do and it helps them in some way.

I would be reading news regardless. I learned at the age of eight that when confronted with horrors, that for me personally, I do best if I study the enemy. This allowed me to work out how best to resist and survive. all these decades later, my survival strategy dishes up news links organized in anxiety friendly ways on dreamwidth, and in the more chaotic but blacklistable form here on tumblr. I'm anal retentive about news tagging to help the people who aren't here for that or who aren't up to staring directly into the void with me and drinking from the news fire hose. I never even expect my closest friends to read all my output, because my volume is rather excessive.

Don't feel bad if you aren't up to it, some days or weeks or months. My adaptation is wildly atypical and for most people this would be unhealthy.

If the news is too much, it's okay to take a mental health break. I do ask that you vote, because we need everyone, regardless of country to save the world. The news will still be there when you are up to it

Any aggregate has a bias, both selection, and the other kind. there are things i don't cover because I don't know they are happening or because there isn't time. There are a whole lot of other things that I don't or barely cover because they aren't good for me. it is so much harder to see absence than presence.

My best advice to you, is to find someone like me who gets a lot of the things you are interested in so you can at least skim headlines. More than one is better, but if you get stressed out by the output keep it simple. Find some news sites you trust or if you have a good local paper get a subscription. (I used to read the paper everyday, but my local paper is extra bad, so I'm all online now). Read articles on things that interest you. If you are up to it do some searches on topics important to you.

Whatever you do, never read or watch one news source exclusively. Every source has biases. If all that history training has taught me anything, it's that.

Remember that no one can read everything and that's okay.

I have no idea if this helps. I just stopped to read your note before bed, so I'm a bit rambly.

[dylawa]

*Steps up to my soapbox*

I had this whole spiel about “these are the reasons I block people and these are the kinds of people I block” to open this post initially, but instead I’m just gonna skip to the main story and make a plea. No “read more” because this is important.

Over the past week, I’ve had the misfortune of being exposed to a certain group of users without critical thinking skills and reading comprehension, that caused my blocklist number to go up astronomically. It’s no one’s fault but mine, and Tumblr’s recommendations; the users whose posts I came across want as little to do with people like me as I do with people like them and I’m not here to be a mentor or babysitter. So while it’s unfortunate we crossed paths (even though they have no idea I was “there,” because I know how to not interact with shit that pisses me off now), at least I could do us both a favor and block them, as well as anyone in their notes sharing their sentiments.

That number went up due to a combination of things, starting with my “For You” page recommending those blogs it especially shouldn’t have, and then the content in those posts (and me using the notes as a blocklist) lead to me searching for a specific term to add more accounts to my list myself. The latter action, I could have gone on doing for days, probably, since it was a search on my own terms and not a post where I could just stop when the notes ended. And the number of users I blocked could have been bigger, but for the sake and worth of my own time-- and sanity-- I had to stop at some point. As much as I would love to block everyone I may ever need to block in one sitting, that’s not possible by any metric.

But it’s that latter action that’s why I’m making this post.

I am not going to go into details about what my search was after the initial post inspired me, neither the exact word, nor what I found in those prior posts that inspired me to do this. None of it is against TOS, for the record, I just don’t want to be bothered explaining that whole story on top of this one, and/or having the exact kinds of people I’m talking about easily find this post and, again, display a lack of critical thinking and reading comprehension. All you need to know is a (non recent) message about a terrible situation was spread without irrefutable proof, and there were too many people who were told this false information in a single anon sentence. Some of these messages had a link, but not many, and the link was to an extremely questionable source, if not downright malicious.

And without any additional research, or asking for proof aside from this single sentence statement, many people decided to believe it.

Some people did the right thing and actually looked into the details, including the very few times there were links to “proof,” then additionally did more and sufficient research outside of that link. They then told those spreading or believing that false message to piss off, but the number of users who put in the extra work definitely was not high enough.

We joke about the “reading comprehension” on this site, but I know that the users making those jokes are, in reality, just as peeved and, frankly, scared, as I am, about how this lack of crucial logical and reasoning skills are on the rise. But the thing is, the term I searched for that grew my block list, is about an event from years ago. So while this is not a new phenomenon, it is most certainly on the rise.

*Side glances at the Twitter refugees*

And I bet I can guess why.

I know at the time of writing this I am not even the last person on these kinds of people’s minds, and even in the future that may remain true. But I do not, and will not, have the time or patience for people who never learned how to research for facts, not be reactionary, and use those skills to pause for a moment and form their own conclusions. I know the urge to placate, trust, and appear as the “good guy” to avoid conflict is a strong urge (dare I say survival instinct in some cases) in many of us-- we’re users on the mentally ill website, after all (said affectionately)-- but it should not be at the cost of our common sense and ability to reasonably see most, if not all, sides of the circumstances presented to us.

There is a reason critical thought and reading comprehension is taught in school (at least, it was in mine). There’s a reason they make logic workbooks for kids, and have us participate in science fairs and learn the scientific method, and write book reports and study history and where we went wrong, even if using or talking about those specific topics are things some of us will never do again outside of academia. The skills transfer-- it feels so obvious to say it, but for some of that stuff, it isn’t about the details of the specific applications of things like sine, cosine, and tangents, for example. The specific applications of those formulas and calculations will only matter to some. The knowledge of a thing is about the long term applications of just knowing they exist and what they can do, even if only vaguely. It’s about knowing there’s more to life and thought than our own personal focuses and morals.

And there is a reason there are people in positions of power-- government or otherwise-- who want to take these crucial thinking skills away from us-- and, apparently, are succeeding.

This is my plea to you: if you’re told something that has some kind of significant or personal impact as succinctly as possible by anyone-- a stranger, an anonymous tip, an authority figure, an online personality, a parent, a friend, your closest friend, a goddamn doctor or scientist (they get slightly more credibility, but they’re absolutely not infallible)-- look into it yourself. Find as many reputable resources discussing the matter as you can. Do this especially if the person who imparts this statement of fact-- true or otherwise-- on you provides none of those resources themselves, but also do it no matter what. Do it even if they provided many reputable sources-- if you find all of the same things on your own, great! You can be more sure that you know the details of the situation. But if it’s important, if it shifts perspective on an individual or matter at large, take nothing at face value from someone else before doing your own due diligence. Even the people who have your best interests in mind can leave out information, either unintentionally, or even for their own gain-- beneficial or nefarious.

When they say “Knowledge is power,” they’re not just talking about the immediate applications of academia or politics-- it’s the broader picture of the combination of everything you know, and everything you don’t. Power is control. When people control knowledge, they control power-- and knowledge isn’t always just knowing dates of historical events and the textbook definition of “propaganda.”

Oh, and also, feel free to block anyone and everyone that makes you even slightly annoyed if you want to, without guilt. You owe no one debate if that’s not what you’re here for. But be smart for yourself, no matter what you do.

[whosscruffylooking]

The Purest Things-A New Home

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

a/n: this is a repost considering it didn’t show up in any of the tags yesterday. have i mentioned how much i despise tumblr sometimes :) again, i want to give a special shoutout to @avengersbau for giving me a second set of eyes on this one.

word count: 2k

warnings: canon-typical violence and descriptions of injury.

The Purest Things Masterlist

gif is not mine! credit goes to @hqtchner

au! october 2007

Bookend: “It’s never too late to become who you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

++++

"I am SSA Hotchner. Welcome to the team Agent Y/L/N," his voice reminds you of the transatlantic accents of Hollywood stars of old. The kind you used to hear in the old black and white movies you would watch as a child.

"It's an honor to be here sir," you stare directly into his brown, soulfully deep eyes.

"J.J., get us started, please," SSA Hotchner suggests.

Sitting down, you look to the screen that displays the frightful footage of bombs detonating in various locations.

"Yesterday, an 81-year-old woman was severely injured when a bomb exploded in the toilet of a women's restroom," J.J. informs.

"Interesting spot to hide a bomb," Agent Prentiss sneers.

Jennifer flips through the slides and shows another bombsight located in a subway station, "Last year a similar bomb that had been attached to a phone box detonated. No outstanding injuries were reported. However, the bombs' similar makeup alerted detectives to dig into other bombings throughout the years. They have positively identified attacks over the past twelve years as perpetrated by the same bomber."

Spencer adds, "His M.O. is similar to George Peter Metesky, better known as the Mad Bomber. He terrorized New York City over a period of 16 years. He planted bombs in theaters, subway stations, libraries, and offices. They were left in phone booths, storage lockers and restrooms."

"Do you think we are looking at a copycat?" Derek questions.

"If we are, we need to stop him soon," declared David.

"He's escalating-becoming bolder and more vicious," you say, scanning the report.

"Tell Boston we can be there by 9:30," Hotch notifies J.J...

++++

"It seems like he's a textbook paranoid schizophrenic. People suffering from this disorder may think that other people are regulating them or plotting against them. They tend to be reclusive, antisocial, and obsessed Hwith hatred for their presumed enemies," you twist a loose string from your shirt around your finger, unwind it, then repeat the process.

It's a nervous tick you developed over the years that has worn down numerous tops before achieving their intended lifespan. You glance at Agent Hotchner, seeking a sign of approval. His eyes meet yours, and he poignantly nods.

Did I say too much? No. Don’t overthink this. They can probably smell fear.

"In his letters left at the bombsights, he uses words like 'broad' and 'chick' to signify women," Dr. Reid chimes in.

"Do you think the unsub is motivated by hostility towards women? "

"It's possible," he continues, "These speech patterns age him significantly, however. Phrases such as these were mainly used in the 30's, 40's, and 50's."

Agent Hotchner begins to delegate tasks before the jet lands, "Morgan and Reid, I want you to head to the bombsights and see if you can't work out the motive. J.J. and Prentiss talk to the victim's families, determine our victimology. Y/L/N, Rossi, and I will head to the precinct and familiarize ourselves with the lay of the land and see if we can't formulate a geographical profile."

++++

At the precinct, you observe Agent Hotchner's ability to singlehandedly transition an entire police force's obligation to under his jurisdiction.

"Captain Moreno, this is SSA David Rossi and SSA Y/F/N Y/L/N," the Unit Chief introduces you.

The captain tilts his head at you, "Aren't you a little young to be in the FBI? How old are you anyway?"

You nail him with a you're-full-of-crap look. 

Everyone gets to be young once; your turn is over, old man.

Choosing to take the high road, you say, "I'd like to get my hands on the bombers handwritten notes. There has to be something in those letters that can give us a clue into the who, what, when, and where of this case."

Skeptical of your request, he narrows his eyes and looks to David and Agent Hotchner.

"You hear her," Dave exclaims, "Lead the way!"

Your enigmatic smirk no doubt gives away the great pleasure Dave's gibe brings you.

++++

"Agent Hotchner," you hand him your preliminary geographical profile. With his arms crossed, he intimidatingly peers into your research.

Don't burn a hole in my paperwork; I worked hard on that.

He is impressed by your work, taking in your comprehensive outline of proof that details the unsubs point of origin. For someone so young, your attention to detail puts even his most observant profilers to shame. "How did you come to this conclusion?"

"My family is from Chicago. When I was little, I used to read through my grandfather's old newspapers that he collected throughout the 1950's. On the jet, I knew some of the phrasings that Dr. Reid was using sounded familiar, so I cross-referenced it with some of the particular articles I remember from my childhood and found his wording to be exact iterations of the Chicago Crier."

Without taking his eyes off of the paperwork, he commends you, "Impressive use of your prior knowledge. Often, the information drilled into us through education is lackluster compared to that of real-world experience."

You turn to walk back to your makeshift desk when he calls out to you, "And Y/L/N, call me Hotch."

Your shoulders relax from the tension you hadn't even realized you'd been clinging onto, "Alright. Hotch."

++++

You immediately regretted your decision. In pursuit of the unsub, you had wandered off down an abandoned subway tunnel and cornered him.

"Harold Watts, FBI. Gently place the remote detonator on the ground," You shout. Grappling to keep your gun from slipping between your clammy palms, you grip the weapon tighter.

Ordinary people's first days of work are uneventful; they're given a series of mundane tasks at most. Me? Of course, my first day involves being secluded in a subway tunnel facing down a man decked from head to toe in explosives and wires.

"D-don't come any closer. I have my finger on the trigger! I'm not afraid to die, and I will not hesitate to take you up in flames with me," he stammers.

The stampede of footsteps, no doubt from your colleagues and half of the Boston police force, resonate through the echo chamber you're standing in. Watts spooks and loses his balance. You begin shouting for the people behind you to stand down.

"The tracks are live, one wrong step, and we all blow up. I repeat, stand down!"

Turning your attention back to Watts, you attempt to soothe his irrationality. You slowly return your gun to its holster, raising your hands up in surrender. Hotch yells something unintelligible from behind you, but your focus is on the unsub and trying to prevent any more casualties.

"Harold, let's just talk this through for a couple of minutes. My men behind me will leave us alone. It's you and me now. Before this, you never wanted to hurt yourself. You wanted to be heard. All of your life you felt like you were forced into the shadows, and you began to fester there in your pain and rage."

He tenses up; you have his attention now.

"Those girls who teased you and ripped your masculinity from you needed to be taught a lesson. But you didn't just stop there; you decided to do all women a favor and demonstrate to them the kind of pain they could cause, hoping to prevent them from making the same mistakes. In fact, you helped me to see what I can do better. I never want to make someone feel the way you did."

"Y-you learned that...f-from me?" Harold quietly sobs.

You nod, "Yes! Yes, Harold. And you can still be heard, but not if you die today. I could be your greatest advocate. If we walk out of here right now, think of how famous you could be. Harold, you will never be stuck in the shadows again."

It is crucial to your survival and your teams that you are brave just long enough to analyze the situation and keep your self-control. Panic won't do anyone any good right now.

Your mouth dries as you await Harold's next move. Suddenly, he hunches over, extending the hand gripping the detonator. Pausing for a moment to be sure he isn't making any drastic moves, you promptly hurry to his side and gently pull it from his clutch.

As the police officers and your colleagues rush to your aid, Harold looks up at you with hopeful eyes.

"Make me famous," he murmurs with a grin that churns your stomach.

Hotch ushers you away from the unsub, backing you up against the wall of the tunnel, "You actively defied my orders."

Searching every inch of his face for an accurate reading of his emotions, you are unsure of how to respond.

"I'd like to think it won't happen again," his eyes studying you just as intently.

You swallow hard, aware of the lump in your throat and take a deep breath, "You have my word, Agent Hotchner."

"Good," he affirms, eventually freeing his hold on your arm.

You let out a shaky sigh of relief and relax your spinning head against the wall.

Opening your eyes, you observe your new team tieing up all loose ends. They're safe. You are safe. Despite this first day not being as mundane as others, you wouldn't have it any other way. This feeling is what you signed up for, and it's already fulfilling you in ways you couldn't fathom before stepping inside the BAU office this morning.

++++

Aboard the jet, you tuck your legs underneath you and open up a book to read.

A cup of steaming hot coffee appears on the table in front of you.

Hotch sits across from you with a similar cup and offers you a subtle smile, "Impressive work out there today. I'm sorry your first day of work couldn't be more eventful."

A joke? I didn't take him as the joking kind.

Rolling your eyes, you put on a disappointed tone, "God...if you guys drag your feet like this every day, I might have to consider a transfer."

In a more serious nature, he asks, "How are you feeling?"

"Alright, I guess. You were right, you know, no amount of studying or lectures can truly prepare you for what it's like when you're staring into the eyes of a killer. I've learned the negotiation techniques and memorized the textbook 'put the gun down' speech, but all of that flies out the window when you're in the moment."

"You will find that improvisation at times is the key to success in this job. Just know that this team is a family. You will never face this alone or be at a loss for anything. Your career is in its infancy, but I can tell you have a long and triumphant journey ahead of you. We will do whatever we can to ensure that you are at home here and can use this team as an opportunity to refine your abilities. All I ask in return is that you work with us, not against us. You have nothing to prove. They see your resourcefulness. So do I. You are one of us now."

Some gazes are the promise of protection; his is all that and more. The words "at home" resonate in your mind. You've spent your whole life searching for a home, and here it is, its doors being opened to you. After a lifetime of running from place to place, perhaps this is where you can finally settle down.

"Get some rest," Hotch whispers to you. And with that, you lean your head against the chilled window and shut your eyes.

++++

Tag List 🏷

@chellybear98​ @destiny-tsukino​ @wanniiieeee​ @sweetiecake180 @vampiracontessa @weexinling​ @spaghetti-dad187 @hothskies @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @mac99martin​ @clairedragonessbaker @cecemariee7302​ @halloweenwithreid @megans-txmblr @theoldestguard @purpledragonturtles​ @chazubagi @frogrrylovebot @agentaaronhotass​ @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @mcntsee @ssagube @softhetixx @kenzies-mr-j @peachyotps @cat11-2 @prettylittlemoonlight @ravenmoore14 @gubs-boobs @spencerreidsoulmate @totalmess191 @hopelesslylosttheway @britishspidey @kyliesalvatore

[onebillionstarsff]

if you think c!dream deserves torture, you don’t know what torture is

alrighty, it’s time for me to do annoyingly in-depth lore analysis again because i have seen way too many people on my dash and twitter timeline saying that c!dream deserves to be tortured.

i don’t really think people have a comprehensive, reality-based understanding of what torture actually is, what it can do, and the motivations behind it. i, unfortunately, do: i’ve done extensive professional-level study on torture, so i’m going to do my best to put out some knowledge into our little dsmp-related world.

obvious content warnings for references to torture and to violence below the cut (nothing too graphic, though; i know this isn’t an academic forum or government work)

all of this is /rp /dsmp

i’ll also list some sources at the very bottom if you want to learn more

alright then, let’s start: what is torture, anyway?

there are two types of definitions, general and legal. i’ll reference both, but the message they carry is essentially the same, so i’ll just paraphrase the united nations definition that’s party to (read: supported/enforced by) 170 countries:

torture is any act that intentionally causes SEVERE harm to someone, physical OR mental, for the purposes of extracting information or punishment for failure to do so, with explicit consent from an acting public authority.

i’ll break down those components in the context of the dsmp in a second, but i first want to make it very clear what torture ISN’T. torture is not manipulation, it is not "trauma” in the way trauma is broadly conceived, it is not even direct physical abuse. you can suffer abuse from, say, a parent or a partner, and that abuse is about a power dynamic, where one person is being forcibly subordinated to the other. torture, on the other hand, is not necessarily about power, and it’s definitely not ONLY about power dynamics; torture, by its very definition, has to be intensely and officially coercive, and it has to be SEVERE. there are not degrees of torture, like there are degrees of abuse: being deprived of sleep for days or even weeks at a time is just as psychologically impactful as losing a limb or being waterboarded (simulated drowning- a common torture method that the us has been known to employ).

this is my first major issue with the way some viewers of the dsmp approach this whole debacle. i constantly hear c!tommy’s manipulation by c!dream cited as a perfect justification for c!dream’s torture. what c!tommy, and others on the server- particularly the kids- went through is horrible, and intensely traumatic. i will never deny them that, especially as a survivor of abuse myself, but torture is not just another form of trauma. that’s a very important distinction that we, as viewers, have to draw: torture is considerably worse because it is sanctioned, it is coercive, and its explicit goal is not just to cause pain or make someone feel powerless (common goals of abusers), but instead to shatter someone.

in more specific terms, the mental goal of torture is to completely unmake someone’s conception of the world, how they interact with it, and their basic sense of identity. if you read accounts or speak with survivors of torture, it is frequently mentioned that their very way of processing everything in life was destroyed by pain and had to be rebuilt, completely different, after escape. by destroying one’s individuality, will, and their most integral of processing abilities, you destroy their grasp on the world; and, to put it lightly, such a breaking event is awful enough that, in an effort to make it stop and regain some sense of normalcy, the victim will tell their persecutors what they want to hear. it’s the reason why confessions obtained through torture are notoriously not admissible in courts of law. this goes far beyond abuse or manipulation, and i need everyone to understand that.

now, let’s get to c!dream’s situation. did he do awful things? yes, undoubtedly. i’m a c!dream apologist, but his manipulation of c!tommy and c!tubbo was very fucked up. beyond that, his notable “crimes” that others on the server aren’t also guilty of committing (e.g., murder, theft, arson, to name a few common ones) really just consist of especially massive destruction of property (people leave c!techno and c!phil out of this equation, much to my chagrin, but i won’t get into it here). punishment for his actions is understandable, and is typically what justice systems aim to do. but, even if we completely ignore the inherent inhumanity of pandora (HOOO BOY that’s a lot to ignore but i digress), c!dream is not being punished, he’s being tortured. 

going by the definition i used, let’s break it down:

c!sam knows what c!quackity is doing to c!dream, allows it, and even encourages it. as the warden, he is the person in an official, authority position giving their consent. 

c!quackity is, by his own admission, doing what he is to get information out of c!dream. it’s not a confession in this context, but very specific piece of knowledge, with the promise of death also hanging right above it.

list of extreme psychological abuse: long-term solitary confinement (torture if it’s more than 22 hours. c!dream has been in solitary confinement for more than 60 days now), deprivation of the passage of time, general verbal abuse, incredibly limited social contact (people start to fray without basic interaction after a while).

list of extreme physical abuse (god where do i start): prolonged starvation, malnourishment when he isn’t being starved (you will die without protein intake); use of Warden’s Will Breaker pickaxe (it can hack through obsidian, so i think that’s all i need to say), shears (can be used to do things like pull nails, break limb’s bones, amputate toes/fingers/a whole arm in c!ponk’s case), and an OP axe (a sharp blade capable of slicing easily through wood with brute force, and bone is significantly easier to crush than wood). 

so, we have consent of authority, coercion for the sake of extracting information, and severe physical/mental abuse meant solely to cause extreme pain. c!dream is being tortured according to the proper, internationally-sanctioned definition of the term, and that is not okay in any circumstances whatsoever. 

if you haven’t ever read survivors’ accounts (or the accounts of their victimizers), it’s difficult to understand just how uniquely despicable torture is, and the lifelong effects that remain after it’s over and done with. i honestly recommend you read some testimonials, because it absolutely changes the way you view authority and the world in general.

no one is deserving of this treatment, no matter what atrocities they may or may not have committed. 

it’s a basic tenet of human rights, and i don’t think it should be a hard pill to swallow that it’s never excusable in any circumstance. so, defend c!tommy & co. and criticize c!dream’s actions all you want, but please never say that torture is alright. that statement has real consequences, and real moral implications. don’t be an asshole, and don’t be disrespectful to people who have survived it.

if you’re curious, look into these events:

The Argentine Dirty War

Chicago Police’s Jon Burge and his torture regime

Abu Ghraib prison

Extensive torture by Pinochet’s regime in Chile

Guatemalan Civil War

Ugandan policing in the 21st century (Human Rights Watch report here)

if you want some reading, i recommend the following. tumblr will probably nerf this post because of links, but oh well.

Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment

Elaine Scarry’s The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World (very important work in the literature on torture) 

John Conroy’s Unspeakable Acts, Ordinary People: The Dynamics of Torture

Levenson (e.d.) Torture: A Collection

[philomelas-tongue-says]

hello, tumblr. it's been a hot second so here are some life updates

i have almost officially survived my summer of intensive Latin and oh man. oh glory hallelujah i am going to be relieved to be done. i LOVE my students but the sheer amount of time and energy that teaching takes up is simply unbelievable

my students DID figure out how to say "let's get this bread" in Latin today as a result of our textbook reading and it made them all ridiculously happy

i apparently have acquired myself some benign positional vertigo which. 0/10 would not recommend lol

have applied for a job at the [university redacted, not that you couldn't figure it out if you tried] graduate writing center, which i sincerely hope i get because a) i like paying my bills and b) i really genuinely enjoyed writing center work when i did it olim at my first college

wildly horribly terribly behind on my german which i'm trying to just. not stress about, and think about instead as "a problem for August me"

wildly horribly terribly behind on my comprehensive-exam studying which. let's just not even talk about that one lmao

we are deeply profoundly broke right now because n lost their job recently but. you know. it's okay. rolling with it, cutting down non-essentials, preserving the bounty, being grateful for all the things we do have, etc. trying to look on the bright side of a bad situation as much as possible! story of my life i think but. hey. we work with what we got!

[theotherace]

Fic Recs: Taang

I’ve made two or three rec lists over the past few months, but I thought I’d make a proper, comprehensive one that’s easy to add to in the future. Not all of these are exclusively Taang, but they all feature the ship to some degree. I will only recommend one or two stories per author, but some profiles are definitely worth checking out further. So! Here goes.

Multi-Chapter, Complete

Whisper Into the Sky by damagectrl – Toph has two choices: Go home and get married or have the family fortune and her inheritance given to a stranger. Her problem: She wants to keep her ties to her family, but is quite content traveling with Aang. Her solution: Fight her way through suitors for her freedom. Literally. | General 

The Slow Path by Tazmainian Devil – Eight years after the fall of Ozai, Aang returns to the friends he left behind. | T

A Matter of Honor by Adridere – Almost 4 years after the war. Aang is engaged to Katara and is up to Zuko to teach him the facts of life. Yep, the bees and the birds. Crazy kings, bananas and the ultimate contest for the hand of a reluctant maiden. | M

Roommates by breeeliss – An unlikely tale of two unlikely people being forced to live together under unlikely circumstances.| Modern AU | T

Fall of the White Lotus by Boo-82 – Three years after the war Zuko is living a life of duty while Katara reluctantly travels the world with Aang. So, when General Iroh orders them to find Zuko’s mother and save his Order they seize the opportunity with both hands. It’s the beginning of an adventurous journey of discovery, but as time runs out a rising threat puts their bond to the test. | T

Half Asleep by The Crushinator – Five years after the Hundred-Year War, Fire Lord Zuko is hit with an assassin’s dart, and falls into a coma from which he cannot wake. A week passes, and his prognosis is grim. But Katara could swear she hears him in her dreams… | T

Yaaburnee by aviatordame – Avatars aren't meant to belong – that's as much as Aang can fathom. | M

Getting Lucky by roca-dos – Crazy things happen in college every day. | Modern AU | T 

All Fall Down by DJNS  – Aang copes with a tragic loss and finds renewed hope in an unexpected place. | M | Warning for Major Character Death

The Princess & the Badger-Cat by panaili – In a land never torn apart by the Hundred Year War, the sixteen-year-old Avatar Aang is trying his best to keep the balance between the four nations, including the increasingly antagonistic Fire Nation, which, despite his friendship with the Crown Prince Zuko, refuses to acknowledge him. Elsewhere, Sokka and Katara have been separated on their quest to find their missing father, and Sokka, pursued by the same bandits who kidnapped his sister, finds himself on the balcony of some rich girl’s house in Gaoling. Oh, and a sorcerer has turned him into a badger-cat. It’s just one of those days. | Teen and Up

Reborn by Jakia – Life. Death. Rebirth. This is the cycle that all spirits must abide to, even the Avatar. Aang and Toph face death and the reincarnation cycle. | T

New Girl by tiffaniesblews – After coming home early from a business trip, all Katara wanted to do was surprise her boyfriend, Jet. Imagine her surprise when she got home and Jet was in bed with another woman. Not wanting to live with her ex, and unable to live with her best friend, Suki, Katara takes her brother Sokka's offer to move into his loft with his two roommates. Aang is perky and sweet, the owner of a st. Bernard and a cat, who's often confused about his direction in life. Zuko, on the other hand, is a closed-off bartender, who takes some time opening up to others.The four could not be more different, and yet? They work out perfectly. Even if Katara's feelings for Zuko get a bit more complicated as time goes on. | Modern AU | Mature 

The Ties That Bind series by LdyKirin – An exploration of the ties that bind for good and ill. Toph and Zuko are both shaped by the family they were born to and the family they choose. Lots of found family feels. | T

What Happens In Kyoshi by BlackVelvetBand – Prince Zuko, and the GAang take a vacation on Kyoshi Island. Flirting, fighting, and embarrasment ensue as Sokka takes it upon himself to defend Katara's virtue...in a dress? A short,chaptered fic featuring Zutara, Sokki, and Taang. | T

Under the Night Sky by mycomfortblanket – Aang hears the chattering of teeth during a cold night. Was an AU that I found on tumblr that I made fit into this story. Orginal prompt: "We have to go camping together and share a sleeping bag even though we are complete strangers | General

On The Precipice by JoyDragon – They’re just best friends. Or maybe they’re teetering on the edge of being something more. | General

Oneshots, Complete

Air and Stone by Wolvenfire86 – A few Taang stories munched together. My first submissions. I hope everyone likes them. Please review, it makes me feel special. | K+

Taang Week 2020 series by teabagginses | Teen and Up & Mature

Our Little Secret by IrisPlumeria – Toph and Aang, sat next to one another dressed in their finest under paper lanterns and surrounded by copious amounts of food and friends, cringed at the disgusting noises coming out of Sokka’s nostrils as he blew his nose into Suki’s handkerchief. “I can’t believe two of my best friends are finally married!” Sokka sobbed, earning a supportive pat on the back from Suki, who didn’t flinch at the snot coming out of his nose. “I’m so happy for you guys!” Toph and Aang's family are happy for their nuptials, but will they be able to survive their wedding party without letting slip a big secret?Written for Taang Week 2020 - Tradition. | General 

All Roads Lead To Ba Sing Se by irisbleufic – "I was thinking," [Mai] said, tucking her last remaining dagger into her belt as she strode to meet him, "that it's about time I let Fire Lord Zuko know that I quit." When Kuei smiled at her, she could see the sunshine at which she once cringed."Notice that's six years overdue is better than none at all." "Indeed," said the Earth Queen, and grinned at him. | Teen And Up

Lady Fu’s Fortune Telling by Lady Cleo – Katara and Toph visit the local fortuneteller to get their fortunes told. Added a part two with Zuko and Aang. | T

The Perfect Companion by Morna – Aang seeks comfort outside of the arms of his wife, Katara. Taang, slightly lemony. | T

Box by JoeMerl – Written for Taang Week, one-shot. Toph ticks off Bumi, but Aang is willing to fight his old friend tooth and nail to get her out of trouble. Humor, light romance. | K+

2 am by shmulia – Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara's shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. | Modern AU | K

And its sequel, 11:45 – House parties aren't Katara's thing. Sokka's drunk, Suki's on a mission to set her up, and Toph is... well, Toph. But for every cloud there's a silver lining, and for Katara it comes in the form of a second chance with her neighbour... | Modern AU | T 

Treat by PsychEmpress – She felt the corners of her own lips quirk as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Consider this my treat,” he said and Toph allowed a smile to break out. OR In which Toph is a stressed architecture student who gets a free cup of coffee from the handsome waiter after she helps his friend. Taang. Mentions of Sukka. | Modern AU | T

Sawaru by metacognitive – This love is simple. Non-Korra compliant. | K+

Newlyweds (and basically everything else) by PandaCookie – Everyone’s a bit hopeless right after they’ve been married. | K+

Rhythms by xcgirl08– For now, though, her child’s heartbeat was hers to contemplate. | K 

Tenderness by Adridere – He wanted to keep her, even though he was not supposed to. He promised her freedom, and she promised him sanity in his own household. She kept her part of the bargain, but he found a way not to keep his. | M

Holy Matrimony by Loopy – After their marriage, Zuko and Katara deal with conflicting religious beliefs, and look to the friends for advice. Between the Zutara and the religious satire, every single person who reads this should feel offended. | General

Blind Maiden’s Grace by Adara_Rose – You can learn a lot of things from a flower… | Not Rated (I’d say General) 

Etched in the Earth by Dance_Elle_Dance – She knows the feel of Aang’s footprints better than her own, and that reality scares her. | Teen and Up

No One Asks About The Scars by voleuse – Write about how you learned to curse in order not to be cursed. | General

When in Rome by dtmars – She wasn’t stupid. She knew what she was doing and what she was getting herself into. They both did. | Modern AU. | Explicit

Like Real People Do by DerAndere – The moon is full and bright when he falls out of bed, awake, asleep, inside a dream, and starts walking, driven by the feeling he does not understand, tugging on him relentlessly, and he is Aang, and he is not, and the world is cold. | General | Full Disclosure: This is my story.

Meet Me Under The Table by avatarfan16 – A story of how Toph and Aang find love, in the most unusual of places. TAANG | K+

Aftermath by Zaram'delar – In any celebration, there's always one or two people with a habit of disappearing. Taang drabbleish series. | T

I Choose Dare by for_darkness_shows_the_stars – An ode to how Aang, under the power of a mighty temptress, was forced to grow a beard. Oh, and the birth of his first child, too, he supposes. | General Audiences

Multi-Chapter, In Progress

Heartbeat by AngelicBee – Avatar Aang's soulmate probably died 100 years before, but he can't help but feel she's closer than he thinks. | Teen and Up

a mighty ocean (or a gentle kiss) by poweradequeen – no, the title doesn’t make sense but i don’t care. i couldn’t think of one so now you’re stuck with a cheesy line from two by sleeping at last.it’s a taang fine arts university au. because i said so. | Teen and Up

Neither is Love a Cage by cali-chan – Love is the freedom of flying accompanied. It is letting be without possessing. PG-13 (possibly M later on), drama/romance/angst, Zuko/Katara + Aang/Toph, post-finale but diverges before LoK canon.

Operation: Zutara (REVAMPED) by dtmars – Everyone could see that those two were in love with each other. Everyone except for them. So Toph takes the initiative and fills in for Cupid to give them a little push, while Aang just tags along for the ride. | Teen and Up

Taang One Shots by stitch1830 – A collection of short stories about Toph and Aang that I've had saved in my notes for a few months. Stories are in the ATLA/LOK universe (not canon compliant), and typically revolve around their relationship and family. | Teen and Up

[genuflectx]

Axiom’s End

This is a little review of an AMAZING book I just finished reading that exophilia lovers (and just sci-fi lovers in general) may enjoy to get in on, if not already! 

Parts of this review will have spoilers, but I will place the spoilery review under a cut (though some basic plot premises are discussed before the cut, they are not major spoilers)! So if you want a quick review read on, and for the more detailed spoilery review check under the cut. It includes a small snip of one page of the book to hopefully entice you.

When it comes to books my search for truly engaging alien novels has been... a waste of time at best. And this story here simply didn’t pop up under my searches for, er, alien human romance novels, so you likely won’t find it by searching that either. I only discovered it by seeing the sparse fanart of it on Tumblr, which made me read it’s synopsis on wikipedia and wonder how on EARTH I had not come across this yet, as a terato blog.

So, Axiom’s End is a first contact story, but it is character driven, and all the characters (especially the main cast) are emotional and well developed. However I have a warning some may want to heed; it is existential and is aware of it. If you can’t handle a heavy feeling of dread, which several chapters tend to exude, might not be the story for you.

Do you like creepy, deathly still dragon-insect-robots with questionable morals staring you down? Ohhh boy, I sure do. The main alien character, Ampersand, and his species, are not humanoid. They are in the sense of having two arms two legs two eyes, etc, but otherwise are distinctly different and alien and- did I mention Ampersand is 9 feet tall? And some of his species are even taller? Woof. There aren’t any re-colored humans with four arms and a six pack here.

Through the story the main human Cora plays as Ampersand’s interpreter, being the only one who has the means to understand him. That means they are required to be rather... close. The juxtaposition between her human inflections and idea of ethics greatly clashes with Ampersand’s own blunt way of speaking and concept of right or wrong. When you’ve lived so many hundreds of years and have advanced nearly beyond comprehension that’ll do it to ya. How she and the alien get along and what the talk about is something I’ll leave under the cut. All you need to know is I friggin’ loved it. Best thing yet, book 2 comes out this October and is open for preorder!!

NOW, SPOILER TIME:

^ Random page of the book of Cora and Ampersand speaking. ^

Ellis wanted to make this species nearly incomprehensible to human values, and god did she do it, and somehow even managed to do it while still making you love-hate them. Ampersand (and by extension his people) are so clinical and “logical” that they will lie by omission and not say sorry when found out, because if it benefited him why should he? Though we don’t dig into the other aliens’ personalities much, so I’ll focus on Amper.

Ampersand is hundreds and hundreds of years old, living through torture, surviving an alien planet, suffering the feeling of death when Cefo killed himself (and, later, when the 2nd one dies). He is, beneath a cold exterior, damaged and emotional, perhaps at first even attempting to pretend he wasn’t (through cold indifference) until Cora challenged him. He is manipulative, a walking contradiction, and at the end of it all, hiding his vulnerability. As an example, at one part closer to the end he lashes out when Cora is angry at him, and later expresses, to the best of his species abilities, a regret for his anger. So he KNOWS he has emotional flaws, but doesn’t start really admitting them till maybe ehh 75% into the book, roughly.

As we move through the story he goes from being so afraid of Cora that he keeps a ten foot distance and freezes when she looks at him, to not needing to be told twice before curling up beside her on a hospital bed. Even if he didn’t see humans as persons, he clearly did not want the planet to be destroyed by his people, and that does show a level of empathy for humans outside of Cora. Or... it could all be coldly logical to him (humans pose no real threat, thus, it would be illogical to warrant a genocide of the Earth- or is that just what he might tell himself?).

As you read you’ll begin to feel like Cora. The back and forth feeling of wanting to know more, of wanting to apply humanity to Ampersand and his people, but then getting ice water in your face when his actions remind you that he is in no way human. We may never fully understand the depth or shallowness of his empathy, and perhaps the closest thing comes in his immediate response to Cora of I do value you and his carefulness with petting her to comfort her. Though, even then, this statement does not express clear cut emotion. “Value” to Ampersand is not “value” to a human. Is she valued as a thing/asset or as a person? 

Also to make this clear since you came all this way for spoilers. Though I don’t know just how deeply it goes, or how synonymous it is to human romantic relationships, Cora and Ampersand become a thing by the end. The closest they could come to a romantic relationship, at least, with Ampersand bonding to Cora and snuggling up with her on a bed. 

I yap about Ampersand enough (he’s cool but not the only main character!!). Cora has her own traumas and issues outside of Ampersand. I imagine they will be expanded further in the second book, as in the first book her family trauma is mostly directed around she and her aunt. She had feelings and painful memories of her father, but in book 1 her father is a distant person, affecting the course of the story but she’s too far away (and busy) to have the means to confront him. And the rest of her family are in custody till the end, leaving them as a motivation for Cora, though nothing she can deal with immediately due to their distance. So while she has a LOT to go through book one is very alien-focused, with parts dedicated to Cora and her aunt, and her father as a far-off figure who changes the story but is never directly there in front of Cora. However, with the synopsis of book 2 already out, it’s clear her father may become even more of a plot point, with Cora being made to meet Nils’s informant.

Not only do I love this story as a terato fan, but it’s the only book I have devoured in three days. It kept me wanting to know what would happen next because I was so attached to everyone. Ellis is very thorough and this world is huge- a cumulation of a 10 year old story she’s had, only come to fruition in 2020. I CANNOT wait for book two! It comes out THIS OCTOBER and I will absolutely be pre-ording it!!

[monoxidecahedron]

okay i was going to put this in the tags of the prev post but it's too long and completely off topic so. i have so many Thoughts capital-T about internet subculture and language especially. how did words evolve? i know we can trace them to their roots, but how did they start there and how did we end up here? how was language created and how was it formed and shaped and how will it continue to change, fluid and growing? how are new words introduced and how do they come to be universally accepted? more specifically, how did internet language evolve from plain english into the casual-ized dialect it is now? how is it different from site to site?

i'm no expert on this, obviously; everything i know about all this is from one wikipedia article i haven't finished reading. but i do feel like the english used on this site is a dialect? the way people "talk" on the internet in general is pretty different from the way i write my stories, or the way i talk. since no one really speaks here, the language is really written-based instead of orally-based. there's no accent, and we can do wonky shit with letters (eg keysmash, though i'd argue that i do a pretty authentic audible keysmash sometimes) without the limits of human sounds. also (and again i'm not an expert i'm not even sure if language evolves) humans and most life in general evolved with one purpose in mind, right? survival. language evolved in order to communicate and express, and changes to suit the times and the environment to fulfill that prime directive. the internet's prime directive, so to speak, is not to survive or to communicate as clearly as possible (unfortunately): it's to be funny. humour gets clout first and foremost on social media. sorry, i should have been more precise: we're talking about social media. not the way online news articles will pepper in a little "isn't that funny! ha!" or a little sort of fake-cheer the way one would talk irl. we're talking about capitalizing words for the Emphasis, periods in the middle of a sentence, no periods at all, fuck proper capitalization, [GUNSHOTS] and [REDACTED] (although those might be specific to tumblr, which is a whole other thing) and "mutuals" and all the terms for things in-site that, again, evolved because that's the environment we are in and that's something we need to communicate. how did "mutuals" become the agreed-upon term for someone you follow who follows you? how did "so true bestie" become a Thing? again with the questions. i have so many thoughts and so many questions (notice no capitalization of the t; this time i'm not referring to Thoughts, i'm referring to thoughts, and what was that quote about untranslateable words or concepts?) and yes i do think i could write a thesis on this. i'm well aware that tumbeler dot com is the wrong place to ask these sorts of questions because reading comprehension here is negative fifteen but i did want to get this out because it's just such an interesting concept to me you know?

[ms-demeanor]

SOMEONE HAS ASKED ME FOR HELP TRANSLATING OLD ENGLISH (OE). WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT LANGUAGES AND I’M EXCITED.

I CAN’T TRANSLATE INTO OLD ENGLISH BUT I’M STILL EXCITED.

Okay, so, this was partially based on my recent, completely hilarious, translation of the first verse of Baby Got Back into Middle English.

I did that because I’m a complete slut for Middle English (ME). I am, in fact, such a slut for ME that I decided to make a free translation of the Canterbury Tales for people who were more advanced readers than most high-school level translations could help but who had trouble reading ME because its grammar is WEIRD and FUCKED. (I only got through the general prologue and six tales and my analytical asides are insufferable but good job baby Alli I’m so proud of you for wanting to make a free translation you little punk fucking shit up you; now fucking finish it you ADHD gremlin)

SO ANYWAY. Chaucer is Middle English. What you’re currently reading if you’re reading this blog post is Modern English (ModE). POP QUIZ!

What language did Shakespeare write in?

*Final Jeopardy countdown tune*

Wrong! (probably, statistically speaking, you were wrong about that. I’m sorry, I set you up)

Shakespeare wrote in Modern English! It’s Early Modern English, sure, but it is nonetheless the same language that you are reading and speaking and writing today.

BASICALLY

What I’m trying to say is that Lizzo (2019) has more linguistic overlap with Shakespeare (1616) than Shakespeare did with Chaucer (1400) in spite of the fact that Shakespeare and Chaucer were only about 200 years apart and Shakespeare and Lizzo are 400 years apart. That’s because Samuel Johnson was an Absolute Lad in 1755.

(THE PRINTED WORD IS FUCKIGN AMAZING; DICTIONARIES ARE THE SHIT)

Anyway when I was first on tumblr I made a VERY embarrassing mistake and insisted I knew something about OE grammar that I extremely did not (I think this had to do with possession confusion when writing about two people of the same gender and I jumped in with a very bad take) because being a slut for ME doesn’t mean you know shit about OE.

Because Old English is OLD. Like. Really Old.

Like it probably came to England in around 450CE. OLD.

OE is basically Old German. (The development of Modern German is as weird or weirder as the development of Modern English and is no-shit heavily built on work of the Grimm Brothers. The Fairytale dudes.) But also kind of Old Scandinavian? And Frisian. Oh the Frisian. (English speakers: break your brain and listen to this video. Frisian is really closely related to ModE and spoken Frisian sounds infuriatingly close to comprehensible for most English speakers) and basically it’s a messy amalgam of the tribal languages of the various vikings who were continually taking the place over plus all the Brittonic languages plus Latin because of the Romans.

Anyway part of what I’m getting at is that OE was kind of a giant mess (just like ModE!) and translating into OE is also a mess.

Also because OE wasn’t just one language, it was four major dialects and constant moving goalposts as various groups gained and lost power. England didn’t even have a single monarch until almost 200 years after Beowulf was (maybe, probably) written.

So 1066 a somewhat-French dude fought a war with the King of Norway and a bunch of English dudes and long story short that’s how Norman French (which is French with a heavy salting of Scandinavian languages and a soupcon of Celtic) started beating up Old English and eventually turned into ME. (In the General Prologue of the Canterbury tales Chaucer makes a joke that the Prioress’s French is more of Normandy than Paris which is a joke because she’s claiming to be educated in Fancy French but she’s really educated in the form of French that’s like hootin’ and hollerin’ down by the crick can I get a yeehaw).

The deal is that we’re now approximately 4000 permutations away from whatever resembled a lingua franca in England before the Norman Conquest. Our surviving stock of Old English manuscripts is minuscule. Tolkein probably wrote more words in the languages he constructed than exist in OE.

OE is dead. We’ve reconstructed it as best we can and have an okay idea of how the language worked but our understanding of the vocabulary is. A little weird. There are some extremely specific words that kind of just don’t translate to the modern world (“bag specifically for carrying stolen goods” is a decent example). There are some words for which the context is kind of fucked (so if you wanted to translate a proposal it’s hard to ask someone to be your wife if “wife” and “woman” are the same word and “wif” is added to a lot of words to make them apply to women (we retain this in “housewife,” but generally don’t use things like “fishwife” anymore))

But, say you want to learn and translate anyway, what do you do? You make friends with a bunch of nerds and we’ll share our hoarded dictionaries with you. Even the really old ones.

REALLY old.

Actually I don’t have my 1820s Old English dictionary handy so have this one from 1916 instead.

Here’s a site that will translate ModE to OE or OE to ModE as you choose.

The University of Texas at Austen Linguistics Research Center has an online course for learning OE.

Here’s a whole-ass OE textbook.

Some nerds made a podcast about learning OE.

And here’s a very, very short look at the language if you’re thinking of looking into it more.

But if you don’t have time to study a whole new language and want to get something translated fast I recommend finding someone on their way to Kalamazoo and offering them twenty bucks because it’s a hard economy out there for Medieval Studies grad students.

Uh.

Anyway.

[bradypnoea]

For I Do Not Fear The Dark | englishbutter | (10/10) - 110k | Oct ‘14 - Jun ‘15

The winter has been one of the harshest in living memory, and Sigyn knows that not all of her family will live through it. So when a blue-skinned and red-eyed monster comes in the dead of night with an offer beyond her wildest imagination, Sigyn has no choice but accept if her family is to survive. Taken to a castle in the north with secrets around every corner and a mysterious visitor that sleeps on her bed, Sigyn finds that there was far more to this bargain than was on the surface.

Note: (In honour of the impending release of the Loki miniseries and my sceptical optimism for it, I'm highlighting a few canon-adjacent Loki works that can pass the time between new episodes or, if you're like me, distract from new content long enough to miss the first wave of inevitable Discourse.) englishbutter describes this work as "A Logyn retelling of the Norwegian fairytale 'East of the Sun and West of the Moon,'" though I can only attest to the fantasy epic carefully detailed here. This rendition of Sigyn has the weight of her entire family to consider against every experience in the early arc of this work, and the looming consequence of her failure never drifts far from her mind. Over time a mysterious feature of her circumstances grows ever more enticing, and the consequences of Sigyn's hallmark intelligence sets her on a harrowing, violent path that will leave her, and Jotunheim, forever changed.

- Masterpost on Author's Tumblr | @englishbutter - - Author's Twitter -

Now. I must move now. I cannot wait for any longer.

My mother has a long memory, and she has said to us all a thousand times over that this winter is the worst she has ever seen. It started snowing in October, and even I, likewise blessed with an excellent memory, can never recall such an early snowfall. The cold weather is yet another blow after much of our harvest was washed out by a heavy rainstorm in mid-September. The morning when we woke up to the rain pounding on the roof will be burnt into my memory forever. Hnoss, the youngest of my six sisters and just shy of fourteen decades, had woken up before the dawn. She had never quite grown out of waking up early like my other sisters and me.

“Father! Mother!” she calls. “Look at the rain! It’s falling so hard….”

Her voice rang through our tiny farmhouse — a single room separated only by wicker walls that are more like screens than anything else, keeping the work and food area isolated from the place where the nine of us sleep. My parents share the good bed; my sisters and I sleep on the three straw mattresses pushed against the wall, huddled together like a litter of kittens sharing in each other’s warmth.

“Rain?” Father asks.

Hnoss nods, her blonde curls bouncing in excitement. “Lots. Buckets of rain.” She wiggles her fingers to illustrate.

I don’t think she quite understands the implications of what heavy rain means for us — a family who relies on the harvest to survive through the year.

My father sprints to the door, pausing only to pull on his shoes and a shirt whilst the rest of us sit upright.

“Heavy rain?” the second oldest of my sisters, Lofn, mutters furiously, jamming her feet into her own shoes. “It can’t! Not this close to harvest!”

Vár, who my sisters and I have all agreed takes the pessimistic view on life more often than she should, says, “The weather doesn’t care. We should hurry; salvage what we can.”

“What is it?” Hnoss asks. “It can’t be that bad for the harvest. I mean, everything’s underground, isn’t it? Why would the carrots care?”

No one answers her. We all follow Father out of the door, sprinting through the rain to our three fields. The leftmost is a stone’s throw away from the wood that surrounds our land, and it is flooded, the water coming up past my ankles. I run towards it. Hnoss follows me, and comprehension seems to dawn on her face as she sees how urgently we are scrabbling in the mud, and the crops that have been overturned by the rain.

Continue reading on AO3...

[johannadc]

How to Find Mycroft - Sherlock Season 4 Episode 3 - The Conclusion

In case you just want to watch the bits of Sherlock that have Mycroft in them… timings are taken from my Blu-ray player. Previous episodes can be found here: 

https://johannadc.tumblr.com/tagged/mycroft-video-timings

I've put off doing this for a couple of months for two reasons: First is that I wish there were more. I liked spending time with these characters. 

Second is that, oh, come on, this episode is exhibit A for what happens when showrunners decide that surprising viewers is more important that character consistency or continuity or comprehensible plots. I know, when people have been speculating about your show for years, it's tempting to want to be able to come up with something no one had guessed, but it doesn't lend itself to great art. It's game playing instead of storytelling. Which I suppose is apropos for this show, but still.

(Also, after watching all the featurettes again, I realized that they also wanted to play James Bond while they still could.) 

On the other hand, this episode has lots and lots of Mycroft Holmes.

(Thanks to everyone who read all of these, my first real original Tumblr posts, and I hold out hope that someone will use these to create a supercut of just Mycroft from the Sherlock seasons.)

Season 4 Episode 3, “The Final Problem”

02:15 - 19:40 Mycroft is watching an old movie at home when he discovers he's been locked in. He takes his umbrella sword and wanders through a sequence of cliched movie horrors -- bleeding portraits, spooky little girl, creepy clown, mysterious shadows. It's all a plot by John and Sherlock to terrorize him into telling the truth.

The next morning, Mycroft is the client at Baker Street. He tells Sherlock and John of the Holmes sister Sherlock has forgotten, with cuts back and forth to the Holmes children and Musgrave, the ancestral home. He reveals her presence at Sherrinford.

The story is interrupted by a drone carrying a "patience grenade", so they talk while playing statues. Mycroft reveals that he was Lady Bracknell in The Importance of Being Earnest. Then they run as the flat explodes.

22:14 - 25:38 The governor of the prison island is trying to reach Mycroft, but "he's in hospital... not conscious... severely injured. No one is even confident he's going to pull through." But really, he's dressed up as a bearded fisherman, accompanied by John. Once revealed, Mycroft is angry and berates the governor.

26:52 - 27:34, 29:52 - 30:54, 31:50 - 32:30, 33:52 - 34:31, 34:49 - 35:38 Mycroft, John, and the governor are watching Sherlock talk to Eurus in her cell and recordings of her previous comments. Mycroft reveals her ability to reprogram anyone put in touch with her.

36:49 - 37:15 Mycroft and John have been apprehended by the compromised prison guards and discover Eurus' visitor had been Moriarty.

39:25 - 41:28, 42:07 - 42:12 Flashback to Mycroft meeting Moriarty five years prior to explain his meeting with Eurus. He watches them before turning her camera off.

42:35 - 1:12:33 John, Sherlock, and Mycroft are in Eurus' cell with the governor. They hear the supposed phone call from the girl on the plane, and Eurus begins setting them puzzles. Mycroft says he won't kill and is overcome by the sight of the governor's choice.

Mycroft begins trying to trick Sherlock into killing him instead of John by being as obnoxious as possible at 1:08:09. After Sherlock refuses to shoot one of them, he disappears. (I was going to say from the episode, but there's one more disappointing scene.)

1:25:26 - 1:25:37 And the Mystraders rejoice, as Sherlock asks Greg to look after his brother because "he's not as strong as he thinks he is" in Lestrade's only speaking appearance this episode.

1:26:15 - 1:27:50, 1:31:50 - 1:31:55 Mycroft gets chewed out by his parents for hiding Eurus' survival from them all these years, as he tells them that she no longer communicates and we see Sherlock visiting the island to play violin with her.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

book blogging #1: Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to All Creation

by Olivia Judson, published 2002

Question: what do you think of when you think of books that are “fun” to read?

For me, a lot of speculative fiction comes to mind. Recent books that I found fun include Space Opera (Catherynne M. Valente), The Beautiful Ones (Silvia Moreno-Garcia), and everything by Sarah Gailey that I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. Though I haven’t gotten ahold of it yet, I’m pretty sure Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir) is going to be spectacularly fun as well. 

These are books that aren’t necessarily my favorite stories of all time, but they have been some of my favorites to read. They’re all propelled by zany premises and whirlwind plots, enjoying themselves way too much for anyone to ever stop and worry about the parts that don’t make that much sense. When Sarah Gailey says “I have a crew committing a heist while riding hippopotamuses, do you want in?” I don’t ask questions. I just say yes and go along for the ride.

But there’s one major anomaly that always comes to mind when I think of books that I’ve had fun reading, and that’s David Sax’s The Tastemakers: Why We’re Crazy for Cupcakes but Fed Up with Fondue. It’s a 2014 work of nonfiction, and as the title suggests it’s an analysis of popular food trends and the forces that power them. The Tastemakers isn’t what this blog post is actually supposed to be about, so I won’t go into too many details, but suffice to say that I was engrossed despite the fact that I know pretty much nothing about the world of culinary trends or foodie fads - or cooking in general, if I’m being totally honest. But there’s something really delightful about learning things that are entirely outside your wheelhouse without having to worry about the material showing up on a test later. 

Given that I’m posting this on a blog with relatively few followers and that this is a write-up of a very niche book that was published eighteen years ago and could not be further from trendy, I’m well aware that anyone reading this is probably already at least passing familiar with me and what I do, so you folks might be saying, “Hang on, Makenzie. Are you seriously trying to say that this is outside your wheelhouse? The title on your Tumblr has been “Ask The Sex Witch” since 2015. You’re a whole sex educator, for fuck’s sake!”

Well, yes and no. Judson is a real-deal evolutionary biologist and gets into some pretty serious science in this book, which is pretty wildly different from what I usually do. I talk to people about sorting out their likes and dislikes, their boundaries, their sense of personal sexual autonomy, and so on. Although I definitely advocate for introspection and self-examination, I rarely go looking for answers far beyond the individual level. Judson asks big biological questions to figure out how some truly peculiar-looking behavior evolves: Why is it worthwhile for some animals to fight to the death trying to fuck? What’s up with some species of insects eating their mates? And who, pray tell, is engaging in the noble art of penis-fencing? Clearly, this is a totally different ball game on many levels.

(Speaking of ball games, did you know that the male shiner perch’s testes completely shrivel up over the winter? That’s rough, buddy.)

Offering sex advice to humans is hard enough, but Judson - writing as chipper sex advice columnist Dr. Tatiana - easily offers education to an impressively vast variety of species. The framing device of the book is a charmingly weird one. Each segment opening Dear Prudence-style, with a short letter from an animal badly in need of advice. The first chapter, for instance, begins with a query written by a stick bug called Twiggy (aww) wondering how to get her boyfriend to stop having sex with her after ten continuous weeks of intercourse. (Answer: Girl, he’s not gonna. Apparently that’s how he stops any other stick bugs from getting it in.) For the final chapter Judson mixes it up by formatting a discussion about the pros and cons of asexual reproduction as a hectic daytime talk show, complete with microscopes to view the tiniest guests and seating that offers both saltwater and freshwater tanks for aquatic audience members to sit in, like something out of Zootopia. 

(I haven’t seen Zootopia and the only thing I know about it for sure is that in one scene there’s a DILF-looking tiger, but I’m pretty confident in the assumption I’m making here.) 

Judson does an admirable job of providing pretty comprehensible explanations for a lot of evolutionary science, and while I did have to power skim through a few segments that were really beyond my grasp, it did make a pretty lively read out of the biological pros and cons of producing sperm bigger than your own body. It’s not exactly a book that’s difficult to put down, but I had a perfectly pleasant time reading it in the moments between doing anything else - eating a meal, resting in bed, getting some sun in my backyard - and even learning a little while I did so. I fully intended to use Dr. Tatiana as a break between the two installments of N.K. Jemisin’s Dreamblood duology, and it has served that role magnificently.  

Am I recommending this book to you? Not exactly, unless you’re extremely interested in evolutionary theories that are nearly two decades old or a science fiction writer looking to give your non-human characters some thoroughly non-human sexual habits. I’m not supremely interested in making recommendations with the blog in general, unless someone specifically asks for them; I’m hoping this will be more like writing up my personal thoughts about books and then hurling them into the virtual void like messages in bottles. If they wash up on your shore and you read them and come to the conclusion that this is something you, too, would like to read, that’s pretty rad. I love that for you! But it wasn’t necessarily my intent.

Strictly speaking, I didn’t even recommend this book to myself. In 2019 I tried to stay pretty intentional about my to-read list, really whittling it down to stuff that I actively wanted to engage with rather than anything that sounded vaguely not awful. I was hoping to keep that trend up in 2020, but like many other things that are much more serious, this whole pandemic situation has scuppered those plans a bit. I get most of my books by borrowing them from the public library where I work, and that’s been closed for nearly two months. Unlike many book bloggers I’ve observed I don’t keep a massive stack of unread books around at all times, so I’ve really been relying on the kindness of friends to keep me supplied in these trying times.

My friend Paige slipped me Dr. Tatiana’s (along with the aforementioned Dreamblood books and several volumes of Kurtis J. Weibe’s comic series Rat Queens) in exchange for some books I lent to her, because we all have to look out for each other in These Trying Times. I trusted her good taste, despite having no idea what the book was about and more than a few reservations. 

At other times I think this book might have sailed right over my head - not to sneer at the so-called soft sciences, but there’s a reason I gave up on my childhood dream of marine biology and got a sociology degree instead - but right now, as I’m finally adjusting to the slower pace of life in quarantine and remembering how to focus, I’m finding that it fits my needs. It’s unlikely to live on as an all-time favorite, but it’s something to do and gives me an occasional excuse to gasp and tell my roommate something absolutely wild, like the fact that spiders have two penises and that the dual arachnodicks are located on their faces, on either side of their mouths.

My basic understanding of evolution is that change rarely happens based on logic or reason, but by finding something that works and then sticking to it, no matter how improbable it may seem. When male elephants get horny they apparently develop an insatiable bloodlust and piss so constantly their penises turn green (yikes!), which is definitely not the most practical way to do things, but evidently it’s been getting the job done. Getting through quarantine has been sort of like that, has it not? A lot of behavior that might not be the most intuitive but is somehow enabling ongoing survival, like occupying myself with books that I might not have given a second glance in the halcyon before times.

That’s totally the same thing, right?

Right.

A note about the appearance of this book:

I’ve been talking a fair amount lately about my dislike for what I see as pretty transparently romanticized materialism in a lot of book blogging spaces, with an emphasis placed on acquiring and showing off as many pristine books as possible. I don’t own this book, and it looks like ass. It looks like Paige stole it from a library in North Carolina, which would not be shocking. When I noticed the large brown stain in the corner I jokingly asked if she’d dropped it in coffee, and she unflinchingly confirmed that yes, she had.

[lesdoublesll]

You claim yourself as theon stan, but why do you ship him with someone who's literally tortured and abused him? Are you not uncomfortable seeing your favorite character being tortured?

Yes I am uncomfortable seeing him in pain espacially when I know what intense pain is.(my everyday life is full of pain with endometriosis but also ptsd ahah) Yes Theon is my absolute favorite. He helped me understand who I was, which problems I had, and I admire him with all of my heart. I relate to him so much after what happened to me, as a sexual abuse victim. And Alfie ? God this man is my everything. He is a wonderful human being, the sweetest person I've ever met, someone who got through a lot too, and who knows what it's like, receiving hate for something harmless (portraying his character for example).

The relationship on screen Btw Theon and Ramsay (being portrayed by amazing actors) is so interesting. It really helped me opening more and more about my own problems, it helped me understand those problems, it helped me face them. Really. And writing fanfictions to share what happened to you, to slowly open up ? It's one of the most amazing feeling of freedom I've known. It's like I won against those monsters who are still inside my head, I won against those fucking disgusting human beings, because I am not afraid to tell what they DID anymore. They didn't shut me up. I have the control I've never have before. It made me HEAL, without taking medication like some doctors could ask me to take. Today I am fine, because I can talk, and that's a power they do not have here.

Thramsay IS so important to me, and none of you there can make me stop feeling better. Your hate - anonymous hate again ahah (i only answered to this anonymous message because the person sounded more curious than rude thx 💜) will never prevent me from doing what I like and what makes me feel in control of myself again. I don't care what you think: I am not an horrible person. I am just surviving the way I can in a cruel world. And it works for me : I am happy again and couldn't care less about what you think.

Then. I am a masochistic girl. We still don't know if it's...an answer from my brain to what happened (turning the pain into pleasure/wanting to have the control this time when I suffer etc) or if it just what my brain does. But what can I say ? I like bdsm, and reading or writing consensual bdsm Thramsay is hot (I mean look at Iwan and Alfie.) If you want to kinkshame me go on, but it's an horrible thing to do you know. I will never be ashamed of what I like, just like I will never be ashamed of what I am.

Besides it's still fiction. Not real life. So calm down people.

If you don't like it, ignore us. Don't go on the thramsay tag on ao3.

I may be a Thramsay fan, but Ive never kinkshame or harrassed anyone because of what they ship or which characters they like. We are all free to appreciate fiction the way we'd like without someone screaming "BuT yOU doN'T hAvE mOrALs", feeling so good about themself and what they like, whereas sometimes they are far worst than you are without even realising it. I've never send direct or anonymous hate, for instance... and when I do write a post about something that angers me, it's generally an answer to what ppl are telling me about what I like. (Danny stans who told me that Danny didn't do anything wrong but Theon did for example - fucking stupid)

On a lighter note I want to remind you all that Alfie is the sweetest human being ever. We talked a lot about our families and our own problems feeling accepted. That's when I told him that his portrayal of Theon, in the context of the abusive relationship btw Theon and Ramsay, really helped me and why. He looked so sad, but he listened to me without interrupting. And then he said he was happy to have helped me with my own problems, and that he also was happy to see how happy I looked today too, having the strenght to come here in a crowd of ppl I didn't know. He also then signed for free the photo we made together earlier, when he lifted me up whereas I asked for a hug, and he said no because " I was his kraken Princess" . On the photo there is now a heart on our conjoined torsos, and a little message from Alfie "To Lorraine. It's such a pleasure to meet you. *heart*" And then it was so unreal I cried, so he hugged me and said "Shh it's over. Don't be silly. Don't cry. " and waited until I stopped crying. When we saw each other again, at the end of the con he smiled at me and said : "Take care".

See ? Alfie never felt disgusted by what I told him. He is one of the most comprehensive person I know. And you can't take this memory and this comfort as well.

I don't feel disgusted. I am proud of my journey.

All of you Thramsay antis. Just ignore us.

All of you, ppl sending hate. Go fuck yourself. You will be blocked from this tumblr if you don't keep your mouth shut. Because I don't want to fight with ppl who will never understand what it is like.

Thanks for reading this

If you are still there after this post : thank you. Have a nice day.

[fericita-s]

Turn Around and the Time Has Flown

Here is an Agnarr and Iduna baby-naming fic, requested by  kanshou87 on AO3 and @showurselfelsa here on tumblr. I borrowed Revna from @jomiddlemarch. Thanks for the loan! Part of the When All is Lost series @the-spastic-fantastic and I are writing. Thanks to her for reading this and helping me embrace the dark side of angst fic!

They had been married for a year and a half before the need to talk about baby names with any sense of immediacy arose.

Cuddled in a window seat, Iduna felt cold despite the summer sun streaming in and turning their refuge a small greenhouse.  As they tried to name the life that was growing, the life that would make them a family in a new way, Iduna enjoyed needling Agnarr by choosing the names of his foreign would-be brides.  The women who would have been queen if Agnarr had consented to match-making for an alliance.

“I had so hoped to name our first daughter Tunde, or perhaps Erzsebet.”  She sighed dramatically and placed a hand on her waist, where only the faintest roundness showed that a baby would be born in another six months.

Agnarr had beads of sweat on his forehead from their spot in the sun, but stayed next to Iduna, one arm around her shoulder as he held her, his other hand tracing delicate circles around her middle. “Oh? And is your very favorite name Alexsandra? I hear it’s all the rage on the continent.”

Iduna  laughed, pleased he had known she was having fun, and not still tender about his time hosting and wooing women from several kingdoms.

“And what if it’s a boy? Shall we name him after your father?”

Agnarr sighed.  “I suppose that would be expected. But that’s a heavy burden to carry, the name of a king who died in battle. Maybe one of your brothers’ names?”

Iduna wondered if her brothers were even alive.  They might have died in the battle too. It was a sad thought for what should be a happy time, a birth recalling those who were dead one way or another in her life here in Arendelle.  Naming her child for in honor of her Northuldra family might be the only way for those names to live.  But it might also reveal her origins and put the baby in danger.

“I think my brothers’ names are too foreign for Arendelle. People will wonder.” She thought some more, wanting a way to be herself and be safe.  It was a delicate negotiation she began during her first days at Eir’s and continued now even as Queen. “My grandmother’s name was Elsa. She was the one who made my shawl, who wrapped me in it when I was born. I’ve heard that name here, too.” Iduna shivered slightly, the warm memory of her grandmother not changing how the very breath inside of her felt cold.

“Elsa. I like it.” He leaned in to kiss her, willing the heat of his body to warm her, to stop this chill that seemed to grow with the baby.

***

Elsa was an easy baby and grew into a happy, pleasant toddler.  She was content to be near her mother even if her mother did not rise from the bed. She sometimes refused her soup by freezing it in the bowl, but mostly was intrigued by the snow she accidentally made, surprised and delighted each time by its appearance.

She was a quiet child, content even at a year and a half to play silently with the figurines Henrik brought her as a baby gift.

“Noah’s ark? For a baby? Isn’t that a little gruesome?” Iduna had asked when Henrik presented it to the new parents at the baptism.

“It’s a Bible story! I’m trying to be respectable. Considering some of the other gifts I’ve offered Agnarr over the years - ”

Agnarr had cut him off with a hearty clap on the shoulder and a laugh. "Thank you, Henrik. It's very thoughtful.  I'm sure Elsa will love it."

Agnarr, while proud and delighted that Elsa had the gift of magic, knew it wasn’t wise for the whole kingdom to know.  The prejudice against magic had only grown since the failed Northern Expedition.  The Arendellians still suspected the magic of the Enchanted Forest was to blame for both the massacre and the mist that kept its secrets, denying closure to those whose loved ones had vanished behind it.

He knew keeping her secret close was the best way to protect both his magical daughter and his Northuldra wife. And in a northern kingdom like Arendelle, it was not hard to explain away the chill or the wet that followed in the small child’s wake.  What babies weren’t wet in one way or another?

It became harder to keep magic a secret with Iduna’s second pregnancy. Only Midwife Jora was allowed to tend to Iduna, in bed, feverish with an unbreaking consistency. Elsa was in the room, cooling it intermittently with the ice magic she couldn’t control.

The fever-reducing remedy had no effect and even Elsa in the room could offer little relief for the heat building inside of the Queen’s body. Iduna felt thick and swollen, was thick and swollen. The constant, oppressive heat made her feel like she was in the mist surrounding the stones that marked the border of the Enchanted Forest. It was wrapped around her, pressing in, giving her days the sensation of a strange dream.

Elsa would walk over to her mother, touch her head and arms with her cool hands, and Iduna would stroke her daughter’s hair, fighting through the haze to be present.

A raven appeared at the window one day and Elsa clapped to see it, called to it saying "Hi Bird! Birdy!"

Iduna turned in the bed to see, already a cumbersome process even though the baby was not yet large.  She turned white at the sight.

"It's a raven."

When Agnarr came to the room the night, she told him, crying at what she had seen, able to express her fears now that Elsa was tucked in her own bed down the hall and would not witness it.

"It was a raven. They bring death." Her voice hitched on the last word. Agnarr took her in his arms, cradling her like a baby. She seemed smaller to him somehow, this pregnancy was diminishing her in a way that alarmed him. He would speak with Midwife Jora in the morning. Surely she knew something else they could try besides ice baths and cooling cloths.

"It's an Arendellian Raven. They bring messages from the old gods, from Odin himself. It's a good sign. It's a sign of blessing, of favor.  Not ill will."

Agnarr said so in his king voice, the one he used to give commands and quell disputes. As if  by ordering it, by wishing it, he could will the baby healthy and his wife whole.

"Then why do I feel death close?" she asked, barest of whispers, a layer of sweat keeping her body wet and uncomfortable.

She was right, though she didn't want to be.  In her seventh month, Midwife Jora helped with the too-early delivery and baby Revna came out in a rush of red and heat.  Iduna slept for an entire day and, when she woke, the heat was no longer a palpable force inside of her.  She had aching breasts filled with milk and arms that ached to hold a baby. Midwife Jora laid cabbage leaves on her breasts and served her sage tea, and Iduna wondered how part of her body could be so ready for a baby although she had failed to bring that baby into the world alive.

***

After Revna, they didn't want to choose a name until the baby was born.  Iduna felt wonderful the entire pregnancy; hadn't even realized she was pregnant until the fourth month. Her cycle had not been regular since her first, especially after Revna, and it wasn’t until she felt the baby stir inside her that she knew.

She was used to pregnancy making her entire body feel foreign - too hot, or too cold. But this time, she just felt joyful. It was a gift, to feel like herself.  To play with Elsa and dig in the dirt and accompany Agnarr to council meetings. As she got larger and larger in the summer months, she and Elsa would take off their shoes and stockings and wade into the pond on the castle grounds. Iduna and Agnarr showed Elsa the gardens and grounds and all of the surprises one could find there, the lichen and boska and rosemary touched and felt and brought back to the castle for observation. And, often, frozen accidentally on the way.

Agnarr delighted to watch his wife and daughter through the castle windows while he was confined to a council meeting or dictating correspondences. Though Iduna had no complaints this time, he once again moved Midwife Jora into the castle. He watched his wife warily, waiting for the fevers or the chills to plague her again. At night, she soothed him.  "See how strong I am? See how strong the baby is?"

She stroked his face and kissed his mouth and laid her head on his chest, trying to give him the strength and calm she felt in her bones. But still, the memory of Revna was too close. Naming this child felt like claiming something the spirits and gods hadn’t yet decided to give them.  Neither one of them dared to name the still-growing child, afraid a name would make the grief unbearable if this child too could not take a breath.

So when she was born, kicking and squalling, they both felt it was a gift beyond compare, riches beyond their comprehension. "She's a gift, our Anna. A gift of grace and beauty." Iduna cupped Anna’s head, seeing the hint of red hair, delighted to see Agnarr in miniature.

"Two daughters! Sisters! I hope they'll never be as lonely as we were as children. They will always have each other,” said Agnarr. 

At Anna’s birth, his joy was so deep and complete he had to be reminded to attend to the duties of king. For the first time, he forgot about council meetings, forgot about troop reviews and ceremonial duties. He stayed next to Iduna, holding this tiny miracle child who survived, who thrived, who looked like him when no one else on earth did.

[sobdasha]

"I definitely updated my list of books I was reading on tumblr so it's all good" -me, a lying liar, right before spending several months finishing my reread of All The Discworld Books I Own But In Chronological Order For The First Time Ever Which In Fact Makes A Difference.

(and then I did it again after the libraries closed)

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin Hm, so. I definitely read this. At some point. It was not really for me, not bad, but not really for me. This particular edition had various notes before and after the text, all of which I read, which made it an experience I got more out of. It's important for me to know that the author is aware that the protagonist is a raging misogynist who's stupid, and yes this was on purpose so you'd realize how really incredibly stupid he is and thus maybe be tricked into changing your mind yourself. It is a legit tactic, but one I tend not to enjoy, so if I hadn't been forewarned I'd have been UUUUGGGGGHHHH MAKE HIM SHUT UP ALREADY and probably rage-quit. As it was, I was able to better appreciate what Le Guin was doing here, even if this book didn't win a place in my heart and I probably won't reread. I definitely preferred Ancillary Justice's take, with the feminine pronouns. For my brain, masculine pronouns = they might as well all be men = business as usual = I didn't really get any gender queering from it. I can't really remember much else now. Oh, it was also part "survival in the wilderness" story, which they're big on making you read in school (which I find very suspicious), and which I tolerated and read a few classic ones on my own until they kept assigning these kinds of stories for us to read and now I get nothing from them and mindlessly hate them. Anyway, as I said, not bad at all but not really for me.

Lavinia, Ursula K. Le Guin This one's a reread--I picked it up from the library during college because we were doing Titus Andronicus in class and it didn't occur to me that there might be more than one Lavinia???? But hey it worked out because later in college we did the Aeneid and then I had Background for rereading Lavinia. This is the book that is lyrical and beautiful and pulls me in and makes me care deeply about the world and the characters. This is the book of Le Guin's that makes me feel the way everyone else feels about Earthsea and The Left Hand of Darkness and etc. I would like to find more of Le Guin's work that makes me feel the same way, because as I've said you can really tell from her other stuff that she's a solid writer who knows her stuff. I just…don't enjoy any of the other things. Anyway I recommend. I always forget about this book, and then when I reread I'm like "wow why don't I read this more often?????"

How Long 'Til Black Future Month?, N. K. Jemisin I liked every story in this short story collection. I should just reread it and try writing this up again tbh but also tbh I'll probably do the rereading and then just not write anything up again. Just read Jemisin's stuff I love her writing so much okay. ETA: that’s exactly what I did, I reread this during my covid rereads and said “I should do a proper write-up this time” and lo and behold where is it

Tehanu, Ursula K. Le Guin Okay, this last Earthsea book treated me much better than the others. It's probably not for everyone else, which might be why it's for me. It's much more domestic, much less "plot" happening, full of introspection, and centered on women rather than men. This novel acknowledges and confronts the rampant internalized misogyny in the previous three books, engages it in a way that the misandrist in me finds satisfying even though it never comes to a good solution for the problem. This book is more like a reflection. Earthsea has never been about "light is always good, dark is always bad; be a hero, fight evil" etc. But this one I think shifts the tone a little farther; it's less about balance, and more...I guess I'd put it as, "actions have consequences." It's not concerned with right or wrong, it's concerned with people getting hurt. It's pretty somber and serious, without any humor to balance it out, tons of bad things happen to people, lots of PTSD...but this time I really cared about the characters, and I feel like it was all handled really well? In addition to critiquing internalized misogyny, it also critiqued victim blaming. Seemed like it handled disability pretty well too--was honest about how people are jerks about it in reality, while still being optimistic and treating Therru as valuable; made occasional mentions of considering work-arounds for having only one fully-functional hand, while mostly just having Therru go about living and doing chores and being capable and assuming she did find those work-arounds without having to draw attention to it; and Therru's terrible scars didn't get magically healed at the end, the whole book makes a point all the way through that her physical scars will always be with her the same way her emotional scars will be, and she's simply learned how to go on living with them. Tehanu: a book full of trauma happening to people, where what would normally be the plot in a fantasy novel ended up not even getting started to be resolved, but Le Guin's writing and handling of the subject matter helped heal my jaded soul.

Ninefox Gambit, Yoon Ha Lee A quick summary of my experience: Chapter 1 - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is going on what even Chapter 2 - no, no this is just, this is what sci fi is like, right? Just give it a few chapters and then by the end of the book everything will probably make sense. I'm sure that's how it works. Remember how even in Ancillary Justice I ended up with two separate Battles of Valskay, but now everything is fine??? It's. Fine. Chapter 4 - (ohhhhhhh I still don't know what's going on) Several Chapters Later - still no clue what's going on, but hit my stride with the terminology, my foreign language instinct kicked in where words stopped sounding weird and while I could not for the life of me define any terms for you, I had a vague comprehension of how the words operated In Context. Sort of. And by then I had, without realizing it, begun page-turning and binging, so I guess I liked the book lol! Another serious-but-not-funny one, but with an extra dose of War Memoir and all the gruesomeness that entails (but probably, like any good War Memoir, probably not actually gratuitous and actually in fact the necessary amount of gruesome). Jedao was turned into a woobie at the last minute and, well, damn, guy knows the way to my heart. The novel apparently gripped me enough that I don't even mind that it only came into play at the very end of the game. And hey, there's two more novels to deal with that revelation, which I have picked up from the library to read immediately! Yay! Current personal theory: based on the heavy math references that made me want to cry at the start, but the almost entire absence of actual numbers, and a reference to "there's no way actual physics works like that, it was obviously a calendrical effect" or something…I'm going to throw out a wild guess that the calendar stuff (and all the social structuring that goes with it) is so that they can break and reinvent math. So they can effect a universe where 2+2=5 and therefore a bunch of people standing in this exact position makes a force field or bullets of rose thorns or whatever and some other dude can make himself immortal. This sounded like a pretty terrible theory already and it sounds even worse now I've typed it up but oh well.

Raven Stratagems, Yoon Ha Lee Guess who didn't write this up back when she read it!!! Also, I returned Ninefox Gambit to the library right before the libraries shut down for covid. So, I had Raven and Revenant on hand for months but I didn't have Ninefox on hand to do an immediate reread to see if that made the sci fi make more sense. (It probably wouldn't have, but I would have liked to do a rereading while the ending was still fresh.) By this time there is a lesser degree of visceral viscera. Lee is brutal, however, about continuing to be honest about what war costs and whether war is worth that cost (which depends, really, on whose lives you think matter. Very relevant for these times. Very much prepared me to shut up and not whine about the inconveniences of protests and their fallout. There is no pretty and clean way to have a revolution, since it involves destroying a particular [terrible] way of life, so we're all just gonna have to sacrifice together). Also I think by this point all the character development from the first novel paid off in the form of character dynamics being hilarious now despite, y’know, the gruesome shadow of war.

Revenant Gun, Yoon Ha Lee Continues to discuss the honest price of war and the messiness of fallout. Shuos "The risks I took were calculated, but boy am I bad at math" Jedao. Oh I think this is also the one where every so often one of the characters thinks, "Okay so this person is a tyrannical murderous dictator but he is ensuring that there will never again be food shortages and no one in the space empire ever goes hungry." And then Lee turns around and is like, "Haha but don't forget this same person invented a form of vital infrastructural technology (and also immortality) that is optionally based off ritual human torture sacrifice. Like he didn't have to do that to make it work. He just decided to anyway. And that's always bad :) " (Also useful in our current climate of "Okay but we should consider the other person's circumstances and point of view" and also "Yeah but that doesn't apply if they're literally Nazis tho.")

Hexarchate Stories, Yoon Ha Lee A collection of short stories set in the universe of those three books. There's one story at the end that does satisfy the "But I wanted another sequel!!!" urge. And there's a bit of backstory for Jedao and Cheris. But by and large what you should be in the mood to read is flash fiction snippets that simply happen to be set in the same universe but have no bearing on the plot. Which is pretty cool and interesting if you are in the proper mindset! Even better, Lee includes author's notes at the end of each story to talk about the story, or the influences, or the context of his life at the time, etc etc. That is always my absolute favorite part of a short story collection. Also these notes told me everything I needed to know about why I liked certain things about his writing. "I wanted to write my own AUs," "If I get stuck I go on TV Tropes," "My only regret is that I had to cut the scene where Jedao goes to ~Halloween~ dressed as himself and trolls people" ahhhh that's also a regret I share.

Dragon Pearl, Yoon Ha Lee This one is YA! There is a lot less gore although I guess there was still genocide! Read this when you are in the mood for something that doesn't attempt to hide the fact that the plot is completely, conveniently contrived to give you fast-paced action and fun. Min sure has a lot of coincidental meetings that should stretch my disbelief but I don't care. Also, I am enjoying reading books with girls as protagonists that do what I'm tired of being told to love about boy protagonists--just keep barreling along with complete self-assurance that you are right and, if you run into trouble, you can egotistically figure your way out.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin Gods and mortal ruling family's messy soap opera sexcapades is not exactly my favorite genre, but luckily it is handled by Jemisin so it's all good. Lots of Souma Family Values. I'm really appreciating how Jemisin considers choice of narrator very carefully and uses it to brilliant effect in this trilogy. Stories are things told by a narrator to an audience; why should we rely on the artifice of an "impartial" "reliable" "omniscient" 3rd person narrator writing into the void? This trilogy was Jemisin's first, I believe, so it's a little awkward coming back to them now, only because Jemisin is such a powerful writer that the themes she's begun working with here have only gotten stronger with each successive work.

The Broken Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin This one I rated as I read for Protagonist Is Blind based on the scale of a sighted person going "but some of my best friends are blind!" In that regard, I think the book does really well! Blindness doesn't define Oree's life and value; Oree doesn't get magical powers that make her a blind person who isn't really blind; Oree moves away from home and gets a job and lives on her own which seems very accurate to me based on my knowledge of one (1) person who is blind; instead of being ~cured~, Oree actually gets more blind at the end of the story and this is considered a Good Ending. Also personal bonus points are awarded for references to her stick being handy for hitting people with. Some stuff was stereotypical, but Jemisin's intent was not. A+, will read again, please support including way more characters who are blind in media. Anyway I enjoyed this one.

The Kingdom of Gods, N. K. Jemisin First off, Jemisin directly up front critiques the narration choices she made in the first two books and then pays it off like a boss at the end. Like holy crap. I admit by now I was getting a bit bored of the genre, but the book was still very engaging because Jemisin is a master. It may also have been affected by how much increasing pain I've been in lately.

The Awakened Kingdom, N. K. Jemisin I'm dead. This one was way more my speed and you need the other three books to understand this novella but ohhhh my god it's perfect. I read a lot of choice passages of this aloud to my roommate because how could you resist. It's still heavy but it's hilarious. Bless Shill.