#tumblr didnt tell me i has asks WTF

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 1 - the gc birth

in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends

or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28

__

THE GLADE

[ 7:45 PM ]

alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally

alby: Hello, guys.

minho: wtf is this

newt: uhhhh

tommy: hi :3

y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private

gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number

newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n

tommy: oh that’s y/n?

alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??

newt: yea

tommy: o.O

y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao

tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????

y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p

newt: lmao

minho: ik he smug as fuck rn

not u asking for a girls number lmao simp

newt: stop

y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it

plus you guys are friends irl so idk

it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh

minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n

we play games all the time

call all the time

we even send packages and shit

you’re very much considered our irl friend

y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺

tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️

minho: the heart eyes are crazy

but yes dude

newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you

minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO

but real ig

y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE

hahahahha

HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR

I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER

gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys

minho: gally sleeps in the corner

gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion

y/n: cherry blossom mansion*

gally: and you sleep in a shed

y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.

tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰

y/n: love you tommy <3333

minho: that’s actually nasty stop now

y/n: u mad ur unloved

i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((

newt: aw it is

minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord

alby: I’m done with Discord.

newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate

minho: mate 💀💀

british people so crazy

alby: Yes maybe..

I don’t want to make another.

y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to

minho: LMAO REAL

alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)

minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀

newt: minho admitting he’s jobless

minho: you work at a library be so fr rn

newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.

gally: LMFAOOOOOOO

minho: stfu :////

y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY

tommy: YAAAY!!!!

im going to text you guys all day

tell you every meal

every thought

every interaction will be meaningful and glorious

newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that

minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit

why not just do it before in the discord ??

tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..

y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy

newt: ok second thought that’s fine

minho: .

gally: that’s wild.

y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST

newt: first with what

y/n: say what u ate today

newt: didn’t say i’d do it.

tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333

you guys next

minho: that’s all you had bro..

y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D

minho: ??????? BRO

how are you guys alive

y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking

newt: please eat and drink water.

like for real and document it

y/n: ok wait

there

tommy: yum!

minho: y/n..

newt: cereal does not count

y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY

im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare

newt: alright what do you want?

y/n: wym?

newt: like if you could pick.

minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it

i like it go on.

tommy: i want chick fil a

minho: i knew you hate the gays

tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????

y/n: ugh that does sound good

mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch

newt: that’s what you would order?

y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh

newt: ok

minho: that’s it?

i thought soemthing would happen

tommy: me too

like a spell! magic 🪄

y/n: sigh

my cereal tastes bad now

newt: well it is cocoa puffs.

minho: L cereal

y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG

minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L

newt: you're annoying minho

minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that

newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying

minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday

newt: ???

myself

and i paid for yours too

im the one with an income

minho: .

well i didnt think youd remember that well.

newt: it was literally yesterday.

minho: yeah but ur old

newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU

minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔

tommy: guys stop fighting

newt: we aren't fighting

maybe this gc was a bad idea

tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!

y/n: NOOOO!

tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl

y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was

y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.

wait there is a knock at my door im scared

newt: answer it

minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????

newt: well usually yes

y/n: no im not expecting company

newt: just do it pls

y/n: ok :D

minho: bruh..

i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt

newt: why would you want that

minho: bc she owes me money

newt: YOU owe ME money

minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux

tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE

y/n: :o....

tommy: Y/N?????????

OH GOD THEY GOT HER

minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got

tommy: clearly its a surprised face

maybe its not her

its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use

y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!

minho: me

newt: you literally did not

minho: shut up

y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt

newt: well

y/n: :(

newt: what why are you sad?

minho: im hungry too

y/n: u spent ur money :(

newt: you're hungry are you not?

minho: she's not but i am

y/n: yeah but..

i feel bad you shouldn't have

newt: just eat it or i'll be mad

minho: i think i want red lobster

newt: it's really no big deal y/n

y/n: thank you newt :(((((

newt: you're welcome

go eat and watch ur show or smth

minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving

newt: can you shut up

gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.

minho: thank god

newt: good

tommy: good

y/n: good

the food is good too <3

newt: good.

_

lmk if you want to be tagged!

[carmenized-onions]

review

chip is the biggest fourth wall breaker and i love it for her - time is definitely linear 100% we didn’t just read a tenet vibe flashback forward around and sideways episode that isn’t what happened?

her and carmy are so skinny not breaking the counter

any shoes left undropped? oh how i love your continued motifs

BEFORE YOU KNEW ME YOU CALLED ME CARMY???? completely and utterly feral. she found him charming!!! teehee. she is such a tumblr girl #parasocialrelationshipvibes

she found him charming teehee

chip is simultaneously the second most awkward and the least awkward and carmy is consistently the most awkward

okay the car incident was a month ago, good to know because the fever dreams are ongoing

promised to ask you out (when he’s mentally stable) LOL WHENS THAT HAPPENING

god you are so good at talking about throats i never knew that the feeling of someone’s throat could make me feel emotions

HE IS A MORON oh my god but he isn’t a bad guy (tumblr needs to see this after their comments on season 3 carmy)

carmy i beg do the fucking work i need you two to have sex now x

i love the way i can’t exactly tell who’s thoughts these are/ the respective it’s being written from - like some lines are so chip then some are so carmy and some are also giving me michael vibes (could be completely off parr with this and you didn’t intend for me to read into it this much).

for example

- [ ] “you squint like he’s a moron” is so chip, but then the “he is” is so mikey

- [ ] and then the “of course you want him to change” is so carmy and the “he sucks” is so mikey

stop thinking about food carmy oml wrap it up,

oh carmy you could definitely be better but

NO CHIP YOU COULD NOT BE BETTER NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT “insert rodrick saying deny deny deny”

jk chip is a flawed character but also so likeable and that’s why we love her

the peoples princess did go hard to be fair this is so random but my ex boyfriend always said i was a fixer like chip but he never called me the peoples princess and the reason why is insane… HE DIDNT KNOW WHO PRINCESS DIANA WAS. bear in mind this boy was a fucking genius, going to one of the hardest degrees at a very good school and we are both british how in hell do you not know who princess diana is you fucking weirdo

i knew he was a making a dish in his head, and what does he do, go and prove me right and make a dish in his head

ITS EASIER TO MAKE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE FOR YOU,,,,, ABOUT YOU WTF

me with a chronic nail biting problem and a therapist 👁️👄👁️

you are both little morons i need richie (ideally mikey but that’s obvs no possible) to come and tell you this

finally they are back in sync

this proving yourself thing is kind of crazy but it’s also carmen so EVENTUALLY THANK GOD

it is definitely weird to have the same therapist

the cat analogy is so good i feel it in my bones

i would say i love you tbf, too soon but she was MIKEYS PICK

such a cat response

i’m glad we have reaffirmed that she will still work there because i need to see this happen

with you??? wtf do you mean you two need labels istg

he has receipts like idk what to tell you it’s fucking carmy and when it comes to chip he’s finna be in the pit (be prepared)

my reaction to carmy v fields…. oh yeah:

- THIS IS TOO GOOD WTAF

- i needed this. i needed this so fucking much

- WALK HIM LIKE A FUCKING DOG

- THIS WAS ON THE FUCKING ROADTRIP - GOD I WISH I WAS THERE RVEN FUCKING MORE WYG

-GOD YOU ARE SO FUCKING CHEKHOVS GUN

- i was chilling with dirty details and NOW ITS THIS YOU ARE AMAZING

- head of the head of the head IN THEIR HEADS

- PROZAC RIDDLED FUCKS LIKE ME… are you actually on prozac… no?

- WHY IS FAK BERE?? GO FUCKING HOME

- best friend FAK? we will talk about best friend fak later

- i love this website commentary- i had to make a website once and it was the worst experience of my life

- of course chip would learn web design

- GET HIM CARMEN FUCKINF GET HIS ASSSSSS

- WE DONT PLAY IN CHICAGO (this is so my city vs london in the uk)

- ROAD TRIP SQUAD OH MY FUCKING GOD

- i was wondering what he meant by dusty and dead… i get it now

- tip your servers and don’t ask for their numbers

- one thing richie believes is fuck the feds (even the paramedics)

*deep breath*,,, moving on

they need to kiss rn like they just do while he imagines food she imagines drinks. i would say i love you? so just fucking say it AND FUCKING KISS ALREADY

your writing, like it really is fucking amazing

oh my god

THEY KISSED TEEHEE TEHEE I AM LITERALLY KICKING MY FEET

i love the bear fandom all uniting on the fact that carmy likes having his hair pulled. like there is one consistency across all fanfictions and it is that carmy will whine when someone pulls on his hair

*chekovs gunshot* she gets headaches when she smokes, she likes the taste of his mouth, he wants to fly her to paris. these were all in one sentence YOU ARE TOO GOOD

“I want you to be permanent and carved in my tables and I want you to wear my jackets and I want you in my kitchen and in my menu and in every dumb fucking conversation I have at Christmas tellin’ family what the fuck I’m doing— I want you in every sentence.”

i’m going to do a full analysis on this… this is fucking literature i don’t know what else to say.

FAK GO AWAY I WANT THEM TO FUCK COME ON DUDE

another thing consistently in the best fanfic. carmen is a biter

the mood is not dead FUCK ALREADY

i was so worried the vibe ending would be the end of the chapter and i would have cried THANKYOU FOR WRITING SO MUCH I LOVE YOU AND YOUR RIDICULOUS WORD COUNTS

SYD IS HER OLD CAT, this is why her and carmy are so good as coworkers

you are genuinely unbelievable

“get your weird little hands off my chip you perv “they’re not weird little hands” “why is that what you dispute” they are children

i don’t feel that i can really say anything on how you wrote the scene of richie and chip after because it cannot suffice in saying how good you are at this

go away dee dee i just got a smudge of happiness

oh sugar how i’ve missed you

the. first. christmas. without. mikey.

only the girls who babysat get chip

fucking rich boy carmy thinks he’s bad now he got payed. OKG I SAID THIS BEDORE I RVEN READ THE CHARMIN LINE WE ARE THE SAME (jk you are better than me)

he wants her soooo bad

OH MY GOD. she is making him watch ratatouille. carmen you literally are a weird rat . like you are THE WEIRD RAT

of course she’s a makeup cleansing balm user that is my queen bitch. also she wants to wear converse she’s so cringe i love her

he wants her on his team!?!!

aw he’s thinking a normal carmy amount like he’s helping her plan outfits and he’s ensuring they include her accent colour so say yes to being on his team pls

yeah carmy wants the apron to be easy to take off too LOL

richie the certified on god boy

you are the queen of stupid and meaningless (not stupid at all) stuff that is actually very meaningful

he is so big brother energy (richie)

the younger siblings taking turns to sit in the console i love this it is so real

they say they’ll be happy about it but they’ll curse you behind your back

you recognise all of it. it’s nearly enough to make you cry. - ouch

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE. HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE 10 TIMES

AND DONE

this chapter was the emotional relief i needed fuck

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT FUCKING TIME IT IS!!!!!!!

sometimes. we simply need a reminder that time is linear LMAO. listen. is it fourth wall breaking or just dissasocciation? Maybe both. Maybe it's mabelliyne.

NOT SKINNY LMAOOO as a plus size girl, I truly was considering writing in somewhere a moment of Chip awkwardly having to crawl up on the counter (how do people do just jump on the thing? i do not have that power)

I fear I'll never let go of my shoe motif. I fear I'll actually never let it drop.

Parasocial Chip my beloved,,, man I gotta write blurbs of her in her crush era when she didn't know Carm yet. SOMEONE REQUEST IT How are you NOT supposed to find this Denmark Virgin with a LOT of jean jackets hot??!?!?! he's charming!!! also you're BOTH losing at the not-awkward-lympics.

i truly have to reastablish the timeline by saying 'month ago' because if i dont i will truly forget where we are in time. i'm almost certain i've gotten dates wrong anyways. it's fine, the revisions will fix it alright it's fine.

THANK YOU I TRY TO TALK ABOUT THROATS IN A FUN WAY. I guess honestly I feel emotional in my throat, when I get emotional. Like. If I get mad or sad or guilty, it sort of closes up a bit? Feels hollow? And did I assume everyone's throat does that? yeah possibly. but it worked out.

i do NOT engage in da tumblr discourse much, esp when it comes to hating characters in general, but I hope everyone has eased up on my boy since taking a step back. Man is going through a lot. I also just think like man, I have certainly not been the most cognizant of other's needs when I'm in a stage or high stress fight or flight--- And certainly if those needs aren't made clear--- dog, I'm doublin down!!! that's truly the biggest difference I think with CK and The Bear diverging--- We communicate in dis house.

LMAOOOOO I DID FORGET WHILE REREADING THAT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT NOTE YOU DEMANDED THEY FUCK, yeah that's fair. I keep thinking it's gonna happen and pushing it honestly. these assholes are gonna get married before they get down with it, good lord. someone get them a room that isn't a bathroom.

also this Mikey thing. with the thoughts. was honestly so mindblowing. I know that's weird because I'm the writer, but I see what you're saying completely!! I've always had this weird style of like, second persion omniscient where it's Chip but sometimes I move in terms of the stream of consciousness to being her or someone else or no one; and the idea of that stream of consciousness being by in part, Mikey?? OHHHHH OHHHHHH BABBYYYY Totally puts so much stuff in a different context and I love it. canon it. canon it. i didn't come up with it but canon it.

DENY !! DENY!! CHIP THAT'S NOT YOU IN THE PHOTO!! I'm so glad people think chip is flawed. I know that's literally insane to say but I've had this horrific habit of categorizing flaws in my head as 'good flaws' and 'bad flaws', and 'good flaws' are the ones that make everyone elses life better and your life worse.

so.

need to seek a therapist about that a little bit. C

INSANE TO BE ALIVE LET ALONE BRITISH AND NOT KNOW WHO LADY DI IS???? but yknow what home boy probably wouldn't even be creative enough to say 'peoples' princess' as a diss. carmen/me ate with that.

when is this fucker not cooking. it's like that scene in Tick Tick Boom but romantic and NOT sad and bad. IT'S NICE TO BE THE ARTIST AND ARTIST AND MUSE AND MUSE ALRIGHT it's frankly my ideal relationship

bro i RIP my free edge of my nails off all the time when they get too long, and pick at my cuticle skin. I feel you. I dont have a therapist just yet but I feel you.

If Mikey was still alive to see his OTP happen, I truly don't know how he'd react. I think he'd be losing his mind in silence. Like has to put his fist in his mouth so he doesn't scream and ruin it.

I'm so glad the cat analogy was good, while writing it I was like "i wonder if this is anything" i'm glad it's something.

Fields v Berzatto was fun to write. It's what I think, if he was hyped up enough, what Carmen would do after having that S3 Finale talk with Fields. Like very much so when you leave an interaction and you're at home hours later like FUCK. i could've said this and this and this and this. And this is his moment to do so!!

Website talk truly comes from me having to make my own portfolio 3 separate times. I hated it. No one ever make me update my shit again.

I AM chekov's gun, but also it's just plot. i think we're just talking about plot progression LMAO

FELLAS IS IT CRAZY TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM BEFORE YOU'VE EVEN BEEN DATING FELLAS? FELLAS ANSWER ME. FELLAS.

the "i'm going to do a full analysis... i don't know what to say" made me laugh so fucking hard. continuing on. NEIL 'COCKBLOCK' FAK EVERYONE, thank you neil for once again saving me from having to write intimacy, you're my hero

man if i need to end at 20 chapters like i'm goaling to, THESE CHAPTERS NEED TO BE LONGGG I HAVE TO GIVE SO MUCH. so. this pattern of ridiculous word counts continues.

the two cats!! feline gang. get your PAWS off MY CHIP!!!

Can I just. so briefly touch on. I know my timeline is off in CK, because I think it's May/March 2023 in S3? Can't remember. It was dated in episode 2. But like. I am so mad about this. Because that means they skipped/didn't acknowledge:

November 15th, Mikey's birthday, first one without him. (Which, fun fact, and incidental, timeline wise in CK, this would probably be the day Carmen/Chip met since it's mid-late December for them?)

The First Christmas Without Mikey.

AND February 22nd, his Death Anniversary. are you fucking KIDDING ME? WE JUST SKIPPED ALL OF THIS IN THE RENO SKIPS? ARE YOU FUCKING JOSHING ME? THESE ARE SUCH INTEGRAL MOMENTS. NOW I HAVE TO MAKE EM UP MYSELF?!?!?! HELP ME OUT STORER PLEASE.

anyways. carmen thing's he's bad or wtv. too bad he's a weird rat.

i think carmen honestly loves dress up. like he owned so many jean jackets and jeans and also lived in denmark and New York. Like. he'd love to style Chip, truly. also wants her to be on his team and have an easily removable apron but that's neither here nor there.

I love stupid and meaningless that is deep with meaning!!! that's my memo baby that's my number!!

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFEEEEEE WATCH THE TAPES BACK HE KIND OF DID.

I would say more, but I HAVE to go put together chapter 15 and put it out for you. this is all to say thank you so much for your thoughts i remember reading them in the morning and gigglin and being late for work. good times. i always love to read your brain!!

[imraespace]

HELPME PPL THINK IM 18+ ONLINE AND. IRL. MY COUSIN FREAKING SAID “are you 18???” LIKE DAMN BRO I GET IT I DINT LOOK MY AGE BUT IM 18 IN DAMN 2-3 YEARS 👿👿👿 TOO EARLY FOR ME TO BE REACHING ADULTHOOD HELP

ive been faking my age to ppl online like on servers n stuff bc i really hate talking about ages like once they figure out im a minor theyre like erm haha let me make u a victim and start saying the weirdest stuff ever like girl if i was 18 or 15 how does that change ANYTHING HELP but when i acc get to know ppl i say my actual age i dont want to be a victim guys dot dot dot stares at that one tumblr person that entered my ask box and was loke ahhaha want some nudes??? Insert link. LIKE NO PLEQSE I AM A MINOR

also octopus hater finally replied but theyre a mfing opp bc they didnt even add my nickname hashtag 💔💔 mayeb bc its an ask game but like come on man you gave me a mutual nickname and u wont even add my hashtag EFF YOU 💔💔 joke sorry octopus hater i love u even if youd otn love me ure my second ever moot on this app and one of my only moots other than jjk person and cheese bot i love cheese bot i will be messaging cheese bot but i think they genuinely hsut forgot

my right eveball has been twitching and i think its bc of all the stress i went through this week with my science test history test civics test civics cpt and then a whole bunch of other stuff like why the freak did my cooking teacher tell me to go to the third floor and jump if i make the pierogis look bad ??? IS HE EVEN ALLOWED TO JOKE LIKE THAY WHAT IF I WAS SUICIDAL AND THAT WAS MY LAST REASON HELLO????

for soem reason candles have veen calling me throughout this mall trip am i transitioning into a middle aged woman shoppign for christmas candles but now i cant tell the difference between cinnamon truffle and fresh cotton with vanilla and then mushroom soy bean like hello who names these and most importantly WHO MFING INVENTED TREE FOREST SCENT THAY SMELLS LIKE ITS ROTTING. HELLO. I USUALLY LOKE THE SMELL OF FOREST WHEN I GO AND SEE MY WOLF PACK ALPHAS (the neighborhood hyenas that i hear howling at the back) WTF WAS THAT SCENT. mayeb my cosuin is right about me beign 18 atp…….

anwyays i forgot about daily question mYBAD GANF

DAILY QUESTION IS UMMM whatw ould be the best way to torture i mean send love to octopus hater 💜💜💜 ok seriosuly UM who in bllk would have a terrible spending addiction while being freaking poor

- 🐙

FINALLY IM GONNA ANSWER THIS

SAME HELP

I've never faked my age I'm too scared that they would somehow find out I THINK THOSE ARE BOTS BX I GOT LIKE 4 OF THEM AT ONCE

ugh everytime I see octopus hater I roll my eyeballs....😒 HELP this is a very one-sided love.. #bethebiggerperson!!!

OHMAGSU SCHOOL IS SO STRESSFUL RN AND I REMINDED MYSELF THAT omg mara you have oral finals IN 6 MONTHS HAHAHHA 😐.. WDYM 6 MONTHS MY FINALS ARE IN 6 MONTHS?? AND MY EXAMS FOR THIS TERM IS IN 2 WEEKS WHAKDKMAMD

HELO WHAT?? what even happens in cooking class omg.. HELOME I CABT BRATHE

odd names for candles.. I like the smell of normal candles after you blow them out also the same with matches idk why I sometimes light them ans blow it out just to sniff em..

HELOME I FANT CEATHE THEYRE GIV8NG YOU THE REAL FEEL OF HUNTING WITH THE PQCK!!

ha! granny!!

HELP E send a scary picture in their inbox..

ERM shidou...

[selfundiagnosed]

Insane that my mom ran the most popular patrick stump archival blog on tumblr + was a full time lawyer + was raising two mentally ill kids + doing culinary arts school + having a cookie business. I think its her autism i wont lie. But now its all catching up to her and she has no energy which would be the ehlers danlos fault this time.. tried to convince her to steal her old url back but on cohost so she made an account but couldnt immediately make side blogs but boy oh boy. she would be giving the fall out boy fandom what they want and more. Shes like i cant do it again i have no idea how i did it before im like ma! its called having boundaries. Shes like i cant do that when i have a special interest its called autism. Im like right but queue posts for once a day and find 30 pictures from a photo set and boom one months worth of posting fall out boy and you can conserve your energy. But she doesnt know how to do her special interests in moderation. Im honestly just glad she went and accepted a bunch of access to her mega archive folder thingy. But shes so mad she doesnt have access to like her actual archive bc the website she used go archive everything changed their subscription plans and she has so many photos it would be like a zillion dollars she doesnt have 😭 like bogus i remember photo storing websites were so free. Take me back to 2010 for real :T Anyway she used to get so mortified when i told my friends as a teen about her blog i actually told her coworker once and her coworker somehow RETAINED the url and went home and looked at her blog and she was so upset at me 😭😭 but now like she kinda doesnt give a fuck anymore bc fall out boy was her special interest for an entire decade and she’s over it. Obviously still a big big fan but not in bandom anymore. Her new special interest is a band i introduced her to when i was 13 and its kinda cringe so i dont talk about it but she also ran an archival blog for THIS band and i told my friend at a sleepover who liked this band about her blog and they fucking FOLLOWED HER and shit bricks and my mom was MORTIFIED. But anyway yeah she doesnt gaf now if i tell people she was this blog and i even posted a tiktok about it once and people started doing detective work that would make her autistic self so proud…. Bc thats what she was good at! sleuthing stalking detective work on the band. Pete wentz privately answered several of her asks on tumblr i’ll see if she can send me the asks and their responses. But yeah she doesnt care anymore. her original url was scrubbed by tumblr and shes very angry about it bc it was an original bandom url for patrick stump so shes like wtf ever i dont wanna touch this im so mad. Which SAAAAME. ive done that so many times. She started permitting access to people who requested it for one of her photo archive website thingies she left in her last post. But yeaaaahhh… she was patrick stump for halloween in like 2008 and she won the costume contest bc she had rhe coolest sideburns and looked so much like him. My first ever concert was a fall out boy concert in spring 2007 i was 6 turning 7 within the next few months lemme just say the music video for carpel tunnel of love played on the screen as they played the song and my brother and i was so traumatized. But then immediately they played this aint a scene after that and we were like HELL YEAAAAAAAAA. And my brother (5 at the time) and i knew every single song and sang along and my mom went look at everyone else no one else knows these songs. You guys are so cool. And we looked around and yeah no one was singing the songs and were sooo excited! Oh and theres that one time she recorded us singing keep it simple by cobra starship and THEY PUT IT ON THEIR MYSPACE PAGE AT THE TOP WE FLIPPED SHIT. i wish THAT video was still up. Shes also met fall out boy so many times and walked away from patrick stump while he was talking to her bc she didnt want to take up his time at a meet and greet. Omg. so many memories. I was literally raised in online bandom thats so insane. Maybe thats why im a homosexual

[girlhorse]

in college when i had my first major ocd breakdown and had to go on meds i thought i had really bad GAD lol. that was my only diagnosis. but um i now recognize that it was absolutely full blown ocd lol

tw below for some OCD stuff i feel like sharing for some reason. may delete later bc i am going to get very ~vulnerable~

i was really scared to explain my thoughts to anyone bc 1) i knew logically they were bizarre and that embarrassed me and 2) i was scared talking about my intrusive thoughts would make them come true

basically i was obsessed with thoughts that my now ex was going to be in harms way or die, especially when it had been like. idk. more than 20 minutes from texting me

my intrusive thoughts were so strange..i would come up with really whacky ways that they could be fatally injured. like slipping in the shower or choking to death.

I knew these were unreasonable and weird and I did my absolute best to not pester my ex or make it weird. I didnt want to pressure her to do anything because of my out of control anxiety but it was getting super out of hand

I was getting so sick that I was having panic attacks if i hadnt heard from them in a couple hours, i threw up a few meals because of it

eventually i just stopped sleeping. Every time I started to fall asleep, my body jolted me awake. I had very little appetite and was holding back gags while eating.

The things I didn't really consider to be compulsions are pretty obvious to me now. on top of like intense magical thinking (believing my unusual thoughts were either going to cause something bad or that I had some sort of clairvoyance) i had begun publicly checking my pulse any time i was anxious. I thought i was being discreet but honestly my friends noticed it and asked me wtf i was doing ☠️ i was putting my two fingers on my jugular vein to see if i was panicking or anxious.

i also had a problem with compulsively reading the news in their area if i thought they had been hurt. in the attempt to get ahead of it. I was checking traffic data and friends blogs. It was honest to God a bit stalkerish and i knew that but i was terrified

I did tell them about it eventually and they were very gracious about it.

but this went on for a long time, probably months. Somehow i still coped with college classes and didn't fail anything but i was in a pass/fail school so no pressure to do substantially well

eventually i finally got my as to the doctor bc the therapy i was doing did Not work (it ws self guided CBT. I do not think the campus therapsit was equipped to handle the Brains issue i had)

i got put on a low dose of prozac, but when that didnt work (literally threw up a pill due to anxiety lmao) my doc increased the dose significantly and that helped quite a bit.

Anyway i stopped having so bad of OCD that i couldnt function, but of course i still have my moments

it took me like a couple weeks to figure out my fear was largely surrounding uncertainty and the inability to control things.

i think to be honest it is still present. and it seems to be triggered by major life events. Enzo is my new Subject but I'm better able to cope. It was hard when he was little leaving home, i was always scared I'd come back to a d*** puppy bc of something I did wrong. But! hes fine, we're fine. Him getting sick has been hard to deal with Because of this but im dealing. Im doing my best to just accept my obsrssions instead of fighting them or letting them spiral out of control

IDK what the point od this post is i just feel like i have to get it off my chest and i dont have a therapy appointment this week ❤️❤️❤️ my public tumblr is my diary:)

[lexisism]

i was bein' a little dramatic I don't think u CAN laugh at this but I wanna share it like a storytime

i was heavy daydreaming right... like. heavy daydreaming everything down to the detail sp this is LOOONGGG

...soso we were texting !! scheduled a meetup :D

i told u meet me at a cafe like the next day u were like cool ok

so I was anxious all night because I knew I'd probably forget lol...but I didn't!!! I was at the cafe before u actually gotta arrive an hour earlier so I'm not late <33 and u walked in looking clueless

i watched u sit down so I posted on Tumblr like "help where is Alexis its been ten minutes" and u respond "IM HERE?? WHERE ARE YOU" so I describe what I look like and ur like ohhh ok and come to my table

ofc I'm a little shy (takes place in the future ig btw) but we're talking!! ur talking to me about one of your silly little interests or just about whatever really and I'm listening like CRAZY until someone comes to take our order

and I'm like "oh okay wait shes pretty" so I'm bein' all like "hiiiiii....uh yeah can I get the uhhh this? yeah haha yeah.." eye contact n everything

then she leaves and ur like "girl wtf was that 😐" and I'm like what. ur crazy and you're kinda giving me a dirty look the whole time like hello??? daydream u is kinda mean 2 me 💔

so you get back to talking but she comes back with our food

and she calls me!!!!! !!!!!1! PRETTY !!!!! and I'm like oh.....erm....ur pretty too haha

and then we're talking she tells me about the special

and ur on your phone posting about me 🙁 then she has to leave to go tend to something else and I'm kinda watching her go and ur like OLIVER. I'm like HWAT!!!!

but then ur also like makin' fun of me "did u invite me into ur country just so I can act as your third wheel???" "NO I DIDNT" "uh huh. eat your food 😐" like ok mean mean mean

but we get back to eating and talking so all's well!!!! BUT THEN LADY COMES BACK AND ur like omfg

she asks me us about the service and im like oh haha it was great !!! I'm DEFINITELY gonna try to come here every week!!!!! and shes like "really??" yeah keyword is try... I might forget "oh? well here, I'll just text you so you wont forget.. write your number down?"

and I look at you and I'm like ALEXIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you're covering ur face and looking down I cant tell if ure laughing at/with me or you're praying on my downfall :/

I GIVE HER MY NUMBER AND SHE FINALLY LEAVES!!!!!! so I grab my shit and put money on the table like cmon Alexis lets get out of here

ur like "thank God" there was a moment you try to pay but I usher u out and hold the door open for you anyway 🙄

then I'm like erm. like. wanna. omg u seem tired "I am" ok why don't we go to my house we can literally js walk there "ok"

so I take u to my home and ur like wahattt woah so cozy

so I tell u make urself at home and I offer u to sleep in my bed ur like "???? no?? its your bed??" I'm like girl I'm offering go lay down idc

i make u sleep in my bed anyway u deserve to be comfy

i wish u a good nap and leave but as soon as I do u start posting about me 🙁 u called me a girlfailure and a loser

i left details out so I wouldn't feel like a loser but here's like three quarters of my bullshit thank u for letting me waste ur time ily

nah why is dream me lowkey homophobic 😔🔥 i would be laughing i cant i lowkey did laugh I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO CUTE 😭😭 I PROMISE I WOULD BE ALL OVER YOU LMAOOO GO GET THE GIRL

Pls i would love to meet you, you think about me?? like omg 😭🙏

[just-some-random-blogger]

I'm genuinely curious. Why did you start writing fanfic? And I know you've probably been asked this before but I'm new on here and only found you a couple weeks ago. I just want to know, like did it just happen, or did you really think about it before starting.

hello! i actually dont think i've been asked this before but even if i was its no bigge lol aSFhalksflkasfha calm thyself tis ok to ask again [kisses your cheek]

WELL. im pretty sure for me it started on tumblr. i saw imagines for 1d and i read them and was like WAIT THATS SO CUTE and i couldn't get enough and i stayed on the imagines/fake scenarios route for a long time. then i was like inspired to make some for my own. i wrote some for my friends and id have them read it on my notebook T_T cos we didnt have internet and i couldt post unless i went to an internet cafe T_T HAHAAH and my friends seemed to enjoy it but i remember no one on the net really interacted with my 1d shit ever HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

then i moved to wattpad cos my friend was writing full on fics then, so i was like i could do that too! but her stories got more traction and mine didnt T_T and then i tried posting here T_T but that was also a bust LMBAO T_T then i moved to ao3 and thats were i really flourished. i then i went back and forth posting here and there until we get to here and now HAHAAH

telling you this now has honestly made me realize wtf when did i go from being a writer that got 0 views to a writer that was so sure of that her work was AMAZING to writer who gets inbox messages like this. WILD truly humbled by this. you guys are amazing. and honestly i was just a kid when i started writing. i didnt think about it 'oh should i post this' 'oh should i write this'... ya know... i was just like THIS IS A CUTE PROMPT AND A LOT OF MY FRIENDS THINK SO TOO NOW IM GOING TO POST IT which is honestly good for her, good for tween me AHHAAH

i would like to thank one direction this version^ particularly and directioners everywhere for making me the delusional writer that i am today HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AMEN

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi, i dont use tumblr ask stuff often so i dont really know how im supposed to start this but i was hoping you could help me figure myself out a little since i cannot talk to any sort of therapist / psychologist about this lol...

i think im going to send this to a good couple system help type blogs to try and figure this out cause i need Help

i am a minor with cptsd and audhd. i am physically and mentally disabled [dyscalculia]. i have been suicidal for as long as i can remember [and i can remember very far back]. i had a lot of periods in my childhood where i go Blank for a while [memory wise. i would "wake up" somewhere else the middle of an action and have no idea what was going on or why i was there] or felt out of control of my body, i dont know if this has lessened or if i have just grown used to the feeling if that makes sense

ive been questioning whether or not im a system for a Long while now but i never get far with it because i literally cannot figure myself out.

when i was a child [this is abt when i was around 8] i was heavily in denial about the fact that i wanted to die. i knew my parents [abusive] would react Badly and also i was religious and raised to believe i would burn in hell for it so i just Refused to admit that i hated living. i didnt actually know what the word "suicidal" meant. one day i saw it on the news with my parents [it was some headline like "suicide rates rising" or sum idfk sorry] and my mother said "who would be crazy enough to try and kill themselves" and i answered back "haha yeah..." and i heard a voice behind me [like Right in my ear behind me] say "you would" [as in you would be crazy enough] and i was fucking terrified cause as previously mentioned i was raised religious and thought this was a demon trying to tempt me into sin because holy Shit a disembodied voice is speaking to me telling me about my deepeet darkest secrets. i looked behind me and asked my mother if she said anything and she said no and gave me a weird look. i dont know if this makes sense but when i heard its voice i saw like a Flash of information [???] like. i saw its eyes [red, part of the reason i was convinced it was a demon] and got the fact that its fem looking and got the info that it Knows me and it Knows more [sorry if this doesnt make sense], some personality facts[?], and that its older than me?? i never mentioned anything to anyone because i was convinced they would hurt me if i did. i felt its presence in the back of my mind [it didnt speak often but even when silent i could feel it there like rhe way you know when someones staring at you]. i kept refusing it and saying i did not want it and eventually i felt it fade [not the right word but idk wtf to say. it went In or it just disapeared or something]. i felt kind of at a loss when it happened cause i didnt know what to do. i considered the idea that it was trying to help me but even if it was i had no clue what it was. i asked another did/osdd blog abt this before and they said for me to look into bpd or aspd but i cant find the blog anymore

since then i have been never heard the voice behind me or any other voice. i dont know if it was an alter who went dormant or just some weird dream or hallucination or what.

anyways i was hoping you could shed some light on this in literally anyway you could.

if you think it was an alter could you Please tell me anyway i could try and contact it or anything at all

if not Do you have Any idea what it was...

thank you for reading all this either way

Hello! So this is something we can’t figure out for you - you’ll have to learn more about yourself in your own way. We know you said you don’t have access to a therapist or psychologist, but it sounds like you could really use one! Even if you’re not a system, dealing with something serious like CPTSD can be overwhelming, daunting, and scary on your own, especially when coupled with other disorders or neurodivergencies.

If you’re in school, do you have access to a school counselor, therapist, social worker, or trusted teacher? Talking to an adult you trust about this may be incredibly beneficial for you. It’s so hard to learn what mental illnesses may affect you and heal from complex trauma without any outside help! Be careful though - if it’s not safe at home you wouldn’t want to share this information with an adult who will tell your parents without your consent.

While we can’t and don’t want to diagnose you, we will say that this sounds like it could be a system experience. Before we knew we were a system, our host would occasionally experience what he thought were auditory and visual hallucinations as the rest of us tried to make contact with him. This happened regularly for most of our life, and it wasn’t until we were 24 years old that one of our protectors was finally able to break through and get our host to realize we’re a system.

We also have dealt with heavy amounts of suicidal thinking for what feels like our whole life. Our first suicide attempt was at 12 years old, and we have attempted a handful of times since then. Grappling with memory loss, traumatic flashbacks, depersonalization/derealization, severe depression and anxiety, and many of the other issues that come from complex trauma have generally made life not worth living for us. We are getting help, but we still seriously struggle to make it through each day. For us, this has come with the territory of having a complex dissociative disorder. It sounds like you may be going through something similar.

Please know that you’re not alone in your struggles and there is still hope for you! We’ve made a post on establishing contact with alters to include in this answer, and you can check it out here. Remember that it’s okay to question plurality, to wonder if your a system and to attempt to connect with alters. Even if it turns out you’re not a system, you likely will learn something about yourself in the process.

We hope this response is somewhat useful for you. Thank you so much for reaching out. We’re here for you and we wish the very best for your future, whatever that may hold! Good luck with everything, and take care!

🌸 Margo, 🖋 Cecil, and 🐢 Kip

[ilovedilfs228007]

I am in mood for telling random people about my trauma so

Story about choreography classes.

I was in the first grade and my parents asked me "do you want to visit dancing classes". i thought we will dance there and i didn't really want to but i didnt mind. Shut up, i was 6. Teacher often screamed at us but hey, everybody screams. And of course we weren't dancing. We were stretching(?) Yk... Trying to split

Im not good at it. In fact, im extremely bad at it.

So, it was our teacher's birthday, and all my groupmates decided to make her a present: "we will all split (? Im not sure if it's the right word)". The problem was that I couldn't split. All of them could. And i couldn't. I said that i couldn't split and they started to say some shit like "we also can't". we were 6-7 yo. They were trying to calm me down. But i was still nervous. So, the class started and we lined up and everyone started to split before her one by one. I was the last but one in the line because I was scared. And she was happy until it was my turn. Of fucking course i didn't split. And I don't really remember how it happened but she yelled "HURT"(well, it's the closest word in English). I thought she was angry that it was painful for me to split. She screamed at me and then she kicked all the class out of the gym. Do i have to say those people were angry at me? They shouted at me in the changing room because they thought I(!) hit her! WTF GUYS??

After this i visited this class only once again just because my father asked me to. Fun fact: i hate ALL dancing classes after it and even seeing people doing choreography still kinda triggers. And hey, not much has changed from that time so this is my maximum. That time it also was my maximum.

And yes, i will use tumblr just like i used twitter: i will just whine here and talk about my obsessions because I don't have any friends i can talk with. The first one is stupid and the other one is not that kind of friend. Maybe. I think so.

[ccervidae]

smooch!

!!!!

Kisses!

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie

↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc

u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy

u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news

u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him

u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks

one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in

ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated

ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together

ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together

u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him

“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 

ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing

ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u

“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”

baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u

“i’m five and a half months.” 

fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop

u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where

ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out

“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”

u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place

he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound

u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks

he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek

u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side

“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”

ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,

ur both nervous and cautious around each other

at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together

hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning

he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺

“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”

ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk

around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer

he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣

he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought

hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together

also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami

(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)

something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^

he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy

it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home

ofc u were crying

a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(

u explain n hiccup while doing so

hes so s o f t at this moment

he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—

he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses

“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”

enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n

spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby

u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like

“ow,, fuck that hurt.”

“hey don’t swear around the baby!”

u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often

kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses

hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??

well kkami was on it 

baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin

u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P

newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg

“it feels gross.”

ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out

he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind

last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes

though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts

hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary

hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction

“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”

ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark

u do not want to be t o u c h e d

touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u

hyunjin just sits there

hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall

hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(

hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺

yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again

he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong

“i— it feels like i have to push.”

he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors

they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position

hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO

yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look

like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy

here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin

“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”

his lil puppy baby boy 🥺

he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head

it was kinda creepy how similar they looked

anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different

u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺

“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”

he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly

“yea, we do.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[theyarebothgunshot]

ROSE I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT THE HELL ITS HAPPENING????? AT THIS POINT I JUST THINK THEY JUST FORGOT TO COME OUT????? THEY ARE ACTING LIKE THAT AND BEING “WAIT WHY ARE PEOPLE FREAKING OUT SO MUCH”???? OH MY LITERAL GOD HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAP

y'all weren't kidding when you said you could feel something big was coming huh. sigh. hi! welcome to: the gang freaks out about misha's text in my inbox

instantly my first thought upon seeing misha’s text: “he sounds like that in the morning.”

they woke up together on the regular <3

GUNSHOTS WAKE UP DID YOU SEE MISHA’S TEXT??? he misses jensen so much :(((

yes :(( and me too :((

*adjusts tinhat* d-do you think misha originally took that photo to send to jensen? like a “hurry up and come in here, the pink blankey and i miss you.” ...

oh my god anon its too early for this i dont need to get emotional!!! on god i believe he texts him pics like this every day

have you seen misha's text yet??

no

girl wake up new cockles content

july is gonna be our month i can feel it!!!!!!!!

hi did anybody else get the fact that he never said that pic was while filming supernatural. like it was a little weird to not add 'in vancouver while filming [episode title]' My theory is that its a little joke because that pic is ACTUALLY in jensens apartment NOW when hes filming the boys from like a week ago. It seems like something he would do amen

oh my god i cant do 'cockles are living together rn' truthing today but you are very brave <3

ROSE ROSE ROSE ARE YOU AWAKE????? MISHA’S JENSEN TEXT!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I’M SCREAMING????? HELP!!! what 👏🏽 was 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 reason 👏🏽 misha ??? he really said i miss my march 1st baby OUTLOUD without really saying it outright i- MISHA WHATS UR @ SERIOUSLY!! - 🦋 anon

misha said happy pride to my husband and our perceivers and i thank him for that <3

Rose I hope you have a very nice sleep and are not suffering throughout this major cockles event in the middle of the night. ANYWAYS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY I CAN'T BREATHE 'SPARE ROOM' 'HIS BLANKY' SIR - anon anon

*looks into the camera* so anyways i woke up pretty much around the time you messaged me this and i am dead tired now

hehehe once again you've made the mistake of going to bed. I think imma stay up to see your reaction to the sleepover in a few hours ;) -🐢

hope i didnt dissapoint dsjhfsjfhsjhf

I’m just here to apologize that once again you were asleep when the fandom decided to start on fire <3

thank you darling i feel like i deserve some financiel compensation tbh

To all of the other anons who will undoubtedly be in gunshot's traditional freak out post with me (looking forward to all of y'alls reactions 😂), I really hope you've enjoyed this fantastic ending to pride month. Misha really chose to share that info wth us!! I haven't slept much this week because each night gets crazier. We're all thriving in this dumpster right now - 🐢

god bless we ARE all thriving!!!!

i cant deal with the Love You script dropping on the same day that misha posts both a t&s pride post and That Text. so misha is invested enough to know that the script dropped today in all likelihood. and. i. help. help. help.

🍭

yeah yeah yeah exactly nonnie exactly

my tumblr has been crazy, i haven't been able to send you asks until now 🥺 my posts are not showing in the tags...anyway tumblr staff already fix the problem with the asks so at least I can be loud in here.

crazy everything is just crazy! Misha's post, Misha's message, Goodbye Stranger script...all I'm missing is for Jensen to pull a heller!Jensen on main and i'm dead

Hope you have a beautiful day!!

-🐣

yeah tumblr fucked up and turned on my asks yesterday wtf, i hope your problem gets fixed soon!

and i hope you have the best day too!!!

we get to see misha today too i can't do this

oh god me neither

THEY WERE DOING LAUNDRY TOGETHER AFTER ALL

JDFHJSHFHSJ YEAH FUCKING HELLLL

this is just me speculating but is it a coincidence Misha is thinking about “lasts” especially the last night sleeping at Jensen’s, on the last day of pride????? *insert incredibles coincidence I think not gif*

its never a coincidence, everything this chaos machine does is on purpose

You woke up much earlier than expected! I legit thought that I had lost track of time scrolling through the madness that is the cockles tag right now. Sorry that you're going to be dragging for the rest of your day. Misha ensures that only he gets sleep when he pulls these stunts -🐢

lmao it was already light outside and i kept thinking about the misha text so i thought fuck it lets forget sleep, i need to cockles truth on main before i have to go to work <3

I’m sorry. I died. 🦚

me too!

*head in hands*, affectionate - tea anon

happy second month of pride everyone

cheers to that!!

had a thought: that one time the fan asked misha about them sharing clothes in 2018 and he joked, “it’s easy for our clothes to get mixed up, that’s all. whose is whose, you know, when you’re putting it on.” and “now everyone’s like ‘hmm, how’d the laundry get mixed up, guys?’” i hate him. i hate that it’s not implausible now. i hate.

how many times do i have to tell y'all that misha uses jokes to mask the truth <3 he was telling us the truth!

[mcd-ms-rants]

*opens tumblr*

*looks at activity*

8 notes??!!

hhhhh I don’t deserve u all thanks soo much <3

well u asked for it

be warned it’s super lengthy again

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE IN MCD SEASON 2:

• Right of the bat I’m just gonna say this season is a hot mess

• what is even going on here

• Why is Phoenix Drop so...untouched? Like yes it’s grown old with age but also everything looks ok not like burnt to the ground or anything

• I’m SURE Zane would have told someone in O’Khasis where he was going especially the Jury and you’re telling me that none of them care?? Not even Janus? His fave juror?

• If I were Janus I’d burn it down just sayin

• Why is Irene’s relic so glorified? I SHOULVE INCLUDED THIS IN THE LAST POST BUT WHY TF DOES ZANE NOT USE ESMUNDS RELIC LIKE WHYYY

• I don’t like how Irene has healing and everyone goes wow but we NEVER GET TO SEE ESMUNDS RELIC (I haven’t rewatched MCD in a while if he does use it lmk and ignore the above :) thx) I’m sure it’s pretty powerful considering in s3 Shad says “a spell by Esmund?” when he sees the protective barrier thing around the portal so it’s powerful and the Irene Dimension fight would have gone different with it

• Why does Aphmau act like a shit friend by venting to Laurance and then ditch him when he needs her most? Like you can’t just keep dumping your problems on him he’s got his own to deal with be supportive

• I LOVE VYLAD that’s it that’s all I have to say

• tho I wish we could have seen more of him and the relationship he shared with his brothers cuz angst time

• HOW is Aphmau able to disguise herself as Zane and WHY do people not question it? She has a different build and body structure, different colored eyes, two eyes not one, tan skin and some chest like cmon that disguise is fooling NO ONE also why is it normal for ‘Zane‘ to show up fifteen years after he was last seen? Why does this make no sense

• This may seem a bit much and honestly you’re welcome to your own opinions on it but I feel as though Zane should have had more of a role in s2. Hear me out. The way his character is written is that his untouchable status as a high priest is a big part of his character. It’s why he’s able to get away with so much shit. Removing that like in s3 ruined him (for me) and not using him at all in s2 seems like wasting a perfectly fine (albeit unoriginal) antagonist. Yes it would mean pretty much everything would change but yknow what maybe it needs to

• AARON. That’s it he’s the problem. In my opinion Aarmau should never have happened. Aph is a lord and doesn’t have time for a romantic relationship. Aaron is a broken shell of a man who definitely doesn’t have the time for a romantic relationship. They speak like 5 times properly and even then it’s nothing overly romantic (as far as I know?). I don’t think naming a child counts as romantic I always saw it as familial?? Aarmau ended being a one night stand that caused Aph so much grief and all through I was just thinking that it should never have happened anyway. They should’ve had a strong platonic bond instead. QUEERPLATONIC RELATIONSHIP. Imagine. it would’ve been so much better. It would’ve brought awareness to a community that is not always shown in the spotlight but is as deserving of it. Why does Aaron stick around after Zane is in the Irene Dimension anyway? Didn’t he say that he was there solely for revenge? Isn’t his part done? Why is he still trailing after Aphmau

• THAT DEATH SCENE THO. Zane and Aaron both die from some unknown magical thing. what is it? I have no clue all I remember is that Aph found it somewhere. someone remind me? I don’t understand why Zane was killed off in the very way they were trying to avoid in s1 I get it it’s been fifteen years real time but...it seemed so underwhelming for me. Anyone else?

• Ive seen a lot of people mention this one before but Laurence should’ve been Shad’s descendant not Aaron it didn’t make sense to me

• WHAT IS THE POLITICAL SYSTEM OF O’KHASIS. It’s such a crucial part of MCD yet we never hear of it at all. Since Aph is a lord it matters a lot. I can elaborate more on this if anyone wants me to!!

• WTF is the lore here. In ep 100 Hyria says that Irene had no children and in ms s6 flashbacks I see a child? Whose is it? What is going on??

too tired to add more rn but if you reached here thanks once again I never expected any of this <3

[barbara-gordons-glasses]

Alright, since I can’t sleep and I’m bored, I’m going to list a few things that I hate about Tony Stark/RDJ, and his “fans”. If youre a Tony/RDJ fan pls ignore this.

Tony Stark made weapons for the military and only stopped because he was nearly killed and no

It wasn’t because he “felt bad” for those that were actually being harmed by the weapons. It was for his personal benefit

He constantly flirts with and messes with women while dating pepper

In the first IM movie, he made a transphobic joke and in an interview for his Sherlock movie, made a joke about cross-dressing

In AOU he made a rape joke, saying that if he ends up ruling Asgard, he’d reinstall pre minocta (or however you spell it)

He made Ultron, and before you start with the whole “B-b-but Wanda mind raped him!”

Firstly, wtf is mind rape? Really? For anyone who says mind rape y’all need therapy—maybe more so than Wanda

Anyways, he made Ultron and in civil war, had the A U D A C I T Y to say “we need to be put in place” as if it was the avenger’s fault that he created Ultron.

And him being the Rich white dude he was, he knew the accords wouldn’t effect him. He could still break the law without any consequences.

So he a brought a 15 year old child into battle with professionals, lied about his age, and didn’t even tell him the full reason of why he was fighting

Also? He thinks? Him and Steve? Were friends? Last I checked, they couldn’t stand each other, and had a hard time working together

So when he says “I wAs YoUr FrIeNd ToO” uh no. He’s known Bucky for 100 actual years. You guys have known each other for like 2, with 6 month breaks from working together

Homecoming, he completely neglects Peter and passes him off to happy, who ignores him as well

And then takes away the suit because Peter was trying to do his job.

You could give the excuse—“he sent government agents after the vulture!”

Yes. And toomes overpowered them by a lot so that didn’t do anything

Tony says he doesn’t want to end up like his father, but it just as emotionally distant as him

I cant even begin with that one scene in IW when he HAD THE CHANCE TO CALL STEVE AND ASK FOR HELP TO DEFEAT THANOS, BUT DIDNT. OUT OF PURE STUPIDITY AND HIS MASSIVE EGO

AND THEN WHEN HE AND HIS TEAM LOSES, HE’S??? SURPRISED???

LIKE, YEAH DUDE BECAUSE YOU HAVE PETER QUILL ON YOUR TEAM OBSESSING OVER HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND smh

The endgame scene where he basically yells at Steve for “not being there” knowing full well that if Steve were to come out of hiding, he would’ve been arrested

Has a child five years later and then suddenly on tumblr, he’s “dad of the year” even tho he got like two scene with his kid...I mean...Stan Scott Lang

Him figuring out time travel makes no sense??

How’d he get pym particles of Hank kept his work secretive??

I’m telling you if Shuri hadn’t been dusted away, they wouldn’t have needed tony I stg

Fast forward and now he’s dead, and lemme tell you—it took EVERYTHING not to laugh at their faces.

Scott, Hank, Janet, Hope, Wanda, and Bucky, to be specific.

I mean

HE ALMOST KILLED BUCKY, KILLED WANDA’S ENTRE FAMILY, AND SCOTT JUST HATES HIM

They didn’t even wanna be there lmao

Ok, now that that’s done with, let’s move onto RDJ

I really never liked him as an actor because he has limited range when it comes to characters

By which I mean all of his characters are cocky, smart, “handsome”, and “funny”

They aren’t, but k

But now that he defended Crisp ratt for being a T*umpet supporter and a homophobe, I hate him even more now

And it’s not even because he’s standing up for ratt

It’s because he never showed this type of compassion when his female and cast mates of color were being attacked for their roles

Brie Larson got rape and death threats for being captain marvel, and only wanting more diversity/better pay for herself

Zendaya got hate because she was the first black MJ

Ratt got hate because he attended a homophobic church that supported conversion therapy

Guess which one RDJ defended?

Yup

And not only that but he’s just a really unfunny person. He’s basically Tony Stark and not in a good way

Though there isn’t a good way to be Tony Stark in the first place

NOW onto my favorite part

RDJ/Tony stocks fan club

Or “defense squad” as they call themselves, as if tonky doesn’t have enough defense already, with his suits and all

His fans ignore every flaw about his character and the actor himself

They constantly say how he’s a father figure to Peter, Shuri, nebula, Harley, when really...no

Peter has a father figure—Ben Parker

Shuri already had a father

Nebula didn’t have a good father, but in no means did they interact more than the beginning of endgame

He literally called Harley a p*say for MOURNING OVER HIS ABSENT FATHER

like haha ok Stark you can’t talk

Just because you have your own sob story doesn’t mean you can project that onto others to silence THEIR trauma

And that’s another thing—

His fans claim to say that he “portrays ptsd” more than any other avenger accurately

A C C U R A T E L Y???

Wanda and Pietro?

Steve?

Natasha?

Bucky?

Peter Parker?

Gamora?

Nebula?

Harley?

Literally anyone else but him???

What angers me the most, however, is that people will go as far as to say that Wanda is a nazi b*tch, but...

Not her brother

And I’m being dead serious—no post about “anti-maximoff” ever mentions pietro

Only wanda, as if she were an only child

Well now she is but that wasn’t the point

Their internal mysoginy hurts me both physically and mentally

I’m sorry I made it so long, but if you’d like proof of any of the points I’ve made, I’ll be happy to provide them (;

[ddejavvu]

mei i think tumblr ate my ask :( how was power of love?? i didnt have a chance to see it but i hope you had an amazing time!!! have you preordered their new album :o! i was debating on it since i just dropped money on txts but i got the five album set today (rip my wallet D:) the highlighters are really what sold me haha! how has your day been love?

- wonu nonnie :D <33 (i also realized i totally forgot to tell you my name, and its not on my blog lol, my name is amanda :))

no omg did it?? that's so weird wtf :')

it was amazing!! i went all alone bc my only other carat friend is away at college rn KSNGJNG bUT i had a great time anyways, it was so sweet and beautiful and well-made and i loVE THEM A LOT

i did!! I used literally the last of my money to order it bc the rest of my paychecks came in on venmo so they're in transit LMFAOO and right!! i didn't think i'd want highlighters bad enough to drop every penny I had but i did so <3

my day has been good! i got new glasses today and they're kinda funky but i'm getting used to them, hopefully i'll be fine by tomorrow :')

aaa that's such a cute name lovey omg :D <333

[badassllamaclan]

Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans (Real-time thoughts as I watched it yesterday)

Spoilers under the cut!!!

They’re gonna deny me Barbara seeing her human son again!?!?!?

Dafuq? Was that Otto????

Lol Incredibles?!?!?

STRICKLER FLYING IN THERE COULDA SOLVED HALF THEIR PROBLEMS

Men in Black needed

BRUH THAT WASN’T EVEN DETECTIVE SCOTT IN THE TRAILER

WHO IS BAILING THEM OUT OF JAIL

That fuckin your mom joke. These losers are so grounded when they get back to Arcadia

EXCUSE YOU, WHY DOES STRICKLER SOUND LIKE THAT???? But also, yay Strickler was there when Jim woke up.

FUCK ALRIGHT TROLLHUNTERS ROTT PRODUCERS AND WRITERS YALL ARE ON THIN FUCKING ICE, don’t give me that bullshit with Strickler’s voice and then HAVE STRICKLER ASK FOR JIMS BLESSING AND TO BE HIS BEST MAN AT THEIR WEDDING

Nomura…. Is her voice different I’m not 100% sure

Alright WTF ELI GOT HOT

ALSO WHY DID HIS GLASSES GET BIGGER

FUCKIN WHAT

“So we don’t technically have a school”

Why the fuck is Arcadia the center

WHERE ARE ALL THE BABIES THAT WALT AND BARBARA WERE RAISING?!?!?

Also Nari up close is serious leafmen vibes

I love that this is some of the most involved Barbara has ever been in anything

Wtf did they do to BARBARA’S NOSE?!?!?

Smooth morons

FUCKIN WHAT

IM SORRY FUCKING WHAT

THE WRITERS ARE ON CRACK THERES DEADASS MPREG

WAIT WHO IS GONNA TELL BARBARA THAT STEVE IS PREGNAT

ALSO WOULDNT MAKING JIM ARMOR BASICALLY MAKE HIM ON GHE SAME LEVEL AS TOBY?!?!?

Why didn’t that fuck test the amulet before they tried to stop the order???

Also why does Jim yelling sound so weird? Like his voice is deeper specifically when he yells.

Mad respect that the arctic base in Greenland wasn’t destroyed and that researcher won’t straight up freeze to death

Everyone is questioning troll dragons, WHEN STRICKLER EXISTS RIGHT THERE

At least Nomura is still Nomura

Fuck either Blinky or Arrrgh is gonna die or some shit… WAIT BLINKY IS TELLING THE STORY THAT MEANS HE LIVES… fuck

Also Jim you’re such a loser I love you, the world’s ending and you’re upset cause your mom is finally happy and her happiness is at risk

ALSO WHERE IS NOTENRIQUE

OH COOL, we addressed that Archie’s dad still exists and is ancient AF. LOVE GHE GUILT TRIPPING!!! Father son bonding over terrorizing Blinky, love it

ALSO EVERYONE WAS CAUGHT ON VIDEO IN THE BEGINNING HOW HAS THAT NOT BEEN ADDRESSED, they’re literally only acknowledging that the titans happened

Yay, Barbara and Strickler having active roles

ALSO HIS SWEATER

Hi I was not ready for Nomura

Cool they’re gonna kill Strickler in the exact way I said on tumblr a few years ago

THANK FUCK THEY WENT TO GO STEAL LITERAL FUCKING TIME FROM THE TROLL DRAGON

YES BARBARA VALIDATING HOW MUCH STRICKLER LOVED JIM, but random assedly bringing up Jim’s bio dad?????

YO YALL JUST GONNA LEAVE BARBARA FUCKING ALONE AT THE CASTLE

So they’re going to kill off as many fan favorites as possible because they have to fix everything with the time sphere

BUT ALSO I KNOW MOVIES AND SHIT AND THEY WOULDNT JUST MENTION BIO DAD FOR NO REASON (they did in fact)

YES SHANNON STILL HAS A GIRLFRIEND

Coach Lawrence is trying his best

Thus far the pacing of this is pretty good

Oh shit Nari and WHATS his face died, but I swore that wasn’t permanent when they killed WHATS his face the first time

Wait back up, I thought that Heartstone was dead, and now it’s glowing

Lol I love how they have military clearance

ALSO WHERE IS BARBARA

Aja is a wonderful and realistic queen

DAS A BIG HEARTSTONE

THIS IS THE GAYEST SHIT

ALSO WOULD LOVE IT IF THIS SHIT DIDNT WORK, but it did

I love how they brought Nomura back just to kill her

BRUH WHERE IS THE SPHERE SO YALL CAN FIX EVERYTHING

Lol I kinda knew Toby was gonna die when they kept bringing up him being moral support he felt underestimated and the underestimated ones always sacrifice themselves

Also I would be bawling my damn eyes out if it wasn’t for the fact they haven’t used the green time orb yet

Blinky comforting Arrrgh borderline looked like they were kissing

Arrrgh crying though almost got me

Lol I would love it if Jim time travels and when it catches up to the same point that the current timeline is at they’re just at Barbara and Strickler’s wedding.

WAIT HOW FAR BACK IS JIM GOING

ALSO WHY ISNT BARBARA THERE

ALSO CLAIRE AND JIM SAID THE ACTUAL WORDS I LOVE YOU

BUT HOW FAR BACK IS HE GOING WTF

IS THIS THE DAY HE FOUND THE FUCKING AMULET

WTF IS GOING ON

WAIT THESE FUCKS BETTER GIVE ME A MONTAGE OF JIM TRYING TO SLUGHTLY CHANGE THINGS

BRUH HOLD ON I HAD AN IDEA FOR STRICKLER BEING THE TROLLHUNTER BUT HIM NOT BEING ABLE TO WIN SO HE TRIES TO DESTROY THE AMULET AND ENDS UP MEETING WITH ALL THE OTHER TROLLHUNTERS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN AND THEY ALL SEE A FUTURE WHERE JIM WAS THE TROLLHUNTER AND THEREFORE THEY WON

BUT IF TOBY IS THE TROLLHUNTER

also real quick Jim trying to set Strickler up with his mom OMFG

FUCK I WILL CRY

YEP IM CRYING

THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ON JIM IS SO GOOD

ALSO UPSET NORMURA DIDNT HAVE A SCENE IN THE ALTERNATE TIMELINE

FUCK it’s such a good ending for the series I love it

OKAY IT WAS JONATHAN HYDE BUT WHY WAS HE EXTRA GROWLY

Fuck there’s no more… I just wanna see more, like how the writers and creators think the little differences between timelines will be

I’m literally sitting here staring at the credits screen.

I love how the last bit of credits is the production babies

The ending also explains why there was so much fan service