lexisism

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Played mouthwashing...liked it a lot....

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── AND THE POISON STAINS MY MOUTH

malleus draconia. mortality, humanity and grief.

Malleus will never know grief before you.

He thinks of grief as a concept made by humans, their time on this realm so fickle and small; a painting of his mother and father in the colours of Lilia's mourning garment, an absence of which he as a child struggled to understand. He grasps at the idea of it, cradles it in his tiny palms like a flickering firefly. The curious fae-child dreams of loss, but no sort of magic can conjure the ache of something he never had.

He cradles the firefly anyway, watches its light flicker and die out. When you call his name and he looks up to see you — youthful, vibrant, mortal — Malleus wonders if the same fate will befall upon you.

Malleus tries to borrow the grief from the part of him that will exist in decades time. Grasps at that dying light in a future he cannot imagine, a future without you. There is something morbid here, he understands— a fixation on the concept of grief, mourning, mortality. He will never understand it, he thinks. He tries anyway. But grief is a painting he cannot capture when you are still living and breathing beside him, your light candescent in the perpetual dullness that Malleus himself never realised his life was stuck in.

He cannot imagine it, this— this life without you. That one day he will look upon the stars and you are not somewhere in the same realm, looking up at the very same constellations. It is not a matter of refusing to acknowledge it, no— Malleus simply cannot fathom the very real possibility that one day he will be here and you will be gone.

Malleus wonders what Lilia sees when he looks at him with you, what makes his eyes soften and the mourning weigh less on his shoulder. As a growing child, Malleus had thought that Lilia's grief grew smaller as the centuries passed— he understands now that the scope of Lilia's life has only grown around it, no longer twin wounds in the gaping maw of his chest, but hands cradling the grief as Meleanor might have done to Malleus, had she lived long enough to see him hatch.

"They will die one day," Lilia told him once, hovering by Malleus's perch on the balcony as they watch you walk down the stone steps of Diasmonia. "You understand this, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Malleus had said, even when he did not. A life without you did not seem to be much of a life at all, only some far-away dream, one that Malleus finds himself not indifferent to, but certainly unaffected by— for now, at least.

"You will grieve them for the rest of your days."

"I know."

"Do you understand grief, my boy?"

Malleus is quiet. He looks to Lilia, this man that has raised him since he was but a hatchling, who had once loved his parents and grieved for the absence of them in his life that Malleus had never

"No," Malleus confesses.

"You will," Lilia says softly, his voice not unkind, but full of pity. He knows what it is to grieve, but he had lived centuries with Meleanor and Raverne— you will pass long before Malleus is a Fae fully-grown; your life is but a drop in the ocean of his. "By the Seven, my boy, you will."

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i found a new way to annoy u but ✨anonymously✨ BE PREPARED HOE!!!! HSHSHSHHSHSHS

oh dear what is it mirei

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"Useless ray of goddamn sunshine. You could have taught an old fool like me a lot."

Referenced Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan (1885)

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psst. guys did you hear. they made up a new game that everyone you know suddenly got really really into in the span of a day and you never heard anything at all about it prior

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shes talking about me btw

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real me too chris mclean 🤞

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this is on the michigan unemployment form

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little prince dorian au it is 🤞

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I hate jimmy

me too FUCK jimmy

[lexisism]

The Mukami brothers! Finally did a piece of them since I did all the Sakamakis.

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help me im trying to make a royal!au but i can't decide whether kazuha should be a soldier (cuz he's a samurai) or crown prince (kazuha.. in royal attire.... with his already elegant demeanor and ghdjfgkjg ><) PLEASE CHOOSE FOR ME!!!

both…. he’s a crown prince who fights in war and stuff…

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IT'S THE KAVEH MUTUAL!!! :D

ITS THE SUPERSTAR MUTUAL!!!

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IMISSEDYOUUUU .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

I MISSED YOU TOOOOO

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GUYS I HAVE LIKE A 65% CHANCE OF GOING TO EUROPE FOR MY GRAD