#tumblr did you seriously eat all of my tags

[starlightkun]

finders keepers ⇢ teaser 2

⇢ teaser word count: 948 | full fic: 37.8k total (22.7k & 15.1k) ⇢ genre: sci-fi/science fantasy au, soulmate au, alien!jungwoo, human!reader, slow burn, fluff and angst ⇢ warnings: blood/injury mentions (but like, alien blood, if that makes a difference?), a couple needle/injection mentions, if u get secondhand embarrassment this one might hurt in places, a couple crude jokes about alien stuff iykwim (reader’s friends r kind of the worst), this fic is just a rlly sweet soulmate au i swear idk why these tags look horrendous 😭 ⇢ extra info: this will be released in two parts bc of tumblr’s 1000-block limit that was put in place to hurt me personally :)) BUT both parts will be released on the same day ⇢ estimated release: saturday, november 30, 2024, 3:00 p.m. eastern time (sign up for my taglist here)

The screen of your phone lit up from where it sat on the dashboard of Jungwoo’s spaceship, and you immediately grabbed it. It was Donghyuck, and at this point, you would’ve taken your bestie ‘SPAM LIKELY’ to get you out of here.

“Hey, it’s Hyuck, you got it here?” You asked Jungwoo, already on your feet.

“Yes, I’ll be okay,” Jungwoo confirmed, eyes momentarily leaving the screen to meet yours.

You clambered out of the hatch with haste, taking off into the trees. Hastily sending Donghyuck a text that you’d call him back in a minute, you practically bolted back up the cliffside to get to the road before doing just that.

Hyuck picked up before it could even ring once, not wasting any time, “Hey, how’s our pet alien?”

“He has a name,” you retorted, still out of breath.

“He doesn’t seem to mind when I call him that.”

“He probably doesn’t understand how derogatory it could be. His language might not have a direct equivalent for the concept.”

“Yeah, whatever, how is he?”

“Fine. All of his wounds have healed.”

Your friend’s tone immediately shifted. “You sound weird. What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” You insisted.

“Y/N.”

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

“Sure.”

And so after explaining your situation to Donghyuck to the best of your ability, you waited with bated breath for his response.

“Oh my God, he’s going to lay his eggs in you,” he gasped.

“Hyuck! Gross!” You hissed, half-ready to hang up right then.

“I’ve seen enough alien movies to know where this is going.”

“Or watched too much weird porn.”

“You didn’t laugh at my joke, clearly you’re in crisis, sorry.” His apology sounded sincere.

You sighed, staring down into the trees below you that you knew contained a spaceship and spaceman that weren’t from here, that didn’t belong here. “I mean, he’s still fixing his ship to leave…”

“What if he plans on abducting you and taking you with him?”

“Stop it!” You scolded him again. “Jungwoo wouldn’t do that.”

“You seriously think he’ll just leave his mate behind?”

“You are way too comfortable saying that word.”

“This is not about my nighttime proclivities.”

“If I told him to, yeah, I think he would. He’s been super respectful, all things considered.”

“Okay… whatever…”

You were worried. Jungwoo had continued fixing his ship, but with each passing day, you swore he was looking worse again. He said his wounds had completely healed inside and out, but the pallor of his skin didn’t look right, he was moving slower again, and he didn’t eat as much at meals. You took a risk and took him there during the day today, not wanting to risk drawing out his stay on Earth any longer than necessary.

Just getting him down to the ship today was perilous, as he tripped going down the last of the hillside. A rock had cut his arm, thankfully not very deep, but the sight of the deep blue blood did nothing to calm your anxious mind. He let you take a second to use a first aid kit in the ship on him, but then was right back to business as usual, fixing his ship.

“How’s it coming along?” You asked, hovering over him worriedly as he sat on the floor, working on a panel under the control console.

“It’s almost done,” he informed you quietly.

“Jungwoo, you don’t look okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Is it the hydrogen? Or something else that you can’t get on Earth?” You went to press the back of your hand to his forehead. It was sticky with sweat, but simultaneously cold and clammy. “Shit, dude, you feel awful.”

“I’m—I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I just need to get back to-to Galaria.”

“Okay, yeah,” you nodded. “Let’s get you back. You said it’s almost done. What else do you need?”

“One of your friends is a mechanic?”

“Yeah, Yuta. He fixes cars.” You were slightly alarmed that he apparently couldn’t remember which one.

Jungwoo held out a long, thin black tube to you. “Could you ask him if he has something like this? Twice as long?”

“Of course! I'll go right now!” You took the tube from him. “You stay right here. Rest, okay?”

He nodded, leaning against the panel and shutting his eyes.

You ran into Yuta’s auto shop, skidding to a stop and nearly crashing into a bench and toolbox, drawing the attention of everyone in the shop. Every head whipped over to look at you, and Yuta pushed himself out from under a truck on the far side of the shop.

“Yuta!” You dashed over to him, ignoring the attempts at conversation from his coworkers as you ran by them.

“Off-limits, assholes!” Yuta yelled back at them before focusing on you again, grabbing a rag to wipe his hands off. “Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“It’s Jungwoo, he needs something like this, but double the length.” You held the tube out to him. “Do you have anything like it? I’ll pay for it.”

Yuta inspected it with a furrowed brow, and you dropped your voice even lower as the sounds of the auto shop rose again.

“Please, he’s-he’s really not doing well. I don’t know how much longer he can be here, Yuta. Something about Earth, it’s not good for him. I’m really worried.”

“Yeah, I would be if I were you.” Yuta handed the tube back to you, then crossed his arms over his chest. “I gave him a part just like that two days ago. He said it was the last piece he needed.”

“What?!” Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach.

“I gave him a new brake hose two days ago. Unless he blew it up again, this isn’t it.”

“I’ve got to go.” You took off towards the door of the garage. “Bye, Yuta! Thanks!”

“See you around!”

TEASER TAGLIST

@bee-the-loser @ppddpjdr @tearinka @yoursyuno @yutasputa69 @winkeuu

[ofliterarynature]

physical tbr of doom • read April 2024

Sorcerer to the Crown by Zen Cho

The True Queen by Zen Cho

Vassa in the Night by Sarah Porter

To Marry an English Lord by MacColl and Wallace

Arabella of Mars by David D Levine

A very good bunch from my physical tbr this month! I don’t think I’ll be keeping the Zen Cho books, but Vassa and To Marry an English Lord are both maybes - Arabella was my favorite and will definitely be staying.

[bulletbilltime]

"Did you hear the stupid bigoted thing this known outrage farmer said? What a stupid thing he said! Let's post it everywhere and make the news 24/7 about that thing and make him the center of attention so more people can see the shitty things he said! There is no downside from giving the stupid bigot more of a platform!"

"What do you mean he is the president now. What do you mean he's the president a 2nd time. Nobody could have predicted this."

[prettythrills]

𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 | 𝐞. 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬

tags: ellie is smoking a cigarette, finger sucking, groping, nipple sucking, mild language, use of pet names (pretty girl, baby), light marking, afab!reader, a healthy mixture of fluff and smut, wooo, we all cheered

a/n: wrote this directly in tumblr, so it might look slightly off? anyways im kinda rusty so, and im praying this isn’t ass chat. 🙏 to be real, i was watching millers girl and i suddenly got inspired. literally don’t know how, it just hit me like a bus.

Ellie was sitting across from you, a cigarette loosely hanging from her lips as she looks at you. You’d been laying on her bed, chewing gum as you read one of her comics. Ellie was twirling her gnawed up No. 2 pencil between her fingers as she looks at you. Once you finally notice, you turn onto your stomach to look at her.

“What? You look like you’re gonna eat me or something.” You said with a chuckle. “Since when did you smoke?” You point to the cigarette and the puff of smoke coming from her mouth. “Since now. Well, not really. Trying to find my ‘creative outlet’ or something.” She shrugs. “And smoking is gonna help you with that?” You queried with a raised eyebrow. ”Eh. No, not really. It’s a start though.” She responds as she looks at you again.

Another chuckle escaped your lips. “Yeah, the start to your nicotine addiction.” You pop your gum at the end of your sentence and she hadn’t responded for some time. She puts her cigarette out in her ashtray. She joins you on the bed, sitting with her legs crossed.

“I want you,” She pointed at you. “You be my muse.” She points at herself. “Your muse, huh?” “Yeah. I want you to be my fucking muse.” She said as a smile creeps on her face. “So, I’m just that pretty that you want me to be your muse?” She nods. “Fine then. Should I pose for you? Sit here and look pretty?”

“You already look pretty.” Ellie smiles slightly. Slowly, her hand creeps closer to your face. Once it’s close enough, her thumb sweeps over your cheek, then your lips. Her thumb seems to linger there for a little before she parts your lips. You let her. She slowly pushed it into your mouth. “Is this necessary for the drawing process?” You mumble, to which she nods.

You put a hand on her wrist, taking her thumb further into your mouth. You coat her thumb in your saliva, letting one soft moan that makes Ellie blush a little. “This.. makes a pretty reference.” Ellie says as she watches you closely.

“Maybe we should get some more references then..” You suggest. “Take your shirt off.” Ellie replies seriously. “Would’ve preferred a ‘please’ on the end of that.” You say, pulling your shirt over your head. You sat infront of Ellie with only a bra on. Ellie runs her hands over the valley of your breasts, giving them squeezes that make you moan softly. Her eyes focus solely on how her hands look on your boobs and your reaction to it.

“Such a fucking tease.” You mumble as she continued groping you. “Am not.” She responded under her breath. “I’m.. studying you.”

It was obviously something more than some silly ‘art reference’ now. (As if Ellie hadn’t already made that apparent.) Her studying of you leads to her softly kissing you, but she doesn’t let it deepen in the way you need. She was getting you worked up on purpose.

”Why don’t you actually touch me? Or kiss me?” You ask. “Am I not touching you right now?” “Well, yeah you are but—“ “Then shhh.. just lemme study you, pretty girl.”

She pressed gentle kisses up and down your neck, looking up at you occasionally as she moves to your collarbone. You put your hand on the back of her head, your fingers tangling in her short, brown hair as she continues kissing you.

“Ellie cmon.. stop teasing..” You whine in her ear. She doesn’t respond. Ellie peppers kisses on your breasts, then she takes your bra off.

She leans down towards one of your boobs, then softly sucking on your nipple. Your back arches slightly as she continues on. The other nipple hadn’t been left neglected, as she’d been groping it and tweaking with your nipple.

It was driving you crazy. Her actions made you grow unbelievably wet. “Ellie.. I need you.” You whined out to her again. “I know, baby. I know.” She coos. “Then touch me!” “I’ll think about it.”

Her response makes you pout. After she’d decided she had enough of sucking your nipples, she leaves a small hickey on your collarbone. This makes you softly moan.

Then she just grabs her sketchbook and pencil and sits at her desk. You sit there dumbfounded. She left you all worked up and she didn’t even care! She was cruel.

[the-one-who-lambs]

uhh hello!! sorry if this is a tall order LOL but I wanna ask, do you have any narilamb fanfic recs? :D I already read yours and I really like bamsara’s and I’m waiting for epicaandk’s to update (that one is my fav ever <3) but idk what to read now lol

Tall order?? Naaaaah, I'm always happy to give recs. Oh boy, I'm gonna go in reverse chronological order.

If you've read all of my narilamb fics (have you seriously? I'm impressed, that's probably well over half the 150k+ I've written for this damn fandom. Also, to anyone seeing this from a reblog, my stuff is over at onethirdofimpossible!) then here we go!

You already mentioned it, but The Rehabilitation of Death is excellent so far! This one is by @bamsara who is new to the CotL fandom but apparently not new to fanfic writing; they have a really popular FNAF fic and I assume the well-deserved attention this fic's been getting is a byproduct of the popularity they've already gotten in other fandoms. :D Welcome, bamsara! Many of the fic writers in this fandom are friends with each other already, but we don't bite if you wanna say hi.

Feel No Evil and Language Barrier, both by @payasita. I always love how payasita portrays this duo (in both digital art and writing), with so much sass and repressed loneliness, knowing they're stuck together for eternity and making the best of it. (And maybe falling in love, depending on how dense Narinder keeps being.) What makes these come alive for me is how well thought out the setting is outside the Lamb and Narinder. The descriptions and weight of emotions really pop here.

LITERALLY ANYTHING written by pavi / @i-eat-deodorant. Depending on how spicy you want your fics to be he has even more here. Character analysis, diction, pacing, etc. are consistently 10/10. Top-quality banter between a sassy Lamb and tired old man Narinder. We constantly bounce ideas off each other and inspire each other a lot but I promise I'm not hyping him up just because he's my friend oh my god please just go bless your eyes.

It Was For You, O Death by blueberry-muffin-massacre (if they have a tumblr, let me know so I can tag!). An intriguing alternative ending to the final battle wherein the Lamb chooses a secret third option by refusing to give up the Red Crown and still observing Narinder as the God of Death. So many details are so well thought out and duality their relationship is nicely characterized-- both genuine care for each other and also quite unhealthy. A fine line treaded well!

Confessional by jusmove (again, lmk if they have a tumblr). Been a while since I've read it, but I love how the Lamb chips at Narinder's very carefully built emotional walls. Their personalities are very well fleshed out here, especially Narinder's cognitive dissonance at being able to process love.

Confession by @thewitchoftheweed. I didn't expect a part two to this one, but my god I was so thrilled when it did update. Narinder and Lamb with their unique and parallel loneliness and their fucked-up sense of everything. Their relationship is very rocky here, and I love how they navigate it: with tension and eventual, pained acceptance. Mind the rating.

Of Character Development and Being Dense by @calliecature. A short and sweet narilamb classic. They're both mutually pining and one of them is too emotionally repressed to realize it. Guess who.

Not An Offering, But a Gift by @checkplzjuliet. Small confession fic. I especially love how Narinder's descriptions twist the knife of his situation here, and how Lambert is a total foil for him! There are a lot of good things happening in such a short span, which is impressive.

Also, if you think you've read all my narilamb fics... I do have a secret one out there too. Just so you know.

Happy reading!

I'm already friends with many of the people here, but if any of the writers I've tagged have been kinda wanting to reach out for a while but feel a little anxious... Don't be. I've made my best friends in this fandom by literally just waiting for some of my readers to get over whatever assumption they have that I'm cool and say hi. Or being the more confident one first.

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

Coy Messages & New Love (Daddy Dom!John Price on Tumblr Headcanons)

Or: More headcanons for a story I might write someday.

CoD Masterlist

Username: CaptainBear

He’s a soft Daddy Dom but with a rough edge. So is it any surprise John is very possessive yet also genuinely caring?

And kinda heartbroken you don’t live in England despite coming across as British.

Is always the first to like your posts.

And despite the rules you set, especially the DNI if you’re 40+ (in my mind, John is about 42), you allow him to interact with your content.

Because there’s something drawing you to him, something inexplicable that craves his attention. Something that keeps you hoping there’s a chance.

Your heart almost leaps out of your chest when you receive a notification.

CaptainBear sent you a message.

CaptainBear: Hey, I just wanted to say I thoroughly enjoy your blog and you seem like a very darling girl. And pretty to boot! You probably won’t respond to this and that’s fine, but I thought I’d finally gather the courage to pop in and tell you.

CaptainBear: Also, if I may be blunt, seeing you wear that choker in combination with that bunny shirt makes it very difficult to think. If you were at base with me, I don’t think I’d be of any use. Mission planning would be nigh on impossible.

(your_username): Base? What do you do for a living?

CaptainBear: I’m in the military. Captain.

(your_username): Wow, seriously?! That’s incredible! But, with all due respect, what is a man like you doing in a place like this?

CaptainBear: Satisfying my curiosity. Maybe on a mission to find something.

(your_username): Which is?

CaptainBear: Companionship. With luck, yours.

(your_username): What’s your name, soldier? If you tell me, I’ll see what I can do.

CaptainBear: It’s John. Sorry, should’ve mentioned that. Quite a generic name too, I know.

(your_username): It’s alright, John. Is it short for anything or just John?

CaptainBear: It’s short for Jonathan, but only my Mum calls me that.

(your_username): But what if I did?

CaptainBear: God, you’ve got no idea how much I now want to hear you say it.

(your_username): Maybe someday you will.

He regularly checks up on you, even multiple times a day. Look, John just wants to make sure you ate, stay hydrated, and are healthy.

When he's on leave, it's not uncommon to get a message from him accompanied by a picture of a pint with the context he's at a pub with his pals. More often than not, it's followed by a confession he'd rather spend the evening with you.

Loves it when you send him photos, especially to show off new lingerie you bought.

Thrives on the knowledge he gets to see more of you than anyone else and loves the thought you’re showing others what they can’t have.

Because it’s all his.

Has confessed to jerking off to them… a lot.

Shares little bits of his day with you. He’d be at a bookshop and ask you to pick something for him to read or your recommendations. Or he’ll be cooking and be struck with curiosity because what is your favourite food? What do you like to eat?

CaptainBear: Y/N, I made a brownie.

(your_username): Oh, is it any good?

The photo he sends you answers the question. Nevertheless, just to be sure and give him the chance to give context, you send a follow-up question. (your_username): Did you use 90% cocoa chocolate or is it…

CaptainBear: It’s burnt… so now you know I can’t bake. I’m a man of many talents, but baking isn’t one.

(your_username): I’m sure you more than make up for it otherwise, sir.

CaptainBear: You’ll find out when we meet, my dear.

Assures you that when he’s away on deployment he’s not making up a lie to be with another. And in order to prove that, John will sneak in photos to show you he’s really in Iraq or wherever else.

Drives the task force up the wall because he gets quite lovey dovey in private.

Leaves compliments on your posts which are laced with possessiveness and his obsession with you (my pretty Dollie, sweet little thing, etc.) on your posts. He tags you in photos and reblogs too to let you know what he's into, thinks you like, and hopes for your relationship and possible future.

Furthermore, he also shows you claimed him via reblogs and by stating he’s ‘taken and proudly devoted to (your_username)’ in his blog’s bio (even before he's asked for your submission, which he is pretty sure you'll give him. Until then, it's a way to stave off unwanted attention).

Gets especially gooey with lust and affection when you show him the plushies you’ve crocheted (totally not saying this because I crochet, haha). Like, he’ll immediately brighten when he sees a '(your_username): John (and occasionally sir or even Daddy later down the line), look at this!' followed by a photo of you snuggling with your new animal buddy.

As time passes by and you two get to know each other in more ways than one, you finally decide to meet. The moment you tell John you booked a train to London during the time he’s on leave he’s overjoyed. Ecstatic even.

The moment you enter King’s Cross, he spots you and practically runs over to wrap you up in a warm bear hug before you can get so much as a greeting out. The only sound you make is a surprised squeal as he lifts you up and twirls you around. “My little lady, finally home.”

At last, you regain your voice. “Hello to you too, Jonathan.”

Though he loathes hearing anyone else use his full name, he melts on the spot when you do. Moreover, he’s flattered you remembered the promise he thought was an empty one, a fleeting wish.

Turned into a dream come true.

Takes you out for coffee and Build-A-Bear as a first date the day after because your first day together gets lost to unpacking and settling into the Hackney townhouse he calls ‘home’. Lost to getting the messages (holding hands all the while), learning how each of you likes their coffee, what his favourite cigars are, what your favourite food is.

Lost to the feeling of what it’ll be like to live together.

It’s surprisingly much easier for John to tune into you than he expected. Henceforth, he picks up on the hesitation that underlines your movements, the slight shudder in your lips while he tries his best not to get completely lost in you.

“We don’t have to do this,” he hastily says between kisses, needing to get the words out before you start something you won’t want to finish.

“No, I want to, John. I want you.” You told him you’re a virgin and have given off clues that the concept of actually having sex is, to be honest, quite frightening. Nevertheless, you’ve put your trust in him and feel secure in his touch, his embrace.

“I know, love, but I mean that we don’t, shouldn’t even, have sex if you don’t want to.” His features soften. “Don’t do it if you feel like you need to to please me because you don’t. I’ll wait for when you’re ready. I told you before, this isn’t about sex or the dynamic. I love you. Love who you, you as a person, are and I don’t want to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want.”

After reassuring him and giving him your consent explicitly multiple times, he picks you up and carries you to the bedroom.

Tries to be gentle the first time, but ends up being rough anyway. He’s utterly enchanted, nay, enthralled by how you look, unraveling over and over again.

All because of him.

Nonetheless, John refuses to cum inside you until you’re on birth control and he has bought a box of proper condoms.

“It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with you or cum inside. Believe me, I do, every minute of the day. Drives me fucking mad, but,” he caresses your hair as he pries your legs away from his waist, ”I have to think about your health as well.”

You don’t protest, don’t want to after a soft kiss on the forehead and a husky “I’m sorry, love”. In response, you lightly squeeze his arm and shake your head. “Don’t apologise. I also won’t force you to do things you don’t want to do. Though it’s nice.”

“What is?”

“You looking out for me.”

“‘Course I do,” John snaps into you, picking up the pace again that has you seeing stars, “I’m your captain. Your man. Your bear.”

Those very words, combined with his warm presence, tips you over the edge.

A content echo of his name fills the room, rings in his ears as a satisfied sigh falls from your lips and tears stain your cheeks. It’s this image of chaotic beauty, of gorgeous ruination, which almost makes him break his promise. Nonetheless, after a few more sharp thrusts, he pulls out. Thick creamy white spurts draw an intricate pattern on your skin.

His mark.

John rests his forehead against yours, basking in the afterglow. “I love you.”

Today and the many days he hopes are ahead of you.

[wannab-urs]

Pedro Pascal Character Fic Recs | Vol 42

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy Folks,

guess who's back! I don't know if I'm back to doing these consistently, but I have a hell of a list for y'all. Tags and summaries provided by the author, commentary provided by yours truly.

Mindfuck - Dave one shot by @whatsnewalycat

He said he could rattle the bees from your buzzing honeycomb brain. All you had to do was trust him with this power. So you did. And you do. Your valiant beekeeper meets you at this hotel every other Tuesday night, except on holidays.

Hypnotism, hypnosis-kink, Imperfect Praxis of Hypnosis, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Praise Kink, Smut, unprotected piv, D/s dynamic, Dom Dave, Mindfuck

One of the weirdest things I've ever read, but also one of the best. I was super into this. Mindfucking is WILD.... I'd read more of this universe in a heartbeat

Bittersweet Love - Dieter one shot by @ozarkthedog

Dieter is in recovery from drug addiction, the disease that cost him you. This is his first premiere after getting clean and his first one without you.

angst but with a happy ending! mentions of drug use and alcohol but nothing graphic.

This is such a sweet fic? That might be a weird way to describe it. I just love Dieter getting his shit together and all the good coming his way because of it.

Starlet - Dieter one shot by @whocaresstillthelouvre

Your husband has a big movie premiere, sure he looks great, but his co-star looks even better.

PWP, threesome, smut, fingering, oral (f receiving), lesbian fun, unprotected p in v sex, cum eating, addiction talk, sober Dieter, Kit Kats, I wrote this for the bi girls.

This fic is a dream, seriously. I want a hot movie star husband to bring pretty movie star women into my bed please and thank you.

Pas de Deux - Din series by @burntheedges

When Din Djarin – principal dancer at Concordia Ballet Company and generational talent in the classical style – suddenly left CBC and joined the Nevarro Ballet Theater mid-season, it shocked the ballet world. You never would have guessed that he would change your life, too.

modern AU, ballet AU, fluff, angst, flirting, dancing, lots of ballet terms (I’ll define things/link videos/etc. -- see below), misunderstandings, character study, romance, pet names (sweetheart, beautiful), lots of tension, later: smut, kissing, grinding, fingering, p-in-v sex, creampie, each chapter will have its own tags, Din lifts reader (see note below about reader)

This is one of the few modern Din AUs I've read, as I tend not to like them, but I can't recommend this enough. I was drawn in by the summary and hooked by the first chapter!

Never Let Me Go - Ezra one shot by @yopossum

Loving, reverent domestic smut with sweet, submissive Ezra.

SMUT; no plot that’s it just porn but with FEELINGS; sub!Ezra; established relationship; super duper in love; domestic fluff; comfort; gratuitous pet names; praise kink; body worship; body hair; grinding; breast and nipple play; teasing/edging if you squint; light bondage; riding; PIV; no condom (there’s come y’all); religious language and imagery as literary device; Ezra the human thesaurus; prose gettin purple; making grown men whine and cry; reader is not gendered, has breasts and a vulva/vagina, is described as having puffed nipples and dimpled thighs, can straddle Ezra, but no coloring, size, appearance, age, or ability is otherwise noted; Ezra is an amputee and healed and we love it (no gore or trauma or background re: his arm); but I did write this because I was watching Prospect without actually watching and was inspired by *~*those sounds*~* out of context tho; Beatrice is not reader’s name, just a nerdy Dante reference; I stole this title from Florence Welch; old person on tumblr; is this spacing wack?; not a beta in sight; 18+ only no minors

SUBMISSIVE EZRA!!! I loved this. Such a gorgeous fic.

Stick Buddies - Frankie series by @auteurdelabre

You and Frankie find yourselves in a complicated situation when invited to Benny's wedding for a week in Mexico. Despite your strained friendship, you both pretend to be a couple to save Frankie embarrassment when seeing his recently engaged ex wife. However as you navigate through this charade, old feelings and unresolved issues resurface.

friends to enemies, angst, fake relationship, bickering, there's only one bed, destination weddings, enemies to lovers, jealousy, idiots in love, revealed secrets, mutual pining, smut, HEA, so many fucking tropes.

friends to enemies to lovers??? Sign me the fuck up.

Where You Left Me - Frankie one shot by @chaotic-mystery

You meet Frankie for a date and reminisce about your relationship.

MAJOR character death. No movie AU but fuck Tom. This is overall angst heavy and please take care of yourself. Grief & loss, sadness, memories, I think that’s it? It’s just overall a bittersweet and tragically lovesick story. There’s no physical descriptions of reader other than wearing a black dress at one point and having hair that tickles Frankie’s nose. no y/n used

This shit made me cry in the best way. Please read this.

One of Your Girls - Frankie one shot by @pedropeach

unpacking some of frankie's old things leads to a revelation about his past. (OR to put it simply: frankie morales x triple frontier boys circle jerk)

Circle Jerk, Sub!Frankie, Bukkake, Facials, Cumplay, Cum Swallowing, frankie is literally a cum dumpster (and loves it), Praise Kink, Pet Names, Dirty Talk, oral (m receiving), Deepthroating, Cock Worship, Use of restraints, Sexy Photographs, Sharing, brief mentions of anal sex (m/m), for story purposes you are frankie's current gf, frankie x all the guys individually, this includes tom but he's not part of the circle jerk, sry tom

Really was not expecting this to be as tender and soft and sweet as it is considering it's one of the more filthy things I've ever read. Absolutely love it.

I'll Carry You - Javi P series by @almostfoxglove

You reunite with your childhood best friend when he arrives home from Colombia. Javier's sudden return to your life exhumes buried heartbreak, but he longs to set things right.

Eventual smut. Reference to canon-typical violence, injury, and the death of a parent. Plenty of alcohol consumption, yearning, and angst. YEARNING!!!

The yearning is exquisite. The fic is exquisite. I'm in love with this fic

Remorse for Remedy - Joel series by @pedgito

Alone, the Miller's brothers seem like your only hope. The outbreak is still fresh, weeks after the fall and all that matters is survival and the unlikely comfort that comes along with a man who wants nothing to do with you.

early outbreak, canon typical violence, morally grey!joel, smut (warnings given with each chapters), exploration of kinks, enemies to lovers, age gap (early 20s/mid 30s), unhealthy coping mechanisms, detailed warning with each chapter

I haven't ever read a series about Joel immediately post outbreak, which is wild. It's always raider!joel or qz!joel or jackson!joel. I love this new perspective and I'm so excited to read more.

Biology - Joel one shot by @endlessthxxghts

Joel hurt his back at work, so you've been helping him around the house until he heals.

able-bodied, female sex anatomy, and inherently fem!reader. No description of reader, everything is neutral (ex. “your bottoms,” “the curve of you” — nothing is specific in the way “you” are described). Age gap (reader early 20s, Joel in 50s). EXPLICIT MATERIAL PRESENT. HEED THE WARNINGS. WEIRD boundaries are crossed…you're not blood-related to Joel, but you were raised like you were. You call him “uncle.” Pet names (baby, darlin’, sweetheart, etc.). Pussy pronouns (she). Innocent touches until it isn't. Sexual tension galore. Slight dub-con. Icky Joel. Icky reader. Pussy grinding. Dirty talk. Slight degradation (“bitch” is used only once). Multiple orgasms. P in V unprotected. Reader is on top. Lots of teasing about the nature of yours and Joel’s relationship.

Well slap me silly and call me an uncle fucker because this fic was amazing. (they're not really related don't. look. at. ME.)

The Savage and the Sanctuary - Joel series by @justagalwhowrites

After the death of his daughter, Joel Miller fell apart. But when searching for answers at the bottom of a bottle and within his own rage doesn't fix it, he resigns himself to working for his brother in private security. It's a job that starts him down the path to stability and a semblance of a life, even if it's not one he particularly wants. At least it does until you show up. The biggest movie star in the world with your newly adopted niece in tow, you throw everything about Joel's life into flux. Is he capable of letting himself feel something again while protecting the only things left in the world that matter?

Protective Joel, Ellie & Joel Bonding, Joel is Bad at Feelings, POV Joel, Joel Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn

So pumped for a new Kit fic. Super into bodyguard Joel. The angst right out the gate is so beautifully painful, I just know I'm gonna cry once a chapter at least. (i've only read one chapter, so I have some catching up to do!)

Professor's Pet - Joel one shot by @chaotic-mystery

Professor Miller wants you to teach the class tomorrow morning & you need help being less nervous. What if he’s the reason you’re nervous, though?

Age gap but not specified, power imbalance (professor x TA, reader stutters when nervous, academic weapon, teasing, fingering, one (1) pair of panties ripped to shreds, oral (f receiving), spitting, pussy slaps, praise kink, name calling (good girl, sweetheart, baby, smart girl), dirty talk, talking you through it, spanking, condescending a little bit, cum eating, face riding, nasty freaky kisses to share your cum, no use of y/n

I cannot begin to explain how hot him helping her practice is. And then the smut.... I need a shower

Call It What It Is - Joel one shot by @joelsgreys

A disagreement over patrol duty leads to declarations that have been long overdue.

JACKSON ERA JOEL. established relationship. HEFTY AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and joel is 56). ellie and joel are fine bc i said so and they deserve nothing less. reader handles a rifle, joel’s a little too overprotective and almost seems controlling, but i promise he is not. well, maybe just a smidge. arguing, admission of feelings, joel miller says i love you (yes this is ooc, no i do not care bc i need this old man to tell me he loves me). angst, fluff. quite a bit of side character interaction before we get to joel and reader in the second half. the only physical description of reader is that she is shorter than joel.

We love overprotective Joel in this house

The Guard Dog - Pero Tovar one shot by @avastrasposts

Sent to your uncle's bleak castle in the north of England, you expect only a dreary existence until you meet his groundskeeper, a scarred, frightening Spaniard. But love in the Victorian era is not easy and life doesn't follow straight paths.

this is mainly all fluff with a bit of angst. Some of that casual racism and predjudice of the period rears its ugly head though. I've tried to keep the reader as blank as possible, but it's Victorian England and she's a lady so I have to presume she doesn't speak Spanish and has fair skin. No use of y/n.

This was so beautiful. I love the setting, I love the characterization, I love the story

Bloody Kisses - Tim Rockford/Dio series by @perotovar

shane has been in denial about himself for a while. newly single and with the help of one of his favorite singers, he opens his eyes to a new venture he could possibly take: the cop he sees on a semi-regular basis, detective tim rockford.

takes place in the early 00s, age gap (shane is 23, tim is 40), internalized homophobia, hurtful names (fairy boy, faggot, queer as a slur, etc), a gay porn magazine, lots of references to peter steele of type o negative (and his playgirl issue), male masturbation, acab, angst, protected p in a, fingering, excessive amounts of lube

I started reading this a while ago, but I never added it to the spreadsheet. I'm in love with how soft Tim is with Dio UgH

In the shadows of others, we grow - Tim Rockford/Dave York series by @sin-djarin

What happens when you put two different areas of law enforcement in the same room a few times a year to atone for their 'sins'? You find common ground and figure it out. Together.

M/M, Established D/s dynamics, each chapter contains individual warnings.

This pairing?? Obsessed. The feelings?!?!? Give me 14 more fics in this universe PLEASE

An End to Drought - Javi P one shot by @almostfoxglove

The future of your family's homestead hangs in the balance as Javier Peña comes home in the middle of a drought.

Javier Peña Smut, Soft Javier Peña, Sweet Javier Peña, Javier Peña Has a Big Dick, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Fluff, Neighbors,Javier might be a god? who knows!, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Penis In Vagina Sex, Oral Sex, Creampie, Sex, Vaginal Sex, unprotected piv, Freyr, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Post Season 3

I'm obsessed with the way the challenge was interpreted. Is Javi a god? We don't know... but he sure fucks like one.

Some shit I wrote:

Make it Hurt - Logan Howlett x f!mutant!reader - sparring + pain kink

Morning Ride - Logan Howlett x f!reader - soft morning sex

You're So Dark - Dave York x f!reader - prof!Dave x student!Reader

[kaelily]

ੈ✩‧₊ SWEET MORNINGS

diluc × gn!reader, fluff, lots of kisses, kaeya jumpscare/j

the sound of kitchen utensils and the sweet aroma of food is what wakes up diluc in the morning. he stretches his body, extending his arms to reach out to touch you and groans when he realizes that you're not with him. reluctantly, he leaves the bed, internally wincing at the way his bones crack as he moves. making his way to the kitchen, he witnesses the sight of you making breakfast in his shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to your elbows. a faint blush spreads across his cheeks when he sees your bare thighs, realizing that you're not wearing anything underneath his shirt. moving closer, he wraps his arms around you from behind and nuzzles his cheek into your shoulder which makes you chuckle immediately. seeing him act clingy was a sight for sore eyes and you always reveled in it.

"morning luc! and here i was hoping i could suprise you with breakfast in bed today..."

you hear no reply from him, instead you feel him burying his face further into your shoulder to leave feather light kisses on the sensitive skin there. the hand which was wrapped around your waist travels inside the shirt to squeeze your hips gently, making you groan softly. growing more concerned about this sudden behavior, you switch off the stove and turn around to meet his gaze cupping his face in your hands. he immediately leans into your touch as one of his hands raises to cover your own and press it closer to his face.

"are you all right luc? you look so troubled, what's wrong?" he shakes his head and gives you a soft smile "nothing's wrong, i... i just want to kiss you that's all... can i, dear?"

giggles escape your lips as you press yourself closer to your adorable boyfriend and prop your chin on his chest. "of course you can luc, you don't even have to ask..."

diluc wastes no time moving closer to press his lips to your own. needing more, he firmly grabs your waist to hoist you onto the couter, parting your legs with his thigh to stand in between them and continues the kiss with more fervour. when both of your lungs grow hungry for air, he pulls away to rest his forehead on yours and softly brushes his nose against your own.

"i love you... i love you so much dearest" your heart can't help but flutter because of those words again, no matter how many times you've heard it from him. leaning forward, you pepper kisses all over his cheek "i love you more luc"

as you both continue to nuzzle against each other, a familiar presence makes its way into the kitchen and the two of you fail to notice it because you're both obviously focused on something else.

"seriously? in the kitchen of all places? tsk tsk..."

you abruptly break away from the kiss to see the cavalry captain standing near the door with his hand on his hip and a rather amused look on his face. realizing the incredibly compromising position you were in, you opt to bury your burning face into diluc's shoulder and let out a soft whine. how did he even get in here? diluc protectively tightens his grip on you to hold you firmly to his chest and shoots kaeya an irritated glare.

"what do you want captain?"

kaeya props his chin on his palm and lets out a dramatic sigh. "oh i just wanted to wish my brother a pleasant birthday and this is the first thing i lay my eyes on!" a shit eating grin then spreads on his face "is this how you normally treat your guests diluc?"

"get out kaeya"

tags: @leonaism @seelestia @favoniuscodex @aimynx @kaeyaaenthusiast @dilucqwq @tokkishouse @eternal-dokja @cxlrose @kazuuaki @starz222 @randomnatics @fogggy @shiroganekagami (crossed out means i couldn't tag you due to some tumblr issues)

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!

[wololo-01]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. WATER!!!!

Yayyyy!!!! It finally here!! It my girl birthday!!! I'm so happy to finally celebrate Mrs. Water birthday <3

But actually that's not all I really want to celebrate and say.....

Oh boi ok long LOOOONG texts above ( there is Also some swearing so be warned too :'b) ↓

(also sorry for interrupting any of you guys!! For the people I tag, you all can just read the part I mentioned you and then skip all the rest!! <3)

*sigh* ok, I'm not going to lie here, since the last 3 years here in this community, it never crossed my mind that I would meet people as incredible, funny, creative and majestic as everyone here,And I'll tell you the truth, this fandom changed me a lot, I didn't imagine this would happen but look, this actually happened hahaha!! XD

To be honest, I had a lot of problems last year and this year too, a lot of shit happened to me and that really discouraged me in a lot of things,I had problems with my self-esteem again and wanted to give up trying anything and life as well I felt useless on several days but you guys, you all cheered me up so much!! I never had the courage to tell you this but if it weren't because of you all I really don't know what I would do :') everything was like: "No one will ever like my style" - BANG! Them find my style cool. "I made this drawing but I don't really think someone will-” BANG! People actually like it a lot “i made this fanart for them but what if then-” BANG! them like it a lot! I'm so happy! :'D

sorry, sorry kakskaak buuut also, There is actually some special people who I want to thank a lot, they are people who of all inspired me to continue and made me so happy:

@bluetorchsky & @androidcharles

YOU TWO.

Since the first time when I moved in to tumblr again to post my thsc art in a old account, I was scared to death that maybe there was no person who knew this game here and my style back then...jesus Christ"; _;, I was really about to gave up until BOOM!! suddenly you both show up in my notifications and I saw the reblog and read the nice tags you guys leave it AND- *slam table* AHHHHHHHHH/p YOU TWO LITERALLY ARE SOOO FREAKING NICE AND AMAZING!!!! Not only that but your both have such extraordinary creative and talent!! You two deserve so much happiness and love!! I was too shy to say this but now damn you both deserve to hear this!!! >:}

Blue your artwork is pretty!! Pretty like the moon and stars shining high in the sky!, your writing is extremely beautiful, like music on a violin or a piano at night or the ones pretty poems Written with so much passion, your writing is extraordinary! You dedicate yourself so much and manage to make a story seem like a book that you are lucky enough to know and read!! And not only that but your ocs, violin and accordion DANG I love how well written they are so much!! They designs are so great yet sooo fabulous and they storys is very veeeery good and greats!!!. I really hope that you continue with those Masterpieces that you write and draw!!, But not only that, but you are such a kind, spectacular and divine person, I really appreciate soooooo muuuch all the things you do here, your writing is done with so much passion and your art is so unique, Don't feel sad or anything just because you can't write or draw at some point, it's totally fine and you deserve all the time but also ALLL THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION in the world! ^^)

Katiee!!! First of all WHERE DID GET SO FREAKING AMAZING IDEAS AND CREATIVE?!?!!???? I SWEAR YOU ARE AMAZING AND FUNNY!!, sometimes I envy you a little, but I also consider you one of my inspirations!!!! Your art is beautiful, beautiful like a painting of flowers or like a clean and calm river, your style is so cuteeeee Those stick people really look like marshmallows!! I so eat your art!! >:3 (kakak sorry), but seriously you are a talented person too, many people here also like you and blue!! You are neat and I glad to be able meet you and your artwork!! (Also I saw that you also writing and it one about your au, I still need to Taste this new delicious write of you 🍽️) when you did the Toppat clan week YIPPEE I GOT SO EXCITED!!! I was scary to not be able to participate but I managed!! I have so much fun drawing all those stuff!!! The prompt You put it was really good also extremely interesting!!!, and talking about something I love so much your ocs!!! Especially Amelia! She such a cuteee cinnamon roll and a adorable blueberry cake!! I love her personality and the design Ohh ESPECIALLY the hair!! Its like a fluffy blue cotton candy!! You super cool, I really appreciate all the work you do, I hope I can see more, you are a talented, funny and absolutely magnificent person!!! Don't forget this!!! >:]

@capturecharlesau & @crown-of-roses-thsc

YOU BOTH ARE MY TWO FAVORITE AU BLOG HAHSHSHAK SUCH CREATIVE, SWEET AND AMAZING PERSON YOU GUY ARE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Minnie!!, you super cool! Like really you such a cool and amazing person!! You also so sweet and kind!!! You like one of those cool kid in the school who I look like at and said "I wanna be like she!! She so awesome!! Yep, she deserves this popularity, she deserves nothing but the best for all things" In the last year, I was really down by some things that happened, but then I saw some one of the chapter you post it and BOOOM!!! Your au is what brings me back the joy!!! AAAAAA I was so hyped about your au!!! Jesus it just so DAMN WELL writing, I love the ideas you have and the characters?? NAHAHAHA THEM ALSO ARE SOOO FREAKING GREAT you manage to combine the words anguish, violence and comfort in such an incredible way! (And snicker you too do!!) Some of your chapters were thrown out at times when I really needed something to distract me, seriously you are a divinely talented person!! And other things I love about your au is Terrence, I'm still a hater of this piece of crap but I want to praise you so much about how you wrote it!! He really was such a good and badass villain/antagonist!!! God, I've even had some nightmares involving him, he really gave me the chills, The way you wrote it from start to finish was AMAZING, I swear I still love rereading it all again, to me it's like a frollo like the hunchback of Notre Dame with a bit of the personality of Clayton from Tarzan or Ursula from the little mermaid!! (Sorry they all are one of my favorite villains), Another thing I love so much are your ocs! Not only Danny but I can also say allwork and Benz!! AHHH THEM ALL ARE SUCH COOL OCS!!! I also need to say you are amazing when it comes to writing about Characters!! I really wanna know so much more about them all!!, Danny is still my favorite (he so lovely and sweet, he and you deserve the world) but either way, I thankful for you get in this fandom :') you deserve so much loveee and appreciation!! You made wanna go back in training more cartoon styles and expression because of your artstyle who is perfect!!!! I and everyone here will love to see your next works and arts!!! DON'T FORGET WHO FREAKING NICE AND AMAZING YOU ARE!!!!

Snicker!!!! (Hope it okay to call you that)) *sigh*.....

I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE A MEDAL FOR THE BEST AU THAT IS BEING WRITTEN.

Wow, God, how can I put into words in English how good she is??? I won't even be able to describe it in Portuguese CUZ GODDAMN YOU HAVE SUCH A POWER TO WRITE SOMETHING SO GOOOOOD😭😭 think I can say you and have the absolutely talens of god and the creative of a Talented artist who deserves much more appreciation and great recognition!!! When you showed up I was having a few bad days but YOUR AU SUDDENLY FELL FROM THE SKY AND WAS IMMEDIATELY BLESSED TO READ SUCH THE MAGNIFICENT MASTERPIECE!!! I love sooo much the idea of ​​Ellie being Terrence daughter It such a cool and think I can say, a really original ideas (I mean about ellie being Terence daughter, not Terrence having a child "^^) I also adore so much all the personalities of each, RHM is one of my favorites, I'm also curious about his story and the others, I can't forget to talk about the villain!, AAAAAA YOUR TERRENCE IT'S SO NEAT!!! I also still his hater but you done such a good job with him gave the big vibe of two-face villain or the cocky anger issues one (idk what it the name for this one XD) but seriously? Meeen I wish I could could puch him just like rogue from jewel au from @smoresthehalloweenqueen ((Smore you also another of my inspiration and favorite artist!! >:3)) and CC!terrence, for me rogue, CC!Terrence and CoRTerrence are pretty good villains but make Blood boils so much just by seeing them but hey hey! This why I love villains you like them very much but wish them all just die soon (cc!Terrence was one Only these two are missing and I can't wait to see them all in hell ahahaha >:D) you really are spectacular, take the time you need to do the chapters, but I wanna to said that you are also my new Big inspiration!!

@00lari00

LARIIIII FINALMENTE EU TENHO UMA AMIGA BR NESSE FANDOM!!! DEUS É BOM DE DEMAAAAAAAAIS PORRA 🙌🙌

Akaskska sorry XDD but I serious!! I so happy to be the only brazillian person here in the fandom on tumblr!! It sucks sometimes not having someone who speaks the same language as you to talk :'''b but suddenly A SMOKE ARISED AND SUDDENLY FROM BEHIND, WIZARD LARI FINALLY ARRIVED!!! HOORAY!!!! Lari we can not talk to much since you busy with your school and I am a shy idiot but I need to said, HOLY SHIT YOU ARE THE MOST FUCKING COOL PERSON I HAVE HAD THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING, YOUR ART AND CREATIVITY ARE LIKE MAGIC COMING TRUTH!!! And this au you are creating??? É MUITO FODAAAAAA 😩😭🤌🤌🤌 CARALHO VEI TU TA FAZENDO UMA OBRA PRIMA ESPERO QUE VC NÃO PARE!!! É MUITO INCRÍVEL TUDO QUE VC TA FAZENDO!!! (Sorry back to English KAJSKS) I can't lie to you, I sometimes envy you, you are such a special, kind and incredible person. It's like I'm talking like the coolest maid ever and I think 'god they're so cool why they are even talking to me?, but I also see you as one of my big inspirations!! I know I will reach the same level as you in talent and art but I at least want to have some of your courage to talk to people and be good at drawing just like YOUU!!I also want you to remember that you are so wonderful and a very magnificent and awesome person!! Anyone who talk shit about you and one it's a hater because them never gonna be in the same way as you are!!! Also take all the time you need it for draw, study is also important I am here to let you know that I'm rooting for you every day!! I can see you Gonna have a bright and wonderful future, thank you for being my friend and also so being my inspiration

And now a really special one...a person who I am very very grateful...

@doodlethings

Bunnu?, omg I think I will cry (I already am since I'm writing all this) YOU. HOLY SHIT BUNNU I SWEAR HOW DARE YOU BE THE COOLEST, AMAZING, SENSATIONAL, WONDERFUL, KIND, AMAZING PERSON??? WHAT THE FUCK, I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU THE FUCKING WORLD, GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU DESEVE IT AND MORE THAN THE WORLD CAN OFFER TO YOU, In fact, how long have we been glued to each other? Type 4?? 5?? Or 6 years?? Oof time passed so quickly I lost count ;_; but well fuck it! The most important thing I want want to said is, YOU ARE SUCH DIVINE ARTIST AND WRITER!!! YOUR ART IS AS WONDERFUL AS A LIVING PAINTING A MUSE PAINTING, And this art deserves to be featured, every detail of it is so impeccable and incredible, and your writing? They are like a special, treasured book that deserves to be read, even if no one does, I will, I will appreciate your art and I will read your stories for the rest of my life, again and again and again, You are like a sunshine or flowers in the snow, you are my bestie, my favorite person in the world!! And you are my biggest inspiration to continue drawing, you have cheered me up all these years and continue to this day, you have the best sense of humor and music of all, your gave so wanna tips and help me a lot to deal with live and learn to love and appreciate more the things!! If wasn't because of you? Geez I really don't know but this doesn't matter, you are the best, intelligence and great yet sweetly and maravilinda person in this WHOOOOOLE WORLD!!! I LOVE YOU!! THANK YOU FOR BEING MY BEST FRIEND AND BE AND TALK WITH ME TO THIS DAY, I'm sorry about my horrible sense of humor, my delulu theories, lack of brain cells and Also because they heard the stupidest story I tell it ksskskajk you got a bored dumb friend :'b but I happy to be on your side until now and I can't wait to see you shine more <'3

Oh and for the people I didn't tag and said here

I'm sorry I can't tag all of you 😭😭 if tag more people here this post will be post only a few weeks later akajsj BUT DON'T THINK JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAG YOU GUYS IT MEAN I FINDA ANY OF YOU SO NEAT AND AMAZING!!! YOU GUYS SUPPORT AND LOVE THAT YOU ALL GAVE ME HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART!!! A LOT (almost everyone) OF YOU ARE ALSO MY INSPIRATIONS!!! YOU LOVE EVER BLOG, DRAW, THEORY, WRITINGS AND AUS THAT YOU ALL DO!!! KEEP SHINING AND GOING EVERYONE CUZ YOU GUYS ARE FABULOUS 💞💞💞 💅 I WANNA SUPPORT AND LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!! YOU GUYS DESERVE A LOOOOOOOOOOOT OF MORE THAN I CAN OFFER AND SAID DO NEVER FORGET WHO COOL AND BEAUTIFUUUUUUL YOU ALL ARE!!!! 🗣️📢

You knows? Today also is my birthday and there is It's a tradition in Brazil where, when someone has a birthday, after congratulations and lighting the candles, the person gives the first piece of cake to someone important, but all of you are important to me soooo...Since this is the internet not real life, I wanna pass several first pieces to each of you all!!!! SO GRAB ONE GUYS!!! NYEHEHEHEHEHE 🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰 >:DDD

Well this all I can actually said, happy birthday again Mrs. Water and Happy birthday to me!!

Also have I got this stupid idea her ajakskdkk xb

[chainsawmanicure]

Getting Pizza With the Scarecrow

hey guys. this is a fanfic i had started writing a few months ago about TNBA jon. idk why but i really feel like posting on tumblr dot com and getting some sweet notes. so hear it is.

Trigger warning: talk of food, mention of eating a lot of food (mentioned pizza eating competition), just food stuff mainly, mention of stalking

summary: u go to get pizza, but ur situationship decided to tag along

It was afternoon in Augusta, Georgia, and you were so hungry you could hardly press the gas pedal. Pangs of hunger shot through your quivering frame like bullets through a gun range. As you zoomed down the street, you noticed a sign up ahead: Mellow Mushroom. "oh Thank god," you thought to yourself, "something other than mcdongles...." for your stomach yearned for nourishment, though not from the likes of such an establishment as McDongles. Ough

     Pulling into the parking lot, you felt a strange coldness envelop you. You turned around to see if there was anyone else in the car. Sure enough, in the back seat sat Jonathan Crane... The Scarecrow. your old friend from college. He was tall, so tall you wondered how he'd managed to hide himself in your brand new 2024 Nissan Leaf (I googled compact cars). However he'd managed to, for some reason now he decided to show himself. His face was mangled beyond recognition. You couldn't tell exactly if it was his face or a mask, but his mouth opened and closed along with his words and his big white teeth shone clearly in a permanent  grimace. He was wearing the same wide brim hat, tattered jacket, noose, and tight pants as he usually did, and next to him his big stick laid across the seat.

"Jonathan." you greeted, not too surprised at his appearance. You'd suspected he'd been following you for some time now. At home, you'd noticed patterns of unfamiliar wet bootprints on the floor, and missing items from your trinket box, refrigerator, and massive pile of dirty clothes which had built up in the middle of the bedroom.

     In college, he had displayed an interest in you, often getting a little too close to you and staring at you from across the lecture hall. He'd always had weird ways of showing his interest in you, and expressions of friendship. Well, you weren't really friends. Not anymore, at least...

     Too tired and hungry to properly address him or ask him how he got in your car, you stepped out and started towards the restaurant. You soon heard the car door slam and felt Jonathan's presence behind you once more.

"Hungry?" he asked, stepping beside you as you pushed open the door of the establishment.

"Believe it or not, yes. I think someone's been taking all my soup and bread, and I've had nothing to eat at home." you shot him a mildly accusatory glance after saying this.

Jonathan didn't respond immediately. He knew you were aware of his visits to your apartment. He'd intended it to be that way... a reminder he still cared. A reminder he still remembered.

Jonathan: "Maybe someone wants to know where you buy such lovely soup and bread."

You sighed. "Costco. Now are you seriously going into this joint with me? I'm gonna be arrested for being in kahoots with the Scarecrow."

Jonathan: "Calm yourself. We're in Augusta, Georgia. To these people, I'm just an ordinary freak."

     The person at the table like when you walk in and theyre like ok follow me you know? They smiled politely through fearful eyes up at you and your companion before quickly scuffling away, leading you to an empty table.

The joint was fairly empty, save for three individual men and a young couple sharing a peach iced tea. Jonathan pointed at the couple.

"Perhaps they should've gone to Steak and Shake. They have milkshakes there, better for romantic sharing."

"Shut up, Jonathan. Shut up right now," you replied.

     The host scampered away after leading you to your table, and you were left waiting for the waiter with a set of menus before the two of you.

You sat on one side of the booth, and Jonathan sat across the table from you. You were surprised he hadn't sat next to you and squeezed you against the little wall thing dividing this booth from the one on the other side. That seemed like something he would do, but not today apparently. In fact, other than infiltrating your brand new Nissan Leaf, he had been acting rather civil. Civil, of course, as opposed to the clingy curious and weary endangered animal behavior he had exhibited so many years past.

     You watched as he surveyed the menu, holding it delicately in his big long grey hands. You didn't remember those hands being so grey and so... scary. Even harmlessly holding a pizza menu, they seemed as though they meant to instead hold your throat, to squeeze and squeeze until the lights went out. And by lights going out, I mean like, you die.

     He'd positioned his big stick at the back corner of the booth, and it had fallen so it poked against your shoe under the table. He set the menu down after a moment and spoke in that unearthly rasp of his, "I think I'll get a slice of the Kosmic Karma, and a peach iced tea, like the one those two lovebirds are sharing," he pointed once more to the young couple, who had now finished their first tea and gotten a refill.

"Well, I just want cheese," you said. "I think I'll get a whole pie. I'll take the rest home."

Jonathan chuckled, though with his raspy hush it sounded more like a weak cough.

"Take the rest home..." he repeated humorously, "what makes you think you won't devour the whole thing now?"

     And with that old familiar clingy freak swagger he possessed, he leaned forward and held your chin gently with his big long fingers.

"I think we both know how much of an animal you can be," he teased, though his expression contained zero percent of the flirtation his voice tried to sell. (if that makes like literally any sense at all)

     You swatted his hand away. "That was a long time ago." You hadn't eaten a whole pizza in one sitting since the pizza eating contest of sophomore year... None of your friends were able to attend it, but Jon was there. Oh, yes he was... watching intently with his curious and vaguely frightened eyes as you wolfed down eight slices of sausage pizza in under 7 minutes. He had seen a side of you no one else had really witnessed... seen your wrath, your gluttony, your pride, your... lust.

In the nowtimes, he sat before you, hands flat on the table, beady white pupils boring down into your own normal black ones. His demeanor was cold. He knew you were pushing him away, trying to forget what you two had shared all those fateful years ago. You didn't want to remember, but with him sitting before you, wearing his new sexy skin, you had no choice.

     The waiter arrived and shot the scarecrow a sideways glance before clearing her throat. "Hello, thank you for joining us today. May I ask what you two would like to drink?"

You looked at Jon, but he gestured for you to speak first. "I'll have Dr. Pepper, please." The waiter nodded and turned to Jonathan.

"I'll have the peach iced tea," he didn't shift his gaze from yours for a second, "with two straws."

[ink-flavored]

Get to Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

This looked fun, and I love answering lists of questions

Tagging: @foxys-fantasy-tales @noblebs @ceph-the-ghost-writer @auntdarth @damageinkorporated @srjacksin @wyked-ao3 @alesseia and anyone else who wants to do it!

Blank Questions for those who join me!

-

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I’ve been on Tumblr since 2014, but I didn’t make this writeblr sideblog until 2019.

What led you to create it?

Mainly because I crave organization, and I felt weird posting my fanfiction to a blog where I didn’t really talk about writing. Plus, I didn’t feel like anyone on my main would have been interested in hearing me talk about my original writing either, and even if they were, it would have been drowned in everything else I reblogged. I wanted to have a place that was 100% dedicated to writing to keep my blog topics more organized.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

I love talking about writing, for one, but I also love how many varied ideas you see in this community. There are SO MANY incredible WIPs waiting to be discovered here, of any genre you can think of, featuring ideas that make you salivate. The world-building some of you people have going on is fucking amazing, and I’m eating it.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I love talking about stories, including yours! Come say hello if you feel at all inclined to!

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

More people going crazy and/or stupid about their own stuff. Be your own biggest fan, and others will follow!

The kinds of writing I always enjoy seeing more of, in general, though: poetry (literally any kind of poetry), fantasy (high & urban), sci-fi (hard & soft), crime (bonus points if set during the Prohibition), romance, erotica (bonus points if kinky), detailed world-building (bonus points for fiddly politics, more bonus points if it’s inspired by other cultures than the generic European template), and any of these things in combination with each other!

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

Reblog other people’s work if you want them to reblog yours, always send someone an ask if you reblog an ask game from them, don’t be afraid to self-reblog no matter how annoying you think it is, but most importantly, do whatever you want forever. Have fun.

Lots more under the cut!

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Mainly my [currently untitled] urban fantasy anthologies and Pride & Justice. My anthologies are getting outlined for my own make-shift “write as much as you can” challenge I’m doing in parallel to NaNo this year, and I’m basically always thinking about P&J at all times whether I like it or not.

How long have you been working on them?

My anthologies are only officially around… a year or two old, probably? I had the initial impetus to start them ages ago (like, closer to 4 or 5 years ago), but didn’t start working on them as an actual project until relatively recently. Hell, I didn’t have the idea for an erotic urban fantasy anthology until December 2023!!

As for Pride & Justice, it will celebrate its second birthday on August 9th! It’s the only WIP I have such a specific date for, since it originally started as a fanfic I did for AUgust2022.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

For my anthologies, I’ve always loved urban fantasy, but pretty much all the urban fantasy I could find growing up was lacking in some way (to me). Either the fantasy elements were pasted onto our already existing world—usually “in secret” or with some other excuse to keep the “regular people” from finding out—or it was a genuine fantasy world with more advanced technology, but always a detective story. Seriously, what’s with urban fantasy and detective thrillers? They’re cool, but there’s so many of them…

I craved something closer to a “slice of life” urban fantasy—what would a fantasy world with our current level of technology and manufacturing actually look like? How would people live, what would a city be like, how would things like magic change what a sufficiently advanced culture looks like? And then, of course, the crazy magical sex????? That’s the logic I’m working from with both my anthologies, a sort of “what-if” combined with a slice-of-life peek into urban fantasy lives.

For P&J it’s a lot simpler: the fanfiction I wrote simply didn’t want to be a fanfiction. It wanted to be something bigger, more original, with more room to breathe. I gave it permission to be itself.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

All of the time. Forever. If I am thinking about something, it’s probably my WIPs.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

I reflexively answer “fantasy, and I dabble in sci-fi and contemporary fiction.” Sometimes I clarify I write both high and urban fantasy, because most people assume high fantasy. I usually also mention I write poetry, and sometimes I’ll mention my Magnet Monday schtick.

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

Well, if people could get really cool about me saying “fantasy romance and erotica” that would be neat. I think we’re still a little ways off from other people’s reactions not being 1) smiling stiffly but politely before changing the subject or 2) making a rude face before changing the subject.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.  Side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

List them all? We’d be here a while.

I have an OC Roulette that I spin when I need to pick a character at random for whatever reason, so I’ll just list the ones currently on it:  Pride, Justice, Kindness, Ollie, Sofia, Dante, Honesty, Lust, Xinya, Yu-Qi, Jao, Han Lao, Sita Zhai, Asim, Mira, Cahaya, Priscilla, Henry, Yvonne, Harlan, Hayden, Lenora, Teconia, Seraph, Park, Jamie, Kiran. And the OC Roulette list will surely expand as I come up with more blorbos.

Who’s the most unhinged?

It depends on how you define unhinged, I guess? Yu-Qi could be considered unhinged because she’s a God-Dragon who does not care much what you think of her and does literally whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Priscilla enjoys violence to a suspicious degree, to the point where her husband just sighs and shrugs about it. Honesty is an Evangelical Christian angel with the one and only mission to carry out God’s Word. Take your pick, really.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Can I just blanket say “the protagonists”? Generally, I use the POV characters for a reason, and it’s because I find them the most comfortable to write. I very rarely write multi-POV stories, and when I do switch POVs, it’s usually for one very significant part that the regular POV character isn’t present for or something. So—Pride, Xinya, Asim, Priscilla, etc.

Do you ever cringe at them?

Honestly, not really. Sometimes I get nervous about people accusing me of self-inserting or whatever, but then I remember that those people are stupid and lame. Of course my characters are going to be at least a little like me—I created them. Some will be more similar than others, but I put a little bit of myself into everything I write, including the characters. And even if they were self-inserts, who cares? I can do whatever I want, and don’t need to cater to pissants.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?  AKA, do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

They fly off the handle sometimes. The most persistent example is from The God-Dragon’s Wife, which was supposed to be about a monogamous couple, but a prominent side character started hassling me to make it a polycule so she could join in. I am now rethinking the entire plot to see if I can make it work.

In general, though, I feel like my characters exist somewhere in between “totally under my control” and “completely unrestrained.” I can drop a character into a scenario and act them through it, and there are absolutely times where I go “nah that’s out of character,” and have to change something. But for the most part, it’s like… observation. If I have a good handle on a character’s personality, arc, and motivations, I can just watch. Wow, look at ‘em go…

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? And do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? For example, as Asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on AO3, etc.

YEAH!!!!! ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!!!

Honestly, no preferred medium for questions. Send me an ask, reply in a post, DM me, message me on Discord (if you have it), leave a comment on my website, whatever. I love talking about my characters, and if you also want to talk to me about my characters, well that means I love you too.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on WIPs, or vibes?

Usually I scope out a blog and see if their WIPs are interesting enough for me to want to see regularly on my dash. Sometimes I’ll see a post from someone looking for other blogs that post [x] genre or [y] content, and if they match up with what I do, I’ll skim their intros (if they have them). I don’t like horror, so I’m not gonna follow people who only post horror stuff. I really like fantasy, so I’m more inclined to follow people who post fantasy stuff. If I see a particularly interesting WIP, I’ll follow the person even if it’s not the kind of thing I normally read. It all depends!

What makes you decide against following?

Genres I don’t like to read and my personal squicks, usually. Maybe the WIPs didn’t grab me. Some writeblr blogs are also people’s main blogs where they post a lot of other non-writing things, and I usually don’t follow those since I’m here for the writing first and foremost.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Sometimes! Usually it’s my mutuals who talk to me the most, so I interact with them the most. As a general rule though, if you talk to me, I’m gonna talk to you back, no matter what our following status is.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

If I know enough about them, yeah! I have plenty of other people’s OCs floating around in my brain from time to time, especially if they’re a regular occurrence on my dash.

[hoffstrap-yuri]

To Have and To Hold

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary: Like a game of cat and mouse, Hoffman and Strahm continue their little ruse from DC. Just in New York this time.

*Rating: +18 for Explicit Mature Content

*Tags: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Slight Feeding Kink, Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Domestic, Domestic Fluff

*Status: Sequel/Complete (First Chapter of First Fic Here) (Second Chapter of First Fic Here)

Author's Note: So Hi. Here's the sequel people have been asking for to "In Sickness and In Health (Insurance)". Sadly there's no fraud in this one, but I wanted to focus more on them growing as a couple than them just being bickering accomplices so that's why there's more focus on one date. This is also for the anon on tumblr who clocked me for having a feeding fetish in seconds after I reblogged a "make an assumption about me" ask game. Also yay Perez cameo in this fic, because I love her dynamic with Strahm so much.

Hope you'll all enjoy this one as much as the last, and thank you for reading as always!

Click. Click.

“Stop.” Strahm looked over at Hoffman from across their desks

“Give me the answer to 5 across, and then I’ll stop.” Hoffman replied, continuing to click his pen. He didn’t lift his eyes off the paper in front of him.

“I’ve got something better.” Strahm slid a paper across their desks and Hoffman took a glance at it. He couldn’t make out the details so he used the end of the pen to slide the document closer to him. He looked over the paper and brought it up to his face.

“I don’t get it. Is this the answer to 18 down?”

“No dumbass.” Strahm’s face dropped and covered his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I got us a reservation to a place.”

“What kind of place?”

“An Italian place.”

“Sounds nice.” Hoffman crumpled up the paper and threw it back into Strahm’s lap. Strahm unfurled the paper and smoothed it out over the desk

“You told me you wanted me to buy you dinner back at the hotel a couple months back. I’m buying you dinner.” Strahm grumbled a little bit

“And you’ve only shoved your tongue down my throat about five times since then. So much restraint on your part, Agent.” Hoffman rolled his eyes, “What’s in it for me?”

“Other than free food?”

“Yes.”

“You get a free ride into the city and don’t have to deal with Manhattan parking?”

“More.”

“What more could you want, you idiot?”

“Give me something like that bathroom in Virginia and our hotel room after our meal.”

“You want me to get us a hotel and make a weekend out of going an hour away?”

“Only if you want to. I was referring to the more heinous things we did in those places.” Hoffman stood up and leaned over Strahm’s desk. Strahm forcibly expelled a breath through his nose and Hoffman sat back down with the satisfaction that Strahm had gotten the memo. He crossed his legs and picked his puzzle up in time so that when Perez strolled in, it looked like the two law enforcement agents hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Honestly, when do you two ever eat?” She asked, looking over at the partner she’s had for five years

“When I feel like it.” Strahm responded. He leaned in his chair and flipped through the manila file folders before him as Hoffman answered Lindsay with a shrug. Hoffman got occupied making calls to potential witnesses for interviews the rest of the afternoon, while Strahm was tasked with making a drive out to a crime scene.

---

Strahm walked through the door of the other man’s home. It’d become second nature to him to go back to the detective’s house at the end of the work day. Perez even joked that she never saw Strahm at their hotel’s complimentary breakfast and he brushed off her concern with a ‘we must just go down at different times’. He sat down on the couch that was like a second home to him and turned on the TV without so much as a second thought. Hoffman leaned against the door frame and watched his partner from a distance before Strahm felt his gaze squarely on him. He looked back over at Hoffman before saying,

“Come here.”

Hoffman walked over to the couch and sat next to the FBI agent, taking the other man’s arm and putting it around his shoulders. He asked Strahm, “What are we watching tonight?”

“General?”

“I’d rather die.”

“Fine. We could watch survivor…”

“What about that Law & Order show?”

“You don’t think we get enough of that at work?” Strahm scoffed

“I don’t get to see Mariska Hargitay at work every day.” Hoffman shot back

“Oh bullshit, I know you’re not looking at her.” Strahm looked down at Hoffman and at his lips. He was frustrated having this back and forth exchange with the detective with no end in sight but he needed the other man. He craved the feeling of Hoffman’s stupidly thick lips on top of his.

“You look ravenous, Agent.” Hoffman caught Strahm’s gaze and leaned further into his space.

“Just thinking of how stupid you’d look with a mustache. It’d only highlight how damn big your lips are.”

“Right, that’s definitely what you were thinking.” Hoffman leaned back. Strahm made a noise in the back of his throat from the lose of contact but made a face instead of admitting that he wanted the detective in his arms. “I’m going to bed. If you care to join me.”

“I’ll be there in a minute. Something caught my eye on the pay-per-view channels.”

“Just give me the money later if you decide to watch something.” Hoffman got up from the couch and walked off to bed without so much as another word. Strahm looked over his shoulder and watched Hoffman walk away. He flipped through the channels mindlessly for a couple more minutes before crawling into bed next to Hoffman. Hoffman felt the shift in the weight on his bed and wrapped his arms around Strahm before the agent could protest. Strahm rolled over just enough that he wouldn’t break the grip Hoffman had on him and shut his eyes. When Strahm woke up the next morning, Hoffman was already in the shower. Strahm rolled over to look at Hoffman’s bedside clock. 6:30. Lindsay was probably down at the hotel’s breakfast right now, or was on her way to get some coffee from Dunkin. While he thought about his partner, his other partner stood at the bedside before uttering,

“The bathroom’s all yours.”

“Thanks.” Strahm replied back before lugging himself up off the mattress and into the bathroom. He put the previous day’s clothes on the side of the sink and hopped into the shower. He stole a bit of Hoffman’s aftershave and rubbed it across his neck. Before stepping out of the bathroom he slung his clothes on and realized he was missing a tie. He walked back to Hoffman’s bedroom and sat next to the other man.

“Something I can help you with?” Hoffman looked him up and down

“What did you do with my tie from last night?”

“You got some food on it and I threw it to get washed.”

“You mind if I borrow one of yours?”

“Sure. Won’t Lindsay notice?”

“Not if we bury the lead.”

“I don’t know how much further we can bury before we seal our coffins, Agent.” Hoffman got up from the bed and walked over to his cabinet. He pulled the first tie he found out and threw it at Strahm, who clumsily caught it. He wrapped it around the back of his neck before Hoffman swat his hands away and tied it for himself. He pulled the knot tight as Strahm stared at Hoffman’s hands working with a speed he’d never expected from the detective. “Now hurry. Or else she might get to the office before you do.” Strahm thanked him quietly and scuttled off to his car. He turned the key in the ignition and sped off out of the alleyway. When Strahm got to work the minutes dragged into hours. Hoffman talked to him like they hadn’t been one brush of contact away from making out that morning and it was killing Strahm. He started clicking the bottom of his pen before Lindsay gave him a look. She knew under normal circumstances the clicking would’ve driven Strahm insane and Strahm seemed to notice her gaze. He stopped what he was doing and shot a look at Hoffman who seemed to relish in the fact his habit seemingly grew onto Strahm.

“Doing anything fun this weekend?” Lindsay asked Strahm, pulling her attention back to the computer in front of her

“When have I ever done anything fun with my time off, Linds?” Strahm scoffed

“Don’t know. Weather’s supposed to be good.”

“I’ll be sure to stop at the Central Park Zoo for you.”

“Thanks.” She took his sarcasm and slung it back at him

“You must have something going on then.”

“Just going to see my mom.”

“Tell her I said ‘hi’.” He nodded

“I’ll make sure to save you an empanada.”

“Is that your way of asking to leave early?” Strahm looked up at her

“Maybe. Could throw in a slice of tres leche.” She shrugged

“Just go.”

“No tres leche?”

“No, definitely bring me a piece.” Strahm scoffed

“See you next week Pete. Hoffman.”

“Bye.” Hoffman replied as Perez threw her stuff in her bag and left

“We could probably get out of here early too.”

“Could we now?” Hoffman looked over at Strahm, “And what would we do with all our extra free time?”

Strahm looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was around before uttering in a low voice, “I could buy you a new outfit for our date.”

“Now we’re talking, Agent.” Hoffman grabbed his suit jacket and got up from his desk. Strahm followed with his case files in hand. Hoffman got in Strahm’s car and Strahm questioned him about it.

“The hell are you doing in my car?”

“It’s more efficient to carpool these days, Agent.”

“But what if Perez comes back and sees my car gone but you’re still here.”

“She’s not coming back.” Hoffman replied, “Now drive us to the mall and we can pick my car up later.”

“Fine.” Strahm backed out of the lot and drove them to the mall. While it wasn’t nearly as exciting as their first time shopping for a dress for Hoffman, he still had his fun teasing the agent with quick utterances about how his legs looked in a long dress he brought into the dressing room, or how tight a midi dress looked around his waist without ever going out to give Strahm a sneak peek.

“These two.”

“One.” Strahm said

“Two.” Hoffman bit back, “I know you can afford it and after all, this was all your idea.”

“Fine.” Without another fighting word, Strahm brought the dresses up to the counter while Hoffman looked at the various accessories by the registers. To the average onlooker, it probably looked like Strahm was buying the dresses for his wife while Hoffman was trying to pick out earrings for his bride. Strahm slung the bag over his shoulder and nudged Hoffman out towards the mall before Hoffman guided Strahm to another store.

“Seems like I’m getting low on my aftershave.” Hoffman remarked

“Wouldn’t know anything about it.”

“Right.” Hoffman rolled his eyes and picked up a bottle from the store. He stepped out a couple seconds later before his lips nearly grazed the side of Strahm’s ear. He whispered into it, “You know that bra you got me won’t work under my dresses.”

“So let’s get you something that’ll work.” Strahm replied as quiet as he possibly could. Hoffman walked off with a smirk as he dragged Strahm to another store. Hoffman threw a stack into Strahm’s arms and brought the other man up to the register to pay for it all. The cashier tried to strike up conversation with Strahm, saying how lucky his wife must be to have him out buying something for her. “Yeah. She is.” Strahm replied, not taking his eyes off the ever climbing total. He shakily handed his credit card over before getting the bag in return. Hoffman hummed in a twisted satisfaction as he practically pulled Strahm out of the store in his borrowed tie. “Think you’ve blown enough of my money for today here?”

“And if I haven’t?” Hoffman countered

“Then I would say you’re crazy.”

“To bad you don’t have the balls to say no to me.” Hoffman smirked. He saw a hallway in front of them and pulled Strahm around the corner before pushing his weight onto the special agent, pinning him to the wall. “Watching you squirm like this, Agent Strahm… does something to me.”

“Sadist.” Strahm scoffed

“If I’m so much of a sadist, what do you call it when your partner will use any phrase but the simple three worded one to get his feelings for you out? I think that’s pretty sadistic.” Hoffman growled at the other man. Strahm felt his face getting hot. So Hoffman had noticed his dances around saying the words ‘I love you’. He thought he was being slick about it, but if Hoffman noticed he must’ve made some unsubtle move in the past… Before he could give Hoffman an answer or a reasoning behind why he’d been avoiding those words, Hoffman pulled himself off Strahm. “Think about it, Agent.”

“Fine.”

“Good. Let’s go get my car.” Hoffman hummed and they walked back to Strahm’s vehicle. While Strahm was pulling away from the mall, Hoffman leaned in and kissed Strahm’s cheek. Strahm’s face turned a beet red yet again before realizing no one would notice their intimacy at 40 miles per hour. Strahm pulled into the lot of a fast food place quickly and kissed Hoffman square on the lips before driving back to the police station. “See you at home.”

“See you.” Strahm replied quickly and sped off. Strahm beat Hoffman to his house and waited at the patio door for Hoffman to come with the key. Hoffman strolled to the door and reached behind Strahm to unlock the door. He kissed Strahm’s cheek before walking into his home. Strahm followed suit and trailed behind Hoffman all the way to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around the detective as the man reached for something in the cabinet overhead. Strahm then buried his face in Hoffman’s neck.

“Here I thought you only liked me with a bra on.” Hoffman reached behind himself to run a hand through Strahm’s hair. “Such affection from you, Agent… will tonight be the night you slip up and say it?”

“No.” Strahm makes a noise of disapproval in the back of his throat

“Saving it then for tomorrow?”

“You’re just egging me on.” Strahm replied, though it was mostly to himself

“And you seemingly fall for it, hook line and sinker.” Hoffman was quick to counter him. “Get out of my way, I’m trying to cook.”

“Fine.” Strahm peeled himself off Hoffman and sat in the living room, faced with the dilemma yet again of what was there to watch this evening. Hoffman brought a plate over to Strahm and sat down next to him before Strahm stopped on a movie. Something unremarkable and inoffensive for two grown men to watch. Hoffman got up at one point to throw their plates in the sink and grab a blanket from the other side of the room. Strahm looked up at Hoffman before resting his head on the other man’s shoulders

“You looked tired.” Hoffman explained

“Yeah. I am.”

“Then we can sleep out here.”

“Okay.” Strahm let his eyes close shut and woke the next morning to the sun pouring into the living room. Once again he was alone on the couch and cocooned himself further with the blanket now that he didn’t have to share. He heard the floors creak, more than likely from Hoffman getting out of the bathroom, but decided to wait until the detective came out to the living room. He flipped the TV on and watched a news channel for a second, waiting on the weather report. “Looks good…”

“I haven’t even shown you yet.” Hoffman peered around the corner with a slight smirk on his face

“No not you, I mean the weather. For tonight.”

“Good.” The detective stepped out and fluffed up the ends of his hair with his fingers. Strahm looked him up and down for a good while. “See something you like, agent?”

“I…” Strahm stammered, looking for coherent words rather than guttural throat noises. Hoffman’s smirk grew. He slipped his fingers underneath the bands of the garter belt he was wearing before using a free hand to pull Strahm’s gaze up to his eyes.

“Say something, hubby.”

“I… You look really good.”

“How good?”

“Like I could take you right now good.” Strahm replied weakly. Hoffman let go of his chin and sauntered away back to the bedroom, though he still seemed pretty smug as he did. He came back maybe ten minutes later with his face completely dolled up and his dress on. He posed at the entrance to the hallway, putting one hand on his hip and waiting for Strahm to say something before approaching him. Instead Strahm got up from his seat and met the detective, wrapping a hand around Hoffman’s back. He leaned in and pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s before pulling away.

“You smudged my lipstick, ass.” Hoffman used the tip of his thumb to clean up the edges of his lips. “I take it you’re ready to go then?”

“Yeah.” Strahm replied while getting his coat on. After Hoffman locked the door, Strahm held the car door open for his wife and Hoffman slid into the seat. Once Strahm gets in, he reaches over Hoffman’s lap and fumbles with the glove compartment to find the directions he printed out back at the police station. He puts his hand on the gear shift and Hoffman covers Strahm’s hand up with his own. Strahm looked behind them quick and pulled the car out of the alley before taking off towards Manhattan. Hoffman rolls the window down and Strahm takes a quick glance at the detective. His hair was getting blown back by the spring air while Hoffman looked absentmindedly out the window, but his grasp on Strahm’s hand was still tight. His legs were also crossed and Strahm could hardly take his eyes off Hoffman but returned his focus to the road as he realized it had been a second since he checked. It took every ounce of self control Strahm had not to cuss while driving into the city, and even more when looking for parking somewhere near their restaurant. When they were parked he let out one big, “Fuck.”

“Good boy.” Hoffman let go of Strahm’s hand and gave him a supportive little scratch under his chin, “Getting your anger under control.”

“Shut up.” Strahm turned away from his touch and Hoffman grinned. They got out of the car and Strahm held his arm out for Hoffman to hold onto.

“Thanks honey.” Hoffman kissed his cheek and latched tightly onto the arm. They walked along the sidewalk and dipped into the restaurant

“How many?” The host asked

“Reservation for Strahm… Peter.” Strahm replied

“Okay, give me one second and make sure your table is ready.”

“Thanks.” Strahm nodded before he pressed his nose into the top of Hoffman’s wig.

“Nuzzle me any harder, agent, and my wig will go flying off.” Hoffman said under his breath between clenched teeth

“Sorry.” He pulled himself off Hoffman as the host returned and grabbed two menus for the couple. Hoffman sat down and dramatically flipped the menu open as he crossed his legs under the table. “Get whatever you want.”

“Is that why you were being so stingy at the mall?” Hoffman asked him, not taking his eyes off the paper before them. Strahm just quietly scoffed while a food runner came by and dropped off a bread basket for the table. Hoffman looked up and stole two pieces immediately and buttered them. Strahm looked up and watched the speed with which the other man devoured the appetizer before him. Strahm wasn’t one to notice this normally. Hell when Hoffman was sitting next to him on their couch at home, he just kept to himself. Maybe it was the way he so publicly ate like a pig but Strahm pushed the basket closer to Hoffman.

“Aren’t you going to have some, Agent?” Hoffman asked, mildly suspicious of the other man’s intentions

“Yeah.” He took one slice and buttered it up, before putting it down on the side plate as the waiter approached the table. They put their order in and Strahm took a small bite from the bread. Hoffman stole another couple of pieces from the basket. The waiter came back with their glasses of wine and assured them it wouldn’t be much longer on the food.

“You keep looking at me like you have something to say honey. Just tell me what you want, perv.”

“Here we are.” The waiter stops by with two giant plates of pasta and puts it down on the table. Hoffman gives Strahm a look before taking a sip from his wine glass and takes a stab at a couple of noodles on the plate. Strahm starts picking at his meal, clearing off a decent amount in the time it takes Hoffman to finish his pasta.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, I’m just getting full.”

“Bullshit, agent.” Hoffman scoffed

“That’s all it is, I swear.”

“And that’s why you’re pushing the plate towards me, like I’m going to eat it?”

“Might take it home for leftovers.” Strahm shrugged

“Pasta never holds up.” Hoffman pulled the plate closer to him and took a tentative bite from the plate before pulling it all the way over. Strahm swapped their plates and slipped off Hoffman’s plate towards the side. The waiter came back to check in and cleared the plate without much thought. Strahm grabbed a slice of bread as Hoffman twirled the noodles around his fork and brought it up to his lips. The FBI agent looked away quickly as some of the sauce sat on Hoffman’s lips. He reached across the table and used his napkin to clean his partner’s lips. “I can take care of myself, honey.”

“I know… just didn’t want you ruining the dress I bought for you.”

“Sure. That’s your motive here.” Hoffman eyed him up before deciding to tease Strahm a little. He took the front of his foot and wiggled it in between Strahm’s under the table. He saw Strahm shift his posture as his legs moved to the side and let Hoffman’s foot wander closer. With a guess, Hoffman lifted his foot up and used his tiptoes to put some pressure on Strahm’s crotch. The other man made a choking noise and hid his mouth in his hand, but Hoffman pressed a little bit more against the growing bulge in the agent’s pants. “Oh honey. What’s got you so bothered, huh? Is it my appetite; you know shoveling food into my face?”

“I…” Strahm started to say. He wanted to deny it this time again, but realized there was no hiding from Hoffman. “Yeah.”

“There, was it that hard to talk to me, your bride?” Hoffman scoffed, flipping his hair back against his shoulders as he sat so his feet would be crossed under the table. Strahm whined softly at the loss of pressure from Hoffman’s foot. “Now be a good boy and tell me what you want.”

“Just eat a bit more than you normally would.” He replied, “I mean… you’re eating for two.”

“Ah yes, how could I forget.” Hoffman smirked and called the waiter over and ordered a second plate of pasta for himself, “It wouldn’t do me any good to deliver a baby while I’m wasting away.” Strahm could only nod as the waiter dropped the plate down in front of Hoffman. He offered to get Strahm another bread bowl, which Strahm was more than happy to accept.

“This is really good. Have a bite, hon.” Hoffman held the fork out across the table and Strahm took it from the detective. He nodded and handed the utensil back to Hoffman before Hoffman continued eating. Hoffman let a sigh escape from his lips and rested his free hand on his stomach. “I don’t know how I’m going to finish this.”

“It’s only half a plate.” Strahm mumbled under his breath, “I’m sure you can find room in there.”

“I know I could, but…”

“But what?”

“I just don’t know how I could find room.”

“Come here.” Strahm huffed. Hoffman carefully slid from his seat and used a hand to brace his back as he got up. He firmly sat down on Strahm’s lap and looked into his partner’s eyes. Strahm’s hands rested on Hoffman’s hips for a second before turning him around on his knee, making Hoffman face the table. A hand spread across the center of Hoffman’s swollen stomach and Strahm used his fingertips to massage away the tension.

“Oh that’s it, hon.” Hoffman whispered, backing his ass further into Strahm’s lap. Strahm let out a weak noise as his erection rubbed against the fabric of his dress pants. His hands sunk further into Hoffman’s belly as he tried to keep his composure. Hoffman leaned back into Strahm’s chest and let himself get felt up by the FBI agent. He pulled his hair back all one way to make sure it was on Strahm’s shoulder as the other man worked at the tense ball of flesh. “Bet you could feel the baby kick if I really had one in there.”

Strahm made a small grunt of approval that came out as a ‘Mhm’.

“Hell if I eat anymore,” Hoffman started, “I might look like I’m carrying twins. You’d like that wouldn’t you, you sick fuck?”

“If I said I did?” Strahm replied quietly

“I might have to push you over the edge.” Hoffman peeled himself off of Strahm’s lap and went back to his seat across from his partner. He ate the rest of his pasta without much fanfare and pushed the plate away from himself before grabbing the dessert menu that sat on the center of the table. Strahm moved his seat closer to the table and hid his face behind the palms of his hands as Hoffman flipped through his options. “What do you think the babies would like, honey?”

“Why are you asking me, you’re the one with the cravings. Right babe?” Strahm teased Hoffman

“You’re right, honey.” Hoffman giggled like a school girl. As soon as he did that he scoffed under the ends of his wig. Who the fuck was that in his body just now that made him act like a ditz? When the waiter came back to ask about dessert Hoffman ordered tiramisu and two cannoli. He thanked the waiter as he returned and carefully slipped the bill over to Strahm. With a small ‘No Rush’, the man walked away as quickly as he could. Strahm looked it over for a second and looked up at Hoffman. He was being obnoxious about it, but Hoffman sucked the cream out from the cannoli shell and used the edge of his tongue to clean the powder sugar off the center of his lips. He gave Strahm a knowing wink as Strahm buried his face back into the bill holder. Hoffman snaked his hand behind the envelope and tugged on Strahm’s tie, forcing him to look back at Hoffman’s gaze.

“Give your poor wife some of your attention, mi amor. Surely the bill can wait?” His lips curled at their ends and Strahm slid the bill aside, firmly placing his elbows on the table as he watched Hoffman. He hid his mouth behind his hands and kept his eyes moving, trying to avoid eye contact. Hoffman snaps his fingers in Strahm’s face and brings up a little spoonful of the tiramisu up to his lips. Strahm takes the bit willingly, only to hear a soft coo from Hoffman. “That’s it. You’re being so good.”

“Didn’t know you spoke Spanish.” Strahm muttered to himself, only for Hoffman to return Strahm’s self-deflecting barb with a smile. Hoffman finished his desserts and used a hand to brace his back a little as he leaned into his seat. Strahm slipped a couple twenties into the envelope and pulled Hoffman up onto his feet. He wrapped an arm around Hoffman’s waist and guided him out of the restaurant. His hand rested on the slight bulge in Hoffman’s dress, making the man look like he was a couple months along with a baby. Hoffman wove his fingers in between the spaces of Strahm’s and the couple strolled out of the restaurant, Strahm practically pushing Hoffman back to his car.

“Maybe I wanted to look around.” Hoffman dropped his voice back down to his normal tone and gave Strahm a look, “Or are you too impatient?” He knew it was risky, but Strahm pulled Hoffman into an alleyway and after making sure there weren’t cooks out on their smoke breaks, he pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s.

“I love you…” He moaned Hoffman’s mouth. Hoffman pushed Strahm off of him for a second before looking at him. Strahm opened his eyes and thought for a second about what he had said. He had dropped the big ‘l’ word while making out with a man behind a restaurant in New York.

And hell, he meant it too.

“I love you.” He repeated, this time a bit more quiet. Still loud enough for Hoffman to hear, but it was only for the other man’s ears. Hoffman pulled him back on top of him by the collar of his shirt and bit down on his lip as their kisses became less rational and more about the contact between them. Strahm ripped Hoffman’s coat off his shoulders and threw it to the ground, after which Hoffman wriggled out of Strahm’s hold to pick the garment up. Strahm rolled his eyes, but then remembered the credit card statement from that purchase and helped Hoffman clean the jacket up so the muck from the street wouldn’t ruin the jacket. After that was back in working order, Hoffman started to sprint towards the garage where Strahm’s car waited for the two of them. When they got into the corner where his Crown Victoria was, Strahm threw the jacket on top of the roof of his car and pinned Hoffman to vehicle. Strahm pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s neck and with a soft mewl Hoffman said in his falsetto,

“Say it again, Agent.”

“I love you.” Strahm replied. His voice was deep and guttural as he lapped his tongue at the skin of Hoffman’s neck like it was a spring in the middle of a desert. “I love you.”

“That’s a good boy.” He worked a hand through the back of Strahm’s hair before dropping again, “I have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?” Strahm looked up sheepishly at Hoffman, his eyelashes accentuating his fondness for the detective. Hoffman made a quick ‘tisk’ with his tongue and said, “I need to hear it, Agent Strahm.”

“I’m wrapped around your damn finger. I’m your little bitch. Is that what you wanted?”

“More than enough.” Hoffman pulled the other man back on top of him, using his tie like it was a leash. He hooked a leg around the back of Strahm’s leg and used Strahm’s outer thigh to give himself some friction in his lace underwear.

“I need you.” Strahm let the words slip from his lips again with desperation. Hoffman used his hands and shoved Strahm off him before getting into the car. Strahm scuttled around to the other side of the car, turned the vehicle on, and flipped through the radio stations.

“And there’s congestion on the 495 as far as the eye can see bringing your commute home to about an hour…” The radio personality said as Strahm turned it off.

“All that time in the car.” Hoffman’s fingers were already trailing up in the space between Strahm’s pecs, “How are you going to make it, Agent?”

“Thank god we’re not in Midtown.” Strahm cursed under his breath, ignoring that his bulge was growing with every playful press of Hoffman’s fingertips on his chest. Strahm scanned the signs and picked the next accessible exit for him and looked for a garage that would be quiet enough for them. Strahm put the car in park and got out of his car before thinking to tell Hoffman what his plan was. He thought for a second before telling the other man, “Get in the back seat.”

“Okay.” Hoffman got out of the passenger seat and slid into the back. Strahm took his coat and laid it on the concrete before getting down on his knees, “Aren’t we moving a little fast there honey?”

“Shut up.” Strahm worked a hand slowly up the inside of Hoffman’s dress and kissed over the bulge underneath the loose fabric. Hoffman groaned softly and lifted the end of his outfit up so that his stomach was still covered, but his legs were exposed. Strahm grabs the waistline of his tights and when they don’t come off Hoffman’s legs fast enough his nails leave streaks in the fabric.

“Remind me to buy another pair next time we’re at the mall.” Hoffman muttered to himself “Come on.”

“I’m going as fast as I can.” Strahm growled back at his partner. When the stockings were down around Hoffman’s ankles Strahm kissed the inside of Hoffman’s thighs. He wrapped a hand underneath the meaty flesh as his teeth sunk in, sure to mark up his partner’s thigh. Not that anyone else would see these. This was for his eyes only. The way that Hoffman glared down at him as he took his time to service him, the love bites he left for himself later… it was all his. Strahm let a hot breath escape from his mouth and saw Hoffman’s dick twitch a little inside the silk panties he was wearing. Rather than free him, Strahm pressed his lips onto the skimpy waistband that almost dug into Hoffman’s thick hips before letting his tongue roam down to the seam on the bottom of the lingerie.

“I don’t think you are.” Hoffman pulled him back using a firm grasp on the strands of his hair

“Fine.” Strahm took the panties and slid them down to Hoffman’s ankles just above the leggings and in a swift motion found his mouth around Hoffman’s cock

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard was it?” Hoffman teased. His hand found the back of Strahm’s head once more. He awkwardly managed to get his legs hooked around Strahm’s neck and rested his calves on Strahm’s back. Strahm slid his hand under one of Hoffman’s ass cheeks and started to slow bob his head along the length of Hoffman’s dick. He pressed his tongue against Hoffman’s tip and looked up as Mark’s eyes were shut tight. Everything in cross-dressing man’s body worked against him. His legs getting weak, his eyes wanting to roll all the way to the back of his head, his mouth threatening to let a moan escape if Strahm’s mouth got any warmer around his cock. He hit the back of Strahm’s head lightly and shifted so his back laid flat against the ugly seats in the back of Strahm’s car. He arched his back a little before Strahm’s hand laid flat against the fat of Hoffman’s stomach and pushed him back down onto the fabric. Strahm continued to thrust Hoffman's dick deeper into his throat until it triggered his gag reflex. He pulled his mouth off for a second and Hoffman lifted his head up. He was so damn close and if Strahm didn’t finish servicing him he was going make Strahm regret it. Strahm looked at him with a slight smirk before wrapping his lips back around Hoffman. A couple more bobs of his head and Hoffman came into Strahm’s mouth.

“God damn…” Strahm coughed as he attempted to swallow every last bit of Hoffman’s cum. He pulled himself off of Hoffman once more, and Hoffman lifted his hand up to Strahm’s lip. He paused for a moment before wiping the last drop off the soft skin and brought his finger up to his own lips. He waited while Strahm sheepishly slid Hoffman’s panties back up his legs and did his best to adjust the tights so they wouldn’t trip the other man on the walk to the passenger seat. When he got Strahm’s undivided attention once more, he licked his fingertip clean and sucked on it. Strahm leaned in and kissed him, resting a hand on the side of Hoffman’s neck as he stood over the detective.

“Say it.” Hoffman demanded of Strahm. Strahm hesitated for a second before saying “I love you” one more time. Hoffman sat up in his seat and ran a hand across Strahm’s chest. “When am I going to hear it from you, huh?”

“When I feel like it.” Hoffman pressed his lips onto Strahm’s cheek and with a stiff finger pushed Strahm off of him. They got back into their respective seats and before Strahm took off he flipped on the radio once more. Traffic had cleared up, and they headed back to Hoffman’s house. Hoffman unlocked the door and leaned against Strahm as they stood in the entryway. “What do you want?”

“On the couch.” Strahm replied

“Oh. Can’t even wait for the bedroom?” Hoffman teased him, kicking his heels off with wild abandonment before stepping over to the couch. He sat down and Strahm sat down beside him. “That it?”

“No. Put your feet up.”

“Okay.” Hoffman raised an eyebrow and slung his legs over onto the couch. Strahm wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tucked Mark’s head onto his shoulder. “What’s this Agent?”

“That post-coitus cuddle I was looking for in DC.” Strahm said without missing a beat. Hoffman shrugged and sat with him while Strahm turned on the TV. He was pretty happy, but Hoffman wanted more. He could tell Strahm wanted more too. So to drive up the tension a bit, Hoffman rested a hand on the inside of Strahm’s thigh. When Peter seemingly ignored that gesture he worked his hand over in small circles.

“C’mon. I’m down for something.”

“What?” Strahm’s Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed back the dryness in his throat

“Let me be in control this time.” Hoffman hooked a leg over Strahm’s lap and sat there. He pulled Strahm’s dress shirt out from his pants and worked a couple of the buttons open. Next, he took off Strahm’s belt and threw it towards the kitchen, making sure to toss it in the opposite direction of the TV. Underneath him, Strahm turned the TV off. Whatever was on wasn’t getting him in the mood. Strahm lifted his head up to kiss Hoffman’s neck, and as badly as he wanted Strahm to kiss him, Hoffman pushed him back into his couch. “I said, let me be in control, Agent.”

“Fine.” Strahm muttered under his breath and let his hands rest squarely on Hoffman’s hips. Hoffman bucked his hips slowly up into the slight muffin top sitting on Strahm’s stomach. Strahm made a soft grunt as Hoffman continued to roll his hips up against him for a moment until he moved back a ways. He tugged Strahm’s fly zipper down and slid Strahm’s pants and underwear down far enough that he had easy access to his dick. Hoffman huffed as he realized what he wanted to do involved having to get up, but pulled himself off of Strahm for a second to slip his tights and panties off. He threw them to the side and plopped his full weight down onto Strahm’s lap once more. The man under him made a grunt noise as his body braced for the other man’s weight, and Hoffman leaned into him. He took his face and kissed it, snaking a hand under the bottom of Strahm’s open shirt.

“I thought I was the chubby chaser.” Strahm remarked dryly

“Didn’t say that I didn’t like people with a little… heft to them.” Hoffman responded in kind. His hand rested on Strahm’s stomach before working through the hairs that grew along there. “I’ve been quite restrained with you so far, Agent. So I ask you, are you willing to trust me?”

“Yeah.”

“I want to hear you say that you’re willing.”

“I’m willing to trust you.” Strahm sighed and looked up at Hoffman. Something so devious hiding in those eyes, but Strahm couldn’t put his finger on it. Hoffman groaned softly before getting up and walking quickly. He comes back with a bottle of lube and coats Strahm’s dick liberally before taking Strahm up his ass. Strahm let out a moan as Hoffman’s hole closed around his dick. “Fuck.”

“Like that, huh?”

“Yes.” Strahm continued to moan. Hoffman saw Strahm getting ready to move his hips so he moved his hands over the sides of his hips and applied a bit of pressure. He bucked up into Strahm furiously, riding his partner until he gave up. He saw Strahm’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he came quickly into Hoffman’s hole. Hoffman continued to thrust himself up and down until Strahm’s back slumped back into the couch. Hoffman pulled himself off Strahm’s dick, but stayed seated on Strahm’s lap for a second, putting Strahm's hands on his hips.

“I love you.” Hoffman ran the back of his finger along Strahm’s jaw and looked into his eyes. Strahm nudged Hoffman off of his lap and guided the other man’s stubborn body back into the position they’d been in when they first started sitting there. “You’re not going to say anything about that?”

“About what?”

“About me saying ‘I love you’.”

“It’s an honor.” Strahm replied dryly. He pulled Hoffman’s wig off and caressed his cheek with a careful hand. Strahm pulled a blanket over his lap, only for Hoffman to steal half of it for himself as they cuddled. A couple swipes across Hoffman’s shoulder through the night, a touch against Strahm’s chest… it felt comfortable. Strahm almost didn’t want the night to end, but when he felt his eyelids growing heavy he lifted the blanket up and stood. Hoffman tried to grab the blanket back but before he could Strahm tucked an arm under Hoffman’s legs and lifted him.

“Jesus.” Mark stared back at the couch before wrapping an arm around Strahm’s neck. “The hell are you going to do now?”

“Care you to bed, idiot.” Strahm said, making the move across the room and to their bedroom. He dropped Hoffman carefully onto the mattress and let out a deep sigh before lying next to his partner. Resting on his side, he leaned in and said “I love you… Dumbass.”

“I love you too, jackass.” Hoffman smirked as he kissed Strahm’s cheek before they both drifted off.

[foxymoxynoona]

Tell Me What Changed (Part 11 A)

Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive

Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.

Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC

CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, bad language, explicit sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else I'm making it up as we go

Read on AO3 here or below cut

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Read Epilogue

Note: I did it again, the chapter is too long for tumblr so I have to split it into three parts. Make sure you read A first!!!

Jungkook wasn’t nervous for his date with Alex. Why would he be nervous? It was Alex. He knew everything Alex liked. He knew how to have a good time with her. He knew how to make her laugh until she’d yell she was going to pee herself and go waddling to the bathroom while he shouted things after her to try and make it happen. He knew what food she liked and how long she could tolerate standing in line for an attraction and that she didn’t mind the cold but she didn’t like to get wet in the rain because she didn’t like her hair and clothes sticking to her skin. 

Once he had wanted to test that, run naked through the rain with her. She had of course refused and punched him in the stomach for the suggestion. He wondered if now he had a better chance of convincing her… for science, obviously! Did she still mind the rain if her hair was in a bun and she was totally naked in it? What if he was on top of her, blocking some of it?

But in all seriousness, he might not really date other than an occasional activity preceding a good fuck but if he was ever going to go on a date, Alex was the easiest partner for it. They could have fun –and had!-- anywhere: the grocery store, a furniture store, CVS to get their flu shots, McDonald’s at 2am, urgent care that time his ears were stopped up so badly and his fever was so high he started to cry and she forced him to go and kept referring to him as “my son” to the nurses and he couldn’t stop laughing despite the pain. 

So yeah, why would he be nervous about a date? He had no doubts about success. He was going to take her to minigolf, school her ass, then tacos from the best truck in town which he had confirmed would be at Hoff Memorial Park;  they’d eat sitting in the cold on a picnic bench and then he’d take her home to his bed before the rain started around nine and he’d, you know. Spaghetti her. He’d put a lot of thought into what positions he’d use too. A lot. Needed to be sure he’d maximize her pleasure and not bend or twist her in a way that hurt her. Stroke her just right. He wanted to win a scream! Leave her a trembling melted mess in his arms. Ah, it’d be so good… she’d be all fuck, Koo, I finally get it now, you’re really fucking good at this. Make her eat her words alongside his dick, that thing she’d always said with a laugh, damn, if the insta-girls could see the real you they’d be heartbroken.

He needed to show her what’s good.

He had a plan.

And then the comments started.

Nate: “Oh damn, you actually have a date with her? Wasn’t that last guy really good at dates? Good luck, my man.”

Namjoon: “Oh. That’s the date you planned? Isn’t that just… what you guys normally do?”

Taehyung: “Yeah this is the time, you can really show her that you’re serious and mature and want to do this, so like, whole nine yards, something big and– oh. Minigolf? Um…”

Sabina: “Don’t take her to minigolf. She deserves more than minigolf.”

Anita: “Hm, I think minigolf just seems a little easy and impersonal. But you know her best! If you think that’s the kind of date she likes, then…”

Jimin: “You messaged me on my honeymoon for this? It’s fine, Alex will think it’s funny.”

Fuck. Fuck! As Jungkook paced his apartment the afternoon before the date, he realized his plan was no good. He didn’t want Alex to think their date was funny. He wanted her to think it was romantic. He wanted her to be awed by his charm and suaveness… suavity…. State of being suave. He wanted her to be swept off her feet. He wanted her to forget Hobi was ever a guy she dated and it sucked because Nate was right, Hobi was good at dates. He showed up and showed out and Alex was always all flustered and bubbly after their dates. Jungkook wanted Alex to be like that afterwards. Not just like “yep that was an ok time hanging out with my good buddy JK.” He wanted blushes and giggles and then bam, spaghetti!

This called for a fucking re-plan. And fast. 

He showered so he’d smell fresh and lotioned and not like the mall, slapping on cologne and spot-fixing his acne in between looking things up on his laptop perched precariously on the bathroom counter. A few google searches and phone calls later and he’d completely redone their plans for the night, pulling out all the stops. Was it going to hurt his bank account? Yes. Was she worth it? Also yes.

Much more at ease about the whole thing, Jungkook took one more look at himself in the mirror, snapped a selfie, and posted it to his socials for the pep talk he needed.

[TheJK.1997]: look good feel good treat her good, ready for the surf and turf. Best wine recs for Hollyoak Vineyard go

He checked himself one last time, ran over a spot he missed shaving real quick, and was out the door in plenty of time to pick her up early, just to really surprise her. Definitely not because he was getting a stomachache from nerves and needed to do something other than pace from living room to kitchen and pick at his lips.

She wasn’t ready. There he was with a fucking bouquet of flowers even though it made him feel like a fucking idiot because Hoseok gave her flowers so it would look like he was copying but obviously he couldn’t not show up with flowers –there he was with a fucking bouquet of flowers, sitting in a living room he’d been in at least one thousand times since he’d known Alex, while her dad sat in the chair and watched a Planet Earth documentary and her mom made tea in the kitchen even though he had assured her he didn’t want any. They had said hello to him and not much else, both like this was any other time that he’d come over and also like it wasn’t and they weren’t supposed to acknowledge his presence as he just sat there on the couch in slacks and a button up with fucking flowers to give their fucking daughter who was fucking late. It was mortifying. Jungkook wished he could melt into the cracks between the couch cushions. He wished Dilong would come running out and scratch his throat or piss on him or something so he had an excuse to just leave.

“How’s work?” Baba Song asked him over the sound of flamingos feeding.

“It’s good. Busy at the holidays.”

“How is your dad’s– ah, I will just ask him, I’ll see him tomorrow.”

Jungkook nodded. He wasn’t actually sure what about his father was unwell right now, so he should ask. He pulled out his phone and saw they were going to have to hurry to make their dinner reservation. 

“AHh I had better check on her–” Jungkook mumbled, starting to stand. Mama Song was just setting tea in front of him and took it upon herself to shout for Alex followed by Chinese. Alex answered in short Chinese, then came down the hall.

“I’m ready, ok? What’s the rush? I was doing my makeup– oh?” She stopped in front of him and her eyes went right to the flowers. “You brought me flowers?”

Jungkook was instantly mortified. She was probably comparing them to the ones Hoseok had bought her.

“They’re for your mom,” he quickly corrected, thrusting them towards Mama Song. 

Who let out a cackle of a laugh and said, “I will put them in water for Alex. I have a perfect vase. They are beautiful.”

“Wait, I want to see them,” Alex cried, leaping after her mother. She bent down to look close and Jungkook felt like she might as well be examining his limp dick, he was so embarrassed. They were supposed to be nice. He’d bought really nice ones at the standalone shop next to the Starbucks –not the one she worked at, not the one Hoseok worked at, a different one! He didn’t know what kinds of flowers they were but there was lots of color and some spiky looking ones because they looked fun and he thought spiky flowers made sense for her. 

“They’re really pretty,” she said.

“You’re really pretty,” he countered automatically, an old way they had of teasing each other except this time he’d accidentally been nice. Baba Song coughed on the couch and Jungkook thought it had to be related. Cool, he already felt like he was dying anyway as Alex grinned wide and looked him up and down and he was sure she was laughing at him. Baba Song laughing at him too was exactly what he didn’t need.

“You look like you’re going on a date,” Alex mused.

“Uh…” The panic was instant. “Aren’t I?”

“Koopa,” she laughed and hit him on the arm. “You’d better be! Let’s go, weren’t you in a rush a minute ago? You know it takes time to do my makeup without you to help.”

“It looks good,” he said, though the points weren’t quite even which he only noticed because sometimes it took her ten tries before she’d give up and ask him to do it. He started to offer to fix it now but she was already headed towards the door and it didn’t matter. 

“Goodbye Mr. Song. Mrs. Song,” he called. Should he promise to have her home at a certain time? Even addressing them that way felt weird but like, he was taking their daughter out on a date, he had to seem sort of respectful and responsible, right? “Thank you for the tea!” He hadn’t even touched it.

Alex’s skirt was very short, he noticed as they went to his car. She had fancy green tights on underneath it so he couldn’t see skin or anything but it did occur to him that if she bent over, he might not even need to hike it up. Not that he was just thinking about fucking! It really felt more like a nervous impulse to think about it, because he was way more nervous about the not-fucking parts right now as he hurried around and slid into the driver’s seat. He wasn’t even trying to fuck her tonight! He just wanted to hit it out of the park, this whole “date with the goal of earning another date” thing.

“So where are we going?” she asked as he started the car. It was cold and he wished he had thought to run out and start it early so she wouldn’t have to sit in it; she was wearing a new coat, not her usual bulky one that made her look like a burnt marshmallow. You know, in a cute way!

“Um… you know that steakhouse over on–”

“Steakhouse,” she repeated, eyes going wide. “You can’t afford steak!”

“You don’t know what I can’t afford. I’m taking you to a steakhouse!”

“Ok ok geez.” She wiggled in her seat to get comfortable. “I figured you’d just take me for tacos or something. Steak is fine.”

He scoffed, “Come on. I’m a better date than that.”

“All right James Bond or whatever…” she mumbled. “Didn’t know you had something you were trying to prove or whatever.”

“Yeah well…” He didn’t know what to say to that. Yeah, of course he had something to prove. “Is it warm enough for you?” He made it warmer, just in case, even though he was starting to sweat. 

They lapsed into silence. The roads were icy so he didn’t want to be too distracted but it made him nervous for her to just be sitting there staring out the window. Silence was bad on a date, that was something everyone knew. Silence was definitely not going to leave her starry-eyed and weak in the knees.

“So uh, how’s work?”

“Ugh, next question,” she snorted, and reached for the radio dial.

“No, don’t turn music on. Let’s just… talk.”

“O…k….”

He started talking just to fill the silence. He told her about his own work, and about Appa thinking he wanted to do Christmas lights and throwing one lit net over a bush and calling it a day, and about his new nephew who was still pretty useless but starting to look cuter now. He realized they had seen each other a few days ago so these life updates weren’t necessary but he wanted some sort of connection.

“Uh… well, there’s not much going on with me… well, Hobi brought a box of my stuff to work today, so that kind of sucked–”

“He brought it to your work?!”

“Well he waited in the parking lot but yeah… I mean we agreed to do that today but still that sucked in the morning and then I got home and Dilong puked on my bed and I stubbed my toe while I was getting ready… but you brought me flowers, so that’s the best part of my day so far,” she smiled. 

“They were for your mom…”

“Oh yeah? For Mrs. Song?” she teased. 

But he didn’t feel like being teased because this was a date and they were supposed to be getting to know each other and charming each other, so instead he suggested, “Ok let’s not talk about Hobi or uh, other exes or anything tonight.”

“Um… ok… Geez, sensitive much?’

“It’s my date with you.”

“You just asked me how my day was and I told you.”

“Ok so now I know and I’m just saying we can talk about other things now.”

“Ok like what?”

“Um…” Jungkook wracked his brain, but everything that came to mind wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted to talk about on their first date. Funny but inappropriate memes, friend gossip, political outrage, bemoaning the economy, a really bloody anime he’d started and thought she might like too, none of it was the way he wanted to represent himself right now as a respectable and respectful guy. Boyfriend material.

“We’re here,” he announced. Saved by the drive time. He pulled into a spot near the water’s edge –just a pond, but definitely something the steakhouse capitalized on for atmosphere. Fairy lights hung above the walkway through a little windy garden to reach the front of the restaurant.

“Woah, this place is nice,” Alex murmured, bumping into him as she looked around. “Are you sure about this? It’s really fancy… I didn’t dress for something this fancy…”

“I’m sure.” He took her hand and looped it through his arm. “You deserve something like this. It’s our first date. Right?” He looked eagerly down at her, needing to hear her agree that it was in fact their first date and that was in fact a big deal to her too.

“I guess but you really didn’t have to go to so much trouble. You know me, I’m easy–”

“I don’t know you. This is our chance to get to know each other,” he corrected. “As –you know, this new way of seeing each other.” As romantic partners, he couldn’t bring himself to say.

He thought her smile looked unconvinced but at least she was smiling. They reached the front door –and now he saw a side ramp they could have taken right to the front door instead of wandering through the garden. Uh well. He opened the door for her and they walked in to easily the nicest restaurant Jungkook had ever been to in his life. The host was wearing a tux. 

Shit this place was going to be expensive.

“Good evening,” the host greeted them as Jungkook shirked his coat off.

“Hi. Um, Jungkook Jeon, table for two. I have reservations for 6:00.” 

“Ah, yes, Jeon, hm…” The host didn’t move as his gaze trailed down Jungkook and then slid to Alex. “My apologies, Mr. Jeon, but were you aware that there is a dress code for dining here?”

Jungkook glanced down at his slacks and dark blue button up and nodded, “Yeah. We dressed nicely.” He glanced at Alex and realized he hadn’t told her to dress nicely but yeah, she looked great: short red skirt, dark green legs, a fluffy white sweater with… pearls? Had she really worn a sweater with pearls all across the chest to their date– ok, but she hadn’t meant anything filthy by it, he was sure of that. Just because his mind went there didn’t mean hers did.

“I’m sorry, the dress code is formal. That means at least a tie and jacket for the gentleman and formal evening dress or pantsuit for the lady.” 

“Uh…” Jungkook glanced at their outfits again. “Well this is what we have on so…”

The host looked performatively apologetic as he said, “I’m sorry, I cannot seat you.”

“But… but I made a reservation,” Jungkook argued. “No one’s going to die because I’m not wearing a jacket.”

“Neither of you is dressed appropriately for the restaurant, I’m afraid–”

It was embarrassing, sure, but he also didn’t want Alex to hear someone insinuate she wasn’t dressed nicely, so he ignored that she was grabbing his arm and argued, “Ok but she looks like a million bucks so I don’t– you just need me to put on a jacket and a tie–”

“Jungkook, let’s just go,” she said, trying to push him back towards the door.

“But I made reservations. This isn’t the ‘50s. No one under 50 has a jacket and tie for dinner at a shitty suburban steakhouse on the swamp–”

“Koo, let’s go,” she grunted, and managed to push him back against the door. He pushed it and stepped back out into the cold and felt the anger flare up freely now.

“What the fuck kind of place– am I crazy? Who fucking cares whether I have a jacket and a tie on for–”

“Well they care, it’s their rule!”

“It’s discrimination against young people!”

“Yeah, did you see the people eating in the restaurant?” she laughed. “I don’t think they want young people eating there. They want like rich uppercrust people.”

“Those people don’t live here.”

“Well this place is kind of famous, isn’t it? Maybe they drive in…”

“Is it?”

“I think it was on a TV show,” Alex admitted, before pointing to a plaque beside the door. Apparently it had, and won a bunch of awards. No wonder they cared about the way they looked or whatever.

“Yeah well showing all that by the door is tacky,” Jungkook scowled. Waves of anger and embarrassment rolled over him. “My money is as good as the next guy’s.”

“Ok but who cares, we don’t have to eat at a place like this. Let’s just pick somewhere else,” Alex said, nudging him towards the ramp.

Ugh, Hoseok would definitely have worn the suit and tie.

“Maybe we can just run back to my place and I can grab the suit I wore to the wedding–”

“No, I’m not dressed like that either and I don’t want to change. I spent way longer than I want to admit figuring out what to wear that would be cute and comfy,” she protested.

“But I want to take you to this nice place–”

“I don’t care about the nice place!” she snapped. He really did think she snapped at him, and it shut him up. They marched in silence down the ramp back towards his car. They got into the car. They buckled their seatbelts.

Bad start to the date.

“We can go to Taco Bell for all I care,” Alex suggested.

“That’s a shitty date,” Jungkook sulked. “That’s the kind of date you think I am?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Taco Bell…”

“I’m not taking you to fucking Taco Bell,” he groaned and pulled out his phone and began scrolling again. What was close, and nice, and not a fucking Taco Bell, and not going to turn them away at the door because they weren’t dressed in some shitty elitist outdated formal dining attire. Fuck, he was so angry about it! Even if that was a rule, they couldn’t bend it? They couldn’t seat them somewhere private or something? He was trying to impress a girl here!

“We could do Italian… is that too much wine though? We’re going to a wine tasting afterwards.”

“A wine tasting?” Alex repeated. “Um…”

“You don’t like a wine tasting?”

“No no it’s fine!” Alex assured him. “That’s cute. You really… yeah, it’ll be great,” she smiled at him. “And sure, Italian is fine! Let’s do Italian. What place are you thinking?”

“Tomasso Trattoria and Enoteca,” Jungkook read, and handed her the phone as he started to drive so she could look at it.

“Woah… this place is still really nice though… I was thinking like Olive Garden–”

“Alex, can you please let me take this date seriously? I realize maybe you don’t care but–”

“I care! Care about this being our date? I care!”

“I want it to be a special date!”

“I get it! This place looks very special,” she told him, setting his phone in the cradle with the GPS up. 

He knew his frustration was a wall between them but she didn’t break it down this time. Usually she was good at that. He didn’t know what it meant, that she didn’t try. He wasn’t sure how to do it on his own, because if this was a date with someone else he wouldn’t care, he’d just change the subject and move on and vent about it to Alex later, or invent an excuse to take the girl home and go home. To Alex. Obviously she knew how he was, inside and out, but as he drove in the silence he started to feel a deeper embarrassment, like she’d seen him do something wrong. It wasn’t wrong for him to be annoyed with the restaurant for not letting them in! They had told him formal dress when he made the reservation sure but they didn’t explain that meant anything other than just looking your best! He looked his best! Alex looked her best! What, were they going to wear their wedding clothes or something?

“You know I was thinking about how crazy it is that just everything is Christmas this time of year,” Alex mused. “It’s not like I didn’t know everything is too Christmas and that there are lots of people who doesn’t celebrate who have to deal with it but I guess because we celebrate without being Christian, I didn’t really think about how fucking annoying it is for people who really don’t celebrate. Rebekah was telling me people always act like they’re sorry for her…” She continued to talk about it and he took the moment to breathe deeply. Ok. Change in plans. But Alex wasn’t demanding he take her home, so it would be ok. Even if he didn’t know why the fuck this was what she decided to ramble about, at least it was something.

The Italian place was busier, smaller, not on the water, but still nice and they didn’t get turned away at the door. The host took their coats for them. The tables had real candles, which Jungkook didn’t realize he cared about until they sat down and he saw the actual flicker from the breeze of their motions. The menus were short, which a Reddit thread had taught him meant it was a sign of a good restaurant. Their waiter had a bowtie and a black vest and offered to call over a sommelier to guide their wine selection.

“We’re going to a wine tasting after this,” Alex informed the waiter. “So I’ll wait on the wine.”

“We can have a glass or something here,” Jungkook argued.

Alex shook her head and tapped the wine menu, maybe trying to show him that the cheapest wine was $15/glass at a glance. But he had brought her to an Italian restaurant! For a fancy dinner! Wine was part of a fancy dinner!

“You don’t have to, but I’ll have a glass of something, send the sommelier over,” Jungkook insisted. 

Alex decided she’d have the glass too. They had to show their cards and mused as they always did about how old they would have to be before the stopped getting carded. The waiter brought them bread and promised their calamari appetizer would be out quickly.

“Wow, it’s so romantic here,” Alex murmured. Jungkook felt the sigh of relief radiate from his chest. The candle light danced across her skin as she studied the elaborate murals on the walls, partially obscured by heavy red curtains. Elegant music played over the low din of dining. They were towards the edge of a large room, tucked into a little booth by the window with a view of nothing but trees. A grand piano stood in the center of what looked like a dance floor, tables sparse on the wooden floor.

“I feel bad,” she continued. “I didn’t realize you wanted to do such fancy things, I would have dressed nicer.”

“I think you dressed nice.”

“I did too until I saw you,” she laughed. “I guess I forgot…”

“Forgot what?” he asked, not following.

“What you look like.”

“Whaaaat?” he grinned, warmed by the flattery. The compliments from her felt sincere in a way they hadn’t before. He was used to teasing, so he almost didn’t trust it, but she didn’t look like she was teasing him. Now he found himself hungry for more. Did she really think he was hot? Not just aware that other people thought so, but she thought so? She liked the way he looked? She liked the way he dressed?

“Oh my god,” she snickered and rolled her eyes. “Do you always take your ego on dates with you?”

“No, I left it at home tonight with my jacket and tie,” he joked. She smiled and looked so pretty in the candlelight. He draped his hand across the table, palm down, to see if she’d take the hint and put hers on it. Would they be the kind of couple that held hands at dinner? Obviously not on a first date, but someday would they sit on the same side of the booth? Well, in a more serious way than when they did that at Wendy’s so they could both put their feet up on the other bench, that was different.

“The mood lighting is so… romantic,” she said again. “I feel like I should have worn high heels.”

“Your boots have heels.”

“Yeah but you know what I mean…’

“Do you want to dance until our food gets here?” The question was impulsive. No one else was dancing. But that could mean she wouldn’t have to feel nervous or pressured about dancing on beat with him. They could just hold onto each other and sway, here by the table or over on the dance floor. Maybe other people could join. He had enjoyed dancing with her so much, it would be a nice thing to add tonight.

But her eyes went wide as she cried, “Hey, don’t make fun of me!”

“What–”

“Oh god, don’t joke about it,” she laughed and covered her face. “How fucking humiliating…”

Jungkook hadn’t meant it as a joke. He thought it would be romantic. He certainly hadn’t meant to embarrass her just by the suggestion of dancing together. Unsure what else to say, he racked his brain trying to think of topics. The problem was that the lists of things to talk about on your first date were things like ask about where they grew up and ask about their hobbies and ask them what makes them unique? And ask them where their favorite place in the world is. But Jungkook knew all of these things about her! He wanted to learn something new about her. He wanted to seem new to her.

“Uh… what’s your favorite place in the world?” he asked as she untangled the little legs of their calamari appetizer.

“Mine? I don’t know… my parents’ house? I guess it was our old apartment.”

“Oh. Really?” he frowned.

“Why are you frowning?!”

“That’s just kind of sad.”

“Ok. Ouch.”

“No! I mean because we don’t live there anymore.”

“Oh. Yeah. How annoying,” she sighed. “So what’s Namjoon like as a roommate?”

“He’s a good roommate,” Jungkook said because he didn’t want to gossip or vent or seem complainy. Namjoon was a good roommate! Sure, he had a household aesthetic and a lot of Jungkook’s stuff didn’t meet the mark so he was kind of crowded into his room. 

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say? Come on, you complained about living with me all the time.”

“Ah, yeah, sorry about that…”

“Huh?”

Embarrassed that she’d bring that up, he sipped his $15/glass wine. Yeah, he was worried about that. Alex was his best friend and he’d always treated her like a best friend but that wasn’t the same way you wanted to treat a girlfriend. He had a lot of things to undo. Actually, that was it, their first date wasn’t about learning, it was about unlearning all the things he would never have let a girl see about him. 

“You’re being so weird,” she laughed, and nudged his foot under the table. “Is something wrong?”

“Hm? No, why would something be wrong?”

“Don’t let that other place bother you. I like this place a lot better anyway, this calamari is really good! I hope you still like me when I’m bloated from too much fettuccine…”

Instantly he assured her, “Of course I do. I mean, not that you’ll be bloaty or– I mean, obviously the body naturally looks different after a big dinner but it’s not– I won’t notice that kind of– it’s just normal…”

“It was a joke,” she said. “I’m wearing a bulky sweater, you won’t be able to tell anyway. Unless you get me naked.” She arched her eyebrow. 

“We, um– tonight it’s um… were you thinking that? I thought we’d just have a nice date–”

“Oh. That’s not… nice? OK, I mean I’m half joking, I didn’t realize you had such a tight schedule for tonight!”

Jungkook had never felt so awkward and weird around Alex in his life. The only thing he knew to do was try and get the conversation back on track to Impressive Date Approved topics:

“Hey, so I was watching a really interesting show the other day. It was about the brain and all the changes it goes through from like a baby to a dead person– an old person.”

“The brain does very much still change after you die,” she pointed out. Yeah, dead people and rotting brains was definitely not on the approved list. No girl went home from a date and was like oh boy he was so handsome and charming and funny and we talked about decaying brains. I’m so in love.

She had not said that to him yet. That she loved him. There hadn’t been any real confession or labeling and he was obviously fine with that, he didn’t need labels, but still, it would be cool to get her to say something he could be sure of.

“No, don’t be like that, it was really cool to see– oh thank Christ the food is here.”

“You in a hurry or something?” she laughed. Which reminded him that they did have a scheduled start time for the wine tasting. He checked his phone as the waiter set their food down. 

“Our wine tasting is at 7:30.”

“What?! Then yeah we don’t have much time!”

“Yeah.” Hm, he hadn’t really done the math right– or well he had when he’d made reservations for six at the other place, he just hadn’t counted on needing to change restaurants. Actually they have very little time. “Uh, well, ok, let’s eat fast then…” Eating fast was not romantic. “Or we can miss it. It’s fine.”

But she waved her hand, already twirling pasta around her fork, “No way, we’ll make it. You worked so hard planning all of this! I can eat fast. Damn this is good pasta…. You want to try this?”

He did, but he already envisioned the noodles swinging down and getting on his dark shirt. And then she’d want to try his, which was spaghetti and meatballs (it was one of the cheapest things on the menu, ok?!) and he’d drop one and it would bounce onto her white sweater. It wasn’t worth the risk.

“Nah, we can just eat our own food,” he assured her. 

And promptly knocked his glass of wine to the ground, shattering it.

**

Alex had never seen Jungkook acting so weird in her life. He swung back and forth between distracted and too intense. One moment she’d think he was bored and the next he’d ignore whatever she just said and start telling her a play by play of some brain documentary he watched! He was clearly pissed about the first restaurant turning them away but then didn’t seem to care about the next place even though it was really nice; they had to leave so quickly to get to the wine tasting that they didn’t even get dessert. 

He wasn’t acting like himself at all. Honestly, she felt like another day he might have still been able to sweet talk them into that first restaurant –though she was glad he hadn’t because she wasn’t really comfortable in a place like that anyway. It was bad enough being at the Italian restaurant where Jungkook insisted on paying and the waiter gave her a menu without prices so she didn’t even know how much damage she was doing to Jungkook’s bank account. He didn’t want to talk about any of the things they normally talked about. He didn’t respond to any of her jokes. 

She couldn’t figure it out. Did he just not want to be here? But that didn’t make sense, because if he didn’t want to be here, he wouldn’t be! Jungkook had no problem peacing out of a situation he didn’t want to be in. He’d bailed on her plenty of times, that wasn’t hard for him.

They rushed across town to get to Hollyoak Vineyards for this wine tasting Jungkook had booked them for –and she was confused, because they couldn’t do a vineyard tour in the cold and dark or anything– and made it just in the nick of time. He kept saying over and over that it was fine if they missed it, which seemed to mean it wasn’t fine. 

And then, checking in, winded by the sprint from the car, Alex made a terrible discovery: she had left her wallet and ID at the Italian restaurant. Which might have been fine if Jungkook wasn’t with her, because often she didn’t get carded on her own. But Jungkook made her look younger with that charming babyface of his. The woman asked to see their IDs before they could join the tour and tasting.

“I left it at the restaurant,” she admitted quietly, turning to Jungkook.

For a moment he just looked at her.

“You don’t have your ID?”

“It’s at the restaurant.”

“Uh…”

He froze. He looked between her and the employee and Alex knew that look: somebody fix this for me because I don’t know what to do now. Usually she didn’t see that look unless he was drunk or in emotional crisis. Neither was true now, except that he still wasn’t saying anything.

“Is there another tasting tonight?” Alex asked the employee.

“No, I’m sorry. I can reschedule you for another day?”

“Could he start the tasting now and I’ll go and come back–”

“No, you’ll miss the whole thing,” Jungkook said, reanimated. He pulled his ID off the counter and tucked it back into his wallet. “Ok, we’ll go. Thanks anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I guess it fell out of my purse under the table,” she explained as they left the place. He didn’t say anything. She couldn’t tell if he was pissed or disappointed, but she felt bad either way. “I’m really sorry, Jungkook.”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter,” he sighed. “Uh…” They reached the car and he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. She didn’t know what he was thinking about or if he was just trying to control his emotions or what. “You want me just to take you home? This is all kind of a bust, huh?”

“Wha? No, don’t take me home yet!”

“You sure? ‘Cause this a pretty fail date so–”

“Oh my god are you serious right now?” she laughed. “It’s fine! Things go wrong sometimes, it’s not that serious. Can’t we just find something else to do?”

He let out a deep, heavy sigh.

“Hey look, I’m sorry I fucked up the wine tasting. We can just do that on another date, I’ll book it.”

“Yeah but…”

“Let’s just go to minigolf or something–”

“I’m not taking you to minigolf,” he huffed, and crossed his arms and leaned against the car, and rolled his eyes.

And frankly, Alex had had enough.

“Why the fuck not? What’s wrong with minigolf? What’s wrong with Taco Bell? I don’t want to be a bitch because I know you put all this effort into planning all of these things but why are you acting like we’re suddenly too good to– ok, we tried this fancy stuff and things went wrong so let’s just do something else! It doesn’t have to be a big deal!”

“It does have to be a big deal, Alex! It’s our first fucking date!”

“So?!” she shouted, throwing her arms up.

“What do you mean ‘so’?! It’s our first date! The first date we ever go on!” he shouted back.

“Yeah I know that! But it doesn’t have to be like some big…” She couldn’t think of the right words. Her shouting fizzled a bit as she thought through what he’d just said, and how actually very sweet that was.

“I wanted it to be big,” he insisted. “Hoseok always took you on these big fancy dates, right? Yeah, I can do that too!”

“Oh, Jungkook,” she sighed. And walked around and grabbed his coat and headbutted his chest and let her head rest there. “You dummy.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about what Hoseok did. Who cares?”

“You cared.”

“Past tense,” she pointed out, craning her neck to look up at him from so close. “Now I’m out on a date with you. I don’t have this like high expectation of–”

“Of a good date? You should. That’s shitty, I don’t–”

“We can do anything and it’s a good date. I just wanted to spend time with you. We already know all kinds of things we like doing together.”

“Yeah but this isn’t just hanging out, Alex. It’s a date date. I wanted it to be special.”

“It is special, you idiot.” She hit him on the arm several times to try and make him smile. “It’s us. Obviously it’s special.”

“No, we’ve always been just friends. This needs to be big so you know it’s different–”

“Do you think I’m a stupid little baby? Is that why you were telling me about baby brains? I know this is different! You brought me flowers and looked all nervous and awkward on my couch!” It was more fun to tease him than admit her own nerves as she’d dressed and redressed and then redressed again. But the excitement for her had been a thousand times louder than the nerves. Nervous-excited, not nervous-afraid.

He sounded nervous-afraid.

“Yeah but–”

“I put on sexy underwear and eyeliner! The pointy way you said looks good!”

“I know that– I mean not about the underwear but–”

“So why are you being so weird about our date? There’s no point if you don’t actually enjoy spending time with me.”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded, eyebrows furrowing into the little V she had predicted. “Of course I like spending time with you.”

“Yeah? What do you like doing with me?”

“I don’t know, just… stuff. Like… but it’s just been friend stuff before–”

“I’m no expert, but I think dating is kind of just doing the same things we always did except we say it’s a date now,” she pointed out. “You don’t think so? Or are you worried you don’t actually like me or something?”

“I like you, Alex, that’s why I’m nervous. Pretty sure I used a word stronger than ‘like’ before too.”

She let that sit for a moment. Hearing Jungkook admit he was nervous was a completely different lens to look at the whole evening. Hearing Jungkook reiterate that he liked her was like, nauseatingly unbelievable. 

Ok, now she was having a harder time not being nervous-afraid because yeah, this was pretty crazy, being on a date date with Jungkook that he was taking so seriously because he liked her and she liked him too. Oh god.

“Are you… are you just cranky because you’re worried about having a bad first date?” she fumbled out.

“Yeah! Obviously! Jesus, it’s like you– are you fucking with me right now?!”

“Oh my god, you are so high strung right now,” she sighed and pulled on his jacket. “Jungkook! Chill! Are you serious?”

“I just…”

“Baby,” she said, and reached up to grab his face in a burst of confidence fueled by all of his nonsense. “Baby Koo.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled.

“No, don’t be grumpy. Look at me.” He begrudgingly did so; he didn’t have much of a choice with her holding his head. “Thank you for a wonderful dinner and for scheduling the wine tasting I fucked up. This whole evening is really special to me. The fact you worked so hard to make it special makes me feel really special. I don’t want to say goodnight yet, so I’d really like ice cream and minigolf with you.”

“Why are you so obsessed with minigolf?” he mumbled.

“I don’t know, I just think it’s a cute date idea and I like doing dumb things like that with you,” she shrugged, letting her hands fall away. He caught hold of them though and held. His fingers were cold. “I’m still allowed to like it, even when it’s a date date.”

“Yeah, well…” His mouth twisted in thought, so cute. “My original plan was to do minigolf,” he confessed. “And the taco truck. But then everyone acted like that was really lame and low effort so I wanted to do something bigger so you would know–”

“Fuck that!” Alex cried. “And fuck them! I like minigolf and tacos!”

“I know you like that but I wanted to like… I want you to be all giddy and stuff, you know? No one gets giddy over minigolf.”

“They do when they win,” she beamed. “You wouldn’t know about that. Since you never win.” 

His eyes narrowed. “Uh, pretty sure I always beat your ass. I can’t let you win, just because it’s a date.”

“Who said anything about let?”

“Ugggh but see? I can’t beat your ass, that’ll be a bad date.”

“Then let me win.”

“You’d hate me forever.”

“I wouldn’t hate you! I’d just be shocked you were down that bad for me– I don’t think your ego could let someone–”

“Hey, I let girls win that shit all the time,” he interrupted. “I don’t let you win because I respect you so much.”

“Yeah or because you aren’t trying to get into my pants.”

“No, but I do want into your pants now.”

“Well… sounds like you know what to do then…” She grinned and wiggled her eyebrows and felt full body relief. Everything made so much more sense now. She should have figured it out sooner that Jungkook was just nervous and frustrated that things weren’t going to his plan when he was trying so hard! But how could she have guessed he was this worked up about impressing her? It was just her!

“Alex,” he whined her name. She started to walk around the car but he was still holding her wrist and pulled her back. “We can’t play minigolf. Forty years from now we’ll be talking about our first date and I’m going to say I took you to play fucking minigolf?”

Damn. Damn that sounded serious. 

“Um, well,” she stammered, distracted at the casual way in which he’d basically just been like yeah we’re going to be together forever. “Well first you’ll probably tease me about forgetting my wallet and then you’ll probably tease me about being easy or childish because I wanted to play minigolf.”

“Ah, that’s true… you asked for it. I’m just giving you what you wanted.” His voice lowered as he said it, as he pulled her closer, no secret about the innuendo.

“Giving me what I want is always the right move,” she agreed, and lifted her face so he wouldn’t have to crouch too far for the kiss she thought he was leading into. There was only a moment of hesitation during which she worried she’d read him wrong. Maybe this just wasn’t normal yet, but they wanted it. He smiled into the kiss, giving too much teeth against hers, but she tilted her face and the kiss softened and Alex forgot to breathe. You know, just Jungkook, kissing her in the parking lot, nose pressed against hers, warm breath and saliva mingling with hers.

She overbalanced on her toes and they fell back against his car but he caught his own weight and towered over her. 

“Maybe you should go back to being pissy and mean,” she breathed.

“Huh?”

“You’re making me dizzy,” she admitted with a laugh. “I know we kissed the other night but–” 

Jungkook cut her off with another kiss that made her toes curl and her heart stutter.

“Yeah?” he murmured, sounding a bit breathless himself as his nose gently nudged hers. “Am I giving you butterflies kissing you in the parking lot of the wine tasting we didn’t get to do?”

“Yeah.”

He sighed, wine-scented breath warm across her face. “Can you please be a little more high maintenance? I’m giving you permission to be demanding!”

“Oh, I will be, without your permission,” she assured him with a cheeky grin. “You seem to be forgetting– well, I won’t remind you. You just keep those rose-tinted glasses on for a while. At least until I make you cry at minigolf.”

“Ok, are you just forgetting that you’re really bad at minigolf? Because I have not forgotten it–”

“That’s not true! I’ve won before!”

“Yeah, by sabotaging me,” he pointed out.

“Mm-hm and now I can sabotage you even more, right? Like… oops I dropped my ball!” she joked and slid from his arms to bend over and pick it up. So he had a nice profile of just how high her skirt would go. She was wearing tights, it wasn’t going to show anything but look, she’d learned a few things over the years about what Jungkook liked. He liked the tease. The suggestion. Maybe he liked it more than the real thing. 

She hoped he didn’t like the idea of her more than the real thing.

Also he really liked ass, so at least that was a safe bet.

He grumbled and demanded, “How many dates do we have to go on before I’m allowed to spank when you do something like that?”

Oh god be cool she begged herself because, you know, Jungkook had basically just asked to spank her. Jungkook. Spanking her. Just… spanking her. Cool. Cool cool.

“Um… three.”

He looked unhappy about it but nodded, “Ok. So you’re just going to tease me a lot tonight then?”

“Yeah, probably. But if you cry when you lose, I’ll comfort you. I’m not totally mean.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you a hug when you lose,” he promised. “I’m a caring date.”

“You’re a nice guy.”

“Yeah, I’m a nice guy,” he laughed, then tried to tickle and poke her through her coat. “I am. Sorry if I was weird or whatever tonight.”

“Hey, why are you talking like the night is over? You are still on a date,” she argued. 

“Right right, I have to make your dreams come true. Minigolf and ice cream.”

“And you,” she added, sort of without meaning to. At least the vulnerability of it hit her after she’d said the words. She just had meant to specify he was an important part of why she would like those things on a date!

But the thing was, she didn’t really feel vulnerable tonight in a bad way. She didn’t feel as nervous or impostery as she had feared. This was Jungkook! She didn’t think there was anyone in the world she was safer with and all his efforts and overthinking seemed to prove that. He’d taken on all the nerves for her. What a great guy.

He smiled, that goofy crooked toothy grin of her best friend, and said, “Well call me a dreamboy, baby, because I’m about to make all your dreams come true–”

“Ok you did not get laid with lines like that,” Alex said with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, sure I did!”

“No.”

“I did! Are you saying that did not make you cream your panties? What kind of panties did you say again–”

“Oh my god, just get in the car.”

“Fine, what date can I ask about your panties? Because I thought that one was ok since we talked about it the other night.”

“My panties?”

“Yeah.”

“You mean because you’ve been hoarding my underwear at your–”

“Woah woah I did not– I told you they were just mixed in with–”

“They?! How many of my underwear do you have?!”

“Get in the car, Song.”

She giggled and continued to taunt him as the car heated up and he looked up places. There was an indoor one at the mall they were familiar with but Alex wanted the outside one which was still open through the end of the month and served ice cream.

“You sure you’re ok with outside?”

“I’ll be fine! I have a coat and sweater tights.”

“Oh is that why they look fancy?”

“Yeah, they’re textured. Want to feel them?” she teased as he drove. But he took the advantage, letting his hand slide across her thigh. She got very quiet. His hand just looked so familiar and comfortable there, like that was his thigh. 

“Yeah, I like these,” he nodded. “Your whole outfit.”

She waited, then sighed, “You noticed I couldn’t get my eyeliner straight, didn’t you?”

“Well, that’s why you have me now,” he laughed. “I can help next time.”

“Look you weren’t the only one nervous, ok?”

“Yeah? What were you nervous about, baby?” he asked, still rubbing her thigh. He might as well have been rubbing somewhere else with that firm grip. The devil part of her wanted to just ask him to let his hand run higher, maybe a sequel to the other night…

“Yeah don’t act all cocky now. I know your secret!” she retorted and adjusted her skirt.

“What’s my secret?”

“You like me.”

“You’re right, that is a very well kept secret,” he laughed. “Please don’t spread that around. There might still be a couple people in town I didn’t drunkenly blab that to in the last few months.”

She sighed happily at his expense. Maybe the craziest thing wasn’t being on a date with ex-best-turned-best-friend-again Jungkook. Maybe the craziest thing was that being on an actual date with him didn’t feel as crazy as she’d always expected it to. Would that come later? She hadn’t felt mismatched on his arm walking into either restaurant like she’d expected to. Yes, he was the hottest guy in any room. And he wanted to put his face between her legs, so what did that make her?

Ok, that part was still a little wild and crazy. Not only that he’d wanted to but she’d let him. Maybe she’d even let him do it for real next time.

“You ok?”

“Hm?”

“Is it too hot in here now?” he asked.

“Yeah, way too hot,” she agreed, reaching forward to crank the heat down. Jungkook cracked the windows. She drank the cool air in and pushed back against the warm tingling starting to build up. 

“So what did your parents say when you told them I was picking you up for a date tonight?” he asked, throat clearing. It made her suspicious in two directions.

“Why, what did they say to you?” she asked, the safer question than: why you clearing your throat, boo? Whatcha thinking about? 

“Nothing, they were just acting kind of weird…”

“I told them we were going on a date date and they were just like ‘oh really? That’s nice.’ I don’t think they believed me!”

“Well I was dressed up with flowers.”

“Plus you were acting super weird too,” Alex pointed out.

“Thanks, babe.”

His hand left her thigh as he took a sharp turn and Alex wished he’d read her mind and put it back, but he did not.

“Let’s get your wallet, dummy.”

Fifteen minutes and one returned wallet later, he pulled into the minigolf parking lot and pressed, “You sure you want to do this?”

“Why? You scared?”

“No, I meant because it’s cold–”

“You’re scared.”

“I’m not scared, Alex. You golf like a toddler.”

“It’s minigolf, that’s the point!”

“That’s not the… whatever, ice cream before or after?”

“During. I’m ready to doublefist a cone and a club.”

It really was fucking cold outside, but the course was lit and they weren’t the only ones. The snack bar served them the ice cream, the employee giving them a raised eyebrow but handing the cones over. Jungkook hit his first ball straight into a pond and Alex got a scathing look from a mom when she shouted what are you the fucking hulk? It’s minigolf! While he shouted accusations at her That was your fault! Why are you bending over like that to tie your shoe? Your boots don’t even have laces! 

The truth was they were both pretty bad at minigolf tonight. Their teeth chattered and they huddled together from one hole to the next. They fucked with each other every single turn –dirty jokes, terrible impersonations, quoting memes and movies they knew would get a rise out of each other. Jungkook tried the same move she’d done in the beginning, even pulling his coat up to make sure she could see his ass, sulked when it didn’t work, and pretended like he was going to do a full on striptease –which would definitely have led to Alex’s premature death. Later she offered to suck his fingers to warm them up and he fell to the ground claiming he’d sprained his dick. 

And then it started to rain.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Jungkook shouted as Alex grabbed his hand and ran with him into the mountain tunnel in the center of the course. “It wasn’t supposed to rain until 9!”

“The weather does what it wants.”

“Yeah but it’s fucking with my date. You don’t like getting rained on! Unless today is the day we try the naked thing–”

She laughed and pulled him down closer to kiss his wet face. His skin was so cold. Their lips and noses were stiff. The sweetness of his mint choco ice cream lingered on his tongue. Alex stood on the railing for height and lost herself in the taste. She thought she’d be taking this dumb fantasy to her grave and yet here they were, making out in the minigolf mountain like the horny teenages they hadn’t gotten to be with each other. 

After several long, lazy, uncounted minutes had passed, they huddled together at the exit to survey the remaining distance. The rain was not letting up.

“Did you make it rain?” he demanded. “You’re that upset I’m beating you?”

“Uh… you aren’t beating me.”

“Alex, I’m totally beating you.”

“You totally aren’t.”

“Then what’s the score?”

“I don’t know but you don’t know either!”

“7-11.”

“You liar!” she laughed and tried to hit his ass. “Fine, we’ll count for real now.”

“Wait, what for real now? It’s raining!”

“It’s not raining that hard.”

“It’s hard enough!” he cried, then instantly laughed and wiggled his eyebrows, then groaned, “But I’m not, I’m freezing!”

“All right, let’s golf fast! Orrrr you could admit defeat.”

“Never,” he glared and grabbed his putter and took off.

The cheating was flagrant and largely futile. Putters were traded for kicking, rolling, and eventually just dropping the ball in the hole. They shouted numbers to make each other lose count. They were laughing so hard, doubled over at times as the rain grew heavier and colder. She really did hate the way her clothes and hair clung to her wet skin, but it was worth it to endure. This was a special night.

“We’re idiots!” Alex laughed, then shrieked as she slipped on a little bridge. Jungkook dove forward and rammed his elbow on the metal railing, didn’t help her, and sank to the ground like he’d been knocked out. “Get up! Get up! You’ll get hypothermia!”

Instead he took her putter and shouted, “Good luck winning now!” and limped forward, clutching his elbow. Alex ran ahead of him and managed to shove her ball into the final return hole just as he tried to kick his in. Instead he kicked her in the shoulder and shouted in horror. She tried to stand, he tried to crouch.

“Fuck!”

“Up up we have to get back to the car, we’re going to freeze to death!” Jungkook shouted at her, grabbing her arm. They half-limped, half-ran back to the parking lot, tossing their putters in the return rack without stopping.

“We’re such idiots, we’re going to get sick and die,” Alex wailed as they stripped their wet coats off and shoved them in the backseat. Jungkook cranked the heat up. “Fuck, I hate my bangs!” she laughed, swiping at the hair plastered to her face, poking her in the eyes. “At least I wore my contacts.”

Jungkook’s hands replaced hers, pushing them back, followed by his cold lips against her forehead, her nose and then her mouth, all one smooth motion that completely overwhelmed her. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders in surprise as he grabbed her arms and pulled her closer, like the laughter and running and cheating had turned into raw energy that he now funneled into a hard, desperate kiss. The joy in that kiss made the world spin around her. The windows were fogging up and she felt that desperation again. Touch me, taste me, take me, do anything to me, let me be the girl you want.

“Alex.”

“Koo.”

His breath warmed her frozen nose and stung her frozen cheeks. 

“Was this the worst date ever?”

She glared. “No! It was good because it was with me, right?”

“We’re both going to get the flu.”

“Stop complaining and just kiss me again,” she ordered, pulling him across the console this time. He pressed her into the seat, contorted, mouth getting hotter against hers by the second. 

“God I can’t believe this was the best date of my life,” he completely contradicted himself.

The giggles burst out of her, “Damn. Really? That’s sad–”

He shoved icy fingers under her sweater to tickle and she screamed and kicked the dashboard in her attempts to flee. He just wrapped his arms around her and pressed his frozen nose into her neck, squeezing tighter.

“You asshole, let me go!”

“Never.”

“Jungkook!”

“You said you wanted outdoor minigolf, you suffer the consequences! I’m warming my nose up.”

“I’m so uncomfortably wet!”

“Yeah baby–”

“No, in a bad way!”

“Love leaving a girl wet in a bad way on our first date–” She couldn’t hear what else he said, drowned out by her laughter. Someone was going to think they were fucking in here with the way windows had fogged up so quickly and they were shaking the car. She pushed him away and adjusted the heat and wiped at the condensation on her window. Now it was uncomfortably hot, and also her clothing really felt disgusting like this. The fluffy sweater was scratchy and gross. She pulled it away from her skin but it just clung right back.

Jungkook shook his head.

“What?”

“I tried so hard to make this date nice,” he laughed.

“Oh my god you’re so hung up on this. I’m having a great time!”

But perfectionist Jungkook. She should have known he’d have some specific idea in mind! He struggled when things didn’t go the way he planned, if he wanted them a certain way. Usually he’d insist he didn’t care and overcompensate in his frustration, make too much of a joke about things in an effort to be cool that was always obvious and annoying. He hadn’t done that! But she knew frustration lingered with him and she didn’t want that to be what overshadowed their date!

“Seriously. Please don’t remember our first date as a failure. Ok, how about this, what if we decide this was just a trial run.”

“Uh huh.”

“Our next date is our first date,” she explained, twisting in the seat. It was gross, her tights and skirt squished. “We’ll just keep having first dates until you’re happy.”

“Wait, but I’m happy. Don’t make it sound like I’m not.”

“Uh, you aren’t though, you’re the only one in this car who’s unhappy.”

“I’m happy,” he insisted, eyebrows going up, lips pouting. “It’s just not as good as I wanted to do for you, but I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m on a date with Alex Song!”

“Oh please…”

“I meant that seriously.”

“You said it like a joke.”

“I meant it seriously,” he insisted. “I want to impress you, you know? You’ve seen the worst of me for so long, I want you to see the best of me too. Like that I can take you on a really fun, nice date, not that I’m just some lazy, sex-obsessed asshole–.”

“I see the best of you all the time too, or I wouldn’t be on a date with you in the first place. I already know we can have a great time even when things go wrong. This date was genuinely great but even if it was actually awful, I’d still have fun with you, it’s one of the things I’ve always… liked about you.” Loved about you.

She didn’t say it.

She balked.

She didn’t know why she didn’t say it. She had expected the words to just roll right off her tongue. Because she did, she knew she loved him, and not too long ago she could have said it without any hesitation.

But it meant something more now, and the words tangled up behind her cold teeth.

She hurried to add, “I know that you can be both a really sweet, thoughtful guy and a lazy, sex-obsessed–”

“Ok ok,” he huffed, pouting he’d set her up for a zinger like that. He turned on the headlights and sighed. “I’d better get you home so you can put on your jammies. I’ll feel like an asshole if I really do get you sick right before Christmas.”

“I’m the one who insisted on minigolf.”

“Ok, it’s your fault then.”

“Jungkook!”

“Hey don’t hit me, I’m driving! That’s just what we need tonight, a car wreck!”

“Fine, you’re safe for now…”

She curled up in her seat and tried not to make it obvious she was staring at him. The streetlights flickering through the rain on the windshield cast spotted shadows on his wet face but she could tell his nose was still red and sniffly. 

He was cute. And sweet. It was endearing he’d been so serious and competitive about their date. She’d known him for so long but still she had learned something new about him tonight: he was not confident on a date. She had always known he had a gooey soft interior but he was so suave with women, she had assumed he would be all confidence and charm on a date. Instead he was a grumpy sulky baby when things weren’t going the way he planned. 

Her grumpy sulky baby. Just like she’d always wanted. Hot as shit on the outside, sulky baby on the inside.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, glancing nervously her way at a red light.

“Nothing.”

“Tell me.”

“Nothing!”

He reached out and sank his fingers into her thigh like a claw.

“NO! Don’t tickle me, you’re driving!” she shrieked and tried to fend him off. Fortunately the light turned green, saving her. “Rude!”

“I just want to know what you're thinking. I’m on pins and needles here.”

She decided to tease him more. “Well… I’m thinking I’d like to see you again.”

“Oh? Yeah?”

“Yeah. Maybe at our joint family dinner on Christmas Eve?”

“Booo,” he scowled. “Before that. That’s not a date, that’s a duty.”

“You want another date before that?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, I’m a really good date, huh?” she grinned.

“Yeah, you’re cute.”

“I was joking!”

“I’m not.”

“Fine. How about I’ll plan the next date. When are you free, is it on the calendar?”

“Yeah, it’s on the calendar. Any time I’m not working is yours.”

She didn’t comment. She couldn’t comment on any of these things. Because this was just mundane, joky conversation, but the fact they casually making more plans together hit her like a bus. Part of her brain was like yeah, making plans with Jungkook, totally normal while the other part reminded you’re dating Jungkook. 

He pulled to a stop in front of her house and started to get out.

“No don’t walk me to the door, it’s still pouring.”

“Yeah, but–”

“No, seriously. My parents might be watching the door anyway.”

“Yeah but…”

“Hey,” she said. “Save it for the first date. I’ll walk you to your front door at the end of the night.”

“Oh you’re driving?”

“Yeah, babygirl, we are equals,” she grinned.

“Did you just… just ‘babygirl’ me?”

“Yesssss,” she started to laugh before his fingers even tried to wedge under her shirt again. He kissed her before she caught her breath; she laughed and squirmed and it made their lips slide, the messiest kiss. 

“K, get out of my car, I need to get home and shower before I get sick,” he said.

“Hold on, Jesus, I’m dizzy.”

“Huh?”

“You can’t just kiss a girl like that and then kick her out of your car, I’ll trip and die–”

“Ok, I’m walking you in.”

“No, stay put.”

“You said you’re dizzy!”

She squeezed his face so full of concern, and shook her head, “Goodnight. Thanks for the amazing date, I had a lot of fun despite your whining about it.”

“Hey!”

His shouted protests were swallowed quickly by the rain as she held her coat over her head and ran into her house. She was right that Baba had been watching the door and swung it open to let her in quickly.

“Alex, you’re wet! Did you get caught in the rain?”

“Thanks, Baba, goodnight!” Alex sang as she yanked her boots off, tossed her coat, and floated to her room. 

There in the privacy of her bedroom, she covered her face and let out a silent scream.

He tried so hard!

He cared so much!

He was so handsome!

He was so awkward about their date and god, she loved him for it. Didn’t he understand how perfect it was? It was exactly what she had hoped for. The effort. The attention. All for her. 

She looked forward to teasing him about it for forty years. 

Especially the photo he posted to his Snap and Insta story of him with a towel around his shoulders, shirt clinging to his body, hair damp and tousled, giving a thumbs-up with the caption yeah everything went wrong but I got a second date so… Followed by a text only post on insta lol she ain’t on here fam she deleted insta a while ago

So he wasn’t talking about their date on insta as some kind of game or lure or to signal to her that he wasn’t still trying to hook up with women? He did it just to… share? Brag? Signal to women on instagram he wasn’t looking? Was he just excited about his date and used to sharing things on social media and didn’t think through the impact on his free sex life because that wasn’t a priority to him?

“Grrrr why are you so fucking cute,” she grumbled. “I’m supposed to be the cute one. Stay in your hot lane. ”

She DMed him a kissy face emoji in response to the story to give him a heart attack and went to shower. And afterwards had a good laugh when the stories and the pre-date photo were gone.

[AlandPals]: 😘

[TheJK.97]: 😎

[AlandPals]: take off the sunglasses

[TheJK.97]:  😵🪦

[TheJK.97]:  so uh when did you dl insta?

[AlandPals]: night bunny

[TheJK.97]:  that is NOT my petname

[TheJK.97]:  night earwig

[AlandPals]: night weevil

[TheJK.97]:  night shrimp cocktail

[AlandPals]: night nutter butter

[TheJK.97]:  night cheeto finger

[AlandPals]: night kookie crisp

[TheJK.97]:  night booberry

[TheJK.97]:  night pistachio

[TheJK.97]: night titmouse (that’s a bird look it up)

[TheJK.97]: did you fall asleep on me??

[TheJK.97]: I win 😁

Alex let him have this one. He’d earned it.

KEEP READING PARTY B

[mimissubway]

When the days go by

pairing: scaramouche x (gn) reader tw: bit of swearing, scara is mean, you're a masochist, a bit of making out, scara is a blushing tomato, they're high school kids so they are a bit awkward and unpredictable tags: highschool au, modern au word count: 636

author's note: this is my first ever time writing on tumblr ( i used to be a wattpad kid lol ) and I haven't wrote in awhile so please bare with me. Head full of scara

Scaramouche likes to think that he's better than all his classmates and that's why he doesn't talk to them. It's totally not because of that mean grin he constantly wears around the school. Of course with his looks, all the girls fall for his devilishly handsome face but with his mean personality he was only a handsome face and nothing more.

That was until you came to the school. On the first day, you saw his mean glare starring dead into your soul, but that didn't stop you. In fact, it made you more attracted to him. You're a weird one, and not weird in the good way. Your masochistic ass eats up that kind of shit up. A handsome man, with an attitude that can make you cry? You've definitely hit the jackpot! Yeah it might be weird to want someone to be mean to you but you can't help your feelings.

So you could find Scaramouche's surprise when his mean glare didn't back you off but rather made you start talking to him. He was weirded out by it but he guessed that it didn't hurt him to get to know his new classmate.

It didn't take you long until you started to develop actual feelings for him. You learned that he isn't actually that mean after all. I mean sure, he insults your whole bloodline on a daily basis but you like it, and you know that he doesn't really mean it. (Half of the time)

"Can you stop gawking at me?"

He asked of you nicely which was surprising since you were practically staring into his lavender orbs for no particular reason except for checking him out. (but he's too dense to know that)

"Hehe...sorry!"

You giggle before turning away to look at your biology textbook.

" Why do you always stare at me?"

"it's cause you're handsome."

Scaramouche has never blushed so hard until then, his entire face turned a sunset pink.

"Shut up, wrench"

He covers his face while you laugh at his tomato red face, even though he has a tough exterior he's actually a softy in the inside. It's usually not like you to be this flirty but the sudden confidence from his blushing made you take it to the next level.

"Scara..."

You looked at his face which still had a tint of pink.

"What do you want?"

He says it in a harsh tone.

"What would happen if we were to date.."

"Well, my personality won't change but I will treat you well in my own way, I guess.”

You were expecting him to tease you but the genuine response caught you off guard.

"Why do you want to date me?"

He says it jokingly but you took it seriously.

"Well actually yeah... I do."

His face went all red again and he looked away from you hoping that you couldn't see how red his face was but unfortunately for him you already did and had the biggest smile on your face.

"A-As if I would want to date you."

He tries to tease you again but it came off so horribly shy that it just made you laugh. Feeling bold you wanted to do the unspeakable.

"Hey look at me!"

When Scaramouche looked into your eyes, you leaned in for a quick peck. Your first kiss! His entire face went a darker shade of red but instead of scolding you for doing something as bold as kissing him, he grabbed your chin and pulled it towards him for other kiss.

The kiss was slowly turning into a make out session until it was interrupted by a teacher walking by. You and Scaramouche got reprimanded for indecent behavior on school grounds but the both of you didn't care.

It was all worth it, even for one kiss

[bytedykes]

What is ORV actually about? I assumed that it was like... A modern psychological thriller with a bit of queerbait, but now I'm seeing your posts and reblogs tagged ORV that are all kinda surreal and fantasy type stuff, I feel like I saw the word isekai a couple times? So what is ORV actually?

ok i have been sitting on this ask for a few days bc i. have no idea where to even begin trying to explain what orv is about

here's a post by tumblr user ot3 that does a better job of explaining orv than i ever could. below the cut is MY attempt at an orv summary

"what is orv actually about?" this is a wonderful question. i don't know. i did nothing but read this novel for 2 weeks straight and i could not for the life of me tell you what orv is "about"

the thing about this book is that if you're reading it, it makes perfect sense. the events are linear. there is a bunch of mindfucky bullshit BUT it all happens in a relatively straightforward way. i understand orv perfectly. but at gunpoint, could i put the events in chronological order? no. pull the trigger

ok. orv is about a salaryman named kim dokja who has the most uninteresting boring life in the world. this is a lie. he does nothing but go to his job he's about to get fired from, eat convenience store kimbap, and read webnovels. he reads a specific webnovel (twsa) that has been updating daily for 13 years straight. he has been reading it since he was 15 through his entire adult life

twsa is about the apocalypse, starring protagonist yoo joonghyuk. the day kim dokja reads the last chapter and eagerly awaits the epilogue to be published the apocalypse happens. exactly like in the webnovel. now armed with a .txt file of twsa and his autism superpowers he navigates the apocalypse trying to reach his ideal ending

orv, for lack of better term, does not take itself very seriously at times. frequently, even. at least half of the major plot points are comprised of complete bullshit. every few chapters i had to put the book down and go "no fucking WAY is this actually happening" but it was! it was happening every time! its hysterical!

orv is also extremely meta. every time you think "ok it cannot possibly get more meta, this is it, this is the peak" ur wrong. u are wrong every single time until the very end of the epilogue. it can ALWAYS get more meta. orv is 100% the most meta thing i have read in my life

on top of all this, pretty much anything you can think of has happened in orv. "orv is a book about everything" while an exaggeration, this is true. it really fucking is. it has everything in it. you know that poem by shel silverstein, "everything on it"? that's what reading orv is like

it tackles many serious topics (such as: loneliness, the desperate desire to connect with other people combined with the inability to allow yourself to be loved, finding the things that push you to keep surviving) and many topics that are. not that (such as: "what if a dumpling had a face how would that work", "what if gay people were insane and not even friends", "what if a guy was so autistic his brain started eating people", "what if a monkey was actually 4 monkeys" and more such things. wouldnt that be fucked up)

orv definitely. yeah. surreal and fantasy type stuff is a very appropriate descriptor. a modern psychological thriller is... also appropriate i suppose. "a bit of queerbait" is NOT appropriate because orv is built on queerbait but not in the sense of it being baiting. in the sense of it being canon but unsaid. like its not canon. but it is. its canon and it is constant. there is an archangel that ships said queerbait she is a proud yaoi supporter. this is a real thing i am not making up

on top of that insane queerbait. there is insane polycule bait as well. like i need you to understand that while its not "canon" in the traditional sense of the word it IS real and it IS on screen and it IS as explicit as it could actually be without it actually being, you know, explicit. it literally makes me feel insane

ISEKAI. RIGHT. im not really familiar with isekai as a genre so take this paragraph with a grain of salt but orv is more of a reverse isekai? the fantasy world comes TO the "real" world. however there are in fact multiple isekais-within-the-isekai later on. multiple types of them even

anyway orv is also heavily based on the theme of stories and like. god i hope you've read ot3's post because im sure they explained it better. its a very theme-heavy piece of media where the rules of the world aren't based on logic but based on how they can further the themes. its very intricately constructed and like

it will blow your mind. god. i dont even know what im saying anymore. its good is my point it is so fucking good. orv changed me. it is a very hopeful piece of media and i am sure that rereading it will devastate me even harder than it did the first time

TLDR: orv is an insane long book about literally everything and at least half of those things are complete bullshit but are incredibly integral to the plot. somehow. it is very worth reading and will change ur life forever

[xbomboi]

you’ve been invading my feed recently (/pos) and i just wanted to say that HOLY SHIT YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND AWESOME AND COOL AND AHHHHH

your content is keeping my eah hyperfixation alive (im eating it up like a five star meal) literally thank you for just. doing it

hearing things like these are what drives me to keep making this stuff. it means the world, really.

you guys have no idea how long i’ve just been sitting on so many ideas for ever after high and artwork that i’ve seldom shared with anyone. my friends would be like “you wrote/drew all this and you’re just… NOT gonna post it??? at all???” and i would be like “uh that’s embarrassing and also what if people hate it or think my writing is stupid and not good at ALL or what if my art flops” etc etc, plus the fandom on the social media platforms i’m most active on is pretty scarce to come by.

i finally swallowed my pride and went ahead and put it on tumblr because after lurking on the ever after high tags for awhile i did notice quite a few blogs active in present day and took it as a sign that i could use this platform to put my stuff out there. i think i made a good choice :)

seriously, thanks a million for your kind words. it truly keeps me motivated to stay at it with this stuff.