#but idk I feel like we can do better
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"Did you hear the stupid bigoted thing this known outrage farmer said? What a stupid thing he said! Let's post it everywhere and make the news 24/7 about that thing and make him the center of attention so more people can see the shitty things he said! There is no downside from giving the stupid bigot more of a platform!"
"What do you mean he is the president now. What do you mean he's the president a 2nd time. Nobody could have predicted this."
#bulletbilltime rambling#ok I promise I won't keep making political posts but this is a sore point for me#we as a people seriously need to start being more critical of the ways in which the world around us is pushing us to be outraged#and especially how we're motivated to share the thing that outraged us#bigots are popular on social media because they get people to share them from being mad at them#I'm just as guilty of this don't get me wrong#but also like... so many of these alt-right grifters are banking on people talking about them#the more ppl talk about them the more reach they have#if you spread their bigotry even in the spirit of dunking on it#you are giving their bigotry a platform and it will reach ppl it couldn't reach before#you are literally helping them break into a new audience#'oh but my audience knows I'm a leftist!' it doesn't matter#every time you share someone's reactionary takes it's one more node on the tree of reach that it has#and it's more likely it will reach the people who are more susceptible to their messaging#dunking posts in water on tumblr is like... a start at least in signaling that the take is bullshit#but idk I feel like we can do better#we do need to discuss and disarm the stupid takes but your clapback meme won't do it.#in fact memes and clapbacks as a whole are a godawful way of educating people#we need proper dialogues not fucking debates#unfortunately on a national level this is probably not gonna change bc the news love their controversial topics. it gets views.#so we need to at least start refusing to platform them in our own spaces at the very least#just. stop sharing the bigot. you'll live.#AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE DON'T TURN THEIR RACISM INTO A FUCKING MEME#yes this is about the haitian quote. yes if you are non-haitian and made jokes about haitians eating cats or dogs you did racism.#it isn't okay just bc you did it ironically#AND YOU ARE PLATFORMING RACISM ANYWAY SO WHAT THE FUCK#I am going to grab all of you fuckers and shake you around like snowglobes until you get this through your thick skulls#the post is stored in the tags#I hope social media explodes
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y’all we r not beating exorsexism and misogyny by calling every transmasc that pisses u off a ‘theyfab.’ Idc if they are annoying or have dumbass opinions, literally using someone’s agab as an insult is wrong and treating transmascs as annoying little afabs is deeply misogynistic and transphobic. What happened to just calling people fucking idiots
#trans ppl sound off in the replies I want to hear ur opinions on this respectfully bc like idk it makes me feel crazy#it just makes me rlly deeply uncomfortable to see ppl who generally have fine takes do this shit like cmon y’all we can be better#all saying it tells me is that ur just treating all the transmascs u DO like as exceptions to the rule#idc if ur arguing w the most annoying deeply stupid transmasc in the world it’s not their identity that makes them annoying or stupid lol#using someone’s agab derogatorily is so fucking stupid it’s ltrlly just one step away from calling them pussy boys or annoying women idfk#.txt#what’s crazy is the most egregious example I saw was some1 literally complaining about exorsexism. by blaming it on afabs. then posting lik#‘when theyfabs walk in the room’ to some ‘eeew it stinks in here’ audio on TikTok. saying they had stinky pussies. they were literally afab#hello??? the internalized misogyny is fucking CRAZYYYYY literally yall just regurgitate shit I’ve already heard from cishet men but act lik#it’s ok cause it’s directed at ‘theyfabs’ instead of women. Ok
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i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies
BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv crit#i do love the casting for the musical lots and lots though#it was really good#i do also have some nitpicks for show casting but they're largely inconsequential#like majority i very much enjoy and think are cast well#i only have one i'd say im actually disappointed with and that's Poseidon. idk he just feels. bland??? does that make sense?#like idk maybe it's the costuming but im not getting Sea God *or* Fishing Dad from him#like i think i kinda see what they were going for and i saw some gifs of him in another show where he plays a pirate and its like#okay. *little* bit better. but idk im just not getting Poseidon from it#in general most of the immortals in the show dont feel very Immortal(tm) but thats definitely mostly just the writing/show itself#not any reflection of the casting#my only other two are i would have liked plus sized Clarisse. i am VERY sad we didnt get that#Dior is a VERY good Clarisse though so i'm not too upset about it. i like her Clarisse energy. the yelling is fantastic.#my most controversial pjo tv take is im still meh on Walker. like he's fine. but like he's kind of Just Fine to me so far#its probably mostly the writing being bad but he hasnt grown on me as Percy yet. i can tell he has the energy though in interviews n stuff#and the main trio dynamic in interviews and stuff is *very* good. i just wish the show writing was better#because the casting IS very good but they have so little to work with. you can really tell theyre trying their best#i like to joke the show would be better if they just set the cast loose in the woods doing in-character improv#like its clear basically all of them know their characters SUPER well. id watch 8 episodes of in the woods pjo cosplay improv.
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i’m getting pissed thinking about this one person i saw somewhere saying something about Charles loathing his disability so there’s no point in keeping him disabled in the comics
DUDE??? 😟
i feel like him being disabled is so important to his character and being able to show readers that having a disability doesn’t mean you can’t do anything
i wouldn’t say i’m fully educated in these areas and i don’t know how actual disabled people feel on the matter but representation is so important 😭
i get really upset seeing “Charles can magically walk again” “He’s fixed!” things like WHY??? GIVE HIM A CANE ATLEAST I BEG OF YOU
do these people do this because its inconvenient he cant walk??? that makes me so mad honestly
i need krakoa Charles with a cane idc about them having his rebirth set from before his accident i need him to show that you can partially corrupt a whole nation while still relying on an aid
or even better yet KEEP THE WHEELCHAIR (not the banana one get a better chair Charles pls)
added bonus give Charles Xavier a gun. An “excuse” to finally get him in the field as if he can’t use HIS EXTREMELY POWERFUL PHYSIC POWERS?? MINDWHAMMY THEM OR SOMETHING PLEASE DO SOMETHING STOP BEING A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS
we need more disability rep please and thank you
gonna mind-whammy the ableists they don’t deserve their vital organs
me trying to defend pookiebear from the haters ^^^
#why are we ‘fixing’ disabled characters guys ☹️#i’m trying to figure out how to say something that doesn’t sound like ‘put this man in a life-changing accident’#i’m pretty sure i saw it being said on teitter so idk what i’m expecting from those guys#thats where the majority of users are scum of the earth#bro in this day and age 😾😿#i need to get a better understanding on what i’m defending so i can actually pull out some facts#aka read the comics and indulge in more good disability rep#how do i say ‘please stay disabled’ without saying something offensive or wrong#i feel out of place being an able-bodied person while talking about mayters that dont even relate to me#well i mean spread the word you know gotta help more people understand#charles xavier#professor x#x men#cherik#disability representation#Wheelchair user Charles Xavier#wish does not shut up#x comics#sick and tired of everyone erasing a major part of charles’s character
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Wait was there pussy on main?
Dangit
Lmaooo you all make me smile and I do appreciate it greatly
#you had me at dang it lol#like the wind the pic was there and then gone again !#whoosh#maybe if i survive the next few days or feel better even a tiny bit we can do it again#idk about either of those though ..#asks#personal
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I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
#like i genuinely think he would like not fall into the military if he was in modern times because of all the other things he could do#he clearly has a passion for tech and mods and likely would find himself more useful as like a mechanic like at most hes one of those range#types or something but I feel like people equate his seriousness and him being a military man to closemindedness when its like having to ge#a new view point like we really dont know what he believed in before the BoS if he believed in anything at all outside of selling scrap to#survive before basically having an army recruiter have him join one of the scariest factions like why is the BoS so fucking violent???#like the BoS operates in such a way cause there is no civilian population like everyone is something or training to be so they arent really#fighting for anything but themselves at this point which is just a feedback loop of gaining more power and is not equatable to real#military people due to the fact most of the recruits are really born and bred to be soliders while say irl you have a family and country to#fight for and return to outside the military which is def grounding as Danse wouldn't be in the army 24/7 like in canon#idk its odd to me when a character that is has fantastic racism ergo the trope of bigotry to fake races people try to translate it to real#life especially when those races have not equivalent like tell me what is the irl equal to a fucking ghoul or super mutant like????#racism is not like a funny headcanon like making him a defrosting prude or by the book is whatever but he would not be a bigot just like a#narc or some shit hed tell on me for loitering but I know hed tear apart each voting party and likely the military for being self serving#and like knows all about it and it makes him sound like a politics nut but its more annoyance like I have such strong feelings about#characters who would be marginially better if they were not victums to the military like yes I believe we can fix Danse he just needs to#be around not war/the military for like a week and see people be happy existing like he doesnt know how to do that but this is a weird take#ive seen mostly from white fans that makes me super uncomfy like ur weird#anyway still fuck the brotherhood everyone is so rude like damn i know its the east coast but can we get a little hospitality fuck you#maccready was right brotherhood of squeal more like it dont worry porky we'll get you out (danse is porky btw)#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse
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i get so frustrated bc like… the point of Smile 2 (bc i do understand this criticism of the first one) it’s not to just say like…. ‘oh and everyone who’s mentally ill is bad and evil and gross and hurts themselves and ppl around them and its hopeless the end’ like NOO you missed the point.
When you’re depressed or hallucinating or going through something insanely stressful, it can make you lash out, or make you impulsive and sad and scared, or push away the ppl who surround you. And it can make you feel like the world is laughing at you.
And it’s not Skye’s fault, it’s not happening to her because she’s a terrible person! And the movie isn’t trying to say that it is happening to her because she is a terrible person. But the ‘monster’ that lives in her head tries to tell her that, and tries to get her to believe it.
And the sad thing is that to a point, she does everything right! She reaches out, and she asks for help, and she tries to talk to someone about what’s happening. But there’s no one in her corner, and no support system she can rely on, and no one responds until it’s too late. And it’s sad. And it’s scary. And it’s a tragedy.
And that’s the point, I think. Does that make sense?
#idk this was what i thought#like the first movie did make me feel like ‘ok what was the point’ and left me disappointed#but i thought the sequel had a better take#and maybe i’m just stating the obvious but i’ve seen so many ppl complaining abt this and i’m just thinking#did we watch the same movie?#it’s not trying to demonize the mentally ill (despite the monster being. you know. a demon)#it’s just a sad story about what can happen to us when no one around us BELIEVES us#when we tell them we need help#and also what happens when maybe we push ourselves too far (a la skye refusing to take a break when she needs one)#but even that isn’t really on her bc when she finally BEGS for a break they refuse her one#and then it kills her.#smile 2#smile 2 spoilers#if i’m totally missing the mark tho lmk i genuinely do want to talk abt it
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starting to feel my enjoyment of cooking seeping back in after a long period of intense burnout that had me really slogging along preparing meals with gritted teeth for a good month there. i credit the return of this spark to the much needed break i took on our 3 day vacation that resulted in us eating solely theme park food. while delicious, in all its greasy overpriced glory, i found myself missing the kitchen. so last night for dinner i made heavily spiced chicken wings with crushed peppercorns and garam masala that rendered slowly in its own fat while roasting in the oven, resulting in flavorful charred crisp skin and a really juicy bite. we picked them clean over steamed rice with lime and scallions. i also baked a loaf of marbled pumpkin and dark chocolate bread yesterday for my neighbor as a thank you for doing me a favor last week. it looked delicious. the crumb was tender and plush and velvety, the spiced ginger molasses pumpkin batter swirling alongside the bitter dark chocolate espresso batter, with puddles of dark chocolate bubbling across its top. it looked so lovely i whipped up a second one for us to have for ourselves that's in the oven now, i think it could be a really good breakfast pastry for us this week.
#ugh it feels sooooooooo good to be enjoying cooking again#it was so bad the last like month or so i just#have been sooooo burnt out#it's genuinely insane what a 3 day vacation can do to reset you :(( it makes me sad lol#i wish that everyone could rest to their hearts content forever#i think i am someone who is extremely prone to burnout and i need about quadruple the amount of quiet alone resting time#that the average person does#so when i get burned out its like excruciating to pull myself out of it again#but im also the primary cook of my household so there isn't really time to take a break and recharge and find my joy for it because#we have to eat lol#3 times a day#every day#forever#BUT#i am feeling so much better about things now after making that dinner and baking a little bit#its feeling soooo autumnal around here lately too which helps#the changing of the seasons is so good for my cooking motivationg#idk#i was feeling pretty depressed that i was starting to resent cooking for a while there since when i enjoy it it's like#life-giving#soul sustaining#wonderful hobby that gives my life purpose and meaning#and it was breaking my heart that i wasn't feeling that way anymore#but i can feel myself coming back#writing about food helps me too#something about describing it#and sharing it with other people who are delighted by it#makes me enjoy it a little extra#sigh#i feel like im returning to myself finally !!!
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violently forcing myself to have better days
#everyone’s different and this isn’t true for everybody of course:#but a lot of the time we have more control over things than we can see in a difficult moment#like for example#a negative thought is inevitable and not something you can just stop. however you CAN decide from there how you let it effect you#it’s way easier said than done but you genuinely can be like hey I’m going to have a good day today#I like to set my intentions for the day and not allow my trauma nightmares to dictate how my whole day goes#but in order to do that I have to consciously decide that I deserve better and then create that for myself#does this make sense?#do things you know you enjoy/ things that make you feel better. take care of yourself. create little healthy routines to do each day#even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes#you have to act to make a genuine positive change in your life and circumstances#tried to say this as well as I could but I struggle w articulating exactly what I mean#like my thoughts are too complex to translate into words#anyways though I just wanted to add this- this post is not to make anybody feel bad whatsoever.#if you struggle with certain disorders and such it genuinely might be close to impossible for you to actually be able to have that control#and that’s okay. it doesn’t make you any less of a person and it is not your fault that you experience those difficulties#I just wanted to remind people that it is possible to control certain aspects of your life and it is possible to snap yourself out of it#I know I need to remember this as often as I can#that’s why I shared it#I hope this makes sense I do not know if it does lmao#(the tags)#my thoughts are so jumbled up. idk what other word to use lmao
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chapter four!! birthday cake all round 🎂🍰🍰🍰🥳🎉🎈🎊
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc#dpxdcbang2024#there has to be a better time to post this than today#ie when tumblr isn't in an all out boop war#and people aren't gallavanting with their halloweens out everywhere#but here we are#i am - and this is no exaggeration - not Feeling It#and i would like some form of validation please#please#pleaasseeee#before i walk out into the sea and let myself dissolve into the waves so i can be breathed in by fishes#<- does that count as suicidal ideation? i'm in that process of trying to get away from that language but my lORD is it difficult#anyway#idk enjoy#this chapter was a bitch#they don't even get any cake#the cake is a lie#and i'm going to bed#good night#(i have to sleep now before my sister tries to rope me into fixing her laptop and i can't do it i can't i have zero patience rn)
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reading a post s7 fic and it's got me thinking... like, y'know, maybe the reason wil and xand struggle with their partners is because no one really comes above buffy. they're part of the slayer's arsenal, her best weapons, her biggest supports. and why buffy has such people troubles in general is because she will always always save wil and xand before anybody else. cause it's them three against the world
#in parentheses with a little asterisk ofc this is excluding dawn but do you understand me#they're trauma bonded u can't separate them :(#it'd probably be better for them honestly but also it's CRUEL#I'm just throwing this out there bc I'm thinking about the three of them again#like I don't think it's accurate but I don't feel like I'm entirely wrong either#will has an easier time putting her partners above buffy but like. idk man. she brought the bitch back from the dead#that was pretty big#and we all know how xander deals with buffy vs his girlfriends#buffy can't make friends to save her life out here and it's probably cause they know the scooby gang is fucking impenetrable#like oh yeah you really think ur coming between them? lol. lmao. rofl even#and okay buffy knows they can handle themselves. but be fr#if one of them was actually struggling do you not think she would drop everything to help them?#I am NEVER going to be able to properly articulate my feelings on three I just. they're so important to me. so important#I am still devastated to find they do not have an official ship name. someone. please#buffy x willow x xander#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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something something guys who think of the backs of the girls they love
and girls who pinch the cheeks of the guys they love
#funny coincidences and all that~~~~~~~~~~#especially since both of the guys are associated with the colour green i m e a n—#i just really love how hw isnt afraid to have the guys fawn over and dote on their gfs#unlike many other love stories yk?#seeing the guys shower their lovers with affection is the best part!!!!!!#who needs emotionally repressed male leads when you can have affectionate hw male leads#even ‘cool’ and ‘mature’-ish guys like yu and kodai (to a degree) are super loving towards their respective gfs#and now!!!! we get to see nagisa: a cool-ish and mature (compared to like lxl) adore hiyori!!!!!#…oh. wait. i think i get why there kinda feels like there’s an narrative disconnect between nghy#hiyo is more of an idol series character (despite not being an idol) yet her romance with nagisa seems to be more on the love series side#so the way the two series are intertwining *now* after all these years of being somewhat of separate entities#(despite overlapping characters like the sanbaka + arisa and hina + sena) may feel a little wonky#juri is different bc she has p much nothing to do with the idols. she’s just in it for the vibes#but for someone like hiyori who’s super involved in the idol side to suddenly be introduced to the ‘love’ side of things…#especially since her retconned romance was with another idol… and all that old pre-nagisa novel stuff with yujiro…#idk i think the nghy romance could’ve been handled better had it not been for the [redacted] anime#…wait i think i realised something else. it could be a coincidence but!!!!! wait a sec#the dude from gamushara
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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thank you to all of the people who wished me a happy birthday btw🫶
#it was a hard week in general but i feel better now#i think i might still buy cake and we can eat it on january idk😭#i like ordering my cakes from this arabic place do not ask me what makes the cake arabic i dont know#but it does taste so different from other cakes like in a good way#and they let you choose a design and it's very fancy#it's usually my birthday gift and i only skipped t#i only skipped it bc im going through the worst depression of my life lol
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I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever
#we should do everything together everything should be parallel play#and then when we go our separate ways at the end of the day I want to still email him things#like pictures of succulents and a glimpse under the amazon river#I want to email him pbs eons videos#I can show him coffee shop vlogs and ask “is this u”#in person I’d mostly let him do the talking and decide what to do#take me down the most intimidating alley on a whim after you said we were just buying lunch pls#I want to eat lunch with him so bad 😭😭😭🙏#it’d be kind of awkward though bc he wouldn’t be eating anything he’d just be sipping his coffee#being with Kaneki is the ultimate dream I wanna see his morning irritation I want to be pleasantly startled by him with his quiet footsteps#& get to ask him about what he’s reading#or how his training is going#or whatever he’s doing#I would ask him how he’d rate vacuuming out of 10 and if he gives it below a 5 will vacuum his house#I feel like he’d lie though and say he likes doing every kind of work just to stop others from doing it#unless he wasn’t in a state where he’s able to actively think about others like that#he should stop doing things and jsut relax imagine taking him on a nice tour trip up mount Fuji that would b nice#stay in a cabin make a snowman clap for him when he skis#he was so good at skiing in the TG calendar?!?? who taught him to ski#did he read “idiots guide to skiing” a day before and absorb all the knowledge like a sponge#he’s so smart. I wish I was smart. or at least smart in an applicable way#I want to try harder but I kind of can’t#or I get sort of frozen by something and can’t find a way forward unless I scurry around it (no one wants u to do this)#I love Kaneki he’s both literally and kind of metaphorically half human and I am too so if we combine we’ll have the power of one full human#we can be human if we stand close enough together#idk he might not want to stand next to me tho he has better options#kaneki time
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...
#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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