#tumblr! why do you make this so difficult!!!
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Hello again to one of my favorite posts on Tumblr! Because yes, this, exactly.
I'm going to add onto this post as someone who's spent several years working through trauma with a therapist. Doing so doesn't make me an authority on the subject by any means, but it does mean I've put a lot of thought and study into it alongside someone whose formal training and qualifications make them an excellent resource. And it also means that I have experiences and responses which, while not representative of everyone, are nevertheless worth something, especially to those who believe in elevating voices instead of speaking for people as an act of support.
Trauma is a result of instinctive defensive responses that, put simply, activate your fight and flight response. The brain identifies danger, the frontal cortex begins to go offline, and the amygdala takes over. One of the major effects of this is on memory: when the frontal cortex is online, memories are formed as linear stories with a beginning, middle, and end (this is also why we tell stories this way, because it's literally how our brains save experiences).
Part of a traumatic experience is that since certain brain functions are essentially off, memories aren't stored as memories. It's kind of like if your memory center was a filing cabinet and every memory was a file neatly stored in that cabinet, then trauma is a folder that's left on top of the cabinet or dropped on the floor somewhere nearby. It's still in the folder, ie. you can remember the event and you might remember the beginning, middle, and end, or you might have even taken the pieces and shoved them into that format later to make sense of them. But your brain hasn't put them in the cabinet. They aren't filed under "completed experience." So then every time something happens that triggers that memory, your brain's defense response is to think it's happening again, and it starts going into fight or flight mode. To your brain, that experience isn't over - it's an open folder, and therefore its story can continue at any moment.
This is what the word "triggered" actually means, btw. It means your frontal cortex starts going offline and your amygdala starts taking over, because your brain thought that was the best defensive response at the time of the traumatic experience, so it's relying on using the same response again because if you survived, then it must have been effective, right? It's really hard to tell your brain that it doesn't need to do this, and that triggering an anxiety response isn't helpful. At all. This was a helpful response when we lived in the wilderness and, say, while you're sitting around making arrowheads, you hear a twig snap and then a saber toothed tiger leaps out of the bush and mauls your clan mate to death in front of you. So every time you hear a twig snap, your brain thinks there's a saber toothed tiger coming, and goes into fight or flight mode.
This helped when that adrenaline response meant your reflexes were quicker and you could run faster, and a twig snapping meant there was a good chance something was sneaking up on you. But that's not the case anymore, and your brain is just basically taking innocuous stimuli and translating it as a threat in situations that aren't dangerous and you'd actually be better able to deal with if you didn't have to go through a trigger response. One thing I've learned to do in the last couple of years is to identify what this process feels like in my body physically, catch it early, and do mental exercises that keep my frontal cortex online and avoid having triggered responses. It's been difficult to learn and to carve out these neural pathways, and to understand the whole process. This is hard, complex, grueling stuff.
So yes, OP is 100% correct and words like "trauma" and "triggered" are overused in ways that disrespectful and minimizing to people who actually experience these things. To be traumatized is much more than to be upset. It's to go through an experience that changes your psychological response to certain stimuli or situations. It's not just an unpleasant experience, it's one that leaves mental (and sometimes physical) scars. I'm talking about experiences ranging from, but not limited to, abuse, serious accidents, physical violations, etc. and not seeing a scene in a movie that you didn't like. And hey, we can even give space to things like disturbing content that replays in your brain again and again - I experience this, it's called an intrusive thought, and it's not the same as a traumatic experience.
Stop using the vocabulary of people with legitimate needs to exaggerate your personal discomforts. It's selfish and obnoxious and minimizes the struggles and needs of people who actually experience the things you're stealing the language for.
I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?
I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.
Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.
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Let's be real. Realistically, every time we see Mikoto it might as well be a different alter.
Does that make for an easy-to-follow narrative? No. Is it what the authors intended? Not likely, but also this is a game all based around perception and life experiences.
"Mikoto" and "John" as we know them are functionally made up by the audience (and thus Es) for narrative flow. Just like how ppl w DID irl are generally assumed to be "themselves," as in their body's name/main identity. Whether you're singlet or plural, the "you" in someone else's mind is a tiny piece even to your closest people. They see you through a special lens all their own, and these interpretations reveal more about the viewer than anything (not that that is a "bad" thing; it just is). Every individual consciousness is a different lens. You really can't know shit about any system unless you ask within the system, even w alters in your own brain. Mikoto hasn't had enough time to process his different parts yet, so it's wholly ambiguous.
Oblivious as we are, we've noticed a bit of friction surrounding how people view Kayanosys and tbh it makes us kinda sad; but the subject matter is touchy, so it's understandable. In my humble opinion, while they give us many clues as to "who's who," it's all still purely hypothetical. And it's fun to guess and theorize and even make shit up! You wouldn't do it to a real system but Milgram is not real; all respectful interpretations of 09 are valid in my book.
Personally I like the idea that he has more alters than just who we see, and I like interpretations of Mikoto/John/Kataboku as their own people. I also like completely ambiguous interpretations, and everything in-between bc if we wanna be Really Realistic, there's no end to the possibilities whatsoever, especially with as little info as we have so far.
This makes writing him So Difficult for me, but it only adds all the more layers to why I love these characters so much. I am so so sick of being a system sometimes, but it's a complex worldview that few experience and even fewer fully grasp. Plurality deserves to be talked about openly and with patience, and I couldn't be happier that Milgram even dares talk about them to such a large audience.
The reasons to talk about these things, after all, won't go away even if we do stop talking about them. I'm not gonna say "it all happens for a reason," but we certainly have words to describe such experiences for many reasons. I feel like we all need to stop being afraid of not fully understanding things. I certainly don't understand a lot, but I understand a small handful of things that many do not. Sharing helps us understand more, even if we miss the mark sometimes.
Idk. I love Mikoto and I love our little mikotoverse on tumblr dot com, that is all.
#milgram#mikoto milgram#mikoto kayano#mikotoposting#i cant speak for others and to each their own but#i rlly cant see myself getting mad at an 09 interpretation that isn't blatantly misinformed/disrespectful#even if it doesn't match âcanonâ#canon is important to me author intention is important to me#but the âmeâ is the impirtant part it's all very subjective#but yeah this is how i personally view/refer to kayanosys#i like âjohnâ as a distinct character bc he's Relatable and i like âmikotoâ as distinct bc it's easiest to bully him that way /j#and ofc i believe in the Almighty Third one#and the âJohn Doeâ alter being different from âNeoplasmâ john#but liiiiike we'll know for sure when we know lol
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Characters I've drawn so far in modern clothes
#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#karen jones#molly o'shea#john marston#john marston fanart#karen jones fanart#molly o'shea fanart#fanart#artists on tumblr#my favourite one to draw was karen#why is John's face so difficult to draw#I can't capture his likeness completely#I've been working on this for like a month omg#that's why John is drawn in a slightly different style#I want to draw the whole van der linde gang but it's going to take me 500 years :D#I had to study how to paint satin for Molly's skirt#I don't know why I'm doing this but it makes me happy#I made John too pretty but ignore that#Comment something if you read all the tags lol
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i hate him hope he dies
#i donât hate him heâs really fun to draw#his horns are so difficult though why did i make them like that#i should probably resprite the first one ( iâm noticing atleast one small mistake ) but ummm i donât want to#fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji#aquared homestuck au where the midnight crew are the kids and there are some other guys too i think#homestuck#homestuck au#homestuck fantroll#clover 04#not gonna tag the felt because its just him#fuck you the felt#iâve been back posting on tumblr for like more than a week and i still do not know how to tag#houuugh#i still need to make the other guys rest in pieces fly high#also is the first one really low quality or is it just my end đ
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leftism leaving peopples bodies as soon as a disabled person has 2 wrappers on their floor. jesus christ. you think its just open season to insult & degrade peopple for having an unnappealling appartment? many things are stained & discolored in ways that could only be fixed with gutting & replacing the walls & tile. there is not an ammount i could clean my apartment that would ever make it look not dirty. even if i was functional on a regular enough basis to maintain such a thing. but of course making the millionth "op is so nasty op is so disgusting your floor is so gross youre so lazy youre so incompatent" tag is more important. large swaths of my posts contain horrible spelling that i have to regularly explain is because my disability makes cordination difficult. i literally avoid speaking in any kind of larger public space because peoples immediate reaction to me is always to degrade & make fun of me. it is not a secret that im disabled & that i have alot of issues with day to day functioning, i have to fucking rexplain things anytime i make a post ffs because people see bad spelling & immediately have to ask "oh are you stupid? are you brain damaged? are you incapable of spelling properly? are you a retard?" its not a joke. its not funny. why do you think thats an ok thing to say to someone? why do you think its ok to make fun of me for things so innane & harmless? why do i have to make a post w/ miticulously corrected spelling explaining that im disabled to get people to even fucking consider that what theyre doing isnt funny? you guys just transparently really really fucking hate anybody who isnt perfectly pallatable & able bodied & you bleed with blatent hostility & disgust for disabled people the seccond you have to even look at someone like me just fucking existing. im a person. i shouldnt have to fucking write multiple paragraphs on my tumblr funny posts just to ask people to stop sending me shit about how they think im disgusting & stupid
sstypid ffucknf varity straw pack uneevrn colur dispritution đđđ
#tw r slur#r slur#cw r slur#r slur tw#r slur cw#i relcaim othr slurrs i do notuse tghe r slur ina reclaimed wayits not ok do nottry &relcaim it.#the beast speaks
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TMAGP confession, its perfect in every way i like all the characters + the amount of content we get per episode and never expected it to be a 1:1 to TMA, and being mad that the show isnt just straight up TMA 2 beat for beat is a personal failing on your part.
#its literally such a fun podcast i do not fucking care dont @ me#yeah audio is hard to hear sometimes but also they're doing something different with the medium and it makes sense why audio balancing would#be difficult to do considering how they're protraying the story#read the transcripts idgaf nobody gets made at ARGs on youtube for having glitched up shit that you have to constantly try to scroll back to#catch so you actually get the plot from it#tmagp#like you dont have to listen if you liked where TMA ended then just say that and dont worry about TMAGP#you can get literally all the info through spoiler posts on tumblr anyways if youre nosy and curious but cant get into the new podcast
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Vent art:
+ a time lapse if you wanna watch it:
</3
#Ecko draws#ecko doodles#this took me an hour#I'm sad#artists on tumblr#art#digital art#đźâđš...#vent art#...#my heart feels heavy#why am i so insensitive..#i..i love myself but..#man..#it gets difficult to do so...#i just wish i could genuinely care for a person and not be afraid of actually caring for them.#people make mistakes and that's what makes them beautiful.#why am i so judgemental?#so stupid#so very critical.#I'm.. sorry...#I'm so sorry...#i love you all#why can't i just accept that?..#i need to cry..
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#i have nothing of any real worth to add to whole âtumblr users try to raise the likelihood of families not surviving genocideâ shitshow#but i do wanna yell quietly into the void:#EVEN IF EVERY SINGLE GAZAN GFM ON HERE WAS RUN BY BOTS THAT WOULD BE GOOD & FINE! I DO NOT CARE ABT BEING SPAMMED BY BOTS IN THIS CONTEXT!!#to be hatefully disgusted by the pleading of people being actively massacred bc they are using a tool you deem annoying is so deeply fucked#like? yall really think that people trying to save the lives of their families by campaigning online with very little internet access...#...in the midst of genocide would see the ethical line you draw on the ground regarding the usage of bots? or give a fuck about that line?#does this make it more difficult to discern legit accounts from scams? sure! that's why the vetters on here have worked so fucking hard#but regardless of how hard vetters worked (at great cost to their own wellbeings) that still wasn't enough for these racist motherfuckers#it's truly so obvious these fucks dont think of palestinians as human bc if they did they would at least understand the fucking stakes#idk how those people live with themselves. hope hell is real and hot ig#(to be clear: idgaf to speculate about if folks are using bots or whatever it is 1000% a non issue...#...i've just seen it raised by dehumanizing fucks as if bot usage in & of itself was Proof Of Scams and it's so infuriating)
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If only GAMBLING could satisfy him. Oh, what a delightful thing that would've been. If he could see the thrill. But he could not. He always won, in the end, and so he had no interest in gambling. Not to mention - why would he be interested in winning money? He had all the income he could possibly want. He could spend and spend and spend and not even make a dent in his wealth. He had found that the things worth having, could not be bought with GOLD. If money could buy it - he did not want it. He only wanted what was rare. Unique. Impossible to obtain.
His demand for entertainment was met with Crocodile reacting like a wounded animal. He straightened himself up and crushed his cigar. The anger fuming from him made the air spark. FINALLY, something fun was happening! Crocodile needed an extra doze of courage, it seemed, as he downed his drink in obvious desperation. Was he attempting to keep calm, or was he giving up on that? Doflamingo had always found his temper to be amusing.
It was not surprising that he chose defiance. But, then again, that in itself was a form of entertainment. It was funny to Doflamingo, that Crocodile actually thought he had a choice. Did he not know what the word MUST meant?
â Fu fu fu fu fu. ~ Indeed, you are not my family. â Doflamingo agreed. He lifted a hand, the other still delicately holding his glass. His fingers tapped in the air. Softly. Gently. Like he was playing an invisible instrument. Nothing happened, but it was a clear demonstration. While he would not use his powers ( generally ) on his FAMILY - while he would not HURT his FAMILY - like Crocodile had just said, he was not his family. â If you do not wish to be my jester, I assume you have another suggestion for your role? Fu fu fu fu. ~ â He let his hand fall down to rest against the chair again. â Or would you prefer it if I ASSIGNED you one? â / @videcoeur ,, moved again.
#videcoeur#[ had to make a new post again xD ]#[ since tumblr won't let me cut legacy posts ]#[ >-< !! ]#[ do you have the beta editor? :o ]#[ TUMBLR WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT ]#[ also fjfjfjfj I'M SORRY CROC ]#[ he's walking a thin line here ]#[ even tho doflamingo is just :D having fun :D ]#Ê°á”á”á”á”á¶°ËĄÊž á”á”á”á”ᶰ ;; ic.#á”ËĄ á¶á”ᶰᔠá”ᶀ˹á”á”á”á”Êł ;; verse.
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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I started with posting about my autistic experience on twitter, reading posts on there, and interacting with people there.
then twitter got unbearable, so I moved back here and made a new account and side blogs to mirror twitter and lurk in the tags.
i've noticed a difference between autism twitter and autism tumblr from the big algorithm-controlled posts I usually see:
autism twitter makes me feel like i'm not allowed to say autism disables me or causes problems in life
while autism tumblr makes me feel like i'm not allowed to feel positively about being autistic and can only see it as a struggling disability.
the contrast makes me dizzy đ”âđ« it's like no one wants to see the perspective of other people when we are all different. each side wants their narrative to be the told one.
#autistic#actually autistic#autism#a little criticism for both. can we not do this đ#twitter is always âdont use your autism as a disability/excuse for why you cant do a thing! it'll mean i wont be able to do the thing#anymore if they know i'm autistic!â like when i asked if i can be exempt from jury duty because TALKING HARD. due to autistic#but on tumblr it's always âdont call autism a difference in brain. it's a disability and that's all it is because it ruins my life and is#so hard for me! stop trying to make it look like a positive thing!â#and like....both????? its both?! because it depends on the person and how they see it themself and how affects THEM. not you.#its both positive thing that makes me who i am and disability that makes many things difficult. it can be both đ#let people describe whats best for them and dont speak for everyone!#linking this to twitter too because both sides gives me headaches lmao#lee rambles#i know people disabled by autism want their storoes told. i know people not as didabled by autism want their stories told#but we cant just do ONE and push only that narrarive. telling one doesnt discredit the other. both are equally important!!! learn to share!#help each other. dont disagree and post passive aggressive posts about each other on social medias. ugh.#i feel like im stuck between where i see it positivly while it disrupts parts of my life at the same time so i dont fit anywhere#people tell me âif you want friends then be friends with other autisticsâ but i dont even fit in with âmy peopleâ sometimes#if anyone else noticed or feels like this then *internet ghost hug* belonging ks difficult :(
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If you love Disney, its parks, its media, and its merch, listen up.
So I work for Disneyland, and we are talking about striking very soon. So soon, in fact, that we've been hosting rallies just outside of the parks. Yesterday was the 69th birthday of Disneyland Anaheim... it was also a monumental rally.
I haven't seen anyone on tumblr talking about the impending strikes against Disney. Not even going through the Disney tags or searching tumblr for "Disneyland Strike."
Let's talk about why we're striking:
Cost of living in the immediate SoCal region is nearly 2x as much as we are getting paid.
Cast members that have worked for the company for long periods of time are still paid as mucha s new hires.
Disney has showed up to union negotiations with insulting offers, including at 25 cent raise. Most cast members make $19.90
Disney rarely schedules you. In some areas and departments, you are fighting with your fellow cast members for hours. I have heard of cast members who are only scheduled for 1 4-hour shift per week. Many of those cast members have upwards of an hour commute to and from work.
Disney Admin has told attractions castmembers [so: rides, rollercoasters, and anything fun you get to do and see at the parks] that we are losing them money, which is why they refuse to schedule us and pay us. In the words of my partner, who also works at the parks, Disney without attractions is an over glorified mall and a food court. Disney needs us, and they know it, but they do not respect us.
Disney has an unfair attendance policy. It can be very difficult to get a needed day off, even when it has been requested weeks or months in advance. When you do take a day off [with-out accrued sick or vacation time] it counts against you. You can have 3 a month, 6 in 90 days, 9 in 180 days, or 12 in a year. How do you accrue sick/vacation? Hours worked, which can be impossible with the scheduling practices mentioned above. (Most cast members trade shifts among themselves to get around this.)
Cast members feel unsafe and unsupported in the parks. Many cast members have felt threatened by entitled guests upset that they are following policy. Disney Leads and Managers have to say yes to these guests and make things happen, though. [Which only makes this behavior worse and more dangerous for cast members who are only doing their job.]
Cast members also report feeling threatened, or even being literally threatened, by management in the parks. Especially cast members who have a second job. Especially cast members who know their rights.
Further, cast members work in hazardous conditions with pay that does not reflect that. Many cast members report losses of hearing, sore throats, and severe back and shoulder pain. Cast members are also exposed to infectious diseases at a much higher rate.
https://www.sfgate.com/disneyland/article/union-button-contract-dispute-19515296.php?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR2u5o_mvU3i6jpIyHxBUZpEzD2GRSKFf5Pem4uRXqa6vKWDgZuffvINd1g_aem_AA1L0fI1phugJIluYMcDSw
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i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list
#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff#nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy#whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard#idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously#it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke#and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane#but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and#there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry#abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen#sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim#That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic#attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon#it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad#enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps#me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just#bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck#bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other#exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe#first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im#not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it#several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway#ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good#alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk#like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone#bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more#but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk#sui ment#<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know
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Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.
I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.
Yes. I've shifted.
I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.
I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.
Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:
I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.
So? Why did I mention this?
Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:
"Shifting needs practice!"
Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.
Though, is the phrase actually true?
No, not at all.
Shifting does not need practice!!
Here's why:
(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)
The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)
Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)
Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.
Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.
I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:
My journey:
I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.
A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.
First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.
Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.
Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.
Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)
I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.
I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.
Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.
A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.
The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.
LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.
And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.
Background to my first shift:
It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.
I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.
The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.
But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:
"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."
Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.
I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.
And with a blank mind I thought.
"I won't have to take any test today."
And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.
The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.
So the test got cancelled.
Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.
I decided to apply this to shifting.
Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)
And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.
My method and what happened next:
First phase of shifting:
When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)
I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:
a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.
b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.
c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)
During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.
And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)
So you can start the next phase.
Middle phase (optional):
To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)
This is all about connection to your DR.
Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:
My name is ___.
I work as a ___.
My age is ___.
Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.
(That's you!)
Phase three:
Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.
a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)
OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)
b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.
AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.
âïžWhen I reach my DR âïž I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.
Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)
Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.
(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)
c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)
Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.
And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.
Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?
So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.
And I remember I thought this:
"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."
(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)
And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)
I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.
I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.
So that's it.
Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.
And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.
Ask away.
I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.
#shifting community#reality shifting#shifting motivation#shifting blog#shifting antis dni#shifting#shiftblr#shifters#permashifting#respawning#shifting methods#shifting stories#shifting success
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STOP WITH THE NEEDINESS âŠ
wanna shift? let me put you out of your misery
This is the only method you need to induce pure consciousness/ tap into the âI AMâ/ tap into the void:
relax, deep breathing
affirm âI AMâ
relax some more
detach, get lost in the darkness of your closed eyes
youâre done, youâve shifted
there are no if ands or buts, thereâs no âi was so closeâ, âit just doesnât work for meâ. this method cannot fail, there is no such thing, at all, itâs you who focuses too much on the symptoms, itâs you gets upset when ânothing happensâ before rolling over to go to sleep just to endure another day in your shitty reality. itâs you who fails to see your own potential and itâs only you who can change that
this is the basic method that works for anyone with a conscious and subconscious mind,
itâs not anyoneâs fault that youâve decided to overcomplicate it
thatâs the basic fucking template you donât need shit but yourself
stop with the neediness itâs getting kinda pathetic
You dont need to follow some stupid 10k affirmation challenge
You donât need to follow any challenges lasting weeks
You donât need subliminals or waves or a guided meditation
You donât need to ask bloggers the same shit and vent about how you âjust canât do itâ
You donât need to lucid dream
You donât need any of this
again the basic template is only difficult to you because of the over-complication of it all
Let me give you an example: Imagine youâre a baker and thereâs this iconic legendary baker who has this incredible, world famous cake, they give the world a recipe to it and itâs quite simple. how can such a simple recipe impress the taste buds of so many? it doesnât matter about the how or why, it just does. But so many bakers around the world, including you, are scared of not impressing their customers so they add all this other shit to the recipe that was perfectly fine. And it just makes everything so complicated, all because they donât trust that the original recipe will be able to impress and satisfy their customers.
That basic recipe is the âmethodâ that Neville gave to us, he didnât have tumblr, he didnât have youtube to binge fucking yoga nidra meditation videos. He didnât have a phone to inhale subliminal after subliminal like itâs a full time job. He didnât have bloggers shoving 10k challenges down his throat, and guess what, he was just fine! Stop overcomplicating the recipe, all you need is the mind. You donât need a fucking routine, all you need is you
But I know there are some people who will look at this, scroll past and still scan their feed, scrambling for an âinstant methodâ like some junky. And to that i say, go ahead, waste your days overcomplicating the act of shifting consciousness, waste your days overconsuming, doomscrolling, complaining. The law and the art of shifting was always real and will continue to be real while you sit there with absolutely nothing, so go ahead. Rack your brain to the point of a headache, to the point of insanity trying to understand whatâs right infront of you, youâre only doing yourself harm.
shifting consciousness/ the âI AMâ state/ the void is a basic ability, itâs like breathing, just fucking do it
ITâS A BASIC ABILITY, YOU DONT NEED POINTERS đđ
#salemlunaa#reality shifting#shifting#permashifting#shiftblr#law of assumption#loa#void state#success story#the void#respawning#void concept#shifters on tumblr#the void state#voidstate#void state tips#shifting community#shifting consciousness#i am state#manifesting#master manifestor#manifestation#shifters
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I keep trying to post pictures here and the posts somehow fail to post themselves.. I've tried a few fix but the problem keep coming back, ngl it's really hindering my motivation to come back and be more active here...
If I stop posting again you'll know why
#just so tired of trying to post the same image 2 times with text and all only for the thing not to work and have to write it all over again#tumblr why do you keep making things difficult
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