#trying to get my life together... i think its working....
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HABITS TO DROP WHEN GETTING YOUR LIFE TOGETHER
➝ CREATING UNAUTHENTIC & UNINTENTIONAL GOALS
the biggest mistakes you can make when creating goals is making goals that aren’t true to you and making goals for the sake of making goals.
it can be so exciting when you decide to get your life together. I mean, of course it is! there are so many possibilities! but when you start planning, don’t just write down the goals you see circulating on social media. what works for someone else may not be what works for you. don’t make your goals and habits based on what’s trending or popular in the self improvement community.
think about what you actually need for a minute. what is actually necessary? your goals and habits aren’t here to be glamorous, they’re here to help regardless of how simple or small they are. the point of thinking up new habits is to improve your life, so be intentional with your goals. what will practicing this habit or achieving this goal give you?
when you’re first starting out, your goals don’t have to be anything too crazy or intense. for example, let’s say you want to become a pink pilates girl and get into fitness. you shouldn’t jump right into it and say your goal is to work out for 2 hours 5 times a week. let’s consider some factors first. have you been living a completely sedentary kind of lifestyle? then try looking for exercises that’ll wake up dormant muscles. your goal should then be to repeat those exercises for how ever many times a week. then you’ll work your way up from there. (it’s important we don’t harm the body, so be mindful with your fitness goals.) what about your schedule? how much time can you actually give to working out? can your body even endure working out for that long?
anyways, hopefully you see what I mean. when creating goals, it’s not about having the “aesthetic” habits and goals that you may see on tiktok or tumblr. it’s about doing what is actually good for you and what’ll help you the most with where you are now in your journey. so please put some thought into your goals and where they’ll take you. creating unauthentic and unintentional habits will also mean you’ll be less likely to keep practicing them after a few times. at the end of the day, that doesn’t help you achieve anything and you’re left with a broken promise you’ve made to yourself. which leads me to my next point…
➝ NOT KEEPING YOUR WORD WHEN IT COMES TO YOU
let me start off by saying this— if you don’t even listen to yourself, why should anyone else? (harsh, ik)
a HUGE reason as to why people have no self confidence is because they don’t listen to themselves or keep the promises they’ve made to themselves. if you have no self trust, how could you have any self confidence?
now, building discipline can definitely be a challenge so if you want to start somewhere easy, nip your false promises in the bud and stop yourself from making them. that’s what I did when I was first trying to stop this habit. when my addiction to tiktok was at its peak I would always tell myself the usual “ten more minutes and then I’ll stop scrolling.” when I wanted to stop making false promises, I knew I had no control or discipline so the only thing I could do is be real with myself. I’d cut myself off when I heard myself say “five more minutes” because I knew it wasn’t going to happen. if I wasn’t going to quit my bad habit, then the least I could do is be honest with myself.
the things that you are constantly telling yourself, whether they’re mindless or intentional, matter.
so, stop telling yourself seemingly harmless lies. unnecessary false promises that you know are false will only fill you with tension.
➝ SEEING FAILURE AS AN INVITATION TO GIVE UP
this applies to so many things.
you wanted to be consistent with your reading goals but haven’t read a chapter in a week? dont give up. don’t tell yourself that being consistent is too hard for you, that since you missed a week this habit isn’t for you. make your goal a bit easier or give yourself another chance.
you wanted to spend more time doing art but it’s not turning out how you expected? dont give up. dont give yourself the title of a “bad artist” and never pick up a pencil again. move forward, give yourself another chance.
you wanted to quit your Instagram addiction but after a couple days you went back to scrolling for hours on ig reels? Don’t give up. dont tell yourself that this addiction isn’t gonna go away, don’t go back to the bad habit because you slipped up. give yourself another chance.
I think a lot of us (myself included) tend to give up at the first sign of failure, instead of reminding ourselves to keep going. it’d be wonderful if you could get it right on the first try. if you could read ten books a month right away after not reading a book in three years. if you could watch hours worth of tutorials and sketch the perfect portrait on the first attempt. if you could uninstall instagram for good and never feel the urge to go back. that would all be so amazing, but it’s not always the reality. expect the best from yourself and do the best you can, but also give yourself some compassion. keep in mind that you won’t always do things perfectly right away and that’s one thousand percent okay. when you feel yourself slipping up on your brand new goal, don’t end it there at the first failure. allow yourself to move forward, because the only other direction to move is backwards.
#it girl#self improvement#wonyoungism#that girl#pink#dream girl tips#dream girl life#study motivation#self concept#self confidence#self improvement tips#self care#productivity tips#it girl mentality#it girl lifestyle#dream girl#dream life#hyper feminine#self love#clean girl#pink academia#pink pilates princess#studyblr#glow up#glowing up#clean girl aesthetic#healing girl era#becoming her#healing#it girl energy
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1000 Follower Celebration
I never thought much of my work so I've waited to do celebrate until 1000. For those who've followed and anyone who liked, commented, or reblogged anything, here is an event as thanks. Please know that this blog and those in this fandom mean so much to me. I read every tag, comment, and reblog and they make my day every time.
If you've followed me for awhile you'll know my writing can be slow and fickle. As a thank you I am committing to fulfilling the requests I receive between November 23rd - November 30th. After that I'll be closing my requests until I work through them.
Now let's get to it!!
Some quick rules
Pick up to 3 prompts.
I'll take individual character requests or something like "members of the 501st/Bad Batch reacting to" requests as well.
I will be doing requests for Clones/Star Wars first and then any previous fandoms I've written for.
I will not be taking anon requests for this event
Let me know what character(s) you want.
If you have them, please state SFW/NSFW preferences
If you have them, please state what gender preference you have.
I retain the right to not write prompts that are uncomfortable/extreme for me.
Tell me as many details as you want, it really helps! You can DM me too if you'd like to discuss.
If you've submitted previous request you'd still like done, feel free to send it again. Tumblr has vanished some requests and I've never seen them again
Please be patient, I waited until life calmed down to focus on this event but writing takes time.
Prompt List
My favorite prompts are the personal ones. If you've been going through anything and you'd like comfort, distraction, or in character advice from your favs, I'm here for you. It's been helpful for me and I'd love to do that for you. Be as specific as you want <3
I'll take continuation requests for previous fics. (I am working on Two Faces pt 3 and aim to finish the Hound drabbles from the past, so if its for them don't you worry, just be patient please.)
Tropes
And there was one bed~
Love at first sight
Hate at first sight
Fake dating
Locked in together
Aphrodisiac
Amnesia
Sharing body heat
Kissing as a distaction
Dying confession
X denying their feelings for Y until Y shows interest in someone else.
X teaching Y something
Carrying bridal style
Confessing during fight
Romance/Fluff
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“I didn’t know love until you.”
“You’d be easy to love.”
“You are my equal in every way.”
“I will never stop fighting for you.”
“If there was anyone meant for me, it was you.”
“You say you love me, but you don’t know me.” “Then let me.”
“They don’t compare to you. No one does/ever has.”
“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you love me.”
“I could make you feel better.”
“Beautiful.”
Angst:
“We could’ve been us.”
“I don’t want your apology.”
“It would be easier if I didn’t know you.”
“You said you wouldn’t leave and then you did.”
“I feel like I’m falling apart.”
“All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me.”
“What is it about me that isn’t good enough?”
“At least I kept my promise.”
“Does he/she/they not know about me?”
“You look exactly the same.”
Funny&Misc
“You’re family.”
“Bite me.”
“What a pretty sight.”
“Get over it.”
“I thought you couldn’t stand me.” “I lied.”
“You’re bleeding.” “No shit.”
“Do you believe in soulmates?” “No.”
“I thought I was alone.”
“Stop staring at me to distract me.” “Oh, I’m not trying to distract you.”
“I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this.”
“Are my eyes deceiving me or is that a smile, my love?” “Oh, shut up.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen something go so wrong so fast.”
“Do you believe in soulmates?” “No.”
“What kind of dumb question is that?”
“Don’t even think about it.”
"it wouldn’t hurt you to smile you know." “it will.”
“I can do it myself.”
“What a tease.”
“I’m hilarious.” “You’re traumatized.” “Is there a difference?”
“All this sneaking around is going to get us into trouble.”
LETS DOOO IT THANK Y'ALL
#the bad batch#tbb#star wars#bad batch#tbb tech#tech#the clone wars#prequels#tcw#sw tcw#star wars tcw#the clones wars#clone wars#clones#wrecker#echo#crosshair#nervous in the service as we speak
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Portal Stanley!AU
Hi, mom said its my turn with the Portal Stanley!AU. I have no art skills to accompany, but I sure can yap about it.
The Portal Incident
When Stan pushes Ford into the portal, he grabs Ford's sleeve, trying to yank him out. He's successful, but stumbles into range of the portal himself and is pulled in. Ford screams for him and runs to try and shut down the portal. Stan tries grabbing onto anything he can to save himself, but starts yanking at wires, causing the portal to go haywire. It explodes as he's pulled in, knocking out Ford in the process.
When he wakes up, the portal is in ruins and Ford has no idea if Stan made it through or died in the explosion.
He panics, unsure of what to do and realizes he'll have to more or less start the portal from scratch if he wants to save Stanley.
While this is all going on, a little ways away, Fiddleford is on his own, contemplating erasing Stanford and their work together from his mind completely. When he feels the explosion, he rushes to the lab and finds Stanford panicked and distraught. He hastily explains what happened and tries to get Fiddleford to help him build the portal again so they can save Stanley, but Fidds knows he can't. It's too dangerous.
They end up getting into a huge fight and Fiddleford erases Ford's memory of the past month. The last thing Ford remembers is realizing he was wrong about Bill and his research needs to be taken away. Fiddleford tells him he already destroyed the portal and its over. Ford, being injured and unwell from everything leading up to the incident as well as the explosion, figures Fiddleford is correct and just passes the hell out.
Fiddleford locks up the basement and locks away the memory gun away, feeling guilty for erasing Ford's memories.
As he's taking care of Ford, Fiddleford hides away any evidence that Stan ever came and puts his car in the junkyard, thinking its all for Ford's own good.
Stanley Enters The Portal
Stan enters the portal and is immediately lost to the space between dimensions. However, he has Ford's journal with him still. As he's floating through space-time, Bill notices the blip of the portal opening and comes to his location.
He tries to con Stan, saying the journal was something he and Ford wrote together. Bill says if Stan gives him the journal, he can take him home! Of course, Stan knows all too well that if a deal sounds too good to be true, it usually is. He tells Bill to fuck off and when he doesn't Stan punches him in the goddamn eye. Bill is momentarily more shocked than anything and Stan goes tumbling into another section of time-space.
He ends up in a sort of central hub for interdimensional travelers and is pretty much immediately arrested for not having any type of identification or trans-dimensional travel authorization. Is it fair? No, of course not, but when has any kind of law actually been fair?
Stan ends up in interdimensional-space jail, but criminals are criminals where ever you go and Stan is more or less in his element here. He charms enough people to get in with a crew and they eventually break out.
Stan gets some illegal documentation to keep him from getting arrested on the spot again, then goes on to continue the same type of life he was living before, just this time ✨Sci-Fi✨
I have a lot more on this, talking about how Ford and Stan's personalities are affected by their different lives and the various differences in relationships. Also all of Stan's adventures across dimensions! ...I would like to name this AU but I have no idea what to call it yet
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Don’t know if you’re still taking prompts but if you are you should totally write about ford eating out fem!stan for the first time plz🙏
hey anon! sorry i took a really long ass while to respond to this since i couldnt think of any specific scenarios to write this prompt of that wasn't just, you know, the prompt— but it finally hit me like a truck today! and also cuz i was sick and doing this in between homework djdndhdsn
anyway, VERY explicit under this read more, since i got SO carried away, hope you dont mind its the geezers pre-weirdmageddon in this one AND that you dont mind a little sex pollen also ty ty ty so much for your fem!stan request i love it when people enable me dhdndhdbdu also sorry to everyone who exoected a "read more" but tumblr hides my stuff when i do that so heres the warning, please scroll if thats not your thing
~~
"Constance, get down!"
"Wha—"
It was too late. Cloud of pink glitter exploded in her face and sent her into a coughing fit so hard her lungs shook in her ribcage. She drops to the floor and hears Ford's "Constance!"
Then she hears him fire his space gun. Just out of her periphery was chunks of blue goo that would be a fucking bitch to clean out of the walls and carpet, but la di da, there it was. There isn't a second to groan about that or the way her breathing turned heavy when Ford runs to her side, grabbing at her arm and forcing her to her back.
"Constance, are you okay?"
"Stanford..." Stan wheezes, turning her head into a hafl glare. "What... the HELL was that...?"
Ford's eyes narrow, inspecting her face, before his thumb brushes against her cheek. Stan shivers, a full body quake and confusion over taking her while Ford inspects his thumb. From down here, Stan can only stare because what else can she do when she's down, dizzy with virtigo from whatever magical poison that got sprayed across her face.
From down here, Stan feels the heat from Ford's grip, the pads of his fingers and the large mass of his palm against the bare skin of her arm, tickling the nerves underneath into sending sparks that go through her body and meet at the coil of her stomach. Even Ford's knee, under all that cloth and was much father from her face than Stan seems to think it is, illicited some deep, twisted something in Stan again she hasn't felt in a while.
"Ford?"
Ford's eyes snap back to her, blown and widened with alarm. Suddenly, he grabs her arm again, slips it over his shoulders, the other encircling her back. Stan thinks, alright, he's going to help me up, before a squawk rips from her throat when his arm loops under the back of her knees and lifts her to the air.
"What are you—?!"
"No time to explain, let's go," Ford says with all the urgency of a man on a mission. Carrying her out of their fairy-thing-guts covered living room with way too much ease, he sprints into the giftshop, ignoring Stan's confusion and dragging her into the basement.
It doesn't take a too long to find herself sitting on Ford's desk, trying to pump the breaks on the now doubled speed of her heart and the vibrations that run through out her body, working its ways to adjust to the surrounding. When Ford plopped her down and breathed the same air she did for less than a second, she felt it— ignition to an burnt out furnace suddenly bursting to new life. there was so much heat simmering through her veins, her nerves, every god damn thing was way too much to handle.
She's hot. Ford's desk and the glass plane behind her was cold, cold to a chill, and her thighs clench and rub together, onto the desk, aching for that rub of friction because she needed something hot, hot now, just as hot as her. Her mouth was dry, all the spit went on her tongue to her lips. Things— way too many things jumble in Stan's head, ranging from what the fuck is happening to holy shit, when did Sixer get that strong.
What stood out the most through was her brother saying he messed around with fucking nymphs, and all morning he's been hunted down by them. The one dead by their living room? A fucking nymph-assassin.
"Sixer, what the hell?" She pants, and oh God, she's panting? When the hell did that happen? Stan sucks in a breath again when Ford turns from rummaging through his stuff again to finally throw her a glance. Red hot heat crawls up her neck and she bites down on her lip when his eyes zero in on her squirming, her thighs. Stan might've thought she saw his jaw flex but, fuck if she wasn't also just going delirious.
"Why the hell were you messing around with those things in the first place?"
"I needed something from them, Constance," Ford answers measuredly, and Stan hears another racket from him looking for some goddamn thing through out his mess. "I've made an ammicable deal with them in the past, and now they're pushing for more. That's out of my control."
"I bet you backed out of that deal," Stan accuses, because it was pretty clear to them that Ford wasn't a god damn master of trickery or whatever. "What, you tried to swindle them for more of this fuck-powder? You know they sell viagra at the store?"
"That wasn't what I dealed with them for," Ford mutters lowly and, damn, if it were any other time, Stan would make fun of him. Stan would tease him, laugh at the embarrassed pout on his face, the bright red flush over his cheeks and ears. But she can't, not when Ford's back was what she's staring at, the broad, plane of his back and wide slopes of his shoulders, hidden under that stupid trenchcoat and sweater combo.
Where they could be ripped off and Stan could see all the things she never would have imagined her cute, nerdy but unappreciatedly handsome brother growing into if not for the one perk of getting shoved into a portal to whole universes of things trying to kill him. When she couldn't imagine him getting any hotter than he already—
They're back, those stupid god damn fantasies. They came at night, they came in the morning. They came whenever she and Ford would pass each other in the hall in their mutual agreement of no-talking, and his shadow almost engulfs her completely nowadays, and all she thinks is how stupid this whole avoiding each other thing is and they could be siblings as thick as thieves again.
Or even better— Ford could shove her into the wall and kiss her until she can't breathe. He could let her push that coat of his shoulders and sweater off his back so Stan's hands could crawl up them again. He could bite her neck, unbutton her blouse and pants, put one of those big palms to use and grope and squeeze around her tits, put those extra fingers to use and slip them into her pants, underwear, her, while Stan barely holds herself together biting at the firm skin on his shoulder.
Put that smartass mouth to use and say "Thank you, Stan" or "You're so good for me, Stan."
Get on his knees and put that mouth to even better use if he'd just shove down her pants, place his hands on her hips, nose against her bush and his mouth on her—
It takes a second too long to realize, but it happened. one hand slid between her legs, pushed the fabric of her boxers away to brush at her wet and even more senstive pussy. A second too long to stop that haggard mewl that came out of her lips.
A second too long to see that Ford finally turned back with a jar in way too tightly gripping hand, staring slack jawed at Stan behind his glasses.
Fucking great.
"Constance," Ford breathes shakily, and no, this can't happen. Their relationship can't get any worse, and sure Stan is gross for thinking about her brother that way, but she can't help that they're coming at the worst time, when she can't hide in her room far, far away from the basement and ride on her fingers to quiet cries of Ford's name.
"G-God, don't be so dramatic about it!" She says, sweat prickling at her neck. "You-you've seen me change and get naked before! This isn't that different!" Because there wasn't totally a difference between getting used to changing infront of your brother when you could barely live in one small space together when you were kids to touching yourself to them, right infront of them.
Right?
Man, she's such a sucker.
Shame is mixing with her already sizzling skin, and she needs to go. Take that jar-of-something to her room and figure it out on her own because obviously, Ford already wanted nothing to do with her and would want it even less now. Goddamn it, this would be so much easier if Ford didn't have eyes that were identical to hers, but wore it with that cutting stare that tore through her. Since they were teens and she was in denial about getting off to her twin brother who stared a little too hard— or even since forever.
Or at least if she wasn't still so hot and bothered thinking about him where she thinks she might've already came to his god damn desk.
Stan starts pushing herself off of it, face sweaty and pink. "F-Fine, I'll go. Just gimme that antedote and I'll—"
Ford closes the gap quicker than a lightning bolt, the jar already rolling on the floor and Stanford's mouth already crushed against hers, all hungry and desperate like he couldn't physically hold himself down anymore and their glasses knocking askew. He's nudging himself between her knees, his hands onto the fat on her hips, and shit, did he just moan? From just kissing her? Oh damn.
"Nevermind that. I think I have a better antedote," Ford says against her lips. "I'd like to test it out."
"Just fuck me already, Sixer, oh my God."
Stanford lights up, smiles like he won the damn lottery or fifty research grants or whatever. He dives right back in, kissing Stan, and sinking twelve nails into her hips as he drags them together. Stan groans, feeling the already hard tent go even harder against her, and her skin is on fire again, but this time melting the frigid parts of nerves into a liquid heat that's flowing directly down into her stomach, warming her up inside. Ford's hands move quick, from pushing the straps of her tank top down until she feels breeze touch her nipples to taking no sensitive measures to tugging and eventually ripping her boxers off her. Ford pulls away, and drags is mouth onto her neck then chest and Stan finally gets to put her hands on his shoulders, how big and strong he's gotten. One goes through his half greyed hair, and even when he was a teen she loved the dark, curly mop she'd pull into a noogie, but now it just makes him look better.
It makes her so mad, specially with what a grade A dick he's been. But she can't be that mad when Ford reaches her boob and takes a nipple into his mouth, nipping then sucking hard. "Shit—" Stan hisses, and there's nothing more to say than that.
"Fuck, Stan," Ford mutters against her skin, his breath tickling with the wetness on her nipple. "You drive me crazy."
"You're the one who fucked– ah– with Nymphs," She points out, and yeah maybe she could be a little jealous about that, but it dissapates when his fingers make their way into the warm, wetness of her pussy, just as special as Stan imagined it'd be. "Were– hh– they g-good lays, at least?"
"Not what I dealed with them for," Ford repeats, like that answers anything, and sinks loudly onto his chair, right between Stan's knees. His eyes drag down slowly on Stan, from her definitely fucked up hair, to half down tank top and tits hanging out, to right between her legs, and if Stan wasn't full on blushing then, well she sure was now. For a second it looks like he considers taking off his glasses, before deciding against it. Nerd.
Hooking the back of her knees over his shoulders, he smirks up at her again with that tear-her-apart stare again. "I doubt they'd ever taste this good."
Before Stan could respond to that, Ford's face goes between her thighs and his mouth is on her. If Stan thought she almost came earlier, then she's holding on for dear life when Ford's tongue laps at the outside before sinking deeper into her, sending shockwaves through out Stan. Moaning against her like he's the one getting head, like he's getting off from the taste of her on him alone. The flat of his tongue pushes against tight muscle, the heat almost pulsing, and making the wetness there grow more and more
Fuck, just Holy shit, how did he get this—
"Oh!" Stan gasps, one hand finding her own breast and the other on his desk, barely feeling the cold anymore with the clashing heat taking up her whole body, and all she can really feel is Ford's nose bumping against her bush when he only lets up for his teeth to graze against the nub of her clit while his fingers take over below. Stretching her out with his big, thick fingers, just so he could watch her like some pervy, old—
Then he sucks gently on it, and Stan is seeing white.
"Shit– Ford, I'm–"
"Just let it out, Stan," He says, still mostly against her. "You've been so good this whole time.
Thick thighs closing around Ford's head, that's what does her in. Of course it is. Her mind completely blanks out, turning to the white static on TV for a few moments until she realizes she's riding the rest of her orgasm on Ford's mouth at the end of it, while he laps it up like he'd die if he doesn't, like he's the cursed one.
Stan could barely register the murmurred whispers of her name and the movements of his arm from under the desk she's on until he's letting out a shuddering breath, forehead against her belly. Stan couldn't help the grin lighting up her face then.
Great, at least she's not the only one.
Just like that, the heat... doesn't really leave. Just wrapped around her cozily like the trenchcoat Ford threw over her when he finally stands up, only to drag Stan back on his lap. She's not getting used to that thirty years long honed strength anytime soon.
"Suppose I have a new more effective measures now," Ford says, lips finding Stan's, and she could taste herself on there, passed like a secret.
She's not getting used with this affection either, but Stan wants to see Ford try.
They stay a couple of moments there basking in this glow, until Stan peers up again, scratching the back of her neck when realization hits her.
"Hey, Sixer... you're the one cleaning that carpet upstairs, right?"
#is this any at all accurate to actual nymph behavior?? probably not how would ik dudnud#also fucking MURDER warning holy shit#but thats not the point of this lmao#inside you there are two wolves#ford ate out a whole bunch of things while in other dimensions so jes skilled af#or#ford doesnt know what hes doing hes just so enthusiastic it gets stan all hot and bothered#stancest#ask#fem!stan#ficlet#my writing#sex pollen stufff came to me like a damn bat i HAD to write it in#nsft
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LOSING MY MIND RNNN- you just encapsulated one of the plots that was stringing in my head after typing this out
I AM DESTROYEEEDDDDD (tysm for bridging onto this btw i love it sm<33)
I really really like the last paragraph and lines too, about how the (reader) is always finding subconscious ways to fix the severed tie and the boys get frustrated at how (reader) is hurting more because of it.
They DO want to help, but at the same time don’t want to force the bond either— they want to naturally and slowly build it with you but can’t find the courage to break or say to your face that the current one you’ve been building with another person just isn’t working.
At first, they’ll try to subtly make it known to you that you could be a part of their relationship. Starting off with a friendly banter, eating meals together— just so you could get to know them and you get to be comfortable with them.
They try so hard to keep you away from said friend, coming up with excuses of- “oh I need your help with training,” or “can you check the reports I made?” They are coming up with excuses and excuses, scenarios after scenarios, just so you could avoid getting tied up with someone who didn’t deserve you in their life.
You’re so patient, trying to make your “current” relationship work— but its not.
You open up about this to the friend, and it just all goes wrong.
So wrong that the guys needed to intervene, treat you at the infirmary, and comfort how even more broken you were.
Admitting that you will never find that bond you had in previous life because you were so broken.
Unfixable and unloveable.
And it wasn’t even your fault! You were forced into this position, born with this unfortunate fate with no one to guide you.
So, they think- enough is enough.
If there was a moment they needed the balls to be there for their last soulmate, it had to be now.
From then on, I’d like to think the healing journey starts there.
Instead of you being patient with others, they are with you— handling all of your frustrations and depression with care, pulling you out of the pit you throw yourself in every time.
The guys are trying their best, but it gets too much for them as well and it is just too hard to heal a bond that can’t be fixed.
Though, when they see you crying for the umpteenth time in Simon’s arms, looking for the warmth of a bond when you connect with them emotionally— they realize that giving up is not an option.
This whole thing is just a constant back and forth but with its own baby steps to getting better.
Knowing that you have better navigators by your side now— maybe that tethered rope would be able to weave again.
Another one of my wild dreams coming to me, I swear the voices are having too much fun when I’m unconscious, where its the usual Soulmate-Reincarnation trope but the Tf 141 guys always get to meet each other but…you.
Every. Single. Time.
In each new life, they’d always happen to meet, but nearing the end of theirs— a longing always seem to linger in their hearts. Pieces of their memory always missing with a piece of their soul not being fulfilled.
At first, they don’t notice it— it was already rare enough to have 4 soulmates all tied together. So, to think of another partner being somewhere out there? Yeah, that was outrageous.
They were already thankful enough that they had each other, how could they still feel so greedy and longing?
We’re they not enough for each other?
What was lacking? What were they lacking?
When then they hear murmurs of soulmates being together, they all said they’ll feel something snap into place.
They think its the soulmate bond being locked into place, their soul finally complete and fates intertwined.
Yet… they only got to the first couple of steps to that. Seeing that zing in each other’s eyes that recognizes each other as soulmates, the bonding ritual, the return of past life memories…
Every time they get to that point, they’d remember that something was just… missing.
So they try, in each life to the next, to find some way to fix that last piece into place— test out all their theories.
What if there was something wrong that they did? Were they truly partners? What if one wasn’t their mate with the other?
It wasn’t until Price offered the idea that there may be… a fifth person… involved that their tactics changed.
But they never got lucky.
How come it was so easy to find each other but not…you?
They were just about to give up in this timeline, their lives being ran rugged in the military made their hearts weak and souls crushed already— why would they make the extra effort when they already had the partners they wanted right besides them?
But they regret saying that, bringing it up and believing in it when that familiar zing rings across their brains and underneath their skins as they see you— fresh eyed recruit sent right to their team.
It was like their prayers have finally been answered, all the sacrifices their past selves made now coming to fruition—
But you see no zing- you’ve never had one.
That must be another reason why you always happen to miss them- whether it be through an early death, a bad relationship, an unfortunate event, living across the country from them.
But no, you were always right near them. You just couldn’t find them like they did with each other.
It just didn’t click until now for you and they are distraught for you.
They are so happy, souls now complete and their memories as well— but you had nothing.
That feeling of wholeness and unconditional love— you couldn’t feel it.
So they swear, that from then on, they’d always find you next— no matter how many times they’d repeat it, all the struggles and pain, it was incomparable to you who felt nothing from a forced severed soul bond.
My sleepi and awake mind are cooking but im not in the kitchen- send help what the
Masterlist here! Prev dream idea i was talkin about here- its becoming a saga oml
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feel sooooo excited the dd storybook is almost here like theres actually a set deadline (in 2 weeks) and a week after that deadline ill get it shipped off for test prints and if the prototypes are good i can look into selling them. but the point is the storybook will be real!! my first self-published book!!! this is huge!!!
#yeah its a storybook about cubitos but who cares#ive showed the current pdf to my irls and they all think its really cool and proud of me for this project too!!!#they know making a picture book is my no.1 dream since forever!!!!#trying to get my life together... i think its working....#well that is until i finish the book cover which ive been procrastinating because i keep spending time goofing around with friends whoops#those acnh/stardew/mc hangouts are such killer my past few weeks has just been those LOL#烤鱼#SORRY i needed to gush about this somewhere. smiles and walks into a low hanging branch and passes out#EDIT: I FORGOT TO MENTION THE KEYCHAIN DRAFTS??? COMING SOON ??? 💥💥💥 i still need to finalize those designs but WOW!!#the new dd keychain sets... THE MUMBO KEYCHAINS that im gonna make as a revenge on J (j if you see this this is on you)#the boatem standee i really wanna make.... the list goes on...
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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"Chuuya. Come to your senses. Our fate will not end in a place like this. Because you and I are destined to—"
@/kedreeva// ernest hemingway - the old man and the sea// death cab for cutie - summer years// unknown// unknown// lidia yuknavitch - the chronology of water: a memoir// richard siken - saying your names// taylor swift - gorgeous// unknown// victor hugo - les miserables// jeanette winterson - lighthousekeeping// sylvia Plath - lady lazarus// margaret atwood - power politics// tory adkisson - Anecdote of the Pig//richard siken - planet of love, wishbone// ethel cain - hard times// margaret atwood - variations on the word love
#web weaving#quotes#skk#i'll be so honest this was so much work for someone who doesn't think dazai is dead but i also cannot resist angst this good#bungou stray dogs#dazai and the idea of destiny#hot take dazai is actually so full of love & hope & he just hides it & thats why its so easy for life to get to him#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#dazai x chuuya#richard siken#poems and quotes#also he was totally going to say die together i just know it hes infuriating#they're soulmates your honor#bsd 109#my first one of these ever#theres just something about dazai and chuuya being doomed by the narrative#this man thinks about his fate & how he wants to die but he's trying to live my god#all of these make sense in my head#the parallel of their meeting with this chapter also ???? hello?#bsd spoilers
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chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment
#this isnt xmen related but it can be if i try#i think enjoying james mcavoy comes with the territory of being a cherik enjoyer vjaeLKe thems just the strokes i dont make the rules#snap chats#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i was lying but it wasnt in bed i fear fjaELKEJ#no my prof has our assignments due at 8AM so i do them the night before WHATEVER its just reading news articles#and they put this ad at the bottom and i was term searching and i got jumpscared when the page jumped right to it#i saw the movie opening night and it was. the goofiest thing. the movie partially but My Night Mostly#cause at the beginning of the week i told my ma i was going to see it and she- trying to be a mother for the first time- was like#'oh we should watch it together :)' but as the time approaches she's like 'i mean do we HAAVE to watch it horror's traumatizing....'#im so glad i didnt go with my mom i know she woulda soured the whole thing for me she hates me and everything i love#like miss ma'am go AWAY i just went with my brother and the theater was virtually empty so we kept crackin jokes jvlkeakj#I STILL GENUINELY ENJOYED THE MOVIE THOUGH i should watch the og sometime but this was a good watch .... a fun one even...#this movie solidified the fact i love it when james plays- as he says- 'devilish' characters it is ACTUALLY primo to my life#so funny cause my bro and i still crack jokes about and reference it i didnt think he'd care bout it after we left but vjlkjlkja#ok im goig to bed for real now im tired and i wanna get up early to do work BYE
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please can we have more jimmy and impulse.
collabs, streams, heck even a life series team
i just really really want to call them jimpulse
#fdgnjmg#please#i need the punnage in my life#i also think.. jimmys quite similar to skizz?#(so they'd probably get along sorry forgot to finish that thought)#but at the same time#his humour is different#so when hes with people who hes newer to it seems almost like he's..#i dont want to say trying too hard but his humour sometimes doesn't have a place with them? or doesn't hit as well? or something?#and impulse can be like that too sometimes?#cause hes always trying to get better at improv-ing interactions#and hes always changing stuff to improve be it tech or editing#so i think...#idk they both put a lot of effort in and sometimes depending on what group they're in it isn't fully appreciated?#that got a little bit analyzy#tldr: i like them and think they need to work together more often#jimmy solidarity#impulsesv#jimpulse#<leaving it right there#its a good pun#guess the build#build and seek#life series#pixls things
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If they brought Andrew Garfield Spider-Man back they could do movie Spideypool… think about it
#aaronymous ramblings#spiderman#spider-man#tasm#peter parker#andrew garfield#the amazing spider-man#wade wilson#deadpool#spideypool#using my autism powers to beam the image to you in my head#i think the actors would work well together too it would be funny#tom peter is like a baby boy so he and deadpool ARE NOT A SHIP#however.#andrew peter? that could work#tobey couldnt though hes currently divorcing his wife ( idc if its not canon he is hes trying to get a healthy life before he retires )
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#punk hazard#ch659#so i've been. obsessed. with mahoyaku recently.#literally taking a break from reading it rn to work on my queue here bc i want to keep it up#but its soooooo...#you should read it if you like gay wizards#its a fantasy isekai the player is a sage that oversees a group of 21 wizards#(well. 20. one is a ghost hanging onto life. it makes sense i prommy)#who are there to Fight The Moon once a year and keep it from destroying the world#and the last fight with the moon was really bad it killed literally half of the sage's wizards#so the player. the new sage. decides to try something new and bring the wizards to live in the sage's magic house.#well its not their house its got a name but u get it#and its basically trying to make the wizards get along and not kill each other so that they can work together#to not have such a disastrous fight with the moon#if you like sanji i think you might like nero one of the eastern wizards.#and bradley too. bradnero...#okay anyway back to filling my queue but read mahoyaku okay
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So I went to the wiki page for the henghill Bullet & Brain mission of 2.2 looking for some dialogue I had missed and
a) I found something incredibly tasty that slotted into some other thoughts I'd been having, more on that on another day, and
b) I saw this super fun little trivia at the bottom, which!
I knew Penacony characters like Boothill took a lot of inspirations from old movies, but I didn't realize it was even in his and Dan Heng's relationship, that's so cool!!
It fits them very well, it's such a fun reference. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" was an old buddy Western film (from 1969- nice) about a pair of outlaws. Butch Cassidy was the leader of a gang, and described as clever, affable, and talkative. Meanwhile, his closest companion, the Sundance Kid, was known as a man of few words.
Cassidy's original birth name was much more plain, but similar to Boothill, he took on a new moniker when he became an outlaw. "Cassidy" had been the last name of his beloved mentor, who taught him how to shoot and ride. And Sundance Kid was known as he was because Sundance was the name of his hometown, and it was the only place that had ever managed to catch and jail him, back when he'd been younger (also similar to Dan Heng, but ouch).
These two stick together like glue throughout the length of the film- through Cassidy's leadership of the gang being challenged, through a train robbery gone wrong, through being pursued by mercenaries, and even through fleeing to Bolivia and trying to start over together.
I don't want to say too much more, since the mission title is referencing one specific movie that I've never seen. I kinda wanna watch it now, though, just to see the inspiration that went into Boothill and Dan Heng and how they get along. I just think it's really sweet that these two were literally made to be the best of bros, how lovely is that. 💕
#honkai star rail#this can be ship or plantonic tbh yall are always free to tag my ramblings as you please haha#just! they're so sweet!!#FWENDS#i would love to see more of them being a dynamic duo further down the line ♡#i think the film moved things along a little quicker but the real life Cassidy and Sundance were actually in south america for a few years#they fled there to get away from pursuers along with Sundance's girlfriend Etta Place.#supposedly they managed to buy a small ranch and the three of them lived peacefully (and even lawfully!) together for like three years-#-until the law caught up with them again#at some point Etta Place returned to the US reportedly due to illness rather than not wanting to get caught like in the film#Sundance may or may not have escorted her back. but whether he did or not he returned to South America with Cassidy#the two of them eventually got into a huge firefight with authorities where Sundance was fatally shot and Cassidy chose to end his own life#that's the most common story anyway. some also say Cassidy snuck back into the US again where he lived quietly until his death.#but it reads kind of like rumors of Elvis Presley sightings to me BSMZKNSKS#the film ended much more happily with the two of them getting into shenanigans and a freeze frame of them in a hail of bullets haha#i wanna see Dan Heng and Boothill fight together too it would be so cool aaaaaa#they would be great at getting into shenanigans! as we've already seen!!#fun bonus info: Boothill's ult literally puts black bars at the top and bottom of the screen to look like a widescreen Western movie#fun bonus info 2: Cassidy was regarded with respect by some people bc he never stole from the poor he only robbed big companies#this is actually nicer than Boothill is in canon bc he openly admits he will rob someone blind if he doesn't like them BSKZKKZMSKDK#(although I feel like its implied he has more standards for this than he gives himself credit for.#like he makes it pretty clear he doesn't particularly like Argenti at first and thinks he's annoying as shit but I'm sure he didn't rob him#...would have been real fucking funny if he did though oh my god I would love to see him try that. it absolutely would not work BSKZKNSKSJS#hsr#henghill#bootheng#dan heng#boothill#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng
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For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D
+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)
#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat?#i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat#seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like;#'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺'#but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual#theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it#anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours#its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!!#and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself#so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault#but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to#i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head#aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads#but i think he looks pretty good honestly???#also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭#i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session#but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking#^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!!#well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS'#the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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Rewatching act 2.... yeah ISHA WATCH OUT FOR THE CYCLE ISHA!!!!! NOOOOO
#ambessa setting up the logs on a fireplace while literally adding fuel to the fire with cailtyn... subtelty#silco spent his whole life trying to rile the undercity together STUPID JOKE THAT IT IS you have the chance to pull it off#isha is the true revolutionary after all... jinx get up to her level#was jinx scared of having hallucinations when the girl she released was gonna touch her shoulder??? and then she didn't#what i find really funny is that warwick knows how to use elevators and that funicular to the prison#also there is a lot of blood when he appears in the prison.... it was surprising#vander recognizing jinx with the name of powder after she complained about it eariler its just crazy crazy crazy#people commenting that its unrealistic how caitlyn bests vi when they meet in episode 6 as if there wasn't a montage about how she lost her#edge because of alcohol and living like shit.... she's not like jinx lmao....#rewatching so recently is so weird i imagine it is as close as being dr manhattan as i can get it is literally happening all at once#also the people of piltover are so dumb... lets let the government implement martial law and put this 20 something with 0 political#experience on charge with the army of this outsider agent. alright. i can tell you guys dont vote in this oligarchy you know fuck all#well i guess in that case it isnt the people of piltovers fault... just the important families that contribute in this oligarchy...#putting count fagula in charge.... salo is speciallt dumb but we all knew that#katie leung needs awards btw.... and interviews#“do not test this or you will yearn for caitlyn's dungeons” be careful singed my friend vi fell for that and look at her... her dungeons...#vander reaching for isha not jinx.... OR VI.... she just stopped him#“hes gonna kill you” and vi fighting vander to protect jinx.... yeah#and then she trusts jinx and the beast turns into vander... he serves as a recognizing tool for their true selves...#their mom being so worried about how to name vi and then names the second one POWDER kahdksjsk never not funny... also the barber of zaun#when vi joins with jayce she unlocks this loser flop aspect of her mother's inheritance.... two losers joining to maximize their joint flop#also vander kinda giving up this promise to protect the girls instead of bettering zaun... how it puts him in a standstill bc it's either or#like damn there is nothing as undoing as a daughter for reals. she didnt experience that bc she died so now vander has to and here we are#episide 6 starts with the end of the episode when viktor drops that metal piece..... hello..... is this anything#“do you think this place could work” underground utopia.... DYNASTIES AND DYSTOPIA FEAR IS NEVER AN OPTION SO DYING'S NOT A REAL PROBLEM#didnt ambessa suspect anything when they spent loke a full minite staring at each other 😭😭 she's lost her edge...#just like when she clocked sevika but not jinx... when there's a strong butch in the area her radar gets jammed up#and caitlyn leaving her weapon behind... ambessa thought she was gonna fistfight warwick or something#the metal thing falling when viktor dies repeats THREE TIMES WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#watching arcane season 2
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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