#trying to accept a 'cant do anything so may as well say its gonna be ok' mindset.

[livedtough]

one and only post: ive decided its gonna be ok. we have each other, and while we cant do much about the big things, we ARE gonna take care of each other and love each other. and we'll be ok :]

[comet-wire]

Ngl I've been having a gender crisis again on top of all the stuff that's happened with my dad, I think I still identify as male/masculine idk 🗿

Same with my ace/aro spectrum placement ☝️🗿

[that-hippie-user]

Hi there! so, i'm looking to extend my demographic a bit. and to that end, i'm making an offer to any casual or vanilla audiences out there.

:3 my name is Luna Stardust. i'm a hypnotist. and while normally thats because i enjoy participating in the kinkier side of the community, i also practice for more wholesome means.

some of my partners are from religious homes that shamed them for certains ways of thinking. some are any form of neurospicy and wanted to let go of their cringe instinct to follow their hyperfixations shamelessly. and some are just people i know who need a bit of comfort and security in their life.

:3 if that is you, here's my offer. below is gonna be a "read more" tag. clicking on it will show you a simple hypnosis script i wipped together to help alleviate stress or shame.

the script is for reading, whenever you have time or a place to sit/lay down and relax to it, which will help you enter trance so that i may assist in letting go of some stuff you dont want.

and to be clear, hypnosis is NOT brainwashing. i cant make you do anything dangerous or unwanted. you yourself have the power to wake up on your own, say no to anything i say, or just walk away. you can even block me if you so choose, and i wont hold anything against you if you do.

:P the only potentially lasting thing will be a basic trigger phrase IF you desire it, which will make hypnosis easier if you ever wanna try again. this phrase will only work if said by someone you trust, including yourself if you wish, and will only work when you are in the mood to try hypnosis again. and if you dont want it? thats fine, im not making you keep it. you'll have the power to throw it out on your own if you wish.

^u^ with that in mind, come along if you like. :3 i'll be your host on a journey to self acceptance.

:3 and here we are, past the "read more" section

UwU i thank you humbly for joining me. and welcome you kindly.

:3 some of my followers have already done this with me before. if thats you, then welcome back. ^u^ and if you're a newbie, welcome also!

:3 the process for this couldnt be simpler. just get into a relaxing position, and take some time to read along.

as is said many times in the hypnosis community. "all hypnosis is self hypnosis." which is to say, YOU the subject are the one who's hypnotizing yourself. :3 hypnosis is ultimately just guided meditation. anyone can do it, even on their own. but its even easier with a guide.

^u^ even by choosing to read along with my words, we've already begun. you being here is a show of trust. logically, you wouldnt be here if you werent at least a little interested.

:3 well, i hope to prove worthy of that trust. so i will do my best to make this a good experience.

to start with, let's do some simple breathing exercises.

breathing in

and out

in

and out

in a simple steady rhythm.

not so deep to exhaust you.

and not too shallow either.

just getting into a cozy rhythm like unwinding after a stressful day.

breathing in

and out

as we continue forward

with every breath in, a soothing sensation fills your lungs and spreads through your body

and with every breath out, you release tension and stress, flowing out of your breath and away into the air.

and as this goes, you take in more and more feelings of relaxation, letting them wash over you, and you release the tension that holds you back.

but this puts you in a cycle.

you soothe yourself so you relax

you relieve stress so you relax further

you relax further so you feel more soothed

you feel more soothed so you relax deeper

you relax deeper so you let out more tension

the tension fades away, so you relax even deeper

this endless spiral of relaxation pulls you deeper and deeper

you see, hypnosis is an interesting thing.

it's kind of like a feather falling gently down.

down down down

further further yet further

into the deep deep depths

but there is no real bottom to reach

no ground to land upon

because with hypnosis, you can always go deeper

how is that possible?

because hypnosis isnt a light switch can only go on or off

hypnosis is an endless void that you can go endlessly deep into

easily escaped, easily traveled, and even easier to fall into.

and the deeper you go the more relaxing it is

and the more relaxing it is the deeper you go

and the deeper you go the more you listen

and the more you listen the deeper you go

and the deeper you go the more you focus

and the more you focus the more you listen

and the more you listen the more you obey

and the more you listen the more you obey

more and more you listen and obey

you listen and obey

listen and obey

listen and obey

listen and obey

DROP

there we go

nice and deep

but always able to go deeper

you listen

you obey

you listen and obey

you are doing wonderfully.

and as promised, i am here to help you let go of your worries and fears.

firstly, lets give you that special trigger phrase. its a very simple set of words. if spoken by yourself or someone you trust, it will help you enter trance. and it will only work when you wish it to.

these words are Hypno Naptime

when read or listened to, if you wish it to work and trust who said it to you, you will enter trance with these words.

Hypno Naptime. :3 simple enough, and its yours to keep or to throw away if you wish.

now then, lets continue our lessons.

too often people are burdened with shame for who they are. for any number of reasons. maybe some feel they arent smart enough, or feel guilt for liking people outside the dating norm, or even wish they could just enjoy their favorite shows without feeling "cringe" for doing so.

in our minds, we build barriers to hide away from aspects of ourselves, as if shame alone can fix us.

but these sorts of things dont need fixing, they arent wrong or broken. if everyone is unique, why shame them for being so? isnt that a beautiful thing, worth celebrating?

well, the thing is, we've already found a way to lift barriers.

letting yourself enter trance like this, that was lifting a barrier in itself. letting you listen more deeply to my every word.

if we can open you up like this. we can easily lift away those worthless barriers that hide away your wonderful features. we dont need to live in shame.

so, lets do our part to make living life the way YOU want to, that much easier.

before you is a button, simple big and red. pressing it lifts the barrier and reveals the shame behind it, which we will dispose of.

on my mark. press the button.

1. 2. 3. *click*

the barrier lifts, and we see what hides behind.

before you is an otherwise ordinary desk. filled with small well crafted objects representing the interests desires or traits that you needlessly felt were worth hiding away.

and on that desk is one object, broken and worthless, taking up space. it is shame.

it's an eyesore compared to everything else here. and it only makes the desk less organized by being here.

it serves no purpose, it has no value. this shame is best thrown away.

and nearby, is a bin with a trash bag, where you can throw it out.

the next choice is obvious.

on my mark, we throw this piece of junk away.

1. 2. 3. *it falls into the bag*

and there we go! and now this lovely little space is unhindered. its a beautiful sight, i dont see why it was ever tucked away like this.

such a lovely feature should be kept with pride, maybe even shown off if you have friends who'd appreciate it.

:3 i think id be proud to have something this nice. and i think you should be too.

^u^ well, we've made some good progress here.

:3 id say, now is the time for me to wake you from trance so you can continue your day.

^u^ so, im going to count to 10, and when i reach 10, you will awaken feeling refreshed and happy.

1 we begin our ascent up to waking

2 rising further an further

3 feeling coming back to your body and mind

4 shifting in place as you re-learn to move around

5 halfway there

6 like stirring from a cozy sleep

7 the soothing feeling of waking from a nice dream

8 eyes fluttering

9 becoming fully aware

10 rise and shine!

:3 hiya! so, i hope you enjoyed my little post. hopefully its done some good.

^u^ in case you're one of those subjects that forgets trance when it happens, we just did a simple hypnosis induction!

:3 if you have trouble remembering what we did here, the description for what this was for is at the top of the post, or if you back up its the section right before you hit "read more"

X3 careful if you re-read the whole post tho, beneath that section is a fully functional hypnosis script, and you may sink in again! :3 hypnosis is even easier once youve done it before.

^u^ if you're new to my work, you can give me a follow. but juuuuust be aware, i do cater to the kinkier side of furry communities. :3 might have a youtube channel with my own audio hypnosis later on, we'll see!

[arttrampbelle]

Dunno bout y'all but shang tsung would be soft for his s/o

Sorry not sorry but shang tsung to me IS somft for his beloved.

Because your probably the only person he's been with for like how long,you put up with him,and honestly would he find anyone like you ever again? Probably not.

So no. His s/o don't NEED to be like him to be with him. They just need to accept him and he's gonna be well....a dark sorcerer. Plain n simple.

Sure it would be nice to find like minds. But i dunno shang doesn't strike me personally to go after someone that is an exact copy of him or tries to be like him. He like genuineness above all else. Ironically.

If you can be yourself. And who you are honestly. And are absolutely undyingly loyal to him.

It doesn't matter how cunning or "intellectual" you are. It doesn't matter what your personality is.

He values loyalty,honesty,and genuine people. Because those people he can actually fucking keep around and not stab him in the back when plans go off the rails.

Which unfortunately he tends to hire or associate with.

So to have you,who is loyal,trusting,and bound to him. Soul or not.

Is a fucking treasure.

Look man i get it. You wanna be like shang. He one cool dude. I feel you. But there is only one room for a cunning binch. And thats him.

So if you're trying to match him,good luck. Because he'll see right through that and walk away.

But if its genuine. He'll stay. But dont be fake.

There is a difference between him with business partners or friends/allies and romantic partners or even a spouce.

Like for anything closer it needs to be something worth keeping yes. But again it doesn't NEED to be like him to catch his eye.

In all honesty.

Someone who he can be genuinely domestic with and take off the evil sorcery mask around would be a breath of fresh air to him. He could let down his walls for fucking once.

He is happy to be around you. And only you.

Could he be clingy,sure. Possessive? Sure. But you are well taken care of. Nobody's gonna fuck with you on his watch.

Also if you cant fight,he'll teach you. You wanna learn magic. Become the sorcerer's apprentice. No. Not the movie.

Just also make sure its not soul magic or anything heavier. Because he's very particular about that. But thats out of protection for himself AND you.

But any of invocations of magic is perfectly acceptable. Elemental is the easiest and most likely.

But yeah,he'd happy to teach you anything he knows. Tbh shang tsung would totally take in an apprentice he can mold to his desires. Especially to take down a certain thunder god. Hee hee.

Some of y'all have a decent idea on him. But miss the point he doesn't need someone to be like him.

In fact.....thats boring.

He would want someone he can cherish. I wouldn't put it past him to slowly unbeknown to you. To slowly increase your lifespan or slow your aging with magic. Sure you may not know it at first. But after maybe a decade or so....you question some shit and go "hey wait a minute"

I dunno man.

Shang i honestly don't think gives a fuck about superficial crap much. He acts like it. But thats not what keeps him.

He's over 500yrs old. Do you honestly believe anyone that long lives gives a fuck about superficial crap?

No. Not even the vainest mofo would give a damn after a while. It would get boring.

I know my villains honey. And i know these archtypes.

But all in all.....at the end of the day.....does it matter?

No. Because you,reader,you are the special exception.

Shang would totally love you no matter what the hell your personality is like. As long as your genuine about it.

Thats all he'd care about.

So dont listen to these x readers that have "oh he wouldn't like so n so" or "he wouldn't like x this type person" like hell. He would totally love you. Im sorry but i hate people who say in x reader type posts to say. They wouldn't like this type of person. No. Thats wrong. And bad x reader writing.

Like at the end of the day,its your writing. Write however you want. Its your city. But for me. Shang tsung don't give a single rats ass what you look like,what your personality is,if your soft n sweet or cunning like him. (Bonus if you both) but at the end of the day he's just happy that he's finally found someone to share life with. However brief if may or may not be. Fr.

You need to be open minded about this type of writing. Dont alienate reader like that.

I have learned its best to write less about what reader is or is like. And more about character in question. And less about "types" and more about what keeps them. And most of them. I hate to break it to you. Especially villains.

Wants some damn loyalty and peace n quiet. Do you how stressful it is to be evil bad guy all the time? Dont you think they deserve a damn break once n a while. Like come home from a long day of scheming "honey im home,i love you. Lets take a bath together" type shit.

Like bruh come on

Like shang tsung just wants to chill and be on his island n have souls to "drink" is that hard to ask for?

And he would absolutely cherish you. Like a dragon coiled around his treasure.

You are precious to him. And if he could,he'd clutch you tighter,hide you in his pocket from the cold dangerous world of kombat.

But alas. He cant.

Because thats not how it works. Even if the odds are in his favor.

A mastermind like him would also needs to be gentle with his beloved,to keep them in his favor or keep them beholden to him anyways. I feel it would be genuine,but also shang tsung is gonna well....shang tsung.

But even when he's being a bastard,he isn't gonna shy away from making sure you're absolutely comfortable and well loved.

You don't need to be just like him to be loved by him. You just need to be genuine.

Anyways. Shang tsung loves you. Ok? Dont you worry your precious heads my fellow shang tsimps,self shippers,and fic writing community.

[sailorshadzter]

here im gonna go ahead and “try” to compile all my favorite inukag moments from the series. this particular post is a) based off the anime and b) in nO PARTICULAR ORDER so yeah

welcome to my top  every favorite inukag moments post

under the cut cause u know

long post.

I. LOVE. THIS. MOMENT. SO. FUCKING. MUCH.

first off, inuyasha’s genuine concern over her???? his palm cupping her cheek???? the way his eyes change as they look over her???? NOPE. thats it, im dead. what i love about inuyasha is when he feels something, he FEELS it. especially in the moment of panic or TRUE WORRY. gone is the feeling of shame or embarrassment. there’s no blushing and no macho man persona. what we have right here is pure, GENUINE concern over someone he cares about deeply. and more than anything else, this is still fairly early in their relationship. its been what, a month, maybe more, since they met. they dont know each other all that well yet and we all know inuyasha has some genuine trust issues. but with kagome... it’s different. he’s all in for her, whether he’d admit it yet (& he definitely wouldn’t yet). but this moment changes things for him. this moment truly frightens him, truly makes him think he’s gonna lose her. he cant have that, he’d give anything to protect this strange and irritating girl. he calls her useless and annoying, but he likes her. a lot. he trusts her, which is saying a lot. 

HAHAHA YES. okay so this is such a good moment because prior to this exact screenshot, inuyasha is tugging at her sleeve, trying to get her to show him her wound because W O R R I E D. sango is coming up, watching them and she thanks them, leaving them both blushing and confused. this is a moment i love for more than just the cute inukag moment- it’s an inuGANG moment. neither one of them really realize what kind of impact they have on their comrades- kagome’s kindness despite having been attacked by kohaku, and inuyasha’s constant restraint in battle. which of course means inuyasha CARES about sango. he knows her baby brother is important to her, so he’s important to him too, even if he tries to make it seem like he’s not. them acting the way they do have this way of telling sango that everything is going to be alright in the end, without even knowing they’re doing it. 

gif kind of explains it all, hahahahaha. 

this is a movie 2 moment

i love it because we get a bit of why i love kagome & inuyasha together SO MUCH more than i could have ever liked kikyo & inuyasha.  i like you as a half demon is what she’s saying here, telling inuyasha that he doesnt have to change. that he’s perfect the way he is. when you think back to moments like this with kikyo, its her almost urging him to become human with the jewel. rather than accept inuyasha as he is, she offers him a way out. kagome loves inuyasha for WHO he is, for what he is, and she doesnt care if he’s human or demon, she just cares that he’s inuyasha.

this goes back to that first moment i listed, because it’s inuyasha showing GENUINE concern for kagome (and shippo too!) when he thinks they’ve died, he says something along the lines of you’ve killed my friends, youre really gonna regret that or whatever it is that he says... BUT YOU CAN SEE IT ON HIS FACE & HEAR IT IN HIS VOICE, HE’S PISSED. those are his FRIENDS. HIS COMRADES. how dare you hurt them!! the new friends he’s so recently acquired, though they may be new they’re HIS and theyre IMPORTANT. i love this because his first reaction is anger and then true grief as he reaches for her hand, saying dont leave me. this is a moment that kind of always stuck with me throughout the series as being important, because it really shows you how close inuyasha and kagome are, even this early in the series. even though inuyasha is rough around the edges and would never admit it TO HER, you know he cares a lot for her. this moment is proof of how much inuyasha truly feels for those he cares about, no matter how long it’s been since he’s met them. its proof of his big heart 

YOUR BLOOD DOESNT BOTHER ME

fuck that line always gets me and honestly i cant tell you if she says it in the anime or just the manga, but we’ll pretend i know what im talking about. honestly, this whole episode was GOLD. inuyasha cares so deeply for kagome, he’s willing to go through hell & back just to ensure she’s safe and protected. when he knew she was in danger, he fought like hell to get to her. & though he’s weak and bleeding, his only thoughts are of her. & he wants her to put his robe on, even if she’s bothered by the blood stains, because its gonna offer her protection. 

AND THEN THE ENDING SCENES? ESPECIALLY THE ANGRY CRYING, CLING?? 

kagome crying over the edge of the cliff, thinking inuyasha has just died to save her life. its not what she wanted, its never something she’d want. but he did it and she cant take it back. nothing miroku or shippo says can stop her from feeling guilty and so overwhelmingly sad she cant even speak. and then she’s angry. how dare he die & leave her behind. how dare he throw his own life away in place of her own. he knew he was weak and hurt, but he threw himself off the cliff anyways, despite her protests. but then he’s alive & she’s crying, shaking him in anger and relief. she’s just so happy he’s alive.

bonus pic of kagome being bad ass in this episode cause she’s BAE:

u go girl

WHATS NOT TO LOVE, HONESTLY??

kagome is calling out to sesshomaru, calling him “big brother” and both him and inuyasha wear the BEST expressions ever. then of course you get jaken who’s like WTF HOW DARE SHE & sesshomaru is like stfu ill kill u bitch. WHICH I LOVE BECAUSE HELLO, CHARACTER GROWTH. 

another movie 2 moment (can you tell its my favorite one?) 

i love, love, lOOOVEEEE this moment. its’ one of my all time favorite moments, honestly. i love that it’s kagome that brings him back. her voice, her smile, her touch, and then her kiss. she’s there, locked inside his heart & mind, his bond with her stronger than any magic spell. and while it seems like for a moment inuyasha might lose himself to his inner demon, kagome saves him with a kiss (hey, fuck u gender stereotypes! girls can wake their guys with kisses too!) & we get a really sweet moment that follows

he tells her ill stay a hanyou just a little longer, jsut for you. 

JUST. FOR. YOU. 

fuck. he remembers what she says to him & its special to me because again, kagome loves him FOR HIM. she doesnt want him to change, she doesnt want him to be human or a full demon. she just wants him to be him. everyone else he’s ever known has looked down on him for being half and half, never fully belonging to either side. but with kagome... he knows he’ll always belong. 

plus he’s clinging to her like she’s his only fucking lifeline. inukag hugs mean more to me than probably anything. even the kisses, tbh. 

INUYASHA BLUSHING, GAH

its adorable. i enjoy it thoroughly. 

more early moments i LOVE & cant help but over analyze. 

this is the FIRST TIME he gives her his robe of the fire rat. its so important because it’s him showing concern for her well being & understanding that she needs his protection. he offers it to her and can i just say, any time i see inuyasha doing this i get giddy inside??

i know its dumb but i just love it so much

LIKE IT JUST FILLS MY HEART WITH SO MUCH JOY.

this is another favorite moment because it shows kagome’s growth as a character. inuyasha has just come from seeing kikyo and yes, of course she’s upset by this, but she’s also upset that this idiot is up and MOVING AROUND? HELLO YOU ALMOST DIED??? what ARE YOU DOING??? but also, he saw kikyo and that hurts, but her concern over him always takes precedence, no matter how she feels about him & kikyo being together. 

SHUT UP & LET ME PROTECT YOU.

this is a reanimation of a beginning episode (i think its from.. movie 4? 3? maybe its 3. i think its 3.) and GOD I REMEMBER SEEING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. 10yr old me was like “yup, theyre gonna get married.” 

hey, i wasnt wrong. 

any & all jealous-inuyasha moments can be included here, alright? this one is just my favorite way inuyasha interrupts. 

i love jealous-inu. like, more than anything. he’s so quick to put himself between kagome & men, whether its koga or miroku or a stranger. she’s HIS even if he wouldn’t have admitted it at this point in their relationship. kagome is off limits to everyone. 

also... 

i cant, im crying, i just love him so much

all the expressions here literally define the whole dynamic of their relationships lmao

I 

AM 

SCREAMING

i always cry & flail & fangirl over this moment. it doesnt matter how many times i see the scene or the episode. i could write novels about how much this moment means to me & to their relationship. i feel like this is a defining point for them, especially for inuyasha. 

its at this point that he recognizes how much kagome means to him & that scares him. the last time he cared for a woman, she died. and that same woman died thinking he’d killed her. he cant let that happen again. he cant let another woman he cares for *ahem* LOVES die. he wont. and he knows that going forward, things are gonna get a lot more dangerous. so he does what he thinks is the best choice: he sends her home. but before we see him push her back down the well, we get this really sweet embrace and admission of ~feelings~ from inuyasha. he tells her how scared he was, that he really thought he was gonna lose her that day. for the first time in his life, he admits to someone else just how much they mean to him. he may not say “kagome i adore you” but he might as well have. his embrace, his words, and then his pushing her down the well says everything about the truth of his feelings for her. he’d rather be WITHOUT her, than see her get hurt. you can see how badly it hurts him to send her home, but it’s not about him anymore. its about protecting the girl he so clearly loves. 

so he sends her away & hopes she’ll be safe on the other side. 

bonus kagome yelling @ inuyasha so loudly he almost blows away. 

damn girl, u scary.

then there’s this moment....

i love it because inuyasha is just so... so vulnerable here.  he’s washing and washing but cant get the stench of blood off his hands. and then there’s kagome with that pitying look on her face. he can see it in her eyes... and he hates it. he doesnt want pity, he says, he doesnt care what he did, he yells, but she knows he’s lying. i think this is important for inuyasha’s growth as a character too, because for the first time he sees the PROBLEM with him becoming a full demon. 

& what does he fear the most about changing again? that he’s going to hurt kagome. that those claws of his are going to draw her blood. that next time, she might not be able to bring him back from the edge. & that terrifies him, 

but more than anything else- inuyasha lets her in. in a moment such as this, if it’d been anyone else, he’d have locked them out. he’d never have let someone else see him when he felt so vulnerable, so sad. but kagome... kagome was different. kagome understands, somehow, she always knows what to say or what to do when it comes to his feelings. she cant offer him much comfort aside from this- her light embrace. but it was all he needed. inuyasha sliding his hand into place over hers is such a beautiful and powerful image, with his striking golden eyes so fucking sad. it breaks my heart every single time i see this episode or watch this scene

.

MORE BLUSHING INU. 

YES MORE OF THIS.

i honestly dont remember the context of this moment (she sneezes? she’s cold?) but it’s another one of those moments where his protective side comes out. Kagome CANT get sick (yeah thats what im gonna go with here okay) and his instinct is to offer her his robe, which will keep her warm & safe. kagome leans in to rest her head on his shoulder and ITS JUST ADORABLE

i love this moment so fucking much you guys have no idea. 

ILL PROTECT KAGOME he screams as he jumps into the line of fire. tessaiga isnt even working correctly at this point but there was no way in hell he’d have let that guy hurt kagome. he’d have given his life in this very moment if it meant protecting kagome. i love how the story of hoshiyomi & tsukiyomi kind of mirrors that of inukag- i mean, even inukik. it reminds me a lot of naruto & how it takes generations of the groups to get it right- hoshiyomi & tsukiyomi tried but failed. inuyasha & kikyo were the second set to try it, they came close, but it still just wasn’t right. but then kagome comes along & everything just falls so perfectly into place. it took a few tries, but they got it right in the end.

could this list really ever be complete without this special moment?

i absolutely, 100% will never get over this moment. 

not only is this a really great inukag moment, it’s an inu-gang moment.

he’s worried about them all, his heart aches because he really thinks he’s lost them all. but then... kagome’s soft little voice speaks & he realizes that they’ve all been saved. PERFECTION. for the first time, inuyasha sheds tears for someone he loves - and it’s not just for kagome, again, he’s worried about them ALL. he’s learned how to open his heart to love and affection and friendship. it’s softened him, changed him, FOREVER. and i jsut will never get over that. 

anyways this has been in my drafts for so long i forgot it even existed  ✌️

[modpoppy]

gonna actually vent about it

its just so hard to describe the feeling of being a corelet post-system collapse. like, i only just found out that theres an explanation for what i am when ive basically been telling myself i must not have counted as a real system since its been years of silence

like first and foremost, i cant.... dissociate anymore? not the way i used to, not in a recognizable way, i think it still happens sometimes, it just feels different and wild and hard to pin down. i also think maladaptive daydreaming has taken up so much of my consciousness im barely aware of anything half the time. but i used to constantly trigger it for myself (mostly because everything just. fucking sucked) and it was a process and it was a way to blip through everything, and now im just... always here, always hearing and seeing and feeling and thinking and thats SO fucking scary???? imagine if you remained aware and conscious every time you slept, even when you didnt dream, you just have to sit there and try not to let your thoughts wander too much. i think its bc i dont have anywhere to go? theres just no SPACE right now, i was able to simply leave consciousness and wait it out as a last resort before, now it feels like im glued straight to the world

i dont know how to express the inherent wrong feeling of always having had a chorus to bitch about things with and suddenly being alone. i think especially since i dont have any friends right now it feels a bit worse, i am literally only ever posting nonsense on here or talking to my sibling (who is at best somewhat insufferable). i cant really comprehend how someone could prefer this, honestly, to each their own but we were an actual dumpster fire before and id still go back to that instead because wed have the chance to TALK

and on that, i loathe the person that came before me and the way things used to work. i have so many memories of the good we shared, the people i miss and the fun interactions, but i also know that we ran this ship basically as toxicly as you can imagine, everything that could have been done wrong it did. this wasnt even our first, or second, or probably third collapse, but i think this ones lasted so much because we got into INCREDIBLY bad places in the last stretch. we were practically non-functional save for the overworked host, who in turn took it out on everyone else for being disruptive and dangerous and picked favorites and broke promises.

so, it sucks knowing im ostensibly based on them, built out of their brain. it sucks that ill be forever tied to the person they were and i cant really say we arent the same. it sucks that ive been saddled with their life choices and if i think too hard about it i dont know where what they decided we want ends and where whatever i am begins. i dont even know if i really am interested in accounting or if thats a residue.

but yeah so im over here like. i dont feel valid talking about system things. i feel deceptive not talking about system things. i want to reminisce but i dont want to talk about the old system. i want to talk about system things but i feel like a poser or something. in theory i know its my business and i dont need to prove anything to anyone but in practice well

evidence is everything in the court of peers

i miss them and i hate them and i accept the existence of anyone now and future and it scares me, that i may stay alone forever, and that i may never know if or how we couldve worked out our differences and settled into a life we could all live. maybe one day. i dont know how or if it can be sooner. i dont know what ill do until then.

[taeyungie]

em, well.. he called me today. the irony of it all is apparently when i was talking w/ that 1 guy after my ex years ago, i only told him cus he asked me out & i apparently said he didnt need to know that stuff and i dont remember ever saying that but he said he was hurt/caught off guard & therefore never shared any of his personal relations with me. i think i blacked those yrs out. i went thru a very bad & messy breakup and wanted a distraction, i don't remember him ever asking me out then but he said he remembered very well. i feel so fucking stupid. this basically all happened bc of me. and u were right, he said he /always/ had those feelings even after my ex but i felt they weren't there... so i never attempted anything until i built up our relationship again which is how it is now. but, the real kicker is.. i told him that i didnt want to be put in a position where if he was serious about me, that he'd talk to other ppl, but he said im basically asking for commitment and he cant give that to me unless i show that i'm willing to let him come see me or vice versa (which i just need more time for), until then, he's not going to tell me if he's messing with anyone but he said if things do get serious with someone, then he'll let me know to not lead me on. thats not what i wanted to hear. basically he's open to whatever happens with whoever, even if he cares deeply about me, but he cant promise to not talk to other ppl and i know its selfish, i just wanted him to wait for me, esp after all this time with trying and failing with wrong timings. the way he said "IF i get into a relationship, i'll tell u" gets me cause i'll only know if he makes it official, he said thats how its gonna be. and i honestly feel like i'll end up pushing him away cus the reality of that being possible hurts too much. he said he'll just have to accept it then. but even after talking i still feel as lost. i feel sad, ashamed i said those things i truly don't remember. but now i'm confused with my feelings. i know this is going to change everything. i can already feel myself wanting to pull away emotionally & put the guard i barely let down back up 😣

i am sorry sunshine :( but i'm really happy that you guys had the talk, you need to stay in contact with him no matter what, the silence can be the worst thing to do right now, so please try your best not to become closed off. the fact that you're both so hurt by this situation is so visible, my heart is breaking. although i really do understand both of you, and he is clear about what he expects and it's in your hands to decide what to do with it 🥺 you know... you have to understand that he is just trying to be happy too, just like we all do. it doesn't mean he only cares about himself, he was there for you through the bad times and he did wait for you, honey, but the thing happened years ago and he might be just tired of waiting, he just wants to find happiness and love too... i'm pretty sure he's probably just as hurt and confused by this situation as you are, but he cares about you and he wants to be with you, but maybe he cannot handle long-distance relationship, maybe he is tired of waiting, maybe there are other reasons he doesn't want to share because it's hurting him too much at this point, yeah? he probably started closing up on you because of that as well, that's why he stated his feelings in such harsh way. he probably doesn't mean to hurt you at all, he is just trying to protect himself.

so please, don't get me wrong, i may not be giving you the best advice or making you feel better which i'm really sorry for :( but i want to stay objective because the situation is tough, and help you understand how to deal with it, to look at your situation in a different light. I'm trying to guess what can be the issue and what you guys are going through, nothing I say is 100% right because I don't know the exact details and I will never know how exactly each of you is feeling. but what i know for sure is that one can stay strong for long enough, sweetheart :(

i understand that you might have blocked out the memories because of traumatic past and that is completely valid and I'm really sorry for what you went through, you deserve the best of love and care :( it's something he should be understanding about especially that he asked you out when you were still in pain, you probably weren't ready for something serious and i will allow myself to guess the guy you talked with was not considered as something you were serious about, right? you probably hoped for it, looked for it, but deep inside you probably might've been looking for a distraction, something to make you feel better, right? and since he was your best friend it was a different situation, although he probably chose to ask in a bad moment, he shouldn't blame you entirely for that and now act like it's all your fault, but i also understand why he was caught off guard and hurt by that, he was angry and jealous, he wanted to be with you and realizing you didn't choose him was probably very painful, although now he might feel like you realized you have feelings for him because you have no other options, and he wants you a strong and secure feeling from you to feel safe in it, but please don't get upset with my words, let me tell you something first, love.

Let me tell you a story, I myself also went through a similar thing and i also had to deny my best friend a long time ago, because of other reasons but one of the main ones was long distance, i never loved him but i cared for him that's another difference because your friend actually HAS feelings for you, but i know how my friend has felt when i kept explaining him why we can't be together, it made me feel terrible. yet, his feelings for me didn't lessen apparently, and to this day, sometimes, he still implies that his crush on me never went away. but in the meantime he was in many other relationships, serious ones and purely physical ones, while also not telling me much, i probably don't know about a lot but it's his life and not my business - my point is that, he also tried to be happy even while still actively hoping i would give him a chance, because he cares for me more than he does for the people he dated (but again in my story it didn't affect me because i never loved him that way). now picture yourself in our situation, he actually does love you but you guys can't be together right now because of some reasons, and he probably isn't feeling confident about your feelings for him because of the past events, which is why he asks you for "100% yes" or "100% no" right now. unless you give him an answer he waited for for a long time, he has the right to try and look for happiness elsewhere and not involve you in it, he might not be comfortable with sharing that he is having flings with others with someone he actually loves, simply because he doesn't want to hurt you, but it's just natural that he is looking for distractions, he is not looking for someone to replace you but he's also clearly not sure of your feelings for him, do you know what i mean now? he doesn't want the past to repeat, when he already waited for a long time, maybe tried to move on even. i know you don't want him to treat you like a 2nd choice and what i just said might look exactly like he's doing it but i personally don't see it that way, that REALLY is not the case, in my opinion it's the opposite and you are clearly his 1st choice, from what i deducted he also just told you that, but since you were/are out of reach he is trying to find other ways, even if it hurts him that they're not you.

don't close your heart up on him, honey. i know you're anxious and in pain, just try to understand his position, alright? you're both hurting a lot but you care for each other deeply and misunderstanding is not something that should be an obstacle, so please, the only way out of it is to talk to each other and be honest. maybe you could consider making some sacrifices to defeat things that stay in your way of saying "yes" , if relationship with him is something you truly want?

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Andrew Clark

(Not my gif)(Requested by @mpmarypoppins​ )

(I’m sorry this took so long! It took more work than I was expecting!)

- You technically met Andrew after the two of you were placed in the same class though; since you weren’t in the same social circle, you didn’t talk to each other. Well, you didn’t talk to each other until the teacher was late to class one day; something quite common for said teacher, and the delinquents who sat behind you decided to pick on you.

- Usually, it really didn’t bother you. You’d ignore them and the teacher would arrive and they’d be forced to shut up. But Andrew wasn’t used to that sort of thing and he certainly didn’t like it so when the goons started to berate you, he turned around and told them to shut up.

- They made a smartass retort back at him but did as he said, settling in their seats just as the teacher finally showed up. Throughout the rest of the class, the two of you took turns sneaking glances at each other and pretending like you weren’t when the other happened to look. 

- Neither of you mentioned the event to each other and you’d figured that that was the end of it. And for the time being it was, but a few days later that wouldn’t be the case. 

- Once again, your teacher was late and the assholes who sat behind you began their familiar attempts at bothering you. You caught Andrew glancing back at you, watching to see your reaction; you’d assumed, before he finally turned fully around and told them to knock it off …though this time they didn’t.

- The ringleader of the group made a comeback, turning on the boy and asking “what he was going to do about it”, prompting Andrew to stand up, threatening to “wipe the floor with” them.

- The boy stood up as well, grinning as he made a comment about the two of you dating, and subsequently an obscene remark which made your face turn hot. Before you knew it, the two boys were one the floor, Andrew pushing the kid to the ground, asking if he was finished and demanding he apologize.

- He released the boy after a moment and they straightened themselves out, stumbling backwards without saying anything, hoping to dodge the extra humiliation of saying they were sorry.

- You saw that Andrew was about to say something; most likely once again telling the boy to apologize, so you delicately grabbed his arm and told him it was fine, thanking him for sticking up for you.

- He eased up as the other boy and his group of friends made their exit, turning to you more calm then before and asking if you “just let them do that to you”.

“Nothing much I can do. If I say something they’ll just keep doing it because they get a rise out of me.” You explained.

“If you don't fight back they’ll just keep bothering you cause you’re an easy target.” He insisted.

“I’ll be an easy target but I’ll also be boring. The only way to win is to wait it out and let them get bored.” You replied, turning through your notebook a bit uncomfortably.

“No.” He shook his head.

“What?” You asked, furrowing your brows in confusion.

“No,” he replied. “They bother you again, you tell me. I’ll handle it if you don’t want to.”

- His offer made you smile but proved to be unnecessary as the boys moved seats and refused to say anything to you after that day.

- The two of you hadn’t talked in a few days so it sort of shocked you when he approached you in the hall and struck up a conversation, asking how things were to which you were able to report that the guys had left you alone.

- He gave you a small smile and a “that’s good, that’s good” before going quiet for a moment. You were about to say goodbye until he turned to you and told you about a party that one of his friends was having, suggesting that; maybe, you’d like to go before offering to pick you up.

- Taking your only chance to attend a real highschool party; and spend more time with one of the most popular and handsome boys in school, you agreed, writing down your address for him and returning his smile as he said goodbye. 

- As it turns out, parties aren’t really your thing and surprisingly not his either. The two of you ended up spending most of your time sat outside, talking in the dark and nursing cheap beer.

- You’d been telling him a story when you noticed that his eyes were locked on you. You’d dismissed it for a while before you turned and met his eyes, your story quickly becoming meaningless and trailing off into thin air.

- You watched as his eyes shifted down towards your lips, pausing there before he began to lean in. You began to lean forward as well, tilting your head so that he could connect your lips properly.

- The two of you shared a long, soft kiss before you pulled away, a warm, fuzzy feeling filling you as you took notice of the lovestruck sorta look on his face. The two of your faces lingered close to each other’s for a moment, neither of you wanting to pull away.

“You should probably take me home, it’s getting late.” You whispered.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked quietly.

“No.” You smiled, laughing softly.

- A small smile found its way onto his lips as well before he leaned in again, kissing you with a bit more fervor than before, his hands tightening their grip on the jacket; his jacket, that you were wearing.

- Cliques and stereotypes be damned. He loved you and he sure as hell wasn't letting you go if he could help it.

- He’s been taught to be a gentleman so he keeps his pda light and innocent. He doesn’t need the entire school watching him shove his tongue into your mouth.

- Soft kisses.

- Handholding.

- Temple, forehead, and head kisses. 

- Attending all of his wrestling matches and cheering him on. He always seeks you out in the crowd and shoots you a smile.

- He’s prone to trying to show off and impress you. Taking off clothes, flexing, athletic tricks, acting tough; whatever he thinks will get your attention.

- Giving him genuine, meaningful praise. 

- Shy compliments from him. Sometimes, he gets genuinely awestruck over how pretty you are. 

- He doesn't use too many nicknames, maybe a babe here and there but otherwise he just calls you by your name. He thinks pet names are sorta silly though he cant help but smile when you use them on him; as long as its in private. 

- He insists on escorting you to class. It’s certainly useful, the hallway crowds all but part like the red sea for him and his Varsity jacket. 

- Your books? In his arms. Your entire body? In his arms. Hey, he’s got muscles for a reason; he’s gonna put them to good use!

- Getting used as a human dumbbell. It’s somewhat scary yet fun though you’re pretty sure he copes a feel every now and again. 

- If you ever have any food you don't want just slide it over to him. You don’t even need to say anything, he’ll grab it and kiss you on the cheek before you can anyways. 

- He fiddles with things when he’s bored so expect to just randomly feel him playing with your hair or witness him doing something adorably stupid in an attempt to entertain himself. 

- Playing finger football and other hand games in class/lunch. 

- Dancing together.

- He loves having you right by his side. He’ll literally pull your chair closer to his while you’re sitting in it just because he wants you as close as he can get you.

- Sharing inside jokes and secret smiles with each other.

- He’ll either lay between your legs and lean back against you, his head on your stomach/chest, or he’ll lay his head in your lap and let you mess with his hair. He “secretly” loves when you play with it.

- You usually cuddle with your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around you. He’s sorta not used to cuddling so it’s gonna take a little bit of time for him to warm up to really snuggling with you.

- He hasn't really figured out who he is yet. He’s an amalgamation of everyone he’s ever had to listen to so you’re gonna have to try and help break him out of that, and become his own person. 

- A part of him yearns to feel accepted and that’s going to cause him to do whatever he can to please you, unless, perhaps, it goes against pleasing his father. It’s just something he does without really thinking about it so you’ll have to sort of keep that in mind since you don’t want to take advantage of him. 

- Going out and acting like idiots, living in the moment and actually enjoying yourselves instead of worrying about what other people think. 

- Being there for him to rant to when he needs. 

- Helping him study so he doesn't fall behind in his academics while trying to excel in sports. 

- Wearing his jacket. He thinks you look adorable when you put it on and will always toss it to you when the weather gets cold.

- He’s hot blooded so if you get cold then just move in closer, he never minds. Either that or throw on the clothing that he’s pulled off of himself.

- Being invited to the “popular” parties, even if you really aren’t yourself. He’s not a big fan of them but you being there makes them more bearable.

- Becoming friends with the members of the breakfast club, specifically Claire since she’s in the same clique as Andrew and you wind up hanging out in the same places. 

- He genuinely likes you for you. You may think that you have to change something about yourself but just know that he loves you either way, whether you do change it or not. 

- He thinks you’re the greatest. Even if other people see your actions as “nothing” or strange, he finds them endearing.

- He’s always willing to fight to figure out what's wrong, pushing you to talk even when you try to defensively push him away. Instead of judging or trying to give you halfhearted advice, he just relates and makes you feel accepted.

- Carnival/theme park dates. He likes taking you places where he can win you prizes and the two of you can spend the day goofing off. 

- Arcade dates but the cool kind. 

- You know how hard it is to strip off clothes and makeout with his layered fucking circus act? Man has on like five shirts at a time. He’s immune to strip poker and pussy. 

- He sorta acts like your father. He’s been conditioned into acting the way he does, behaving like he’s a teacher/parent and telling people what to do, repeating the same dribble that he’s been told. In some ways its endearing, in others its infuriating and sad. 

- He isn't too keen on introducing you to his parents and you understand why. You don’t take offense, knowing that he isn’t keeping you away because he’s ashamed of you. 

- Making sure to step in and ensure he doesn't beat peoples asses. You’re one of the few people he listens to when he’s angry.

- He gets extremely jealous, particularly when he knows someone has a thing for you. And when he gets jealous, he has a habit of getting aggressive; either threatening or full on fighting guys when they don't back off. 

“You don't talk to her. You don't look at her. You don't even think about her.”

- Overprotective; he’s always ready to jump to your defense even when he really doesn’t have to. 

- A lot of your fights are due to outside pressures. He’s constantly under a lot of stress so fights can erupt at any time, even if neither of you mean for them to happen. 

- He just loses it, sometimes throwing an insult/harsh word or two at you that he doesn't mean. After he has some time to cool down he feels absolutely horrible and chides himself for being such a jerk. 

- He might show up at your house or try to approach you at school the next day but its up to you on whether you'll just take him back. He’ll ask to talk to you and tries to offer a genuine apology whenever he’s in the wrong. 

- Quiet, earnest “I love you’s”. He’s sort of shy about saying it but you can certainly tell that he means it when he does.

- You don’t really talk about the future all too much but he’ll occasionally bring it up. He certainly wants to marry you. He’s praying that you want the same and that you’ll end up being his highschool sweetheart. 

[karlnaping]

// ranboo situation

im gonna say this as as my opinion and lesbians feel free to drop your opinions bc im curious about what the rest of you think too

if you havent yet heard about ranboos apolgoy, he basically was apologizing for screenshots of his discord back in october when he joked about being a "lesbian himbo man" and generally being told that he dresses like a lesbian

now, as a lesbian i was originally very confused about why he was apologizing, and it's because that joke came from lesbians. same with the "cant believe tommys a lesbian" clip and people calling george a cottagecore lesbian with his mushroom house. it was a very popular joke among lesbians at the time, and obviously its almost impossible to know if a chat member or a dono is coming from a lesbian, but in the situation that it is or generally lesbians making the joke, i feel like its fair game for streamers to play along/repeat it, because for the most part lesbians arent uncomfortable abt it because they were the ones who started it

obviously, the issue is when non-lesbians start to make the joke. because i do get the "dont enforce lesbian stereotypes/use them as an aesthetic/make them the butt of jokes" when it comes to non-lesbians, which is the same for like,,, any sexuality really. (for any lesbians, tho, feel free to make the joke because you Are allowed to)

the issue is that mcyttwt and the fandom in general just keeps coming back to digging up old clips and screenshots over and over again even though we keep saying stop, and its always a minority that doesnt actually affect them. (90% sure the person who first brought up the screenshot wasnt even lesbian) this happened with the karl situation, despite it being obvious that he changed and obviously doesnt support any form of antisemitism/homophibia/racism. ranboos situation may seem a little bit different because it was only 6 months ago, but even still, ranboo caught himself and deleted the screenshots a While before they were brought up recently. he's been nothing but supportive to the entire lgbtq+ community, of course he's not going to be lesphobic. (personally i dont even consider the comments lesphobic, bc again, popular joke at the time, but to each their own) literally all youre achieving is reminding minorities that sometimes people suck.

at the same time though, people change, which is why bringing up screenshots and clips that dont reflect who ccs are anymore is just ridiculous at this point imo

i also think its different sexuality-wise compared to jokes about race or religion because unlike race which you can see right away, or typical religious indicators, sexuality isnt something that can exactly be defined unless verbally being told. like a lot of people say, youre white before youre anything else. thats not something that you can hide. (again, saying this as a white lesbian, so lmk if im out of line for this. also not trying to say that lgbtq+ oppression isnt real, relevant, or severe)

i will say, although i personally believe the apology was unnecessary and just kind of annoying that mcyttwt does this like once a month (i say as a member of mcyttwt), im glad he owned up to something and told people to both not say he did anything wrong because he Did make a mistake, telling people its ok and understandable if they dont support him anymore/he wont be mad, as well as turn off chat and ask people to not accept the apology if theyre not lesbian, as well as make multiple tweets about it. i think going forward in the event that a cc DOES make that kind of mistake and its ACTUALLY recent and not an old screensh, if they choose to address it on stream this should be the standard

and thats not to say that its not valid if it did make you uncomfortable if you are lesbian because no lesbian is the same nor have the same experiences. so however you choose to take the situation/his apology is up to you.

tl;dr i personally accept ranboo's apology as a lesbian even though i think it wasn't rly necessary bc he was just repeating a joke that lesbians had already made (as well as one i personally do not find offensive) and we should once again stop bringing up old screenshots and clips from ccs if they dont reflect their opinions anymore, ESPECIALLY if its a minority group youre not in because its not actually helping anyone. i do think his apology was well executed tho for being on stream and should be the standard for the future.

at the end of the day, watch who you wanna watch, support who you wanna support, just dont speak over minority groups, bring up old stuff thats not relevant to any minority group youre in, or accept apolgies if youre not apart of the affected minority group

feel free to yell at me, this is just my opinion. lesbians lmk y'alls takes

[fandomfixationstation]

Warning: mention of death of a loved one.

Todays concept is MC gets a call that like their parental figure has died one way or another and this upsets them greatly because one, they aren’t there to help with anything two, the only people there to do anything are their siblings three, they considered said parent a angel or a blessing by god (optional/bonus points if said parents name means angel-)  They don’t say anything at first though they seem rather angry and now one can figure out why. then they hide and have a mental breakdown to cry in hopefully but unlikely peace.  now I shall write the response headcanons / scenarios or whatever I will do Update: well I didn’t write a scenario / short story bit for all of them because i ran out of energy to do so and then i never went back to it, though if anyone begs or askes nicely I could in theory maybe work something out. this was something self indulgent and was something i wrote to really get me out of a bad headspace.  Lucifer

He is the first one to realize something is wrong, especially if they aren’t a very angry person. 

probably doesn’t get to ask about what is going on because he is forced to deal with something else and rather quickly

though when people start inquiring where they went after lunch, finding it unlikely that they would randomly choose to skip class or something he makes his goal to find them.

Probably doesn’t take him long to find them after he starts looking. gets it in the first three guesses of where they are hiding.

“why are you hiding here with Cerberus?” Lucifer said with a bit of amusement. he figured he would find them here with his dog. just not curled up and cuddling. 

“wouldn’t you like to know” was all they uttered out, having no real energy to argue, or fight. though it was clear they had been crying their eyes out. 

“well something is clearly upsetting you, why not talk about it. nobody else is here to listen in” Lucifer offers to lend an ear to listen to their problems. he was also hoping that by doing so he could get to the root of the problem and deal with it. expecting that he was going to have to knock one of his brothers into line again. 

“I just received some bad news. that’s all. also, I’ll be otherwise located Friday, so like, don’t worry if I’m not around on Friday, I will be back like Saturday, so there is that” They explain, clearly not wanting to get into the details of the so called bad news.  

“otherwise located?” Lucifer inquired as to what the hell they meant by that. 

“yeah, um, I will be visiting - visiting the human world for the day.” visiting might not be the word they were looking for but it was the word they went with nonetheless. 

“your visiting the human world?” Lucifer was surprised to say the least. especially considering he wasn’t hearing about this till now. 

“yeah, i was talking to Diavolo not long ago to make sure it was alright” with a sigh the were back to melting into the side of the dog. 

“normally you are excited to visit the human world, what happened” lucifer wanted to get to the root of the misery they were feeling and he wasn’t gonna sweep this under the rug.

“for fuck sakes, you really aren’t gonna leave me alone till I say it huh? my parent fucking died. are you fucking happy, lucifer? Jesus Christ.” doing everything in their power to hold back a second wave of tears as they add on “my blessing of a parent died. can we drop the topic now?” they said clearly not wanting to hear anything come out of lucifer's mouth as they hardly give him the chance to speak. 

“ah, I see, my condolences” Lucifer was trying to figure out what to say at the same time he was trying to figure out how to cheer them up or at least make them more comfortable. “do you want some Kleenex? how about some water?” lucifer inquired simply.

“water would be nice.” they let out a sigh. 

“im sure your parent was a lovely person. I think it is safe to assume that they’ll end up somewhere where they are safe and happy” Lucifer states simply as he holds a hand out to them to help them to their feet.

“I have no doubts about it. so you don’t need to tell me twice. it just. . . hurts” They says rather quietly. Accepting lucifer’s hand and pulling themself to their feet. 

”go take a seat in my office, no one will bother you in there. I’ll join you soon enough with your glass of water.”  Mammon

This man probably thinks he did something wrong, spends half the day trying to figure out what he did

if its not that he is trying to figure out who pissed them off and who he should be yelling at.

he hates to admit it but he doesn’t like seeing them angry or upset. 

is probably gonna be first to realize that they slipped of to somewhere and start trying to find them right away. 

after checking a few other areas, Mammon finally considers they might have just gone home to hide. knocking on their door and slowly opening it mammon calls out into the room “Oi, human are you in here?”. 

“Go away Mammon” they were heard but very muffled as they had encased themselves in several blankets, clearly sounding like they were crying. unless they choose to eat gravel or something. 

“what’s got you so bumbed out?” Mammon said fully entering the room now know that they were in the room and completely ignoring their request to go away. 

“I said go away, I don’t want to talk about it” They said pulling the pillow to their head in hopes to block out more of the world. so that they didn’t have to look up and face the fact they were a hot mess. so mammon didn’t have to see them like this.

“no! the great mammon isn’t leaving till you say what's bothering you! that way I can fix it for you!” Mammon declared boldly. goofy grin on his face hoping that his optimism would help cheer them up. 

“you can’t fix this. you cant bring back the dead. well unless you use necromancy, but. that's never worked out” They had let out a dry laugh for saying all of this. but now they were holding back tears trying to not cry their heart out for a second time.

“oh human...” Mammon was at a loss of words, though to be fair he didn’t get the time to form a full sentence. 

“I’ll never get them back. they were practically an angel” they sniffled, trying to not sob. “my parent died mammon. what the fuck am I going to do?” they didn’t really expect an answer from mammon. 

“Listen here, the great mammon will deal with all the technical talk, and will make sure you can go to the human world long enough for you to do what you need to. but till then and maybe after, I’ll be here for you.” mammon explained simply. 

after letting out a chocked sob they reached out a hand and grabbed onto mammon's arm. “thank you” they sobbed out. mammon just sat there and patted the blanket pile gently trying to give as much comfort as he could. 

“do you want a hug?”

“please-”

Leviathan

since he hides away and does online classes (Correct me if im wrong) he might not even realize something is going on

unless he messages them and doesn’t get a response. 

will ask if the others have seen them and like will try to figure out where they were last seen.

eventually puzzles together that something is wrong and he should look for them

Satan

He although wrathful himself, isn’t able to see through the anger and might be a little annoyed about them for being so.

though he does understand that there is probably a reason for them being upset. he’ll do his best to figure out what caused them to act this way.

he’s stubborn and straight forward, he’ll probably be direct and ask what is wrong and wont leave till he gets an answer.

or he might occasionally bring it up and keep getting updates with how their doing kind of thing.

doesn’t really have to seek for them when they hide away because he watched them slip away and got worried and followed them

Asmodeus 

he is very quick to realize something more is going on, something more than meets the eye. 

probably doesn’t directly do anything at first other than same some sugar coated words in hopes it cheers them up.

when that doesn’t work, he gets very worried and tries to convince them to do somethings to ‘take your mind off of things’ 

knows exactly where to look to find them. first try!

Beelzebub

one of two ways, he either doesn’t notice anything for the first little bit, or he has a strange feeling nagging him that something is wrong and he tries to figure out what.

once its clear that they’ve disappeared he is quick to start looking, might take a while to find them because he is gonna check everywhere to find them.

bear hugs no questions asked, will try to comfort to the best of his abilities. 

will ask them what they want to do after a while to see what he can do to make them feel better

Belphegor

tbh honest probably knows something is up right away. 

with either avoid it entirely or bluntly ask what is wrong

if he doesn’t get a direct answer or is shooed away he doesn’t have the energy to push for the truth, might be a bit annoyed.

once he hears that they have gone missing it probably wont take him long to find them. 

will sit down next to them and be like ‘now will you tell me what is wrong?’

Solomon

since he doesn’t have the same amount of time with them he may not notice at first. or he does notice ASAP because holy shit what happened why are they so mad.

might try to inquire what is wrong and like use his natural charm to try to cheer them up. 

when he hears they are lost or missing ect. he uses magic to find them as quickly as possible. 

will do a bunch of considerably silly and goofy things trying to get them to smile or laugh before trying to get them to talk about whats bothering them

Simeon 

doesn’t take him long to figure out something is wrong, just one look and he knows

but other wise, he’ll simply ask if you want to talk about it. when bluntly rejected he’ll leave them alone

they go missing during the day? maybe it was worse than he first realized, he’ll go looking for them.

will find them within the hour, maybe a half hour if he’s lucky. 

mans will try to comfort them any way he can.

_____________________________________________________________ sorry, for not doing Diavolo, luke and barbatos, i just didn’t really have the time to do them nor could i figure out how to do ones for them so like aihogdsifh sorry. but i do hope you enjoy this post nonetheless. 

[makiema]

absolutely love it when people are like I dont think anyone understands the ending and thats why they are hating it yes sure sis i absolutely do not understand

why armin would condone Eren genociding 80% of the world

why eren’s answer to everything is i wanted to see a blank canvas, my thoughts are messy bc time is non linear in my mind, idk man it had to happen anyways i love mikasa, and ymir chose mikasa but why? that is between god and isayama.

i also absolutely do not understand why historia is suddenly an ethnonationalist accepting whatever eren did + leading Paradis as a fascist leader

i absolutely do not understand how in gods name a character who has always looked beyond, sought freedom and justice and explicitly stated that the ones inside the walls and the ones outside are the same would not fight against his visions and would stomp on 80% of humanity bc “i wanted to see a blank canvas” and i absolutely do not understand the point of introducing the “everyone is born special” theme in the story if 80% of the everyone in question is gonna get rumbled.

i also do not understand the absolute madagascar-esque idea of making someone reiterate the necessity to fight, move forward, live freely, live with dignity, and most importantly, the right to exist and belong in this world irrespective of being special/not to not only turn out to be anti thesis of said qualities but to actually revoke 80% of the population’s right to exist for NO GOOD REASON bc guess what war is inevitable and “we may have to wipe each other out after all” like we didnt know already that meaningless genocide doesnt solve anything? i dont think anybody actually thought that was the answer to anything but then why do it in the first place? the fact that isym makes eren dodge everyone one of armin’s “but why?” question including the point of such unnecessary horrror w some boring shit abt forest, river and a blank canvas explains p well that there was no point. it really is isayama admitting he bit off more than he can chew.

you can say that him resolving the two other plot points— beauty/cruelty theme and the titan question is good writing and the other characters moving on and trying to achieve peace leaves a good taste in the mouth and yes i agree w it but you cant just say—

assassinating a character by deliberately writing him along the lines of a character who you know was poorly handled (yes im talking about Daenerys)

leaving so many unresolved themes (freedom from the threat of extermination? not found. relief from a caged existence? not found. possibility of co-existence? just hinted at) unexplained elements + plotholes (source of all life? poof ymir fritz? poof historia’s pov? poof)

making a mess of your narrative (make people feel for eren and share in his cause only for him to do a 180 degree of everything he stood for and if this is not enough “irony” then heres the icing on the cake: the first ever tragedy that befell the tragic hero was a result of his own doing. so yeah its all just a big joke)

let alone that absolute bullcrap excuse of “pain of love” (toxic misogynist het bs in fucking 2021? i think NO altho hardly shocking considering the protag’s bestie thanks him for genociding) are things that every reader has the right to resent and refute.

[lunaflvms]

girl- this is why i take back my apology. i didnt mean it. well, at least not to you.... and maybe i will take off anon, its not like i post anything anyways lmao. ur friends r so much better then you!!! at least they're not much of a bitch as u are. i feel bad for hating on liv, as i realized her heart is so pure to forgive and forget. but now, im realizing, maybe its not liv i should've went after. maybe it was you. your attitude and everything is hideous. so idgaf if u forgive me or not. i was apologzing to liv anyways, not you. ur so nasty and trash like who would even like you. people like u make me want to burn my head off. i hope when u go to bed a monster under ur bed tickles ur feet and drags u under forcing u to eat live cockroaches🤣 and ik u and liv r like "bffs" so after i send this, probably just gonna be more drama w her too. but idc anymore, i tried to be a better person and accept what i did was wrong, but if ur gonna keep being a bitch then i didnt mean shit i said. wash ur filthy mouth out with soap why dont you.

- anon😍💢

hello anon 😋👆 mann u said u realised ur mistake but still send hate on anon 🥺🥺 wow do i piss u off that much do i have that effect on you 🥺🥺 dont worry my parents are the same 🤣🤣🤣 maybe thats why they treat me so bad 😱😱 ik liv is so sweet honestly i dont get how shes so sweet sometimes like all the things youve said to her and her moots, not everyone can forgive and forget you said some really disgusting things like in my previous ask you spelt chohees name wrong like chohehe? which is so easy to get right? seems racially motivated to me 🤨 like are u mocking her name or what, and magic dont even get me started you literally called her disgusting for having he/they pronouns and being a lesbian, that’s homophobic, you expect someone to just forgive you with just one apology? after all you’ve said wow, if only it was that easy, words hurt you know, what if these hate asks actually got to someone and they did k1ll themselves im talking about people like you sending hate on anon, you may not be so bad but other people like you sending hate can effect someone and one simple apology can change all of that? wow u must be so pathetic thinking ur actions wont get consequences im so sorry for being a bitch to you because u sent nasty asks to my moots 🥺 im sorry that i cant put u in ur place cuz people like you are the reason people get hurt on the internet 🥺 just because u can say something rude doesnt mean i cant say something back? you didnt even try to be a better person i didnt even see ur apology until after i posted a response to you, if ur upset about that think about how u sent hate asks to all of us, if u let my response to ur hate ask upset you think about how ur hate asks effected us 🤨 besides i only defended myself and my moots and called u pathetic which you are 🙁 you cant expect everyone to accept ur apology and forgive and forget like liv did, shes just so kind and sweet and you decided to send hate to her for no reason, why dont u wash ur nasty mouth cuz all i remember is you started this and i just responded back the same way you did 😒 if u wanna be the better person why dont u stop sending hate and leave me alone idc anymore

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

Alright let's try this Soulmate body switch AU I'm also attempting this whole "make a tag" thing... bare with me, ive only actually used this app for like 4 days now im gonna go with "RayMakesSoulmates" for now... uhm, idk what else to go with uhhhhh yeah, names Ray btw...

Okay here we go. The idea of switching bodies is something a bit strange to me so let me make this work for me.

Basically it happens once a year after you either turn 17 or meet your soulmate. If its the latter then there has to be alot of turmoil and confusion on one side to trigger the first switch because it does not happen at the first encounter. However after the first encounter you'll sometimes have little blurry dreams that are in fact core memories of your soulmate. But theyre always too blurry to point out who's involved and sounds are too muffled to pin point any specific noises words or what have you.

Now, the dreams don't happen every night but they happen often enough that you are made aware that you have met your soulmate at some point recently.

So after Zuko visits the south and they begin their cat and mouse game around the world Zuko often has blurry dreams of white with black falling what he thinks is people screaming and what he knows is muffled crying. While Sokka has random dreams of what he thinks is someone moving away into the darkness and someone screaming out to them but he can't figure out what they're saying. Another dream he has is a blurry glow of bright blue and crying. There's also one that shows up more often than the other two, its when he sees what he believes is someone moving towards him saying something, but its muffled, then a bright light and muffled screaming and crying.

However after Ba Sing Se Sokka has a dream that's clear and vivid, not muffled and not blurry. After he takes a moment from shooting up to a sitting position he realizes that this is not a dream, he's switched bodies. Standing up and moving the blankets off of him he looks around and sees the there are fire nation items everywhere, it looks like he's in a royal bedroom. He elects to keep calm as he moves towards where he thinks is a bathroom, he is correct and when he looks into the mirror he freezes. His heart drops into his stomach. Sokka can hardly believe what he's looking at. Staring back at him is not his face, but Zuko's. He reaches up to touch the scar on Zuko's face. While yes he has control over his body and he doesn't exactly know how to act 'firenation' let alone 'fire nation royalty' he stands straight. "This won't last longer than 3 hours." He reminds himself

"What won't last longer than three hours?" Azula's voice breaks through

Instantly on edge and irritated Sokka- ahem Zuko turns to Azula "what do you want Azula?" He says in a voice thats much less irritated, theyre siblings right? So they have to be chummy right

"Oo! You sound so much less angry!" She muses "disgusting, anyways, Mai wanted me to let you know she's leaving today"

Why would he care about that? Oh they must be friends? Maybe they're dating? Okay, don't screw this up "uh, okay"

"Aw don't be so sad Zuzu~ you two would have never worked out anyways, her and Ty Lee switched bodies just three days ago. It was honestly was kind of amusing watching her string you along" This is not how siblings normally talk to eachother. He just glared at Azula "alright alright sheesh, ill leave you alone" he found something to write on and quickly jotted down the conversation because if he was given that information Zuko would need it.

Meanwhile Zuko shot awake and found himself lying next to appa Katara and Aang, so he is alive huh? Confused he figured he must be dreaming until he realized his vision was clear and nothing was muffled. He was below deck on a fire nation ship. He paused a moment before he stood and noticed Sokka's boomerang beside him. He lifed it and saw Sokka in the reflection. His reaction seemed to mirror(haha get it) Sokka's when he saw Zuko in the mirror. But he dropped the boomerang and it made a loud bang which woke the other two up "Sokka what are you doing, the sun is barely up"

He paused and cleared his throat. Okay, sure he's been chasing them he needs to not blow this "uh, sorry, nightmare"

Katara shifted and turned to him, a genuine look of worry in her eyes "do you want to talk about it?" She asked in a tone that reminded him of his mother. Genuine love.

He forced himself not to tear up at the memory and just shook his head "no, I honestly can't remember it. Just scared me is all" the hesitation in Katara's expression before she responded was strange to him

"Alright, if you say so, do you mind going and asking dad to change the course? We need to stop and get supplies"

His hesitation and expression probably made her realize what happened "okay, youre not Sokka right now are you?" He froze and nodded slowly "alright, you dont have to tell me who you are, but I'll help you through the motions, Aang and I switched back in Ba Sing Se, that was the day when you questioned why I said I'd fly around, er- or that was when Sokka questioned me" okay she was a little more accepting of this than he thought.

"Uhm, okay, yeah, right, uhm, I don't want to blow this so can you just uh show me around? I'm sure Sokka knows all the people he's- oh agni he's gonna meet my dad" zuko internally cringed.

In that moment it seemed to click with Katara "alright, so you're telling me your Zuko"

Zuko flinched and backed up against the wall "look I dont know what you want me to do about this, but I promise you that I'm not going to ruin anything, I know I messed up, hell Sokka's probably noticing that my family doesn't work like yours does. I've been so confused my whole life okay, I'm sorry I betrayed you in Ba Sing Se, my sister has a way of manipulating me. I just hope he doesn't get hurt, he probably doesn't know he needs to keep his mouth shut in my family." Zuko was panicking when Katara reached out

"Zuko, zuko what do you mean?" Her voice shaky

"Look I cant tell you everything, I cant tell you my life story not right now, I need to get through with this. If we meet again, which I hope we do, ill tell you then. But right now, please just show me what Sokka goes through day to day. I know he's not gonna like what happens on the other end, I just hope it doesn't go too bad."

Katara nodded "alright well. Let me walk you around and let you learn the peoples names, ill just say hi to them and say their names." She paused "but first, tell me about your mother, i dont know if I believe it anymore"

He sighed before telling her the entire story.

Meanwhile at the palace Sokka was sitting in a war meeting knowing to keep his mouth shut unless spoken to. He didnt want to set people off or let them know he wasn't actually Zuko. The topic of the earth kingdome came up and Ozai turned to him "Zuko, you've spent time among the Earth kingdom citizens. What information do you have?"

"Uh, the Earth kingdoms citizens are strong willed and hopeful, as long as they have hope they will not yeild"

"Hmmm, I see, we need to crush their hope"

"Well, thats not what I-"

"I think we should take their precious hope and burn it to the ground!" Azula cuts in

"Yes, yes good idea Azula" Oh no

About an hour after the meeting the switch flipped, Sokka made notes about everything that he found important in time before the switch was over.

After they switched back Sokka found his sister and grabbed her shoulders "Katara, I have to tell you something, I just got back from a body swit-"

"And your soulmate is Zuko? I know, he cried when I was nice to him, what happened on your end?"

"Well, his whole family is mean to him"

"Figured"

"I was in a war meeting and found out their plan for the comet"

After relaying the information he found they discussed it with Aang.

Let's skip ahead to after the failed invasion and to the air temple when Zuko shows up.

"Hello, Zuko here"

No fighting it in this one

"Get your jerk bender butt over here" Katara and Sokka said practically in unison.

>im gonna wrap it up here. And yes Katara would notice its not Sokka and would totally pick up on Zuko, she's observant

>and no Azula wouldn't notice at all because she's used to Zuko being stand offish with her. Plus Sokka is so much better at impersonations than Zuko

@chaoticidiott @roman-does-nothing @bisexuallsokka @transzukostanblog

I dont know if I did this AU justice, I tried.

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging HSMTMTS s2x6

okay fiiiiiiiiinally ive been waiting all day to watch this.

so from what i've seen...i'm tentatively predicting that my new main ships will be portwell and ricky/therapy

lesssss goooooo

--

not if you liked them back kourt *wink wink* then its hard for you to see if they like you

oh north high again

i keep forgetting about this storyline

'village idiot'

idk why that made me laugh im sorry

omg imagine a legit group chat with seb and ej tho

someone write a chatfic about this please

portwell sitting next to eachother hehehe

'friendship' *gina looks at ricky* oh boy

asdlfjalhsdfjasdf

"im waiting for a sign" *camera pans to the exit sign*

so everyone that predicted the rose getting a song yall deserve your money's worth

ricky you fought for her to get in the show yet you cant let nini focus on her song for the show

wtf

i need to back this up

ive never done this before actually backing up an episode during a liveblog

"i can't believe you're finally back in the show yet you're spending saturday without me"

RICKY

SIR

MR SIR

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

she needs to focus

you need to focus

so miss jenn and ricky's dad are finally going on a date

aight

big red and nini convooooooo yesss

i do like kourt and howie's banter

JHLDJAFHLDSJFSDVBXMNSLDHLA

ricky: hey G

gina: *ignores*

ej: *smooth* may i have this exercise

see ricky you cant expect gina to always be there when you treat her the way you have been

poor carlos

hah remember what i said at the beginning of this? thats all i gotta say hehe with kourt and howie

............did

did ricky

spam her literal paragraphs of text

when she has told him she needs to focus

and ricky's freaking out over nini not liking hawaiian pizza

........

this is the type of clinginess that really does turn me off

especially back in highschool

ricky honey you really need some help

man poor ashlynn

ashlynn is going to kill it as belle because she's gonna be sooooooo genuine whereas im sure lily's gonna come off as very superficial in the part

look at ej's concerned expression when gina's struggling in the exercise

the one thing i do like about miss jenn's date so far is i think this is a nice way of getting to know both of the characters more

awwwww the date went well

RICKY

WHAT

SIR

i mean that was kinda funny ngl

BUT

oooooooooooo thats a great answer ej

"i'd ask him if he'd ever love anyone after belle"

but...did gaston ever truly love belle tho

ricky :(

he really doesnt like change does he

im glad the show is trying to address this

awwwww the gina and ashlynn heart to heart

i do love their friendship

omg she confessed her feelings for ricky

she actually did it

this entire time

he knew

and he still

this entireeeeeee tiiiiiiiime

the only excuse he has is that somehow he got it in his mind that he either thought gina moved on from him or ricky interpreted gina's confession as a friendship thing

but still

good lord ricky you need to calm it with the clingy

even nini isnt feelin it

.............

meanwhile lily is still spying

interesting i thought kourt was a gryffindor--although i can see her being a gryffindor/hufflepuff combo hehe

but ravenclaw works too!!!

yessssss ashlynn sing your heart out

and this is why she's going to be an amazing belle

i hate seeing gina in this much pain

yea kourt you be honest!!!

i love herrrrrr

howie drumrolled before her confession

thats really cute

hahaha

i love straightforward stuff like this

the harry potter geekiness <3

i really hope ricky's dad realizes somethings off now since he and miss jenn ended things because of ricky

aight nini lets hear the rose song

so........basically everything i said and thought about rini as a relationship

nini's song confirms it

confirm what a lot of people have been saying about rini

also this song is amazing <3

WE LOVE NINI DECIDING TO LIVE FOR HERSELF

olivia's soprano range <3

yea rip rini next episode

--

Alright, so. I ship Ricky with Therapy (Rickerapy) and Gina with Happiness (Hapina). That’s my final stance for a while. I’m very curious on where they take Portwell. If Rina’s gonna happen then...I’m honestly not sure how I feel about it? Like I still enjoy the idea of Rina, and it’ll be a lot better than Rini (I think) but...no guy is worth that much pain and heartache Gina’s dealing with. 

I guess if Ricky ends up working through his fear of change, learns better communication skills, and accepts/confronts his own feelings a lot better and treats Gina like the amazing person she is and makes it up to her then maaaaaaaaaaybe I’ll be on board with Rina in the end.

But yea, I’m definitely vibing more with Portwell rn.

Also, Nini deciding to live for herself. It’s such a good peak for her arc this semester I’m pretty happy.

Finally, while I’m giving Ricky a lot of shit, as I said in my previous live!blog--I still like his character and everything is very consistent with what we’ve seen from season 1. If anything, I’m really excited to see his arc come to a head and what comes after!

(someone plz write a seb and ej friendship chat!fic)

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.