#apologies if i forget to finish any sentences or spelling or grammar is messed up adhd brain did not let me write any of this in order

[karlnaping]

// ranboo situation

im gonna say this as as my opinion and lesbians feel free to drop your opinions bc im curious about what the rest of you think too

if you havent yet heard about ranboos apolgoy, he basically was apologizing for screenshots of his discord back in october when he joked about being a "lesbian himbo man" and generally being told that he dresses like a lesbian

now, as a lesbian i was originally very confused about why he was apologizing, and it's because that joke came from lesbians. same with the "cant believe tommys a lesbian" clip and people calling george a cottagecore lesbian with his mushroom house. it was a very popular joke among lesbians at the time, and obviously its almost impossible to know if a chat member or a dono is coming from a lesbian, but in the situation that it is or generally lesbians making the joke, i feel like its fair game for streamers to play along/repeat it, because for the most part lesbians arent uncomfortable abt it because they were the ones who started it

obviously, the issue is when non-lesbians start to make the joke. because i do get the "dont enforce lesbian stereotypes/use them as an aesthetic/make them the butt of jokes" when it comes to non-lesbians, which is the same for like,,, any sexuality really. (for any lesbians, tho, feel free to make the joke because you Are allowed to)

the issue is that mcyttwt and the fandom in general just keeps coming back to digging up old clips and screenshots over and over again even though we keep saying stop, and its always a minority that doesnt actually affect them. (90% sure the person who first brought up the screenshot wasnt even lesbian) this happened with the karl situation, despite it being obvious that he changed and obviously doesnt support any form of antisemitism/homophibia/racism. ranboos situation may seem a little bit different because it was only 6 months ago, but even still, ranboo caught himself and deleted the screenshots a While before they were brought up recently. he's been nothing but supportive to the entire lgbtq+ community, of course he's not going to be lesphobic. (personally i dont even consider the comments lesphobic, bc again, popular joke at the time, but to each their own) literally all youre achieving is reminding minorities that sometimes people suck.

at the same time though, people change, which is why bringing up screenshots and clips that dont reflect who ccs are anymore is just ridiculous at this point imo

i also think its different sexuality-wise compared to jokes about race or religion because unlike race which you can see right away, or typical religious indicators, sexuality isnt something that can exactly be defined unless verbally being told. like a lot of people say, youre white before youre anything else. thats not something that you can hide. (again, saying this as a white lesbian, so lmk if im out of line for this. also not trying to say that lgbtq+ oppression isnt real, relevant, or severe)

i will say, although i personally believe the apology was unnecessary and just kind of annoying that mcyttwt does this like once a month (i say as a member of mcyttwt), im glad he owned up to something and told people to both not say he did anything wrong because he Did make a mistake, telling people its ok and understandable if they dont support him anymore/he wont be mad, as well as turn off chat and ask people to not accept the apology if theyre not lesbian, as well as make multiple tweets about it. i think going forward in the event that a cc DOES make that kind of mistake and its ACTUALLY recent and not an old screensh, if they choose to address it on stream this should be the standard

and thats not to say that its not valid if it did make you uncomfortable if you are lesbian because no lesbian is the same nor have the same experiences. so however you choose to take the situation/his apology is up to you.

tl;dr i personally accept ranboo's apology as a lesbian even though i think it wasn't rly necessary bc he was just repeating a joke that lesbians had already made (as well as one i personally do not find offensive) and we should once again stop bringing up old screenshots and clips from ccs if they dont reflect their opinions anymore, ESPECIALLY if its a minority group youre not in because its not actually helping anyone. i do think his apology was well executed tho for being on stream and should be the standard for the future.

at the end of the day, watch who you wanna watch, support who you wanna support, just dont speak over minority groups, bring up old stuff thats not relevant to any minority group youre in, or accept apolgies if youre not apart of the affected minority group

feel free to yell at me, this is just my opinion. lesbians lmk y'alls takes

[tavi-hayes]

side fic one ~ a series of very unfortunate events

((hiii! here’s a little side fic with some lovely rps with chris @leanarg​ and anna @arin-schreave​ thank you both! ignore all the spelling and grammar mistakes, as you always have to do with my writing woops...))

“Lady Octavia, what have you done?” one of my maids, Carla, almost screams at me. I can’t tell if she is angry, upset or disappointed. Or a mixture of all those things.

I’m looking at the mess I created, “it was an accident, I just wanted…”

Carla sighs, “accident or not, now I’ll be the one to clean it again.”

“I - I can do it myself,” it’s not like changing bed sheets is something new to me. At home I had to do it all the time, especially when little Arlan had been going through the peeing-in-bed phase.

Carla gives me a pointed look, “no, you’ve done enough. Please go!”

All the other girls seemed to have gotten friendly maids, but I was stuck with the one with a sour personality. I collect my iPod and my headphones, where do I even go to?

As I am about to leave, my other maid Willa enters the room. She gasps, “what on earth is that?”

Sour Carla shoots me an enraged look, narrowing her eyes at me. “Someone thought it was clever to eat ice cream in bed.”

There was in fact a gigantic brown stain on my bedding. The cause: chocolate ice cream. I hadn’t been paying attention as I wanted to grab one of the law books from my bedside table. I had reached over, pulling the blankets with me and then the bowl tipped over, creating a mess.

I don’t feel like being in this room anymore. Before I close the door behind me, I hear Carla say, “she’s supposed to be a lady, not one of those savages.”

To let them know, I actually heard that I close the door. With a bang.

Now that I’m in the hallway all by myself, I feel like I can breathe again. My head is pounding, why is that I always end up in situations where people just bring me down?

Still unsure of where to go, I take the stairs down to the main floor. The door to the women’s room catches my eye. Please let it be empty. Please!

I open the door and peak inside: empty, thank god! But as I open the door further my eye lands on someone else. She hasn’t noticed me yet, so I decide to clear my throat softly, “uh, hi?”

The girl doesn’t even look up from her work, “hey…”

Wow, okay. “Do you mind me being here? Or would you rather be on your own?” I keep my hand on the doorknob, ready to leave again.

It seems like I got her attention now, “oh, hello!” she says as she turns her face towards me, “You are fine, I can continue this later,” pointing towards her work.

Nodding I say, “okay cool,” I walk over to one of the sofas in front of the window and sit down. I pull my legs up in an attempt to make myself comfortable. Then I focus on the other girl again. I’m not sure if I have been seen her face before during the meals. My guess is that she is another selected, but given the fact that I also didn’t know the ex-fiancée from our wonderful prince I decide to ask for a confirmation anyway, “you're also a selected right?”

That makes her laugh a little bit, “yes, I am,” she says as she puts her stuff on her lap, turning towards me. “I’m Leana Grant and you are ...?”

Phew, I feel relieved that she not actually an old flame from the prince. Her name, Grant, does ring a bell but I’m unsure where I’ve heard it before.

“Octavia but please call me Tavi,” I can feel a yawn coming up, so I bring up a hand to cover my mouth, “nice to meet you.”

“Seems like you need some good rest, Tavi,” Leana says with a raised eyebrow. Please, tell me something I don’t know.

“Yeah I still need to get used to the time zone difference and it’s only a 2-hour difference,” I flip my hair over my other shoulder, “so what were you doing in here?”

For some reason unknown to me, she moves a bit uncomfortably in her chair, “just distracting myself a bit, the change of habits it’s hard as well...” she pauses before changing the subject, “what would you been doing right now back at your province?”

“Uhm I don’t really know what the time is right now, but I would probably be at work,” that seems like the safest answer. I yawn again. Maybe I should go to bed early tonight, then I remember the situation in my bedroom and I immediately don’t feel like going back there anymore. “Do you miss your life back home? What did you do to fill your day?”

“Not exactly miss, no, college and I work for a newspaper, The Globe, but maybe you haven’t read it...” Leana waves it off, but the mention of a newspaper my attention rises. I feel fully awake all of a sudden.

“Wait,” I narrow my eyes, “you work for a newspaper? So you're a journalist?”

My pulse quickens, please don’t be a journalist, be a photographer, an editor, anything else.

“Yes I am.”

A memory resurfaces: my mom sitting on a chair in the kitchen, crying. Myself trying to comfort her. A doorbell ringing. ‘I’ll go get it,’ I tell her. But as I open the door to see who it was, a billion camera flashes blind me.

“What do you write about?” I ask Leana. The Globe. One of the newspapers to write about my dad’s arrest. And instead of writing the freaking truth, they turned my dad into the most dangerous criminal Illéa had ever seen.

“Um, does it matter?”

People with recording devices and cameras push forward. I can barely keep them from entering our house.

“How does it feel having a criminal in the family?”

“How many skeletons are there in your father’s closet?”

“Are you his accomplice?”

“Care to comment?”

“Ever felt the urge to kill?”

“Did you know…”

“Our sources claim…”

All the voices blur together, I quickly close the door and lock it. I do the same with the back door. Telling Aria and Arlan to go join mom in the kitchen, I close the curtains and barricade the front door with the sofa.

I narrow my eyes at the girl, I see her in a completely different lighting now. “From my own experience, lots of people working in the news sector only focus on making headlines not even caring if the news they’re selling is even true.”

The next day, the headlines in every newspaper had been about my dad. Writing their own version of the story. Making it thrilling, exciting, scary just to get people to read their dumb paper.

Leana starts laughing at me, “you mean making statements without further information...?”

I can’t even hear her properly anymore. I’m seeing red. All the anger and hurt that I’ve kept hidden for so many years, takes control of me. I can’t push those emotions down anymore.

Collecting my stuff from the sofa, I stand, “you are all the same,” I roll my eyes, “only caring about landing the big story.”

“Such an accusation would require proofs and I doubt you have any.” Her voice is way to calm for my liking.

Pfft, she is just like the other press. “just open your eyes, maybe read some articles your beloved newspaper has published.” I can’t stand to be in the same room as this girl anymore, I need to calm myself down. Walking over towards the door, I say, “you news people are just using everyone as pieces in your chess game, and that's wrong!”

Leana keeps her perfect composure, “alright this sounds like a personal problem.” Her eyes narrow at me, just when I open the door, “do you care to share?”

Why would I want to share anything with her? “I'd rather not,” in the most sarcastic way possible I add, “I wouldn't want to read about it in the newspaper tomorrow.”

She walks past me out of the room, before I even have the chance. “Well, I will tell you then that the press wasn’t really the problem.”

I scoff, “and what was the problem then?”

She frowns, but I can tell she is faking her confusion, “thought you didn’t trust the press.”

I want to get away from her as quickly as possible, “wow what a joy you are.” I start walking away, not hearing anything else she says, and not looking back once.

In my head I’m trying to push my feelings back behind that the solid wall inside of me again. They shouldn’t have broken free, but that girl was just saying all the wrong things. All I can see is an image of my dad’s unconscious body being dragged out of the court room.

That was the last time I saw him. I feel my eyes becoming watery. Actively trying to think about nicer things, like music and my band, make me forget my surroundings completely. I don’t see the other person walking directly in my path. Until I run it them, literally.

An oof escapes from the other person.

“Just look where you’re…” I don’t finish my sentence when I see who it is, I’ve run into, “oh, I’m sorry!”

The prince ignores me completely, already crouching down on the floor to pick up his papers which have scattered everywhere. “I should have been paying attention”

“Yeah you should have,” that sounded way harsher than I intended, plus I need to remember that this is the person who could send me home any minute. I crouch down as well and try help him picking up his papers. “I'm sorry though, it is also my fault.”

He looks at me, “My apologies, Lady.......”

Well, how great is this? He doesn’t even remember me. I guess I didn’t make a good impression on him during the interview after all. I just blink at him, confused myself. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one with curly hair, but okay… “It’s Octavia. We’ve met before you know.” I collect some more of the fallen papers.

“Yes,” he nods, “I remember.” He reaches for the papers in my hands, instead of being the annoying little child everyone claims me to be, I hand them over immediately. “You're the one who likes Dutch love songs?”

Another blow to my ego, “I'm just gonna ignore the fact that you don't remember me, but who on earth likes Dutch love songs?” Flipping my hair over my other shoulder I say, “I know quite a bit about music, so I can say the Dutch and music do not go together at all.” I realize I’m being a little bit aggressive right now, sighing I add, “but okay everyone can like whatever they want to like, I suppose.”

“I imagine the Dutch would disagree…” he neatly piles the rest of the papers, then looks at me again. “Are you the one that churns butter?”

“What?” I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that he doesn’t even remember a little bit about me, or the fact that he thinks I look like a butter churner. I can only stare at him. “Someone can churn butter?”

At that the prince nods a little, “I think so...?” He shifts uncomfortably, “oh, sorry... I forgot to ask if you're okay.”

“Oh yeah I'm fine, nothing I can't handle.” I clear my throat softly, realizing I probably should have asked the same thing, “what about yourself? You look a bit dishevelled.”

“Yes, well... Being run into will do that to a person.” The prince takes a deep breath, then says, “why were you going so fast anyway?”

That makes me remember the encounter with Leana. My feelings have been locked away behind that wall again. But it doesn’t sound like a great idea to tell him about my little rampage. Tavi think. “Oh uhm, maybe I just like speed walking,” I say, looking down at my dress and realizing I look dishevelled as well. I try straightening it.

“Inside?” he glances around.

I nod my head, “hmm, gotta keep myself in shape.” Very believable…

That earns me a frown, “alright then... If you say so. Maybe just consider going outside next time.”

“Thanks for the tip, I will keep that in mind.” I nod again. Let’s change the topic. “What were you doing? Are you always walking around with your nose in whatever that is?” I motion towards the stack of papers he has been clutching close to him.

“Oh, they're just meeting notes. But no this isn't normal. Why...? Are you planning on running into me again?”

What does that mean? Unlike other girls here I don’t necessarily feel the need to know his whereabouts. Let me just do my own thing, searching for law books in the library that is.

“If that's what it takes for you to actually remember me, then yes I will make it my daily goal to find you. It's not like I have anything better to do,” I say jokingly.

He just blinks at me, no laugh, no smile, nothing, just those eyes blinking. And he actually takes a few steps backwards, “I have to warn you... Kevin won't like that.”

I genuinely can’t tell if he’s being serious… “I don't know who this Kevin person is,” I sigh, coming to the conclusion that maybe I should clear the air a bit, “but don't worry I won't seek you out if I don't have to.”

“He's my bodyguard...” the prince says before frowning at me, “I'm sorry that I ran into you and if it upset you.”

“What?” Why can he read me like that? I’m over here trying to hide everything I feel, and then this prince comes along and just sees it anyway. Well he doesn’t know the cause of these emotions but still I feel very vulnerable all of a sudden. I furrow my eyebrows, “that's not what upset me. Why do you think that?”

“Because we just ran into each other and you seem unhappy…”

Maybe I’m just not as good at hiding my feelings as I thought I was. “Oh uhm that is not because of you,” I pause for a bit, desperately trying to think of something to say. I start looking around, hoping to find inspiration elsewhere. But luck is not on my side, “just, you know.”

“I don’t,” he says, shaking his head. “But alright…”

“I'm sure you have enough problems of your own, I won't trouble you with mine,” I say flipping my hair again. Why do I keep talking?

The prince frowns at me again, which seems to be his go-to facial expression. “Why do you all think I'm so troubled?”

I didn’t say he was troubled, did I? But if others are saying it as well…? “Maybe it's just the vibe you sent off. But like aren't you going to run this country? I'm sure that isn't an easy task.”

“Well, I don’t think I’m troubled,” the prince states, very convincingly if you ask me. Not. “And I’m sure I’ll do just fine. I have years to get ready.”

I strongly suppress my eyeroll reflex, “okay if you say so.”

His gaze is fully on me again, before he frowns again. “Unless you know something I don’t.”

“It’s just,” I sigh, “no one is perfect. Everyone is fighting their own battles you know.”

“I guess yeah,” the prince says as he glances down at the papers in his hands. “Though I’m not sure a hallway fight was necessary.”

“You…” I’m shocked beyond words, “you consider this a fight?” Had I been too aggressive, too hostile? I genuinely feel bad for making him feel like this was a fight. It was all my fault anyway. Well technically it was all Leana’s fault, but still the poor prince in front of me didn’t deserve to be dragged into this. By me. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to... I will just go,” I say, desperately to end this … whatever this is.

But the prince shakes his head, “no, it was a joke. Uh, I’m sorry. It wasn’t a good one.”

I turn to face him again. Did he just… make a joke? “You almost made me feel bad,” but his words actually made me relax a little, “you have an interesting sense of humour.”

“I’d argue it’s a bad one if I upset you that much.” The prince swallows and shifts a bit awkwardly. Can he please stop reading me?

“That didn’t really have anything to do with you,” I sigh, being very aware I should probably give him some more information. “I was…” I pause again, not really sure how to put it all in a sentence without dumping all my crap on him. “I was upset because of some bad memories,” I look at the stairs again, my only escape, “I can go if you want.”

“You don't have to go if you don't want to. It's just the hallway and you're mostly free to be where you like.”

Free to be where I like, okay noted. “Yeah but I don't wanna keep you from whatever it is you have to do,” I flip my hair again, maybe I should try not to do that so often, “or make you feel awkward in your own home.”

The prince glances around again, “I promise you that you weren’t the person to make it awkward.”

I remember him doing the exact same thing during the interview, “who was it then?” I look around as well, “is it that bodyguard of yours? Is he sneaking around?”

He looks very uncomfortable. Did he not realize it was a joke? “Oh um, no. Kevin isn’t awkward.”

Perhaps someone should teach him how to take a joke, not take life so seriously. I don’t think I’m the right person for that. “Oh well okay,” I shift my weight from one foot to the other, “I won't take up more of your time.” I offer him a small smile. Why? I don’t know. “Sorry for running into you, literally.”

The prince nods his head, “well, I'm sorry I also ran into you. I'll uh... see you around then I guess?”

“I guess you will,” if he doesn’t send me home before that. It takes me a few steps towards the stairs for me to remember the company I’m in. I quickly turn around and drop into a curtsy, “goodbye your highness.”

He raises his eyebrows at that, but then nods, “I'll see you around. Try not to hurt anyone else.”

That makes me chuckle softly, “I can’t promise that.” And with that we part ways.

Before I know it, I’m back in my bedroom again. That weird run-in with the prince had put my mind at rest, I feel much more at rest right now.

I notice the new bedding, making a mental note to thank my maids the next time I see them.

But then I notice my hands being empty. No no no. I must have dropped my iPod in the hallway, the same time the prince dropped his notes. Except I forgot to pick up my own stuff.

I hurry back towards the hall. it must be here somewhere. After at least 20 minutes of me crawling over the floor, looking under sofas, behind flowerpots, everywhere, I realize it’s gone. And my world collapses.