#trying so hard not to need a break

[sketchy-tour]

Aa realizing I'm probably just gonna have to be okay with posting sketches more often.

As much as I love pouring my heart into a piece and showing it off, I am simply not in the headspace nor have the energy to juggle big pieces and everything else.

Aa

[findmeinthefallair]

It can't be overstated how powerful the catharsis is when a scene of a character connecting with their wounded inner child is done right. The key poses...the expressions...the timing...storytelling like this can help to provide some healing for so many people in the audience.

[tzarrz]

to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u

[rockpaperscissuhs]

BAND OF BROTHERS: EPISODE ONE + my favorite closeup shots

[mrmeepsmadmind]

his horns (finials) (idk)(ears)(whatever) shaking... the jumping ??? the struggling 😭 the off center twitching ..he is PISSED. AWF !!!!!!

[opal-owl-flight]

Stepping Up. (Part 1)

I wonder how much Neo3 carries on her shoulders, too.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:

the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")

tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible

bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)

the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")

that is a man who is always thinking about her.

[moodlesmain]

Hi. Look at this.

I just spent two days straight making a digital conspiracy board trying to piece together my favourite genre that isn't really a genre and more just a very particular niche which doesn't really have a name.

If you want to look I reccomend downloading and zooming in on the image to read everything LMAO, I want to try and convert it to a page on my neocities at some point so its easier to view but for now you guys just get a big ol' jpeg. You're welcome :)

[majoris]

hi i feel 100% normal about this scene

[lanshappycorner]

The vampire/human yaoi I have concocted in a lab, view them

[quinloki]

could I ask about either soulmate AU or fantasy AU with Kid, whichever one is more interesting for you? :O thank you!!

Oooh I love both the AUs

Soulmate AU with Kid:

-:- Childhood friends - kind of. You and Kid were in the same grade, in the same school. Your brother Wire was one his friends, though Wire, Heat and Killer were all older than you.

-:- People earned their Soul Marks when they came of age, which was apparently 16 as far as the fates were concerned. Marks would match with your soul mate, but they were so complex, and sometimes in embarrassing places, so people wouldn't realize they were matches until they made physical contact.

-:- You and Kid weren't so lucky though.

-:- You'd been at each other's throats since you were 4 and 5, and the rivalry never ended. You fought physically, verbally, and in any ways made available. you were the top two students in your classes by sheer spite, constantly trying to out do the other.

-:- 10 years you never got along.

-:- Kid got his first, coming into school with two jagged lines down the side of his face. He loved it, said it made him look like more of a bad ass, and it was one of the most easily recognizable marks someone could have. You said of course it was so obvious, a gear-head like him would need something that beats him over the head to get it.

-:- You woke up with yours later and didn't know what to do.

Two jagged lines slipped over your face. It wasn't grotesque, it looked kind of cool, actually, but you were already panicking internally. You knew these marks. Knew these exact shapes.

You'd seen them on Kid's face, and you remember being strangely angry about it. You'd cried after school, the whole weekend you stay locked in your room. Everyone got marks, but the idea that someone else would be so important to him. You fought, you argued, you competed, but you were always in one another's live, even if it was as enemies, you didn't want someone else to come along.

And no one else had.

Standing in the hallway outside class, you watched the cocky grin slip off his face as he turned to look at you. Confusion at first, panic next - you'd seen your own face go through the emotions earlier.

He reaches out to you, electricity zipping through you both at the contact and he pulls you in close, a desperate, heated hug. You can feel his heart racing as he holds you to his chest.

"Heh, seems like I win." He says, voice soft and just for you.

"What are you talking about?" You murmur, unable to think what it was that you were both competing for now.

"I got you, Mouse, what else do I need?"

Send me a character and an AU and I'll give you a treat.

[imavikingo]

I was thinking on when Steve lost Bucky for the 3rd time (1st when he was drafted, 2nd when he was told he was MIA, 3rd when he fell) he tried to get drunk to forget, right? If he did that then...

What did he do when he lost him for the 6th time? (4th when he escaped, 5th when Bucky was in cryo, 6th the snap)

I mean technically Bucky died twice, but Steve lost him six times already.

And of he tried to get blind drunk once of those times- did he self-harm in other ways too?

To dull the pain? He can't get drunk, he heals quickly, he can't die easily either, so what did he do?

He wouldn't want to die when he knows for a fact that Bucky is alive ofc, but I can't see him acting normally or without a little bit of reckless energy.

To dull the pain and disappoinment (he can't feel like that, that's Bucky's choice -Cryo-. But how it hurts him tho).

(unrelated to this line of thought but it is relevant to the idea regardless)

That's why I can't fathom the idea of Steve abandoning Bucky in endgame.

He lost him 6 six (6) times already and he just... Went away? To a woman he only kissed once? After all he did for him, the pain and loss?

Even if you don't ship them, you have to think that to be really ooc on Steve's part. Everything in his character arc in the MCU is related to Bucky (and loss). Yes he liked Peggy, but he didn't suffer nor mourn her the same way he mourned Bucky (She was alive, but had dementia and was also very old, and had her own life).

His feelings for Peggy were more a "what if" and lost possibilities than anything.

She was an idea, a fantasy (that's why Wanda used that when fighting with him, right?). Not something real.

He wanted to be with her, but he didn't really knew her or love her (at least I don't think so).

She was the first woman that saw him for him after all. Before everything. But that's it.

He liked her for that (and her strong personality too) but did he love her? He didn't try to get on dates after he was defrosted because he knew people would only see Captain America, not Steve Rogers. He needed to represent an ideal and knew no one would understand (the pain, loss) and have the patience to be with him. That’s why he also highlighted the shared life experience thing.

So she was comforting, reassuring in a toxic and unhealthy kind of way (memories and fantasy aren't healthy when used like that). But still a what if and lost opportunity. He had to let her go at one point. And he did(!) But they had to fuck it up…

I mean... it's the same thing when you're still hung up on an ex. You want to think of the possibilities, the what ifs, the "what could have been" But when you go back to them nothing is like you remembered, nothing is like you wanted and you are dissatisfied and disappointed.

(Because all of that was in your head, it wasn't real).

And besides, he knew she had a life of her own (a fulfilling one at that) so what, he was selfish enough to fuck that up too? Without helping HIM? Without saving HIM? Abandoning HIM? After just being brought to life? After grieving him for another five years? Bucky was his best friend, his companion, his best pal…

He wouldn't do that to him. He would die before hurting Bucky (as they already stablished for most of the fucking movies) He even was like “You don’t understand” when Peggy talked to him in the bars ruins.

I think in canon (not ooc/EG)Steve would entertain the idea, but would decide to just keep it as that: An idea, a fantasy. And move on like he already did before.

Also the idea that it was a Peggy from an alternative universe is flawed because he abandoned HIS Bucky, even if in the other universe he helped or whatever.

In HIS UNIVERSE he abandoned his best friend? Not believable. And the logic of “oh it didn’t change their timeline because it was another one” is also stupid.

They already fucked up with Steve fighting 2012!Steve and also telling him about Bucky (creating another universe more than likely). And they were supposed to be undetected. Not create new universes. Thats also why I’m so keen on the idea of Steve being in a prison or something. He already fucked up once, twice if you think he went to the past to stay.

How can he be free while fucking up the timelines? Yeah, nah.

Also… they implied Steve can’t age in a movie if I remember correctly…. How did he become old?

And the idea that he went to Peggy because “Tony told him to have a life outside of captain america” is fucked up. So what? He relates his Bucky’s existence with work? FUCK OFF. Endgame Steve is fucked up and the worst character assassination I’ve ever seen.

They were just too annoyed with the fans because we ship Stucky (even tho they used that to promote the movies in panels and stuff, hypocrites -​I remember clearly the producers? of the movie talk about gay characters and the actors talk about Stucky in those panels for then…be one of the russos in like 1 second and have that shit ass, fuck ass ending for Steve and Bucky. That shit was vile-).

im also annoyed with some people that now shit on Steve when umh… did you see the movies? The other movies? Not only Endgame? (Btw the only one that got a “good ending” was Tony because he died as a hero in front of everyone -even tho he didn’t want to help at first because he had a good life, the ONLY ONE OF THEM might I add-, everyone else got worse, is dead or they’re neglected and treated as haha funny character or haha funny moment)

Im all for ships and ideas and headcanons (even when I hate them with passion, you do you) but don’t try and use this character assassination as an excuse to shit on Steve. If you NEED to shit on a character for your ship to work, then you’re not doing a good job at it or your ship sucks. Idk what to tell you.

[lollytea]

Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it

[naamahdarling]

Augh

[snickeringdragon]

this is the coolest thing ive ever made

[floofeeeeee]

Rereading everblaze has been so interesting and I could talk about it for so long but I’m goin to talk about this specific part that had me SOBBING when I first read it (and again the SECOND time I’ve read but for a different reason)

And this is also a reason to complain about the council (I hate them all) (yes ALL of them)

Tw mentions of eating disorders and suicide 



“Instead, all we find is wrong." He turned to stare at Sophie, making it clear he included her in that wrongness,”

I want to talk about this part first before the rest because I find it really interesting. (And because the other parts will be longer) It’s clear to me that the cancel is afraid of Sophie in some kind of way they find her threatening even though she’s proven all she wants to do is help. They’re scared because they know her existence threatens there’s she’s the savior that’s supposed to fix’s the wrongs of their world.their wrongs they know there’s another group out there they know that’s the group that kidnapped Sophie and Dex but instead they fixated oh the black swan because to them it threateners there power and control. they feel the need to keep Sophie under control they need to keep her under their control.

“Sophie foster is not normal.” She closed her eyes as the words rattled around her mind”

This part comes a bit before the first one but that’s because I knew I wanted to talk more about this specifically it hits heard for a couple of reasons I’ll get into.

Gosh…. This part man :( ok let’s start with the fact that the lost cities was a place that was supposed to be where she belong it was supposed to make her feel normal and safe but instead she met with same kind of hate that she got from the humans. Sophie to me feels like a fallen gifted kid someone who was able to get to the top of her class now at the bottom and shamed for it. It wasn’t her fault that she could read minds as a kid and not know how to stop them it wasn’t her fault that she never grew up in the lost cities to learn the ruins everyone grew up learning. And yet they still shame her, for not being normal not being like them because she grew up with humans because she some kind of lab rat someone that’ll hurt there kids and them

They never see her for the child that she is the smart brave funny individual who’s saved their lives more then once no. Because she not normal. she doesn’t act right

As someone who neurodivergent this hits really hard I was constantly told when I was younger by my peers that I was weird. And I’m sure most people who are neurodivergent have a similar experience of being treated differently just because you’re not normal.. 

 “She closed her eyes as the words rattled around her mind”

For so long she been called not normal by almost everyone around her her human mother (even if she never said it to her face) her classmates in school and her classmates now In The place she was told was perfect and safe and were she belong.

GOSH I JUST WANT TO GRAB THEM AND THROW THEM AT THE SUN DIE

She deserves to live a happy life for once :(

“It wasn't until he raised it over her head that she realized what was happening.”

“Two of the Council's bodyguards rushed to her sides, holding her in place as Councillor Emery clamped” the silver band around her forehead.

“The circlet was Dex's telepathy restrictor.”

“The Council was trying to take away her abilities.”

This part makes me sick SICK this was the part that I cried at when I first read it. The realization of what was happening to her felt like I was being hit by a truck. The fact that the council had there bodyguards hold her In Place …… UGHHHHHGGH I want to fall them to in a ditch I swear. they were trying to make her talentless in a weird fucj up way to control her if wasn’t for the fact that her powers are so strong they would’ve forcefully made her disabled. Because that’s what talentless elf’s are to them. It’s how they treat them. It’s how they treat Dexs dad it’s how they treated Brant

I can’t imagine the horror and fear Sophie felt in that moment they had other options but no the reason they chose this one is because they knew it was the best way to keep her under control.

“She knew it was slumberberry tea even before she saw the purple color, and she drank it gladly, downing the whole thing and hoping it knocked her out for a few years—decades-the rest of eternity.”

How do you fuck up so badly that you get a girl WHO REFUSES to drink any kinda of sleeping drug do to the trauma of being kidnapped and drugged against her will. To DOWN like ten of them because of the pain and trauma you’ve brought her.

HOW CAN YOU CAN YOU NOT SEE HOW F UP THAT IS

“Edaline tried to get her to eat something, but she wasn’t hungry”

“All she wanted was more tea.”

I’m thinking back to this post I saw were someone mentioned that Sophie shows a lot of signs of eating disorders. And here it pretty prevalent. Her avoiding eating and avoiding the waking world to me in way makes me think she could be suicidal. She obviously depressed and ashamed. She feels like she should be disowned by her friends and family because she useless now. Or well in her eyes she is. 

“begging begging begging her to wake.”

“So she dove deeper into her drug-induced haze, wishing she could find her way back to the nook in her mind and stay there forever. She'd been happy there.”

“Safe.”

This is where I see it most. All she wants to do is hide in this drug-induced haze, wanting to go back to the nook in her head were she felt Saft warm and happy. But once the drug wears off she back in the living full of a pain and heartache. Where she feels utterly useless and broken. All she want to do is be happy. But because the council are all absolute idiots they decided to make her life a living hell!!! I’ll still never forgive Bronte for inflicting her In Exil still one of the most F up things he’s done.

Anyways I’m tired and if I try to write more it might not come across right oop just know I hate the council !!!

Thanks for reading my nonsense I hope I made sense or a least made a good analysis :D