#try and exercise more too
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Welp, today's the day I finally stepped on a scale after, like, I dunno, years probably? Aaaanndd well... that was a number I haven’t seen there before xd Which is both good and bad.
Bad because I gained a few kgs since the last time and apparently went over the healthy bmi and body fat amount (not by a lot, but like around 1,5 each), if the online calculators are to be believed, but it's also good in the sense this might finally give me enough motivation to kick myself in the ass and start moving goddammit.
I've already been trying to do some light exercises a couple times a week but maybe this will help me up the ante + I have, for the first time in my life, decided to try and count my calories intake. Which is... weird, lmao, but also interesting? I haven’t been eating a lot, tbh, and pretty much no sweets or snacking, I kinda grew out of it? So I guess most of my added weight comes from lack of exercise and maaaybe hormone changes. Ive been on and off the pill several times during the last year-two, currently off for a couple of months, so I think that could’ve thrown my body into alarm mode of gathering fat "just in case".
With the calories intake counting, Im mainly curious to see how much I get in the day when I eat as I normally do and if there's a reason for the weight gain somewhere in there. Like today Im already after dinner and I'll probably only make myself a light supper and won’t even meet the amount the app Im using calculated for me to lose the weight I want (5 kg for now to get back to the healthy bmi scale), so that's very interesting and Im wondering if maybe Im eating less on some days but more on others and that's also making my body "put away" the extra? I don’t actually know how all of this works, so Im just making guesses right now.
And the exercise part, ooof. It didn’t use to be so hard, goodness grace, Im Really out of shape. Tho, I guess the added kgs are impacting me too. Im starting slow, mostly stretching + some squats, some shorter video exercises, the kind. I know it'd probably help to make a regime, but that's only gonna make me miserable, so for now Im setting myself a goal of just Doing Something everyday and whenever I feel stronger, I'll just do more on the day. Otherwise the pressure I put on myself might kill any fun or motivation Id have.
This is pretty much just my personal rambling, which I might turn into a bit of a diary to help myself keep track and all (its weirdly easier to just type up a tumblr post than open up a notebook and write it down? Huh...), so like if anyone got through this whole post, damn, thank you, I guess, hah. If you have any tips, I'd be glad to read them! ^^
Let's see how long this bout of motivation lasts me 😂🙈
#personal#Raksh posts#starting a weight loss journey I guess??#tho those are some big words oof#but yeah I do wanna try and lose some weight#see how my eating habits look rn and try to improve them going further#try and exercise more too#Ive already did around an hour today#mostly stretching plus some weight exercises like squats and big for the arms#I might try some more stretchinf in the eveninf#I know these are very light effort but Im telling myself I gotta start somewhere#little baby steps!#I do need a tag for this hmmm#Rakshs weighty ramblings#alright that'll do for now#feel free to block the tag!#I might make these posts more regular who knows!#gotta try and make myself consistent or something 😅#and now I think Im gonna reward myself with some gaming ^^
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And that’s a wrap for Comic Con 2024! Ha, it was a lot of fun, but I really enjoyed dressing up as Mondo today! I even had a couple people recognize him! And a few others just liked the hair, one of whom asked how long it took me to get my hair like that, which tells me that at least it looks natural enough for people to mistake it as my actual hair, ha.
Overall, Comic Con was cool! On Thursday, I attended a live podcast recording for Braving the Elements, which is an Avatar the Last Airbender podcast hosted by Janet Varney and Dante Bosco (the voices of Korra and Zuko, respectively), and I actually got a trivia question right and I should (hopefully…) get an email from them soon to get a prize for answering the question right. If not… oh well. At least I’ll be featured briefly on the podcast answering trivia correctly, even though I usually suck at trivia, ha.
The rest of the days were a bit more meh, but I still had fun. I won a Pokeball ornament from a Hallmark panel, since I knew how many Squirtles were in the Squirtle Squad, aha. Which leaves my trivia score 2 for 2 at the moment.😅 I also got a free shirt and scarf for the upcoming Yakuza live action show, which was neat. I’ve never played Yakuza, but my brother has, so I was able to give him the shirt at least.
Still, while Comic Con was fun, I’m definitely glad it’s over so I can go home and clean up from my frantic cosplay creating the last several weeks, oof.
Also! On the first day I dressed at Taka, but since I was by myself I only have the one photo my dad was able to quickly take of me before he had to drive off and a quick selfie I took in the car.
#danganronpa#mondo owada#kiyotaka ishimaru#GPOY#ishimondo#personal post#My angry face could do some work ha#I can do a mean death glare. But angry face? Not as much sadly#Oh well.#Oh! And I’m kinda proud of myself with the Taka costume#Not for anything I did on the costume but because I was able to lose enough weight to fit into the cosplay jacket I bought years ago!#It was too small when I bought it and while I got it refunded I didn’t actually return it#Since the company was trying to make me spend $40 to send it back?#And I was like… that pretty much takes up the majority of the cost of the outfit what.#So I never sent it back and still got the money for it#I always thought that MAYBE I would one day lose enough weight to fit it#But I didn’t have much hope of it#But! I have found a good medication that helps with my appetite and I am trying to exercise more#And now the jacket fits!#The pants of the cosplay still don’t but that’s fine#I have white pants ha#Oh also yes my hair did deflate as the day went on ha#I’ll fix it before the next con I decide to wear this costume to#Luckily I didn’t overheat that badly while wearing it#There was one moment where I got very dizzy but that happens every so often with me these days#The heat didn’t help but it didn’t fully cause it either
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/waves. I'm back with more kaishin polls, because why not?
Pick your lovey dovey Kaito~ 😋
(Unfortunately, you'll have to pick your favorite option. xD)
Shinichi's Poll
#kaishin#kaishin polls#I made a tag for it haha... I had too much fun the first time around#I have 2 more thought polls in my head... I'll try to sandwich them between art though!!#apologies for the spam but I love thought exercises hope everyone else enjoys x)
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various ten doodles :)
#dragon ball#tenshinhan#tien shinhan#doodle#tien.thegoat on instagram is having a tien art contest (woo!!!) and this is me brainstorming stuff to draw actually hehe#i want to try painting (digitally) that first one#i saw a post by yuko shimizu on insta that says to finish your stuff and learn from it#... it was more than that but yeah that's one of the takeaways#and im like damn yeah i need to do that#bc i very rarely finish stuff#that cooking sketch too would be a rlly good exercise if i tried to actually complete it#i struggled with it#ik the foreshortening is baddd#so i would learn a lot from taking the effort to actually figure out how to properly draw that#yea#ok rambling over
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january-march 2024
ao3
be sweet to me baby (rosquez) by @moonshynecybin
Not written for me but it came out on my birthday and I considered it the best present possible.
butterfly effect (dovquez) by @lestelledreams
This was so soft. And tender. I was right there with them and it was beautiful.
once and almost completely (bezz/cele) by @crozley
Hot shit. Hot shit.
ace of cups, the fool, eight of wands (bezz/cele) by @baking-soda
Do you wanna know how many times I reread this? Truth is, I don't even know myself.
A House in Nebraska (rosquez) by @austenaire
As a French person, the choice of city in this one is so funny to me but that aside, it was a really nice read, I promise. And that last line is very Vale.
steamroller (rosquez) by anonymous
Yes these two were made to be playful in bed. "So I win?" !!!! Very into the banter there, I don't like being sad but it was okay there, worth it.
this is a love story (rosquez) by @anitalianfrie
Mixed Media AU. Please look at this (on a computer) for the sheer amount of work that went into it. Insanely beautiful.
kill your heroes (rosquez) by @moonshynecybin
PWP to end all PWP. I am so in love, it's so hot and fun and perfect.
young hot trouble (enea/diggia) by @anitalianfrie
Yes. Hot. Give me more.
situations like this (casey/vale) by anonymous
Things that are absolutely delicious in this : the characterization of the two of them, Valentino's lines, Casey's internal monologue, how hot they are.
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omega verse pecco/luca by @baking-soda
rosquez feminization by @moonshynecybin
pecco/luca sex thoughts by @baking-soda
mr. and mrs. smith rosquez by @topnotchquark
virgin sacrifice rosquez by @love-leah
pecco/luca harem au by @baking-soda
abo rosquez with marc's heat by @love-leah
bezz/cele kissing thoughts by @f1vegas
ski resort dovquez by @lastlatebraker
rosquez + marc topping by @baking-soda
rosquez cyborg au by @vanillow
pecco/luca moment by @uwabbittuwabbit
pecco/bezz nightclub moment by @love-leah
rosquez abo + their bond post divorce by @moonshynecybin
rosquez + reporter marc au by @moonshynecybin
bezz/marc body swap by @anitalianfrie
royalty au rosquez by @love-leah
rosquez only fans au by @hotmessmaxpress
marc knows mean (rosquez, bezz/vale) by @thewriters-world
marc/vale/bezz threesome by @moonshynecybin
bezz/cele + confession by @yekoc
And like, this feels a little self-centered but I feel so blessed every time @moonshynecybin develop any kind of FCO AU thoughts (with me and others). Turns out you can admire artists from afar and then work with them months later, how insane is that.
#rpf#favereads#this was mostly an exercise in trying not to list every single thing grace callie and leah wrote on here#also this is already way too long#you can check my “fic” tag for more
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i really wish mental health discourse wasn’t divided into the two polarities of: “everything you do and say and every way you behave is completely valid bc you have ~~✨trauma✨~~” and “there’s nothing wrong with you, mental illness is an invention of big pharma to sell pills, stop whining and just go for a walk”
#like i wish there was more focus on like.....people actually trying to get better and practice healthier habits#without this whole idea that you're just too lazy and sensitive and all you really need is to exercise and meditate#mental health#text
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no........could it be ....? new stretch marks above my hips..............?! quick, someone praise me‼️‼️
#musings#i haven't been walking over 4 miles a day for awhile and ive been eating a lot healthier ^__^ !!#i still need to incorporate exercise into my schedule more just so my hypermobility doesnt cause more issues#but im glad im eating more#im trying to stop taking my adhd meds too so that i can keep my appetite and also. not. have#so many pots episodes#also i truly do mean eating more when i say eating healthier i dont care about diet stuff. i eat what i want forever................ but i#do have to eat
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Hey I feel like you should be alerted to the fact that I LOVE Reeya she is one of those fan characters (and I gather she has versions of her for other settings besides MOTHER, too?) who pops into my mind every so often based on her design. Also the latest drawing of her Mook form you posted reminds me of that Robbie Rotten “Would you like to?” clip
THANK YOU I'm glad she makes such an impression!!! she does have a lot of versions on account of I love her so I shove her into things I like sometimes, including: canon mother (mother 3 specifically), pmd and dnd!!
#risk.png#asks#ocs#ALSO YEAH. YEAH SHE WOULD SAY THAT SHE WOULD LOVE ROBBIE ROTTEN#aufae!reeya was more of a design exercise (aka I haven't played her (yet! want to in at least a oneshot asp))#I Have played her in a whole campaign before and that reeya makes me so extremely normal#BUT I'm refraining for saying too much for now cus we're trying to make that campaign into a webcomic eventually!!#anyways yeah reeya is one of the blorboest blorbos of all time I'm glad other people like her too :3
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tried 2 fix my tablet and i ended up breaking it more
#i just want to draw#its the only thing i have and now i have nothing#i cant get a new one theyre too expensive#everyday is already just endless fights about money between my mom and sister#we went on a drive 4 my mom to go get her cigarettes like 2 hours away and the entire time it was just fighting#drives used 2 be my favourite thing#but it was just stressful#i just wanted 2 come home and cry#and she just kept throwing random jabs out to me about how i need to exercise more and fix my life#like im not trying#like every day i am not desperately just trying to survive and get better
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in honor of the new spider-verse movie i did a quick study of one of my favorite shots from the original !! <33
#my art#spiderverse#spider-verse#into the spider-verse#miles morales#i know everyone in the world has studied this shot! now i have too!#id like to spend more time on it next time i stopped after about 30 minutes so i mostly just carved shapes in#i think id also like to ! get some more different painting brushes bc i couldnt get a lot of the shapes i wanted#but it was fun trying to study this without color picking or directly drawing over the composition and everything#so i was just eyeballing it . ive been trying to figure out color relativity by Feeling it out so i wanted to do it this way#comparing them has been interesting ! i can see where i compressed some spaces of the composition#anyway it HAS been almost a year since i posted art here HAHA but well i just post for fun so it doesnt matter#if i posted ocs id have more art here but i prefer not to so you just get stuff whenever i make fanart#i would LOVE to do studies from the new movie but i dont have access to high quality screenshots yet#i actually did this as an exercise with one of my friends from college hehe we exchanged spiderverse screenshots to study#i also added some chromatic abberation you know just for fun . i made a version with it over the full piece but i thought well#i preferred it like this#anyway ! bye !
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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!
#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's#and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in#+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me#in the rain#I nearly fucking died#I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on#nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge#it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks#I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer#and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while#also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful#which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't#bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money#anyway. getting distracted again#do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did#and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here#sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account#I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still#I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth#I don't really care enough to look it up#the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want#if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is#also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later
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hummmms... reminded that bj would actually be very susceptible to cults.
desperate for connection, love, and acceptance in multiple angles. would bend, quite frankly, to any amount of it and forgives a lot in order to get it.
#it's an interesting thought exercise to try to decide if your muse would be aware enough to avoid being absorbed into a cult.#i think most people are more susceptible than they realize but still.#patrick would not bc he's patrick. he's too keyed into the manipulation tactics bc he is a manipulator himself lmao.#sean... probably not. i think he's a little too independent. it's not impossible but i don't think it'd be easy.#nathan's more likely to accidentally start one. ironically i don't think klaus would start one at all and find that plot a bit. weak.#but then i also like klaus' og 'started a strip club in the '60s' storyline a little more. that would've been better.#i lost my train of thought. anyway.#out of fairy tales [ooc];
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I love it when they give guns to pretty girls and also they are in summerwear
#puyo puyo#feli#yana#some rendering studies plus trying to figure out that like... water reflection physics?#you know what i mean. the stuff water does when light refracts off it and hits a wall#also i wanted to draw seafoam feli because god you cant do that to me#burned a couple rolls on her gacha and did not get her as per usual!! hell yeah!!#i did get yana to 7* tho which is why shes here too#i stare at yana a lot cause shes the leader of my current event team#mostly its an excuse to try out lighting stuff#feli's an exercise in soft other color lighting and yana's in a... cave#and then i drew them with their guns because thats so funny to me.#kindhearted priestess yana gets a rifle and feli in a pretty summer dress gets a BALDANDERS GUN#baldanders is hysterical and i wish they did more with him#but yeah! these were very fun to do#fun fact i did feli's dress gradients by hand in an attempt to not use the airbrush as often as i do#and then i used it for the water anyway#so i am a fraud but at least that dress looks good#my stuff
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Today my roommate (m) got home from work (landscaping) before his wife and usually she makes him shower right away but today he did NOT and he instead hung out in the main area and I'm still getting whiffs of it three hours later
#also he left a full glass of milk sitting on the counter. that does not smell yet#they left for an event a while ago#even though it stresses me out it also makes me glad that her philosophy of when he does things like fall asleep on the floor overnight#is ''he's an adult and he can take car of himself''#that frees me to hold the same philosophy about the two of them#(obviously i don't all the way. how could i. you know me#but i limit my helpful interventions to crisis moments or casual offers that don't take me out of the way#or things that truly affect the safety and wellbeing of our home and also of me#like the mildew growing on her kitchen rags#the nice thing is she's a lot more vigilant about safety than i am so once i point something out as a safety issue#she'll be really serious about it)#ok i was trying to watch the fall guy in my chair in peace but it's too stinky out here. this is a sign for me to exercise
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I'm calling everyone out today.
#final fantasy vii#ffvii#final fantasy vii rebirth#ffvii rebirth#ff7#cloud strife#literal coolest thing ever#this fucking sucks actually#fallenchungus#meme#I get it#I get the appeal#I really do#you see through the MC's fake “cold distant merc” persona#you're exercising your media literacy skills so good for you#and nobody wants a one-dimensional edgelord for a protagonist in this game anyway#but it's starting to turn into pure flanderization in the OTHER direction#and that's just as boring#reducing a protagonist of this level of nuance and complexity to nothing more than pookie-posting gets old too#you've got the “deconstruction of the classic RPG hero” part of the story but left out the reconstructive part at the end#let's try for something a little more interesting than that from time to time shall we?#that's it that's the rant#enjoy your day
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#tw ed#ed tw#tw eating disorder#downloaded a new app to track my meals and macronutrients and what not in order to try to hold myself accountable for overeating#which i feel like ive recently been starting to do A Lot#only to find out i am consuming on average less than half of what i’m ‘supposed’ to according to the app which is literally designed for#weight loss goals and so already gives you a smaller allotment of caloric intake than you reasonable should have#plus when i set up the account i lied and said i never exercise bc i knew it would give me a smaller amount of calories than if i was hones#thought i was too recovered and swung the wrong direction only to find out i haven’t even made it to my original goal#anyways all this to say….#perhaps something to talk to my therapist about#sorry for ed posting if i missed a trigger tag that’s more commonly used than these pls lmk i’m just trying to vent not trying to cause#others problems#personal
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