#trusting the structure

[badnew2005]

rehashing this post from right before s15 like. hm !!!!! first half of the post died like hoodie gate and dennis in macs room turned to be Nothing. i’m still maintaining they fucked over quarantine (SINGING HAPPY SILLY LITTLE COUNTRY LOVE SONGS ?????? country mac vs mac) but. dennis is still emotionally in north dakota. he’s still fight or flight. he’s learnt he can’t survive without mac without the gang and still had to come crawling back to philly But he’s not emotionally back. he’s not accepted he’s back and this is Who He Is. that he couldn’t survive as someone else once again. he’s terrified mac and the gang can see through him. he still wants to run. the gang go on holiday. go where PURPLE ??? that’s not a place !!! vocal stim of all time. they go to ireland back to their Roots. they’re an Irish bar. macs so aggressively american irish. let’s tell him he’s dutch. to shut him up. need to confuse him, spin him around, give him a different focus other than Me.

mac and dennis barely interact in ireland. dennis’ obsession with authenticity almost killing him. he’s trying so hard to be Real to be a Real Person. not Himself of course. someone real here. s14 health scare dennis NOT vigilant about covid ???? REFUSING to admit he had it. because it wasn’t authentic. wasn’t Real. because he spent 2020 hiding away with mac, slowly falling back into old routines, back in love back to being see through. fuck. that’s Not what ireland was for. dennis being the one to point out charlie’s dad died from covid. weird washy vision. dennis the “Only One” who didn’t get vaccinated. s14 health freak out dennis more about mac than anything else. he wanted Everything to be The Same back to when they could read eachother BUT he’s terrified of being Seen by mac. by mac who can Now see himself as gay, what the fuck is he finally going to be able to see in dennis. macs been spun around by dennis so he just goes to i’ll look after dennis Directly when he asks. i don’t want him running away from me again. also pizza poisoning. building back up that codependency. dennis needing anything else than Mac to blame all his mac problems on. Macs priest journey he’s thinking about Himself he’s Looking After Himself. not dennis. big mo should we quit the game. if you’re not having fun anymore. he’s not. everything with dennis is more Pain than anything else. being suffocated by his own love. sorry about the delusional maccricket hopes. mac and cricket ex boyfriends i’ll never stop believing in you though. macden using cricket as a middle man instead of just fucking eachother. den and charlie trying to spin him around confuse him saying he’s not irish. okay. next aspect of my identity is catholic. i’ll just go Full into that. the wars over. the storm has stopped raging. maybe. it’s complex. but it’s easier than dennis. feeling unfulfilled by the church though. this isn’t what i wanted this isn’t filling my dennis shaped hole. coming back together on the mountain. to help charlie. finding the truth. they lied to me told me i wasn’t irish just because they thought i was annoying? heartbreaking. DEVASTATING honestly. fuck you im leaving. i don’t have to help you. you’ll never help me. all i’ve been DOING is trying to Look After Myself so you wouldn’t have to. macs whole LIFE trying so desperately for someone to Love him. fuck man.

but back in the pub. mirror of paddys. we’re never escaping paddys. but why would i want to. we’re always running out into the world looking for treasures when everything we need is right here in the bar. their own ecosystem. and we carry out country (us. giggling like yeah the United States US and just. Us as a relationship) with us wherever we go! BECAUSE WE LOVE HER! and when you love someone , you can’t BEAR TO LEAVE EM BEHIND” watch dennis. face journey. he realises before mac. he loves philly he loves paddys he loves the gang he loves mac. HE CANT KEEP RUNNING AWAY. it’s okay to stop and be stationary. it’s okay to be who you are. “not ever” he’s ran away so many times. even this holiday with the gang he’s running from them. mac looks at him. mac knows. it’s okay that mac can read me that he can see through me like this. it’s good. i missed it. i’m weak and tired of running and I’m Sorry. everything i’ve done to you because i hated myself because i was scared of myself. they go to charlie. it’s the big game. they’ve embraced who they are (american) (Who They Are) and that’s when you WIN. dennis was in north dakota during the big game. wasn’t part of it. was still running. i’ve said it a thousand times sure he’s physically back in philly for years but emotionally he was still running. he’s stopped. laid down to rest.

i don’t want to hypothesise about s16 too much but after the first two eps are out i feel confident saying. the cat is poking his head out of the wall. he’s missing mac. i’ve said before end of clip show SINISTER “we’re back to normal” it’s dennis’ fantasy he wants so badly to become reality. he’s the best at monitoring reality and pulling one over on the gang. because that’s all he Ever does. that’s all he’s been doing. they’ve only just caught on or directly challenged him or tried to live in their own fantasies. i don’t know if dee’s cat is fully coming out of the wall but he’s poking his head. barely saw macden apartment last season because they were running away from her. sterile. in the season Opener we saw Her Insides. the fridge. casual domesticity. throwing out all of their furniture and sleeping on a blow up bed together. he’s stopped running. when you embrace who you are then you WIN. but. macs moving on. it’s been too long. took dennis too long to adjust. that happens. i’m so scared to tinhat about johnny but. i’m still your leading man. macs got another leading man. he’s being replaced maybe. it’s me it was always me. i think we’re gonna see more of that. i have always trusted the structure. i don’t think it’s going to be fruitless. yeah i think i’m out now. he’s BACK from north dakota he’s working on himself. macden doorway in inflates mirroring macdenbreakup. we don’t need to tell you our business. he’s protecting himself protecting their relationship. he’s not getting angry anymore. working to be a person. not letting small things blow up anymore. but it’s not going to be enough. he needs to Show Mac he cares More. it’s going to be difficult but. i trust the structure

[mari-lair]

Behold! The worse housemaiden in history

Decided to do my own role swap AU!

Big shout out for @anxiousapplepie own role swap aus for inspiring me

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

Glenn Howerton: [...] and we talk about that all the time when we're writing Sunny, it's like this moment is like 'it's not funny enough,' and I'm like yes, but is it *entertaining,* is it interesting to watch? [...]

Sure, "it's funnier" if they don't, but...

[garadinervi]

Man Ray, Rotative demi-sphère de Marcel Duchamp, (gelatin silver bromide negative on flexible/soft support), ca. 1920 [Centre Pompidou, Paris. © Man Ray Trust / Adagp, Paris]

[fumifooms]

Laios Touden and autism; admiring the non-human

Do you think people exaggerate when they scream about Laios being autistic? Do you feel like it’s weird that so many people including autistics are so set on Laios, the problematic (but incredible and kind) king TM, being the most autistic that has ever autisticed? Why do we cheer on autistic people wanting to be monsters?? Isn’t that weird?

Well, of course it depends on the way it’s done, it can be done quite offensively, but long story short Kui blew it out of the park. The thing is, autistic people really do like monsters and animals and robots. Nonhuman does not mean subhuman, it just means Other. Feeling a connection with them has been shown to be an extremely common autistic experience for that very reason.

Because some people don’t understand why we autistic Tumblr Laios stans cheer “autism! Autism!” whenever he talks about monsters and feeling alienated to humans so! Here’s a post about how yes even research papers are analyzing the special connection we form with animals. I’m not even joking but Laios Touden & the mass cries of relatability with autistic people he gets and all the love for him could be used as study material and evidence for future papers because the link is that strong. Oh also I think it’s notable that being autistic and undiagnosed vs diagnosed makes a huge difference. In my experience as someone who was undiagnosed up until 18, it’s even more alienating to not know that there’s a reason why you’re different, being gaslit that you’re ‘normal’ and you just need to try harder and get with the program, etc. Personally when getting diagnosed I went through the 5 stages of grief because the thought of having been fundamentally different all your life (a difference which you will never be able to change) and mistreated for it when you weren’t “wrong” all along makes you unload all the anger and sadness and loneliness and sheer trauma you’ve built up over time. Like it’s world shattering.

So! Back to seeing dogs as family. Also I implore you to value experiential evidence when it comes to autism and other neurodivergences because brains are complicated and neurotypicals not being able to understand us well even with scientific research is like, a whole thing even though we’re right there speaking about how we feel and being right every time because the topic is literally us and how we experience the world. 

Disclaimer for this whole post that, of course, no group is a monolith and everyone has different experiences or can diverge from the norm of the group, and that doesn’t diminish the validity of either side! Like, I know autistic people who have trauma with dogs and hate them. But, trends do happen, and in this case... Autism is very “My experiences with humans make me feel dehumanized in a bad and lonely way so instead I’ll dehumanize myself in a good and inspiring way”.

“I was treated like a failed human my entire life and you’re surprised that my response was to become a dog.” -Patricia Taxxon

It’s literally well recorded that autistic people relate to animals more than humans globally. With this post, besides spreading autistic Laios truthism and explaining why the portrayal hits so deep for so many,  I want to show in what way this is a very specific experience and not looking at his character through an autistic lense really misses a lot of why he’s everything that he is. (Tacking allegedly onto here for legal reasons, different interpretations are valid etc etc /gen). This honestly isn’t super long though.

To define an important term, anthropomorphism in the studies and in this post means to attribute human traits to the nonhuman, which not only includes anthro furry designs but also animals irl, inanimate objects, and animated media as opposed to live action, to humanize them and empathize with them.

Paper: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0027 

“Dogs taught me how to hunt and socialize and work in groups”, Laios having internalized body language... So real so real. I, too, make a great dog impression. And I want to emphase the part that it helps greatly develop a sense of emotions and relationships! For Laios, he didn’t get along with kids his age, it was him, Falin and the dogs against the world. Since it’s a group of dogs too, it taught him group dynamics and social hierarchies (like with Falin being considered as being below the dogs in authority according to the dogs rip), and the importance of group coordination when hunting.

For me, I cannot like, concisely explain just how much animals were important to me developmentally. I also grew up with dogs, but like I vividly remember encounters with like hamsters as well just radically shaping my understanding of boundaries, the importance of giving something space and the way you interact with them and respect their side of it. Unlike humans they don’t really mask how they feel, it’s direct cause-effect reaction and data gathering. There are no words involved, so the focus on having a perfect phrasing and tone is gone, leaving just pure interactions. 

There’s also no reason to mask how you feel either, and you don’t have to feel silly over wanting to form a connection and it showing, what, is the dog gonna laugh at you because you obviously want to make friends with it? Toshiro or Kabru might, but dogs and cats will just tell you to fuck off and leave it there worst case scenario. I often say that I think one reason Marcille is special to Laios and he feels comfortable around her is because she emotes INTENSELY, she gestures, she puts her whole body into it, her facial expressions are pretty exaggerated and her ears even emote too- like with a dog’s ears!

I think there’s def also things to be said about how he gravitated towards Izutsumi at first, all excited, was eager to sleep in the same bed as her, but in the Izutsumi sleep rating chart we see they really just casual and chill so it’s not a Laios talking to Shuro deep into the night situation just a “I like sleeping besides animals” situation and that is enough to hype him up. I love how he pet her in the extra about why Chil let her sleep with him too. He’s just so transparently eager to befriend her, even if in the end they weren’t all that compatible and he accepted that.

There are honestly so many examples I could give for this. Like Grandin the famous cow lady.

More about autism & empathy:

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/double-empathy-explained/ (Also mentions a study in which groups of autistic, allistic then a mixed group played a game of telephone and both singular groups had similar levels of information retention, but the mixed group was significantly worse. As an autistic person yeah duh, obviously autistic people are different from one another and can have plenty of interpersonal issues, but communicating with other neurodivergent people feels pretty intuitive and straightforward and comfortable. One of the reasons why neurodivergent people tend to naturally gravitate towards each other I suppose.) 

^ Paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5932358/  For good, extensive summary of why we relate to animals so much you can go to the “anthromorphizing and asd” section of the paper. This paper extends to our widespread liking of cartoons and robots as well. Ok so this is a whole thing I won’t get into here but this is a big reason why a lot of autistic people are agender leaning as well. Genders and queerness in general is a lot about social constructs, and being queer is being marginal to these, not fitting into boxes or challenging those social norms and conventions. Queerplatonic relationships are a great example of this, where the framework of the relationship is platonic but the intangible nature of what it is exactly is the point, not familial not anything but everything at once too, just adoration, I like to say having pets is a bit like it as well, bc obvi it’s not romantic and often not fully familial, very platonic but also sooo much cuddling and adoration and kissing and whatnot that you wouldn’t typically do with a friend or family member. I’ll talk about qpr and labels another day though.

I got carried away but queerness in Dunmeshi is something I 100% want to make a big post on one day. Experiencing the world with different guidelines and not registering things to have the same boxes, sigh. Personally I also relate to Laios on a gender level, “cis by default because I don’t care all that much but if I were to dig deeper I’m probably otherkin and I want to be socially associated with traits of monsters and animalistic rather than man/woman” sighh hard to be a cryptid in this day and age. I wish we had a term like furry but for monsters, I want to be in the fantasy or folk tale genre ty, like changelings. Goshh changelings... You know, the irl myth where people said their neurodivergent kids were fairies’ children instead of human. Diminished physical sense of self means I see myself as some unknowable black  void aesthetic wise, but like in a way that simultaneously makes me feel seen. Like becoming a monster, losing your sense of self but also somehow just being simplified and seen for what you are, it’s weird to try and explain. This post is more about relating to the nonhuman than about seeing yourself as such, but like connect the dots right, that IS an important point of Laios’ character. It’s because our brains literally work different than allistics which makes us feel as other, but also because of social ostracization and functioning in a different way than society at large, living in the margin of society, being weird and non-conforming.

Meanwhile, animals and social norms... Like ok, showing your neck and rolling on the ground to show that you’re friendly and harmless and play biting might not be proper. But have you considered that it’s also fun and feels very intuitive. Play with a dog in the dog’s way I promise it is so nice and freeing. Play tug of war and growl back when they growl. Hiss at your cat to tell them they do something wrong, engage with them on their level.

Autism made social life hard, but it made animals easy. Do you have anyyy idea how good it feels to mask all day every day and feel constantly misunderstood or like you’re doing a performance but then you can just, drop all of that in the company of animals and they understand you. They understand you. You form an understanding and rapport so easily.

And this whole thing with Laios is so explicit too, with the Winged Lion saying “You’re sick and tired of the human world”. Notice the choice of words. Sick and tired of the human world. Exhausted from the constraints, sick of the mind games. It really isn’t as much about loving monsters as it is about loving the nonhuman. Relating to them because you feel that you can actually understand how they work and think, and feeling like they could understand you back as well. Animals are safe.

Like I could go on about how Laios admiring even just demi-humans like orcs is because they’re socially seen as non-humans more than any true physical thing, that they’re not bound by human society and its rules and live with their own lifestyle. But it would deal myself 1000 points of psychic damage and I am not ready to cry today. It’s idealization 100%, and like, Laios DOES want to be treated as human, to be valued, but it feels like an unreachable thing meanwhile becoming a monster is instant gratification and freedom and a sense that now no one will be able to hurt you in a way that reaches you, never again shall you be defenseless, and then if people dehumanize you then that only strengthens your sense of identity as a monster and UGHH ugh ugh.

And like. This post is a mess at this point but if you want to kinda delve into the more “why” then I recommend this Patricia Taxxon video essay. It starts out on a very different topic, but it’s all about autism and finding comfort in the inhuman. Long story short is othering made us like this also animals are just simpler to intuitively get along with.

So when I post this

I mean it. I really mean it when I say he’s me. I have never felt so seen. So many conflicting emotions all wrapped so concisely yet so intangibly woven into the whole storyline so subtly. 

Not being depicted as a monster of an human being for feeling/having felt that way?? The manga understands you. The world can understand you. Other humans can understand you. You can bond with them. You can. And I think that’s a big part of Dungeon Meshi too- Laios opening up to others about how he really is and his interests, and all the bumps on the way but how it was the only way to truly get to know each other and bond. With the climax being Laios confronting head on his complex with monsters and humans, and his monster-loving side and animalistic side being exactly what saves the whole world, what saves humanity. Because Laios does value his friends, does think humanity has beautiful sides to it, he wants to help it thrive and eat and become more accepting, carving out a kingdom for misfits and demi-humans. At the end of it, transforming into a monster and being free is a daydream fantasy, and the reality of it is that Laios does belong in the world as he is, and does receive and give out love.

If you enjoyed this you’ll probably like some of my other Laios analysis!  Here’s an analysis of his succubus and what it says about his relationships with other humans. And here’s an analysis about his relationship with Shuro from his perspective.

[sakurm]

well while yall gripe with jjk's ending i shall continue my sashisu kaisen. remember: if youre unsatisfied, fanworks are your saviour!

[coochiekrab]

i think if i was friends with Kuri when she got her cancer diagnosis, i would hunt her dad down and beat him to death with a rock. he doesn't deserve to outlive her.

Lets put him in Minecraft and trap him in an obsidian mob spawner with no tools

[penderbend]

going back to s3 malevolent and good LORD this shit is so good. forgot how absolutely insane it is. easily my fav season (though i do love me my medieval jaunts) this just has something mixed in it thats so damn captivating

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Tbh I think this ‘if I think it’s good enough’ with a vague ‘read the ones that made it through to figure out how to be good enough’ on fandom posts makes them unbearably annoying to me. Especially with how often you post obvious rage bait. Like either accept them or don’t, but you clearly don’t care about whether the post is believable with the regular posts so I don’t see why you’d care with the fandom one.

Frankly, it's because I'll accept that real life can be strange beyond my personal comprehension sometimes, but for creative writing I have standards.

[warlenys]

that official macden compilation is literally structured like a romcom. cute budding relationship then arguments and breakups then “let’s find you some romance” immediately followed by all the gayest shit. whoever made it needs to be shot

[badnew2005]

rehashing this post from right before s15 like. hm !!!!! first half of the post died like hoodie gate and dennis in macs room turned to be Nothing. i’m still maintaining they fucked over quarantine (SINGING HAPPY SILLY LITTLE COUNTRY LOVE SONGS ?????? country mac vs mac) but. dennis is still emotionally in north dakota. he’s still fight or flight. he’s learnt he can’t survive without mac without the gang and still had to come crawling back to philly But he’s not emotionally back. he’s not accepted he’s back and this is Who He Is. that he couldn’t survive as someone else once again. he’s terrified mac and the gang can see through him. he still wants to run. the gang go on holiday. go where PURPLE ??? that’s not a place !!! vocal stim of all time. they go to ireland back to their Roots. they’re an Irish bar. macs so aggressively american irish. let’s tell him he’s dutch. to shut him up. need to confuse him, spin him around, give him a different focus other than Me.

mac and dennis barely interact in ireland. dennis’ obsession with authenticity almost killing him. he’s trying so hard to be Real to be a Real Person. not Himself of course. someone real here. s14 health scare dennis NOT vigilant about covid ???? REFUSING to admit he had it. because it wasn’t authentic. wasn’t Real. because he spent 2020 hiding away with mac, slowly falling back into old routines, back in love back to being see through. fuck. that’s Not what ireland was for. dennis being the one to point out charlie’s dad died from covid. weird washy vision. dennis the “Only One” who didn’t get vaccinated. s14 health freak out dennis more about mac than anything else. he wanted Everything to be The Same back to when they could read eachother BUT he’s terrified of being Seen by mac. by mac who can Now see himself as gay, what the fuck is he finally going to be able to see in dennis. macs been spun around by dennis so he just goes to i’ll look after dennis Directly when he asks. i don’t want him running away from me again. also pizza poisoning. building back up that codependency. dennis needing anything else than Mac to blame all his mac problems on. Macs priest journey he’s thinking about Himself he’s Looking After Himself. not dennis. big mo should we quit the game. if you’re not having fun anymore. he’s not. everything with dennis is more Pain than anything else. being suffocated by his own love. sorry about the delusional maccricket hopes. mac and cricket ex boyfriends i’ll never stop believing in you though. macden using cricket as a middle man instead of just fucking eachother. den and charlie trying to spin him around confuse him saying he’s not irish. okay. next aspect of my identity is catholic. i’ll just go Full into that. the wars over. the storm has stopped raging. maybe. it’s complex. but it’s easier than dennis. feeling unfulfilled by the church though. this isn’t what i wanted this isn’t filling my dennis shaped hole. coming back together on the mountain. to help charlie. finding the truth. they lied to me told me i wasn’t irish just because they thought i was annoying? heartbreaking. DEVASTATING honestly. fuck you im leaving. i don’t have to help you. you’ll never help me. all i’ve been DOING is trying to Look After Myself so you wouldn’t have to. macs whole LIFE trying so desperately for someone to Love him. fuck man.

but back in the pub. mirror of paddys. we’re never escaping paddys. but why would i want to. we’re always running out into the world looking for treasures when everything we need is right here in the bar. their own ecosystem. and we carry out country (us. giggling like yeah the United States US and just. Us as a relationship) with us wherever we go! BECAUSE WE LOVE HER! and when you love someone , you can’t BEAR TO LEAVE EM BEHIND” watch dennis. face journey. he realises before mac. he loves philly he loves paddys he loves the gang he loves mac. HE CANT KEEP RUNNING AWAY. it’s okay to stop and be stationary. it’s okay to be who you are. “not ever” he’s ran away so many times. even this holiday with the gang he’s running from them. mac looks at him. mac knows. it’s okay that mac can read me that he can see through me like this. it’s good. i missed it. i’m weak and tired of running and I’m Sorry. everything i’ve done to you because i hated myself because i was scared of myself. they go to charlie. it’s the big game. they’ve embraced who they are (american) (Who They Are) and that’s when you WIN. dennis was in north dakota during the big game. wasn’t part of it. was still running. i’ve said it a thousand times sure he’s physically back in philly for years but emotionally he was still running. he’s stopped. laid down to rest.

i don’t want to hypothesise about s16 too much but after the first two eps are out i feel confident saying. the cats poking his head out of the wall. he’s missing mac. i’ve said before end of clip show SINISTER “we’re back to normal” it’s dennis’ fantasy he wants so badly to become reality. he’s the best at monitoring reality and pulling one over on the gang. because that’s all he Ever does. that’s all he’s been doing. they’ve only just caught on or directly challenged him or tried to live in their own fantasies. i don’t know if dee’s cat is fully coming out of the wall but he’s poking his head. barely saw macden apartment last season because they were running away from her. sterile. in the season Opener we saw Her Insides. the fridge. casual domesticity. throwing out all of their furniture and sleeping on a blow up bed together. he’s stopped running. when you embrace who you are then you WIN. but. macs moving on. it’s been too long. took dennis too long to adjust. that happens. i’m so scared to tinhat about johnny but. i’m still your leading man. macs got another leading man. he’s being replaced maybe. it’s me it was always me. i think we’re gonna see more of that. i have always trusted the structure. i don’t think it’s going to be fruitless. yeah i think i’m out now. he’s BACK from north dakota he’s working on himself. macden doorway in inflates mirroring macdenbreakup. we don’t need to tell you our business. he’s protecting himself protecting their relationship. he’s not getting angry anymore. working to be a person. not letting small things blow up anymore. but it’s not going to be enough. he needs to Show Mac he cares More. it’s going to be difficult but. i trust the structure

me saying i’m not going to go on tumblr for a while because like i’m Excited but it’s stressing me out so much and i do want to avoid spoilers etc etc but then naturally i go on tumblr what else am i meant to do then seeing Numerous people making vague posts ab dennis in macs room getting very confused i see one post they fucked i say what is happening i do some exploring some digging i believe it they fucked they are doing something and i am trusting the structure i know i am going to get my hopes up tahts dennis in dennis room HOWEVER . hoodiegate . mac trying to become a priest paralleling the macden breakup beginning of s6 when he . when he fights gay marriage . full jesus freak out becos they broke up .

guess what . i think they broke up . they try to go on holiday together they don’t want the gang to know they were fucking over quarantine (because there is No Way they didn’t fuck over lockdown . s14 health scare dennis scared of getting covid getting ill he doesn’t want to die he doesn’t leave the apartment and refuses to let mac leave the apartment charlie dee and frank can’t even come over . this only lasts a few weeks but still . they start fucking the sex doll . individually . passing it between them in shame . it’s embarassing . needing something like this. what’s even more embarassing is that they need eachother . it all starts again) . they can’t tell the gang . the gang knows . macden try to go on holiday to ireland to figure it out but there’s no way dee charlie and frank are letting them go alone . they need to watch this dumpster fire . they break up . of course they do . mac needs to become a priest . thinking about his ex cricket yolo . he’s the only man that can fill me up . macdennis emptiness . dennis shaped hole . my god hole . i feel so empty . there’s a hole in me the shape of you i’m so sorry . my love isn’t lost it’s all i’ve got . sunny is a love story never forget that . the hoodie . oh that goddamn hoodie . rivals only to the dennis striped blue sad jumpers . there are cats in the wall you put another one in they bond they become co dependant then that one comes out of the wall your original cat will follow soon . how long has mac been out . macs charlie’s cat dennis is dees cat this is all obvious what else could it be . but when he walks in i am loved i am loved me and my husband we are doing better it’s always been just me and him together . it’s a gift i got it for you . the rpg makes an appearance this season . macdennis aprtment main character in the entire show i need her floor plan . i’m still your leading man . it’s me it’s always been me . i thought i was out now . yeah i think i’m out now . i’m gay . i am Trusting The Structure

[hickeygender]

WHO organizes their books this way holy shit??????? it's one bump away from total collapse - banged up covers, mangled pages, books all over the floor! and what happens when you wanna read a book from the bottom, huh???

[syn4k]

thinking about tucker and what being a champion of the god of order does to a person

[vaguely-concerned]

*fully sweating bullets and thousand yard staring into space as the king of hearts starts to talk about losing the person you love and what you'd be willing to do to get them back* this better not be fUCKING thematic foreshadowing for what this story is meant to head towards eventually (I say, with little hope and great trepidation). we're just going to be thematically microdosing on that in the main krew right folks. no one's going to be lost forever. right??!?!

(though I must admit that the idea of some of them dying and being brough back because that is someone else's heart's desire -- because 'what would even be the point of being given anything else, if you aren't here with me' -- would render me fully incapable of being normal ever again and forever goodnight)

[garadinervi]

Man Ray, Rotative demi-sphère de Marcel Duchamp, (gelatin silver bromide negative on flexible/soft support), ca. 1930 [Centre Pompidou, Paris. © Man Ray Trust / Adagp, Paris]