#trigger warning; discussions of suicide

[kitkatopinions]

So this is about Rubys breakdown in S9 E7: I think what was weird to me was how out of nowhere it came. Like Jaune is grieving his friends, Weiss wants Ruby to say smth comforting, and Ruby just goes into her speech...but it seems so disconnected to the event that just happened. The first few sentences just tripped me up because this whole situation HAD nothing to do with Ruby being the leader. I HATE THIS SPEECH. AAAAH.

I think that you're right that there's a big old disconnect, and it makes the whole thing feel worse.

There are some pretty basic fixes that would still leave it feeling meh, but much better than what we got. Like for instance if while Team RWBY were sitting around the table talking about Jaune and the rest of Ruby's team were dismissing him, if Ruby - trying to be calm and work things out but clearly frustrated and going through it still - had started being like "why can't we let Jaune be the leader? He's the one that comes up with plans anyway, why do I have to greenlight stuff for you guys to do anything? Why don't you guys wanna contribute?" That would seem well placed and a good complaint for Ruby to have (she wants things to be a joint effort with her team,) and could lead to the others being like "But we believe in and follow you, we know you'll figure out what to do," which would cement just how much pressure they've put on Ruby and how alone she feels. And then if we still needed what happened with the Paper Pleasers to go down, Ruby - instead of being callously dismissive of the Paper Pleasers humanity - could be more visibly distraught at their 'deaths' because she's the only one in the group iirc that wasn't like "maybe them killing themselves is a good thing uwu Jaune why are you holding them back?" And then when the girls are all comforting Jaune, they could turn to Ruby to get the inspirational speech they clearly wanted and Ruby could start ranting about how none of them actually know how Ascension works and they don't know the Paper Pleasers are gonna be fine so they may have just let more people die. The others could then be like "whoa calm down, that's not how any of us need to be thinking right now" which could then lead to Ruby's explosion.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I 'being like Ironwood?' Is admitting that we're in way over our heads being bad? Am I supposed to be better than that and just come up with perfect solutions all the time?! 'Oh guys, don't worry, Ruby will think of something,' 'we don't even have to worry about what we do, because Ruby will save the day, Ruby inspires us and comforts us and makes sure we're all smiling!' I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! This isn't okay, what just happened isn't okay, we're not okay, I'M NOT OKAY!"

Then there can be pushback from the girls, a "what are you talking about, I thought you were fine" from Yang, a "I know things are really bad right now, but we have to focus on getting home and we can't do that by wallowing" from Weiss, maybe a "Ruby I know you're upset, but you're the best of us and we trust you" from Blake, which is the exact opposite of what Ruby would want to hear and that could push her into her "what about me" and angrily yelling at the others and her "we're all so happy for you, by the way" moment with Blake and Yang.

And if someone's about to say "Kitkat, hold up, wouldn't that take too long?" The answer is no actually. This is the supposed main central protagonist having her first real breakdown since crying over Penny's death in V3, the show should be willing to spend time on that to make it as good, dramatic, fleshed out, and deep as possible.

Now, what I would REALLY like is some much bigger fixes, like... Redoing the entire series and making it better, or at least re-doing everything after the start of season six, or at the very least like fourteen thirty-minute eps for this season where Jaune actually didn't time travel, everyone actually got proper focus on their growth, the Cat wasn't evil, Ruby didn't 'ascend,' Ascension was never written as way to make Ruby try to off herself without committing to treating it as important, everything was better explained, the Ever After characters weren't so annoying, and part of the season focused on Team RWBYJ waking up in different acres and having to find each other.... Etc., etc. But, I'd settle for just some minor edits to make Ruby's dialogue hit harder and make more sense.

[marcobodtlives]

The AoT universe is like an upsettingly unimaginably easy place to die in.

And yet arguably our top 2 most willing-to-unalive-themself characters survived the ENTIRE time.

Shoutout to Reiner and Historia for surviving despite definitely not wanting to for a majority of the time. (And having a major impact on the plot for doing so).

[kushamisaru]

I hate the way mental health discussions have devolved on here. If this bullshit "suicide is a valid choice and you have to respect it uwu" rhetoric was the norm back when I was at my most vulnerable I don't think I would have seen my 20's, let alone my 30's.

[zerosuitsammi3]

Did you feel any dysphoria before transition?

Also did you change the way you behave after it or just stayed yourself?

Asking for, well... reasons that uhh.. have absolutely nothing to do with me

Did I feel dysphoria?

Yes, my dysphoria was crippling. I was so constantly depressed and anxious and hated myself and couldn't feel an ounce of self confidence. I hated myself so much that I attempted suicide once because at that time I was so afraid and didn't know how to change. I knew what HRT was but I didn't know how to get it or where to start. I thought I'd be stuck living as I was forever and it didn't feel like a life worth living. So as previously stated I attempted suicide and I was unsuccessful thankfully. I began presenting more femme most days following that. But after a couple years still not knowing how to truly start HRT and come out on top of the fear that held me back, I went deeply back into the closet. This time around though the depression hit so hard that I started killing myself in a different way. I lived so unhealthily that I would've eventually died young from something, probably alcohol poisoning or very young heart attack. Thankfully I hit my breaking point before that where I knew I couldn't live as a false version of myself anymore. I physically just couldn't but I wasn't going to attempt suicide again so I went to therapy. Was diagnosed with dysphoria in my first session and referred to a clinic that prescribed me HRT, came out to everyone I knew and at work. And it was hard. But my life has been so much better, whole, fulfilling and happy since. But yes definitely had dysphoria before but that's just my personal experience.

Did I change my behavior?

Yes and no. I mean in the beginning every trans femme goes through their hyper feminine phase but that's just us speed running experiences we didn't get to have growing up. But no my personality didn't really change I just became more confident and open in expressing the things that I always kept hidden or were afraid to say out loud. My external behaviors probably changed to those who knew me before and witnessed my transition but I know that those behaviors were always in me and in my thoughts I just never expressed them.

Really the two things I can really say is: Don't let fear hold you back from being the person you feel you are inside, the version of yourself that you can give self love. And once you are that version of yourself you will discover all the elements of that person that you kept locked up.

I hope this helps sweet pea. Feel free to dm me with any questions you have or to vent or talk. I will never refuse to help a trans person in need, especially with their growth and understanding. *muah* 😘😘😘

[priestbitmoved]

                                  [ ˑ ˑ ˑ ] 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑰𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑺 & 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 , a comprehensive study.

This meta will discuss Donnie's relationship with his actual family members and his relationship with family as a concept. Here I'll be exploring how his attitude towards it has shifted and changed throughout his life. I will be touching on some fairly triggering topics in this meta, all of which have been tagged and listed below. For that reason, this meta is under a read more. Please take care when reading, and don't worry if you aren't in the headspace to read this, there's no hard feelings.

Please be aware that the following topics will be discussed, some in greater detail than others: addiction, child neglect/abuse, allusions to csa, religious trauma, homophobia, pregnancy, addiction, drug use, alcoholism, family death, suicide, trauma, and discussions of war.

Donnie, despite all the misconceptions one may have of him, is motivated by family and legacy. It haunts him in a way that nobody talks about. Every man in the Watts family tree, as far back as they can trace being in the States, has served the military in one way or the other. Every man in the Watts family, since the end of the Civil War, has owned and trained horses for one purpose or the other. They may not have been in that profession their entire lives, but they all started there. Donnie did. His father did. His brother did. You get the idea. This is part of the reason why Donnie always felt so conflicted about what he'd do once he'd graduated high school. Would he continue the family legacy and enlist like his father had? Would he follow in his brother's footsteps and look to make a name for himself as a rancher? Or would he follow his heart and become a rockstar?

Ultimately, Donnie decided to follow his heart. He's always had something to prove, his mother made sure of that. He was going to make his family (and to him, at the age of nineteen, his family consisted of his brother, his sister-in-law, his niece, and his nephew) proud. He was going to do something that would, in his eyes, make him worthy of their love. Achieving his dreams would also show them how good of a job they did in taking him in, as he always feels as though he owes them for that (even though they volunteered to do it, and were happy to help out their little brother. Brody especially, as he carries so much guilt for leaving Donnie alone with their mother in the first place.)

I think that, as a child, Donnie based his notion of family off of what his mother told him. His idea of what a family should be was very much in line with the nuclear family, a mother, a father, the white picket fence, and two children. The idea of it was hammered into his head so often-and so brutally-that he felt othered by the fact that he was being raised by a single mother. This othering led to him resenting the very idea of the family home. He hated it whenever his mother would try to engage in things like family dinner at the dining table. Or dragging him to church every Sunday because that's what families were supposed to do.

When he was taken away from his mother at the age of twelve, he was introduced to what an actual, healthy family unit looked like. Brody Watts had gotten away from Texas and made a damn good life for himself. He had two beautiful kids, a wife who adored him, and Dogwood Ranch in his care. Spending his teen years with Brody and Cassidy helped heal a lot of childhood wounds, so much so that by the time his eighteenth birthday rolls around and his mother contacts him for the final guilt trip he'll ever receive from her all he can do is feel hatred for her. Hatred for her and love for the brother who'd taken him in, love for the sister-in-law who had become the older sister he'd always wanted, and love for the kids who called him 'Uncle D!' whenever they saw him. He wanted that. He wanted a home like theirs, warm and welcoming and the total opposite of the crucifix-infested battlefield that his mother had raised him in.

His early twenties were rough. Addled by fame he was not prepared for, and an addiction to anything that takes him skywards for a couple of hours. Heroin was the real killer. He overdosed twice, and was saved twice by a family he didn't share a single drop of blood with. Rancid Creature wasn't just a successful metal band, Rancid Creature was Donnie's entire world, and a love letter to the dear friend he'd lost in Lee Bennett (who had conceptualised the band when they were thirteen and still fumbling their way through learning how to play their instruments. Lee played bass, Donnie was the drummer. The dream rhythm section.) Izzy, Sammy and Clara were, and still are, like siblings to Donnie. He would drop anything to help them... he knew it wasn't the conventional family, but it was his. It was the only one he could have around all the touring and the TV interviews anyway.

Family wasn't just a loving partner and a couple of kids running around to Donnie anymore. But it's the prospect of a family that ultimately pushed him into getting clean. Anita Huerta, a long-term on and off girlfriend, revealed that she was pregnant, and that she wanted to keep the baby. She wanted to get clean for the baby, and so did Donnie. He'd swore years before that he'd never abandon his children, he'd never subject them to his bullshit the same way his mother had. Donnie, wanting nothing more than to cultivate a warm, safe, family environment for his and Anita's child, got clean.

Now that he's in his early thirties, he knows that he doesn't need to have the conventional nuclear family to be happy. A happy family home doesn't look the same for everyone, and despite the fact that he's always stressing over being as good a dad to Emma as possible, he knows this. Family is whoever you feel safe with, family is whoever helps when you're at your worst, family isn't just blood. Donnie took a long time coming to this conclusion, and he still struggles with undoing the mess his mother made of his brain, but he's there. And he doesn't intend on backing away from it anytime soon.

For some quick-fire headcanons about Donnie's family members and his relationships with those family members, look no further!

𝑅𝐸: 𝑀𝐸𝐿𝐼𝑆𝑆𝐴 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Willa Fitzgerald & Mary Mcdonnell. )

Melissa Rose was the youngest of five daughters. Her father detested the fact that his wife would only ever give him daughters when what he really wanted was sons. This made him angry, abusive, unfaithful, and a drunkard. Her father, Adam, was a Baptist pastor. His sermons were the very definition of 'Brimstone and Hellfire.' He was a stern but charming man, with an agreeable face and the picture-perfect family. He was all about image, and this attitude would stick with Melissa all her life.

She actually wanted to run away from Texas her whole life, she had dreams of becoming a Hollywood star. She was always told that she was pretty enough to be in the movies.

Melissa married Colton Watts on a total whim, their romance was an intense whirlwind of emotions and intimacy. She'd never been treated so kindly by a man before Colton came along. He promised her the world. And then he went to war.

When Colton returned home, he was a totally different man. He was emptier than she remembered him, and she was resentful. He would have weeks, even months, of being the happy-go-lucky sweetheart she'd married. Then he'd retreat into himself and would prefer to speak to the horses he cared for than he would to her.

Eleven years of unsteady marriage later, Brody Watts was born. The euphoria of being a new parent didn't last long, Colton would soon retreat back into the stables. The same would happen ten years later when Donovan was born.

After Colton's death, and after Brody ran away from his mother's venomous tongue, Melissa was left alone to raise her youngest son. She never called him Donnie, she would only ever call him Donovan.

Donnie, as a toddler, would actually prefer the company of his mother. He enjoyed being bounced on her hip while she went about the household chores. He enjoyed listening to her read. He found his father to be something of a ghost. However, he did run and hide under Brody's bed whenever she'd get into one of her bad moods. She was vicious, a caged animal unleashed on her family.

When Colton died, Donnie was seven. And Melissa fell hard into heavy drinking. Her fuse grew shorter, and even the smallest of mistakes made by Donnie would set her off. If he cried? She'd shout. If he spilt or dropped something? She'd shout. Without even realising it, Melissa had become her father.

Donnie grew older, more vocal, and pushed back against Melissa's temper. He was rewarded with violence, with unwarranted sermons. She would punish him by making him copy entire verses from the Bible by hand. She would take scissors to his hair whenever he refused to go and get it cut. Donnie's defensive, and often explosive temper, was born here. As was his desire to solve everything with his fists.

Melissa didn't hide what she thought of her son from him. She thought he was gay, and would tell him so. She would often fling slurs at him. She thought he was a sinful child, a demon given to her as punishment for running away from her family with his father. She would tell him this too.

She would also blame him routinely for his father's death. Something that Donnie still hasn't been able to shake.

Donnie was sent to a "summer camp" that the local church ran by his mother to "fix" his behaviour. The children would learn to camp, would learn to work, and would learn to be "more Christian" in their attitudes. It was essentially a behaviour retreat for delinquent kids. It was here that one of the pastors would assault Donnie.

The second he returned home, Donnie bypassed telling his mother anything and took himself straight to the local sheriff's station. He told them everything about the pastor, and about his mother. The sheriff was an old army friend of Colton's and had suspected that something was amiss for years. He was the one who saw to it that the social services took Donnie away from Melissa.

Donnie hasn't seen his mother since, and he hasn't heard from her since his eighteenth birthday. He doesn't even know if she's still alive or not, he hasn't thought to check. He's glad to have cut her out of his life, even if there has always been a longing in him to try and get through to her. Sometimes he misses her reading to him as a child, sometimes he misses her embrace. Sometimes he just wants his mom.

He only ever refers to her as 'mother' or 'Melissa.' Only in really vulnerable moments does he ever slip up and call her 'mom.'

A lot of Donnie's self-loathing stems from the way his mother treated him. A lot of Donnie's internal homophobia stems from his mother. A lot of Donnie's issues with his own masculinity stem from his mother. All of his issues with religion and the idea of a benevolent god stem from his mother's attitudes and the fact that she sent him away to that "summer camp." He's slowly coming to terms with this and feels so much resentment towards her for it that whenever she's mentioned he tends to get stiff and oddly quiet. It takes him a long time to learn to talk about her without feeling angry, and he does so for Emma's sake.

Donnie looks most like his mother, with her soft features, curly hair, and pretty green eyes. It's why he'd always take great offence to anybody ever calling him a girl when he was a teenager.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐶𝑂𝐿𝑇𝑂𝑁 ��𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Robert Redford. )

Colton was the middle child out of three. His older brother, Tristan, died in France, and his youngest brother, Michael, moved to Europe in the summer of forty-seven. His parents owned Dogwood Ranch, as many Watts had before them. It was the ancestral home of the Watts family.

He was raised Catholic, as many are in Longing.

He moved to Texas with his older brother to pursue a Rodeo career. Colton was a promising young Bronc rider and adored working with horses more than anything else. He also enjoyed playing guitar and singing. Music was always going to be a huge part of Donnie's life.

It was there he met Melissa Rose, who looked as though she'd just wandered off of a movie set. Colton was smitten with her, and she was smitten with him. They were young and reckless and felt invincible, and Colton wanted to give Melissa the world. They were married within six months, and, with Tristain's help, living on a plot of land in Copeville within the year.

Then he enlisted and went to war. Colton took his guitar with him to France and would sing for his fellow soldiers whenever he was able. He kept them entertained and happy despite the horrors they saw. He burned his candle at both ends and returned with bullet holes in his guitar, and holes in his heart.

He tried to fight the numbness with all his might. He tried to be present for his sons, but he'd often find himself feeling the chill of The Bulge even in the height of a Texan summer and would slip into his own mind for hours at a time.

To cope, Colton hid himself away in the shed or the stables, fearing what he might do if he was around his family for any longer than a few hours at a time. He could not trust his own body or mind.

As a result, his sons often saw him as a stranger. He tried to make up for it by teaching them guitar chords, showing them how to handle horses, or singing with them. He felt especially close to Donnie, who seemed to take better to his musical inclinations than Brody did. Brody seemed more interested in horses.

Donnie recalls several key moments with his father. Being taught to play the guitar, how to handle a gun, how to ride, how to be a Bronc rider, and being taken to Dallas when his father was due to meet with old war buddies.

Whenever talking about his father, Donnie often calls him his 'old man.' He seems to talk about him with far more respect than he ever does with his mother, despite feeling like he hardly knew him. Donnie also feels an affinity with his father now that he's an adult, especially since he's been through trauma and had to deal with the aftermath.

Donnie still owns his father's guitar, it's easily his most prized possession. He owned a silver signet ring with a cursive 'W' on it that his dad took with him to France and gave to Donnie for good luck. The ring had been in the Watts family for as long as anybody can remember. Donnie gives it to James Gallowes for good luck and as a symbol of his love for him.

In terms of appearance, Donnie takes after Colton's physical build. Looking at photographs of the two of them where their faces aren't visible, you could be forgiven for thinking it's the same person. Donnie also has his father's toothy smile and, according to Brody, Donnie's voice is freakishly similar to their dad's.

Donnie used to resent the fact that Colton put a bullet in his own mouth. It sent Brody away because it made Melissa worse.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐵𝑅𝑂𝐷𝑌 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Charlie Hunnam. )

Brody is ten years older than Donnie. Has their mother's softer face shape like Donnie does, but the rest of his face is all Colton. Right down to the scruffy blond beard and pin-straight hair. Brody's whole demeanour is gruff, but kind. He's quick to smile and far more optimistic than his younger brother.

When they were kids, Brody would jokingly refer to Donnie as Yosemite Sam from Looney Tunes whenever Donnie lost his temper. It's why Donnie has a Yosemite Sam tattoo on his arm.

Brody always stepped in and took Donnie away from their mother whenever her temper would flare, and would play with him or read to him to keep him occupied. Sometimes he'd take Donnie up to the stables to look after the horses with him. In that way, Brody was more a parent to Donnie than their actual parents were.

At first, Donnie was confused when Brody took off after Colton's death. Then his mother got worse, and then he got angry at him for abandoning him with their mother. He was so angry that a month into being put into Brody and Cassidy's care, the two had a fight that almost came to blows. It didn't, because Brody outright refused to hurt Donnie anymore than he'd already been hurt. This made Donnie break down and cry. Brody held him and the two spoke about things more calmly.

This blowout didn't diffuse Donnie's resentment entirely, but it helped Donnie understand his brother's reasons for leaving.

The ten-year gap between the two meant that talking as brothers was often difficult for them. But Brody always did his best to be patient with Donnie, to be careful around his trauma and what might set him off. He would also cut through Donnie's moping and ensure that he wasn't self-sabotaging.

Brody also gives full embarrassing dad energy whenever Donnie's got friends over. He endearingly refers to Donnie, Lee and James as 'The Three Stooges.' James would also often find himself staying over at Dogwood Ranch after Donnie discovers that his uncle is mistreating him. Brody allows it because he really wants to encourage Donnie to be more emotionally vulnerable and have more friends.

Donnie and Brody love each other fiercely and will jump to one another's defence without question, even if they find it hard to have deep discussions without the help of a few beers.

Donnie hates disappointing Brody (and by extension, Cassidy), and so doesn't reach out to him for help when he should. He often needs pushing into contacting Brody by his bandmates whenever something's going wrong or he's struggling with Emma on his own.

Donnie's object permeance (yay ADHD!) extends to people. This means, that if things aren't in his immediate everyday life, he tends to neglect them. This makes him terrible at calling Brody and keeping in touch, thankfully, both Brody and Cassidy understand this and will often check in with him of their own volition.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐶𝐴𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐷𝑌 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Freema Agyeman. )

Cassidy Jonas met Brody Watts and immediately fell in love. They bonded over a love of horses, rock music, and spicy food. They just clicked. Their friendship turned into love and ended with them married at the age of twenty-one. It was the most natural thing in the world.

Cassidy Watts was pregnant with twins when Donnie Watts crossed the threshold of Dogwood for the first time. He reminded her of her grandmother's three-legged cat, Nelson, who used to swipe at newcomers whenever they entered whichever room he happened to be sleeping in. He was jittery and jumped at every little noise. It broke her heart to learn what had happened to him, it made her angry too. Brody had to talk her out of driving to Copeville and giving Melissa Watts a piece of her mind. She couldn't conceive of ever hurting her children.

At first, Cassidy attempted to approach Donnie with kid gloves. That seemed to send him further into his shell. What seemed to appeal to him was being spoken to like an adult. A person in his own right. So she did. Because of the honesty between them, Donnie and Cassidy grew close.

Donnie had the messiest, most unhealthy head of curls when he came to Longing, and not a few months later, Cassidy had them styled and healthier than ever. Being a black woman with tight, coiled hair, she was perfectly qualified to help Donnie treat his curls properly. It was a long, careful routine that Donnie keeps to even now in his early thirties.

After the twins were born, Donnie took to being an uncle like a duck to water. He helped Cassidy with feeding them whenever Brody was out working, and would often keep them entertained when he wasn't out causing mischief with his new friends.

When Donnie's fifteen, Cassidy started to attend classes in hopes of becoming a Doctor or a Nurse, as she'd always dreamed of becoming one as a child.

If asked, Donnie would name Cassidy as the woman who raised him. She was the one who helped him out of panic attacks and soothed him whenever he couldn't sleep, she was the one who talked to him about his romantic feelings for James, she was the one who encouraged him to follow his heart after he graduated. She was also the person who put him in his place whenever he was letting his anger get the better of him.

Donnie almost exclusively calls Cassidy 'Cass', and it's always with the utmost affection. He adores her with his entire being.

Cassidy is also the first person Donnie comes out to, officially. She's the person he turns to whenever he finds himself stuck. He knows she won't judge him or think less of him for messing up. Neither would Brody, but Donnie isn't so confident with that knowledge. He's getting there.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐺𝐼𝑁𝐴 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐽𝑂𝑁𝐴�� 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fcs : undecided. )

Georgina and Jonah Watts are fraternal twins and are the only two children of Brody and Cassidy Watts. Donnie views the pair of them as his younger siblings.

The twins refer to Donnie as 'Don' or 'Uncle D' pretty much exclusively.

Gina falls in love with rock music because of her parents and falls deeper in love with metal and alternative music because of Donnie. Donnie often catches her rifling through his tapes when he's not keeping an eye on her. When he leaves Longing, he actually leaves the vast majority of his tapes and vinyl at Dogwood, so that Gina can listen to them. Gina also gifts Donnie with an Iron Maiden poster on his fourteenth birthday, Cassidy informs him that she wanted to give her uncle a present that meant a lot to him. He still has the poster now, it's in a frame on the wall of his office.

Jonah and Donnie bond over horses. Brody held no interest in actually participating in any kind of Rodeo events, and neither did Donnie, but Donnie knew a couple of tricks to help Jonah get started. He showed him how to ride and how to tend to the horses alongside Brody. Jonah also shares Donnie's love of Star Wars and sci-fi. He even starts to copy Donnie when Donnie starts keeping journals and writing things like song lyrics down. Jonah's got a big imagination and an even bigger heart. Donnie encourages him to feel things unapologetically and to talk to his parents when things are bothering him. When he leaves Dogwood, Donnie leaves a good chunk of his books with Jonah, knowing he'll take care of them.

Donnie misses a good chunk of the twins' milestones while he's touring with Rancid Creature, but that doesn't stop them from sending him letters and getting excited whenever he calls. He feels guilty for not being there more for them during this time, and he's always trying to make up for it, even though they hold no hard feelings over it.

Donnie also misses these milestones because he's too high, which he feels deeply ashamed of, despite the understanding he gets from Brody, Cass and the twins.

He might be terrible at calling, but Donnie has an uncanny ability to remember dates, even when he's deep in the throes of addiction and depression. He always sends thoughtful gifts and birthday cards/letters to his niece and nephew. He dedicates more than a couple of songs and awards for his music to them and their parents.

He's their favourite uncle, despite being their only uncle. And they will die defending him. They even show up to one of Rancid Creature's shows in Santa Fe to surprise him one year, and Donnie almost cries with happiness at seeing them. That's his little sister and his little brother! And he will die for them!

[khepiari]

Why Kuina’s Death Still Unsettles Us?

TW: mention of suicide, references teen/child suicide.

[I read a post about "falling down the stairs" might actually imply death by suicide. Kuina's death always bothered me a bit, and when Shimotsuki Koushiro said to Zoro, humans are fragile, did he really mean our bodies or our hearts? I still wonder. A few months back I had written a fic, a retelling of the events which led to Kuina's fall from the stairs, and I had done a lot of thinking while writing the fic. So all those ideas and thoughts I had then, have been rearranged and put here today.]

I remember watching the Kuina episode like 19 years back. So for an 11-year-old me, that was it. I was sad that she was gone too soon.

But over the years as I grew up, read the manga and then kept rereading it over and over. I did feel her death was surprisingly given the off-stage treatment that was given to Lady Macbeth! Only an announcement was made of her death, and her face is covered in a piece of cloth! That was too sudden, unlike so many other deaths that followed in the story.

I did brainstorm this over the years, it really felt odd, she was a physically strong 12-year-old girl and as far as I know swordswoman/man have to be good at balancing and footwork, because the art of the sword is about full body movement so her falling down is really really really iffy.

Image from chapter 5

And if we look at the Dojo architecture, there were no visible storeys to the building, I am sure she didn’t fall off a library step-stool or carpenter’s ladder. Then I found this Tumblr post, by Heeheemugee which said, falling down the stairs is a euphemism for suicide. Which makes sense! Like it totally connects in my head.

Though, sadly, I didn’t find any source to confirm this, as everyone on the internet told me it's untrue. But, you see, “falling down the stairs” is a euphemism which has been used for domestic violence victims, like in my mother tongue, when it's hard to explain to a child what happened to someone who died, we say the person has gone somewhere far, so may be falling down the stairs is more of an undocumented euphemism or an old reference Odachii picked from somewhere— he is known for this!

Image from chapter 5

Another thing we should remember Kuina was onset of puberty, the stress of future, her father’s general view of female body being weaker, and changing bodily features might have plagued her more than we think— since after 1000 chapters we know Zoro’s teacher is likely from Wano, I think internalized and cultural misogyny was at play too.

Teenage and puberty is a vulnerable time, one misstep can lead to drastic actions, so Kuina taking her own life is not farfetched. Because we have young children who are so stressed or vulnerable or suffering that they think ending it is better than enduring it.

Image from chapter 5

What has bothered me the most, is the offstage treatment of her death. I mean—we have seen most of the “characters whose death impacted the main characters' life decisions” die on stage in backstories so far, or we got a proper explanation of why someone is dead. We know Banchina died after an illness, Bellemere was killed by Arlong, Hililuk was poisoned and blew himself up. Only Kuina’s death we didn’t see, and it immediately happened just after both Zoro and Kuina had a heartfelt conversation about becoming the best swordsman/woman in the world!

I guess Oda chose “fell down the stairs” as the series was like 15 chapters till then. Or it maybe as simple as Odachii wanted to wrap Zoro’s backstory fast with typical “dead girl-friend of the grumpy emotionally suppressed lone wolf” to establish Zoro’s narrative as the one who carries the will of others!

Image from chapter 5

Otherwise, we know Eiichiro Oda doesn’t shy away from depicting gruesome, terrifying or horrible deaths which parallels real life issues, he sneaked in a little panel of a grandmother praying and a mother holding a knife with an infant in her arms in Wano arc, because they were starving for days!

Image from chapter 918

Or a pirate in human auction house biting his tongue to escape the humiliation of being sold as a slave!

Images from chapter 502

Hence, I think Kuina’s death doesn’t seem like an accident and feel like something sadder and heavier than we were led to believe.

[starwalker03]

Suicidal ideation trigger warning for this question. Did any of the WMLP cast consider suicide to get out of their predicaments?

Oh yeah for sure. I mean other than Wally, who didn't really have a chance to. They've all considered it and all have reasons they haven't attempted it. Although Manta believes Kaldur has attempted it in some capacity, if not full suicide then at least self harm.

But yeah. For the most part, they've all had limitations on their abilities to take their lives into their hands like that.

Artemis is the only one who strays from this because she did have that power. The difference is her moment wasn't because of a want to escape, it was brought by survivors guilt after Jade saved her. It's a whole thing. Idk if I'll explore it in the fic. But she had Jade to help her work towards a healthier mindset.

And then there's Dick. He honestly doesn't know how he'd do it, he isn't entirely sure of the extent of his healing factor. He might have to do some ridiculous convoluted thing in order to achieve it, and depression strong enough to lead to suicidal ideation, in my experience and understanding, usually cause you to be less motivated to attempt big projects.

Conner is pretty sure he's been programmed in such a way that if he genuinely attempted it, he would fall into Red Sun mode and just stop. Plus, he'd need some pretty impressive hardware to off himself anyway.

M'Gaan just kinda... can't. She doesn't have access to anything that she'd be able to do it with. And then she finally settled into it all and never thought of it again except in particularly bad moments. But she's so closely supervised she could never hope to achieve it.

[bambiraptorx]

do you ever watch something so intense that it makes you need to stare at a wall for a while so you can process it

[marcys-garbage-bunker00]

We pught to protest this bullshit, lioe full on protest, thes efilters are just as eaisly used as a big mean of censorship, BOTH for the sake of ocmpanies wanting to make everything profitable, AND for political figures wanting to control what people think and do, and we should NEVER let that happens

How ridiculous is it a professional in sociology has to avoid saying SUICIDE because they have to worry about xesmonetization?

Or a black person having to avoid saying RACISM in fear of being shadowbanned and have their reach axed.

This is censorship, plain and simple, and we should be VISICOUSLY fighting to change that

you gotta be able to say "die"

you gotta be able to say "suicide"

you gotta be able to talk about "sex"

they're uncomfortable topics, YEAH for SURE

because LIFE is uncomfortable. Death and suicide and sex and pain are straight up going to happen. not having words for the way it discomforts you doesn't make it more comfortable, it just makes you less able to reach out about it.

even more vital, you gotta be able to say words like "rape", "abuse", "queer" or "racist". cause we fought fucking hard to name those experiences. to identify "rape" as distinct from "sex" and "racism" as distinct from "acceptable behaviour" and "queer" as distinct from "invert"

like the function of communication is not to minimise immediate discomfort. we gotta be able to talk about stuff that's hard or sucks or causes difficult conversations.

[brandfearn-blogs-here]

As of 12/13/24, I have created a private community for women to join to discuss their problems and find solutions. Hopefully, it becomes a place where women can find safety in numbers and friends locally.

[kitkatopinions]

Warning: spoilers for volume 9, suicide discussion

I'm honestly worried about something on volume 9

I have a friend who's going through suicidal thoughts and depression and volume 9 had the main character committed suicide and her friends were not only not effected by it but also perfectly ok with it and treated like it was an okay thing and that was just her choice essentially treating suicide as a perfectly ok thing to do which is so icky

My friend does watch rwby and I'm really worried that if they watched volume 9 and eventually to episode 8 it would encourage them to off themselves and I really don't want that

This is horrible, I'm so sorry this is even something you have to worry about. If I was to give advice, I'd say that it might be better safe than sorry to just let them know in the most natural way possible that there's themes of suicide in the latest season and it's handled really badly. It's better than sorry just so your friend is aware and can decide if they're in a good head space to watch it.

It really is just a horribly insensitive portrayal of suicide. Not to get too personal on main, but if I was seeing volume 9 as a fifteen year old with the problems I had back then instead of where I am now, it would've fucked me up, and made me feel horrible.

Not only should there have been actual proper trigger warnings used (spoilers be damned,) but the RWBY writers never should've purposefully made Ascension/drinking the tea/going to the tree have suicide vibes if they weren't prepared to actually treat it with any sort of respect or seriousness. It's disrespectful, and damaging. It honestly feels like they just did it for shock value, and then half-assed a horribly done 'recovery' and then just pretended that everything was fine now. The writers should know by now to stay away from serious topics, because they're never willing to actually do any work to portray them in a respectful way or make sure it's not literally insulting and triggering and might send their fans into a bad place.

[gnc-tits]

i genuinely have such an issue w how the general internet approaches trigger warnings like on all sides it just fuckin sucks. either theyre completely unnecessary and if u need one ur a baby or u need to tag every possible trigger theres like no in between. and the meaning of what a trigger actually is gets watered in the process like i know this is kind of 2018 to bitch about but i am irritated!!!!!!!!

[the-silver-chronicles]

Watched Fionna And Cake and then remembered Simon and Betty’s story from Adventure Time. Cried. Got a new tragic star-crossed lovers and angst + moving on/coping scenario AU story idea(s) for Silva and Faith/Rachel. Cried harder. Listened to Mitski’s My Love Mine All Mine. Drowned in a river of my own making.

Alright, I must mention, Scenario A is pretty soft compared to Scenario B. You can just read Scenario A and are not obligated to read Scenario B (because I will eventually write out both). I say this because Scenario B has trigger warnings for dark and mature and heavy topics like toxic relationships, unhealthy thought processes like low self-esteem and self-loathing, mental health disorders like depression, and very heavily implied ideation of suicide. Do not read Scenario B if you cannot stomach it. Scenario A is all good though. Just general FC5 + my regular bullshit.

This probably going to be a three parter. So here’s part one, the one I like to call: “The Backstory”.

Now, there’s two ways this could go (since Faith’s/Rachel’s character is interpreted in many different shapes and form).

Now we could go down the softer path (aka Scenario A), and go with the interpretation that Rachel was an impressionable teen caught in a very bad situation with no way out but to keep going forward and being addicted to Bliss. More-or-less like a victim of the cult who has to live up to Joseph’s (the fact I naturally misspelled that as Hoseph makes me laugh out of the unbelievability of it) standards to survive.

Now with this interpretation, the story goes like this. Silva and Rachel met earlier than they did in the main story. Let’s say that Rachel and Tracey entered Hope County and met Silva, and they are looking for a place to stay and actually get better. She gives them a job at Elsa’s Floristry. She and Rachel eventually become girlfriends (haven’t specified how yet). Silva also has a hobby of researching strange histories surrounding cryptic gods or whatever (this is important!) which she blubbers to both women about sometimes. Silva did her damndest to help Rachel overcome her addiction. At this point, let’s say Silva has lost pretty much everyone (both the community + Persephone this time on the Archipelagos and Elsa in Hope County), and now has fallen in love (again) but with this troubled young woman, and to her, this is her last chance to prove that she can do good and be a loving individual, unlike what Adam had told her. Now she devotes her everything to Rachel, and Rachel’s love and safety and happiness is all that truly matters to Silva in this world. Making small sacrifices for Rachel (much like Betty). Then they encounter Eden’s Gate (maybe John), and while Silva and Tracey are hesitant to interact with the cult, Rachel manages to win Silva over going to one sermon and gathering which brings Tracey along with them. Eventually Rachel meets the Father himself, Joseph Seed, and he wants her to be his next Faith, so he’s convinced her to stay in Eden’s Gate. Now details are muddy here, but Tracey warns Silva of the cults true nature and the fates of the Faiths and figure out Rachel’s next. When trying to warn Rachel, she manages to downplay the accusations, thinking Joseph can help her (as well as being in the right) and that nothing is wrong. Tracey, of course, thinks it to be a lost cause convincing Rachel, but Silva is conflicted. She doesn’t good vibes about Eden’s Gate but her girlfriend is saying everything is fine and that she can find help there. She doesn’t want to be anywhere near the cult or Joseph but she can’t leave her only purpose left in life. So Silva, to Tracey’s utter surprise, chooses to stay with Rachel, (and if she has the knowledge that Rachel is going to be Faith, then Silva will still stay, even if the Faith role meant Rachel couldn’t do certain things (like sex or have romantic relationships), Silva would go celibate or even just a friend/priestess/follower, if it meant she could just be with Rachel). She’s convinced to give her (reminder: dead) sister’s floristry to Eden’s Gate to join, and Joseph takes Rachel away for detox. Silva can’t join in and has to be assured by Rachel that everything will be okay…

Everything does not go okay. While separated from Rachel and trying to integrate with Eden’s Gate, she is abruptly kicked out of the cult by Joseph (a rather shocking order from the Voice that shocked even Joseph, with the only reasoning by the New God being “she’s too early”), leaving Silva pretty much blacklisted from all cult properties and Rachel only with Joseph (+ his brothers who don’t care that much about her). Reeling from the fact the cult just stole her girlfriend and her late-sister’s floristry, she has a breakdown, knowing she cannot do anything forward to the cult without assuming Rachel won’t be hurt in the process, and heads home to stable herself. Months later, she meets Rachel, but as Faith, if not more addicted and out of it to Bliss (which she made and was used against her in this scenario at least), and no familiarity or memory of Silva (like Simon/Ice King). The Bliss also acts as an eldritch entity in this, using Faith/Rachel for its own deeds. Silva, distraught, heads home to come up with a game plan. At first she wants to take Eden’s Gate head on, but realises it has too much influence and people are beginning to think Rachel as a villain (+ plus making any kind of move against the cult could lead to Rachel being hurt, either in the process or in retaliation against Silva’s resistance). Feeling so lost, that’s when the Voice decides to chime in (because it’s an asshole). Tells her that “there’s an easier and quicker and more subtle and safer way to do this that even Joseph “fraud ass” won’t expect it” and Silva goes “and what would that be God?” And the Voice replies “Go meet my boss, I mean, the Goddess of Disruption, Jannah (much like GOLB), who had a human from your Tumultite history named after her, who can kill the Bliss and take down Eden’s Gate like it was just a normal and definitely unsupernatural event”. Silva isn’t sure what to believe but goes ahead with it because if it means Faith/Rachel is unharmed then she’ll take it (even if it sounds fake) and also she’s done some study on Jannah so she knows what to minimally expect. The at first terrible but hilarious in hindsight part (which you will find out why it’s funny in the next post) of this is the fact the Voice only intends for her to go on a wild goose chase as it prepares Joseph for New Eden (and torment). Also you know how the Voice said this method of saving Faith/Rachel was quick, easy, and safe? Well, there’s the ironic twist… the method is exactly that. Takes three weeks at most. The preparations and time span to get the necessary tools required though? Takes like almost a decade to put together.

What does this plan to meet Jannah require? Well simple, listed below.

- Two devices capable of breaking space-time-reality and teleporting her to Jannah’s domain (one acting as a vehicle to enter the domain and the other as an anchor to get Silva back).

- An important space-time-reality event (aka The Collapse).

- A high-potency of the Third Eye (to spiritually/mentally(?) interact with and control Jannah).

- A medically comatosed magician to be used as a mental battery and emotional stabiliser (to share the energy and intent Silva needs to transfer into Jannah to trick the goddess into doing what she wants).

- An amulet whose crystal was made from a magical meteorite (or a shooting star that people make wishes from), which original function was to make wishes (like the Ice King’s crown) but changed and adapted throughout history and instead acts as a telepathic tool of some kind/canters the Third Eye (to be used to interact and control Jannah).

And some other things. What she needs to do with all of that list of things is break the First Seal of the Collapse (the arrest), skip Seals 2 to 4 (deaths of John, Jacob and Faith) and have a stalemate at Seal 5 and then 6 (death of the family or in this case more Eden’s Gate members + Resisting Joseph), and during that, destabilising space-time-reality by teleporting in the vehicle and anchor devices around Hope County seven times to both a) power up the machines to get to Jannah, and b) trick the Multiverse into thinking the Collapse is about to happen after thinking Seals 2-6 have already been opened and “mistakingly” (since Silva is intentionally doing it) sending Silva to Jannah’s domain, and having a few minutes opportunity while the Multiverse is confused to mind control Jannah into retconning the seventh seal from “drop three bombs” into “defeat Eden’s Gate, kill the Bliss and save Faith/Rachel, happy ever after”. Not even the Voice would expect it (because it genuinely doesn’t expect it).

She’ll get help from the unlikeliest of individuals of course, not just alone (likes of which includes canon characters like Tweak, Zip and especially Larry, or OCs like the supernatural Priestess Lillith and the Tarot Card Holder), and I’ll talk more of how Silva’s plot in Scenario A goes in the next part (spoilers, things go right and then wrong).

End Scenario A here (don’t read further below if you cannot stomach Scenario B) and part two of this three parter will be “Silva’s Plot”, taking place in the events of FC5 and how things go so wrong.

Okay that’s soft Scenario A. Here is rough and tough and dark and uncomfortable Scenario B!

You know, the interpretation where Rachel/Faith is perfectly fine to be the drug herald who took the “Faith” title as a badge of honour, entirely loyal to Joseph and willingly joined him (though acknowledgement must be made that he did kind of groom her into the “Faith” role as he is a paternal adult figure that influenced her choices… doesn’t change the fact she is killing people here and in canon though) and very confident that she’s not in danger of replacement (despite John and Jacob thinking otherwise), immune to her own product, and knows what she’s doing but believing (albeit misguidedly) that she (and Joseph) are in the right while indulging in a bit of sadism and violence and spite like her brothers. Not entirely innocent now, and the question of whether or not she was a true friend to Tracey being up for debate. Though the drug addict and family abuse and ostracisation is still true I will die on this hill.

Alright… TRIGGER WARNING! From here on out, there will be mentions of: heavily implied suicidal ideation (if this is too much for you, please refresh or stop reading), (fairly certain) either a toxic or just unhealthy heavily one-sided romantic relationship (kind of? Like there’s love but it’s not appreciated that much and almost expected but also thought of as disposable so yeah? It’s not great, or good and definitely needs counselling badly so let’s go with that), blatant gaslighting and manipulation, minor discussion of depression and self-loathing and other things. I’m thinking of labelling it “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”.

Okay, Scenario B, is different. Silva meeting Rachel and Tracey, getting both a job but also falling in love and getting in a relationship with the former? Still the same. Silva devoting her all into it? Still the same. Silva and Tracey helping Rachel with detoxing. Still the same. Only difference is that Rachel is using the relationship for her own gain. The attention, the adoration, the help, the good times. Feeding off it but not really appreciating it. Then we meet Joseph and Eden’s Gate. Joseph takes a shine to Rachel and she likes the detox help and desires and power he offers. Uses her relationship with Silva to get Joseph the floristry and Silva’s involvement in the cult. Rachel becomes Faith, Tracey angrily peaces out, and Silva is willing to stay no matter what. Only for Joseph to kick her out. The big difference here though? Faith also reinforces Joseph’s word, telling Silva straight to her face that “she doesn’t need Silva anymore”, completely shattering Silva’s heart. And Silva does not take it well. You know how I said Silva was invested in the relationship to the point it was her only and final purpose? I was not kidding. Every one she’s ever loved to her knowledge is completely dead from circumstances out of her control (the massacre, Elsa’s accident, Persephone’s terminal illness, etc). In her mind, she has failed as a daughter, sister, lover, friend, mother and a functional human being in general. Now, to herself, she’s failed the lover and protector role… again. This is twice for those two. She is just lost and in despair, wishing for the small things in life, for the important needs, like her community, her neighbours, like her adoptive padre’s love, her sister’s companionship, her unconditional and undying love towards her daughter Persephone. Hell, even the romance with Irene and Rachel. She craves and wants all of it, and believes she just can’t do it right (and the fact the second prophet of God she’s met in her life believes her to be unworthy of joining only makes her self-esteem worse). She’s sick and tired of pain after suffering after failure and just wants to cease. Be in an eternal state of love and happiness in a world that accepts her. She’s depressed and in a state of self-loathing. And she can’t escape. So what happens?

The Voice (yeah, that dick) comes along and goes “hey, here’s an idea, find Jannah and have your world while vanishing in this one”. Silva asks “why would I do something as insane and nonsensical as that?” And the Voice says the worse thing ever “because it would be better if you just ceased in this world.” Yeah, he went that low. So Silva decides to go on a literal mission to privately do that, following the instructions in Scenario A, as not to (what she believes she’s doing) negatively interfere in everybody else’s life, especially Rachel’s/Faith’s. I must remind everyone: This is a very sad tale, with a lot of bitter and bleakness and very minimal sweetness in it at first (unlike Scenario A which is just bittersweet through and through).

That’s “The Backstory” for both done. I’ll be writing out part 2 “Silva’s Plot” in some time.

Bye yo!

[beneathashadytree]

A WORRYING DISAPPEARANCE - TEXTING THE LOVE AND DEEPSPACE MEN

Warnings : implied worrying about suicide, implied worrying about death, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : hurt/comfort for the soul

Additional notes : If the topics discussed here are triggering for you, please do not continue reading for your own safety!❤️I can’t imagine how the men would feel after being put in a situation like this. The videos I see online of people suddenly texting their loved ones that they love them, and seeing their worried reactions… we really should verbalize our feelings more often so we never have any regrets☹️☹️ To anyone else reading this, my requests are still closed!! These are just old requests I had in my inbox🫶🏽

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[pressplay-if]

Press Play Track 2: Untamed Youth now up on Dashingdon!

Chapter 2 (or Track 2, as I've titled it): Untamed Youth is finally ready for you! Mind the content warnings.

Trigger warnings: discussions of self-harm, suicidal ideation, mental illness, implied parental abuse, unhealthy relationships, underage drinking and smoking and substance abuse. [18+.]

Press Play.

61k words added; full demo length now at 118.885 words

psst! reblogs are appreciated (if you like this)!

[teasers/mild spoilers] In this one, you will:

meet Zima, completing the cast!

have an impactful discussion with Kalena and Russell Graham.

learn about the MC's past hospitalization and customize its cause.

learn about and customize the MC's past relationship with Zima.

receive an invitation.

[curiositysavesthecat]

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).