#( donnie is such a family oriented character... and he both loves the idea of a family and hates it )

[priestbitmoved]

                                  [ ˑ ˑ ˑ ] 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑰𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑺 & 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 , a comprehensive study.

This meta will discuss Donnie's relationship with his actual family members and his relationship with family as a concept. Here I'll be exploring how his attitude towards it has shifted and changed throughout his life. I will be touching on some fairly triggering topics in this meta, all of which have been tagged and listed below. For that reason, this meta is under a read more. Please take care when reading, and don't worry if you aren't in the headspace to read this, there's no hard feelings.

Please be aware that the following topics will be discussed, some in greater detail than others: addiction, child neglect/abuse, allusions to csa, religious trauma, homophobia, pregnancy, addiction, drug use, alcoholism, family death, suicide, trauma, and discussions of war.

Donnie, despite all the misconceptions one may have of him, is motivated by family and legacy. It haunts him in a way that nobody talks about. Every man in the Watts family tree, as far back as they can trace being in the States, has served the military in one way or the other. Every man in the Watts family, since the end of the Civil War, has owned and trained horses for one purpose or the other. They may not have been in that profession their entire lives, but they all started there. Donnie did. His father did. His brother did. You get the idea. This is part of the reason why Donnie always felt so conflicted about what he'd do once he'd graduated high school. Would he continue the family legacy and enlist like his father had? Would he follow in his brother's footsteps and look to make a name for himself as a rancher? Or would he follow his heart and become a rockstar?

Ultimately, Donnie decided to follow his heart. He's always had something to prove, his mother made sure of that. He was going to make his family (and to him, at the age of nineteen, his family consisted of his brother, his sister-in-law, his niece, and his nephew) proud. He was going to do something that would, in his eyes, make him worthy of their love. Achieving his dreams would also show them how good of a job they did in taking him in, as he always feels as though he owes them for that (even though they volunteered to do it, and were happy to help out their little brother. Brody especially, as he carries so much guilt for leaving Donnie alone with their mother in the first place.)

I think that, as a child, Donnie based his notion of family off of what his mother told him. His idea of what a family should be was very much in line with the nuclear family, a mother, a father, the white picket fence, and two children. The idea of it was hammered into his head so often-and so brutally-that he felt othered by the fact that he was being raised by a single mother. This othering led to him resenting the very idea of the family home. He hated it whenever his mother would try to engage in things like family dinner at the dining table. Or dragging him to church every Sunday because that's what families were supposed to do.

When he was taken away from his mother at the age of twelve, he was introduced to what an actual, healthy family unit looked like. Brody Watts had gotten away from Texas and made a damn good life for himself. He had two beautiful kids, a wife who adored him, and Dogwood Ranch in his care. Spending his teen years with Brody and Cassidy helped heal a lot of childhood wounds, so much so that by the time his eighteenth birthday rolls around and his mother contacts him for the final guilt trip he'll ever receive from her all he can do is feel hatred for her. Hatred for her and love for the brother who'd taken him in, love for the sister-in-law who had become the older sister he'd always wanted, and love for the kids who called him 'Uncle D!' whenever they saw him. He wanted that. He wanted a home like theirs, warm and welcoming and the total opposite of the crucifix-infested battlefield that his mother had raised him in.

His early twenties were rough. Addled by fame he was not prepared for, and an addiction to anything that takes him skywards for a couple of hours. Heroin was the real killer. He overdosed twice, and was saved twice by a family he didn't share a single drop of blood with. Rancid Creature wasn't just a successful metal band, Rancid Creature was Donnie's entire world, and a love letter to the dear friend he'd lost in Lee Bennett (who had conceptualised the band when they were thirteen and still fumbling their way through learning how to play their instruments. Lee played bass, Donnie was the drummer. The dream rhythm section.) Izzy, Sammy and Clara were, and still are, like siblings to Donnie. He would drop anything to help them... he knew it wasn't the conventional family, but it was his. It was the only one he could have around all the touring and the TV interviews anyway.

Family wasn't just a loving partner and a couple of kids running around to Donnie anymore. But it's the prospect of a family that ultimately pushed him into getting clean. Anita Huerta, a long-term on and off girlfriend, revealed that she was pregnant, and that she wanted to keep the baby. She wanted to get clean for the baby, and so did Donnie. He'd swore years before that he'd never abandon his children, he'd never subject them to his bullshit the same way his mother had. Donnie, wanting nothing more than to cultivate a warm, safe, family environment for his and Anita's child, got clean.

Now that he's in his early thirties, he knows that he doesn't need to have the conventional nuclear family to be happy. A happy family home doesn't look the same for everyone, and despite the fact that he's always stressing over being as good a dad to Emma as possible, he knows this. Family is whoever you feel safe with, family is whoever helps when you're at your worst, family isn't just blood. Donnie took a long time coming to this conclusion, and he still struggles with undoing the mess his mother made of his brain, but he's there. And he doesn't intend on backing away from it anytime soon.

For some quick-fire headcanons about Donnie's family members and his relationships with those family members, look no further!

𝑅𝐸: 𝑀𝐸𝐿𝐼𝑆𝑆𝐴 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Willa Fitzgerald & Mary Mcdonnell. )

Melissa Rose was the youngest of five daughters. Her father detested the fact that his wife would only ever give him daughters when what he really wanted was sons. This made him angry, abusive, unfaithful, and a drunkard. Her father, Adam, was a Baptist pastor. His sermons were the very definition of 'Brimstone and Hellfire.' He was a stern but charming man, with an agreeable face and the picture-perfect family. He was all about image, and this attitude would stick with Melissa all her life.

She actually wanted to run away from Texas her whole life, she had dreams of becoming a Hollywood star. She was always told that she was pretty enough to be in the movies.

Melissa married Colton Watts on a total whim, their romance was an intense whirlwind of emotions and intimacy. She'd never been treated so kindly by a man before Colton came along. He promised her the world. And then he went to war.

When Colton returned home, he was a totally different man. He was emptier than she remembered him, and she was resentful. He would have weeks, even months, of being the happy-go-lucky sweetheart she'd married. Then he'd retreat into himself and would prefer to speak to the horses he cared for than he would to her.

Eleven years of unsteady marriage later, Brody Watts was born. The euphoria of being a new parent didn't last long, Colton would soon retreat back into the stables. The same would happen ten years later when Donovan was born.

After Colton's death, and after Brody ran away from his mother's venomous tongue, Melissa was left alone to raise her youngest son. She never called him Donnie, she would only ever call him Donovan.

Donnie, as a toddler, would actually prefer the company of his mother. He enjoyed being bounced on her hip while she went about the household chores. He enjoyed listening to her read. He found his father to be something of a ghost. However, he did run and hide under Brody's bed whenever she'd get into one of her bad moods. She was vicious, a caged animal unleashed on her family.

When Colton died, Donnie was seven. And Melissa fell hard into heavy drinking. Her fuse grew shorter, and even the smallest of mistakes made by Donnie would set her off. If he cried? She'd shout. If he spilt or dropped something? She'd shout. Without even realising it, Melissa had become her father.

Donnie grew older, more vocal, and pushed back against Melissa's temper. He was rewarded with violence, with unwarranted sermons. She would punish him by making him copy entire verses from the Bible by hand. She would take scissors to his hair whenever he refused to go and get it cut. Donnie's defensive, and often explosive temper, was born here. As was his desire to solve everything with his fists.

Melissa didn't hide what she thought of her son from him. She thought he was gay, and would tell him so. She would often fling slurs at him. She thought he was a sinful child, a demon given to her as punishment for running away from her family with his father. She would tell him this too.

She would also blame him routinely for his father's death. Something that Donnie still hasn't been able to shake.

Donnie was sent to a "summer camp" that the local church ran by his mother to "fix" his behaviour. The children would learn to camp, would learn to work, and would learn to be "more Christian" in their attitudes. It was essentially a behaviour retreat for delinquent kids. It was here that one of the pastors would assault Donnie.

The second he returned home, Donnie bypassed telling his mother anything and took himself straight to the local sheriff's station. He told them everything about the pastor, and about his mother. The sheriff was an old army friend of Colton's and had suspected that something was amiss for years. He was the one who saw to it that the social services took Donnie away from Melissa.

Donnie hasn't seen his mother since, and he hasn't heard from her since his eighteenth birthday. He doesn't even know if she's still alive or not, he hasn't thought to check. He's glad to have cut her out of his life, even if there has always been a longing in him to try and get through to her. Sometimes he misses her reading to him as a child, sometimes he misses her embrace. Sometimes he just wants his mom.

He only ever refers to her as 'mother' or 'Melissa.' Only in really vulnerable moments does he ever slip up and call her 'mom.'

A lot of Donnie's self-loathing stems from the way his mother treated him. A lot of Donnie's internal homophobia stems from his mother. A lot of Donnie's issues with his own masculinity stem from his mother. All of his issues with religion and the idea of a benevolent god stem from his mother's attitudes and the fact that she sent him away to that "summer camp." He's slowly coming to terms with this and feels so much resentment towards her for it that whenever she's mentioned he tends to get stiff and oddly quiet. It takes him a long time to learn to talk about her without feeling angry, and he does so for Emma's sake.

Donnie looks most like his mother, with her soft features, curly hair, and pretty green eyes. It's why he'd always take great offence to anybody ever calling him a girl when he was a teenager.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐶𝑂𝐿𝑇𝑂𝑁 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Robert Redford. )

Colton was the middle child out of three. His older brother, Tristan, died in France, and his youngest brother, Michael, moved to Europe in the summer of forty-seven. His parents owned Dogwood Ranch, as many Watts had before them. It was the ancestral home of the Watts family.

He was raised Catholic, as many are in Longing.

He moved to Texas with his older brother to pursue a Rodeo career. Colton was a promising young Bronc rider and adored working with horses more than anything else. He also enjoyed playing guitar and singing. Music was always going to be a huge part of Donnie's life.

It was there he met Melissa Rose, who looked as though she'd just wandered off of a movie set. Colton was smitten with her, and she was smitten with him. They were young and reckless and felt invincible, and Colton wanted to give Melissa the world. They were married within six months, and, with Tristain's help, living on a plot of land in Copeville within the year.

Then he enlisted and went to war. Colton took his guitar with him to France and would sing for his fellow soldiers whenever he was able. He kept them entertained and happy despite the horrors they saw. He burned his candle at both ends and returned with bullet holes in his guitar, and holes in his heart.

He tried to fight the numbness with all his might. He tried to be present for his sons, but he'd often find himself feeling the chill of The Bulge even in the height of a Texan summer and would slip into his own mind for hours at a time.

To cope, Colton hid himself away in the shed or the stables, fearing what he might do if he was around his family for any longer than a few hours at a time. He could not trust his own body or mind.

As a result, his sons often saw him as a stranger. He tried to make up for it by teaching them guitar chords, showing them how to handle horses, or singing with them. He felt especially close to Donnie, who seemed to take better to his musical inclinations than Brody did. Brody seemed more interested in horses.

Donnie recalls several key moments with his father. Being taught to play the guitar, how to handle a gun, how to ride, how to be a Bronc rider, and being taken to Dallas when his father was due to meet with old war buddies.

Whenever talking about his father, Donnie often calls him his 'old man.' He seems to talk about him with far more respect than he ever does with his mother, despite feeling like he hardly knew him. Donnie also feels an affinity with his father now that he's an adult, especially since he's been through trauma and had to deal with the aftermath.

Donnie still owns his father's guitar, it's easily his most prized possession. He owned a silver signet ring with a cursive 'W' on it that his dad took with him to France and gave to Donnie for good luck. The ring had been in the Watts family for as long as anybody can remember. Donnie gives it to James Gallowes for good luck and as a symbol of his love for him.

In terms of appearance, Donnie takes after Colton's physical build. Looking at photographs of the two of them where their faces aren't visible, you could be forgiven for thinking it's the same person. Donnie also has his father's toothy smile and, according to Brody, Donnie's voice is freakishly similar to their dad's.

Donnie used to resent the fact that Colton put a bullet in his own mouth. It sent Brody away because it made Melissa worse.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐵𝑅𝑂𝐷𝑌 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Charlie Hunnam. )

Brody is ten years older than Donnie. Has their mother's softer face shape like Donnie does, but the rest of his face is all Colton. Right down to the scruffy blond beard and pin-straight hair. Brody's whole demeanour is gruff, but kind. He's quick to smile and far more optimistic than his younger brother.

When they were kids, Brody would jokingly refer to Donnie as Yosemite Sam from Looney Tunes whenever Donnie lost his temper. It's why Donnie has a Yosemite Sam tattoo on his arm.

Brody always stepped in and took Donnie away from their mother whenever her temper would flare, and would play with him or read to him to keep him occupied. Sometimes he'd take Donnie up to the stables to look after the horses with him. In that way, Brody was more a parent to Donnie than their actual parents were.

At first, Donnie was confused when Brody took off after Colton's death. Then his mother got worse, and then he got angry at him for abandoning him with their mother. He was so angry that a month into being put into Brody and Cassidy's care, the two had a fight that almost came to blows. It didn't, because Brody outright refused to hurt Donnie anymore than he'd already been hurt. This made Donnie break down and cry. Brody held him and the two spoke about things more calmly.

This blowout didn't diffuse Donnie's resentment entirely, but it helped Donnie understand his brother's reasons for leaving.

The ten-year gap between the two meant that talking as brothers was often difficult for them. But Brody always did his best to be patient with Donnie, to be careful around his trauma and what might set him off. He would also cut through Donnie's moping and ensure that he wasn't self-sabotaging.

Brody also gives full embarrassing dad energy whenever Donnie's got friends over. He endearingly refers to Donnie, Lee and James as 'The Three Stooges.' James would also often find himself staying over at Dogwood Ranch after Donnie discovers that his uncle is mistreating him. Brody allows it because he really wants to encourage Donnie to be more emotionally vulnerable and have more friends.

Donnie and Brody love each other fiercely and will jump to one another's defence without question, even if they find it hard to have deep discussions without the help of a few beers.

Donnie hates disappointing Brody (and by extension, Cassidy), and so doesn't reach out to him for help when he should. He often needs pushing into contacting Brody by his bandmates whenever something's going wrong or he's struggling with Emma on his own.

Donnie's object permeance (yay ADHD!) extends to people. This means, that if things aren't in his immediate everyday life, he tends to neglect them. This makes him terrible at calling Brody and keeping in touch, thankfully, both Brody and Cassidy understand this and will often check in with him of their own volition.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐶𝐴𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐷𝑌 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fc : Freema Agyeman. )

Cassidy Jonas met Brody Watts and immediately fell in love. They bonded over a love of horses, rock music, and spicy food. They just clicked. Their friendship turned into love and ended with them married at the age of twenty-one. It was the most natural thing in the world.

Cassidy Watts was pregnant with twins when Donnie Watts crossed the threshold of Dogwood for the first time. He reminded her of her grandmother's three-legged cat, Nelson, who used to swipe at newcomers whenever they entered whichever room he happened to be sleeping in. He was jittery and jumped at every little noise. It broke her heart to learn what had happened to him, it made her angry too. Brody had to talk her out of driving to Copeville and giving Melissa Watts a piece of her mind. She couldn't conceive of ever hurting her children.

At first, Cassidy attempted to approach Donnie with kid gloves. That seemed to send him further into his shell. What seemed to appeal to him was being spoken to like an adult. A person in his own right. So she did. Because of the honesty between them, Donnie and Cassidy grew close.

Donnie had the messiest, most unhealthy head of curls when he came to Longing, and not a few months later, Cassidy had them styled and healthier than ever. Being a black woman with tight, coiled hair, she was perfectly qualified to help Donnie treat his curls properly. It was a long, careful routine that Donnie keeps to even now in his early thirties.

After the twins were born, Donnie took to being an uncle like a duck to water. He helped Cassidy with feeding them whenever Brody was out working, and would often keep them entertained when he wasn't out causing mischief with his new friends.

When Donnie's fifteen, Cassidy started to attend classes in hopes of becoming a Doctor or a Nurse, as she'd always dreamed of becoming one as a child.

If asked, Donnie would name Cassidy as the woman who raised him. She was the one who helped him out of panic attacks and soothed him whenever he couldn't sleep, she was the one who talked to him about his romantic feelings for James, she was the one who encouraged him to follow his heart after he graduated. She was also the person who put him in his place whenever he was letting his anger get the better of him.

Donnie almost exclusively calls Cassidy 'Cass', and it's always with the utmost affection. He adores her with his entire being.

Cassidy is also the first person Donnie comes out to, officially. She's the person he turns to whenever he finds himself stuck. He knows she won't judge him or think less of him for messing up. Neither would Brody, but Donnie isn't so confident with that knowledge. He's getting there.

𝑅𝐸: 𝐺𝐼𝑁𝐴 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐽𝑂𝑁𝐴𝐻 𝑊𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑆 ( fcs : undecided. )

Georgina and Jonah Watts are fraternal twins and are the only two children of Brody and Cassidy Watts. Donnie views the pair of them as his younger siblings.

The twins refer to Donnie as 'Don' or 'Uncle D' pretty much exclusively.

Gina falls in love with rock music because of her parents and falls deeper in love with metal and alternative music because of Donnie. Donnie often catches her rifling through his tapes when he's not keeping an eye on her. When he leaves Longing, he actually leaves the vast majority of his tapes and vinyl at Dogwood, so that Gina can listen to them. Gina also gifts Donnie with an Iron Maiden poster on his fourteenth birthday, Cassidy informs him that she wanted to give her uncle a present that meant a lot to him. He still has the poster now, it's in a frame on the wall of his office.

Jonah and Donnie bond over horses. Brody held no interest in actually participating in any kind of Rodeo events, and neither did Donnie, but Donnie knew a couple of tricks to help Jonah get started. He showed him how to ride and how to tend to the horses alongside Brody. Jonah also shares Donnie's love of Star Wars and sci-fi. He even starts to copy Donnie when Donnie starts keeping journals and writing things like song lyrics down. Jonah's got a big imagination and an even bigger heart. Donnie encourages him to feel things unapologetically and to talk to his parents when things are bothering him. When he leaves Dogwood, Donnie leaves a good chunk of his books with Jonah, knowing he'll take care of them.

Donnie misses a good chunk of the twins' milestones while he's touring with Rancid Creature, but that doesn't stop them from sending him letters and getting excited whenever he calls. He feels guilty for not being there more for them during this time, and he's always trying to make up for it, even though they hold no hard feelings over it.

Donnie also misses these milestones because he's too high, which he feels deeply ashamed of, despite the understanding he gets from Brody, Cass and the twins.

He might be terrible at calling, but Donnie has an uncanny ability to remember dates, even when he's deep in the throes of addiction and depression. He always sends thoughtful gifts and birthday cards/letters to his niece and nephew. He dedicates more than a couple of songs and awards for his music to them and their parents.

He's their favourite uncle, despite being their only uncle. And they will die defending him. They even show up to one of Rancid Creature's shows in Santa Fe to surprise him one year, and Donnie almost cries with happiness at seeing them. That's his little sister and his little brother! And he will die for them!

[freedomaddict]

my own personal opinion on the rottmnt turtles in hogwarts houses:

Miguel: Ravenclaw. Mikey is SUPER creative, it's kind of his thing. Ravenclaws also value wit, and all of Mikey's jokes are well-timed, he's got a mental sharpness and has an inventive way to make a joke. He's also really smart - the episode with the mystic metal? he says to raph "we're not saying you never have good ideas, we're just saying that sometimes we do to!" he's got street smarts and creative smarts, and strategic smarts. (he could really be any house, i think

Ravenclaw would be the best fit tho) he's the ravenclaw who you think doesn't belong there, but once you get to know the house you'd never be able to imagine him anywhere else.

Big Red: Hufflepuff! Raph is like ... the definition of Hufflepuff. Loyalty, patience, trust, strong sense of justice, hard-working. Literally Raph. I think he could be in Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, but Hufflepuff would suit him best (in my opinion.) Plus, he's always trying to better the team by doing team building exercises (at least i think he does that often, seems like something he'd do) and teamwork is a big part of the hufflepuff house. he's the stereotype of the house - looks open and friendly, who's hugs are warm and safe.

Von Ryan: Slytherin. Before anyone yells, I'm both a donnie kinnie and a slytherin. Donnie belongs here lmao. The way he always tries to improve himself and is extremely goal-oriented. Slytherins value resourcefulness, and Donnie has had to learn to be resourceful when living in the sewers. He gets all of his stuff from a junkyard. Plus, dry humor? perfectionist? big on cost/benefit analysis? donnie fr. he seems like the stereotypical slytherin, the one who's quiet and everyone thinks is evil. (he'd also excel at potions.)

Leon: Tbh, he's pretty hard. I think he could either be gryffindor or slytherin, but also ravenclaw and fit almost perfectly in those houses, but I think he belongs in slytherin. im also a leo kinnie (heh) and honestly? Sarcastic humor, confident (or pretends to be,) competitive and charismatic? literally both signs of gryffindor and slytherin? it's so hard but he has a practical eye and the ability to quickly adapt when needed. he also has a lot of common sense, instead of taking on things he knows he can't do he results in something achievable (paper theives) and he's incredibly persuasive, a trait valued by slytherins. he seems like the slytherin who thinks they're better than everyone else, and once you get to know them you realize they actually are.

April: Hard one! She's so spunky and full pf personality (i love her so much) but i think she belongs in gryffindor. The first episode alone shows me that. Gryffindor traits are bravery, honor, loyalty, boldness and have strong moral centers. I think this is mostly shown in her interactions with the boys. (which is like the only interactions she has ok i know) She's willing to dive head-first into a conflict if it meant she could help her family somehow. There's no doubt that she would go to the ends of the earth for them, and if you think she'd turn her back her boys, you're crazy.

Cassandra: Gryffindor. Don't argue. When reading her wiki (it describes the characters way more in depth than i could) it talks about how much she values being loyal to the foot clan and how energetic/enthusiastic she is. She's courageous and stands up for what she believes is right, just like a gryffindor. She's always wanting to better herself and is quite stubborn.

Casey Jr: I know what house he's in, but i almost didn't want to sort him because it meant someone would be alone...he's a hufflepuff, through and through (i feel bad for leaving mikey alone, but he'll make friends soon enough.) Casey is hard-working and loyal, as we can see in the movie - taking on the mission leo told him to, and not once complaining, just worried about how he could complete it. He is honest the whole way through, not sugar coating anything to beating around the bush. and unafraid of being direct. He's also very polite and kind (i love him guys) and listens to other's input and ideas.

[your-sovereign-ruler]

I posted 669 times in 2022

That's 202 more posts than 2021!

34 posts created (5%)

635 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

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I tagged 100 of my posts in 2022

#i love them your honor - 13 posts

#writing - 6 posts

#mha - 5 posts

#my hero academia - 5 posts

#witchcraft - 4 posts

#asexual - 4 posts

#witchblr - 4 posts

#acearo - 3 posts

#fanfiction - 3 posts

#rottmnt - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 90 characters

#something something the grief of a parent who lost their kid's childhoods without noticing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

ROTTMNT Theory

So I was doing some research on turtles (I'm big into herps), and the video I was watching threw out a random comment about Alligator Snapper's lifespans. This piqued my curiosity, so I did a quick search of how long the other three Rise turtle species live.

The shortest lifespan goes to the Spiny Softshell (Donnie). They only live about 20 years.

Next was the Red-Eared Slider (Leo) at 30 years.

Following that is the Oriental Box Turtle (Mikey), which doesn't have a confirmed maximum lifespan, but typically lives between 40-50 years in captivity.

Finally, the Alligator Snapping Turtle (Raph), lives between 150 and 200 years.

Even if their original species' lifespans aren't observed perfectly in-universe, because they do have human DNA which would probably serve to extend the shorter-lived one's lifespan, that's still a massive difference.

Raph is going to outlive his brothers. Most likely by a huge margin.

Even if their lives are extended to a normal human lifespan of about 80 years, they won't be around for even half as long as he will.

I just think it's so sad that the guy who lives for his family, who would die for them, will have to watch them grow old and leave him. He's going to end up alone.

14 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#4

Oh yeah? Well I'm 16 and I learned THIS from a rat!

*Plays your bones like a keyboard and shuts down your nervous system*

27 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

#3

Art for my Soul Eater x FNAF Security Breach AU!

I originally suggested this in @bamsara 's stream yesterday, and I'm so glad that so many people ran with the idea!

The vague outline for this is that Sun and Moon are both weapons that are cursed by a witch to only be able to transform together. She also makes them look more like their in-game selves because I say so.

The appearance of their weapon form changes depending on who's in charge. When Sun's controlling the transformation, they're a double-bladed halberd. It's about 6.5 feet long, with stylized sun-shaped cutouts on each blade. Under the base of the axeheads, there's a red ribbon wrapped around the staff, with gold bells.

When Moon's in charge, they're a haladie dagger. They're only about 9 inches long in this form. The grip is blue leather with a crescent moon decal, and the guards at the base of each blade are bells.

Sun is best used for more distanced fighting because personality-wise I think he'd prefer that their meister stay as far away from their enemy as possible. Conversely, Moon's a knife because he's a bit more feral. I've been toying with the idea that the curse they have can influence the meister using them, so they would actually go into a bloodlust using Moon's form if they're not careful.

They would have been attacked by a witch when they were in their tweens, and the spell was originally to make them super aggressive and loyal to the witch (and look inhuman so people were less inclined to help them or hear them out if they asked for help.) Moon would have taken the brunt of this to protect Sun, which is why his weapon form has a much bigger effect on the meister's psyche. This is pulling from my understanding of the game, how Moon was affected by the Afton virus while Sun wasn't (or at least to a far lesser extent). While the effect is less extreme or obvious, Sun's weapon form can cause their meister to become extremely protective, to the point of self-destructive behaviors.

Lord Death, best dad of all the dads, was very understanding of their problem, and their vendetta against witches in general. He allowed them to enroll in DWMA, but keeps a close eye on them and their meister to ensure that the curse doesn't get the best of them.

Their meister is going to be Y/n, because x reader fics are cool actually. I won't be making the fic NSFW, or even have fade to black sort of scenes. I think I'll stick with platonic/romantic sort of stuff, with room to interpret it as the reader would like.

So, yeah, that's what I have so far. Feel free to use any ideas here, but please don't directly copy my art or the whole of the plot in something.

43 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

#2

Book of Boba Fett Spoilers

In the first episode of The Book of Boba Fett, we saw a lot of twi'leks. Which was pretty cool. They're one of my favorite species! But, there was something that really caught my eye about one of them.

In the cantina, there were two twi'leks who came up to greet Boba Fett and Fennic.

These two. Pretty cool! We love seeing twi'leks out of enslavement! And I think this is the first time we've seen a yellow twi'lek in live action, too.

But on to the science!

One of the less noticeable morphological differences between biologically male and female twi'leks are their ears.

Male twi'lek's have humanoid, pointed ears. They tend to stay flatter to the head.

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52 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theory

I absolutely love this show, and I really love how the turtles have such a sweet relationship with each other and Splinter. However, I've been bothered by how Splinter insists on calling them by their color, rather than by their names. I mean, I think this is the only version where they actually call him "dad"!

I believe that I've figured it out.

In the episode "Goyles, Goyles, Goyles," we see our lovely boy Lu has sworn off fighting and is just acting like a sweetheart. He's immediately enamored by Draxom's little turtles, and, rather unimaginatively, names them all "green".

Though he seems to really like them, they're obviously normal turtles. It doesn't really matter what he names them.

Now, once Draxam starts the procedure, Lu's upset that the turtles are being mutated into weapons (what an absolute softie, my goodness), and he interrupts the procedure. Now, the turtles are obviously no longer just turtles, but the extent of it is probably up in the air. Lu probably had no clue what he had to expect, but he still grabbed the tiny anthropomorphic turtles anyway, like a boss.

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218 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

Okay--I'd LOVE to hear how you came up with those astrological signs for the boys! Tell us, please! ^_^

AND I SHALL !!!

Something I like to do usually when creating characters - or simply trying to come up with a “fleshed out” personality for existing characters, is that I often go read astrological signs’ descriptions. Often those things are very cliché and don’t really make a lot of sense, but it is a good baseline for expanding on character development.

Leo

Capricorn (Dec.22 - Jan.19) (I personally HC that his birthday is in January)

“ Smart, hardworking, and fully in control of their destiny, a Capricorn will always get what they set their mind to, in both personal and professional life—no excuses. Capricorns may get a reputation as stubborn, but they simply know what they want, and also know how they wish other people would behave. Natural rule-followers, Capricorns thrive on order and love strict rules, hierarchies, and set ways to do things. Can a Capricorn think outside the box? Yes, they can, but they prefer when they have strict boundaries to constrain against—free reign can make them feel paralyzed by choice. “ (source)

“ Capricorn’s personality traits are derived from its receptive, feminine, or yin qualities, making this sign oriented toward contemplation and engagement with inner awareness. Alive in both a Capricorn woman or Capricorn man, those born with the Sea-Goat as their rising, sun, or moon sign have a discipline, masterful, and determined energy in the core of their personality; an echo of the resilience and resourcefulness needed to survive the cold season of their birth.As a cardinal sign, Capricorn holds the qualities of being an achiever, a builder, and a climber, able to set and conquer the loftiest goals one step at a time. Those born with the sign of the Sea-Goat prominent in their charts are great at being determined, consistent, and reliable. They often over-deliver on their promises and take their honor and public reputation very seriously. Ruled by Saturn, the primary Capricorn strengths can be found in their perseverance, longevity, and focused self-mastery. Coolheaded and down to earth, they have strong powers of discernment. They are often good Saturnian judges of character and can be approached for pragmatic advice and a fair verdict.Ruled by Saturn, the Sea-Goat does not shy away from commitment, but rather requires it of their friends, business partners, and lovers before they can fully trust. As a result, your Sea-Goat friend may be one of your most loyal allies, unless of course, you cross them in a business deal.Capricorns may not be seeking fame or glamour in the obvious sense, yet are known for their enduring beauty and classic elegance. Those born under the Sea-Goat are old souls who traditionally are understood to age in reverse. They usually begin life with the weight of the world on their shoulders that they gradually learn to let go of over the years. Humor is one of Capricorn’s most underrated strengths, which is an important source of their resiliency.Natives from this sign see the world with a pragmatic and sober eye, so have long ago made their peace with the shadows of mortality and human frailty. It is this shadow and frailty that they seek to laugh with, developing a dark, rueful humor to help them survive and endure. “ (source)

Raph

Cancer (Jun.21 - Jul.22) (Can we HC that his birthday is on July 4th x’D yes? Yes.)

“ Emotional, intuitive, and practically psychic; ruled by the moon and characterized by the crab, Cancer has so much going on in its watery depths. Cancers may seem prickly and standoffish at first meeting, once they make the decision to become friends with someone, that person has a friend for life. Most Cancers have been called psychic at some point, and with good reason—Cancer can often intuit relationships, ideas, and motivations before anyone has actually spoken. That can make for challenging interactions with this sign—Cancer hates small talk, especially when it contains white lies (like saying, "How nice to see you!" when it's clear that both parties would rather avoid each other). That's why social gatherings can be overwhelming for Cancers. They'd much rather spend time in small groups where everyone is on the same page. “ (source)

“Ruled by the moon, Cancer’s archetypal traits are derived from its receptive, feminine, or yin qualities, making this sign oriented toward contemplation, and engagement with inner awareness. Alive in both a Cancer woman or Cancer man, those born with the Crab as their rising, sun, or moon sign have a sensitive, intuitive, and protective awareness in the core of their personality; an echo of the life-supporting and sustaining energies of the Summer season.As a cardinal sign, Cancer takes leadership in the roles of being a nurturer, host, protector, and caretaker. Those born with the sign of the Crab prominent in their charts are focused on forming and maintaining family ties. They are naturally empathic, sentimental, and home-loving by nature. The primary Cancer strengths can be found in their kind, giving, and sympathetic natures. Always ready to host, and set a table, they can be counted on to feed and care for friends, family, and any weary traveler that stays in their home. With strong empathic powers and talents for healing, Cancer natives can sense what others need, often long before they have articulated it themselves.The famous sideways walk of the Crab can be observed in the cautious way a Cancer native enters a space or social gathering. They tend to come in quietly, carefully surveying their surroundings, before they open and reveal their whole selves. This protective instinct makes Cancerians good at reading the emotional tone in a room, helping them anticipate danger or crisis early. “ (source)

Donnie

Libra (Sep.23 - Oct.22) (I HC his birthday in October)

“ Intelligent, kind, and always willing to put others before themselves, Libras value harmony in all forms. Ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty, Libra adores a life that looks good. As the master of compromise and diplomacy, Libra is adept at seeing all points of view, and excels at crafting compromises and effecting mediation between others. This sign has a rich inner life yet loves other people, and they're always happiest with a large group of friends, family, and coworkers on whom they can count. An air sign, Libra can often be "up in the clouds," and while he or she is amazing at making big plans, follow through can be tricky. Working with detail-oriented signs, like Virgos or Capricorns, can help Libras actually manifest their dreams into reality, especially in the workspace. But don't call out Librans for daydreaming—their imagination is one of their biggest assets, and they often put their imagination to work by finding careers in the arts or in literature. “ (source)

“ Libra’s archetypal traits are derived from its active, masculine, or yang qualities, making this sign oriented toward engagement with the outer world. Alive in both a Libra woman or Libra man, those born with the planet of love as their rising, sun, or moon sign have an equanimous energy in their core personality. As a cardinal air sign, Libra holds the qualities of social initiation and leadership. This makes those with Libra prominent in their charts great at pioneering social projects and gatherings, and naturals at unifying their team, family, or community.Natives from this sign can be thought of as “the diplomats” of the zodiac, acting as active mediators and negotiators in any crisis or challenge. Being ruled by the planet of pleasure and attraction, Libra is usually quick to forgive and eager to smooth out differences so that everyone can get back to enjoying the finer aspects of life. Libra’s great strengths can be found in their ability to embody Venus’ loving, healing, and balancing traits. These folks will likely have the ability to put others first for the sake of everyone’s comfort and well-being. They are great communicators and listeners, fairly weighing all sides of an argument and another’s point of view. Libras are likely to not hold grudges, as it can take a lot to rouse and sustain their anger. Being very Venusian, they typically assume the best intentions in others and give most people many chances to redeem themselves.In addition to these folks’ great relational strengths, there are also their keen aesthetic sensibilities to consider. Not only will this make sun sign Librans very creative, it will make them attuned to the subtleties of atmosphere and harmonious environments. They are naturally curious about how the aesthetics of our adornments and surroundings can set the tone for our well-being and social interactions. Keeping the peace and maintaining poise, grace, and charm are strengths that can be relied on from these natives. “ (source)

Mikey

Pisces (Feb.19 - Mar.20) (I HC his birthday in March)

“ Smart, creative, and deeply intuitive, Pisces can be close to psychic. Pisces feel things deeply, and have incredibly strong gut reactions. A Pisces "knows" things from deep within, and can often judge whether a person or situation is good or bad. That doesn't mean a Pisces ignores the logical part of their brain, though. Deeply intelligent, Pisces have a profound respect for the power of the human mind. Is it a surprise that Albert Einstein was a Pisces? Pisces may seem quiet but they are incredibly strong and have a very strong sense of right and wrong. Their moral compass, along with their gut, guides them well. When a Pisces speaks up, people listen. Pisces tend to take in everything around them, and they are great people to ask for advice on pretty much anything. While Pisces has strong convictions about the best way for them to live, they have a "live and let live" approach when it comes to others, and are accepting and nonjudgmental of all. “ (source)

“ As a mutable sign, Pisces holds adaptive, fluid, and shape-shifting qualities. Those with the sign of the Two Fishes prominent in their charts are sensitive seekers who have the potential to bring a soulful, healing energy to their relationships and communities. The primary Pisces’ strengths can be found in their tender, sympathetic, and receptive natures. Naturally compassionate and empathic, Pisces are wired to offer spiritual and artistic gifts to the world. These are the poets, musicians, painters, and intuitive counselors in our communities.With Jupiter’s influence on the faith, belief, and sense of higher purpose, Pisceans can be counted on to offer help and healing support to anyone who is in need. These natives tend to drift through life on their schedule and follow an inner sense that life is unfolding as it should.Idealistic and imaginative, those born under the Two Fishes’ sign have an otherworldly quality to them and seem to retain a sense of innocence and wonder their whole lives. These natives often believe in the good of others and will likely give the benefit of the doubt. “ (source)

[dappercritter]

You have been granted the oppurtunity to recast your favorite animated movie! The only catch is that each of the characters in said movie are animated characters from different shows/movies (X from show/movie is Bob, X from show/movie is Larry, ect.)

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boi. You have no idea what you’ve just unleashed, my friend!

Once long ago, before the Cringe Ages, I loved recasting my favourite and sometimes least favourite movies with characters from my favourite shows. But then I started taking storytelling more seriously and sentimentally and… art-y, and I started acting as if I was above the stuff somehow. To this day, I still don’t know whether to blame the masses or my own hubris.

But now! Now, the floodgates of my childish, innocent mind are open once more! And I have just the idea: The Nightmare Before Christmas but with Villainous and Batman* characters! (With a few CN villains on the side.) So, I guess you could call it…

The Villainous Nightmare Before Batman! 

(No, wait. Uhhhhh…)

The Dark Knight Before Villainous!

Ok, yeah, that should do.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “Dapper Critter, what are you doing this? Sure, Batman meets Villainous could work, but why are you bringing The Nightmare Before Christmas into this? It’s not even Halloween or Christmas! What are you thinking?!” Well, first of all, Christmas and Halloween aren’t just holidays, they’re states-of-mind. Second, I think it’s time you guys learned something important: I’m a big ol’ lowkey goth baby, baby! If it’s spooky or gothic, I’ll soak it up like a sponge in sink full of soapy water. And nothing says gothic like the hero of a city literally called “Gotham,” a show with a grotesque monster hiding behind the guise of a well-dressed man, and the classic story of Jack Skellington himself! What’s more, all three of these hold a special place in my heart, as they all played a huge part in helping me develop and realize my interest in gothic culture. Lastly, I can see the worlds of these three stories coming together quite easily. Behold, this plot pitch I just made!

“Another Halloween has come and gone in CN City, and another cheerful Christmas is on its way. Black Hat, unofficial master of all that is dark and evil, is thoroughly disgusted that the multiverse will soon be returning to it’s obnoxiously cheerful and wholesome state. He morosely tears a hole through time and space to talk a walk through reality, miserable that he’s stuck living in such a wonderful place. That is until he stumbles upon the city of Gotham, where no matter what time of year it is, the streets are filled with misery and malicious mayhem. Delighted, he sets out to celebrate Christmas his own way: by taking a certain caped-crusader out of the picture and making Gotham his very own holiday vacation home! Little does he know, there’s one special girl who thinks he can celebrate right where he is, as well as a certain clown who’s got his own sinister Christmas party in mind…”

So now that I’ve convinced you, I think it’s time we got down to the actual recasting! Let’s begin, my darling children of the Hot Topic night…

Black Hat as Jack Skellington: This couldn’t have been easier—they’re both creepy gentlemen with excellent taste in fashion. Yes, I know Black Hat is a lot less nice than our dear Pumpkin King, but let’s just say this story takes the odd liberty here and there. Not to mention, Black Hat could easily match Jack’s enthusiasm, intelligence, style, and obsessive inquisitions. Plus, he could totally pull off an evil Santa suit. (Though to be honest, I’m not sure if his snarling, slimy, cockney-accented voice could match Danny Elfman’s melodious singing.)

Demencia as Sally: A devoted, mildly ghoulish, and totally cute fangirl who’s always pining after their darling idol, and who may or may not have been made in a lab? It’s like this fancast is writing itself! Demencia might be a bit more proactive—and scary—in the plot, but I can see her a lot Sally’s dilemma in her as she tries to get Black Hat to notice her and not to abandon them in pursuit of a crazy dream. (Well, that I’m filthy Lizardhat trash.)

Dr. Flug as Dr. Finklestein: Flug, being the only mad scientist who’s employed by Black Hat, as well as the only to survive this, seems like a good pick. Sure, he’s not in a wheelchair and, no, he’s not as creepy as the bugger, but he could still work as our horrid hero’s right-hand man. Plus, since a big part of his canon character is putting up with Demencia’s BS (tell my family that means “baloney-sandwich”), he’d also do great as the one trying to keep the free-spirited love interest under control. Only here, it would be because he’s trying to keep Dem out of trouble so she doesn’t make his boss mad and try to kill him, as opposed to… whatever Finklestein’s problem is. And of course, he can still be menacing if need be. (Just watch the Lost Cases of Townsville and The Tree House…)

5.0.5. as Zero: A cute animal sidekick is a cute animal sidekick, I always say! And 5.0.5. was basically designed to be the ultimate cutesy animal sidekick. Therefore, he can be basically do anything Zero did. Try to cheer up Black Hat? Check. Pull Black Hate’s sleigh? Why couldn’t he? Yeah, he can’t be a flying ghost dog with a glowing nose, but I could just throw bedsheet on him (it was just after Halloween after all) and maybe say he swallowed that anti-gravity device.

Batman as Santa Claus: For Santa Clause, I needed someone who could be the absolute good guy in a world filled with bad guys and weirdos, much like Santa was in the movie. Likewise, since Jack kidnapped Santa to take over Christmas, Black Hat would need to kidnap the guy in charge of Gotham in order to take it for himself. So, of course he’s going to go after it’s #1 protector. I can also see Batman being the voice of reason in this madcap story. Not to mention that he could pull off a Santa suit even better than Black Hat! (In fact…)

The Joker as Oogie Boogie: This one I had some trouble with. I kept asking myself stuff like, “who would be brave enough to usurp Black Hat?,” “who could match Oogie’s siz—er, presence?” or “who would want to kidnap Santa Claus?,” and “Who would be into gambling and crazy funhouse stuff?” And then it came to me: The Joker. I mean, he’s got charisma, a sense of menace, he’s a cutthroat who loves to play with his enemies, and almost always has a big ol’ amusement park deathtrap on hand. Sure, he wouldn’t have the creepy demise like Oogie, but he could get a good beating and traumatizing from Black Hat and/or Demencia (who’d really hate being a damsel in distress, I imagine).

The Delightful Children from Down the Lane as Lock, Shock, and Barrel: At first, I thought of using other Batman villains or Shannon, Darrell, and Ernesto from OK K.O.!, but then I thought it would make more sense to have child villains from a CN show who could do bad things for slime-balls like Black Hat and Joker with pleasure. I instantly thought of these scheming, little monsters from Codename: Kids Next Door (an old favourite of mine). Although they’re usually talk and act in unison, they could have some comical bickering now and then. (After all, “Lenny is an idiot.”) Likewise, I can see Black Hat using Batman’s affinity for young people to get him while his guard’s down. They could make for great trick r’ treaters as well!

Lord Boxman as The Mayor: The mayor wasn’t a very important character, but he was definitely a memorable one, and the first character I thought of who could match his dual personality was Lord Boxman from OK K.O.! They both act like leaders but are really terrible at their jobs, suck up to better villains, and throw a whimpering tantrum like nobody else. (Also, I get to imagine Jim Cummings singing lines from The Nightmare Before Christmas songs, so that’s nice.)

Various CN Villains as The Citizens of Halloween Town: Like with The Mayor and the Trick R’ Treaters, I like to think that the various CN villains who cameoed in the Villainous Orientation series would show up as the denizens of the seedier side of CN City which—as you probably guessed—would be standing in for Halloween Town. Unfortunately, I do not have an encylcopediac knowledge of either Halloween Town residents, nor CN villains, so I’ll just list the ones I can remember and am the most proud of without offering any real justification.

Nohyas as Mr. Hyde: I couldn’t think of anyone besides Black Hat with a fancy hat or smaller versions of himself. Nohyas just so happens to have a suitable villain’s hat, and Handre (his hand puppet) could work in place of tiny clones living under his hats. (And yes, I like Mighty Magiswords. Deal with it.)

Zombozo as Clown with the Tear-Away Face: I don’t believe all creepy clowns look the same, but a ghoulish clown could easily stand in for another. Plus, I used to be a big Ben 10 fan, so I thought I ought to work something in.

Donny as Behemoth: This grass ogre from Adventure Time was more of an outright jerk than Behemoth, but he has a softer side so that would make him a great candidate for a resident gentle giant.

Loony Toons’ Dracula, Billy and Mandy’s Dracula, and Count Spankula as The Vampire Brothers: Do I really need to explain this one?

The Red Guy as Devil: I sure don’t need to elaborate on this one.

The Gangreen Gang as the Zombie Band: The Gangreens were basically based off edgy bands of the late 90’s, and thanks to Gorillaz, we know Ace can play the bass like a boss. Also, I can totally hear Ace saying, “Nice work, bone-daddy.”

Earl (AKA Dopey Black Hat) as Igor: Earl doesn’t get enough to do, inside or outside of Villainous canon.

The Beast as The Hanging Tree: Yeah, I know, I’m messed-up.

HIM as Harlequin Demon: Seriously, this one cast itself!

The Queen of the Black Puddle as Undersea Gal: I don’t watch Courage the Cowardly Dog much, but I remember seeing this villainess once before and I instantly thought she’d be a dead-ringer!

Morbidia and Gateaux as The Witches: Another natural casting derived from my soft spot for Mighty Magiswords. Although Gateaux is a male and a tall one at that, he’s perfect for being a huge suck-up. (I originally considered Miss Endive from Chowder and Duchess from Fosters’ Home for Imaginary Friends, but then I remembered that no matter what they dressed-up as, they’d be unlikeable.)

Monstrous Black Hat as The Monster Under the Bed: Like Earl and the other Black Hat clones, he doesn’t get enough love. (Though this may be a good thing, since he seems too nasty to receive or return it…)

Rob as The Melting Man: There aren’t a lot of CN villains who are melting, per se, but I figured this poor bad guy from Amazing World of Gumball and his unique media-mixed malformity could work.

Biowolf as The Wolfman: Because they’re both well designed wolfmen and I refuse to forget Generator Rex.

The Robins, Batgirl, and Alfred as the Elves: If Batman’s going to be Santa, then his support staff/family might as well be his helpers. Not to mention, they’d look great in cute little elf outfits happily working on Batman’s gadgets in preparation for the big Christmas crime wave.

The Justice League as The Army: Someone needs to show up to shoot-down Black Hat and his idea of Christmas at the end, and since he’s kidnapped Batman, I think it only makes sense that the Justice League would retaliate and come to clean up Black Hat’s mess. He’d also get a reminder that he isn’t just in Gotham City, he’s in the DC universe.

Unikitty as The Easter Bunny: I have my reasons. Them being, Unikitty is good at being sweet and innocent, the episode “Batkitty,” and her world is one of the few Black Hat has interacted with so far. I like to think that’s because he’s too repulsed by her cuteness to touch it. So imagine his reaction when the Delightful Children bring him to her by accident while she’s cosplaying as LEGO Batman or something.

And there you have it! I had a lot of fun making this recast. It was a great way to step out of my comfort zone and to have some fun. Not to mention, I had an excuse to listen to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack early. I sincerely hope you like it as much as I do, @good-guy-is-alive!

Now I just need to make sure Black Hat himself doesn’t see this, or else he might find me and—

Oh no.

No, please, Mister Black Hat, sir, you don’t understand. I just was doing this for fun. I wasn’t trying to make you look—

OH NO.

NO!

NOOOOOOOOOOjglkajgflkjdshGH;LJF’W abfklghlfuGFARGTADS!!!#%RQ#@!

…

…

…

*Since DC changes their Batman shows like people change their socks, we’ll just say that this is your standard DCAU/Bruce Timmverse Batman.

[spectrumscribe]

Invisible breaks, unspoken bruises.

@hotmilkytea​ for the idea, since i got it from your critical.

(this ended up being less comfort more hurt than I intended. whoops.)

Post Tokka vs the World: 

Seeing your friend nearly be vivisected leaves a mark, and nearly being vivisected definitely leaves a mark. Other things leave marks too, and Donnie is the only who seems to see that.

------------------------------

Donnie didn’t know why it was always him, but it was. Things like this always happened to him.

“Get out of my room,” Donnie said, glaring at both his brother and Casey, who were touching things that they shouldn’t and they knew it. “And hands off my encyclopaedias.”

Mikey and Casey both stopped touching the carefully organized volumes, which were arranged according to both date and language.

“What, no love for you bros?” Mikey asked in a sickly sweet voice, flopping onto Donnie’s bed. The bed that Donnie, for once, wanted to be in.

“No.” Donnie replied. “Get out.”

He was in no mood for this. He’d had a very long night of breaking into military buildings, avoiding being shot by said military, flying a type of space ship he was out of practice using, and almost being incinerated by a giant cosmic tortoise. He was very, very tired, and wanted to just shut down for a while, and not think about how he and his brothers likely destroyed whatever peace treaty the Utrom and the American Military had built. Or about how the world was probably still freaking out, seeing as there had been giant kaiju falling out of the sky, or about how his family had outed themselves to the military, who were only vaguely trustworthy at the best of times, and definitely trigger happy every other time, and how they’d very likely evoked their ire for the destruction they’d caused and painted bright, obvious targets right onto their own shells-

Donnie shut off that train of thought, and internally sighed.

Another night, another disaster. Another ordinary Friday outing, for them at least.

Donnie just really, really wanted to sleep. He’d deal with bumping up their defenses next evening.

Trouble was, he needed people out of his room first.

“We could have a movie marathon though,” Casey suggested, also flopping down beside Mikey. “You have, like-” He gestured at the collection of Planet Earth DVD’s Donnie had on his shelf. “-at least ten hours’ worth. Or something.”

“Eleven, actually,” Donnie corrected, mind automatically adding up the collective episodes’ time worth. He shook his head, and refocused. “But that doesn’t matter. You’re both getting out of my room, and I am going to sleep, for once, and neither of you are going to bother me while I do.”

“Aw, please, Dee?” Mikey asked.

“For real, the night’s still young!” Casey added.

“No, it is not,” Donnie said irritably, because he could see the early hour digits displayed on his alarm clock, and-

Wait, why were his brother and Casey so adamant on staying anyways? Or willing to put up with watching Planet Earth, instead of some blockbuster monster movie?

Donnie took a better look at his brother and his friend, looking past his first reactions of annoyance.

For starters, they both had significant bruising on various patches of skin. But that was normal, for their group at least. Everyone got bruises after a mission. Though, usually, Casey didn’t seem quite so wide eyed afterwards, and typically wore his bruises with pride. Now, though, he seemed to be hunching a bit on himself. Shoulders curled in a defensive set, a very out of character thing for his posture, post a successful mission.

And Mikey. Mikey had symmetrical bruising on either side of him. He’d brushed Donnie off earlier, much like Casey had, when they’d been doing physical checks on everyone. Called it no big deal. Though it didn’t seem like ‘no big deal’, seeing Mikey had a slightly- and pun not intended- shell-shocked quality to him. His knees were bouncing with energy he usually would have spent in battle, and he had a mildly desperate look to his expression, much as he was trying to hide with a charming smile.

Donnie closed his eyes, and pinched the space between his eyes. He sighed. “Okay. What is this really about? Neither of you like Planet Earth, or hanging around me when I watch it. Or like spending much time with me in general.”

“Does a guy need a reason to hang with one of his buds?” Casey asked, and now that Donnie was listening for it, he heard the false bravado in the human’s voice.

Donnie dropped his hand, and crossed his arms. He stared at them both, watching the cracks continue to appear in their expressions.

“Please?” Mikey asked, his forced cheer taking a further dive. “Can we stay just for a bit?”

A small part of Donnie, a very tired and rather sharp part of himself, wanted to say no. The rest of him however, was far too squishy and family oriented for him to even consider refusing. Not after that kind of emotional attack.

He looked at the two people sitting on his bed, and examined their bruises again. They hadn’t told him specifically what they were from, or how they’d gotten ones that matched. Casey’s might have been hidden now, but Donnie had seen them when he was changing out of his gear. Likely, the bruises they both had were what’d driven them to force their way into Donnie’s private space.

Donnie probably should have pushed harder for answers earlier. No time like the present to remedy that.

“Only if you explain why you want to stay so badly,” Donnie conceded, going over to his desk and pulling out his swivel chair to sit. Mikey and Casey exchanged glances, and Donnie watched them squirm. Interesting.

“Well, you see…” Mikey started, then trailing off as he glanced to the side and grimaced. “There was this thing, and then some guys, and…”

“Mike was gonna get vivisected,” Casey blurted, only for Mikey to elbow him and hiss for Casey to let him explain things.

Donnie’s eyes widened.

Well then. That explained some things.

“For real?” Donnie questioned. Because if that had been what really happened, and why they seemed so unsettled… Donnie could relate to those feelings.

Mikey shrugged, eyes aimed at his still bouncing knees. “Yeah. Sort of, I guess. They, uh, caught us like right away after you guys left, and then strapped us down and everything. Like right out of a movie, tables and lights and doctor guys- whole shebang.”

“They were gonna do it right beside me,” Casey said, looking a tinge queasy. “It was fucking sick, and not in a good way.”

Donnie took a moment to be very, very grateful that his brother was sitting across from him right then, and not in pieces in some government laboratory. Old nightmares of meeting a similar fate, and the memory of his unfortunate experience with a situation nearly the exact same, welled up in Donnie’s mind, and he understood. Understood why Mikey was so desperate to not be alone, and why Casey was hanging around long after he could have gone home to his human family.

Donnie, in the spare moments he did sleep these days, sometimes saw images that sounded like what Mikey had described. Reoccurring nightmares from childhood and onwards, surfacing again because of what Don Vizioso had attempted to do to him just a few weeks ago.

And to add to that experience, still having the crystal incident fresh in his mind, and his subconscious dreams, Donnie knew all too well that waking events could bring terrible images when one slept.

His brother and friend were watching him, waiting for Donnie’s response.

“I’m glad you’re both alright,” Donnie said truthfully. And he was, oh he very much was. He was also adding this to the pile of critiques he had for Leo’s ‘plans’ in battle. They’d nearly lost Mikey, and they hadn’t even known. “But why didn’t you tell us this earlier? That- that could have been really bad.”

‘Bad’ was a tame word. Disastrous, crushing, the tragedy that finally broke them all- take your pick. It could have been all those things.

They were both squirming again, in each their own manner. Casey’s fingers were tapping rapid pace on the comforter, and Mikey’s lip was being chewed into oblivion.

“We. Um.” Mikey, never short of words, seemed to struggle finding the right ones. “We thought they were gonna laugh at us for getting caught so easily.”

They.

Who were the ‘they’? Donnie didn’t even have to guess.

He repressed a sigh about their two other brothers, and pushed away the familiar pangs of frustration regarding them. It was really getting tiring, dealing with their condescending remarks towards Donnie and Mikey; mostly about their martial arts abilities. Casey was rarely a victim, but obviously, he was wary enough of mocking that he’d kept mum with Mikey.

Or maybe Mikey had asked him to keep things quiet, and he’d obliged. Donnie didn’t know which, and wasn’t planning on asking. That was between them. “And you came to me specifically, and told me about all this, because…?”

More squirming, and Mikey answered again after a beat of thought.

“I thought you’d be less…” He grimaced. “Mean? I guess?”

Casey mumbled an agreement, and Donnie felt very, very tired.

Why was nothing in their family straight forwards anymore? Mikey apparently couldn’t trust their older brothers not to mock him for almost dying, and Casey didn’t see Raph as a fit confident for nearly witnessing a friend’s slow death right before his eyes.

Donnie added another thing to his very, very long list of items to discuss with his brothers, one day. Also to the list of ‘things our father isn’t trusted with’, seeing as Mikey hadn’t even brought up the idea of talking to Splinter.

Donnie just wanted to sleep.

It didn’t look like he’d get to.

“How long, exactly, did you want to stay in my room?” Donnie asked wearily, feeling much older than he wanted to. From the awkward grimaces Casey and Mikey made, Donnie figured just a few hours wouldn’t be enough. He sighed. “Fine. All day it is. Someone go get the spare mattress, I’m not letting you two get my sheets dirty.”

He huffed at the thankful smile Mikey gave him, and at the half hidden gratitude on Casey’s face.

What a mess they all were, really.

A few minutes later, after rearranging his bedroom and letting Mikey haul out all their spare bed accessories, there was a twin sized mattress on the floor, decked with more pillows and blankets than they could ever use.

It made for a comfy pile, though. Supportive of both Casey’s back and Mikey’s shell alike. Donnie took the liberty of helping himself to the supply of soft items, and stacked up his own sleeping space. Once they were all arranged, Mikey closest to Donnie’s bed and Casey on the far side, Donnie turned on the old flat-screen TV he’d mounted to his wall a few years ago. At least in his room, he was able to afford luxuries that wouldn’t get broken by wayward destruction from his brothers.

He’d loaded Planet Earth’s first disc into the player, and turned the volume down as it started playing. Maybe it wasn’t the most interesting thing to his guests, but neither of them argued as the smooth British narrator started speaking.

Donnie’s earlier exhaustion remained, but now he couldn’t sleep. Not with images of Mikey being chopped into pieces flashing across his mind. And he hadn’t even known that nearly happened. Mikey could have been long past help, drained of blood and ready to be packaged up for further examinations, by the time Donnie knew. If not for Casey, and Bishop, as they’d told him, Donnie could have been short a brother tonight.

The thought terrified him much deeper than his own brush with vivisection had. Donnie wondered vaguely if Mondo had felt as strongly about the situation as he had. The gecko wasn’t nearly as old as the rest of them, in age and experience both, and that had likely been his first time experiencing danger of that type. And Donnie still hadn’t found time to call the Mutanimals for a check up on the younger mutant.

He added that to another one of his many lists. Something he needed to do, likely the moment he woke next evening. If he woke at all, seeing as sleep wasn’t going to come easy.

The fifth episode started to play on screen, and Donnie shifted his eyes to his brother and friend on the floor. Casey had wrapped himself around a number of pillows, bandana off for the day and hair tangled up as he’d buried himself into the pile. He’d texted his family before finally passing out, and didn’t seem like he was going anywhere for a good while.

Mikey on the other hand, had his brow furrowed, and was tensed up head to toe. No sound was escaping him, but Donnie saw the slightest twitch to his hands. Even in sleep, ninjutsu and survival training ran deep. Make no sounds, have your weapon at the ready. Always, no matter what.

Mikey’s hands spasmed, and he tightly gripped the blanket closest to him. From the way he was curled around his center, Donnie guessed what was haunting his dreams at the moment. It wasn’t hard, seeing as he’d had similar dreams many times before.

Donnie leaned over the edge of his mattress, and reached out to run a hand across Mikey’s skull. He minded the dark bruise on the back of Mikey’s cranium, and tried not to think of Mikey trashing in restraints, desperate to get away.

Or, think about the other bruise, right beside Mikey’s eye. That one wasn’t from the restraints. That had been from Raph, and inflicted right in front of Donnie. And he’d done nothing to stop it, as usual. And then he’d left Mikey right afterwards, both him and Casey abandoned to face a whole building’s worth of security all on their own.

And no one had even stopped to wonder about them again until after Tokka had left. Just a phone call after everything was said and done, from Donnie, because Leo and Raph hadn’t even made a move to check on their missing teammates. And Mikey had answered brightly and replied that they were fine, totally fine!

Donnie was sure Raph hadn’t apologized for hitting Mikey, and Leo hadn’t apologized for stationing them somewhere he should have known they’d get caught. And Donnie hadn’t pushed them to.

Donnie brushed the edge of Mikey’s black eye, and added another few regrets to his lists.

There were a lot of things Donnie should have done tonight. A lot of things he was putting on his lists to remind himself not to do them again.

Mikey’s hands spasmed again, a grimace crossing his expression and Donnie stopped touching the tender spot by his eye.

“Shhh, Mikey,” Donnie whispered, moving his hand up and rubbing a circle on Mikey’s temple. “You’re at home, you’re not there. Go back to sleep.”

It took another few minutes, during which Mikey’s eyes opened blearily and sightlessly, before closing again, and Donnie’s brother finally stopped tensing himself for a fight. His breathing evened out, and he stopped curling so tightly on himself.

Donnie lifted his hand away, and looked again at his brother. The bruises were starting to fade on the edges already, but it would be a while before the sickly discoloration disappeared completely. It would sit there, plain on Mikey’s exposed scales, and remind Donnie how very close he’d come to losing someone in his family. Again.

And, remind him of how there were cracks in their relationships. Cracks that had been widening with time and strain, that hadn’t been attended to at all. No apology for their creation, and no closure to the events that caused them.

A sudden noise caught Donnie attention, and he moved his eyes to the other person beside his brother. Casey made an angry, muffled sound in his sleep, and his legs thrashed for a brief moment. Then he settled again, turning deeper into the pillows he was clutching.

Donnie waited to see if Casey would do anything else, but a soft snore signified it wasn’t likely. With the two of his guests settled again, Donnie moved back onto his bed properly, and lay against the pillows he’d accumulated.

The sounds of British narration, and of distant wildlife ecosystems, filled the gaps left by Mikey and Casey’s gentle inhalations. Donnie tried to use the steady flow of both sounds to lull himself into sleep. Even though a weight had settled in his chest, and made the prospect of rest feel very unlikely.

He could think deeper on the horrors of tonight, of the last years, and of the future, come the next evening. He’d do his best to not think at all for a while, and sleep for however long he could. He’d sleep lightly though, listening for further distress from his guests.

He’d forgotten to watch out for them once already, failed to be there when they needed him, and he wouldn’t do that again.

Donnie closed his eyes, and did his best to sleep, even with his lingering thoughts weighing on his mind.