#suicide discussion

[its-sunny-somewhere-else]

Stay away from me I only have one eye left

[transmandrake]

It's really particularly ghoulish how much trans suicide / abuse rate studies gets tossed back and forth by the 'community'.

Super fucking cruel and dehumanising to reduce something so dire into evidence for or against 'which flavor of trans person is the most oppressed and needs to be listened to over the other'.

Kind of revealing ime that this isn't really about queer rights or mental health but just like. A fucking slap fight. That one side will 'win'. And I guess the other shuts up and dies quieter.

Damn really trans men are the most likely to be suicidal / commit suicide? Makes perfect sense to me I know how invisibility kills. I know without other queer people I would have no one I'd feel safe to talk to who I trust to not make it gendered or use my vulnerability to try and turn me away from manhood or force me to conform to it.

Damn really trans women are the most likely to be physically abused and murdered? Makes perfect sense. Transmisogyny is dire and allows systemic violence to occur without repercussion more frequently than other trans people or cis women.

If you use these studies as fucking tit-for-tat fight winning material, you are reducing the lives of other trans people to fucking numbers to prove your fucking point. Do you feel good? Do you win? Do we win. Have the numbers gone down. I don't fucking think they will.

[kushamisaru]

I hate the way mental health discussions have devolved on here. If this bullshit "suicide is a valid choice and you have to respect it uwu" rhetoric was the norm back when I was at my most vulnerable I don't think I would have seen my 20's, let alone my 30's.

[asleepymonster]

Heavy topic ahead, CW: suicide discussion

One thing I hate about our mental health institution is how impossible it is to talk about feelings involving suicide.

I contemplate suicide every now and then for various reasons. I don't think I'll act on it, it's more of an escape fantasy for me, something to look at and think "man that would take all my pain away."

The one and only time I confessed these feelings to a therapist several things happened that made everything so much worse for me.

1) During that session I couldn't get my thoughts and feelings out because I kept having to assure her I wouldn't do it.

2) They tried to send me, someone who has very very severe agoraphobia, to an institution. It went as far as actually getting me into the building.

3) Between confessing my feelings and being forced to visit the institution, I got so anxious and scared that I actually started making a plan to end my life before they could force me from my home. Luckily I didn't end up being forced to go because I'm relatively sure I would have carried it out. I cannot express to you guys how terrifying the thought of being forced from my home into a strange bed surrounded by strangers is for me.

4) Everyone, literally everyone, made it about them. I could not properly express exactly how I felt because how I felt didn't matter anymore.

I was put in a situation that made these feelings 10 times worse. I know I'm not alone in this happening. I have a friend who did get forced into an institution after confessing their suicidal thoughts, then was left with a huge dept and ptsd from the uncaring process. I had another friend who went through almost the exact same thing, except without the debt because she was on Medicaid. These aren't isolated incidents, it's how people trying to express themselves and get council for these feelings are treated.

Anyway I've also learned I hate therapy, it doesn't work for me, and no matter what they tell you, you cannot talk to them about everything.

[skinteresting-enough]

I think Nimona's depiction of suicidal ideation is something we need more of in kids' movies. Obviously not all or even most of them, but some. Because, let's be real, there are more suicidal kids than we want there to be.

If I may use myself as an example, my first suicide attempt was when I was 12, and I found myself wishing for child euthanasia to be legal at a younger (not much younger, but younger still) age than that. And I don't think I'm some freaky exception.

I do think kids should watch these movies with parents present, or at least be able to safely discuss them with parents later. I do think that watching a movie with a suicidal protagonist when you're suicidal yourself but unable to safely discuss it with anyone may be too much.

But we should not hide suicidal ideation from kids. Otherwise they will feel even worse if they develop those feelings themselves.

[random-basil-lover]

Ironically Omori made me less suicidal?? Is this reserve psychology???

Idk, I just saw them kill themselves in the bad endings, saw the "stabbing" option in my playthrough, saw Basil's corpse all still and depressing and I was like "nah, this shit ain't worth it". I may be someone's comfort character.

[briarpatch-kids]

Hey so since apparently there's a VERY different story being told,

Uhhhh

Finch tried to kill himself in front of me by lighting himself on fire with a blowtorch, nearly burning my home down in the process, then sent me a 5 message rant over how I didn't help him at all in the 7 months he lived rent free in my house, then called me 5 times in a row until my husband called the hospital to make him stop, then tried calling AGAIN with a psychiatrist in tow, basically kept it up until we had to threaten a no contact order through the courts on recommendation from MY therapist.

The reason we were arguing in the first place was actually that he tried to blame cancelling a date over his anxiety on having to take care of me. He was talking about it was so unfair that the other roommates have a regularly scheduled Sunday game that was one of TWO nights a week he had to be home. Because I'm disabled and can't be home alone. On top of that he had 5 hours from the date time start until he had to be home and had an open invitation to bring the date here and hang out after. Things escalated when I told him that was ableist and he knew it. He wasn't "just trying to stay home with briar" he was trying to blame cancelling his date on Briar's disability and literally tried to light himself on fire when he couldn't.

Sorry for the continued drama, I really fucking want to be done with this but someone let me know that he was saying that bullshit and

[catsingbad]

vent

What would happen if I just killed myself right now?

It's not like anyone would care about a pathetic crying piece of shit like me.

I'm not smart. I'm fucking stupid.

I'm not contributing anything to society or my family so what's the fucking point?

Maybe I won't, maybe I will.

I will try to live for another month and if I hate it, I will do it.

[bpdrecovery101]

"help im splitting" post

Hi.

I'm tired of being sick.

I'm also tired of trying to research and being told nothing or "maybe you need to let your relationships go" (that sounds like giving up, honestly).

As of tonight, this moment, 11PM PST on August 12, 2023, I have split badly. I have relapsed and distressed those who are important to me, causing me to be more distressed. I can't live a life like this.

Consider this (hopefully) like a bit of a BPD survival guide. Essentially, it's a bit of a diary, too. As I recover, you can recover too.

We can do this. Intro below the cut. (tw for suicide discussion, ideation, splitting)

hi.

this is me with my dog (and my blurry cat in the top left corner).

this picture was taken about a few hours before id split really badly and almost attempted. i have attempted in the past. i would also split later that night and proceed to do things that would distress people that i would regret.

this is also me that day

got a new dog. i love her! except bpd kinda made me forget that, and kinda made it irrelevant. i just thought, in those splitting moments, that everybody hates me and im better off dead.

these things weren't true, of course. i thought that sharing a bit of my story may help. im going through it with you. sometimes it's fine, a lot of the time it isn't.

im kinda tired though of living like this. i dont want to live wondering when my next fit will be. it's exhausting, and it exhausts those around me too

so the name of the game here is recovery. diary posts are tagged as #diary so you can block them if you want to. otherwise, im sharing my experience and what is helping me recover.

we got this. it's hard but we can do it.

[pollsnatural]

Spin the wheel to get a spnblr discourse topic.

[cameoappearance]

[ image description: Twitter screenshot from Satan @s8n (who may or may not be the Tumblr user by that name) that reads "Suicide is never the answer. You gotta outlive your enemies." Timestamp: 11:43 pm 9/1/19. There is a reply from "tay | 5" @tayisnotokay (also may or may not be the same user) 18 hours before the screenshot was taken that reads "this is strangely motivational". ]

[guardian-angle22]

911: Lone Star | Judd & TK Parallels

[3liza]

According to this study, women diagnosed with [anorexia nervosa] at the age of 15 years are likely to live 25 years less than predicted for the normal population; women diagnosed at the age of 20 are predicted to have 36.6 years of life remaining, versus 60.5 for the normal population; and for those in whom AN starts at the age of 25 the estimate of years of life remaining is 32.2, versus 55.5.

https://sci-hub.st/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378512213001254

[metanarrates]

ugh anthy is so good. nearly every single other story I've seen about a Mysterious and Tragic teenage girl has failed in some way either because the writer forgot to give the character complexity and an internal life, or because the tragic things in her life were far too aestheticized to have real teeth. anthy succeeds as a character largely because the whole story is dedicated to deconstructing an aestheticized view of her & her suffering, and also showing how that aestheticized view dehumanizes her and denies her agency. she is not a harmless victim or a beautifully agonized one - she is a teenage girl who is reacting in realistic, complex ways to a lifetime of crushing systemic abuses. and similarly, every teenage girl around her is also reacting in complex ways to their own suffering under patriarchy.

depiction of sad teenage girls often posit their pain as a natural phenomenon, something that is just intrinsic to girlhood. adding a layer of mystique onto them just further serves to obfuscate the sources of teen girl suffering. instead, teenage girl pain becomes palatable. consumable, even. #aesthetic. these depictions are unthreatening because, by their nature, they cannot depict societal issues in a way that would demand a restructuring of society. we can posit a familial tragedy but not a tragedy of the family structure. we can lament a beautifully mentally ill sufferer but not the systems of wellness and community that failed her. et cetera. nothing can ever hold up an uncomfortable mirror, only a flattering one.

revolutionary girl utena directly says that that idea is bullshit and that its teenage girls are suffering as a direct result of entrenched systematic oppression. and in that uncomfortable honesty, it's able to be WAY more authentically hopeful with its sad teenage girls. anthy is able to finally walk out of the society that trapped her and live freely of the image that was constructed around her! she can be a flawed human girl who is still going to be happy with her girlfriend! her victimhood is not eternal and does not mean she can never find happiness! A TEEN GIRL DOES NOT HAVE TO STAY IN A COFFIN IN ORDER TO DESERVE COMPASSION!!!!

[shouting-epicenities-at-you]

I'm very glad that suicidal ideation was addressed in this post. Often enough, even in circles consisting of antipsych/neurodiversity proponents, there is little discussion of it outside of "Just don't do it, ok?"

I think everyone needs to stop treating any non-condemning discussion of suicidal ideation as though the possibility that someone might want to kill themself is nothing more than a hyper-compelling infohazard pushing otherwise Smart, Healthy, Sane, etc. people to do the same.

As someone who's struggled with wanting to escape my life in such a way, the revelations that "cured" me had absolutely nothing to do with the platitudes people used to try and convince me not to do it. In fact, most people's arguments for me to not kill myself made me feel even more as though there was no other option. These people got the reasons why someone might have suicidal thoughts narrowed down to something so specifically inapplicable to my situation that I felt even more isolated than I probably would have if I never confided in them that I was having such thoughts.

the logic of pathologizing specific desires claims to stop moralization, but all it does is qualify them using absurdly circular logic.

"people who do drugs/kill themselves/hurt themselves have Done Something Wrong. but thinking that they are Bad People is cruel [true!], so they must have had a disease that made them do a Bad Thing even though they're Not Bad." or, more broadly "Healthy People want to do Good Things + Stay Healthy while Unhealthy People want to do Bad Things + Stay Sick. therefore, someone is who wants to do Bad Things is sick with a disorder that is tricking them into thinking they want to do Bad Things instead of the Good Things that their Real Self (which is being obscured by disease) wants."

do you see how this classifies anyone who desires something "unhealthy" as diseased + denies them full personhood until they embrace an identity composed of only "healthy" desires (with all "unhealthy" desires being an invasive Other)? why do we see this as this necessary? would someone become a Bad Person if the desire to do drugs or kill themselves was coming from Them + not a disease? why, if you genuinely believe that these things are not immoral? or do you believe they are ONLY morally acceptable because they come from a disease (so the person "can't help it")? if you feel like you need this model to understand your own experience, why? do you feel like it relieves a shame or guilt surrounding your experiences? why?

i need everyone to understand that, regardless of whatever personal attachment you feel to this model, the circular concept of "people who are too sick to know what's good for them (which is obvious because they are making choices which only sick ppl make)" is part of a logic that justifies all manner of degrading, violent + carceral responses to mad ppl/drug users/unhoused ppl. for every "recovered" person who embraces this model, there is a "disordered" person who resents it + that person will forever be denied the resources + social absolution "recovery" offers until they embrace it

[imposterogers]

batman canon: canonically cursed gotham, pseudoscience, creatures in the sewers, freeze guns, twenty rogues running rampant, the most absurd villains imaginable including kiteman condiment man & eggman, campy/eccentric outfits & personalities, superpowers used for evil

batman live action (excluding adam west, michael keaton, and gotham 2014): ok but what if we make gotham a normal ultra realistic city…………with normal levels of crime……………with one villain per year…………..how about that