#suisidal ideation

[asleepymonster]

Heavy topic ahead, CW: suicide discussion

One thing I hate about our mental health institution is how impossible it is to talk about feelings involving suicide.

I contemplate suicide every now and then for various reasons. I don't think I'll act on it, it's more of an escape fantasy for me, something to look at and think "man that would take all my pain away."

The one and only time I confessed these feelings to a therapist several things happened that made everything so much worse for me.

1) During that session I couldn't get my thoughts and feelings out because I kept having to assure her I wouldn't do it.

2) They tried to send me, someone who has very very severe agoraphobia, to an institution. It went as far as actually getting me into the building.

3) Between confessing my feelings and being forced to visit the institution, I got so anxious and scared that I actually started making a plan to end my life before they could force me from my home. Luckily I didn't end up being forced to go because I'm relatively sure I would have carried it out. I cannot express to you guys how terrifying the thought of being forced from my home into a strange bed surrounded by strangers is for me.

4) Everyone, literally everyone, made it about them. I could not properly express exactly how I felt because how I felt didn't matter anymore.

I was put in a situation that made these feelings 10 times worse. I know I'm not alone in this happening. I have a friend who did get forced into an institution after confessing their suicidal thoughts, then was left with a huge dept and ptsd from the uncaring process. I had another friend who went through almost the exact same thing, except without the debt because she was on Medicaid. These aren't isolated incidents, it's how people trying to express themselves and get council for these feelings are treated.

Anyway I've also learned I hate therapy, it doesn't work for me, and no matter what they tell you, you cannot talk to them about everything.

[seraphs-torture]

To Think It's Been A Year

A Year Since I 1st Entered My Ocd Spiral, Almost Cut Off My Friends, Abandoned A Shitton Of My Personal Goals, Contemplating Suicide, All That Lovely Stuff. The Past Few Months Had Been Mostly Fine, Improved On Myself A Lot, Fixed My Mistakes, Generally Making Myself Healthier And Happier. But Now My Compulsions Are Back And I Immidietly Fell Back Into A Spiral And Want To Kill Myself Again :)

Ruined All My Healthy Coping Mechanisms And Everything

[coyot3walk3r]

What do yall do on a shitty day?

[atmospheric-cat]

When I see an ambulance

Part of me wishes it was for me

I know it’s selfish

But part of me wishes

I am in the back

Fading from the world

Or maybe

Hanging on by a thread

[sapphicwitchbitch]

Me telling my best friend how much better I'm feeling compared to how shit I felt at my worst four years ago

My brain: LAUNCH THE INSECURITIES, IMPOSTER SYNDROME, AND BODY IMAGE ISSUES!

[local-lovecraftian-cryptid]

“You’re not gonna die so there’s nothing else we can do can do”

What the actual fuck

[im-so-fucking-tired]

Hi- uhh- so yaaa.

I'm not *too* horrible rn, but I dont feel great & want to talk to someone, but I'm kinda scared to text hotlines cause pretty much everything I see has ppl having the police called on them for wellness checks, and I'm not up for that for so many reasons & that'll make my shit worse- sooo I guess I'm looking for updated info on if that's true or not? Cause, granted, a lot of that is from 5+ year old comments on youtube.

Also, dose trevor project chat/texts show up for other ppl in any way? Like on life 360 or the owner of my phone services (family member paying for it)

Personal health disclaimer: I'm not actively about to kill myself, I just feel numb & or extremely irritated in general and I'm disosiating alot and I'm thinking about "it" passively a bit too much for comfort ✌️

[shketchark]

Writers/story makers, do u ever have the struggle of "I have this 1 story that is my child & I'll love it forever" (no matter how bad it may be in hindsight ngl u just like it), "but I want to work on smth else." The "but my brain baby is so good I can't think of anything else but I need smth less serious & more light cause brain baby has death & depression at every turn in it, I just want smth light to make up thats all cutsey"

*finnaly has cutsey idea*

"Fuck I made it edgy again- HALP ME"

I think I have a story idea that's harder to have darker themes now but I have no promises ;>

[klngmslf]

All two of my friends ghosted me might just off myself when I get home 💀

[sofiadragon]

Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lily Evans/Severus Snape Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore Additional Tags: Marauders' Era, Alternate Universe, Time Travel Words: 59,308 Summary:

When he looked back on it in later years, Severus realized how much worse his life could have gone. Those few short months in Sixth Year were of much greater importance than he could have ever known at the time. Then again, it was hard to have perspective on something like that at 16, when his daily existence consisted of constantly dodging hexes and being ignored by Lily Evans. The Professor had known, though. That's why he'd come.

Fanfiction recommendation coming at you! Mind my tags for trigger warnings, this one gets a bit dark.

A time travel fix-it that is not from the POV of the time traveler? What is this fantastic idea not enough fanfic authors have tried to write? Yes, let us have a story where Severus Snape is a curious sneaky little shit poking around the very strange new DADA professor, who is a time traveller here to fix the war against Voldemort. He doesn’t know what is going on, but having read the original books we all know and it feels great to figure out the puzzle.

Alright real talk, is this fic marked complete? No. Is it a finished story? I’d argue that yes, it is. 

We have a complete arc here. It doesn’t end with Voldemort dead, it ends with Snape healing. It stops at a satisfying place, and while the author clearly planned for there to be more we don’t necessarily need another 150k words or whatever it would take to get to that end goal. So many HP fanfic authors have felt like they have to kill Voldie at the end, but plenty of stories are over long before then. There is no reveal for who the time traveler is except the reader putting it together on their own - and that’s just fine. We all know who this is after a while because of the subtle hints. This is a grown-up story that doesn’t hold your hand. I’ve read this one before of FFN and it does have an extra interlude chapter there, but I don’t think the short bit of James Potter’s POV is really necessary. You can see exactly how this story is going to unfold in broad strokes from the end of it and it is perfection. We get to see hints of what the adults are doing against Voldie and it is top tier “get your ass in gear and kill him already” style time travel.

[dumbsuicidalteen]

one of the worst parts of self harm and suicidal ideation is when you’re sitting next to someone you love so much and all you can think about is how badly you want things to end

[grimozorg]

im so tired, i don't have any motivation for anything, i feel hopeless

i think i might do it soon, i will wait for after christmas, i don't wanna ruin everything for my family, but after that im gonna jump into the ocean and just let the waves take me

[nosylla1011]

...

[anxietysroomsupport]

(Tw) I’m kinda struggling with what I think is called like suiside ideation? I don’t think I’ll do anything but I’m afraid it’s going to get worse. I want to try to get help but I’m a stereotypical emo, like I wear black, I listen to mcr, fob, etc. I’m afraid to talk to anyone irl bc They’re probably gonna make fun of me for it bc “oh haha what a surprise u emo” or they’ll just dismiss it as me trying to “act the part” any advice other then completely changing who I am so I’m taken seriously?

Hi anon. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I want to encourage you to be really honest about what’s happening. If anyone tries to make fun of you, tell them something like “I know this may seem stereotypical to you, but this is a real problem and I need you to take it seriously.” You deserve to be taken seriously, and people who refuse to do so are being incredibly rude. I also want to encourage you to talk to a mental health professional if possible. I hope this helps and you feel better soon! -Kai

[anamia-marie-blog]

Me when hinting that the phsychosis and suisidal ideation is back doesnt work

my chemically inbalanced, stressed-out brain begging me for some professional help:

[stellartusks]

Im depressed cus i dont want to want to kill myself, you have suisidal ideation you fucking idiot!!!! Get the hell over it i hate you!!!