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klausysworld · 1 year ago

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Heyy I love your work I was wondering if you could do a klaus one we’re the reader is a bit chubby and all of a sudden she started wearing long sleeve and oversized stuff and nobody rlly noticed until they had a party or smth and she wears a dress and when they see here there all rlly shocked cause they didn’t notice how she a lot or weight in like a span of 2-4 weeks and she hasn’t eaten for like 2 days before the party

This one-shot will contain triggering content around eating disorders including both anorexia and bulimia. Please don’t read this is you feel it may upset you or harm you mental health. I’ve had personal issues around this area and know it can be hard. Don’t hesitate to reach out 🤍

Too much or Not enough?

Y/n had struggled with weight as a child, and as a teenager. As a result she had a difficult relationship with food and clothes.

She was naturally a little curvier, but what some people saw as gorgeous another saw as an opportunity to poke fun. And so she grew up hating herself and those around her who would highlight her insecurities.

As she grew out of adolescence and into adulthood she lost a little weight. She went to the gym excessively and ate barely anything. It was unhealthy but in her eyes it was her best option.

She still had her curves but they were complimented more than they were judged but even when people said ‘good’ things about her body, she just saw it at mocking. She would have kept losing the weight but she ended up passing out at the gym and having the paramedics called. They told her she needed to keep a balanced diet and take care of herself and as much as she didn’t want to, the fear of being that embarrassed again haunted her.

So she ate some what regularly for a while but ended up with two fingers down her throat to get it all back out.

She would have carried on that way if it weren’t for the Mikaelsons.

She had ended up being wrapped into the supernatural world and suddenly there were so many other problems in her life that food was almost forgotten.

Between a temperamental pregnant Hayley, overly dramatic Rebekah, pissed off Elijah, furious Marcel, war raging Klaus, power-hungry witches, territorial werewolves and bloodthirsty vampires, Y/n didn’t have much time to focus on herself. Especially not after Hope was born.

The stress seemed to make her hungrier, she would go days without any food and then eating as much as she could to ‘keep herself going’.

She didn’t really realise she had put her weight back on, she assumed running around after everyone would have been enough exercise.

And when Klaus had shown interest in her, when he had kissed her and laid her heart out on his sleeve well she assumed she must have looked good. Someone like him wouldn’t go for who she used to be, right?

And so she gained a small amount of confidence until the supernatural communities began to calm down and it seemed people were more attentive.

Y/n was able to go out more, whether it was with Hayley, Rebekah, Davina or just by herself. And that’s how it circled back.

One or two comments on her figure from men made her wear baggier clothes. An awkward moment with Hayley and Rebekah when the girls went shopping and Rebekah unintentionally made a quip on y/n’s size. Apparently a dress that looked good on Hayley wouldn’t be nice on ‘someone like Y/n’. She had brushed it off and told Rebekah it was fine when the blonde began apologising but inside it was anything but fine.

Even if she hadn’t had any malicious intent or meant it in any offence, it tore up old wounds and brought back something much deeper rooted.

And then when things started to kick off again and Klaus payed y/n less and less attention or affection, she assumed it was because she was no longer attractive to him. Had she gained that much?

So she did what she knew would work.

She forced herself to the gym as often as she could for as long as she could. Drank as much water that was available to her and ate the bare minimum to keep her conscious. Throw up anyway meal that she did happen to consume and have a packet of gum handy incase she got too hungry.

It was even easier to do once Hope was around more, Y/n was often asked to look after the baby while the rest of them took on the new foes and unexpected family members.

When Klaus, Elijah and Marcel had announced there would be a party to celebrate the defeat of a common enemy, Y/n began to worry. The last time she had to dress of for one of those things she was much bigger than she had thought. Looking back on pictures of that evening persuaded her to gag and cough up to the point where she was only throwing up water and blood form how she had torn her throat inside.

Even Hope could sense the change in Y/n’s behaviour when she looked after her. But nobody else did, everyone was too busy to realise.

Klaus had barely looked at her let alone touched her to realise that she had done down 2 clothing sizes and yet was wearing t-shirts triple the size they would need to be. None of the girls payed enough attention to see the bags under Y/n’s eyes or to notice her absence each morning when she would struggle on a treadmill for hours on end. Only Hope, someone who wasn’t even a year old, would give Y/n the hug she so desperately needed.

———————————————————————

It was the day do the party, Y/n stared aimlessly at the dress she had chosen the week before. If she were honest she planned on not going at all, nobody would notice anyway. But then Rebekah came in all bubbly demanding that she know what colours people were wearing she they didn’t clash in photos.

Photos.

Y/n learned to despise them. “The camera adds 10 pounds” she was told by her mother when she was young and it was something she reminded herself every time a flash went off.

So she needed to make sure she looked okay.

She scrubbed her skin raw in the shower, shaved every last hair from her legs before moisturising them and the rest of her body. She avoided any full body length mirrors and focused on her face, covering every flaw possible. Her hair was pulled to be half up half down, leaving pieces to frame her face and still give her enough volume.

She managed to get the dress on that was now a little loose on her, which she should have been worried about but she couldn’t help but feel relieved. The zip went up effortlessly but even so, she didn’t want to step outside of that door. So she stayed on the edge of her bed, her nails licking at the material of her dress as she hoped the night would pass by without her.

She had no such luck when Hayley came knocking on the door

“Y/n? Are you okay? The party started a while ago” she called through the wall and Y/n pinched her own skin desperately

“I don’t think I’m gonna come down…I’ll just keep an eye on Hope” she replied

“Hope’s dressed up and downstairs with Klaus at the moment, you don’t need to watch her, come have fun!” She told her brightly and Y/n could feel herself getting hotter as the nerves poured in

“Parties aren’t really my scene” she responded softly “maybe next time okay?” She tried again but Hayley was getting persistent

“Oh come on, there’s music, drinks, food. Have you eaten yet? Come on we’ll go get something” she encouraged but that only made it worse. Y/n had made sure not to eat anything the last 2 days so that there was zero chance of any bloating and she wasn’t about to ruin that.

“I ate earlier” she lied and Hayley sighed

“Try make an appearance? If not for me then for Rebekah or Klaus” she asked and Y/n could have scoffed. As if either of them had cared less that she was there.

Well so she assumed.

Unfortunately for her she was proven wrong again when the door hand was twisted and pulled, a frustrated groan coming from the other side of the door when they realised it was locked

“Y/n?” Klaus questioned “come out” he ordered and she had the sudden urged to suffocate herself with a pillow.

“I’m going to sleep” she mumbled, though she was still dolled up and sat against the headboard but it wasn’t like he could see her.

“We can fix that, open the door and I’ll grab you a dress” he told her and she pinched the bridge of her nose

“I already have a dress” she muttered in defeat, Klaus wouldn’t walk away as easily as Hayley.

“Perfect. Put it on.” He grumbled “Rebekah needs you in the photo” he added and she nodded, of course they needed to keep their image up.

“I don’t want to be in the photo anyway” she murmured and he groaned

“Just do it” he complained and she reluctantly stood up.

She plodded her way to look in the mirror and yet despite the makeup on her face, she just looked tired. It didn’t matter anymore though, she looked bad in pictures either way, may as-well know it this time.

Just as Klaus was reader to break the handle off the door, it was clicked open and Y/n was looking up at him through glassy eyes.

Klaus’s expression dropped almost instantly when he looked at her. The dress was loose around her body in all areas, her arms thinner than usual making him frown and reach a hand out to grab ahold of her wrist. His eyes locked on hers and his lips parted in shock.

She assumed he was thinking she looked awful, was the dress too small again? Was she too big? She could feel her face heating and her eyes filling with tears. Her breathing grew more laboured and her hands began to ping at the fabric around her to make it seem baggier.

Klaus quickly pulled her into his room so nobody could look up the stairs and see them. He stroked her hair gently as he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to stop any tears from falling.

“Sweetheart” he whispered quietly, guilt beginning to rise in him. People didn’t loose this much weight this fast. He knew he had been distant the last month but that was to keep her safe not to make her sick, was she I’ll and not told anybody? Or was this something much more?

He feared for the last one as he rubbed her back soothingly while small sniffs lift her and panicked apologies flooded form her lips.

“Why are you sorry my love?” He murmured gently.

“I just wanted to be pretty” she uttered and his heart ached for her. “I tried really hard” she whispered “it wasn’t enough”

“Y/n…” he murmured as his arms held her a little tighter “you’re always pretty, you’re beautiful and bright” he told her “don’t change anything about yourself for anyone else ever”

“I did it for me too” she mumbled and he nodded hesitantly

“Yeah but…this isn’t the way” he whispered and she sniffed

“It’s the only way that works” she argued

“Love, what have you been eating?” He asks and she frowns

“Why does that matter?”

“Because there’s a difference between eating healthily and not eating enough” he told her and she began to grow more upset at his tone

“I eat too much” she utters and he sighs, he placed both hands on her shoulders and looks down at her

“Nobody thinks that” he whispered, his eyes locked on hers as though it would make her listen better. “Not eating at all is as bad as eating too much, we can find a good balance” he persuaded

“I’ve tried balanced diets, it doesn’t work” she shakes her head frustrated

“I’ll find you a better one” he decided and she lets out a laugh

“Why because I suddenly matter enough? If you only just realised that I’ve lost the weight when we live in the same home then Im clearly not worth-“

“Stop” he whispered, a crack in his tone “do not do this to me and do not do this to yourself” he let out a breath “I wouldn’t ever want this to happen to you, I care about you. I was just leaving you out of all the darkness and the pain, you weren’t supposed to bring it to yourself” he snapped. His eyes were hard though he didn’t mean to appear so angry as tears freely flowed down Y/n’s face and a sob let her lips.

At the sound of her cries, Klaus’s bedroom door was opened rather suddenly. A concerned Elijah stepped inside, his eyes falling to Y/n and his brows furrowing as he noticed his brother trying to apologise. Then he noticed the differences from the last few times he had seen her and he picked up on what was happening pretty quickly.

He closed the door behind him and came forward, coaxing Y/n out of Klaus’s arms and into his own.

“Would you like a smoothie my dear? We’ve stocked the kitchen with fruits recently” Elijah murmured softly, his chin on top her head as he glanced to an upset Niklaus. Y/n frowned in confusion at the offer and at the calming affect Elijah seemed to have over everyone. He wasn’t really the hugging type but it was nice to experience one. She didn’t reply but he kept talking “how about I go and get you a smoothie while Niklaus helps you out of this dress? I’m sure you can wear one of his shirts for bed hm?” He lifted her chin up to look down at her. She blinked at him unsure as he tried to convince her further “I’ll bring Hope up as well?” He offered and she nodded slowly.

Elijah gave a look to Klaus and both brothers began to move. Elijah rushed off downstairs and Klaus grabbed one of his henleys. Y/n kept her eyes on the ground as Klaus’s fingers gently undid the dress

“I’m sorry my love” he whispered as he let the material drop down to the floor making goosebumps arise across her skin. His lips pressed to her shoulder softly before the warmth of his top was pulled over her head and her arms were pulled into the sleeves. His arms slid round her waist gently and his nose buried into her hair.

She kept quiet, eyes down as he unclipped her curls and let it all fall loosely around her face. Soft kisses planted their way up her face as Elijah returned with a smoothie and a straw.

Both brothers guided her to sit up on Klaus’s bed before sitting either side of her. Gently she was pulled into Klaus’s lap and the straw was brought to her lips

“The cup is only half full, the rest of it is in the fridge for tomorrow if you should want more” Elijah tells her with a reassuring smile

Klaus brushed his hands along her sides gently as she reluctantly drank what she was given. Both brothers continued to speak of random topics to keep the attention off of her as she took small sips as slowly leant back against Klaus’s chest.

15 minutes later Hayley came by and dropped Hope off, both she and Elijah left, leaving Klaus, Y/n and Hope to snuggle up together with the silent promise that at least Klaus and Elijah and most likely the rest of the Mikaelsons would be helping Y/n find a happier,healthier state of mind and body.

(I hope this was what was wanted, I didn’t go too deep into the topic and still wanted it to have a relatively happier/promising ending. If a darker message or ending was wanted then I would be okay with trying to write something similar for anyone out there. I understand the struggles with eating disorders and also with self harm and just mental health in general so feel free to message or request, anything at all :))

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orangeteawithstevia · 1 year ago

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I found it through edtumblr, but I just got to also share this workout. My legs were never thin before, but after using this workout (not super consistently though), I’ve gone down at least 1 size (it might be 2, but there was a period where I refused to size up even though I needed to lmao)

Also want to mention, I’ve got a thigh gap now, after using this workout

youtube

#anamia #notprojustusingthetags #ed not sheeren #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #disordered eating cw #proana #promia #bulimia #anorexia #Youtube

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autisticnotartistic · 1 month ago

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TW: EATING DISORDER CONTENT

When I saw the first season of Heartstopper, I had not yet read the comics. I had no knowledge of Alice’s work, and was unaware of any of the major themes within the show beyond queerness. I remember stumbling across the early hints of Charlie’s disordered eating and feeling crazy.

I thought for sure that I was reading too far into this scene, and that I was projecting my own past struggles with anorexia onto him. After finishing the season (in one sitting, of course), I flew to Google and found the comics online, and read them all that night (which I have learned is common within the fandom).

Within the comics, I learned that Charlie’s eating disorder was canon, and I sobbed. I cried both for the pain I had endured and from relief that I was not crazy. I wasn’t projecting my feelings onto him. I wasn’t making a big deal out of nothing. I was just seeing myself (and my struggles with mental illness) represented on television in a sensitive and compassionate way for the first time.

I remember hearing the lyrics to the song that played with this scene (“I didn’t know any other way”) and knowing exactly how he felt: that skipping meals and restricting was the only way he could cope with the situation he was in. It was the only way for him to feel a sense of control and power.

That realization awoke something in me: forgiveness and empathy for my teenage self. I had spent so many years blaming myself for my eating disorder, and hating myself for the medical complications it likely brought on, as if I had chosen to be sick… but that’s the trick of anorexia nervosa. It feeds into your need for control and slowly overtakes you. Charlie didn’t choose this. I didn’t choose this. No one chooses to have a mental illness.

Self-compassion and forgiveness is so difficult as an adult, because we look back at our teenage selves as if we were adults and judge ourselves by the same standards that we would now (which are often still far too harsh).

I was a child. You were a child. We were children, and we did not choose our suffering. I would never blame a child for relying on harmful coping strategies to survive, so why am I blaming myself now? I’m done blaming myself for how I survived horrendous circumstances that were out of my control.

TL/DR: Charlie’s eating disorder being canon taught me empathy for myself, and this is a beautiful scene with a perfect song choice.

youtube

#eating disoder trigger warning #eating disorder awareness #anorexia nervosa awareness #charlie spring #nick nelson #heartstopper #osemanverse #alice oseman #heartstopper netflix #nick and charlie #heartstopper tv #heartstopper season 3 #Heartstopper season 1 #Youtube

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disastercomingfaster · 1 year ago

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Found this in Evanna Lynch’s memoir (which is amazing by the way)

#Evanna lynch #book #Luna lovegood #Harry Potter #books #memoir #Snapchat #tw eating disorder #tw anorexia #trigger warning eating disorder #trigger warning anorexia

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arrowheadedbitch · 1 year ago

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Damian: Wow, Drake, you are really going to eat that? I had expected better from you.

Tim: You can't say that to me.

Damian: Pray tell, why not?

Tim: Because my mom drilled very unhealthy eating habits into my head growing up, and if you're the one who triggers the eating disorder, I will never forgive you.

Damian:

Damian: I am having conflicting feelings about this.

#all Damian wants to do is piss off tim but he's not sure if giving his anorexia is worth it or not #eating disoder trigger warning #ana trigger #tw disordered eating #tim drake #red robin #robin #rr #batfam #damian wayne #damian wayne and tim drake

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thinsideouts · 2 months ago

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Pro-Ana Discord Server

Hey, so I made a PRO-Ana server on discord welcome to all eds.

We have:

weekly challenges

meal plans

slumber parties/game nights

and much more

Currently looking for mods, so if you’re interested feel free to apply too! Join with the link below 👇

Invite Link: https://discord.gg/ktHmCb4MwF

#ana discord #pro ana #ana y mia #ana miaa #ed but not ed sheeran #ed #tw ed ana #anorexia #eating disoder trigger warning #discord server #discord ed

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whispytears · 1 year ago

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Upgrading time!

(The GIF has no relevance, I thought it was cute).

Hey everyone! I have decided to make some changes to this account in order to bring in more traffic and more people into a non-toxic eating disorder community. I have been so happy with the interaction from the ed community. It is such an invisible disorder until it is not so I truly appreciate all of the invisible warriors (sorry if that sounds corny but it's true!) who support my content in any way. <3

Some changes I would like to emphasize:

There is now an anonymous "ask me" section. Feel free to ask about any recovery advice OR share some personal stories about a topic in the eating disorder community!

I will change the weekly polls to bi-weekly. The weeks in between will be a dedicated space for my followers/invisible warriors to share or ask questions about the ed-community.

Those are all of the changes for now. To keep full transparency I will blaze this post but it will be the last blazed post in a while. I want to reach out to as many people in the community who want to be a part of the good energy and vibes I intend to create on this blog.

~whispy

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deadrayg2mf · 7 months ago

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Wed to the Lich (Arranged Monster Mates #8) by Layla Fae

Okay, I went into this knowing this was not the first book in the series but it didn't seem that the series may be required to be read in order as it is a collab series between Layla Fae, Eden Ember, and Cara Wylde and it wasn't recommended to be read in order - however, now having finished this I realize I may need to start from book 1 to assuage some issues I had regarding world building info. Also... that lich is just so hot... I needed to know more about him when he was what drew me to this. Which brings me to the covers!! The entire series has amazing cover art, it ranks right up there with SJ Sander's cover art that I love.

This is currently a series of 16 novellas between the above-mentioned authors, Wed to the Lich being dead in the middle at #8. It was a total of 208 pages and I read it within a quick day at work. It was a simple story which does involve triggers involving anorexia nervosa, past abuse, and animal death.

Basically, this is a world in which an event called The Shift has occurred, and from what was explained in this book alone it sounds like that was basically the... dimensional overlap of the human world and monster world where parts of the monster world ended up being transplanted into the world we know? Hopefully that is some semblance of correct as it's how I understood it. In this world, monsters rule over humans in most areas and if a human is wanting to get some cash for their family or, if you're our FL May, trying to get out of a bad situation you can sign up at the Temple and get married off to a monster.

This is exactly what May commits to as she decides to escape the abusive orphanage director who haunts her thoughts when it comes to beauty and its relation to her size and food consumption. How well this goes about depicting the troubles that come with experiencing an eating disorder I could not say, so I will leave that up to your interpretation if you choose to read. May gets married to Virgil, the all fearing Lich who can suck out your life force with just a look.

The following story revolves around May's struggle with food, her inner demons, and being beautiful for Virgil who is also struggling with how May views him and fearing that one day she may come to fear him and try to leave. In the end, they end up working out their troubles with each other's help and are a lovely couple, no matter what those town villagers think. I liked both May and Virgil's characters, he was really checking the marks for me as both loving and caring but strict and forceful when he felt necessary. By the end, May had come into who she was as a person when she wasn't tormented by her past.

My main issue comes from how I felt finishing the book. I had read 208 pages of what essentially felt like it had amounted to nothing. Unfortunately, for all that happened, there wasn't enough deep diving into characters, relationships, or true plot that it felt worthwhile. It was one of those where I was shocked it was so long for how much I got from it. I think it's a really cool story, I love a Lich, and I love a FL battling her inner demons and unafraid to seek help from another in order to do so. The way May was willing to just be blunt about what was going on versus other characters who might hide things that lead to a (beloved but sometimes overdone) miscommunication was rather refreshing.

I think I would have really enjoyed this story had it been more fleshed out. The writing was good, but the content felt unsubstantial. For all of that, I'll give it a 5/10. Mid but enjoyable and full of potential.

Would I read again? No, but not because it was bad. Just because there wouldn't feel like a point.

Would I recommend? Yeah, I am gonna go and try out the series from the first book - Wed to the Ice Giant also by Layla Fae - and then pry check out at least on book by each of the other authors. If I don't like it - you'll hear about it :)

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superkitten-poison · 1 month ago

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velvette's skin is mostly plastic and doesn't grow body hair or produce odor, but the stretch marks and age lines she had when she was alive still crease the uncanny material of her body and do so again and again everytime she tries to replace a body part with one that's shiny and smooth, like as soon as Hell knows it's *her* body, her life's marks are imbued in it. even as a doll she still gains weight, her artificial skin and vinyl fat change and expand regardless of logic. she uses to her advantage that she can dismember herself at will to always have a standard, needle-thin torso to change into as soon as she notices any changes. she also replaces and redesigns body parts based on whatever's trendy, big butts or flat chests or foxy eyes or thin lips, everything is customizable. she's always fashionable. the diet her models are in is called "indefinite fasting". theyre already dead, why do they need to eat?

#body horror beauty queen #uh so many trigger warnings i think. so many of them #ed tw #fatphobia tw #anorexia tw #body horror tw #shes crazy #hazbin hotel #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel velvette #vettie #plastic surgery tw #tw ed #tw fatphobia #tw anorexia #well i hope thats enough

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pinkumiilku · 1 year ago

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Sanji’s Eating Disorder Analysis (Long Post).

I’ve tried posting about this before, but it felt a bit rushed and not nearly detailed enough, so I’m trying again, wording it differently this time.

Trigger Warning here for anyone not comfortable with discussions involving eating disorders.

Sanji is an incredibly well written character, and this we know. You can find multiple character analysis posts I’ve written about him before, ranging from his demeanor as an adult, to childhood trauma, to even very present buddhist metaphors.

One of the reasons I’m desperate to figure out just how much effort and time Oda put into this character, is because Sanji very clearly represents a specific set of people (or children) who have suffered at the hands of abuse. Thus, creating a self sacrificial and self deprecating personality, while still trying to be kind and compassionate. Sadly, this compassion is directed towards anyone but himself. Obviously there is so much more to say, but that’s the core gist of things when it comes to the StrawHats’ chef.

Specifically when it comes to food however, Oda surprised us yet again, with what I believe to be a very clear depiction of eating disorders, or rather, the mindset behind one. I’m confident writing about this since I’ve been battling against one myself, and Oda seems to have somewhat confirmed his character’s dissent into an eating disorder in an alternate, negative, timeline. Although I would think his to be focused on food restriction, Oda depicted Sanji as having a binging pattern instead. This changes things slightly, but I believe the core message remains the same.

Now, in order to understand Sanji’s actions, we first need to understand the core basics of what could cause an ED in the first place. It’s very common for patients to suffer from forms of depression and post traumatic stress disorder, leading to a gradual loss of motivation and will to even perform basic tasks such as survival. What ends up happening in most cases, is that an ED pattern will create itself, gradually becoming more drastic, until the patient develops an addiction, satisfies a deep seated need for control, and is oftentimes begging for help. Again, these are just core basics to start and dissect Sanji’s story, behaviors and personality bit by bit.

This leads me to analyze Sanji’s adult design first. While Oda’s art style has changed many times, and characters look nothing like their original selves, we had a very clear Lupin lookalike, with a stick thin figure, making hands and feet seem somewhat disproportionate. This silhouette alone was enough to tell us something important. This was a character that, compared to others, was clearly at some sort of disadvantage. Especially working as a chef, in a restaurant where all other staff members seem to be at a healthy weight, Sanji sticks out like a sore thumb. Even amongst his own crew, he (used to be) the most frail looking male character. This may just be how Oda happened to design him, but considering how meticulous he used to be over details on his characters, I believe this to have been intentional. If character design in general is meant to tell us a story, Sanji’s was immediately not one of physical strength.

And, indeed, it doesn’t take long for One Piece to confirm Sanji’s past being one of misfortune, starvation, and illness. The fact that starvation will be a reoccurring theme in Sanji’s story alone was enough to convince me of a potential underlining ED discussion. As a child, after being saved by the only kind man in his life, they will both be stranded on a rock in the middle of the ocean, with no food for 85 days (about 3 months). At this point, Sanji will reminisce on how he’d disregarded food’s importance in the past, bursting into tears. Similarly, when it comes to behaviors driven by an ED, there is a constant level of shame patients go through, over, again, “disregarding” nutrition, without realizing they are being driven by their illness. This would lead Sanji to feed any starving person he’d ever come across, no matter their actions, history or background. However, along with that, come some “odd” behaviors on his behalf involving food. Starting from an extremely early addiction to nicotine to “scuttle the sense of taste” (very specific wording there, Oda), leading us to notice how in One Piece, at least pre time skip, scenes of common living on the ship were very common and endearing. Amongst these scenes would be plenty of meals, and within said meals, plenty of panels of characters eating. However, finding specific instances of Sanji eating becomes significantly more challenging. While they are there (I’m referring to the manga), they are almost always exclusively related to some sort of plot device. Essentially, Sanji is never (or rarely) shown eating for the sake of eating. This was in my opinion absolutely not accidental on Oda’s behalf.

Sanji finds comfort in his duty as primary caregiver of the ship, at least when it comes to nutrition. This allows him time alone (as he was portrayed as introverted and soft spoken at first), and gives him the freedom to eat at will without any external input on the matter. In other words, this allows for control.

I believe his first interaction with Gin, a starving man too stubborn to ask for help, to be very striking.

“I know starvation better than anyone. While I understand if you want to die with dignity, you wouldn’t be able to see tomorrow if you don’t eat.” Reminiscing over the ocean’s cruelty, and above all, understanding the pride that comes with said starvation, leads us to think there has been a definite and untold struggle.

Lastly, since this post is becoming seriously too long, in Whole Cake Island, we’re finally introduced to Sanji’s proper history, where he is confirmed to be an exiled prince from a cruel and sadistic monarchy. Particularly, we are shown how expectations led to horrific instances of abuse, focusing on how his interest in cooking would be mocked, and banned. This way, Sanji’s self sacrificial and self loathing personality in the present, while not explicit, becomes very, very clear and easy to understand. Obviously, we could talk about the various types of trauma Sanji suffers from in the present day, but for the sake of this post’s theme, I will focus only on some. After being locked underground, in an iron mask, he had to accept an unacceptable reality for any child. He could never make up for the fact he was born. He could never be good enough. He could never obtain love. Or so he thought. This makes it easier to see how Sanji needed a form of control to keep himself sane, especially one which gave him some sort of validation on his mother’s behalf, when she praised his cooking.

Once he will be dragged back to his abusive family as an adult, deciding to abandon his crew to protect them, Luffy will go on a hunger strike until he gets his chef back. The StrawHat captain is extremely emotionally intelligent, beyond being physically strong, and he will show Sanji exactly what he went through, and is going through, on his own skin, as if to have Sanji look in the mirror, and perhaps truly see how cruel and heartless he’d been towards himself. How crucial health is, and how loved he is by his found family.

Oda clearly used food and nutrition as forms of love in his story. And in the case of Sanji, he needed a physical manifestation of his hurt, addiction and control. In other words, he used food as a way to control, manipulate and handle love, or a lack thereof his entire life, the exact same way ED patients do.

That being said, Oda, as always, represented and talked about a community and a type of suffering that are not often talked about, and he did it remarkably well.

And with that, may you all be well and safe. Recovery is always possible, just as it was for this character.

#sanji #one piece #ed tw #anorexia trigger warning #eating disorder #starcloud rants

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