#tried to tag ppl i don't think i've tagged in this before...and if i have...then i am sorry

[urlocalmultigroupfan]

valentines....

pairing: channie x fem!reader

summary: spending a tooth-rotting valentines with your (new) sweet boyfriend <3

tags/warnings: none! just pure fluff <3 (plus first ily!)

a/n: happy valentines day! i am aware that this was posted later <3 i've been so busy all week with doctors appointments! thanks for being patient hehe <3 i decided to do channie since a lot of ppl think that chan is the most romantic so i thought it was cute <3 also not sure if im going to be taking the hiatus anymore honestly lmao. hope yall enjoy!! (sorry if this sucks i don't usually do fluff lmao)

masterlist

The snow had been falling lightly all day, turning the world outside into a soft, white wonderland. You stood by the window, watching the tiny flakes dance in the air before gently settling on the ground. It was Valentine’s Day, and though the world around you felt quiet and still, your heart was anything but. You had no idea what to expect, but there was one person who made every day feel special.

Chan.

Your heart fluttered at the thought of him. He was always thoughtful, but on days like today, he seemed to go above and beyond.

You heard the door creak open behind you, and there was no mistaking the sound of his voice.

“Hey, y/n! Look what I brought.”

Turning around, your eyes immediately found him, standing there with a shy smile, holding a bag filled with what you could only assume was a Valentine’s Day surprise. The sight of him—his dark hair slightly messy from the cold, cheeks flushed from the chilly air—made your heart skip a beat.

“What did you get me?” you teased, walking toward him, your breath fogging up in the cool air.

“Not telling,” he replied, grinning widely. “But first, you have to come outside with me.”

“Outside? In the snow?” You raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to freeze me?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while. Please?”

You hesitated for a moment before nodding, curiosity taking over. If there was one thing you could always count on, it was that Chan would never do anything without a reason, and you knew he had something special planned.

You grabbed your coat and scarf, following him outside. The air was crisp, the snow crunching underfoot as you stepped onto the front porch. Chan turned to face you, his expression softening, and there was something about the way he looked at you that made your heart swell.

“You trust me, right?” he asked, his voice a little quieter now.

“Of course,” you replied without hesitation, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Good,” he said. Without another word, he crouched down, offering his back. “Hop on.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. “What? Chan, we’re in the snow!”

He just grinned. “You’ll see. Trust me.”

You hesitated only for a moment before climbing onto his back, feeling the warmth of his body as he stood up, carrying you effortlessly through the thickening snow. You held onto him tightly, your face buried in his jacket as you tried to stifle a laugh at how ridiculous and sweet this all felt.

“I didn’t expect a piggyback ride on Valentine’s Day,” you said, your voice muffled against him.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy,” he replied softly.

You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it made your heart race. It wasn’t just about the big gestures—though the snow and the piggyback ride definitely counted as something big—it was about the way he made you feel every single day. Like you were the most important person in his world.

As he carried you through the snow, you both laughed and talked, forgetting for a moment about the world around you, lost in the moment.

Eventually, you reached a small bench that overlooked the snowy landscape. He gently sat you down, still holding you close, and you both stared at the horizon where the sky was painted in shades of pink and orange, the setting sun reflecting off the snow.

There was a peacefulness in the moment, a calm that made everything feel right. You didn’t need anything more. You had everything you needed right there.

Chan turned to you, his expression softening even further. “Y/n, I need to tell you something.”

You tilted your head, looking into his eyes. “What is it?”

“I’ve been wanting to say this for a while, but today feels like the perfect day…” He took a deep breath, his hand gently cupping your face. “I love you.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sincerity in his voice, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks. There was nothing else you could say except, “I love you too, Chan.”

He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/n. You make everything better.”

And in that moment, with the snow falling softly around you both and Chan’s warmth surrounding you, it truly felt like the best Valentine’s Day you’d ever had.

hope yall enjoyed <3

today's writing playlist....

case 143 by stray kids, heyday by 3racha, polaroid love by enhypen, bite me by enhypen, 3racha, happily ever after by txt, blue hour by txt, heaven by txt, do it like that by txt, maniac by viviz, earth, wind & fire by boynextdoor, know your worth by khalid, killer queen by mad tsai

my playlist

taglist: @rockstarkkami @sirloncelot-of-bananas

taglist is open! please comment if you would like to be added <3

[eclaire-went-bam]

ppl, especially low/no-empathy ppl, who talk to ableist anti-pd cluster b abuse believers with the upmost patience & understanding are so crazy (/pos) for that because what

how do y'all sit there and level w/ them just. so much.

i know it's kind of necessary bcs even if they don't listen to us anyways, they're only gonna think we're 10× worse if we don't walk them through the spiel w/ hands held (which we're not even owed to do anyways) but like i can hardly see myself doing it

so like

respect

[tyrannuspitch]

i've been thinking about jotun thor designs today, particularly his hair. so far i've only seen people leave it blond, which is fair enough, but i feel like there's a lot of fun potential in trying to make a jotun *equivalent* to blond that would fit more naturally into the jotun landscape...

some possibilities for light jotun hair:

snow white (pigment operating on a simple on/off binary)

white with subtle yellow undertones, like a polar bear

white with subtle blue undertones, like ice

pale blue

silvery grey

charcoal grey, like an arctic fox's summer coat

white flecked with/layered over black (or another colour)

a mixture of muted yellows, browns and greys, like a snow leopard

pale pink - low levels of the same red pigment as in their eyes (presumably a display feature rather than camouflage - which might explain why warriors normally shave their heads)

slapdash moodboard with some of the more realistic sources of inspiration:

and the more fantastical:

[cetoddle-archive]

thank you @amoresdulces for tagging me! 🤍

rules: tag 10 people you want to get to know better

favorite color: purple, specifically lilac

relationship status: single and i'm being soooo brave about it

last thing you googled: 'kitty adventure flash game' ...i was trying to remember the name of a random dumb little flash game i used to play during study hall in hs...i didn't figure it out :(

song stuck in your head: cream soda -exo

last song you listened to: do not touch -misamo

dream trip: i dunno if i really have one.... i just prefer staying at home :')

anything you want right now: motivation to work on my writing :')

i tag: @dainseif, @werewolfcinder, @5tar, @staycgrls, @grlfriends uhh. that's it :]

[daz4i]

when ww said "this is not my life, I'm no survivor, i only happened to survive"

[arolesbianism]

Sigh. It begins (being forced to see the worst aro hcs I've ever seen in my life because ppl have a talent for finding the absolute worst characters to be their token aro hc)

[neevblanc]

this is a req for your cafe event! 🩷 15/Dark Era dazai x reader word: hm.....sick (like the kind of sick after you drink too much) bar lupin shall be the death of me🥹 If you need a name: April

a/n —hiii april! :D ty for sending this in! i've never tried my hand at writing dark era dazai so i hope i can do our little funky guy justice lmao :P

blanca’s cafe event!

this event is now CLOSED! feel free to leave a normal old ask, though!

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Dazai Osamu x GN!reader

Tags— dark era dazai, he's a little mean but what can ya do, regular dazai suicidal antics (help him), killer hangover (sort of), bullying him into being cared for seems to be a theme amongst the ppl in his life (looking at you, kunikida)

CW/TW— drinking, underage drinking, mentions of vomiting, dehydration, suicidal themes

please keep yourself safe.

note — i ended up modeling what reader is to this dazai as something similar to what higuchi is to akutagawa. not exactly, of course, since all four of these characters are complex and very much different but the premise was...inspired, i think. it's interesting. dazai is interesting!

𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:

"Dead to Me by Kali Uchis"

00:34 ━━●─────── 03:19

ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ

"i don't know what you've been told. see i am not your enemy."

The walk up to the roof is familiar. The stairway is damp, and the stairs creak under your feet; the building is one of the older ones left in the city and, therefore, made of wood instead of the metal you were used to seeing.

You open the door to the roof, biting the inside of your cheek as you step out into the open and let it shut behind you. The soft night wind bites at your face in greeting as soon as you are entirely on the roof. Your eyes dart to the right, and you find what you’re looking for in the exact place it always is.

“Are you done now, Dazai-san?” You ask, approaching the man. He’s sat on the ledge of the building. Despite seeing him in this position more times than you could count, unease still seeps into your stomach and pools at the bottom. You stop just beside him, and without thinking much of it, you do the math to make sure you’d be able to catch him if anything happened.

You shuffle a foot closer. He doesn’t look at you when he speaks.

“Yes.” Dazai’s response is clipped, but he takes a deep and visible breath before speaking. You know immediately he’s had too much to drink.

“Are you here alone?” You ask, despite knowing that Oda-san and Ango-san wouldn’t have let Dazai up, and Dazai wouldn’t have been on the roof if Oda-san and Ango-san were with him.

“None of your business.” He huffs, almost clumsy, as he swings his gangly legs back toward the roof and stands slower than usual. You frowned but kept your hands to yourself, knowing he wouldn’t appreciate a steadying hand. You turn first, keeping track of his footsteps that sound quietly just after yours. You hold the door to the stairwell open for him, and Dazai passes you without the slightest acknowledgment. 

He heads out of the building without another word, and instead of following his steps back to his…room, you quickly round the corner and head down the steps to bar Lupin. Two steps at a time, your breath comes out in cloudy puffs due to the cold. The bar door creaks ever so slightly as you open it, and the man at the bar gives you a strained smile when he sees you.

“Got him?” He asks, putting down the glass he’d been drying. You nod, sighing lightly.

“Could I have some of those bread rolls you sell? Put them on Dazai-san’s tab, please. I’ll be back to pay it off later in the week anyway.” You say, leaning on the bar. He smiles gently at you and packs the little rolls into a box for you to take. He hands them over and tilts his head toward the door.

“Now get going. It’s too damn cold and late for you kids to be out.” He shoos you away, and you hurry back into the winter air again.

Fortunately, Dazai has slumped against a building wall not too far away. A flickering streetlight shines above him, keeping his form visible to you despite the layers of black he insists on wearing.

You walk to him quickly, and as you near, he straightens and doesn’t bother to look your way. You do him a favor and pretend he hadn’t been slack-jawed a second ago, half coherent and entirely too relaxed in public.

You fumble the take-out box open and hand him one of the rolls, ignoring the hazy way his eyes roll over your entire form as he takes it. A Dazai this plastered doesn’t have much of the subtly everyone might expect from him.

“These are cold.” He huffed, demolishing half of the roll in one bite. You smile tightly at him.

“Unfortunately, they’re not kept fresh for 18 hours, Dazai-san. We’re lucky Lupin had any leftovers at all.” You sigh. Dazai busies himself with the rest of the roll in his hands, so you don’t get much of a response.

The walk to the shipping yard isn’t too eventful. Fellow drunks and the shady people that populate Yokohama’s streets at night become less and less as they tread deeper into Port Mafia territory. For all the fear that the PM no doubt instilled into Yokohama’s citizens, they weren’t the type to break promises. Shop owners paid their protection fee monthly, and they were dutifully kept from any damage caused by the (admittedly desperate and exaggeratedly large population caused by the Port Mafia) local criminals.

Despite his inebriated state, Dazai’s unsteady feet lead him toward the container he calls home- which you’re grateful for since you couldn’t ever remember which was his in the sea of containers the Mafia had come in and out of the shipping yard.

You watch him fumble with the latches, managing only to flip those over. Dazai had never been the strongest, so when he goes to pull on the handles and pop the container open, he stumbles backward and just barely manages to not fall flat on his ass.

“Um.” He slurs, blinking at his hands. They must have let go without him trying to. You bite back a laugh and pull the handles, only slightly staggering with the weight of the door once it pops open.

Dazai huffs softly and heads in, leaving you to close the door behind you by a cable he had fashioned to the door. You secure the door and turn to flick the lamp in the corner on, illuminating the space in a warm glow. The lamp was an addition you insisted on. Eventually, Dazai allowed you to drag in the thing (along with a semi-quiet-enough generator to keep it running). You had a feeling it was only ever turned on when you were in here.

Dazai had collapsed onto his mattress, worryingly quiet and face down. You put the container with the rolls down near the makeshift bed and gently roll him over, making sure he settled on his side to avoid choking on his own vomit in the night. His face is startlingly blank when you can see it again, and he eyes you with contempt.

“I didn’t say you could touch me.” He says lightly, though you know better than to think he wasn’t bothered.

“Sorry, Dazai-san. You wouldn’t enjoy dying in a pool of your own vomit, I think.” You answer lowly, slowly reaching for a bottle of water that had clearly rolled away one night and hadn’t been picked up since.

He gives you that same withering look and brings a hand up to rest over his eyes. You imagine the headache he’s sporting must be killer- Dazai was not one to be nice to himself, especially not with something so destructive as drinking.

You gesture for him to take the bottle in your hands, shaking it lightly as if he were a toddler who needed the visual cue. He huffs and takes it.

“You should leave.” He mutters, haphazardly bringing the bottle’s opening to his mouth and drinking messily. You ignore the way some of the water overwhelms him and dribbles down the side of his mouth.

“I should, but it wouldn’t do to have you die by choking. Even asleep, I hear it’s a horrible way to die.” You hum, finally shifting into a comfortable sitting position next to the mattress.

A sober Dazai might’ve stared you down until you left, and a particularly pissy one would’ve shoved you out himself.

As he was, he grumbled and let the bottle fall back into your waiting hands and promptly went to sleep, sagging like a corpse into the bed. You place the bottle next to you and sigh as quietly as possible- Dazai could be one hell of a light sleeper.

His breathing deepens quickly, and it’s startlingly quiet despite his inebriation. Dazai was always like this, somehow- walking the line between alive and dead. He was your superior by multiple clearance levels, sure, but not much older than you and not all that physically impressive. His strength was in his demeanor, of course- in his sharp tongue and quick-witted mind.

He was still young, though, and despite being a bit younger than him you were always a little taken aback by how other members treated him when his face was still round and soft like a child’s. The only people who really treated him like a kid you could count on one hand, and one of them was his age.

You’d keep these thoughts to yourself, of course. You’d seen people get shot for much less let alone question their superiors power.

The lamp flickered in the corner. The yellow light made him look sickly. The floor of the crate was rigged and unforgiving, but you preferred to stay where you were. In case Dazai needed anything.

And if it meant you got to settle the tightness in your chest by watching his own move steadily throughout the night, then no one else would have to know.

[ruegarding]

Hey, quick question if you don't mind me asking, what were your thoughts on Chalice of the Gods?

overall, i wish rick stopped at toa like he said he was going to. the more rick adds, the more the world-building suffers as a result. that being said, i didn't completely hate cotg like i thought i would. there's a few good moments, but, in general, it reads like a cash-grab.

let's start with the good. percy has some of the most in-character moments he's had in the universe since pjo.

percy's confrontation w geras was so good that i actually wish this was part of percy's character arc in hoo. percy spent almost all of pjo knowing he was going to die—he saw the fates cut the string in tlt and in som he put together what the prophecy meant: he was going to die either at or before 16. and this is exactly why this confrontation works and why i think it's better than new rome. new rome can protect a demigod from monsters, not from fate. percy wasn't scared of monsters. if he was, he would've stayed at chb year-round.

and i really like that geras was willing to entertain percy bc he had turned down godhood. like the first time percy ever thinks abt immortality seriously (in botl) this is what he has to say:

so immortality is fundamentally at odds w percy's character bc he defines himself so thoroughly w the ppl he loves. and this is exactly what allows him to get through to geras! it's such a good exploration of percy's character and the future he's now able to consider.

similarly, this section

is more in-character than almost all of hoo. this is a prime example of how percy's loyalty works and addresses how it's misconstrued in fandom. percy has a desire for freedom, and that desire informs how he respects ppl. percy's loyalty isn't a possessive "i won't let you do this" bc he will, he will always let someone make their own choice at the end of the day bc it's what he would want. and this was actually established in tlt, when sally says "you're enough like me to understand" and asks percy to let her save herself. so percy lets bianca fight talus, he lets nico walk away, he gives luke the knife, he lets ganymede choose his own story, even when he disagrees w it. and this is why percy's arc in hoo sucked! rick tried to give percy the typical hero complex, but it's contradictory w percy's character. so when i saw this passage i was so relieved. i thought this part of percy died w pjo.

also, to talk abt someone other than percy, this moment

is good. i love this abt annabeth.

and grover saying the hardest thing is sitting by and not being able to do anything. bc grover is usually in a support role and he wasn't there at all in hoo. i also like that percy is confronted w the fact that he's not expendable. thumbs up from me.

the bad...i'm just going to keep short bullet points.

what even is this plot

it doesn't work as part of pjo and yet it's marketed as the sixth book in the series

why is zeus a disney villain. i hate everything abt it

the inconsistencies...annabeth's cap...why are we continuing to treat percy like he's disinterested in learning??? also. what do you mean you're not allowed at camp after you turn 18? WHAT DO YOU MEAN????? this was not a thing. and wasn't rhea in hiding or something?? now she's casually having brunch?

there's too much "percy is the stupid bf and annabeth is the competent gf who takes care of him." i hated every second of this. also annabeth is disabled. her being intelligent does not remove her disability. she struggles.

i rbed that post abt disaster cook annabeth and good cook percy and i stand by that.

the power monologue makes no damn sense (and another addition by op in the tags)

no seriously i'm begging someone to have a real conversation and understand percy is terrified of how powerful he is. i've been waiting for this since botl. WHICH WAS PUBLISHED IN 2008 BTW

i'm not a huge estelle or paul fan. like they're fine they're just not compelling.

the only time i feel sally and percy have the same connection as they had in tlt is when they're alone. this is a problem i've had for a while, but cotg does not fix it. when paul and annabeth are in the equation, it feels like percy is the outsider.

in summary, cotg is like a fanfic i would leave kudos for being a good percy character study despite having questionable moments. except it's canon. and these questionable things affect the world-building.

[uriekukistan]

ur one of the only ppl i follow that i know likes tokyo ghoul, and i just started reading it for the first time! (friends tried 2 get me into it when i was younger via the anime but i did Not Wanna so this is actually my first real read of it) i just started tg:re, so i have been Dying to talk abt it with somebody.. if u dont mind, who are ur faves? :3

omg im glad you did not watch the anime actually. the manga is infinitely better 🙏 okay this is not the place for me to rant against the anime let me move on before i get carried away

my number one fav and ofc the namesake of my url is urie <3 idk how far into :re you've gotten but i think he's like. the first to get introduced if im remembering correctly? but you might not get the vision Yet depending on how far you've read, but i just love an angry lil guy w daddy issues who cant express his emotions properly <3 no personal reasons for that at all.............his growth ends up being really nice too you'll see you'll see

another brand of character i like is the guy who can't stand coming in second in anything but always does, and has a one sided beef with the person who beats them every single time, so i also love takizawa. i don't wanna say too much abt him bc i don't wanna spoil the fun for you but he ends up having a really cool arc too

im realizing as i type this out most of my favs are either from :re alone, or get the majority of their development in :re im really trying to hold my tongue so bad rn,,,,,,,

idk if you've met saiko yet? she spends the entire first volume of :re asleep lmaoooo but she's great. i love how she's a character that stands for kindness in a world full of hate and different groups trying to kill each other all the time

recently i've come to appreciate eto more as well, i dont think i liked her much at first, but one of my tg mutuals is a big eto fan and i think that's helped me appreciate her more. also bc said mutual rbs all the posts i rb thinking "oh this post is so me" and adds the eto tag......okay maybe i am like her. also again with the daddy issues characters good lord pls pay that no mind,,,,,,,

cutting myself off after this one but i love both of the kirishima siblings :3 touka is so cool, and i love how her rough exterior hides how gentle and emotional she really is. i love characters like that. and ayato, he's so snarky and fun, but again, his roughness hides how much he cares. i don't think this qualifies as a spoiler (i mean it gets confirmed in :re, but i feel like it was implied in the first half of the series), but after touka kills those doves in retaliation for killing hinami's mom, ayato starts killing doves too, because he also has a rabbit mask, to detract attention from his sister.....so it ties that first incident to him rather than her :')

UGHIDGF i love tokyo ghoul so much, but i barely talk abt it anymore sorry to my tg mutuals :') pls come ask abt it anytime im happy to discuss !! glad you're liking it so far tho ! do u have any favs yet? i'd love to hear more of your thoughts :3

[eteisvalssi]

i promised to post some thoughts from both of the concert days at kulttuuritalo so i'm gonna be putting them under a read more :)

saturday 2.3.

i arrived at the venue some time before 9 am

i feel like i always say this but the people that i hang out with at concerts and while queueing are always super nice. i got to know new people, meet mutuals and hang out with so many people i'd gotten to know at previous gigs i'd been to

just remembered that i think i forgot to thank @king-krisu for letting me tag along to their apartment to warm up my pizza that tasted like cardboard so i'm doing it now, kiitos!

buying hand and foot warmers for the queueing was the best purchase ever

when we were let inside, the staff was apparently not informed on where the cloakroom was actually open and if people who were over 18 but didn't have the ticket could go to the +18 side and everything was just a mess and ppl were running around and didn't know where to go

i did get front row on kris' side and it was actually my first time there, i'd always been on jan and nace's side before that

i've listened to pilvet pilvet for a while now and i was so happy to actually see them live, couldn't ask for a better opener

jc stewart was also very good! i'd never heard of him or his songs before but i tried to learn some of them before the gig lol

i feel like we've all seen so much from the soundcheck and gigs from videos and photos that i don't really have that much to add

when kiki came to put the setlist right in front of us we were like no it can't be this short they're definitely gonna play more songs. and they didn't 🥲

it was so nice to see them all actually move around a lot more now that they could

kris kicked straight towards me multiple times during the show and i kept thinking what have i done to deserve this

i completely fell in love with šta bih ja and bluza was so good too!!!

jan and bojan playing the piano <3

as the first gig on tour i kinda felt like they were still warming up after not performing for a while but still it was so good and i loved this concert so much

after the concert i went out with some friends i first met at the gig in tampere on the nordic tour :)

sunday 3.3.

i was supposed to go hang out in the queue for the day but i slept so bad and i was honestly in a bad mood because of that so i just stayed in bed for the whole day until it was time to leave to the venue with my friend and we were there just before the doors opened

i already posted my friend's thoughts from the show as a non-fan and you can find it here

i have a lot of thoughts that i wrote down on monday about going to a concert as a fan with a non-fan vs. alone but i'm not gonna be yapping about it in this post

i was kinda far back and i'm short so i didn't really see that well and i made the mistake of wearing a hoodie instead of what i was planning to wear so it was also extremely hot

this setlist was more to my taste with barve oceana and padam

the new song took me straight on a cruise ship to sweden

when they announced ruisrock the response of the audience was so loud!

i had a fan with me and i was fanning myself during vse kar vem and i just saw bojan looking at me kinda worried but when he saw me singing along he smiled and i almost started crying

i feel like they were more relaxed during this concert and that's understandable with the first concert being more of a rehearsal as the first concert of the whole tour

when we got out literally everyone was freaking out about everything that happened and saying how much better it was than yesterday

i was so tired and felt kinda sick that we just went to get some food after sitting down for a while and then i went back to my hotel room and that was it

overall i had a such a fun weekend! thanks to everyone who i spent time with <3 would've loved to talk to even more of you guys! next up is london and of course ruisrock in the summer :)

[ca-suffit]

The fact that nalyra tagged racism as a tw, swept any semblance of race related discussions under the rug, positioned themselves as a victim, and targeted other blogs as bullies for discussing race in any capacity, is VILE. I don't know if they are a person of color or white but it's what I've experienced personally in my life as a person of color MANY TIMES, as well as in fandom spaces. I am SHOCKED. The blatant disgust they have shown consistently in this fandom while hurling slurs, "subset" "loumanders" "bullies" is basic 101 racism and hate. I'm beginning to think most of this fandom are the same, and I wish viewers like nalyra wouldn't watch a show centered on race and then have the audacity and privilege to partake in active antiblack rhetoric with callout post for the fandom to blindly adhere to, and sell antiblack propoganda day by day.

What kind of fandom are we? Nalyra's actions remind me of the trial; anyone who tries to bring up topics of race are louis and claudia, nalyra and virginiaisforvampires and the side of the fandom that agrees with them are the advocat and the audience. It's the same situation, a stoning at us for daring to speak about complicated issues that nalyra deems beneath her. This fandom is a scary place. I'm thankful for your blog though, and for being courageous enough to keep it running.

(context post)

I'm beginning to think most of this fandom are the same

It is. I've seen this fandom since before the show and it was the same things. There's a lot bigger, better fandom now tho.....but not one that can exist in the tags still. The fact that this account is anon and most ppl who interact with it are also anon are proof of that. I put stuff in the tags to exist right alongside all this shit and keep ppl aware and let conversations be seen that would otherwise not be seen, but it's going up against a lot. It's not going to overturn fandom racism by any means, but it's at least providing a space where ppl can know they're not fucking crazy.

I have started to block some anons so that's been part of it but ppl have also gotten tired of trying to fight me after so many months. I came in prepared and knowing what they do and my inbox now has become more about letting ppl rly say things instead of threatening me. that's something I didn't think would happen bcuz....nobody's ever done this here before? but I'm happy it's been turning out this way. I wish this fandom were safe for ppl to interact with without being anon but...it's something for now. I'm glad ppl find some kind of comfort and voice in it.

[fandomshatefatpeople]

I've been fat my whole life. Ever since I was a kid. And ever since I was a kid I've been mocked, bullied, ridiculed, insulted and even physically assaulted for being fat. To the point I ended up with an eating disorder and lost a lost of weight. Way too fast. In a way that wasn't healthy at all. But I still wasn't happy. Because I couldn't recognize myself anymore. And I felt like i was just doing this for other people. But it's just so hard for me to accept my body. It just feels like I'll never be happy with it no matter what

I'm so sorry we haven't answered this. I know that this is a triggering ask so I'm gonna add all the tags i possibly can followers.

I'm actually a lot like you Nonny. I was a chubby kid, then got my period at 10 because I was so fat. I had an eating disorder by 14 and while it didn't last long (the bulimia at least) I kinda got comfortable in my skin even though I slowly crawled back up to my previous weight I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. So the meds they put me on made me gain weight (50 pounds in 6 months). There after I did yoyo dieting and exercising flirted with bulimia again but it didn't work this time.

I'm not telling you this to trauma dump. I want you to consider my age and experience. I'm in my early forties. And its like... part of the reason I wasn't happy with my body was because I grew up with magazines and tv and movies constantly showing me thin ppl.

i don't think I stopped yoyo dieting until the cycle of yoyp dieting made me hit 250 lbs (I'm only 5'2) by then i was like 28/30ish. And like I think what changed was that I was watching media with like Donna from Parks and Rec, Shirley Bennet from Community. And they were never made to feel ugly for being fat. It was eye opening. (spoiler alert even though I'm not black Ugly betty was like more of the same thin ppl are the only that matter).

I don't think I really got comfortable in my skin until I joined pinterest about 7 or 8 years ago and got fed a steady stream of fat people in cute outfits.

Its still hard to find fat representation though. And I started looking into romance novels with chubby and fat protagonists about 5 years ago. Most notably the Brown sisters trilogy. They're all overweight and they all have these handsome men falling head over heels with them.

But like its one thing to admire people on pinterest with cute outfits. its a complete other thing to actually shop for yourself and give yourself permission to buy cute clothes.

One strange thing that happened about 3 years ago was that I gained like 40 pounds and all of my boring clothes didn't fit me anymore.

So this time shopped on lane bryant for cute dresses and jeans. and torrid, and hot topic. I started playing with makeup. (before I had like a uniform of jeans).

I'm not gonna lie people will *always* praise you for losing weight even if its because you're literally sick with an eating disorder or having health problems. (a friend of mine who did belly dancing lost like 30 pounds like really fast because all of the sudden she couldn't process meat anymore everyone fawned over her weight loss). she was literally starving and people wouldn't stop cooing over her skinniness.

I don't know what to think about society at large and their obsession with thinness. I've tried telling my family that I no longer want to keep clothes from when I was 250ish and they're all like "oh don't worry you'll lose the weight!!!"

I'm like bitch please. But its exhausting having people encourage you to lose weight. If you want you can message us off anon!!!

*hugs*

mod laina

[soviet-siscon]

i said in the tags of the previous post but I'll say it here to put the thoughts down properly. but kinda ironically, it was fauxcest that made me realise I'm like *this*, not because i liked it but because it made me uncomfortable and sad in an incredibly specific way that made me realise i couldn't just substitute those feelings. i tried really hard and none of it made me not want to start crying and go "you're not my sister. i want my sister". i know it's a certified me problem™ but it's funny to think how many other ppl might have had a similar experience.

"fauxcest made me realise I'm into my family" but absolutely not in the way people expect.

I get uncomfortable when people try to call me their sister or something, either I'm calling myself that to be comforting to someone or I'm not being called it at all. that's kinda all I'll accept. i know there's a degree of being ace involved but feel so unpleasant when someone tries to like push that relationship on me EVEN when it's something I've asked them to try doing (although again don't get me started on being always assigned "Big Sis" as comptop lol)

again this is all a huge big me problem that doesn't affect other people's relationships to incest but it's not a perspective I've seen people talk about before so idk. here it is lol

[galedekkarios]

mx galedekkarios dot tumblr dot com may i please have some gale and/or bloodweave hcs from your big beautiful mind 👉👈 (or honestly just any longform post of bg thoughts at all bc ur tags keep inflicting me w gory stickmen disease and wanting to read more ;;)

oh anon whadda hell.. u flatter me. 🫶 i unplugged my brain real quick and gave it a shake and this is all what fell out (some are mature):

in a modern au, gale's second favorite cuisine (after greek ofc) is east asian! he loves to both eat it and cook it from scratch. chinese, korean, japanese, etc. he's even good at other asian cuisines like thai and vietnamese. he's gotten very familiar with a lot of recipes and actively tries to learn more. when he doesn't feel like cooking that night, he opts for takeout. he's been a loyal customer of a handful of restaurants for so long that they already know his tastes too.

the only reason why gale's students don't try to flirt with him is because he's too much of a "my wife" guy. he's always wearing his ring, always talking about his partner, and has portraits of them in his office and everything. there's just no way you don't know that he's happily taken. you could be talking about the most random thing ever and he'd be like "omg! this reminds me of how my partner blahblahblah—" and everyone else is just like 😐 because he's already told this story five times before. not even tara is safe from this (and she was probably present for whatever story it is this time, too!). [this is assuming his students are older / uni prof]

i think gale would be the type of person to have a very Intense gaze without meaning to. the kind where you can feel it whenever he's looking at you. or when he's gazing at you lovingly, or even just looking you in the eye as you speak, it's almost too much. it's just so earnest, so sincere, so... intent on witnessing you and really paying attention, that it's like. whoa man. whoaaaaaaa now let's fucking chill before i blink and realize i've fallen in love with you alright 😳 (and, of course, this Greatly unsettles astarion in the beginning bc he's someone that can't afford to be seen.)

i know in my heart that mr "mine was a popular hand at the annual blackstaff's ball" + bagged a goddess + with the way i talk you can't be surprised i'm a generous munch + wyll, is it true that ppl think wizards don't fuck? :( bc i assure you we absolutely do!!!!! + mystra had pleasure domes dekarios was a hot girl once and his pussy still does pop severely. he's just in his depression era rn 💔

wyll calls gale elegant, minthara calls him dashing, shadowheart says he smells like a wealthy dowager, lae'zel assumes correctly that he had many tutors in his youth, and gale frequenting the temple of beauty in waterdeep all make me feel like gale x astarion are very the lady and the tramp coded. after they get married, they're old money x new money.

gale is always eager to teach astarion new spells, but astarion only gets excited about the ones that either help him be a better scoundrel and/or that spice up their sex life. which like. is still a win for them both either way

um. throat goat. that's it that's the headcanon sorry except it's also not really a hc bc he alludes to this but it's important to me tht we repeat it. but also maybe it shocks astarion the first time he's on the receiving end of it like boy WHAT!!!! you didn't tell me you was a freak like that!!! literally that damn shawty ok meme. gale gives him such wet sloppy glizzy gluck that it makes astarion feel like he has to wipe his ass afterward smh

neither of them want to get anywhere near bugs, but in any au gale would be the type to take it outside and astarion would just kill it using one of gale's 39304308309 books laying around

gale struggles to catch sarcasm and astarion loves to rile him up and take the piss out of him for it. lovingly ofc. whenever gale does understand astarion's sarcastic comments, he feels very proud of himself.

astarion sometimes drops things on purpose just to watch gale bend over. sorry (i'm the one that's sorry, not him btw)

[sapphire-weapon]

hello there, how's your day going :)

i know you've talked about this before, i've seen your answer myself but i just have to say this one to let out some frustration in me lol

i've been scrolling down on tiktok for some eagleone content and whenever i see a video slightly about them there's like "siblings fr" / "brother-sister" captions and it's making me almost fume LMFAOO

what the HELL are these people talking about seriously.

and the comments are even worse, saying "so glad everyone is thinking of them as siblings" kinda shit

i have this urge....urge to puke bc whAT 🗣️🗣️❗❗

like, say something normal like "good friends" or "platonic" at least if you can't see them as a ship, since NOTHING in RE4make between Leon and Ashley are sibling-like to me and im sure many people who know smt little about body language can tell that

i just think this is some kinda propaganda to stop ppl shipping eagleone at this point lol some new ppl could indeed feel bad about shipping them if the majority of the ppl they see on social media see them as... siblings *pukes*

however it makes me wanna write some juicy, intense smut with the ship just to rile these ppl up haha

(thanks for reading this nonsense babbling)

.....

I know it's frustrating, anon. It's easy to ignore one person being dumb and wrong, because your brain can more easily go "ha ha look at what the jackass said" and move on. But to see people being stupid and wrong en masse over and over and over again is a little soul-crushing.

I'm personally going through this with the goddamn mafia background shit. I've kind of reached a point where I'd rather be trapped in a room with the entirety of Aeon fandom than have to bear witness to even just one more motherfucker who actually thinks that Leon is actually legitimately meant to be seen as Italian by Capcom -- ESPECIALLY after seeing what he looks like in Remake -- because apparently half of the people in RE fandom have never actually seen an Italian person in their fucking life. And, as someone from New Jersey, I take that shit personally. My stepdad's last name is Renzulli. Don't fucking tell me that Leon Scott fucking Kennedy is meant to be the son of Italian immigrants.

But I think what's important to bear in mind is that nothing that dumbasses say in this fandom -- no matter how many they are or how many times they say their stupid bullshit -- changes what the canon actually is or says. Twitter/Tumblr/TikTok dumbasses especially have no power over RE canon. When game devs look for fan response, they look for actual fan response to their official tweets and blog posts, as well as some forums (hello ResetEra), prominent content creators on Twitch and Youtube and what their audiences are saying, and game reviews (as well as comments posted on game reivews). No one at Capcom gives a singular flying fuck what the deeper fandom side of fandom is doing or saying, because they know that most of us are certifiable.

So, as rage-inducing as it is, we gotta just let some things go, man.

Leon/Ashley is a canonical romance, intended to be viewed as romantic by Capcom, and that's not going to change no matter how many thinly-veiled misogynists try to bad-faith morality police their way around fandom otherwise.

Leon Kennedy has no official backstory per canon and has never, in any way, shape, or form, been modeled or portrayed in a way that's meant to be viewed as Italian or in a way that makes sense with the idea he has mafia ties in his family or background.

Anyone who ever tries to tell you otherwise is selling something.

Remember: if it's not in the games, it's not canon. And what is in the games is a romance. Full stop.

So, if you can channel that rage into something productive like smut, please, for the love of god, do. It's a way better response than getting yourself all riled up. And this ship needs more creators putting stuff in the tag, besides.

[inchidentally]

I love it when you tag Lewis as king Arthur 😘

<3<3 what's wild is that I had that idea in my head before I'd even gotten into f1blr bc of my F1 obsessed family members - they've been die hard Lewis fans literally since I can remember and they still talk about him as like a young phenom and changing the culture of F1 for the better. so the 'king' part was always there (esp when he did the Wakanda Forever thing) and then in my head it developed that he's ushered in a Camelot era to the sport (or trying to) and was like oh man this is gonna be my Lewis tag.

I mostly get all my knowledge from my history nerd friend or movies and wikipedia so obv this isn't extremely literal but:

I've got Lando tagged as 'heir apparent' sometimes bc Lewis adores him so much and I think sees a lot of himself. it cracks me up when ppl try to stir up drama about them when both of them will remember how much the press and fans loved taking Lewis' unfiltered early comments out of context for drama. BUT he is absolutely not Mordred from the later stories, he'd be the extremely early version who was a brave but complicated nephew of Arthur's and also Gawain/George's cousin (that fits so perfect). I don't want to use the name for his tag tho bc most of the associations are bad. so I use heir apparent as Lando becoming more like a reincarnation of King Arthur himself when Lewis leaves the future of Camelot to him.

I also love that there's literally a Lord Percival in Charles and I especially love that he's the character who was originally said to have found the sangreal for King Arthur after enduring many trials - which drives me absolutely insane since Ferrari means he always dresses in symbolic holy/royal blood red. even il Predestinato like ?? it all fits

I know they don't interact much at all yet but Oscar was already tagged by me as 'Galahad' for his bravery, chivalry and love for being a knight above all else - and the lore was changed to have him be the one to discover the grail which I could also easily see.

I've got a real thing for possibly naming Fernando as Lancelot bc he charms the royal court and I could also see him bedding someone he shouldn't and causing absolute chaos asjgfljas (that's coming up next!!) also him being Oscar/Galahad's father makes SO much sense narrative wise. the son has so much of the father's power but without the flaws/complexities.

I've got a wild idea that Nico is Guinevere and Fernando seduced him away from Lewis and that nearly caused the downfall of Camelot. Nico took himself to a convent/Sky Sports for redemption and healing asflgjasgfsla. I even love that I can pretend Lewis tried to summon Fernando back to Camelot after the whole affair but Fernando refused.

George's role keeps escaping me bc he's beautiful enough to be Lancelot but none of the rest of the narrative works as well as it does for Fernando. Gawain seems the most likely since he is Arthur's nephew and a powerful knight who also has a close friendship with Fernando/Lancelot and is cousin to Lando/Arthur's heir (2019 rookies brotherhood).

that's all I have so far!!