#treatment for boils
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#boils#how to get rid of boils#causes of boils#home remedies for boils#how to get rid of boils on face#skin boils#causes and treatment of boils#what causes boils on your breast#how to get rid of boils on buttocks#vaginal boils#what causes boils on the inner thigh?#causes of boils on buttocks#what are the causes of boils#boils on armpits#what causes boils#treatment for boils#antibiotics for boils#how to treat skin boils#heat boils
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as much as I get why lucanis is positioned as the one needed to kill ghilan'nain as the mage killer etc, I can't help but feel like it should've been davrin
like. there's something about the dalish elf with andruil's vallaslin, a grey warden, a monster hunter, hunting down the mother of all monsters, who creates monstrosities with the blight, who was once andruil's beloved.
ghilan'nain created the halla. she still cares for the halla, despite what she's become, despite being unable to create them anymore. davrin cared for the halla under his uncle's tutelage. assan cares for and nurses a sick and dying halla. assan, who's name means arrow in elven, when andruil's weapon was a bow, who's hunting instincts give way to something more protective.
davrin was taught the way of the three trees. it was created by andruil. andruil, the goddess of the hunt, also known as the goddess of sacrifice. davrin feels like a weapon sharpened to make that final sacrifice against the blight, a tool that once drove andruil mad, and has twisted ghilan'nain into something unrecognisable. andruil, blood and force, who loved a mortal for her creations and raised her to godhood.
would ghilan'nain see andruil in him? would that offer something more to her character than just oh she's evil?
the dalish tell a legend of ghilan'nain and a hunter who bested her. maybe it was a prophecy instead.
#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilgaurd spoilers#datv#davrin#ghilan'nain#andruil#like idk if im making sense. but theres something there that intrigues me#ghilan'nain is absolutely a villain but the problem with the villains in this game is that it boils down to oh theyre just evil#theres these hints with ghil of something more (the halla. andruil. the fact she might not know what she looks like)#and tying her to davrin narratively couldve allowed us to learn more of that#she doesnt have to be misunderstood or sympathetic or have a turn around and be better moment. but there has to be something more than just.#Oh theyre evil#but thats a whole different problem that ties to the treatment of the elves/the dalish#anYWAYS
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the 2nd half of death note should've just gone full comedy complete with a laugh track and had these two dissing each other the whole time
#THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTIIIIIING#death note#light yagami#near#nate river#death note fanart#anime#manga#digital art#moonriver#tagging that too idc#elle draws#they'd never get shit done if they were trying to solve the kira case together#they'd be too busy talking shit about each other it'd be so funny#I just know seeing that kira finger puppet alone would have light's blood BOILING#guys remember in that deleted scene where kira kills a large portion of the SPK and near calls light just to give him the silent treatment#they're soooo fucking funny#you've heard of real lovers well how about real HATERS#imagine near untying light's shoelaces while he's sitting on the floor#I can imagine them doing the thing where you don't wanna talk to the other person so you say it to someone else asking them to relay it#even though the other person is literally Standing Right There like âgevanni please tell light that his idea will never workâ#âyou can tell me yourself near I'm literally right hereâ âand gevanni please also tell him that we're not paying for his lunch todayâ#I'll be here all day folks
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That post I reblogged about Imogen '8 strentgh' Temult being fanonized as burly is mostly lighthearted, but it also reminded me how the fanon depiction of Imogen has shifted. Earlier in the campaign, when Laudna was perceived as the stronger of the two, the one who took care of poor little innocent, anxious, migraine afflicted Imogen, fanon-Imogen was this short, round, soft looking person. Now, as canon has made it very clear that Imogen is the (mentally) stronger of the two, the one who's trying to stop Laudna from spiraling, her fanon self has shifted into something more traditionally masculine, leaning into the farmgirl aesthetic of pants and cowboy hats and muscles, even as her canon design has only gotten more feminine with sheer dresses and skirts.
And I'm not one to pass up on fun fanon designs; I've certainly reblogged my fair share of muscly Imogen because I'm only human and Imogen with muscles hot. I donât think these designs are done with any larger motive than 'she looks good like this'. But I also kind of think we need to have a conversation about how fandom keeps trying to slot these two characters in a non-heteronormative relationship into heteronormative roles of (feminine) soft, weak, innocent person to be cared for/saved and (masculine) strong, heroic, saviour taking care of them, however unconsciously itâs done.
#critical role#cr3#imogen temult#laudna#i didnât personally see this as much with beau and yasha but I've heard tell they received similar treatment from some corners#with beau being depicted as the masculine breadwinner and yasha as the feminine housewife#i promise guys you don't have to turn queer relarionships into butch/femme for them to be good#or boil characters down to heteronormative caricatures of their canon selves#imogen and laudna both are deeply complex and simultaneously very strong and very weak in different areas#they also both present as highly feminine. they canât be reduced to masculine caregiver and feminine care reciever#nella talks cr#imodna#southern gothic
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one thing that's missing from these convos about amc not submitting assad zaman for a golden globes nom that makes it 10x more malicious on amc's part is that a nomination isn't just like oh... ~simple appreciation for an actor's performance. even if there's no win, it results in a profile boost for these actors & them being able to command a higher salary when it comes to future projects. it's something that gets notice on their CV. these studios and networks love being able to market their shit with things like "starring golden globe nominee john doe" or "emmy winner jane doe." the emmys are more prestigious than the golden globes which are more prestigious than the critics choice awards (the one they submitted him for with two other actors lol). actors get nominated and have the opportunity to get attention from social media posts, article mentions, attending the red carpet, having their name announced and a little clip of their acting shown. that's not nothing! attention from possible new fans, publications, execs, peers, producers, directors, fashion houses & other industries which could lead to $$$ and sponsorships. I won't make any presumptions about the cast's finances but I do know amc is probably not paying them their worth, least of all the bangladeshi muslim who barely had any major roles in tv/film prior to the show.
there are fees and costs associated with submitting for awards consideration and FYC ads. the network basically took a look at assad's brown skin and name and said they don't think he's worth the money over the white actor who had less screentime and narrative importance (to the season ig) which is absolutely crazy lmao. it shouldn't be controversial to say that and you can't not discuss this without bringing up sam's name. this has nothing to do with whether he "deserved" to be submitted (and even if I said he doesn't deserve it over assad who's gonna beat my ass?). this white man isn't being persecuted by conversations about blatant racism. but I'd expect nothing less from this fanbase x.
#assad zaman#i don't go here much bc this show's fandom sucks ass lmao#like yeah the show/actors probably aren't getting nominated but on the off chance they do??#amc count your days#them submitting assad for less-known-and-less-expensive-to-campaign-for CCA alongside two white actors means nothing#what it really boils down to is a global flareup of islamophobia like another reblog stated#the worst thing is watching this fandom woobify sam#& twist the words of anyone discussing it to act like shots are being taken at jacob/delainey by every single person#who says assad is experiencing a different kind of racism or any racism at all.#not to say those ppl don't exist and shouldn't be called out#but you can just tell these crusaders are painting everyone with a broad brush to stymie any criticism of amc & sam's submission.#assad experiences a different kind of racism bc he isn't black & doesn't experience the antiblack racism that jacob/delainey do#that's not an opinion or playing oppression olympics it's just a fact.#I have to read the most racist antiblack shit imaginable about jacob and delainey constantly as a bw#only for these people to throw their names around for cover & act like amc is the most moral anti-racist network for submitting them.#meanwhile a random person wouldn't even know how prominent the issue of race is within the show#with the way amc promotes it and actively prevents any discussion of race in interviews and panels.#every day fanart and posts of that decrepit white man plowing armand's delicate ass will do numbers#every day they'll bring up sam gifting assad some cheap suspenders#but crickets about any discussion of racism from those people.#can't even say shit about a white man not being deserving of something the network decided can only go to one person.#white ppl & their feelings have to be centered every fucking time even when unfair treatment is happening to their marginalized coworkers.#and now the prevailing narrative is ppl being mean to their poor meow meow sam :(#which ofc it is lmao
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gnc and butch women (cis AND trans) and transmascs are punished for performing masculinity past certain thresholds of arbitrary attractiveness because people that cishet society categorizes or clocks as 'women' are not supposed to perform masculinity. hope this helps đ
#spitblaze says things#this is the last thing im ever gonna fuckin say on the topic. im purging this stupidity from my brain once and for all with this post#there is an intersection of transphobia and misogyny here and idc what you wanna call it but to deny its existence is weird to me#transfems' hypervisibility means they have a lot of recognition but its absolutely not a privilege#transmascs' invisibility means they can stealth and fly under the radar easier which is better but not by a lot#and the assertion that nb people have to 'pick a side' so we can decide how to treat them is fucking ludicrous#there are absolutely differences in our treatment and our needs but a lot of it boils down to the same shit.#we are women when they want to deny us agency. we are men when they want to deny us support. this is true for everyone under the umbrella#and it's MEASURABLY worse when you're not white#anyway. im kinda over leftist groups who spend all their effort arguing about theory instead of doing anything in practice#so the next person who claims butch lesbians have 'masc privilege' or that transmascs dont actually face any sort of unique oppression#is getting smacked with a heavily vandalized copy of abigail schrier's Irreparable Damage#like again idgaf what you call it. you can just call it 'transphobia and misogyny' if you want im not a cop#ive just seen too many people who claim that it doesnt exist at all and im done with letting this take up brainspace#so im hanging up this sign and leaving. goodbye#i saw us go through the exact same shit with bisexuals and asexuals and gay men and frankly im not thrilled that its at my doorstep again#we go through a lot of the same shit but different populations do in fact need different kinds of support. thats it
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Lord bless Kazuma and Van Zieks. Because I just know Tusspells probably hunted them down for sport after what happened to the Professorâs waxwork model.
#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#esmeralda tusspells#barok van zieks#kazuma asogi#I just know they got the boiling pot of wax treatment.#I like to imagine she got paid for reimbursements even though the attraction was probably going to shutdown#tgaa spoilers
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Herb Guide for Warrior Cats: Epilepsy
Requested by an Anon!
A guide to providing treatment to a Warrior Cat OC with epilepsy. Still requires a bit of a leap in logic as nothing can replace our friend phenobarbital, BUT, if you would like herbs and strategies for managing a Warriorâs epilepsy, this guide is for you.
I researched herbs historically used for epilepsy, chose plants growing wild in a âcommonâ clan biome (temperate Europe and North America), and removed things that a cat could not use. Because of the nature of epilepsy, I also delved into some other treatments and strategies your medics can use!
So, keep in mind, this guide is written for a Clan doctor treating an epileptic cat. NOT from the perspective of a patient who has it.
I would recommend doing extra research into first-hand accounts of what itâs like to live with epilepsy when creating your patient character.
Disclaimer Time! I tried to filter out as much âquackeryâ as possible, but remember that I am not a vet nor do I have formal training in pharmacognacy. You are also not a vet. This is for fake battle cats. LOOK AT ME. YOU WILL NOT USE THIS ON YOURSELF OR A REAL ANIMAL.
Below the cut is:
What is epilepsy?
Diagnostics
Non-herbal treatments
Managing the different types of seizures
Preventative herbs
What is epilepsy?
âEpilepsyâ is the broad term for dozens of different disorders, resulting in recurring epileptic seizures. A warrior could be born with it, develop it over time, or get it after recovering from brain injury (stroke, infection, head trauma, etc).
Epilepsy also varies wildly, and can be so mild itâs hard to detect, or so severe it could put the cat in too much danger to do warrior duties at all. For most cases, however, the warrior would still be able to do normal tasks* as long as they donât hunt or patrol alone.
* = Head injury and stress from fighting can worsen epilepsy. Going on battle patrols is a risk the warrior must be made aware of.
Diagnostics
So before anything else, your medic will want to identify what triggers the seizures, if anything. There isnât always an identifiable trigger such as a flashing light/quickly moving object, but seizures can be made worse by stress, lack of sleep, or hunger. Taking note of the warriorâs state preceding a seizure would be extremely helpful for treatment.
Does Wheatwhisker seem to have more seizures when sheâs doing certain activities? When she has one, did she sleep well the night before? What has she been eating lately? She may be able to feel it coming-- including sudden intense emotion, an oncoming headache, hot or cold sensations, so on.
Like dogs, cats can detect oncoming seizures. A good medicine cat would take note of all the behavior before its onset to reduce their frequency.
NON-herbal treatments
Once correlation and causes have been identified, the medicine cat should have some lifestyle changes to suggest.
For example, Wheatwhisker has more seizures when she is tired, so the medic prevents her from going on dawn patrol. Theyâre sometimes triggered by the fluttering of bird wings, so sheâs been told to hunt small mammals instead.
A change in diet can also reduce the frequency of seizures. Fatty foods specifically, such as red meat, eggs, and large fish. Trout and carp would be the two easiest* things for a warrior to hunt on a regular basis-- though if the given Clan canât catch those, it may be worth it to consider trade with another group.
* = If your warriors can cook with fire, fat drippings can be cooked back into the epileptic warriorâs meals. This would make the special diet much easier to prepare than always catching specific prey.
Managing the Different Types of Seizures
Generally there are three types of seizures- ones localized to a specific body part, ones that may seem like âdaydreamingâ, and ones that cause the well-known convulsions. Less severe seizures are more common.
Seizures do not usually cause pain on their own, except for fatigue in the muscle or headaches. Injury is sometimes caused by external forces, such as slamming against something during a convulsion, falls, tongue biting, or hitting sharp objects.
After any seizure, nausea or a headache may develop-- feverfew will soothe headaches, mallow or fennel will soothe stomachaches. Even if the Epileptic warrior does not take regular medication, the cannabis and valerian root mentioned in the âpreventative herbsâ section can be taken on occasion to help the warrior relax post-seizure.
-Localized
One part of the body (leg, head) seizes or convulses. Can usually be self-managed by the warrior, loss of conscious is uncommon. Rest in a quiet area would be the best treatment afterwards. If the muscle fatigue is bad, kneading the limb will help.
-Daydream
The warrior will seem suddenly âabsent,â like theyâve left their body, for typically less than 15 seconds. They may simply wobble and stare ahead (even pausing mid-sentence), or seem to âfaintâ and fall over, but in any case they will not remember the seizure. Prevent them from falling on something dangerous, if this seems likely.
In many cases the warrior will just be able to keep going about their day in a few minutes, or even immediately. If not, just like before, let them rest in a quiet area.
-Convulsions
A panicked cat may make convulsions worse by fearfully running around as a seizure starts-- if a warrior MUST be prevented from doing this, itâs VERY important that they are not completely pinned or restrained. JUST kept laying down. Do NOT attempt to stop the convulsions themselves.
Such a circumstance will be extremely rare in a Warrior Cat setting, where the cats are capable of reasoning like a human. There may be a situation where an epileptic cat needs to be brought out of harmâs way-- thatâs fine.
Clear the area of anything sharp or hard that the convulsing warrior could hurt themselves on, like stones, or brambles. Roll them onto their side, if they arenât already. Lastly, cushion their head with something soft, like moss, if possible.
After the seizure is over, the warrior will probably be disoriented and confused. Donât overwhelm them or offer food or water until theyâre fully alert again. Once they do, they might have partial paralysis, nausea, muscle soreness, a bitten tongue, or any variety of symptoms. Just like before, bring them to a quiet area to rest.
If your warriors wear restrictive accessories, such as belts or collars, the medicine cat will remove or loosen them during a seizure if possible.
-what NOT to do
Thereâs some harmful ideas out there you may have encountered, so hereâs some things to keep in mind your medics would NOT do to treat a cat having convulsions:
They would NOT pin them down (this even happened in the books once yikes) Why: This could cause injury to both the restrained, and the restrainer.
They would NOT put anything in their mouth Why: Could damage their teeth or jaw, it does not prevent them from biting their tongue. (also; while tongue biting is common, it is a total myth that an epileptic will choke on/swallow it)
They would NOT start firing out questions as soon as the seizure is over Why: The warrior will likely be disoriented, and not in a state to answer properly. Give them a minute.
Preventative Herbs
Once a seizure is happening, it will have to play out. Warrior cats do not have the medical capability to stop one once started. The anticonvulsant herbs here will help to reduce the frequency and severity of seizures... but they canât eliminate them entirely.
Anticonvulsants will need to be taken on a regular basis. Stopping these suddenly will cause dangerous side effects; if the warriorâs epilepsy isnât severe, or herbs are a scarcity for your Clan, it may not be the best choice to medicate them.
Chamomile
Common, and naturalized all over the world. In high doses, this herb will poison a cat. Careful preparation is required to make it safe for the epileptic warrior-- it needs to be steeped in water, like tea*. The leaves should not be eaten.
* = If your cats donât have fire to brew tea, thatâs fine, it can be soaked cold.
This herb also has a side effect of drowsiness. It may make the warrior lethargic and less responsive.
Cannabis
Cannabis is a golden herb for a thousand reasons, it can be made into rope, paper, cloth, oil... but, the thing of note here is CBD oil. Cannabis grows wild all over the world, but ESPECIALLY in North America-based Clans (where itâs called Ditchweed)
Ditchweed has high CBD content, and low THC content. This makes it safe for your warriors (and also prevents them from getting high). Your cats will NOT smoke it, which will damage their sensitive respiratory systems, they will eat it like a standard herb.
Because cannabis is a depressant, this treatment is best for warriors not involved in active tasks. Epileptic warriors that prefer calm, camp-related activities will use this herb. Den-building, tunnel digging, helping the medics, crafting if your Clan makes accessories, so on.
Valerian Root
Known as a sleep aid in humans, Valerian has VERY interesting effects on cats; this is the only Epilepsy treatment that can avoid lethargy entirely. However, in contrast to cannabis, valerian will mostly be found in Europe-based Clans.
(with both, however, it is possible to find each in the other continent.)
Valerian Root has catnip-like effects, perking a warrior up and often filling them with energy. There are some cats for whom this herb will act like cannabis, calming them down, but if thereâs a choice, the Epileptic warriors who enjoy active tasks will prefer this herb. Hunting, fighting, patrolling, so on.
#If you know something about epilepsy that I missed please let me know!#I'll add it right away#Especially if you have epilepsy or help someone else manage it#I don't have anyone epileptic in my life so I just tried to do good research#I also tried to boil it down to the simplest terms possible with the idea it's a practical OC writing guide in mind#So that's the reason I didn't explain cluster seizures or what a grand mal is; or primary vs#-secondary epilepsy. I tried to avoid putting too many terms into it.#Focused on treatment alone#Clan Culture#Clan Herbs#Warrior cats#Herb guide#Seizures#Epilepsy
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Okay but the way swords in danmei often represent/are associated with manhood and masculinity and the way hensheng is a soft sword and a sneaky weapob could very well represent JGY's position as "lesser" for his origins as a prostitute's son.
Like the way JGY is treated, in lack of better wording, as a woman, throughout the whole novel, (see: the way he's held up to higher standarts than everyone else, the way his standing will plummet with a single whiff of sex relating to him, the way he has to protect himself and take preemptive measures against everyone and everything and most of the time he's right)
I feel it kind of ties onto the way hensheng works, as an assassin's weapon, as something that doesn't require strenght per se, as something hidden easily, etc, and the fact that it's a soft swordâ soft as women and JGY are expected to be, soft as they have to be to survive, but deathly nonethelesss
Idk. I'm just very into swords and very into the subtle themes of emasculation around JGY's character
#also fyi i have little to no knowledge of mandarin or chinese culture#this analysis is from a western lens#there's also the traditionally feminine role jgy has on the story#and the way he's hated in fandom#which really feels like hated female villain treatment that imo stems a lot from mysoginy#jin guangyao#jin guangyao meta#feral little meowyao#hensheng#sword symbolism#also ramble ramble#but the way jgy kill jgs really feels like a textbook female rage#like anger that's been endured and repressed for years#boiling over in the most horrific and vengeful way#hmmm#meta#analysis#character analysis#/drags hands through face#someone put me down please
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yknow. sometimes when i see anti posts i just sit here and think âdamn. you would not have gotten Jenniferâs Bodyâ
#billy hargrove#like. my loves⌠theres this thing called nuance#and that is what makes billy a complex and compelling characters whether you like it or not#someone can be both victim and villain. there is this thing called grey area and those things do overlap#and the audience is SUPPOSED to feel conflicted over the treatment of these characters#im just sitting here shaking the bars of my cage like MY LOVES. HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY#the duffers arent good writers. but you can practically place a 1:1 of billy and jennifer#AND THE POINT OF JENNIFERâS CHARACTER IS THAT SHES FUCKED UP AND STILL DESERVED BETTER. THAT SHE WAS NAIVE AND DESERVED TO GROW#BUT THE CHANCE WAS TAKEN FROM HER AND SHE WAS TURNED INTO A MONSTER. BILLY IS THE SAME. LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY#I THINK THIS IS LOST ON YOU AND IM NOT SURE THERES MUCH ANYONE CAN DO FOR YOU FROM HERE#like. good lord. ive seen people straight up deny that hes complex and boil his plot in s3 down to excusing racism and just-#NO. THAT- ITS- NO!! THIS IS A JENNIFERâS BODY SITUATION#im âscratching at the walls here guys#anyway im normal again now. i just had strong feelings for a sec#anyway. jenniferâs body au? thoughts?#actually also rip billy hargrove. you wouldve loved jenniferâs body
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god yeah scar was trying to kill people very hard but he really was fixated on trying to kill grian with those tnt minecarts he just kept dropping over and over. like with everyone else he just tried the minecart or mining the block underneath them and if it didnt work he just left them alone and went after someone else but he was like DETERMINED to kill grian with the tnt minecart. erm.
#that one shitpost i made w scar with the ''theres a lot of rage boiling under my skin ready to burst out of my chest but im a chill guy''#post is so real.......... hes acting all silly and goofy as always but then with the lowkey passive aggressive reference to grian's#treatment of him in double life and then this...#i think he definitely was affected a lot more by everything than he appears on the surface..........#which i mean. thats how he always is. just think of the cheating stuff in double life even when confronting grian about it he acted all#passive aggressive and didnt ever actually like get Angry at him yknow#god how i want him to just hit a breaking point and go totally apeshit#serena.txt#limited life#goodtimeswithscar#grian#desertduo
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I'm trying to articulate a thought: while a moral reading of a text is necessary and I'd say unavoidable, a judgement of a text cannot begin and end in its value as a didactic piece for teaching morality to the reader (or reinforcing their sense of moral selves).
This doesn't mean people should read books that make apology of things the person finds morally or psychologically repulsive, just because there's some artistic value in them anyways.
But I have seen people for whom reading (and engaging with media in general) becomes a moral race in which their enjoyment of literature must be thoroughly justified by the -often only superficially ascertained- moral value of the themes and lessons of the text, and for whom the things they read are a letter of presentation of the moral principles they spouse.
In other words, instead of the moral principles of the person delineating the framework through which they approach the text, it is a checklist of things the text must explicitly contain in order to be seen as having any worth at all.
Which is a rather sad and superficial way to engage with things.
#Pick say Dracula#to mention a book I disliked#yes part of my dislike is the treatment of Mina's character and also the approach of the lower class characters and the foreigner danger#But also the book has a very strong promising first half that quickly descends into idiot ball convenience so that Mina can get bitten#And it goes downhill from there#I can understand why people enjoy the novel#And also point out the futility and delusion of trying to say that Bram Stoker had a feminist and inclusive perspective of women#The book can be written by an author that doesn't care about women and it bleeds through the text#and you still can derive enjoyment of the interesting concepts characters and dynamics in it#That won't make you a bad person you don't need to force the text into being PureTM#The other way around#yes War and Peace features two adult men falling in love with a young teenage girl and that's yikesy#But it's also a story about how she represents life#and the way their relationship with life creates a contrast and a reflection about the meaning of life and love#Is this a good treatment of Natasha? No!#Does that mean that the whole book is bad because Tolstoy was a bad husband and in general not good to women? Also no!#So yeah it boils down to#you can enjoy quote unquote problematic media and be a good person#Your reading list does not define your morality#The way you engage with the text on the other hand yes can tell things about what you believe and the principles that direct your behavior
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going through a moral conundrum that i don't know what to do about for the 17263627th time
on one hand i feel obligated to help my mother by staying in her home for financial reasons and keep talking myself out of leaving bc i feel guilty. on the other hand she's repeatedly violated my boundaries and very obviously doesn't respect them when i'm not around (like having people sit on my couch/use my personal shit while i'm away, when i've asked her to keep her guests downstairs regardless of how they're related to me).
and now the latest in that series is sending my cousin to inspect the house - when i wasn't home, without my permission or consent - because i'm not talking to her rn and i'm pretty fucking mad at everyone involved. (and i know this happened bc i came home one day and lights were on that i didn't leave on etc.) and it just feels so violating.
and as much as i hate moving idk how much longer i can keep snapping my last straws because i've been on the brink for this entire year. and i knowwwww that i can't fully heal until i'm out of this deeply codependent situation with somebody who has made it clear she doesn't respect me as a human being. but man i really don't know what the right choice is here.
#at this point i think i'm removing my entire family from my life now#shitty that my cousin continues to do these things bc it's a way for my mom to evade my boundaries bc it's âher houseâ#meanwhile i'm the tenant paying the bills and if this were a legally binding situation i could sue the shit out of her#it just disturbs me that no one in my family can see how inappropriate and downright degrading the treatment of me is#really it boils down to wishing someone would tell me what the right choice is so i don't feel so fucking bad#about having my own desires that are Not This :')
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Got to eat Mexican food today. Papa asada â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
#potatoes#potato post#boiling potato#food#foodie#food photography#foodmyheart#healthy food#tw food#foodlover#treatment#treats#eat food#im happy#im so happy#mexican#mexican food#op is a proshipper
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.
#i told my roommate's psychologist father about how my therapist broke up with me via text without providing referrals#and he says that was really poor treatment and is called ''abandonment'' in the field and my response was ''it's fine im used to it''#so um. IM FINE LATELY. apparently. i have an appt with a prospective new therapist next week lmao#like her communication with me had totally fallen off as well and im screaming about it internally a little bc like#i knew this was not kosher but i was blaming myself for having slow progress#which like. no shit i was having alow progress she was cancelling on me every other week.#but oh no said my inner voice no she doesn't want to keep treating you because you're stuck. it's a you problem#like i understand that she was Going Through It but like she's the professional in this situation#i have sympathy but i also feel really hard done by#she basically ghosted me#and im just frog in a slow boiling pot (yes i know that's not real) every time im in a less than ideal situation where i should stand up#for myself bc im so ready to blame myself for the way im being treated and so afraid of retaliation if i speak up that it just happens to m#and i don't even know it until it's done with#and someone else points it out. or like i know it but i haven't allowed myself to be conscious of it yet.#it just makes me so mad that im like this bc what it means is that i tried so many times growing up to voice#things that were not okay with me and i was shut down so often and so dismissively that eventually i just#decided everything was my fault and became passive so i couldn't mess anything up
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I can't watch anything about supernatural with a straight face anymore. how did we let them get away with those plot points. at one point dean literally plans on keeping michael the archangel in his head and paying some random dude to charter a boat to throw him into the middle of the pacific ocean. sam has a whole breakdown about this.
#he actually says 'splash'#we shouldve given them the riverdale treatment but the motherfuckers boiling frogged us
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