#treated a lot differently and Im not saying their disabilities or disorders are the same im just saying that like me a lot of people really | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jechristine · 2 years ago

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As someone who also grew up and still struggles with a learning disability, I just wish there was another word for anti intellectualism. Maybe Tom, also having a disability, experienced similar situations that I did growing up where a parental figure, any number of teachers, and classmates and co-workers and even friends had all at one point stressed or suggested to me that I was dumb or slow. I think when you grow up like that, you feel like you can’t enter higher learning without going through that painful experience all over again. You don’t want to. You want to play to your strengths that are usually not by the book. And you want to distance yourself from people who you perceive would look down on you for your disability. I apreciate this conversation and everyone’s views, but I also think there’s a really big part of the convo missing when I (and Im guessing many others with conditions like dyslexia or adhd or processing disorders) have been seen and labeled as ‘not intellectual or smart’ for all my life.

So basically what I’m saying is that when we look down on anti intellectualism (which is a huge topic so I hope it doesnt seem like im generalizing), there are some more deep reasoning for why some people may seem like they’re not welcome in more intellectual spaces. There is ableist gatekeeping in those communities, there is impatience from some more intellectually driven people towards people with learning disabilities when they don’t get something on the first try. It’s so easy to get discouraged and demoralized.

I’m so sorry for the couple paragraphs here that probably repeats a lot, but this topic brings up a lot for me, and I want to stress that I myself am not anti intellectual, I’m just anti people who treat others with different brain wiring like they have nothing to offer. And while I for sure don’t want to speak for Tom, just from what he’s shared made me relate in the past. I want to hope he hasn’t run into ableism in Hollywood, but no doubt he has. And I know him calling himself stupid is seen as self-depreciating humor, but honestly no dude, you’re not, it’s just that your brain is wired different. I don't think he just woke up one day and started calling himself stupid, he heard it somewhere else first.

It took me a long time to unbrand my own self-perception as stupid and tell myself that my brain is just wired different. There are other kinds of smart that aren't book smart. And I’m still working on pushing back against what I still hear from others when, now grown up and out of the school system, I struggle at work. I think to sum it all up - it’s important to examine why some people might not feel safe or welcome in self-proclaimed intellectual spaces. For some people it can be way way more than just ‘no complex thought here I refuse’. It’s kind of a systemic issue that starts when you’re young, and those insecurities stick.

Got much longer than I planned and I hope those line breaks worked so its not just a really long block of text (if it is apologies). Also wanted to note I'm not really responding to anything very speicific that someone said, it's more responding to the general conversation I've read in here, the blanket use of the term of intellectualism, and also maybe why higher education just isnt a comfortable space for some people to continue learning.

Thank you so much for sharing, Anon.

I think to sum it all up - it’s important to examine why some people might not feel safe or welcome in self-proclaimed intellectual spaces. For some people it can be way way more than just ‘no complex thought here I refuse’. It’s kind of a systemic issue that starts when you’re young, and those insecurities stick.

In my life I work with many students with IEPs and learning differences, and I do understand. Smart/stupid are not intrinsic facts, anyhow, and even if they were that isn’t the same spectrum as intellectual/anti-intellectual, as least as I see it. But the above excerpt shows how those perceived spectrums overlap.

For me, intellectualism is about being curious about history and other cultures and what people with acquired expertise have said and thought, and it’s about always asking how and why about everything. Universities are special, luxurious places where those things can be given time and space to flourish, but they aren’t perfect and people can be terrible, so I take your point that higher ed can be uncomfortable.

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obeiii-mee · 4 years ago

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Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!

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This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)

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The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:

Lucifer:

-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived

-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable

-Not to mention all the treatment you would require

-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there

-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake

-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair

-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house

-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs

-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year

-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis

-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)

-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break

-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom

-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you

-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you

-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case

-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears

-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you

-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back

-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare

-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha

-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay

-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need

-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol

Mammon:

-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first

-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human

-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”

-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that

-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for

-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?

-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though

-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around

-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN

-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it

-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am

-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions

-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:

-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”

-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh

-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs

-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad

-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”

-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too

-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving

-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad

-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”

-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones

-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often

Levi:

-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom

-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year

-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot

-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often

-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you

-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him

-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”

-“The answer is no Leviathan.”

-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“

-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around

-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all

-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch

-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him

-Usually left out by other people, ignored even

-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself

-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking

-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’

-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)

-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !

-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven

-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans

-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being

-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure

-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol

-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it

-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-

-OK Levi, sit back down

-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything

-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room

-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe

Satan:

-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense

-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)

-He’s a smart boy, alright?

-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you

-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get

-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰

-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way

-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)

-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help

-But in a subtle way...?

-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside

-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here

-He wants to know how your wheelchair works

-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before

-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself

-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like

-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon

-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain

-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish

-But when others purposefully try harming you?

-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage

-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings

-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything

-You’re strong and he knows this

-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you

-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing

Asmo:

-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life

-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way

-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time

-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around

-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual

-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get

-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go

-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously

-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you

-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together

-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”

-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes

-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room

-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day

-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times

-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not

-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life

-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries

-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career

-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)

-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(

Beel:

-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances

-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is

-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius

-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?

-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around

-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(

-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way

-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so

-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best

-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him

-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help

-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’

-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most

-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”

-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound

-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt

-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do

-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough

-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times

-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself

-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation

-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair

-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what

Belphie:

-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak

-It didn’t matter that you had a disability

-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him

-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first

-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs

-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all

-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby

-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer

-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you

-Do not let him push you around

-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls

-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off

-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that

-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole

-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him

-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not

-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer

-But he doesn’t care

-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there

-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD

-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over

-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”

-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”

-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often

-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house

-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌

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Al~

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #om #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #paraplegia #⭐️ requests #🕯 general #☂️ demon brothers

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watercolormogai · 2 years ago

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hi sorry for the mini vent but i'm so tired of having to say i'm pro para because like... imagine it had to be that way with any other disability. "yeah i'm pro autism." "i'm pro bpd" it sounds so fucking stupid. i don't know if i make sense but what i'm trying to say is that it sucks we have to treat paraphilias differently than any other disability or disorder or mental illness. i hope this doesn't come across as like anti-para or anything im bad with words lmfao

honestly ? v feel the same way

it sucks to have vy disorders painted as so horrible and disgusting , no one would actually ever support them except fake troll accounts . it sucks that theres basically no community (besides the radqueer community , but v'm clearly not in that) where there are a lot of people who understand and accept it . even people who "accept" it go on to talk about how "harmful paraphilias" are gross and immoral and only the "non-harmful kinks people pretend are paraphilias" are good and okay .

it absolutely sucks that v have to repeatedly say that v'm pro-para and still have people have no idea what paraphilias actually are and be against them because of that . like you said , nobody has to do that with any other disability , and even when people put "people who believe in narc abuse" on their DNIs there is really no one in the mogai community who is actually like that . meanwhile paraphiles are constantly painted as so incredibly horrible and wrong that people literally side with TERFs and call bigots "better" for not supporting paraphiles .

a lot of the anti-para shit in the community comes from people not actually understanding what paraphilias are or how they work . if v try to say "well someone with BPD isn't inherently violent and abusive because of their violent thoughts , and paraphiles aren't either" , v'm told that v'm ableist and a horrible person for daring to compare two disorders . if v try to say "people think you can cure being attracted to the same gender , but you obviously can't , so it's not very hard to understand that you can't cure being attracted to a child or an animal" , v get called homophobic and harassed for daring to say that pure innocent gay people are even slightly similar to the gross awful pedos . people who hate something are never just going to see one post and then suddenly change . they aren't going to see a hundred posts and even think about changing . a lot of ableists have said that even if it was their best friend who came out as a paraphile , theyd tell them to kill themself . so the lack of knowledge and understanding is going to take a long , long time to change , as absolutely frustrating as that is .

(plus , the fact that people think that any attraction to minors is pedophilia . that is not true and one of the main reasons why v feel the urge to punch anyone who says "i call maps pedophiles because thats what they really are!!!" because no you idiot map means any attraction to minors and pedophilia is only towards prepubescent children . the terms hebephilia , nepiophilia , ephebophilia , etc exist for a reason .)

it absolutely sucks to have to repeatedly say "yes , v support all disabled and neurodivergent people , yes including paraphiles they are still neurodivergent / disordered" . it should be basic common sense that all disabled and neurodivergent people are wonderful and amazing and your disorder doesnt make you a bad person , but for some reason it isnt . it constantly makes ve frustrated and angry because people choose to believe the media and hate paraphiles instead of just listening and understanding . having to say that v'm pro-para over and over is incredibly frustrating and makes ve just wanna hit things because oh vy gods why cant people just stop being so fucking ableist , but as frustrating as it is v know it's not going to change and until then we will just have to keep saying it over and over until people start understanding .

paraphiles being treated as "worse than" or "different" than other disorders is stupid and just ableism . no disorder is "worse than" any other . every disorder is morally neutral no matter what . if a paraphile hurts someone else , it is not "someone abused me because theyre a paraphile" it is "someone abused me becuse theyre a bad person" . "pedophilic abuse" is no more real than "narc abuse" . if an adult grooms a child , they are a predator , and actually that vast majority of predators are not pedophiles at all and the vast majority of pedophiles never groom / abuse anyone , so they probably arent even a pedophile . "dont armchair diagnose anyone" includes calling someone a pedophile because they hurt a child . dont call your abuser a narcissist because they probably werent and even if they were they didnt hurt you because of their npd they hurt you because they were an abuser . it is the same with paraphiles . treating paraphiles as "different" or "inherently wrong" only pushes them further and further away from any sort of help they may want to find and leads them to hurt themselves and others .

sorry that v kinda went off on a rant , but v have A Lot of opinions about this , as you can probably tell lol

#long post #watercolor asks #not coining #ableism cw

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baby-honeyy · 3 years ago

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I'm tired of non-disabled, non-neurdivergent, nosy ass busy bodies telling me that the way I interact with my friends means im being infantilized

Like ,I really appreciate it when people ask things like "did you remember to eat today?" "Did you remember to take your medicine?"

And I like when my friend is making us lunch and she remembers the things that I find hard to eat so she leaves them out or she makes sure none of my food touches.

And when we go out to eat I appreciate when my friends are willing to order for me so I dont have to try and talk to a stranger.

I like when people I care about help me and a lot of the time that makes outsiders think I like being infantilized

But there's a difference between someone believing i am incapable of taking care of myself and someone knowing that I struggle with certain things and making sure I have support when I need it.

I can forget to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my hair, and take my medicine. I have dissociative and depressive episodes that make it difficult to remember to do these things sometimes and It helps when someone reminds me.

I have sensory issues and a lot of them center around texture, textures of certain foods can and will make me physically sick. Mixing certain textures or having certain food touching and mixing together have the same effect. It helps when whoever is cooking remembers this so I dont have to try and navigate the problem without being rude.

I also have ptsd and anxiety, these disorders make it more difficult to talk to strangers, some days are easier than others but it helps to know that someone would be willing to talk for me if I needed them to.

Even though I struggle through life this does not mean I cant take care of myself. I have been taking care of myself for nearly 20 years. Just because I appreciate and want help doesn't mean I am incapable of functioning.

I dont like being infantilized and I dont need strangers yelling at my friends for helping me.

Basically mind your own damn business

This isnt about anyone on this app just btw, its about a fake woke 25 year old waitress in an applebees who saw my friend order for me and decided that she'd try to play "good Samaritan" and ignored my friend to ask me multiple times for my order, escalating the situation by then accusing my friend of abuse when they tried to explain the situation because I was too anxious to talk

Its about the person who was invited to our friends-giving who saw another friend of mine make my plate (because I was helping set the dessert table) and made a Comment about how he was making sure my mashed potatoes didn't touch my bread and how he put the corn in a separate bowl so it didn't make any of my other food soggy. This person decided that it was weird that my friend would do this for me and even weirder that I had these eating habits, they compared me to a spoiled child.

This is about everyone who has ever seen someone remind me to do something and told them that I could take care of myself and then got upset when I explained that yes I can but its nice to have help. The people who accuse me of being ableist and say that I encourage my friends to treat disabled people like babies.

I am a person who hasn't had much help before now and now that I do have help im not going to reject it just so some random fuckheads can feel like they saved the day

Assuming I dont understand my friends behavior or actions is assuming I'm too dumb or naive to stand up for myself and technically thats a form of infantilization so go fuck yourself

#vent post #ptsd #dissociation #anxiety #ableism #infantilization #im just trying not to cry you guys #if you try to convince me that my friends are infantilizing me im going to tell you that you need to fuck off #/nbh

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thatsnicebutimmarried · 3 years ago

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I find it so interesting how you and i have such different views on our adhd. You usually say you don’t like how some people frame it as a superpower and i always feel a little weird when people remind me that it’s technically a disability.

Both of them are valid takes though, because yeah it kinda IS a bit of a devastating disorder sometimes, but at the same time a lot of the people in my life want to take that as an excuse to treat me like im an invalid (like the old timey term not the modern use). So if i don’t tell myself that my adhd makes me the baddest bitch on the block i might not have the confidence to tell those people to kindly fuck off.

It’s such a complicated world we live in where it’d all be so much easier if society just rewired itself completely to be less ableist! /s

This ask wasn’t meant to discourage you from adding to those adhd posts i reblog btw! I just thought it was interesting that you have a lot to say on a subject matter I relate to while also having an almost complete opposite approach to it.

I'm sorry I'm just now answering this; I have absolutely no idea when you sent it to me because of course tumblr doesn't tell me how old this ask is, just that it exists. This ended up being an insanely long answer where I rambled a lot about how I relate to these ideas and feel about them and why and how I also think it is interesting that we can have such different (yet valid!) reactions to some of the same ideas about a disorder we both have. Put it all under a read more because uhhh I wrote a lot, because ADHD also means I am incapable of being concise (but it also means I can be super thorough!)

It is interesting, and like, yeah, they are both totally valid and how you view these things is so dependent upon your own experience with it and how people have treated you.

I am not totally against the idea that ADHD is kinda like a superpower, because I will totally agree that there are some cool things about it. I can multi-task in ways other people are baffled by, because my brain is so used to focusing on multiple things at once. Hyperfocus can be a gift as often as it can be a curse. I probably would be a creative person with or without the ADHD but it feels like my mind's tendency to wonder has helped with that.

If I could magically get rid of my depression and anxiety, I'd do it. In a heartbeat. But with ADHD, I'd choose to keep it, because it feels the most intertangled with my personality and who I am as a person. (Maybe I'd see about trading in the Executive Dysfunction and the lack of dopamine upon task completion.)

I definitely think the pros of ADHD should be celebrated, absolutely. I don't want people to think that an ADHD diagnosis means their life is over or for parents to freak out if their kid is diagnosed and demand another explanation. Those things just hurt us all in the long run.

I think the thing that bothers me is when I see ADHD touted as if it is ONLY a superpower. Or like, treated like instead of being in any way a disorder, it is just a "different way of thinking", and that all the issues are just societal, and if we fixed society to be less ableist all the problems would go away. And yeah, there is a lot of validity to the social model of disability. My life gets infinitely easier to deal with when I stop trying to keep to a neurotypical idea of what organization looks like. I'm so much better at putting my dirty clothes in the hamper in the bathroom closet instead of making a pile beside my bed since we moved from our old apartment (where I had to walk around the bed, open the bathroom door, open a french door, open the hamper, and put my clothes in) to our current townhouse (where I walk two feet from my side of the bed to the bathroom door, open bathroom door, immediately open closet door, toss clothes in open hamper). Such a small change and yet the elimination of obstacles means I actually do it.

My time management doesn't look like other people's. It never will. But I also can't imagine there is any society that could ever feasibly exist, especially in my lifetime, where all the social problems that clash with my ADHD are solved and I could just live my life like I didn't have any sort of disorder.

Maybe I'm especially sensitive to this because I've spent most of the last two years kinda left to my own devices, able to create my own schedule, and not necessarily having the outside world pressing on me to fit certain ideas of productivity or organization or functionality, but I still have struggled immensely to be productive or organized or functional even to my own standards. I need more willpower and motivation than I have to create a world for myself within the freedom of my own home and schedule where I take care of myself and keep my home clean and organized and do the things I need to do and also do the things I want to do, and live up to the creative aspirations I have. If I lived in a world that basically let my ADHD take over and dictate my life, even if I was still medicated, I would have the most messed up sleep schedule, I'd spend too much time hyperfocusing on the hyperfixation du jour, I would end up neglecting my own health, I'd live in squalor as would everyone around me, and I would lose all impulse control and never finish the things that I really want to do. Maybe the world wouldn't judge me for those things, and maybe society would be okay with my taking a year to finish a project that really should only take me a couple weeks. Maybe my badass Animal Crossing island would be enough for society to deem me a worthy member of society. But I can't picture a world where I get both the freedom from difficult things like deadlines and precise appointments that need to be remembered and kept, AND the routine and structure and support I need to live up to my potential, even if that means I need those uncomfortable things like deadlines and fires lit under my ass because to my brain, if it isn't on fire it doesn't exist.

So I guess these hot takes where ADHD is theorized to be something that started as like an evolutionary advantage and that if we just put people with ADHD and ASD in the right situations they will naturally flourish and thrive strike me as dismissive of the problems that come with those disorders even in the best possible circumstances, because at the end of the day, our brains don't do certain things that brains are supposed to do. And it can be downright crippling at times. And because I have experienced a lot of people who are dismissive of ADHD in general, that's the thing that irks me.

I'm aware that as a girl, I am DAMN LUCKY to have been diagnosed at age 9, even though my brother was diagnosed at the same time I was, and he was only 5. Because he had the super-energetic hyperactivity so his ADHD was recognized as soon as he started school. Whereas my hyperactivity presents in the form of a brain that has never known a quiet moment in my whole life. The average age for diagnosis in boys is age 7; for girls it is age 12. And that, I assume, is the modern case. I was diagnosed in 2000. A time when many pediatricians were still questioning if girls even GOT ADHD. And I was actually diagnosed with ADD, while my brother was diagnosed with ADHD. I took offense for a long time to the combination of those two disorders into one under the heading of ADHD, because I saw the fundamental difference of the hyperactivity. It wasn't until a few years ago that it occured to me that the different types maybe shouldn't be 1. Inattentive without Hyperactivity and 2. Inattention with Hyperactivity. Girls are more likely to be diagnosed with Type 1 and boys with Type 2. But someone on tumblr pointed out that girls still often present some type of hyperactivity, but instead of literally bouncing off the walls the way boys do, we are often talkative, or, as in my case, I haven't known a quiet moment in my brain since birth. So I'd say maybe we need ADHD: Type 1: Inattentiveness with Mental Hyperactivity and Type 2: Inattentiveness with Physical Hyperactivity.

I was lucky I had a good pediatrician who prescribed me Adderall XR. My mom wasn't against me being medicated. My dad, who ALSO has ADHD, was fine with giving my brother his adderall because something had to stop him from literally bouncing off the walls. But because my ADHD was quieter, less obviously disruptive to others, my dad wouldn't give me my adderall when I went to his house, because he believed that it would ruin the good parts of ADHD for me. I had to start keeping track of my meds and take my adderall secretly on my own when I went to his house. I still deal with people who seem to think that adderall and ritalin are basically just used to get hyper kids to calm down, and that ADHD was and is over-diagnosed and too many doctors prescribe adderall to kids who don't need it. I had this conversation recently with my father in law. Are there cases where doctors prescribe stimulants to kids to help them "calm down" even if those kids DON'T have ADHD? Yeah, it probably happens sometimes. If the parents are super pushy and insistent about it. But I doubt any decent doctor is going to prescribe a STIMULANT, an AMPHETAMINE, to a kid who doesn't have ADHD to calm them down, since if you don't actually HAVE ADHD, those medications are absolutely NOT going to calm you down. If the meds did help the kids calm down, then they did have ADHD and it wasn't a wrong prescription.

My dad for years didn't believe that I could have enough struggles with my ADHD to need medication for it. That instead of losing my creativity on medication, I could actually finally channel and focus it. I've spent so much of my life trying to get people around me to recognize the ways that ADHD exists in my life and the lives of others who have it, to recognize that it is so much more than hyperactivity or "not being able to focus". That no, I can't give you some of my adderall, because 1. I fucking need it, and 2. it's extended release, so if you take it you won't sleep for three days. I've had too many people downplay the seriousness of ADHD's impact, and/or exalt the good things of ADHD and pretend like the steps ADHDers take to manage our disorder (including medication) are going to take away ADHD's benefits and make us too normal and boring or something like that. Or turn us into zombies. Or all that crap. I guess I have always been aware of the benefits of ADHD, and it has been a part of my life since I was so young that I have never had to question whether or not it is a part of me that I would keep if given the choice.

But I have had to fight to get it recognized as a disorder. A real, valid thing that I live with and have to bend my life around in order to do the things that come easy to everyone else. I think people treating ADHD like it is a superpower and like, ONLY a superpower (save for those times when icky ableist society expects us to do things a certain way) is just kind of triggering for me. So often it feels like these studies or positivity posts are trying so hard to celebrate the positive things about ADHD that they just pretend the negative things don't exist. Like, they act like ADHD is Captain Marvel's superpowers. And society is that little chip thing that keeps her from being able to access the full strength of her powers, so, in her words, "I've been fighting with one hand tied behind my back." Like if society could change and we could get in the right position and rip that little disk off our neck, we'd be fully-powered Carol Danvers.

I don't want to sound like I am against any and all ADHD positivity. We need plenty of that, too. Hell, I even need reminding occasionally that for all the shit my disorder puts me through, it's why I can sit down and hyperfocus on a project for 7 straight hours sometimes.

I guess I just want balance. I don't want so much focus on the negative that people are just discouraged and feel like it's impossible to live a happy, healthy, productive life with ADHD. I don't want us to stop celebrating that, yeah, it takes me four hours of fucking around in the morning before I can get anything done, but once I've done that and sit down to work, I will forget the rest of the world exists until I either finish, hit a roadblock so big I burnout and lose steam, or someone reminds me that I need to eat to live. But I also want to acknowledge that we have to be reminded to eat sometimes. That these superpowers have tradeoffs.

ADHD is less like Captain Marvel's powers and more like...vampirism. Like, vampires can fly, and live forever without aging, and turn into bats, and hypnotize people, and maybe sparkle, etc, (depending on what version of myths you want to go with), and like, that's all cool stuff and sounds like a pretty sweet gig. But you also can't go out in sunlight or it'll kill you, and garlic and holy water are deadly, and you can only subsist on blood and maybe have to kill to survive. And those tradeoffs kinda suck.

Idk, I guess I just would like more ADHD positivity that doesn't center on treating ADHD like it isn't ever a negative thing. Disorders and disabilities are not inherently dirty things. It's a different kind of life with different challenges and different advantages. But trying to reframe these things as if they are never negative just further demonizes and dirties the idea of disorders and disabilities. It's like, "Having a disorder is BAD and UGLY and DIRTY and STIGMATIZED. So let's talk about ADHD like it isn't a disorder! It's just a Difference!" Because that just...keeps making "disorder" the bad guy. People with disorders and disabilities don't need to be told we don't actually have a disorder or disability; we just need support for those disorders and disabilities, and for it not to be a "bad, ugly, dirty" thing to have disorders and disabilities.

I want it to be okay to just have a disorder or disability. It doesn't make us any less, it just means that sometimes we need additional support or help. Sometimes it even comes with benefits.

I want to see ADHD positivity that doesn't rely on invalidating this disorder as a disorder, in order to make it positive. I'm not saying we always have to take time to focus on the negative, I just can't vibe with ADHD positivity that focuses on making it seem like the negatives don't exist and ADHD is only ever a superpower. I've struggled too much to get the support I need for the non-superpower parts of ADHD to see any part of ADHD invalidated.

ADHD is a superpower with drawbacks. It's a disorder with benefits. We're neurodivergent, and that's okay.

I've been rambling for long enough now that I don't remember if I've made the points I was trying to make. But uhh idk maybe this explains how I feel about this and why?

Because basically, ADHD positivity, heck yeah! ADHD positivity that depends on treating ADHD as a superpower disguised as a disorder? Uh...no thank you. Can it not be at least a little of both?

#i didn't mean for this to be so long #adhd #i hope this made sense #and didn't feel like i was attacking anyone #because i'm not trying to #different strokes for different folks y'know?#like i hope i never come off as trying to rain on people's parade #i get why different experiences would lead to feeling different ways about this #and i've been struggling with managing my adhd in some huge ways the last couple years #which is especially hard on me because i had managed so well for so many years #i hope we all get the support and positivity that we need

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bitch-in-a-bag · 3 years ago

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can we talk about how the LGBT movement has changed in the past 15 years?

in the light of the events surrounding Chris chan, and people prioritizing pronouns over the rape of a woman with dementia, I think it displays just how... different things are.

i personally feel like it's been co-opted by the more loud and entitled mtfs/ males/penis-havers/whatever pc term exists for the XY chromosome'd, who go too far and aren't reasonably kept in check. I think terf no longer has meaning anymore because it's just become a word we use to silence anyone that disagrees with a trans woman. immediately you're going to call me a terf, I accept that, but please continue reading. I may suprise you. calling someone who's transgender a terf is kinda messed up anyway, and that's exactly why im writing this.

I also think that everyone else (allies, ftms, etc) have followed suit because they've written this messed up narrative that EvErYoNe iS VaLiD. except for trans penis-havers, bc they're the most oppressed and the most valid, actually, regardless of their experiences.

I never used to believe the above because it was always written off as terf shit, and ignoring it kinda benefitted me, but between seeing ftms getting bashed for refusing to follow new "TME" rules as if they aren't trans too, and seeing outrage around Chris chans pronouns, I think it's time to start saying things that may make people uncomfortable. innocent people are already getting hurt by this, and we need to do better. it's time to get uncomfortable.

I want to remind you that perception is both the relying factor, and also the downfall of newer lgbt theory. if my profile were mtf coded, maybe it currently is, you'd call me a self hating trans and I wouldn't be that big of a deal. terfs would probably target me.

if my profile was ftm coded, I would be absolutely skewered for daring to speak out about these issues, even though they do actually affect ftms disproportionately. terfs would try to convince me that being trans is a plague and a mental illness, and to just ~be a cis woman~!

and if assumed cis, I would 100% be assumed radfem terf, and everything I say would immediately be dismissed because of the genuine damage terfs have done. but terfs would still probably flock to this post and berate me for daring to validate trans people At All, because to them, being transgender is a mental illness akin to an eating disorder, and "giving in" to it is "self harm". clearly I don't believe that, so hopefully you'll give me at least some benefit of the doubt.

so, does my identity matter? i have a feeling you'll say yes, because it gives us a good idea of experiences I do and don't have expertise in, and thus room to talk about. but I refuse to directly identify what I actually am because I want the focus of any resulting conversation to be my message and not my self identification. if you read between the lines and figure it out that's just fine, but I would like to be heard first and foremost.

my profile is thus an attempt at being cis female coded, somewhat out of comfort, and that is likely what I'll be assumed to be due to the beliefs I am expressing, even though there is a substantial risk of getting misgendered and dismissed, no matter what my birth sex may actually be. i will give you a hint about my identity: I am transgender, on HRT and everything, and I have been personally affected by all of this. rest assured, this is well within my lane to speak about, and it does matter if you misgender me.

I want you to really think about that. before you respond, really think about if someone saying words on tumblr, talking about their OWN experiences and their take on recent history that applies to themself, really more worthy of being misgendered and harassed than... someone who said they transitioned so they could date lesbians, and then raped their own mother with dementia.

is that fair or just? or is this just a new way of letting people with penises do whatever they want? I personally think it's the latter. we need to hold people like Chris chan accountable without getting caught up on something as minor **in comparison** as misgendering and self identification. Is it sad and confusing that someone who self IDs as transgender became 1:1 with the most dangerous stereotypes that exist for trans women? Of course it is. But it doesn't mean that self identification is suddenly more important than a literal crime being committed.

I would normally dismiss it as a fluke or outright trolling if the evidence weren't so damning that this is in fact a real event that happened. If I hadn't seen this happen to other people, and if I didn't literally know another mtf person who used their dysphoria as an excuse for date rape on multiple occasions and never got any consequences for it.

It's not a one time thing, it's a developing problem that we need to stop before more people have their lives ruined. I can't even imagine how traumatizing and messed up it is for an FTM person to be date raped, by another transgender person no less. When I, an abuse survivor, told people of this MTFs red flags, people violently silenced me. People who didn't know I was trans called me a terf and transphobic. We, as a community, could've protected someone from getting date raped, and we didn't. Trans women can be awful, horrible fucking people, because they are people. Protecting them at all costs is wrong. Protecting them from transphobia is what we should be doing.

That being said, misgendering is still skeevy, and I haven't done anything like raped a disabled woman who is no longer able to consent, or date raped my own partner. if you give a shit about respecting my identity, please use they/them for me. if not, use visual perception and make assumptions that will most likely be incorrect, skew your own argument, and put me on the same level as a rapist, and arguably a fetishist. And I do need to remind you that calling someone transgender a rapist and a fetishist without evidence is still definitely classic transphobia, to the letter, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that.

as someone who is same sex attracted, I also want to bring this up as well.

in the US in the past 15 years, the movement as a whole pretty much went "YEAH BORN THIS WAY" with Lady Gaga, and then jumped ship to prioritize mostly mtfs at every angle. do mtfs need support? absolutely. but they don't need misguided toxic positivity, and that's what it's turned into.

it's gotten genuinely homophobic to the point where actually homosexual people are constantly being erased and demonized via "genital preferences are a fetish uwu", and vulva havers, especially the trans ones, are constantly being told to shut up about their experiences.

as much as you want to deny bioessentialism, its still very much well and alive with newer trans movement sentiments when we classify ftms as not worthy of speaking about their own issues with terms like "TME". it's also incredibly ignorant towards FTMs who pass, but dress feminine for comfort, and get mistaken for MTF, and treated like garbage because of it. They are not remotely exempt from misogyny, transphobia, or the intersection of the two, and it is not anyone's job to tell them they don't ever experience that when they do. Turning ftms and biological homosexuals into our enemies-- especially when the actual cause is transphobia and harmful gender stereotypes-- does nothing good or healthy for our movement.

Dont be mistaken, though, passing isn't the focus or end all be all here, it's the perception of others that ends up drastically effecting your experiences. There are words like misogyny that imply treatment via birth sex, however this too can be reliant on external perception. If an MTF individual either transitions very young, has an abundance of resources to transition, or just gets lucky and passes well, chances are she will experience a lot more misogyny than people may give credit to. inversely, someone who just started questioning yesterday, but lived as a male their whole life up until then, they genuinely cannot speak about misogyny with that much room because they simply haven't experienced it at an accurate enough angle or for enough time to understand it as a repeated and sociological force.

It works the other way as well, though; someone who's known that they're trans for a long time and haven't had the resources to transition, or do not or cannot pass in the eyes of society; these people suffer pain that we don't neccesarily have a word for yet, imo. It makes dysphoria worse and it makes living seem hopeless. And as a community, we deal with this is in a really messed up way by over-validating them instead of solving the core issue at hand. and people who suffer from this, but also acknowledge they can't claim what they haven't experienced, are left with nowhere to go.

And its important to acknowledge these things because they're integral to the over-encompassing trans experience. Instead of lying to everyone and telling everyone they pass/giving out unconditional positive regard, our focus should be making it so that it **doesn't matter if you pass**. that you're still worth respect and dignity if you're transgender, no matter what passing is or what it means to you, and no matter how you present. But also, if you do something awful, you still need to be held accountable, especially if you use yourself, your body, or your trans status to contribute to other axi of oppression.

Transphobia is a word that encompasses and addresses all of that, regardless of birth sex. "TME" shuts that down in favor of only letting MTF's speak. Which is still very bio-essentialist, and I can't help but feel like we've gone full circle.

Once upon a time you couldn't even get married if your partner had the same genitals as you. in the US, this was less than 7 years ago. and if you care about human rights activism, you know damn well that legal modification is not the end all be all. people who are genuinely homosexual are still oppressed, but the trans movement has started stepping on them to make ground we don't deserve. homosexuals are ok and valid. it's not a genital preference, and the prescence of trans people doesn't make conversion therapy sentiments ok, ever.

we've gone full circle, and it's not right.

#trans rights #homosexuality #human rights #lgbt #lgbt community #trans #tw: rape #transphobia

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beizhuo · 4 years ago

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alright folks , i made this post last night about amending my carrd rules . & now , after calming somewhat down from getting sick to my stomach about it , i must now make one final update post about this to make people really & fully understand where i stand . why ? because i am , once again , having / needing to finely comb through the people i want to follow & interact with due to some very , VERY toxic behavior & terrible , childish individuals that think its real cute to stalk , harrass , steal , & gatekeep folks .

understand that i will NOT be namedropping anybody in this post . this is not my intention . i am not out here to isolate folks or make people ‘ chose sides ’ . making people do that is absolutely horrible ! i do not give a damn who other people interact with . i do , however have extreme issues with theft ( amongst other things ) . i can draw a god damn line at theft !

harassment ? don’t care . you’re trolling , i can ignore you . gatekeeping . you’e petty and attention seeking im here for friends anyway . but actual literal theft - i can draw a line there . please get out & OFF MY BLOG if you are so unoriginal that you haveta steal from me or my friends !

please know that you can interact with those thieves & gatekeepers , i don’t care ! but understand that i will most likely softblock you because i genuinely do not want them to find me . no hard feelings . ( they have found my other 2 blogs , and i am tired of them finding me ! especially for baizhu ! i don’t even follow some of my friends here cause of this ! ) i am not even in the genshin community to begin with . my group ? we don’t do communities for toxic behavior and people being so exclusive to the point of driving people out & away . its distasteful and mean ! do you know that i have some friends that were cut off from communities entirely all because they were a dupe ? tHAT is the kind of dupe drama i fucking hate . along with theft . anyway . i will start from the beginning of my rules that i deem important .

DUPLICATES . ( AND MIMICRY / THEFT )

the irony that this is the first point . it is like it was a wonderful transition . anyway . this is actually having to deal with two rule points . and i want to group them together cause they are related .

myself & a few other people have come to find out that .... there is somebody AT THE VERY LEAST taking inspo from us . i will start with dupes .

my friend has a character and was WHOLLY mistaken for another mun . which is fine . that happens , but things took a turn for the worse when they were then shunned / cut off because they werent ‘ good enough ’ . do you know how HORRIBLE that is ? to be told that you aren’t good because you weren’t the mun that they wanted ? this is the type of shit i cannot stand with dupe drama . DO NOT EVER COMPARE DUPES WITH ONE ANOTHER !!! i mean it .

i follow different childes ! and you know what i adore them both . they are both amazing !

sure i may have my mains / exclusives ( and im not inclined to interact with other blogs of that same character ) but i still like portrayals . i do , in fact , just READ threads sometimes . i don’t necessarily follow for interactions . like ffs man . i like variety . jesus christ .

going to mimicry / theft . you know ... i have fucking seen this with a couple of friends . there is a difference between coincidental similarities , however ! for myself & for my friends , we have SEEN inspo taken from us . im gonna say this really loud for people .

MIMICRY IS NOT FUCKING FLATTERY .

do not take inspo from me . especially without credit . absolutely do NOT do it . you are very unoriginal for doing that shit .

now , you like something i make / made ? you are inspired to want to make something ? fine , that’s okay , you can ALSO fucking ask me , you can also credit me . as you fucking should ! you can notify me and go , damn , i really like your style , do you mind if i use it in xyz ? sure , go right ahead . do it . im begging you , go ahead and do it IF YOU FUCKING ASK ME . god im so fucking angry about this , but this is some vile shit . and im angry .

i am angry and terrified cause i literally cannot get away from these people cause they seem to be wherever i go . i DO NOT DO COMMUNITIES BECAUSE OF THIS .

as a good friend said : it’s like they are a virus that you cannot get rid of .

thats what happens with attention seekers unfortunately , but for the sake of my safety & health , i will not have it on my blog or dash . if i see these people on my dash often , i will unfollow .

and it isn’t like a specific person , its a GROUP of people . which leads me to my next point .

DRAMA / CALLOUTS.

imagine having beef with an individual , and then going around and gatekeeping that individual and getting people to unfollow / block them . im not talking about , ‘ hey this person is vile because they ship incest ’ . i am talking about ‘ i had a disagreement with this person & they hurt my feelings >:/ they are mean and will hurt you . etc etc etc . ’

i do not give a flying fuck about somebodies issues with another person . so you guys don’t get along . not my problem . i have people that hate me . i have friends where i hate their friends . shit happens . i am probably absolute scum to some people lol . i get mistaken for other people sometimes . it’s fine , hate me cause you think im that person . that person is snowflake repellent anyway , go choke on your kool aide that you are drinking ig .

okay sorry i am angry but still . people claim and cry about wanting to talk & communicate . but then . guess what . sometimes shitty people are like , so this person said this to me , and they are mean . IF YOU ARE THE PERSON THAT GOES ‘ OH MY GOD HOW DARE THEY ’ AND BLOCK THEM THEN YOU ARE THE PROBLEM . i will give an example . of using my two names that i have .

somebody goes to amphy and says ‘omg ghost said this , and im frustrated and angry with them cause what he said was uncalled for . ’ if amphy goes ‘ omg ghost is shitty ’ and then unfollows / blocks them without any other discussion , then thats an issue cause ghost has no idea wtf happen . amphy got involved in YOUR relationship with ghost even though ghost has been nothing but kind and sweet to you . you also don’t know if amphy is just victimising or being emotional either . so why they fuck would you believe somebody who is venting to you about it and then block somebody who did literally NOTHING to you .

i dont know if i explained that correctly but i will give you something more realistic , again without namedropping .

i have a few friends that hate one another . i’ve known all of them for years . but they all , i kid you not , they ALL fucking hate each other . there’s three of them . and they cannot stand each other . i just happen to be somebody who gets along with all of them . you bet your ass that at one point , they all came to talk mad shit about the others . what did i do ? i went , oh okay . well im sorry that you have issues with them . sounds like a bad experience , but i can’t do anything about that cause i am not you and i am not them . if you are gonna change my mind , it isn’t gonna happen , sorry !

i have had people shit talk people i have no idea who they are , and i just sit here just being a source for them to vent , but i never NEVER EVER act on anything i hear . why ? cause its petty drama and gossip . if you do that , then damn , sorry kiddo , get some help on that alright ? maybe be nicer . i dunno .

now . racism ? pedophilia ? incest ? HARMFUL SHIT ? that’s different . but again , theres a lot of miscommunication . i have people coming and pulling the cards like they are hot shit and that isn’t fucking cute . THAT ISN’T CUTE GUYS . you are the problem if you try to victimize yourself cause of something YOU misinterpreted .

i have a friend that has this on their blog .

i am literally going off on a god damn tangent . anyway . :)

fuck you if drink kool aide .

THERE ARE OTHER MENTAL DISORDERS! YOU ARE ABLEIST IS YOU ERASE THE OTHER (UN)COMMON ONES.

i know that autism is the ‘common’ one here . you are valid okay . but guess what . ADHD , BPD, DiD, and straight up depression and anxiety are also things as well ! there are MANY folks here that are also undiagnosed as well OR they lay on some sort of spectrum as well . I am once again not going to disclose my own things here cause again THAT IS PRIVATE INFO , but fuck you if you refuse to see other disabilities .

also there are physical disabilities as well btw .

if you are not understanding of any other disability , or you wanna mute / deafen other mental disorders , YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM .

end of story .

treat other people how you want them to treat you and don’t you dare ever shove your baggage at them . thanks .

please be more understanding that some people are not okay:tm: .

i implore you to get help if you need help , but sometimes some people dont have to take your shit . and they most certainly do not need to sit and take your issues if they are not okay either . its toxic and very unhealthy behavior to expect others to help you . they can help you as best as they can , but you need to understand that everybody has their moments . do not guilttrip them . do not gaslight them .

but also understand that sometimes , people are saying things cause they genuinely need help ! you can be there for them but as a friend , you need to also tell them your own boundaries as well and tell them that they need to seek professional help .

but also , if somebody refuses to get help , then that is on them . not on you .

anyway another tangent , but back to the point . autism , while you need to understand is something you need to see and understand , is not the only mental disorder ! and you need to understand that some people suffer from really REALLY shitty things and are sometimes undiagnosed . i am really REALLY tired of depression , ADHD , BPD, and DiD getting brushed under the rug like they are not important . cause guess what , there are spectrums ! all mental health is important . fuck you if you disregard the other disorders , you are being ableist .

STOP HATE READING PEOPLE.

im really sick and tired of this . you don’t like something somebody said ? you can either : ask what they meant or block / unfollow them .

DO NOT FUCKING STALK THEM EITHER .

you have an obsession if you hover on their blog too .. do not do that . that is SO unhealthy for you . here is what a friend said on twitter . ( not name dropping them , just copy pasting them )

❛ i stg people need to fine a better hobby than to hate read a persons blog or profile. not a good look on you when you go and read what they post about just to get angry at something you think they said and then you go off spewing lies about it cause 'youre offended.'

like you already hate them in the first place. you weren’t 'looking to see if they were a better person.' youre just looking to find another thing to hate about them.

that is what hate reading is about. so you can read their posts and find just another reason to hate and laugh at how bad you think they are.

but it doesnt make you a better person. it just makes you a sad person with no life. stop hate reading people. grow tf up. go breathe on some plants or something idk.

i say this very loud and clear . if you hate read me , i live in your head rent free . not my problem . but it does become my problem if you begin to steal shit and start spewing lies about myself or my friends . grow up and move on with your life . sorry my life seems more interesting than you ig . idk .

anway this got long , and at this point i am going off on a tangent but !!!!

TL ; DR

read my rules ig . idk .

you can dm me for more info if you want . at this point i have blocked the problem blogs for myself. if you are curious you can ask . HOWEVER. i am not going to tell you to block or unfollow . why ? cause at the end of the day , it is MY beef . this are my issues . i am NOT here to gatekeep .

i will say that i will tell you IN private the for MY story . but keep in mind that it is MY story . not yours . not theirs . it is all about perception .

my perception is that they are scummy gatekeeping thieves . they gatekeep the people they dont like or are intimidated by . i am somebody who fucking bites and calls people out on their shit , because of this ? i make enemies . but my enemies are not yours . i dont care . dont give a damn . i am intimidating to people who are cowards and i don’t care .

if they feel bad when i call them out , if they try to go around and do damage control , then that means they are guilty .

and then you can ask yourself this : why are they reacting like that ?

i am once again going to bring up that other twitter user that i quoted before .

❛ you dont like hearing that because someone is holding a mirror up to you and it makes you uncomfortable because you know you . and you know the parts of you that are good . so in your heart you have to come up with a narrative that makes you feel better about the fact that somebody is asking your to confront the parts about yourself that you hate the most .

anyway . this got long . im so sorry for the long read . im so sorry i sounded hostile ad angry . im just volatile sometimes . im just really tired . and i dont need to come on this blog and have a panic attack .

anyway . cheers loves ! stay happy , stay healthy . drink your fluids . take your meds !

#long post.#update tbd.#ooc tbd.#// i have no idea what else to tag this tbh .#there is drama mentions though so there is that i guess ?#but this is all important so ...#anyway ...#read / skim this or perish 🔪#also if you wanna like this to let me know you read / agree with this go ahead .#im not checking for typos i am tired .

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daddyd0nt · 5 years ago

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Classrooms Should Not Be A “Safe Space”

There should be no classroom where a student feels unwelcome for trying to learn and better themselves. Especially in areas like racial/cultural/gender studies, these should be places of LEARNING not just regurgitating what you all already agree with. Let people ask questions. Let people get it wrong and correct them.

Sophomore year, I joined a sociology class that required no prerequisites or major (aka a beginner class open to everybody) and was really excited and open to the fact that it was run by the Black Studies department because I thought “wow, something other than the white upper class sociology professor, cool.” When I got there, I was the only white person, and one of three non-black people. All the students appeared to know the professor already from other classes, who gave off that “cool guy” vibe by opening his classes with music videos and saying ‘fuck’ a lot. I mentioned him to a friend who had taken a class with him before and knew him as a person (she was black) and she advised I drop the class right away. I thought she was saying this because the class itself was hard, but when I asked her, shed taken a different class and still advised me to drop it. We were reading “All the Women Are White, All the Blacks Are Men, But Some of Us Are Brave” which is an amazing book and I was really into the class so I didn’t.

I sensed some hostility from the professor building until one day I got up to go to the bathroom and he started yelling “You have no respect, you think you can just come and go you don’t respect the class or me” and I profusely apologized and explained that the Disability Resource Center should have sent him a letter that I was on medication and would likely need to use the restroom once or more per class. I went to the restroom and took all my stuff and left crying (Im REALLY bad about being yelled at by authority figures) and one of the boys followed me out and was another person who told me, concerned, “Drop the class”. I had to keep the class to have a full-time schedule or I couldnt live on campus so I had no other option by that point in the semester.

A few weeks later, I was reading along on my laptop (which id brought to every previous class, as my disability accommodations allowed it) and he thought i wasnt paying attention so he came by me and slammed a textbook to the ground next to me as hard as he could. Im autistic, and the loud noise startled me and I started sniffling and he grabbed my laptop really roughly by the screen so the bottom part was hanging, saw that i was reading along, and then dropped it back on my desk with no apology. I had a panic attack and left the class and, according to somebody who stayed, changed the topic of the day to my “white fragility” and that I was a “crying white woman” (which like technically yea but i wasnt crying because white guilt or being called racist I was crying because I was autistic and startled with a sudden loud noise which is a major trigger).

There were other smaller incidents (he had a major problem with my absences and took them personally even though i have a chronic illness and was absent from every class just the same, I even went out of my way to try to get to his because I was so afraid of him by then). There was a time where we were talking about drugs and he asked a question about “what drug can get you a life sentence in jail” and I answered “LSD” because there had recently been a case in the news of exactly that happening and so of course I thought he was referring to that and was looking forward to finally getting something right. How he corrected me: “This girl, again. Black people don’t DO acid”. Then he went on to talk about the crack epidemic and i was like oh that makes sense but what I said wasnt wrong?

He was yelling at me “Do you ever pay any attention? You barely even show up. You probably expect me to hand you an A just for taking this class”. This was at the end of class, and I said to him (crying, again, because i cant talk to ‘real adults’ without melting down) that I had autism and ADHD, that they were both on file with the DRC, and he said my learning disorder and disability were excuses that white people used “to give a head start to their lazy children” and that it was “entitled” of me to ask that my accommodations be respected because my disability was really just white laziness and he made a really good point about how black kids are less likely to be diagnosed with learning disabilities and are treated as behavioral cases which yeah 100% correct but he used it as a way to say “these disabilities dont really exist” not “these disabilities are under-diagnosed in certain communities”.

The final straw was my midterm paper. I wrote on the book I mentioned above, a really good paper that I worked really hard on that met all the requirements of the rubric. It came back to me marked C- without any notes or corrections on it, while everybody else had red writing all over their pages. I mentioned it to my friend who had taken his class before and she said “Oh, he wont give the white kids higher than a C-, its the lowest grade he can give without having to cite a reason. Hes bragged about it” (she knew him on a personal level, like been-to-his-house-for-dinner personal). So I ripped the paper up and never went back to his class and just let him fail me for attendance. It was the first class I ever failed.

The entire time I was trying to learn, I was treated like an outsider. This was not the BSU or the African Heritage Society or any place where I should have been treated any different than any other student (those places would have been well right to reject me as those are not my spaces). This was an entry-level classroom, but to the professor I did not belong there even though I paid the same tuition as my classmates. Every question was treated as hostile. Every mistake was a personal insult. Ive seen the same thing happen in my women’s lit classes or feminist-related sociology classes done to male students, although I can only speak to my own experiences, its distressing for EVERYBODY in the room, not just the person the professor targets.

If you are in a classroom in good faith willing to learn, you belong in that classroom. Professors who act otherwise do nothing but scare people who want to learn away from knowledge (I was afraid to take any classes that overlapped with the Black Studies department after that until my senior year when I took a literature class that overlapped, which was lovely and I learned a lot because the professor was interested in teaching). There are clubs, student unions, etc that are wonderful to serve as a safe space and a space that excludes those outside of the community but the classroom, where we all pay the same to be, can NOT be a “safe space”. Classrooms, if anything, should be a DANGEROUS space full of ideas and feedback that threaten the world view you walked in with.

IDK mostly this is just venting about a shitty professor because Im tweaking but yeah him and this lady I took a “women in drama” class with were two of the worst professors in existence and you shouldn’t take pride in making somebody afraid to learn. IDK. I feel like these kind of classes can really bring out abusive personality types because it is somehow implicit that there are some students you are allowed to abuse and take the high road if you get called on it (a MAN complaining about his FEMALE teacher in a class on WOMEN automatically looks bad). IDK. Abusive teachers are real and do real damage.

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renewingagain · 3 years ago

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sunday 27th june 2021 // 4:18pm

everything hurts atm

my anxiety is getting really bad Papa and i really don't know why there is this constant pit of 'eurgh' in my stomach

there are so many issues that i need to work out in my life, as mae says in feel good my brain feels like 'empty mismatched boxes of tupperware and their lids just tumbling around in my head like a tumble dryer' or something like that. RELATE !!!!!

what is it that is supposedly wrong in my life? because:

i have a job. granted its not great, but i have one

i'm (currently) living for very cheap with people who are looking after me

i have some friends. not many, but some

but there are people who love me and care about me

i'm physically in good health. i have no disease, no ailments. i'm not physically disabled, i don't have cancer or anything (sorry i'm just watching Clouds and the guy has cancer in it)

but mentally, im in such a bad place i feel

these are the things i am always worrying about:

- work, i get scared that i'll do the wrong thing or when customers shout at me / complain, i can never find a good resolution for them. plus the hours ARE so long

- sex. i worry that im not desirable enough, that i don't have a great body. i worry because i didn't sleep around enough. because i had phimosis it was something to work through but now i have performance anxiety. even though i find (whoever) attractive it just won't really work but i don't know why. do i really want to fuck them?

whenever i hear of guys having a lot of sex, or talk about how they had a lot of sex in the past because they could, or that they can even fuck someone, i get really jealous and also feel loser-ish because i can't seem to do that right now. it feels really embarassing, but i don't always just wanna bottom! don't get me wrong, i love it but i know how good it feels and wanna give that to other guys. especially if i end up in a relationship.

relationship - how on god's green earth is this going to work when this time comes. who do i even want? how will this work with my family (namely mum) and things like church? people that i know? even though some of my family are fine with it, it would still be weird introducing them to my cousins or whatever. i don't truly know how they all feel about it and i don't want to be looked at differently.

what about when it comes to marrying a guy? i don't want that day to be filled with dread and anxiety, what if my mum or my bibi or people don't want to come because they don't support it? like that is so hurtful isn't it. this cruel divide between sexuality and some religions. but maybe it will be filled with this feeling. although mum doesn't really treat me bad for it, i can't ever see her warming up to the idea of me marrying a man as she is quite religious. and i absolutely do not want whoever i'm seeing to feel like they can't be a part of my family, or feel as though some people in my family see them as evil. i couldn't bring that to the person i love.

insecurity - we have mentioned bodily insecurity and feeling undesirable, but i feel like this sort of applies in every day life too with just anyone that i meet. sometimes i just feel really lame? and i've literally forgotten how to socialise too. i never know what to talk about with people, i feel like i've always ran out of things to say. i'm not entirely into most things that people are into like general TV or movies. i always feel really awkward and socially stunted. i never used to be this way so i don't know where this has come from. anxiety really comes into play here, but i honest to God (u lol) don't know why and i can't pinpoint it.

MUSIC - this sucks atm. i can't sing the way i used to, and it's not like im doing dreamflower anymore as that kinda no longer exists. i can't songwrite or anything, and i know things can be done about this and it just takes a lot of trying. but i'm so wiped out. from dealing with mental health issues i just don't have the energy to pursue this anymore, which is such a shame as it really brought me such joy, but i don't know what to do with this anymore. i'm not even singing in church either

church - i'm not going to church anymore, i really don't like it. it feels so superficial and same-y, it feels like people in church are just wrapped up in their emotions, a good feeling. hype. church used to be such a big part of my life, but i can't bear it anymore. it doesn't help with the gay stuff either. but i don't want to go to a church where it's just worship and a cute sunday message, that doesn't help me in my walk as a christian or my relationship with God at all, it's just a nice feeling that then just passes by and that's it. it's pointless for me at this point.

God - where are u man? i don't even know who you are or if you are real or how to approach you. i guess maybe this is the biggest thing? but it's also the most underlying so i don't know how to deal with this. i don't know where to begin. it feels like such a chore to strike this relationship up again or to just approach you. i don't know what to do if you are not real. i need you but i need you to reveal yourself to me.

what am i to do with all of this? it's all so much for my heavy heart to bear. i feel emotion so deeply within me, and i don't know what to do with all this. where do i start? who can i process this with? do i need to see a counsellor? i'm scared to share how i truly feel with people as they will probably think i am weird.

but at the same time, i know what i kinda want to do in life.

"Your purpose is to help others and love" is what my current phone background says, and it's very true. i just have to love people because people deserve love, and i do not need to get anything from it. as zach said in clouds "I just wanna make people happy" like that is literally me. people deserve joy and love.

having said this, why am i not applying this to myself? why don't i love myself? i think i am a very special person and rejection shouldn't phase me, but it does. annoyingly i have periods where i do feel this way and everything feels a bit clearer, but then these are fleeting and i soon feel bad again.

the worst is when i wake up in the morning. i have a brief few seconds of feeling normal, and then, just dread and anxiety. "oh it's just another day of nothingness and sans-meaning" i tell myself, and i just have to get through. what is the point, truly?

furthermore, i don't understand why when i have a drink or smoke some weed, i then just feel normal? i don't feel my problems or anything in my head, i feel still. why must i rely on that to make me feel better? why can't i just feel normal? i don't want to become a weed addict, as smoking is not good for you. i don't understand. am i really ill or something? am i NOT right in the head? do i have an anxiety disorder that i've never been made aware of before or is a recent development?

maybe i should see a doctor or call the employee assistance program. but my god i am so sad. i simply do not know what to do.

G (me and u) we need a game plan. we need to fix this. i should not be living like this.

i really need to love myself and just take it easy. but please help me god, if you are there, otherwise i don't know what to do.

g, you have to understand that you are dealing with so much that i guess not many people deal with (well, there probably are, but who wants to be vocal about all this hey?) but i know i need to be the strong one.

going back to the church and LGBT, i say this so many times but there must be so many LGBT+ kids like myself who share these expereiences to an extent, and to be shut off from the church where they should supposedly find comfort? unacceptable. this is something that I must change as it's really not fair. maybe my whole life will become a research project into this. LGBT people deserve far better than what they have had.

God, i literally cannot do this without you. i guess it all revolves around you at the end of the day.

help.

note to self: start drafting a game plan. use sticky notes by your bed to remind yourself like you used to. but also don't always be so deep, take it easy and enjoy your life man.

- G

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brooklynislandgirl · 7 years ago

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Role-Play Cheat Sheet

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted. Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

mun name: Turtle {or ya know, D also works} ooc contact: Inbox, IMs, if we’re mutuals and you really want to chat ask for my Discord and/or Skype

Who the heck is my muse anyway? Elizabeth Riley is a nurse. Nothing special, nothing unusual on the surface. Scratch deep enough and you’ll find a woman of uncanny ability. Mage, mutant, witch. There are many names for her kind, but she tries to keep her abilities the best kept secret outside of where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. She is also the sister of Sam ‘Falcon’ Wilson’s former wingman, Andrew Riley.

She exists quietly in the shadow of people much more exotic than herself, that quiet voice of calm in the dead of night, the hand that holds someone else’s and gets them through.

Points of interest:

Beth is...soft. She is sweet. She is gentle. She treats everyone like a long lost friend and has an uncanny knack for understanding what a person needs on a soul deep level. She’s quick to laugh and offer succor. She’s far smarter than she lets on but has never once judged someone for any reason. She’s well off, could live off family money if she chose to, but is a hard worker. She has nerves of steel and doesn’t frighten easy. She’s lived many lives across innumerable centuries. Never quite the same, she’s always been small and delicate and dusky. The only thing she’s retained in all of her incarnations are her eyes, those wide and lovely pools of green with a hint of a honey gold to them. Whether a powered individual or not, and across her verses, one thing that remains a constant is Beth has Auditory Processing Disorder, a learning disability. Also known as Central Auditory Processing Disorder, individuals with Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) do not recognize subtle differences between sounds in words, even when the sounds are loud and clear enough to be heard. They can also find it difficult to tell where sounds are coming from, to make sense of the order of sounds, or to block out competing background noises. Symptoms include: difficulty processing and remembering language-related tasks but may have no trouble interpreting or recalling non-verbal environmental sounds, music, etc. May process thoughts and ideas slowly and have difficulty explaining them. Misspells and mispronounces similar-sounding words or omits syllables; confuses similar-sounding words (celery/salary; belt/built; three/free; jab/job; bash/batch) May be confused by figurative language (metaphor, similes) or misunderstand puns and jokes; interprets words too literally. Often is distracted by background sounds/noises. Finds it difficult to stay focused on or remember a verbal presentation or lecture. May misinterpret or have difficulty remembering oral directions; difficulty following directions in a series. Has difficulty comprehending complex sentence structure or rapid speech “Ignores” people, especially if engrossed Says “What?” a lot, even when she has heard much of what was said.

She’s also a terrible cook and can scorch water.

The most terrifying thing about Beth...is...you see that shadow there? Just a few feet to her left? Darker and colder than the rest? That feels like the chill of the early grave and robs you of your breath just thinking about? Yes, that one. If you look close enough, you’ll see the outline of a man. Tall and predatory. A lethal grace. If you’re lucky, that is all you’ll ever see. If you’re unlucky, you’ll come to find out his woman is NOT your playtoy, and he’ll teach you the error of your ways.

What they’ve been up to recently:

Saving the world, one soul at a time.

Where to find them:

Mostly in New York: In Manhattan {WoD/Main verse}: Saint Vincent’s where she works regular hours and on call. {Defenders} In Hell’s Kitchen: She, along with her partner, an EMT who is also gifted, she runs a free clinic. No questions asked. ~Various AUs~ {Legend} London: A small pub in the East End called The Sole Trader, as owned by Mr. Ronnie Kray. {shifts across various eras...from the 1940s through Modern day, but she’s rarely found beyond Ron’s company} {Xmen} A supporter, believer and general trash-panda of Magneto, Beth wants nothing more but to live in a world where she doesn’t have to fear people because she’s a gifted individual. {MI-5/Spooks} The Hospital of Saints John and Elizabeth {which she finds funny}. {Hawaii-50} Beth’s life took a turn unexpectedly in which she gave up her career in medicine for one in law enforcement, in which she became a rookie under Danny Williams in New Jersey. They were partnered for many years before he took a transfer to be with his daughter, and beth eventually followed in his footsteps, finally returning ‘home’ to Oahu. She currently is an officer with HPD and likes to surf on the weekends. {Agents of Shield} Beth became a SHIELD asset and medic for various teams under the watchful eye of “Uncle” Phil Coulson. Her supervisor, Vivian Harrison isn’t quite sure she’s cut out for the job and there’s often conflict because of her...peculiarities. {Stranger Things} Beth’s father and brother have recently come to rescue/employ of Hawkins Laboratory, leaving the neglected teen-age girl to pretty much raise herself. {Supernatural} A good and decent witch who lives in the hills of Appalachia. She might be dirt poor and illiterate but has a heart of gold. {Peaky Blinders} Set in the 1940s, Beth is a little Romani woman poised to set the world on fire. {The Stepney Mob} The whisper of witch or avenging ghost is quickly hushed in the confines of the Blind Pig and maybe only Davy Lloyd knows the truth {always up for new AUs or places for her to be!}

Current plans:

Doing her job, saving people when he allows her to. Hopefully, saving him from himself.

Desired interactions:

She’s the avenging angel of the down-trodden and ill-spirited, and will patch anyone up for any reason. She is currently also the head of the James Buchanan Barnes protection detail and will kill a bitch for looking at him cross-wise. She’s usually quite reasonable when it comes to playing well with others and can in fact bend over backwards to accommodate rp.

{I’d kill to have a Phil Coulson or other AoS character to play with, I’d love to have a Frank Castle, and I just really wanna make new friends and murder them. With feels. Because murder is wrong. >.>}

Offered interactions:

See all of the above. If questions remain, feel free to msg Turtlemun and we’ll work something out.

Anything else? I like grapes. I drink coffee. I know too many things. A particular note: @brooklynislandgirl is Beth’s blog and my main rp ground. Super-selectively there is a blog for Andrew Riley {her brother and Sam Wilson’s former wingman} which I might share if you ask nicely but keep in mind has to be very canon divergent. Beth also comes with a host of npcs which currently consist of: Ian Barrie of the Firm {Legend} Chauffer/Knife-Wielding Scot/Confident and Loyal to Ron Kray Dmitri Woźniak: Black Market Dealer/Conspiracy Theorist Quothe Ravenchenko: Were-raven and general bane of your existance, what doesn’t say the N word, and will absolutely get whatever you need, whenever you need in one scene change or less. Father Vincent Dafaux: Catholic Priest and Celestial Chorus Mage, nominal leader of the Latch Key Saints cabal. He runs numerous safe houses, keeps his church and rectory open at all hours, and supplies a daily Soup Kitchen and Tent City in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Lucien “Luc” Toussaint: A med-school drop out and current EMT with the FDNY out of Bed-Stuy. Originally from Tangipahoa Parrish, Louisianna.

@rxsmyers

Tagging: @lilxlionxman, @ronmanmob, @multi-mused, @reclaimedasset, @jerseysass, @hoouna, @morgansmornings, @drifting-anarchist, @magnetician @lokitheliesmith, @tattoosandmusclecars, @loneshelby @theregoesthebellhop, @thegreatmariahgatsby, @daddylcnglegs @nctcricus, @leslie-holt, @exanimax, @madteddyrp, @bluebxmfing, @bourbonstreetdevil, @thegloriannaobreen, @therapardalis, @thedarcydichotomy, @therealgamble, @lucxsnorth, @leomcleod, @hands-cf-fate, @punishmentismyjob anyone else who wants, just tag me back <3

#meme goodness #This only took about a million years

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megaraxdimitriou · 8 years ago

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1. Describe the character’s height and build. Is he heavyset, thin, short, rangy?

“I’m a big ol string bean, at 5′10. I’d like to say healthy because i exercise quite frequently but i pretty much stay the same weight i have for years due to my various love for food.” Meg is fit/slim, but she never turns down the opportunity to treat herself.

2. How old is he?

“I’m the big two-o.”

3. Describe his posture. Does he/she carry himself well or does he/she slouch?

“I’m not much of a sloucher. My mom would always smack my hands at the dinner table if i was slouching even though she let my father do it. So i’d say pretty well, mostly from habit.” That and her mother had Meg take ballet classes when she was little, so bad posture was always a big no-no.

4. How is his health? Is he fit or out of shape? Any illnesses or conditions? Any physical disabilities?

“I guess fit? Haha, is sleeping in til the afternoon an illness? Because if so, you got me.” No Meg is pretty healthy physically wise.

5. How does he move? Is he clumsy, graceful, tense, fluid?

Graceful, hah that’s a laugh. I don’t know? I walk like a regular human being, is this even a real thing?” Yes it is Meg, lol. Meg is pretty relaxed in most aspects, if anything she walks casual, although sometimes if in a good mood she has a charming strut she puts on.

6. How attractive is this character physically? How does he perceive himself in the mirror?

“Meh.” Wow, Meg my god. Meg has never been one for appearances; it wasn’t until recently that Daphne got her in things like doing her hair and makeup. Meg doesn’t really care for it, but most of the time shes confident in her own skin.

7. Describe his complexion. Dark, light, clear, scarred?

“I’m not pale, but i’m not really dark either. I look i got a tan, but got out of the tanning booth halfway through. Like a golden-brown potato chip. I do get oily sometimes, it just mostly looks like i’ve been sweating though.” meg-girl. Meg is slightly tan, but in the winter her complexion lightens immensely

8. Describe his hair: color, texture, style.

“My hair is probably about upper-mid back. I usually don’t do anything with it, but it’s naturally wavy a bit. So most of the time its just down, or up in a pony tail.”

9. What color are his/her eyes?

“Hazel, but the green outshines the most. My mom always use to call them Σμαράγδια της θάλασσα, which translated means Emeralds of the sea.

10. Does the character have any other noteworthy features?

“I’d like to think my eyes, and i have a lil freckle above my lip that draws a bit of attention. Whether good or bad i’m not really sure which.”

11. What are his/her chief tension centers?

“I guess my shoulders.” Shoulders/Upper back.

12. What is the character’s wardrobe like? Casual, dressy, utilitarian? Bright colors, pastels, neutrals? Is it varied, or does he/she have six of the same suit?

“I don’t know, i don’t feel like what i wear falls under any certain type of fashion style. I just wear whit i like.” Meg can go from casual to classy as hell. It just depends how shes feeling and what shes dressing up for. Most of her clothes are either dark's or neutrals, but there is some pops of color in there.

Most of the time she is dressed up like this (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

13. Do his/her clothes fit well? Does he/she seem comfortable in them?

“If they didn’t fit, i wouldn’t be wearing them. Sometimes i like clothes that hug my body right, sometimes i like wearing loose things that fall and hang off my sides.”

14. Does he/she dress the same on the job as he/she does in his free time? If not, what are the differences?

“Sometimes, but mostly its still casual.”

15. You knew it was coming: Boxers, briefs or commando?

Laced solid colored underwear.

Speech

1. What does this character’s voice sound like? High-pitched, deep, hoarse?

“Haven’t really thought about that much?” I’d say somewhere in the middle ground. Her voice is feminine but has strength behind it.

2. How does he/she normally speak? Loud, soft, fast, evenly? Does he/she talk easily, or does he/she hesitate?

“Normal.” Meg never raises her voice unless around Hades or shes in an argument. Other than that, no. She never really is one to hesitate.

3. Does the character have a distinct accent or dialect? Any individual quirks of pronunciation? Any, like, you know, verbal tics?

“I guess i used too. I was raised in Greece, but my mom taught me English when i was very young. She said it was always handy to know more than one language. Most of the time people can’t tell i’m from another country until i start speaking my native language.”

4. What language/s does he/she speak, and with how much fluency?

“I can speak Greek fluently since its my native language, English as well. I know a few words and phrases of Albanian and Latin, since a lot of people in Greek used a variety of languages.”

5. Does he/she switch languages or dialects in certain situations?

“Sometimes. I speak my native language more in my head than anywhere else. Or when my mother calls.” Sometimes if Meg is flustered of angry, or it just slips from her mouth without her even realizing it.

6. Is he/she a good impromptu speaker, or does he/she have to think about his words?

“Never hesitate. Say whats on your mind.” Oh meg shaddup, you hesitate sometimes binch don’t give me that.

7. Is he/she eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change?

“I want to say eloquent, but honestly that sounds way more re-fined than i feel like i am?”

Mental and Emotional

1. How intelligent is this character? Is he/she book-smart or street-smart?

“Uh, both? I’d like to think i have both.” With Meg its a fair middle ground. Meg is intelligent but sometimes lacks in the motivation to do her work department. And she has plenty of street wit from Hades.

2. Does he/she think on his feet, or does he/she need time to deliberate?

“Feet. Definitely feet. Probably would’ve been as in many situatuions as i have if i put more thought into certain things...” Hahaha, *coughs* Herc *coughes loudEr* HaDES

3. Describe the character’s thought process. Is he/she more logical, or more intuitive? Idealistic or practical?

“Instinct, although sometimes more logical than if not.”

4. What kind of education has the character had?

Tbh, i’m not sure because Meg’s bio is still in the drafts and shes not listed on the dorm listings. But im pretty sure shes in University from what i remember.

5. What are his/her areas of expertise? What, if anything, is he/she interested in learning more about?

“Ah, you’d laugh. It’s kind of lame.” Meg has a love for mythology and anything to deal with that. She loves reading myths and legends. It brings out the childlike aspects in Meg.

6. Is he/she an introvert or an extrovert?

7. Describe the character’s temperament. Is he/she even-tempered or does he/she have mood swings? Cheerful or melancholy? Laid-back or driven?

“Introvert. I don’t care too much for people.” That and usually Hades got her busy/and or kept to himself a lot. It takes a certain person to make Meg and extrovert, aka Daphne/Tito.

8. How does he/she respond to new people or situations? Is he/she suspicious, relaxed, timid, enthusiastic?

“Depends on the situation or person.” Meg WILL fight for what she wants, so if on her bad side she could raise hell if she wants too. Although shes not the type of person to ask for help either. But when it comes to new people she’s suspicious in the sense she never fully can trust a person until she gets to know them better. But if she feels secure around someone she’s very laid-back.

9. Is he/she more likely to act, or to react?

“Act.”

10. Which is his/her default: fight or flight?

“Fight. Always fight.”

11. Describe the character’s sense of humor. Does he/she appreciate jokes? Puns? Gallows humor? Bathroom humor? Pranks?

“Gallows humor. I don’t care for vulgar jokes boys make. It makes me feel like i’m losing more of my brains cells from listening to something like that.”

12. Does the character have any diagnosable mental disorders? If yes, how does he/she deal with them?

“Not that i’m aware of no.” Meg doesn’t have depression, but she can feel quite lonely/or sad sometimes.

13. What moments in this character’s life have defined him/her as a person?

“I feel as if i’ve had too many of those moments.” When Megs dad died, or betraying Herc, working for Hades. There’s a lot lol.

14. What does he/she fear?

“Having my freedom taken away. Never standing up for what i want or believe in.” The irony.

15. What are his/her hopes or aspirations?

To be happy. Move on from the past and start something fresh and new.

16. What is something he/she doesn’t want anyone to find out about him/her?

She’s not as strong as puts on.

Relationships

1. Describe this character’s relationship with his/her parents.

“I’m very close to my mom. She had to raise me alone for the majority of my life and she worked so hard to have the things i could. I could never repay her for all she’s done for me. σ'αγαπώ μαμά (I love you mama).” Meg was a big daddys girl, but her father passed away when she was 7 from a motorcycle accident.

2. Does the character have any siblings? What is/was their relationship like?

“Nope.”

3. Are there other blood relatives to whom he/she is close? Are there ones he/she can’t stand?

“Not really.”

4. Are there other, unrelated people whom he/she considers part of his family? What are his/her relationships with them?

“Not at the moment.” She’d say Hades or Peyton and Patrick since she see’s them practically all the time. But it’s not a good relationship with Hades.

5. Who is/was the character’s best friend? How did they meet?

“Daphne. I love her.” I’m not sure how Meg met Daphne, but i’m blessed that she did.

6. Does he/she have other close friends?

“Tito for sure. He always makes me smile. I don’t know what it is. Berlioz too, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.”

7. Does he/she make friends easily, or does he/she have trouble getting along with people?

“I’m i feel it’s easy to get along with people, but sometimes people are annoying and it frustares me beyond belief.”

8. Which does he/she consider more important: family or friends?

“Family. Always Family.” Meg doesn’t have a wide variety of friends, so Family is most important to her. Especially since they’re people who feel like home to her.

9. Is the character single, married, divorced, widowed? Has he/she been married more than once?

“Single? ha, married? I’m not sure that will ever happen.”

10. Is he/she currently in a romantic relationship with someone other than a spouse?

“Uh, no?”

11. Who was his/her first crush? Who is his/her latest?

“Uh, well there was this boy from my home town. I mean he was sweet and really naive, but i think thats what i liked most about him. Just the pure innocence about him, and i fucked it up. What a surprise. I hope he's doing okay. Recently? No-” Bish talking about Herc, and we all know who Meg is talking about recently bish i see you

12. What does he/she look for in a romantic partner?

“Someone i can hold real conversations with, someone i can laugh and be myself around.” Meg is simple she just wants someone is going to be there for her, even if she doesn’t necessarily need it.

13. Does the character have children? Grandchildren? If yes, how does he/she relate to them? If no, does he/she want any?

“I don’t want to even phantom the thought of having kids right now. But maybe someday.”

14. Does he/she have any rivals or enemies?

Meg doesn’t want to answer this question because she doesn’t want Hades to over-hear lmao.

15. What is the character’s sexual orientation? Where does he/she fall on the Kinsey scale?

“I’d rather boys, but intelligent ones.” Probably 0 or 2.

16. How does he/she feel about sex? How important is it to him/her?

“I want it to be with someone i care about and vice versa. I’m not the type to sleep around, but i mean to the people who do it you do you boo; just not my thing.”

17. What are his/her turn-ons? Turn-offs? Weird bedroom habits?

“I’d rather not talk about this, thanks.” Meg is quite a passionate person and she’s not going to give everything up so easily because she likes a fight. It would depend what mood she’s in, she’d love intimate or go farther into the rougher aspect of sex. Like hair pulling, lip biting, and all that good stuff.

Beliefs

1. Do you know your character’s astrological (zodiac of choice) sign? How well does he/she fit type?

I feel either an aries or leo. But probably mostly aries because they’re lively, passionate, courageous. Their negative traits would include being impatient, stubborn, and impulsive which just all sounds like Meg perfectly tbh.

2. Is this character religious, spiritual, both, or neither? How important are these elements in his/her life?

“I really don’t have any specific view on it. My mother gave me the choice of choosing/doing whatever i wanted to with religion. Maybe i just haven’t figured it out yet.”

3. Does this character have a personal code of morals or ethics? If so, how did that begin? What would it take to compromise it?

“Don’t we all have a code of morals? We all know right between wrong, but sometimes we do it anyway. It depends, although it would take a lot for me to compromise it.” Like being forced to frame drugs on Hercules lol.

4. How does he/she regard beliefs that differ from his? Is he/she tolerant, intolerant, curious, indifferent?

“Tolerant. I like to hear the other side of things or someone’s opinion on the matter.”

5. What prejudices does he/she hold? Are they irrational or does he/she have a good reason for them?

Mostly with everyone not because of color or what they look like, but shes always felt skeptical towards people because unless you don’t know that person like the back of your hand you don’t know what they’re capable of. Just like Hades. So pretty much Hades ruined her when it comes to people in general.

Daily Life

1. What is the character’s financial situation? Is he/she rich, poor, comfortable, in debt?

Meg has been comfortable, but there are times when she was younger that her family was hurting for money.

2. What is his/her social status? Has this changed over time, and if so, how has the change affected him/her?

“Under the radar.”

3. Where does he/she live? House, apartment, trailer? Is his/her home his/her castle or just a place to crash? What condition is it in? Does he/she share it with others?

“I miss my home back in Greece. It was just beautiful, i miss it so much sometimes compared to the form i’m living in at Walt.”

4. Besides the basic necessities, what does he/she spend his/her money on?

“Probably movies, i love to indulge in fantasy.”

5. What does he/she do for a living? Is he/she good at it? Does he/she enjoy it, or would he/she rather be doing something else?

“Nothing really.” Do you mean work for Hades? Then yes, and she doesn’t hate it but she doesn’t love it either. She’s known Hades for so long now that he feels like a friend in a weird twisted way.

6. What are his/her interests or hobbies? How does he/she spend his/her free time?

Meg will never admit it, but dancing. More of a classical style. Definitely something like this. (x)

7. What are his/her eating habits? Does he/she skip meals, eat out, drink alcohol, avoid certain foods?

Meg doesn’t have big meals unless she’s going out to eat, so she snacks a lot.

Associations

Which of the following do you associate with the character, or which is his/her favorite:

1. Color? Purple 2. Smell? The Ocean 3. Time of day? Sunset 4. Season? Autumn 5. Book? Anything that has to do with Mythology, she has a guilty pleasure for the Percy Jackson series. 6. Music? Upbeat songs, once that are relaxing to listen to. She has a soft spot for ballads. 7. Place? By the crashing waves of crystal blue ocean, by herself with a good book. 8. Substance? Vodka/Wine 9. Plant? Iris 10. Animal? Humming bird

#watask #aboutmegx #whoo and another one bites the dust #off to take a nap

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