#treat what i posted here like a first draft haha

[nikatyler]

Regan's Looks ✨

Links

[samkerrworshipper]

las 15.

mapi leon x reader, alexia putellas x reader (platonic)

warnings: the spanish federation ick

erm look at me posting something 😮 anyways enjoy haha i kinda hate it but need to feed yall somehow

“You need to be aware of the consequences of what could happen if you sign this document.”

You stared down at the mahogany surface of your lawyers desk, it was dark, sanded, smooth and shiny. Contemporary, but it also looked old, like a heirloom. It distracted your from the non stop drawl.

“I don’t care, I’m signing it.”

Your eyes travelled along the surface, lookinbg at the different waves of wood and the way that the dark colours marbled together.

“The RFEF could come for you, they could try and take your license. You might not compete at the world cup, the press will come for you, Vilda will come for you, Barca could reduce your playing time, it could be the end of your career. There are other negatives.”

You’ve thought about all of them of course, how could you not?

“I’ve already said it, I don’t care. Let them come for me, let them do whatever they want. I am done with it all. Fourteen other players have signed it, no? I will be the fifteenth and that is final.”

You weren’t a big fan of your lawyer, he was old and money oriented. He also didn’t have your best interest in mind, his sole focus was earning you as much money as possible, which had been fine up until today.

“So what? You plan to be the best in the world and never play international football again? This will ruin your career, it will put an end to the Ballon D’or campaign, it will change things for you, you can’t just do this because your girlfriend does it as well, this will be detrimental for you.”

The wood grooved at the edges, flattening out and curving so the edges weren’t too sharp.

“I refuse to stand by and submit myself to abuse. That’s what happens every time I go to that place, every time I go to camp I submit myself to abuse, torture, horrific conditions. The fact that you would even dare imply that I would do this for anybody but myself is preposterous. I am better than the condition I am being subkmitted to, I deserve better than to be objectified and treated as if I am dirt on that man’s shoe and I refuse to be treated as such. I have standards for myself and the people around me and I refuse to live by these for much longer. I’ll draft up the letter, I’ll send it to you for editing purposes and once your done you will send it to the RFEF, consequences be damned. You should be glad that I lasted two more windows then everyone else, honestly I’m ashamed that I didn’t do this earlier, but I’m ready to take a stand with everybody else now. I don’t want to play in a World Cup if it means this is how I will live my life.”

You looked up at your lawyer, hoping the fire burning in your soul was reflective in your eyes.

“This is a bad decision, you are thinking with your heart and not your head, this is unlike you.”

You pulled your eyes from the mahogany, standing up from your seat slowly.

“No, I’m thinking with my own interests, not yours, not my managers, not my bank accounts. I’m thinking with my mental health, my emotional health and my physical health. For the first time in my life I am taking time to focus on myself, so tyeah maybe it’s unlike me, but I’d like to think this might be the a better version of me, I’ll email you my letter, all you havr to do is forward it, if it’s such a struggle don’t even bother reading it, I don’t care what you have to say, I’m legally obligated to make you aware of any contractual issues so here I am. Give a fuck, don’t give a fuck, it doesn’t change anything for me, I’ve made my decision and nothing or nobody will make me change my mind.”

You didn’t wait around to hear what he planned to say in rebuttal, exiting the stuffy office as quickly as your legs would allow.

You made it to your car before you felt the tears flooding down your face. Even now, even after you’d tried to speak out you still felt like you were being silenced, like nothing had changed. That’s why you were doing what you were doing, why you knew this was what you needed to do. It didn’t make it any easier though, knowing that no matter what choices you made, even if they were for the good of you there were still going to be people around you who condemned them.

You were supposed to be at training, but you’d taken the day of to finalise all this bullshit. It was frustrating, knowing that the choices you were making for the good of yourself could end up being harmful to your career in a multitude of ways, it was all so fucking hard.

Everybody was at training, and yet here you were balling your eyes out in the carpark of your stupid fucking lawyers office.

If you hadn’t hit rock bottom at the last camp, the this was it, this was your final straw.

It was all too much, you’d been holding out for too long, but the mixture of the other 14 girls refusing to come back and Alexia’s injury had been enough of a motivation for Vilda to try and ruin your life. It had started with extra training after your sessions, then sessions in the mornings, then separating you from the rest of the team, limiting your diet, gym sessions, changing your schedules to everybody elses, punishing you for nothing, treating you like you were a slave to the Spanish Women’s team.

You were the best midfielder they had, excluding Alexia, and she was hurt, you were the scapegoat for the team, you were responsible for the wins and the reason for the losses.

You knew that with your leave, somebody else would end up taking your role, probably Aitana who was far to young to deal with that kind of pain, and you felt bad, you felt more guilty than you thought possible, but you couldnt do it for any longer, you couldn’t act like it wasn’t killing you on the inside for every second that you spent away with those people.

You hated it, you hated feeling like nothing, you hated feeling worthless, you hated living your life like it was pointless, you couldn’t do it for any longer, not when you were giving up every single part of yourself to keep yourself together.

You couldn’t stay how you were, crying in the drivers seat of your car milling over the memories of your last camp, you needed to leave, needed to go somewhere, needed to talk somebody.

Before you really knew what you were doing you’d started driving, letting the tears drip onto your lap and the steering wheel as you frantically drove your way through the city.

You couldn’t be alone, but you also couldn’t handle all the eyes of your teammates, so you drove to the one other place that you could think of where you hoped somebody would be.

You tried your hardest to wipe the tears from your face, but they kept falling, the sleeve of your shirt getting damper by the second as you tried to wipe up the evidence of your breakdown. It was useless, and eventually you gave up, stepping out of your car and ducking your head as you walked towards the lift and navigated your way through the apartment building.

The person you were looking for didn’t answer the door, instead you were put face to face with Olga.

“Hola chica, Ale didn’t tell me she was expecting visitors.”

You bit down on your lip, tapping your foot against the floor as you peeked around Olga, searching for the person you were seeking out.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t tell her, I can go home, I know she’s been busy with her rehab, I don’t even know how I ended up here.”

Olga tugged at your arm before you could spit anything else out, tugging you through the door and closing it from behind you.

“Nonsense chica, you’re very welcome here, Alexia is sitting out on the balcony doing her exercises, she’ll be more than happy to have your company, just head on through, your always welcome here.”

You nodded at Olga, smiling at her as much as you could with your lip still stuck between your teeth.

“Thank you, thank you so much, I really appreciate.”

You tried to ignore the tears that were still dripping down your face, it didn’t feel like you were crying, even though you were, it more felt like you were shedding a layer of yourself, the layer that was holding all of the trauma that you’d been holding in, like it was your way of getting rid of it all.

Alexia’s apartment was meticulously clean as ever, but you spotted her out in the sun easily.

She was standing outside, in a pose similar to ones you did in your yoga sessions.

She looked at peace, like she was calm, like she was serene, the complete polar opposite to how you felt and you really didn’t want to burden her with your problems, but you were here now anyways.

You tiptoed over to the glass sliding door, pushing it open, causing Alexia’s head to peak up at you. She looks at you with curiosity, but doesn;t move, instead her head nods you towards one of the outdoor lounges beside her, which you beeline for.

She stays in her position as she addresses you.

“The appointment with your lawyer didn’t go well then?”

You did a double take as you stared at Alexia, shocked at the information she’d somehow managed to obtain.

“You don’t take me for a idiota do you? Mapi told me you had a appointment you were keeping quiet about this morning, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out who it must have been with, considering recent events. Although your girlfriend wasn’t smart enough to work it out herself.”

Alexia stayed in her stretch, looking at you as if to prompt you to tell her more.

“Yes, I had a appointment with my lawyer, Alexia.”

Alexia smirked to herself, she was one of the most obersvanet people you knew, nothing got by her, you weren’t all that surprised to find out that this hadn’t.

“You’ll be joining the group then?”

You hadn’t really comes to terms with it, let alone saying it out loud.

“That’s the plan, should be official by tomorrow.”

Tears were still dripping down your face, you couldn’t find yourself caring though.

“Good for you. You deserve better, we all deserve better, may we all hopefully make a change.”

Alexia wasn’t officially a part of the movement, but she was everyway besides a signature as equally involved as everybody else.

“It just feels like i’m letting the team down, that I’m letting everyone down.”

Alexia nodded at you, finally coming out of her stretch and walking over to sit down next to you.

“You’re doing what’s good for you chica, your doing something that is going to make you happier, that is going to make your life better. Nobody else matters beyond that, trust me.”

Alexia looked at you, like she was genuinely struggling to help you out in the moment. She had been your mentor at Barca for forever, you seeked out her advice more than anybody elses, especially in this moment.

“I don’t know how to do it anymore, it’s like he was trying to ruin my fucking life, like his whole purpose for everyday was to make my life a living hell, and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t walk around camp acting like it was fine, I couldn’t smile at cameras and talk to the press and tell them about how great I was feeling when it was all lies, all I wanted to do was leave, or sleep, or die, all because of his and his staff. They were hardly feeding me, hardly letting me sleep, hardly giving me a break and expecting me to perform at the same level as everybody else, if not better. I just couldn’t do it anymore Ale, it was too much.”

Alexia’s arm placed itself on your knee, squeezing your covered skin.

“You shouldn’t have to, you needed to leave and you did, you made the right decision chica, you made a impossible decision that will make your life 100 times easier, it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you so incredibly brave for being able to identify that you were being treated wrongly and that you needed to remove yourself from that space.”

The tears kept falling, your pants were slowly becoming soaked with the raw emotion.

“Mapi did it because of the abuse, because she had a legitimate reason, I’m leaving because they worked me a little bit harder than everybody else, it feels like I’m overreacting.”

You could feel Alexia rolling her eyes from beside you.

“Really? Has Mapi told you that?”

Mapi had told you that you deserved the world, you deserved everything you wanted, you deserved to be treated like a queen, not how the RFEF was treating you. She’d told you the decision was yours, that she would support you no matter what you did, but she’d also told you that after every camp you came back with a little bit less of yourself, that Vilda was stripping parts of you away to use at his mercy.

“It’s not the same thing, Patri, Pina, Mapi, they all have good reasons, they’ve all been hurt, Vilda is just trying to make me better, trying to make me worthy.”

Alexia’s hand squeezed tighter.

“You’re lying to yourself and you know it. As long as he is in charge, you aren’t going to get treated how you deserve, none of us are. We’ve all paid our dues, yet they don’t give a shit, they break us all down until we’ve got nothing left to give. They broke me down until I did my acl, if you hadn’t of left they would have done the same to you. It’s nonstop, even if it isn’t the same kind of abuse as Mapi, it’s still abuse, they still rip out every part of you in the process. Each time you come back you have less of yourself to offer, but they keep taking, and taking, they make us feel nothing. It’s a waste, it’s a waste of the wonderful life we’ve all been gifted. We deserve to be happy, we deserve to be free of the pain.”

You nodded your head, you’d been avoiding telling Mapi about all of this. You were conscious that she was still working through a lot of her own trauma, and you didn’t want to reopen scars that were only just beginning to heal.

“I don’t know what to do Ale, I sign the papers, I write the letters and I’m taking a stand, I’m trying to make a change. I stay, I wreck it all, but I keep my career. It feels like I’m at a crossroads with myself, and I can’t talk about it weith Maps because god forbid shes already been through enough with her own struggle through it all, she doesn’t need me on top of that.”

Alexia stood back up, getting back onto her mat and pushing herself into another stretch, all whilst she maintained eye contact with you.

“Mapi’s talked to you about her struggles, si? She’s burdening you with her own problems, yet it doesn’t feel that way, because you love her and you’d do anything to make her pain less. I guarantee she’d feel the exact same way. You’ve been through a lot, none of us will ever be able to completely comprehend what you’ve been through, but if you started talking to your loved ones about it we’d be able to support you better. Or a therapist, I know Barca has been giving you sessions, but I mean a real psychologist, not just a person who tells you that you need a day off. You need somebody to help you, to actually make you feel like you deserve better than how they treated you, because I know that you know that but I don’t think you really believe it.”

The tears were slowly coming to a standstill, slipping less frequently down your face as Alexia talked to you.

“I don’t want to make her hurt any more than she already has.”

Alexia just looked at you, with that double eyebrow raise and little crinkle in her forehead.

“If you think that Maria wouldn’t do anything for you, even if it meant sucking every single inch of pain from your body and putting it into hers, she would do it and she would do it with a smile on her face. Her whole world, her whole solar system revolves around you and she’d want you to talk to her about this. She knows better than anybody else what you’re experiencing, she’s literally been where you are, so why not talk to her about it?”

It was true, for as long as Mapi and you had been together she’d tried to fix every single thing, she would do anything to make you feel better, this didn’t feel the same though.

“She deserves to live in a world where Vilda, where the RFEF, don’t affect her anymore. She signed the petition, she’s cleaned her hands of it all, and I should have done it with her, but I didn’t. I chose to keep playing for the benefit of my career, because I was greedy and decided that a Ballon D’or and any kind of accolade I was a shot at was more important then taking a stand and I hate it. I hate that now that I’ve won things that suddenly it’s all hit me that I don’t like what’s been happening, and I don’t want to support it. Mapi doesn’t deserve to go through it a second time, all because I was greedy.”

Alexia switched sides on her stretch, the sun was radiating off of her olive skin and her blonde hair, she looked ethereal.

“Have you told her anything about it?”

Alexia was frowning, like she was shocked by your actions.

“She knows that I was struggling at camp, she told me I was welcome to talk to her. After the last one she knew something had changed, she told me she was worried and I shook her off, because I thought she was being overprotective, but she was right, she had reason to be worried, I wasn’t okay. I’m not okay, i don’t know how to process it all.”

Alexia nodded.

“Go home, tell her what’s happening, see what she says, I think it’ll be a lot better than whatever you’ve thought up. Mapi has been my bestfriend for years, she’s dated my sister, she’s dated my friends and I can confidently tell you that she loves you more than any of them, you’re her do or die, all she’ll want to do is support you, please just go and talk to her.”

Alexia looked at you with such conviction and honesty that you couldn’t find it in you to try and fight her on the topic.

“Thank you Ale, I needed this, I needed to talk to somebody, needed to feel less crazy.”

Alexia did one last stretch before standing up, pulling you into a tight hug before you could pull away.

“You’re not crazy chica, you’re going through a very real, very hard time, and you deserve to have the people around you show you how much they love you.”

Alexia let go of you, shoving you back towards the door.

“Go talk to your girl, and sign those papers, and be happy, enjoy life, enjoy peace. You deserve it, chica.”

You nodded into Alexia’s shoulder, letting go of her and slipping back into her apartment, leaving her to get back to her stretching.

You shivered when you spotted Mapi’s car already parked in her spot. You knew you’d be cutting it close with getting home earlier then her, but you’d held a silent hope that you would be the first home. You hesitated to exit your car, scared of what the inside of your apartment held. You weren’t scared so much, more a little bit tentative of the conversation that you were about to have, knowing that it could majorly impact your relationship. In your heart, you knew that Mapi would love you no matter what, but it didn’t calm the nerves inside of you as you pulled your keys from the ignition, pulled out the papers that your lawyer had given you and exited your car.

The whole walk from your car, to the elevator and then down the hallway to your apartment had your heart thrumming inside of your chest. Your hands were quite literally shaking as you pushed your key into the door.

You toed your shoes off at the door, slotting them down beside the door before slowly walking your way through the entrance. It wasn’t hard to find Mapi, she was right in front of you, sitting down at the island bench, patting Bagheera and eating a post training salad. You knew that there was one meant for you still sitting on the shelf of your fridge, from when the two of you had meal planned yesterday. She looked so undisturbed, with the afternoon light coming in through the gaps in the blinds and the general silence that you were about to break.

You announce yourself by slinging your bag down against the wall, a loud enough noise that seems to wake Mapi from her happy daze.

She smiles as soon as her eyes set on you and it only makes the weight in your gut feel ten times heavier and the pain in your heart ten times worse.

You wanted to turn around and walk right back out the door you’d just walked through, but you couldn’t, not with the way that Mapi looked at you, like her whole day had been made by your appearance.

“Hola bebita, how was your meeting?”

Mapi’s smiling ear to ear, quite literally, you swear you can see every single one of her teeth. It had hurt you to lie to Mapi about where you were going today, telling her that you’d had a crucial appointment with your manager about some media things, it wasn’t a direct lie. You had met with your manager, instead of it being positive though, it had been quite the opposite.

You didn’t have any words to reiterate to Mapi, so instead you just picked up the papers that were tucked away in your hands and placed them down on the island infront of her.

Mapi looked at you with confusion for a few seconds.

“Just read them, you’ll understand it more once you have.”

Mapi didn’t hesitate, picking up the first piece of paper and scanning over it, before moving onto the second, then the third and so on, till she’d made it through the entire stack.

You stood anxiously on your toes the whole time, balancing from one foot to the other as you contemplated how Mapi was going to reply to this sudden change.

When she did finish, she looked up at you, a lot of questions hidden behind her curious eyes.

“I’m resigning, or requesting they don’t call me up. I don’t want to play for a federation that doesn’t care about me. I’m sorry I didn’t do it earlier, but I wasn’t ready and I’m sorry I’m bother you with it now but I’m also sorry I didn’t tell you about it earlier, I met with my lawyer for the first time today to sign the documents and write my statement. If it all goes to plan then they should be out in the next week. I don’t want to do it anymore, I can’t do it anymore, I’m sorry.”

Mapi blinked a few times, like you’d just blindsided her completely, and you figured you had.

“I didn’t even really know it was happening until after last camp, and I just realised that I was so exhausted and so tired and so sick of it all that I couldn’t do it again. I should have done it earlier, I should have been a part of it all from the start but I was scared and I still am scared Maps. This is supposed to be my job, I’m supposed to be grateful for the opportunities I’m given and yet I feel like I’m a fraud and I’m lying when I say that because I’m not grateful and I’m not happy and I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t. I’ve been praying every night that I get injured, so that I get a break like Ale, and I don’t want to feel like that anymore.”

Mapi just stood up and pulled you into her arms, silencing the rambling and making you realise that you were now crying again.

She slowly led you towards the couch, bringing you into her arms as you tried to take control of yourself.

It felt like every piece of anguish, every piece of fear, every piece of internal hatred was slowly being pulled from your body and it felt so good, like you were somehow being healed.

Mapi wiated until you were coherent enough, until you felt more resurfaced, and less like the bloodn was rushing through your ears and every though of self-doubt was spirally through the different ridges of your brain.

“Princesa, you’ve made this decision for you, si? Not because of me, not because of anybody else, because you believe this is best for you?”

You nodded into her chest, enjoying the feeling of your own skin pressed directly to hers.

“I’m sick of them making me feel this way Maps, I don’t like it, I don’t think it’s right.”

Mapi’s body was surrounding you, her scent, her feel, her everything, and it was all you’d needed today, everything that Alexia had assured you would make you feel better.

Mapi’s salad was forgotten on the counter.

Bagheera was somewhere else.

It was just the two of you, just the two of you to face everything.

“We’re put into boxes, as women, men try to make us be everything and yet nothing. It’s not right, we’re expected to be as good as the men, but we have to behave eloquently, say our pleases and thank yous and never be ungrateful for the piss poor conditions we put up with. We’re supposed to be passionate, but we’re not allowed to over react in any way. We can only underperform, not overperform. There are no expectations for us, because we’re women and we’re supposed to be worse than the men, but they’re are also so many expectations for us to meet. It’s okay for you to be done with that, there is nothing wrong with you saying no to constantly being abused. You’re not a fraud bebita and I’m here for you no matter what. You’re my girlfriend first, a person second and a soccer player last. It doesn’t matter, none of it matters, you matter, you’re feelings and how you feel is what matters.”

Mapi’s hand pulled your head from her neck, her lips connecting with your forehead with ease.

“I’m not doing it anymore Maps. I want to be strong, I want to say no. I want to be a part of the right side of history. I don’t want to sit around pretending everything’s fine when it’s not fine. It’s nowhere near fine and until there is a change it won’t be.”

Mapi nodded, pressing a series of kisses to your forehead.

“Then we’ll work it out, you’ll keep me in the loop and we’ll figure it out together, no more hiding these big feelings from me. We’ll go and see our therapists and take soe time off and do whatever you need to feel safe and happy, because what matters is you, nobody else, si?”

You nodded your head once again, enjoying the same smile that her face was covered in. her lips migrated down to your cheeks, pressing kisses to the rosiest parts, pushing the tears away.

“I’ve got you bebita, we’ve got each other, we’re going to be fine, we all are.”

[abidethetempest]

FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. I HAVE FINISHED ONE ELIKSNI SENTENCE OF THE NULL COMPOSURE LORE TAB.

here it is, in all it's this-took-me-like-4-hours glory:

"Ikleydem nama’ir'viikor ibar iisrohkamraskas mah’azeyr ke’hiir aadekspriist en ma’shak zeth'iir niikanya braakem."

its the first line of the tab, "The five Splicers sat motionless around the small access point that jutted from the dark stone."

Whoo! That sentence alone ended up adding about 22 words to my lexicon! Going by how much work just this one sentence was, I'll have the whole lore tab done in about a month, so uh buckle up for the long haul folks haha

some fun details below!!

"en" is a relative pronoun (for those of you in the audience who are not total linguistics nerds like me, that's a word meant to introduce a relative clause, such as in English the words "that, which, who, whose" etc). I was particularly inspired by how Irish and Welsh do this, with a relative pronoun for direct and indirect objects. I have not decided what the indirect relative pronoun is yet.

iisrohkamrask is my word for Splicer, and literally translated it means "machine-weaver". very proud of that one, ngl

my rough draft for plurals is that the final vowel of the noun being pluralized is duplicated at the end of the noun and then -s is added! You can see that in action in the sentence above actually, in the word for Splicers. (I'm gonna make a post about plurals soon I think, because it's a little more complicated than just what I've got here.)

I have the very basic skeleton of a number/counting system. Fun fact: it's dozenal aka base 12, because Eliksni have 12 fingers! I considered using senary (base 6) instead, but I liked base 12 more in the end. Huzzah, math! All I really have fleshed out right now is a few numbers and that when numbers are used as adjectives they get an -r suffixed on the end. Historically, they were treated the same as any other adjective and got the full -iir/-hiir suffix, but due to how frequently they were used they mutated into shortened forms for ease of speaking. Sorry, got a little carried away there haha, I just really love adding details about Eliksni's history and all its little quirks.

Date: 7-23-22

[showtoonzfan]

So to sum up, here’s what Viv did to Ken regarding the document:

1. Saw their fanart of Cherri Bomb, asked if she could use their pose as a reference for Cherri’s character sheet, but instead traced the pose and despite saying she’d give credit, never did.

2. Excuses the fact that her idea for Sir Pentious’s third eye being an emote to him was a copy of Ken’s character they refer to as “TF”. Ken mentions it made them uncomfortable and suggested that his hat be an AI or something Pen created himself, but obliviously in the final product of the pilot, it was never explained what Sir Pen’s hat was or why he had it.

3. MOST importantly, NEVER credited Ken for their involvement with writing the Hazbin pilot. Viv goes to Ken multiple instances, admitting she isn’t the best at writing and only comedy, and needs help. She shares some ideas with Ken, and here are the following ideas and scenes that Ken came up with THEMSELVES that appeared in the final product of the pilot:

The joke scene where everyone laughs at Charlie, but Angel dust is brought up with her proudly saying he’s making great progress, only to cut to him on the news helping Cherri out and everything being screwed up for her, saying “oh shit” or “oh fuck”.

Angel being the only patron of the hotel, and only being there for a free room, with Vaggie and Charlie scolding him that he would change and him not caring

LITERALLY WAS THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH ALASTOR APPEARING IN THE PILOT AND WANTING TO INVEST IN THE HOTEL BECAUSE HE’S BORED.

Alastor and Husk knowing each other PERSONALLY and Alastor being the one who hired Husk to help

The joke scene where someone brings up that they’re trying to help sinners not encourage this stuff and Angel immediately says “shut up we’re keeping this”-

The joke scene of Angel telling Al he can do the deed and Al immediately going “haha! No!”.

Came up with the idea that Al’s introduction on who he is should be through Angel asking Vaggie and came up with the “wait you don’t know him?” - “eh not big on politics”- dialogue.

Alastor’s line of “If I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so already”-

And yet, despite being responsible for these jokes and plot threads, when Erin had confronted Viv about being credited, Viv had all this bs to say:

At first she rambles on about how she didn’t credit because apparently the stuff Ken came up with was early draft shit? Despite the fact that everything I listed above was in the actual pilot? And then didn’t want to credit them because she wanted to make a “promotional” post despite Spindlehorse not even being created yet and Ken had every right to ask for credit since it’s true that people DO assume that Viv does all this stuff by herself. And apparently telling everyone what members did what is too much for Viv, because Ken’s getting paid anyway so that makes it okay! Then Viv being Viv thinks Ken is attacking her and pulls the poor pity me card simply because she couldn’t understand what Ken was asking her I guess, but I suggest y’all read the entire doc because I’m scratching the surface, I just bring this up because the writing was the most important part.

4. Blacklisted and talked horrible of Ken behind their back. Ken was hesitant and late into signing the document, but eventually Viv had started to speak negatively of Ken to other members, calling them an abuser ect:

Again, read the document for full context, but this is just fucking awful, especially since at the same time when this was happening, Viv had been talking to Ken at the time and being all nice. It’s just amazing how awful Viv sounds, how she thinks Ken is out to get her and her show, all for wanting credit and wanting to make sure they didn’t sign their rights and characters away. Someone who had literally helped Viv on the pilot and was there for her in a vulnerable time of need, got treated like dirt, and it is NOT okay.

Please spread the document link:

[tumblingghosts]

Hi!! Had a time travel idea lately and felt like you were the best to ask. So what if where we go forwards instead of backwards and Academy!Clemensia ends up in the future, sometime around the 74th games?

Regardless, she's travelled to a future where her future self no longer alive. How would her friends & family react? Would she be killed off by President Snow quickly?

Haha you can decide whether this pre or post snake bite Clemmie.

oooh academy clemmie travelling forward in time :D !!

it took a while to draft a response for this, but i have thoughts for several different scenarios-

i. pre snake clemmie facing president snow

clemensia is pretty disoriented landing in the future. she still recognizes the capitol, but she doesn't know where in the capitol she is. none of the buildings match up to what she knows- it's been built up to what it had been before the war, but grander. she's able to ask for directions to her house, confused by the fashion of everyone around, but when she gets there, it's being lived in by someone else. that unsettling feeling she had been trying to ignore can no longer be suppressed. she doesn't know where she is or what happened.

it takes more asking around to get anywhere. there's a lot of bustle about the hunger games, and she can't remember anyone looking forward to it as much as these crowds. but she does end up seeing a broadcast of president snow and that's her first real lead. it doesn't take long to piece together the old man that is shown as president, the lack of president ravinstill, and "74th" hunger games. she knows her way to the presidential palace. she's been there to play with felix on more than one occasion. clemensia gets turned away by the guards at first, but manages to use her Dovecote Charm(TM) to at least get the guards to pass on a message to president snow.

"clemensia dovecote seeks an audience." and snow is curious enough to look at the camera footage at a very young, very alive clemmie asking after him. he agrees to meet with her, and she's escorted to his office to talk with him. clemensia trusts coriolanus as a friend- but the man in front of her? it's not quite just the difference in age or strong smell of roses. maybe it's the look in his eyes that makes her wary. regardless, she doesn't bring it up, and if he notices anything, he doesn't either.

there are the general questions of "how did you get here" and "what's the last thing you remember" alongside "president snow now, is it?" and "you're doing rather well for yourself, it seems" - but beyond that, is the pressing matter of the hunger games, on both sides. on clemensia's side, they've been assigned tributes already, and she's a bit jealous that coriolanus is paying so much attention. she asks- teasing, rhetorically- if reaper had won those games. the look she receives in return is so sour that she changes the topic swiftly. instead, she asks after the current games, what all these changes and "excitement" is about, and snow explains.

snow is looking at her like she's something to be kept, and clemensia is looking at him and trying to parse where exactly coryo is in the face and actions and mannerisms of the man before her. she's treated as a guest, in the following days, though is met with no one but avoxes, and sees no other capitolites besides coriolanus, on occasion. she's getting more wary of it all by the day.

meanwhile, seneca crane's actions of allowing two victors of the hunger games are giving snow a headache. he's compartmentalizing. he's realizing that clemensia, as she is now, is a risk. on some level, he thinks (he knows) she wouldn't quite agree to how he sees things, the means by which he had gotten into power. he won't admit to himself that they were wrong, but he thinks, it would be terribly unfair if clemensia were to have to come to this kind of shock. and besides, she's a tether to a childhood that he'd taken great lengths to bury and rewrite, without the age to teach her of the kind of digression he wants from her. snow considers his options and decides on a course of action.

clemensia is feeling rather boxed in. she's provided with food and amenities, but all channels on the television seem to be covering the hunger games. "it's the biggest event of the season!" says every single broadcast she flicks through. there's some romance scene playing out between the tributes from d12. she kindly requests to talk with snow again. snow "concedes" to her request. clemensia agrees to discuss further over tea. there is little discussion had.

time progresses: katniss everdeen sparks a revolution. snow tunnel-visions on the emergence of a mockingjay. anyone who spotted a young, dark-haired girl seeking out an audience with the president just a short few weeks ago before the 74th hunger games bears dual-victors know well to keep their mouths shut. it was only rumor, after all, and she was never seen again besides. clearly, it not a topic that was worth any interest.

ii. pre snake clemmie facing her friends and family

clemensia is lucky when she lands in the future. the people around her are startled by her sudden presence, but they recognize her and she turns to the person who had spoken her name. she doesn't recognize the person who says it. not quite. but-

"festus?" (clemensia doesn't know it yet, but felix and iphigenia have died years ago, persephone was killed shortly after titus's games, and festus is at an awkward point where he's not quite friends with coriolanus anymore, but not in a place that makes him an enemy.)

after getting over the initial surprise of clemensia's arrival, they settle down enough to fill her in on what is happening. clemensia- the one that had grown and lived and married- is dead, and has been for years now. it was a "tragic" car accident, though there is suspicion of foul play. she learns that the other there are her husband and children, and further, why festus is meeting with them. with so much attention on the hunger games (and that is another topic that they need to catch her up on), it is easier to have these kinds of meetings in relative privacy. all eyes are on the arena, and everyone is gathering to watch the broadcast anyway.

clemensia learns of coriolanus turning to president snow, and hears out the suspicions that he was behind her death from people who have grieved her dearly. but she isn't that person. clemensia, eighteen and not yet graduated, is not the wife and mother and friend and confident that they have so dearly missed. but she is welcomed, and so clemensia stays.

she is made a secret, one that her family- the one that she is growing to know- keep hidden. she wants to talk to coryo, but sees well enough from his appearances on broadcast that president snow is a far cry from her dear friend. sometimes, she wonders if the risk of speaking to him might be worth it. she never voices it, and does not leave the house. she might not be recognized by the general populace, but it only takes one wrong person to look a little too closely, for word to get back to get to snow, for it to all fall apart.

she tries to get along with the men and women that are her future self's husband and children, but they're older than her, and she can't fill that role. they never ask her to, but it is an awkward adjustment, because none of them quite know how to interact. she fills a lot of her time seeking out answers to what happened to the people she knew, learning history and questioning how much has been rewritten.

in the off chance that clemensia makes it through the second revolution, i think it would be really cool to have her as one of the people that speaks to snow after his execution. he might think, at first, that she's a ghost of his past that has come back to haunt him, as an image of clemensia before the first point in their friendship that had fractured their relationship- the snakes- but those thoughts are quickly dispelled once they actually begin speaking.

by this point, clemensia has seen what he's become over the series of broadcasts in the aftermath of the d12 victors, in the announcement of the second quarter quell, as the rebellion escalates, but she thinks she knows him enough to believe him when he says that he didn't drop those bombs on the capitol children and medics. (festus hadn't made it past the revolts in when the rebellion picked up. the man who'd been her future self's husband and his child had died in the explosion- clemmie mourns them, for the year that she's known them and how they'd become family).

clemensia leaves the garden, not having gained what she was looking for. she isn't quite sure what she's looking for at this point- but she's not yet twenty at the end of an era. she doesn't have a plan forward, nor does she know what she would do if she could go back to the point she left. could she face her classmates and friends knowing the fate that befalls them over nothing but snippets of eulogies? there's no place to hide anymore, just a path ahead. as panem rebuilds, she does her best to rebuild a life as well.

iii. post snake clemmie landing in the future

similar to the start of scenario i., except clemmie sees "president snow" and wants nothing to do with him. how can she trust coriolanus when the scales on her skin are more than enough reason to be wary? the fact that he's president and "proudly announcing" the 74th hunger games is just additional reasons to stay away. she does get a couple of compliments for the scales, which she does her best to conceal, and it only serves to make her a bit more paranoid and wary when she first arrives - it's horrific, what was done to her, and how could anyone say that they're lovely?

she's been at the mentor chair of the 10th hunger games, and she's seen the end of it- reaper collapsing after being tired out by lucy gray, and coriolanus disappearing to d12 to supposedly be punished, but also rumors are flying that he's chasing lucy gray there. there was never the chance to rekindle their friendship because clemensia was sent forward before he ever returned. as far as she knows, coriolanus served out his twenty years as a peacekeeper- and climbed his way to presidency after his mandatory service was over.

clemensia does get more oriented as she figures out that she's in the future and how the culture has been shaped in the decades that she's jumped past. she does her best to conceal the scales, but finds that people find her odder for trying to hide them than for having them. she's cautious, and also worried that talking to the wrong people might get the attention of snow. she tries to reconcile coryo with the president overseeing all the glamor of these new hunger games. she recognizes names- crane, heavensbee- but is unsure if there's anyone she can even seek out.

she's able to get food and temporary places to stay with her charm and the kindness of strangers- using a fake name in an attempt to keep her anonymity. she gets recognized anyway. let's say it's lysistrata this time. clemensia is avoiding hospitals as much as she can, but maybe their paths cross when clemensia is out trying to find a new place to stay. lysistrata initially thinks that clemmie is one of the dovecote children and greeted her with that name- clemensia doesn't realize that lysistrata is talking to her, but she turns at the familiar voice anyway. it's at that point lyssie realizes that oddities are afoot, and invites clemensia home to figure out what's going on.

lysistrata is hesitant to believe that clemensia is actually clemensia from the summer after the 10th games, but after a short conversation, there are no other explanations. it's pretty similar to scenario ii., with clemensia being hidden, but this time she's a bit more involved in efforts against snow, both because of her own animosity and because lysistrata is involved with the rebels. it would definitely make for an interesting (and possibly more hostile) interaction in the rose garden (compared to ii.) if clemmie makes it to that point in this case.

iv. clemensia back in the past in the aftermath

clemmie lands back in the moment she "left" after her trip to the future and it is a- complicated ordeal. she's back with her alive parents (and potentially alive reaper depending on the scenario). she knows where things end up, but she doesn't quite have the same personal stake in it as she would have if she had lived through it herself, rather than being told of or reading through the events that have taken place. there's varying levels of wariness depending on if it's pre- or post-snake bite clemmie.

i think she would likely seek out her friends or parents if it were post-snake bite and fill them in (not on the time travel, but of the situation with gaul/coriolanus/snakes) so it's much harder for him to integrate back into capitol society when he gets back from d12. maybe she spreads rumors about what really happened to lucy gray and sejanus- clemensia doesn't actually know that coriolanus is responsible for their disappearance/death, but the suspicion is enough to cause some damage. maybe she's the "sympathetic ear" for him amidst all of these "mysterious" rumors before she gives him the treatment from what's in a name?

for pre-snake bite clemmie, she's returning from either getting killed by snow or after having a conversation before his execution, so her opinion of him is still pretty low. i like to think that this leads to her being more invested in reaper & being a better mentor in turn- she's somewhat motivated by spite and trying to undercut coriolanus's efforts with lucy gray. (she likely doesn't know that lucy gray won the 10th games here, but it's more the principle of the matter.)

whether this spares her from being bitten or not is up to debate. maybe her being around reaper more means she ends up (inadvertently) preventing arachne being killed. if not, maybe her wariness of coriolanus keeps her from lying to gaul- she debates whether it's more dangerous to admit to not doing the work vs considering that coriolanus poisoned her (scenario i) and might throw her under the bus even if he says "it's fine" to claim they collaborated on the essay.

i do think that, in any scenario, she would be pretty rattled to know that the games have continued on for decades after, especially since they're waning in popularity at the time of the 10th games. if not for the children dying, then because of how much they have been played up for entertainment just puts a bad taste in her mouth (given her opinion during prof. demigloss's seminar that people avoided watching them bc they're gruesome) which gets reinforced when she thinks about reaper dead/potentially dying.

thanks for the ask medea!! :D

[fairyhaos]

"if anyone else wants to come and discuss the colours i put for the members in my inbox.... yall can RUN here i wanna talk about it so bad" all you had to do was ask, yena <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)>

i actually don't know if i have synesthesia (but when i was a kid i would associate personalities(?) with the letters of the alphabet as well as numbers ? ? idk how to explain it but 3 would be this rly sweet character whereas the number 4 would be a bit on the shyer/quieter side,,, does that make sense ? bye where is this going O⁠_⁠o) but when i first saw ur post about cheol being burgundy it was just so,,, aaa idk it just made so much sense ? it was so intriguing that my mind had already associated certain colors w some of them and idk you gave me something really interesting to think about ! ! i even ended up writing something for the 95line bcs i was so inspired !!

i chose wine red for cheol (i was so close to picking burgundy lmao), pastel pink for hannie and silver for shua <3 i made some of my irls even read that stuff and they liked it so will it be ok if i share it w you too ? ? i don't mind sending it to you on anon bcs i just wrote that for fun and quite frankly i don't think it's worth stealing anyway lmao ⊙⁠.⁠☉ but yeah !! pls lmk if you'd like to read those bcs this already got so long and i spoke nothing of value here rip,, and oh do you have any emoji anons ? i would like to be 🎐 anon if that's okay ? if not, then that's fine too >:) i hope ur day has been treating you well so far !! <3

hii omg let's talk colours!!

ive never seen someone associate numbers w personalities before (then again i literally know NO ONE else with synaesthesia lmao) but that's really interesting! all i know is that the even numbers are some form of orange/brown/yellow/red for me

i think synaesthesia is So intriguing and when i was a child i didn't even realize it was not normal to see colours for people and words until i told it to others and they were like "wait what, that's not normal" so yeah, im glad it gave you something to think about too!

wine red and burgundy omg you and me 🫶🫶🫶 that really is so close! the jihan colours are also vv interesting,, jeonghan as pink is something i can definitely see haha but for me jeonghan is literally everything colour and also transparent and clear at the same time so

and joshua! i have shua's synaesthesia just sitting in my drafts basically BEGGING for someone to request it bc i. i love his colour so much and it's so strong and even though i can't find any colour on earth that looks like the colour in my head perfectly i still love it so much. i think you'll love it too when i post it bc... again there's a crazy similarity here (but kinda in a different way,,, you'll have to see what i mean later on HAHA)

i would LOVE to see your writing for the 95 line! seeing the reasoning/ the feelings of the colours and how you describe it interests me so much. ive always wanted someone to share colours and reasoning of colours with, so of course!!!

this is such a long answer haha but also yes you can definitely be 🎐anon! i have a couple of named anons i think? but i haven't heard from any of them apart from the first ask they sent me so im not too sure <3

hope you're doing well too!

[stinastar]

MI6 Cafe Creators Tag Game

What work of yours challenged you when you were creating it? Well, I’m new to the fandom & only have one thing I’ve finished and posted in the fandom so far, lol. The first was pretty easy. So, I guess the 5+1 that I’m currently working on. The first four sections of the first draft came pretty easily, but I’ve been stumbling a bit on the fifth.

What is a fanwork you’ve seen which gave you a new headcanon about a character? Hmm... OH. I read a fic where Q loses a bet to Eve and has his nails painted gold, and was a bit obsessed with that visual. I don’t know if it’s exactly a hc, but I think he deserves gold painted fingernails and it would be utterly distracting and tantalizing. I encourage everyone to give him painted nails, as a treat :p

Is there a fanwork that you really want to make, but you haven’t started yet? So the 5+1 is something like 5 times Q unintentionally hurt James by reminding him of Vesper, and one time it was a comfort, but it ended up being from Q’s POV. So, because I’m a little angst gremlin, even though I haven’t finished writing it, I’m already thinking about writing a companion piece that’s from Bond’s POV for 300% more angst lol.

What fanwork of yours surprised you, and how? The first 4 parts of the 5+1 did in how easily they flowed onto the page, and I’m really happy with Q’s voice in it.

What themes/styles/subjects are common across many of your fanworks? Alternatively, what themes/styles/subjects are you most interested in creating? I think if you go all the way back through my fanworks the results are a bit skewed, because I did a lot of prompt writing. But I guess I tend to write pining, getting together, fluff, h/c & angst. I always have happy endings and I do not accept MCD lol. I throw MCD in the trashbin. The things that are born from my brain rather than prompts tend to always centre around angst / h/c. I am generally starving for angst, I really love a good angsty fic with a heap of comfort. I thought you were dying and confessed my love kinda flavour. I thought I lost you/almost lost you and will now never let you go 👌🏻👌🏻

What other fandoms do you create for, if any? I started in Good Omens and still write for it occasionally, I was most prolific in The Witcher and still have a ton of WIP for it that I may or may not ever finish, and I wrote one for Our Flag Means Death, which I have notes for a follow up for, again, if I ever actually write it... I have notes for a LOTR fic that will probably never see the light of day 😅 I also have some original projects, current WIP is MLM with a vampire. I also write poetry.

Is there an artist that you like to listen to while you create? Or one whose work always inspires you? No, I need music without lyrics when I write, or I get too distracted. ADHD, baby! I usually listen to lo-fi music while writing, occasionally something like “peaceful piano.”

Share a fanwork that you’ve found yourself thinking about weeks after reading/seeing it. Ok, again, I’m suuuuper new to the fandom. I read my first 00Q fic maybe a couple weeks ago. Mlle_Heloise’s general universe lives rent-free in my head. I adore their OC Stella. I read most of their fics in a bit of a fugue state, and literally read them back to back over the course of a couple days, so they’re a bit mushed together in my head. So I’ll just go ahead and say all of their works, lol. Then living on the faultline by @thestalwartheart was one of the tastiest angsty fics I’ve read in quite a while!

Finally, share where you post your works! I post all of my fics to both @stinawrites here and on AO3 under stinastar.

Tagging @aprettyspy @boffin1710 @slimysuckers I realize y’all might have done this ages back, but I’m new here, so... apologies, haha.

@spiritofcamelot @mi6-cafe

[ipsen]

1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12 and 13 for Holometabolism

Hoho, boy, here we go. After a read more!!

1 - What inspired you to write/update this work?

I once put in the tags of a post I can no longer remember that there are only two things that fuel the creative process: love and spite, which are ultimately the same thing-- a desire for something better than what came before.

I am not upset that Eto was scrubbed out of her role in TG:re. I am upset because she was ultimately treated as an afterthought by the story, and that most of her efforts are just attributed to Arima. It's one of Tokyo Ghoul's worst habits: giving men more pity and attention than women. And this is a story with really good women characters that fall flat simply because the story refuses to utilize them.

That is ultimately why I made Holometabolism.

4 - What’s the most challenging part about posting new/updated work? Do you find posting stressful or invigorating?

Posting as I go is probably the only way I can motivate myself to continue a multichapter work. I need some extra validation from sources besides myself, because personal passion can only get you so far in life. You must be uplifted by others in some capacity to, ultimately, make it anywhere.

The hardest part about posting is, to me, clicking the post button. Because I just know there's gonna be some formatting error or whatever that I missed and now I have to go back and FIX IT.

Oh well.

5 - How do you decide how long your fics/chapters will be? Do you have a word count goal?

For Holometabolism specifically, I liked to shoot for at least 4k words because that's a nice healthy number for me. It just seems like the longfics I myself enjoy have a similar word count per chapters, and I've just kinda grown accustomed to it.

But usually my process involves a vision, and then writing to get to said vision. I visualized an EtoKen ending for this fic and then went from there (I actually fleshed out Chapter 4 the most before any of the others, and it's the chapter that's retained the most of its original draft form). Word count isn't a generally a factor, but it does help keep me within a certain limit.

I'm all for a word vomit, but constraints are an integral part of quality. Also makes editing much easier when there's less to actually edit. I like editing the least.

7 - What part of this fic/chapter was the most fun to write?

Now here's a tricky question, because I have a lot of parts that I had so much fun, to the point where ranking them is honestly impossible.

I liked Eto and Touka's first conversation in Ch2. They are foils to one another, with similar backstories and personalities, but they approach things differently. Establishing that was important groundwork for their friendship later on in the fic.

Every time Hinami interacted with Eto was a joy. Hinami is this weird cross between Kaneki and Eto, like a strange brain child of theirs since she was influenced by both of them at key stages in her life.

Ch4's climax (haha) is near and dear to my heart. Not my best work by a longshot, but a very important piece that I'll cherish for a long time. Reconciling your ugliness and bearing it in the hopes for something better is something I want to believe I can do too. So I wrote two people doing it (haha).

Ch5's ending!! I loved taking "I am a ghoul" and making it a positive, awesome slogan! I felt bad having to follow it up with Ch6, honestly. SPEAKING OF--

Eto and Furuta's conversation and "rematch"! So much fun. What better to demonstrate her character development than by having her confront someone she definitely hates? Gotta pat myself on the back for that one.

8 - Which line/paragraph are you most proud of? Why are you proud of this?

Tricky question #2, I see. Well, if I have to pick one, then:

“Please don’t die, Eto,” [Hinami] choked out.

Eto pursed her lips. “Why?”

A few tears dropped onto their hands, coalescing into a small puddle on Eto’s knuckles. “Because… Because I’m not ready to say goodbye.” Hinami pressed their hands against her forehead. “Please… Even if you can’t smile, or laugh, or cry… Live.”

I intended this to be the turning point for Eto's character in this EtoKen fanfiction. A sin, to some, to not have the love interest be the one to start the redemption journey.

Hinami is another one of Eto's foils who is also in the unique position of being capable of holding real and sustainable affection for her. It was important to me to showcase that that was what it was: real, genuine love. Because Hinami, besides Kaneki, is the only person Eto would actually believe in 99% of circumstances, since the girl is both similar to Eto and honest with herself.

12 - What do you hope readers will take away from this work?

"You are worth it, even if you don't think you are." "There's always a little bit of hope for everyone." "Even if you can't smile, laugh, or cry... Live."

Life is mostly good, I like to think, and I wanted to underscore that belief with this fic. I want people to know that hope is stronger than despair, and that it is hope for the future and yourself that drives positive change. Something like that.

13 - Are there any cut lines/scenes from this work? Why did you cut them?

I have an entire document dedicated to "scenes that were Good to me, but either didn't flow properly with the story or just contributed very little to the progression of those involved." There's at least one scene per chapter, too.

I might actually post some of them here on tumblr someday, when I'm feeling enough energy to format each LOL

--

That's everything! Thanks for the ask!

[clanoffelidae]

Popping back on to check like I said I would. If anyone else wants to keep in touch at all for the next while shoot me a message and I’ll be back in a couple days and can give you my discord. (This really is an open offer to anyone I swear lol, not a ‘MUTUALS ONLY’ deal or whatnot lol) I know I probably should’ve waited until later in the day but it was hanging over me so here I am.

I’ll try and write up that larger post I said I would while I’m gone these few days so I can leave that as my new pinned while I’m out for however long I’ll be gone after that.

If you see me online in a couple hours it’s just because I started working on the larger post earlier so it’s in my drafts and since I’m on mobile right now I can’t copy it easily, so I’ll just be grabbing it while I’m on my laptop at some point later is all.

I’ve said it 50 times now but I’ve slept and eaten and surprise, still hurts, so I’m saying it again:

Don’t take a stranger’s nonspecific posts and immediately use them to accuse them of things when you haven’t even tried to talk to them about it. You don’t know that person. Not only might you be flat out wrong, you can also quite easily take someone’s moment of vulnerability and use it as a weapon against them, as it turns out. Even if you didn’t intend to, it’s about what you did.

No, I don’t think the people who did it are abject, horrid monsters just looking for their next victim. I don’t think it was intentional at all. And I’m not going to malign them as having done it intentionally or claim they’re horrible and no one should ever talk to them again, they’re not, I truly believe they have overall good intentions and are trying to do good in the world. I really and truly wish them all the best with their project because it’s charity work and there’s little more noble than that. When they decide the charity I’ll pop in to toss a few preorders worth of money to the charity so I can support the cause like I wanted to in the first place. If you know what I’m talking about then please, don’t let my experience with the organizers/possibly other contributors stop you from supporting the cause they’re working towards. It’s not going to stop me, and between you (whoever is reading this and knows what this whole thing is about) and me I have the more reason to considering, so don’t let it stop you either.

But to use a different you, if you’re reading this, be you the ones who accused me or the one(s) who reported my posts to them, were thoughtless. You didn’t even try to communicate about it. You just decided your version of the truth and went with it. You were thoughtless, and that made you cruel.

You not only accused me of things it turned out I didn’t do, you took a moment of vulnerability and used it to insult and belittle me. Even if you didn’t intend to, even if you thought you had it right and were doing the right thing; it’s still what you did, and you were wrong.

Just like the things we discussed and I agreed with once I was sure I had what you were saying right, I did not intend to do those things but they’re what I did, and I accept that and am sorry for it. Just because something wasn’t intentional doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, that’s the funny thing about accidents and mistakes.

Don’t do that to someone else. It’s too late for me, but don’t jump to conclusions next time. Talk to people. Communicate. If they bite then defend yourselves; but don’t treat them like rabid animals when they’ve not once attacked you directly, tried to insult you, or even said a single negative thing about you.

I’ll be back in a few days to respond to any messages for those who want to keep up. I’ll schedule this to reblog once tomorrow and once on Monday to try and make sure anyone who wants to shoot me a message sees it. Take care y’all, this is between me and a handful of specific people, I’ve got absolutely no qualms with the rest of you nerds (affectionate) and promise I don’t bite. (<— she’s lying she has rabie-*GUNSHOT* <— haha ignore that I’ve no idea what was going on there haha what silly thing to say anyway come closer)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Oooooh icic! That definitely makes sense now that you mention it too I’m even more curious…if you got a request for a character that was really obscure or say you had 0 interest in would you reject it? Or would you just like grit your teeth and try to write something LOL I know before you said that both your Rin and Sae fics were requests (I think apologies if I remembered wrong) and you also had some Hiori requests too and iirc those characters were all kinda uhh “new” (for lack of a better term) to your usually characters..? And esp with the itoshi “hate” neutrality since they aren’t usually characters you’d write of your own volition, like imagine if someone requested igaguri or like ego what would happen? LMAO

I’m no fic writer but I remember when I had to write essays I’d slap out the first like two paragraphs keep writing and in the end I’d always go back to rewrite the first two because the flow of my writing established itself in the latter parts LOL yeah I think beginning parts are usually less refined on the first draft. At least for me, the inspiration ends up flowing midway through when I finally have a solid idea of what I’m going for HAHA

I’m genuinely hoping we get a lot more spinoff content generally….I know some series make more spinoff content after their series ends so I hope we continue getting more bllkverse expansion soon!!! I seriously wanna know what happened in the other stratums in NEL and the first selections too

Yeahhh it’s wild I think actually there’s a French version of the Bible??? Which is why I’m like what’s the English team doing LMAO Reo getting voted for all the good ones was hilarious like even everyone in bllk is like yup bros got it all (Isagi’s comment was FOUL LMFAOOO) and igaguri being last in everything HAHAHAHA

FR!!! Im just sitting here waiting for a Karasu awakening like PLEASE man has been sitting there busting his ass carrying the team please give him a chance!!!!

Also speaking of Karasu…..ok this is gonna be kinda really random but I actually stumbled upon one of @/i-am-not-strange’s posts but FOR THE LIFE OF ME I can’t press on their profile??? Either my fingers are broken and I’m pressing on something wrong or Tumblr is just flipping out but do you have my idea what art they’re referring to in their recent post about like Karasu and Hiori swapping bodies…? I’m sure it’s not canon but I can’t lie and say I’m not intrigued LOL I would go ask them myself but whenever I try to go to their profile it either a) does nothing b) crashes??? I’ve never had this happen before (like I’m on your profile just fine) but???? Anyways…sorry for having to ask you here LMAO and no worries in advance if you don’t know it just caught my eye LOL

-Karasu anon

honestly i feel like i always cook 10x more with characters i don’t like/am unfamiliar with…maybe because it pushes me out of my comfort zone so i’m more willing to experiment?? like i think the instrument and white butterfly were probably my fav things that i wrote for my event (and honorary mention to seabird because it’s so cutesy) and both were for characters i was unfamiliar with!! lowkey i think i could go crazy with an igaguri or ego fic LMAOAO imagine an ego fic where you know him at his peak as a soccer player and watch his downfall (bonus points if you’re friends with noel noa/connected to that weird ass dynamic somehow) OR an igaguri fic that plays into his weird religious trauma of being forced to be a monk if he can’t play soccer?? mostly it’s treated as a joke but what if it was taken seriously…PLSSSS i need to STFU why did i just genuinely come up with plots for EGO and IGAGURI 😭 suffice to say i would literally write for any character no matter how obscure/how little i personally care abt them 🤩 i try not to let my biases show in my writing either and hopefully i’m successful in that!! like my itoshi neutrality doesn’t rlly manifest in the fics i’ve written for them i think!! so even if someone requested for one of my opps i wouldn’t let my distaste impact how i write/how seriously i take the story

omg that ALWAYS happens to me whenever i do essays too!! that’s why i hated high school writing when our teachers made us write our thesis first…like yes i can write a thesis for you but i can guarantee that i won’t follow it and it’ll be entirely different by the time i submit it so it follows the contents of what i actually wrote vs what i INTEND to write!!

blue lock has SUCH an expansive cast and it’s also sooo popular as a manga so just from a business/financial standpoint it would make 0 sense not to do spin-off stuff!! like i’d even read a sae spin-off of him in spain if they don’t want to go through the bllk program again and want to focus on one of the itoshis…we’ve followed rin pretty closely and know his mentality pretty well so idt he needs a spin-off but depending on how in depth the main manga goes on sae i think a spin-off of him could be fun!! or like shidou or smth…OR AN EGO ORIGIN STORY SPINOFF OMG I’D DIE FOR THAT ACTUALLY like him and young noel noa and their rivalry?? i don’t even like ego that much but i think it would be cool to see his backstory be explored like that!! also an episode anri but we know we’re never getting that sadly

FRRR why is there a french version but not english?? maybe it’s because bllk isn’t as popular here yet?? hoping that changes with season 2 though…i’m not saying jjk fanbase levels of popular because that’s when you get the crazies but def bigger than what it is rn

THEY GAVE HIORI AN AWAKENING THEY CAN GIVE KARASU ONE TOO!! especially because he was so crucial to hiori’s awakening…like come on now kaneshiro be a good author and put some parallels between mr talented but doesn’t care and mr mediocre but works hard 😒

HAHA THAT’S SO WEIRD tumblr stays tweaking 😭 i was able to go on her profile fine so maybe there’s smth going on with your app?? honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a tumblr issue because for how old this app is it’s surprisingly unusable at times 🫣 maybe it’s working for me because she’s one of my mutuals?? idk 😰 also i know the post you’re referencing but do not know what art she was talking abt…i can send her an ask abt it and then link her response in the next ask of yours i answer and hopefully that works!! if not i could also add a screenshot into my answer LMAO

[lazzarella]

It's now been six months since I started my journey into Asian BL series*, and there's nothing I like more than making lists and procrastinating (with a dash of navel gazing), so I'm here to ramble a bit haha (okay this got really long 😅)

*I did realise later that I had watched the movie cut of Wish You some time back, but I'm not counting it :P

I posted an overall top 10 when I hit 40, I think, but here's my updated version:

1. My Personal Weatherman and Moonlight Chicken tied for first place :P

2. KinnPorsche

3. Cherry Magic (Thailand)

4. Wandee Goodday

5. Boys Be Brave!

6. Old Fashion Cupcake

7. A Tale Of Thousand Stars

8. Cherry Magic (Japan)

9. We Are

10. Only Friends and Jack O' Frost tied for 10th place because I can't decide

Now for the navel gazing:

So, I had heard of some of these shows for a while, but I was dumb and couldn't figure out how to watch them XD then, someone on Reddit asked for recs for gay period dramas, and another person recommended I Feel You Linger in the Air to them (I still haven't finished this) and that sent me down a rabbit hole, which eventually led to me watching Moonlight Chicken at the end of January. I was super anxious and depressed at the time (compared to my usual levels of depression and anxiety) and it was exactly the balm I needed! And then I proceeded to watch 49 more shows in the following six months lmao

Also, as much as I sometimes love a sad love story, I was getting frustrated that so many queer romance movies were ending with the main couple apart—maybe everyone wants to make their own version of Weekend, I don’t know haha (Sidenote: I swear there were more HEA in 90s/00s queer films but maybe that was selection bias) Like, don't get me wrong, they're basically all made by queer creators, and I don't want to police what they make (I have a whole rant about this, but I'll save it for another day...or my drafts lol) But as a rom-com lover I was getting bored of watching the same 10 movies/shows over and over for my HEA lmao so, delving into Asian BL series where the majority seem to have happy endings??? Omg, it's been HEAVEN!

As far as adjusting, there wasn't really much to do. I only note this, because a few people I've chatted to elsewhere seemed to treat it like I was delving into completely new territory or something??

Anything that isn't just your standard rom-com or romance trope, I was probably familiar with due to many years in transformative fandom. And the things I wasn't familiar with were mostly cultural things (which I'm still learning about) or different stylistic choices (like the sound effects, which I love). The fandom culture, though, has been a little more of an adjustment, especially the fan service and fixed couples (I think this is a super cute idea, tbh—it feels like watching the gay Fred and Ginger or Myrna Loy and William Powell et al, you know? By the by, Loy and Powell made 13 films together!)

I think overall I'm more drawn to Thai series, but the Japanese ones, when they hit emotionally, they hit like nothing else. Like nothing I've ever watched really. I think it's the way they do longing and yearning combined with feelings of low self worth that's just sooooooo good and delicious to me. But, yeah, there's something about the Thai series that I'm really drawn to! I've started watching more Thai movies in general and listening to Thai music and, I don't know, I enjoy it all. I still need to delve into Taiwan and other countries, though

I've had so much fun with the series I've watched and learning little bits of different cultures and I'm excited to keep going and make my way through my intimidatingly long watchlist lol It's been hard not to let other people's opinions get me down, though—I've felt less embarrassed about enjoying rom coms on Letterboxd than I have since poking my head into BL spaces, but... I don't think I'll dwell on that XD

Anyway, here are all of the series I've watched ranked by country under the cut(an idea I borrowed from @/dramalets)

Thailand (average rating: 8.4)

1. Moonlight Chicken

2. KinnPorsche

3. Cherry Magic

4. Wandee Goodday

5. A Tale of Thousand Stars

6. Only Friends

7. We Are

8. Cupid's Last Wish

9. Manner of Death

10. Laws of Attraction

11. Vice Versa

12. Last Twilight

13. Enchanté

14. A Boss and a Babe

15. Lovely Writer

16. The Sign

17. Hidden Agenda

18. Bad Buddy

19. Not Me

20. Theory of Love

21. To Be Continued

22. Sky In Your Heart

Japan (average rating: 8.2)

(Using the English titles)

1. My Personal Weatherman

2. Old Fashion Cupcake

3. What Did You Eat Yesterday?

4. Jack O' Frost

5. Cherry Magic etc

6. My Beautiful Man

7. Love is Better the Second Time Around

8. Ossan's Love

9. Perfect Propose

10. My Love Mix-Up

11. Candy Color Paradox

12. I Cannot Reach You

13. Mr Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss

South Korea (average rating: 7.6)

1. Boys Be Brave

2. Blueming

3. Semantic Error

4. Love for Love's Sake

5. Choco Milk Shake

6. The New Employee

7. Love Tractor

8. Our Dating Sim

9. Bon Appetit

10. Roommates of Poongduck 304

11. The Director Who Buys Me Dinner

12. Love Class

13. Cherry Blossoms After Winter

14. Kissable Lips

And I'm currently watching:

Love Sea; Meet You at the Blossom; Only Boo!; The Trainee; This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans

[kerosenecrushh]

20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @sensitiveheartless (kind of, they left it open at the end to anyone who wanted to do it)

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

40, as of today!

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

79,131

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Bungou Stray Dogs, but I occasionally write for My Hero Academia and Sk8 the Infinity as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

tastes like candy

raw

Kinktober Day 4: Praise Kink

Kinktober Day 3: Dirty Talk

wanna get out of here?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yep, pretty much always! The only times I don’t are if someone leaves a one-word comment or I’m not sure how to respond lmao. I love when people show their appreciation for my writing, so I try to show that gratitude by replying!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wouldn’t even necessarily classify it as angst, but the Fyolai Blood Play fic didn’t exactly end with aftercare and cuddles.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much all my fics have happy endings. I hate sad endings with a burning passion, so as a treat to myself, I just don’t write them!

8. Do you get hate on fic?

I haven’t so far, thankfully! I have had people comment vague stuff about being “traumatized” by my work, but that’s mainly people who didn’t expect to find smut, I think.

9. Do you write smut?

Yepppp haha, in fact I’ve only recently branched out to writing SFW stuff.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven’t yet, but I wouldn’t rule it out for the future. I just haven’t felt inspired to write one so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but I have seen a fic that HEAVILY borrowed from one of mine. It pissed me off a bit, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that these things happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so. No one’s asked me if they could translate any of my fics, at least.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I’m curious what that would be like. So far I’ve only ever worked alone in the writing process, so think it would be challenging to adjust to working alongside someone. Again, not something I’d rule out though!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Man this is tough. Fun fact, I have a Pinterest board for ships with 26 subsections of specific ships, so there are plenty to choose from here. Soukoku and BakuDeku are ones I love to write and consume content for, but my favorite to actually write would probably be Ranpoe. They’re just so fluffy! I always feel better after writing a fic about them.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

There’s this one idea I had based on a BSD theory that ended up being wrong. It would essentially be a long multi-chapter fic where abilities were written out of existence, so the story restarts at the beginning and the characters all eventually find each other, even without abilities or past memories pushing them together. So, for instance, Kunikida would still be a math teacher; Atsushi would never have been kicked out of the orphanage; Yosano would (interestingly enough) be working at a candy shop; and so on. I don’t know that I’ll ever get around to writing it, since it’ll take a TON of research on the canon materials. I’ve started the planning phase but it truly is a mammoth of a fic. Link to my theory if you’re interested in the details.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think characterization is a strength of mine. I also typically have a first draft that’s like 95% ready to post, since I edit while writing. I usually do a quick read-through, change a word here or there, and post.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Non-character details (like setting). I get too caught up in the action! I can also be impatient with transitions between scenes, hence the massive amount of one-shots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’ve translated one word for a fic, but even that felt a bit cheesy when I did it. I try to avoid it, since there’s almost definitely native speakers out there cringing at literal translations and google translate errors in fics.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first one I wrote for was Bungou Stray Dogs, and that remains the one I write for the most!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Kinktober Day 31. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I must have read it at least 5 times now. I’m really proud of how it turned out.

Following @sensitiveheartless’s example, I hereby tag anyone who sees this and wants to do it! Have fun!

[imhereforscm]

Good morning princess ( because i want to be creative) 😘

Hello hello, pudding😚😚😚😚😚💕💕💕💕💕 (let's be creative together, haha!🌹🌹)

It's 12:36 over here✨

Aaaaand I had plans for today, but they're postponed for later—if they even happen at all—so now I'm sitting on my bed, all dolled up and careful not to ruin my hair and I don't even know the fate of this hang out!😭😭 I might be doing all of this for nothing.🥲

But yeah, I'm running on two hours of sleep and this time, it is not my fault.

I fell asleep yesterday around 10:00 pm and I woke up at midnight, after I had a bunch of nightmares one after the other.

When will Morpheus treat me nice for once??? (Greek mythology jokes, haha😚) Like- Hypnos already did the first move, it's your turn now, bro! Follow daddy's lead.😩😩 (No. Genuinely. Hypnos is Morpheus's father.)

And I wasn't in the mood to sleep again after all that😒

Btw, last night, I turned my phone off and hugged my stuffed owl tight, ready to head to sleep....

✨✨And a Hue fic idea rose.✨✨

So if all goes well, I'll be working on the Hue fluff for today and maybe even post it.😘😘

(also, yesterday I got a new book idea and my brain was like: "Let's work on it now, let's work on it now, let's work on it now, let's-" "We already have a novel for editing, another for translation and another one that's not even a complete first draft!" "So?" "... No. Just not yet. And—you don't even have a full plan! What are you going to work on?!" "Who said I'll work on it? I'll just leave you banging your head around and pulling out your hair, trying to come up with something, like I always do.")

I hope you all had and will keep having a wonderful day, babes!!😘😘😘💕💕💕💕

[shiroichiban]

once again because tumblr is an ASSHOLE they posted my draft before i was ready so to the anon that requested the aaron t teasing nsfw here it is and im sorry but my anger at tumblr is overriding my apologeticness rn >:(((

also the ask used she as a pronoun so i just made the reader female here :33

aaron t nsfw (small fic)~

please don't turn it up, please don't turn it up...

this thought kept running through your head as the continuous buzzing inside you persisted. you could feel your slick slowly build up and stain your panties as you only hoped it wasn't noticeable. inwardly you admonished yourself for wearing shorts today, but then again HE was the one who helped you pick out your outfit, that damn boy who was responsible for the mess you were in right now...

"so the boys requested we adjust the schedule so they can fit one more rehearsal in, do you think it's—!!" the intensity increased as you bit your lip and tried not to moan, tensing up and making your stance more rigid to make sure your knees didn't give out. don't cum don't cum don't cum, was your mantra at the moment as you took a deep breath, regaining your composure.

"are you alright (name)?" your fellow staff member asked concerned but you dismissed their worry with a wave of your hand.

no really, i'm not, i lost a bet and my boyfriend shoved a vibrator up my pussy, all i really wanna do is fuck myself on top of his dick right now!!

is what you would say but you simply smiled, "a-ahem, if you'll excuse me i think i need the toilet..." fuck your voice was slurring, before they could reply you ran towards the nearest bathroom.

you prayed your coworker hadn't heard the buzzing, or taken notice on how weirdly you were running, or had second thoughts about how weird your voice sounded, or—

breathing a quick sigh of relief as you neared the bathroom entrance, just as you were about to enter aaron t stood in front of the door, effectively blocking your way. "going somewhere hun?" he asked cutely but you knew that bastard was trying to get a rise out of you.

"nowhere babe... i just need to pee." you said as firmly as you possibly could, but all thoughts on keeping yourself looking normal went out the window when aaron t pulled out the small pink remote of your vibrator. "y-you perv don't just pull that out here—!!"

your admonishment was futile the moment your boyfriend turned the dial. you let out a breathy moan, as your legs finally gave out and let you fall into aaron t's arms.

"i don't like liars honey bun." he teased, "i know you sweetie, the moment you enter the bathroom you're gonna treat that vibrator as if it was my dick and get off on it right?"

as much as you wanted to deny his claims, you could only whimper as your pussy very clearly responded to his words by releasing another small squirt of cum. looking down at you, t smirked as he sneakily put his hand down your shorts, rubbing his fingers right against the wet spot in your panties making you moan again. "hmm so wet for me, i love how responsive your body is."

"like, i could just do this and—" aaron pulled at your panties, making them dig in to your already sensitive and soaked pussy, "haha, see? you came again!" you couldn't even keep track of the orgasms you just experienced in the past five minutes alone, but that didn't seem to matter to your boyfriend as he kept up his tirade on your body.

"aaron w-we're in public?!" you exclaimed, trying to glare at him but it was futile with how sweet your expression was; cheeks were completely flushed, eyes glossy, and breathing erratic to the point you barely looked mad. "what if someone finds us!"

"that's the thrill of it love, why do you think i even made the bet in the first place?" your boyfriend laughed as his hands ran up and down your body, "just look at you... god i'm so glad you let me pick your outfit." aaron then let his hands sneak up your shirt and into your bra, fondling your breasts to his hearts content. "although these shorts are definitely ruined, your wet spot's starting to show."

"w-what?!" you exclaimed panicked, trying to assess your bottoms but aaron t turned up that blasted remote again, taking away your ability of coherent thought. slumped against him with your pussy heavily overstimulated from the multiple orgasms, but still longing for the stretch of your boyfriend's dick inside you. "please, aaron i can't anymore..." you whimpered.

aaron t seemed surprise at your surrender, usually you'd have some cute witty quip to clap back at him with but now... he can't deny that he likes this side of you too, all horny and trembling, practically begging for release. your boyfriend was no monster of course, with how sweetly you begged for it would be so cruel of him to send you back to work in this state.

quickly whipping his head around the hallway, checking for anyone who may stray towards your direction, he smirked once he confirmed the coast was clear. shooting a text to aaron z about him being, ahem, preoccupied at the moment, he then hoisted you into his arms carrying you into the bathroom.

settling your pliant body onto the countertop, he grinned at his work, there was indeed a faint wet spot on your shorts although no one would notice it if they weren't really looking. yanking your shorts along with your panties down your waist, you watched your boyfriend's expression shift from playful to hungry in the span of seconds as he stared at your bare vagina.

unable to hold himself back, aaron t decided to take it upon himself to, per se, clean you up first. yanking the vibrator out of your well lubricated entrance, he savored the moan that left your lips before diving in with his tongue, devouring your sweet juices like a man starved as you held on to his head.

gripping aaron's hair tightly, you groaned as your pussy finally received its long-deprived pleasure, shoving your boyfriend even deeper into your core. covering your mouth as you tried to keep quiet, but aaron t wouldn't have that, a quick nip to your clit was all it took to drag another orgasm out of you making you whine in the process.

"baby, more..." you moaned but at your request aaron immediately pulled away, "aaron..." you whined but couldn't find the energy in you to pull him back in.

"you know what you promised, right sweetheart?"

no response.

aaron clicked his tongue as he looked at you firmly, "come on baby, you know what you promised. now tell me."

with a small sigh, you pouted and relented to his request, "you won't fuck me until tonight after we're done with work..."

the change in his demeanor was instant, satisfied with your response aaron smiled, "you'll just have to make do with this for now ok hun? i know you're my good girl so you'll be just fine." before you could question what 'this' was, aaron thrusted the vibrator back into your pussy on it's highest setting. thoroughly enjoying the view of you throwing your head back in pleasure as the pistoned the toy in and out of your wet cavern.

now if you thought this was the end of what aaron t had planned for you, you were sorely mistaken. leaning back into your vagina, you screamed when you felt aaron begin to tongue and nip at your clit, sending you into overdrive as you approached your climax. once you could no longer hold back, you felt your eyes roll back into your head as your pussy squirted all over your boyfriend. “s-shit…” you moaned, completely exhausted before looking back at your boyfriend. you couldn’t help but giggle deliriously as you looked at his completely drenched face.

“damn babe… remind me not to deny you too much unless i feel like getting squirted on.” he laughed as he pressed one last kiss to your clit, and lowered the vibrator’s setting before thrusting it back in to your sloppy entrance. you whimpered a bit, sorely overstimulated but innately satisfied as you laid on the countertop catching your breath, turning to aaron t who was currently drying his face with paper towels, “you mind putting my shorts back on babe, i’m kinda incapacitated at the moment.”

aaron laughed before complying, giving your nethers a quick wipe down before dressing you up. “need me to carry you to the break room?” he offered teasingly as you sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck, “well yeah i sure as hell need a break after someone fucked me through at least three orgasms with a vibrator.”

“aw c’mon babe you enjoyed it~”

“true but i would’ve enjoyed it just as much in private you perv.”

[delu-jean]

Omg I love your writing ❤ 💕 💞 not sure if you're still taking requests but can you do a fluffy one shot with midoriya and short reader uwu 💖

𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐱 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Deku x (fem!/reader) -> Fluff -> 1.2k

Synopsis: Deku dating a short reader!!

Notes: This was very cute!! I had it in my drafts for a while, and apologize for not posting things sooner. Thanks very much, and if anyone would like to submit a request for the 100 Follower Event, please press the hyperlink for the rules!! Enjoy ^^

"Hey Izu, could you help me reach that?" You asked, while reaching for a book. It was at the top of a shelf. Even with a step stool, you still had difficulty grabbing it. So, since Izuku was cleaning up, you thought it would be best if he helped you.

"Of course Y/n," he said, leaning over you.

In the process, he became a blushing mess, while you were trying not get  crushed. His right hand had pushed it aside, leading the hardcover to slip into his palm. After he handed the book needed, he then scratched the back of his head, feeling shy.

"T-There you go Y/n. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"No need Izu, although...you did almost crush me," you teased as he flared his hands.

"I-I DID!? I'M SO SORRY-"

"Don't be~. Besides, I was just teasing. It really wasn't that big of a deal," he then looked down guiltily, still feeling bad regardless.

"Izu-kun, don't worry. Now, let's go!"

---

You and Izuku had known each other for only a couple of years (being that you both met in middle school - UA). Even so, during that time, there was one thing that stuck out in your relationship, and that was...your height. You were extremely short compared to him, and even though he never held it against you, it was something you found irritable (from time to time). Wishing you could’ve been even an inch taller.

Growing up, people would compliment how cute you were, because of how short your body was. Even though you had nothing against being short, there were times where being tall would’ve been nice. Height was an advantage in the hero world, especially with your type of quirk. Since it required both speed, and much demand from your body, having longer legs, a larger torso, and even arms would’ve been nice.

Not only that...but there were times where you had seen taller women. Those who were so inspiring, and gorgeous. Lovely ladies who had circled their morale around their height. You never degraded yourself because of that, but then again, it would’ve been nice if such a gift was given. Those thoughts had run through your head from time to time. You weren’t sure if they were because of insecurity, nor envy. But regardless, your thoughts had drawn to the conclusion: “it would be nice, yet it’s not a necessity.”

And even on the days where you had wished it was, you remembered as to why you were content with such height. Though, your partner was not the main reason as to why you loved/disliked it, he was definitely a motive when appreciating your characteristic. Deku seemed to have adored you, no matter how small, different, or ordinary you were. He’d always appreciate, and love the factors you bestowed. On the days where you were uncertain of things, he’d always help by reassuring you. Your height being just one of the many conflicts he’d help you gain confidence from. He wanted you to know that he was there for you, no matter what. Comforting you in the utmost sweetest ways.

And on the days where you needed his words of admiration, he’d be sure to shower you in them. If it was specifically about your height, he would tell you how he thought your shortness was cute. How helping you to reach things wasn’t a chore, rather, a pleasure. And how when intertwining hands, he wouldn’t have to worry about his palms, and fingers being bigger. That was because your delicate, and elegant hands would always lay perfectly in his (though, his wording wasn’t exact, and he’d break into a rambling melt down).

He had always been gentle with you. Regardless if the situation called for it, it's just how he was. Wanting to treat you the way he sought best. He’d always compliment you subtly, making sure to be both sensitive, and respectful. Not wanting to make you upset, nor wanting to make any mistakes which he would have regretted.

“You look really nice in that. It suits your size.”

“You're not too small, it’s just a tad bigger. You’re not made to fit clothes, clothes are made to fit you. Here, try this instead. I think they’d suit your lovely eyes.”

“Do you need help? I can help you grab that.”

Though Izuku had said that, in his mind, he really wasn’t. He too at times did feel self-conscious about his height. Being 5’5 was considered short for guys his age, and well...he was sure that he was done with growing. Sometimes he woulSo, out of both that, and his respect for you, he never used it as a way to drag you down. Even in a joking matter, your height or anything disrespectful, would run through his head.

“If you need a stoll, I’m here. I may not be Mount Everest, but I’m the closest there is.” 

Though he was never made fun of for being “short,” he still felt like he needed to reach that expectation (the expectation of being tall). But with you, he never would have wanted you to feel that way. So he made it his priority for you to feel otherwise, and instead, encouraged something the both of you looked at to be a disadvantage.

“Izuku...you're so tall,” you said, while hugging the boy. His chin had lay on your head, as yours pouted in his chest.  

“Share a couple inches would you.”

“I don’t think I can do that,” he laughed, as you then looked at him seriously.

“Please Izu. I need it,” you said jokingly, yet determined.

“Y/n...you don’t need it,” he then kissed your forehead. Your initial joke...had now turned into something more serious, and sincere.

“You’re perfect no matter your height. So please don’t feel like you need to change, especially so drastically. Of course, if you want to change things that you can for your benefit, by all means, go ahead. But please don’t feel like changing the entirety of yourself is the answer...okay?”

He looked at you quite intensely. Though he had found it to be an intentful statement, you found it quite adorable. Seeing how much he cared, even when you were joking...made you smile. Izuku truly wanted you to see what he had seen in yourself, and you wanted him to know that you wanted the same. For him to know that you also wanted him to see how loving he was in your eyes. How sweet he could be, and how adorable he was when being your number one supporter.

You then cupped his cheeks. Though you needed to tip toe, it became less of a problem as he leaned down. You saw the red which flushed on his face, along with the rambles which scattered all over him. He seemed shy the closer you got, and unsure if what he said had offended you. He knew that your actions were out of affection, but even then did his thoughts linger. Wondering if he messed up, or misplaced his sense of words. Before you could speak, he first said:

“I...I’m sorry Y/n. I said something wrong, and I-”

“Izuku, you’ve said nothing wrong. If anything, your concern is both reasonable, and sweet.”

“S-sweet?” the boy questioned, now burying his face with his hands.

“Haha of course. As expected of my lovely izu-kun.”

“But am I as lovely as you say I am?...” he asked, feeling the opposite if anything.

“Of course you are, I’m not a liar now...am I?”

“Haha, of course not,” you then wrapped him in another tight hug, and regardless of the height which was far by much, the distance between your hearts was not. Both being very near, and dear.

[thesadboisguidetolife]

19 Questions and a Selfie

I got tagged by the sweet, kind, gorgeous @vidibit so here we go!!!

What do you prefer to be called? Haha so i actually dont have a preference. I kinda just leave it to whoever im talking to. That and a lot of Latinos just use nicknames for friends and ive had tons of those.

When is your Birthday? July 12. ♋ 😊

Where do you live? Haha ok but youre not getting my credit card number. I live in a suburb of Los Angeles, California.

Thing youre doing right now? I was working on some music and had The Birdcage playing as background noise when i first started on this but i put it in my drafts to finish later and now im at work lol

Four Fandoms that have piqued your interest? The Last Airbender for sure, Steven Universe is good, love me some Batman, Lord of The Rings too.

How has the Pandemic been treating you? I mean its been up and down. Got to spend a lot of time at home which was really really nice. Lost a lot of people, which......wasnt so nice. Also not doing that thing anymore where i put off hobbies that i love for "some other time."

A Song you cant stop listening to? Currently? Empire Ants by Gorillaz ft Little Dragon

Recommend A Movie? Oooohhh well im rewatching The Birdcage and its so good 😭 that scene with Armand and Albert on the bus stop always gets to me.

How old are you? 31 omggggg i feel so freaking old!!!!

School, University, Occupation? I am a cook 😊

Do you prefer to be hot or cold? Oh 100% cold. Haha without question. I can wear layers. And i can cuddle on the couch with a blanket on. Hot tea. Cold all the way.

Name a fact others may not know about you. I have Poland Syndrome. 🤷‍♂️ haha its like a minor case but i was born without my right pectoral muscle and its definitely caused body image issues lol.

Are you shy? Haha absolutely. But ive had to come out of my shell because of work. You cant exactly be shy and shout orders around a kitchen.

Pronouns? He, him, they, them mostly but she, her on occasion. Im all over the place. Lol

Biggest Pet Peeve? Mean people. People who enjoy being assholes to others in any way shape or form. Like, it cost you nothing, literally not a single cent, to be a decent person and you choose otherwise!?!? Unless you're one of those people that want me and my friends and family dead because of who we are. Y'all can drop dead. And you know exactly who i mean.

Rate your life from 1-10. 7 is a pretty safe number haha like im very grateful for all the stuff i have in life. My immediate family is still healthy. I have a job. And the amount of amazingly beautiful, kind, sweet people who I've gotten a great chance meet here. Seriously though. You guys are amazing and i love you guys 😊

Whats your main blog? Haha definitely this one.

List all of your side blogs and what theyre for. I may or may not have a side blog thats more for........adult stuff. But its literally all reblogs from other peoples side blogs lol

Is there anything people should know about you before becoming friends with you? Haha none comes to mind. I mean id like to think that I'm a pretty chill guy who you can talk to about anything 🤷‍♂️

Heres me in and out of uniform (showing maybe a little too much bulge lol)

Only if you guys want to btw, im gonna tag @campcrow @dropitlowbandit @catgifsinthesenate @c0smoggy @cubone-attack @zelmoe @vulnerary-prince @aegisblaze @dangerghost20 for now even though i know i will post this and remember a couple of beautiful mutuals i havent tagged in a while. 😊