#idek what this is tbh
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las 15.
mapi leon x reader, alexia putellas x reader (platonic)
warnings: the spanish federation ick
erm look at me posting something đź anyways enjoy haha i kinda hate it but need to feed yall somehow
âYou need to be aware of the consequences of what could happen if you sign this document.â
You stared down at the mahogany surface of your lawyers desk, it was dark, sanded, smooth and shiny. Contemporary, but it also looked old, like a heirloom. It distracted your from the non stop drawl.
âI donât care, Iâm signing it.â
Your eyes travelled along the surface, lookinbg at the different waves of wood and the way that the dark colours marbled together.
âThe RFEF could come for you, they could try and take your license. You might not compete at the world cup, the press will come for you, Vilda will come for you, Barca could reduce your playing time, it could be the end of your career. There are other negatives.â
Youâve thought about all of them of course, how could you not?
âIâve already said it, I donât care. Let them come for me, let them do whatever they want. I am done with it all. Fourteen other players have signed it, no? I will be the fifteenth and that is final.â
You werenât a big fan of your lawyer, he was old and money oriented. He also didnât have your best interest in mind, his sole focus was earning you as much money as possible, which had been fine up until today.
âSo what? You plan to be the best in the world and never play international football again? This will ruin your career, it will put an end to the Ballon Dâor campaign, it will change things for you, you canât just do this because your girlfriend does it as well, this will be detrimental for you.â
The wood grooved at the edges, flattening out and curving so the edges werenât too sharp.
âI refuse to stand by and submit myself to abuse. Thatâs what happens every time I go to that place, every time I go to camp I submit myself to abuse, torture, horrific conditions. The fact that you would even dare imply that I would do this for anybody but myself is preposterous. I am better than the condition I am being subkmitted to, I deserve better than to be objectified and treated as if I am dirt on that manâs shoe and I refuse to be treated as such. I have standards for myself and the people around me and I refuse to live by these for much longer. Iâll draft up the letter, Iâll send it to you for editing purposes and once your done you will send it to the RFEF, consequences be damned. You should be glad that I lasted two more windows then everyone else, honestly Iâm ashamed that I didnât do this earlier, but Iâm ready to take a stand with everybody else now. I donât want to play in a World Cup if it means this is how I will live my life.â
You looked up at your lawyer, hoping the fire burning in your soul was reflective in your eyes.
âThis is a bad decision, you are thinking with your heart and not your head, this is unlike you.â
You pulled your eyes from the mahogany, standing up from your seat slowly.
âNo, Iâm thinking with my own interests, not yours, not my managers, not my bank accounts. Iâm thinking with my mental health, my emotional health and my physical health. For the first time in my life I am taking time to focus on myself, so tyeah maybe itâs unlike me, but Iâd like to think this might be the a better version of me, Iâll email you my letter, all you havr to do is forward it, if itâs such a struggle donât even bother reading it, I donât care what you have to say, Iâm legally obligated to make you aware of any contractual issues so here I am. Give a fuck, donât give a fuck, it doesnât change anything for me, Iâve made my decision and nothing or nobody will make me change my mind.â
You didnât wait around to hear what he planned to say in rebuttal, exiting the stuffy office as quickly as your legs would allow.
You made it to your car before you felt the tears flooding down your face. Even now, even after youâd tried to speak out you still felt like you were being silenced, like nothing had changed. Thatâs why you were doing what you were doing, why you knew this was what you needed to do. It didnât make it any easier though, knowing that no matter what choices you made, even if they were for the good of you there were still going to be people around you who condemned them.
You were supposed to be at training, but youâd taken the day of to finalise all this bullshit. It was frustrating, knowing that the choices you were making for the good of yourself could end up being harmful to your career in a multitude of ways, it was all so fucking hard.
Everybody was at training, and yet here you were balling your eyes out in the carpark of your stupid fucking lawyers office.
If you hadnât hit rock bottom at the last camp, the this was it, this was your final straw.
It was all too much, youâd been holding out for too long, but the mixture of the other 14 girls refusing to come back and Alexiaâs injury had been enough of a motivation for Vilda to try and ruin your life. It had started with extra training after your sessions, then sessions in the mornings, then separating you from the rest of the team, limiting your diet, gym sessions, changing your schedules to everybody elses, punishing you for nothing, treating you like you were a slave to the Spanish Womenâs team.
You were the best midfielder they had, excluding Alexia, and she was hurt, you were the scapegoat for the team, you were responsible for the wins and the reason for the losses.
You knew that with your leave, somebody else would end up taking your role, probably Aitana who was far to young to deal with that kind of pain, and you felt bad, you felt more guilty than you thought possible, but you couldnt do it for any longer, you couldnât act like it wasnât killing you on the inside for every second that you spent away with those people.
You hated it, you hated feeling like nothing, you hated feeling worthless, you hated living your life like it was pointless, you couldnât do it for any longer, not when you were giving up every single part of yourself to keep yourself together.
You couldnât stay how you were, crying in the drivers seat of your car milling over the memories of your last camp, you needed to leave, needed to go somewhere, needed to talk somebody.
Before you really knew what you were doing youâd started driving, letting the tears drip onto your lap and the steering wheel as you frantically drove your way through the city.
You couldnât be alone, but you also couldnât handle all the eyes of your teammates, so you drove to the one other place that you could think of where you hoped somebody would be.
You tried your hardest to wipe the tears from your face, but they kept falling, the sleeve of your shirt getting damper by the second as you tried to wipe up the evidence of your breakdown. It was useless, and eventually you gave up, stepping out of your car and ducking your head as you walked towards the lift and navigated your way through the apartment building.
The person you were looking for didnât answer the door, instead you were put face to face with Olga.
âHola chica, Ale didnât tell me she was expecting visitors.â
You bit down on your lip, tapping your foot against the floor as you peeked around Olga, searching for the person you were seeking out.
âIâm sorry, I didnât tell her, I can go home, I know sheâs been busy with her rehab, I donât even know how I ended up here.â
Olga tugged at your arm before you could spit anything else out, tugging you through the door and closing it from behind you.
âNonsense chica, youâre very welcome here, Alexia is sitting out on the balcony doing her exercises, sheâll be more than happy to have your company, just head on through, your always welcome here.â
You nodded at Olga, smiling at her as much as you could with your lip still stuck between your teeth.
âThank you, thank you so much, I really appreciate.â
You tried to ignore the tears that were still dripping down your face, it didnât feel like you were crying, even though you were, it more felt like you were shedding a layer of yourself, the layer that was holding all of the trauma that youâd been holding in, like it was your way of getting rid of it all.
Alexiaâs apartment was meticulously clean as ever, but you spotted her out in the sun easily.
She was standing outside, in a pose similar to ones you did in your yoga sessions.
She looked at peace, like she was calm, like she was serene, the complete polar opposite to how you felt and you really didnât want to burden her with your problems, but you were here now anyways.
You tiptoed over to the glass sliding door, pushing it open, causing Alexiaâs head to peak up at you. She looks at you with curiosity, but doesn;t move, instead her head nods you towards one of the outdoor lounges beside her, which you beeline for.
She stays in her position as she addresses you.
âThe appointment with your lawyer didnât go well then?â
You did a double take as you stared at Alexia, shocked at the information sheâd somehow managed to obtain.
âYou donât take me for a idiota do you? Mapi told me you had a appointment you were keeping quiet about this morning, it doesnât take a genius to figure it out who it must have been with, considering recent events. Although your girlfriend wasnât smart enough to work it out herself.â
Alexia stayed in her stretch, looking at you as if to prompt you to tell her more.
âYes, I had a appointment with my lawyer, Alexia.â
Alexia smirked to herself, she was one of the most obersvanet people you knew, nothing got by her, you werenât all that surprised to find out that this hadnât.
âYouâll be joining the group then?â
You hadnât really comes to terms with it, let alone saying it out loud.
âThatâs the plan, should be official by tomorrow.â
Tears were still dripping down your face, you couldnât find yourself caring though.
âGood for you. You deserve better, we all deserve better, may we all hopefully make a change.â
Alexia wasnât officially a part of the movement, but she was everyway besides a signature as equally involved as everybody else.
âIt just feels like iâm letting the team down, that Iâm letting everyone down.â
Alexia nodded at you, finally coming out of her stretch and walking over to sit down next to you.
âYouâre doing whatâs good for you chica, your doing something that is going to make you happier, that is going to make your life better. Nobody else matters beyond that, trust me.â
Alexia looked at you, like she was genuinely struggling to help you out in the moment. She had been your mentor at Barca for forever, you seeked out her advice more than anybody elses, especially in this moment.
âI donât know how to do it anymore, itâs like he was trying to ruin my fucking life, like his whole purpose for everyday was to make my life a living hell, and I just couldnât do it anymore. I couldnât walk around camp acting like it was fine, I couldnât smile at cameras and talk to the press and tell them about how great I was feeling when it was all lies, all I wanted to do was leave, or sleep, or die, all because of his and his staff. They were hardly feeding me, hardly letting me sleep, hardly giving me a break and expecting me to perform at the same level as everybody else, if not better. I just couldnât do it anymore Ale, it was too much.â
Alexiaâs arm placed itself on your knee, squeezing your covered skin.
âYou shouldnât have to, you needed to leave and you did, you made the right decision chica, you made a impossible decision that will make your life 100 times easier, it doesnât make you weak, it makes you so incredibly brave for being able to identify that you were being treated wrongly and that you needed to remove yourself from that space.â
The tears kept falling, your pants were slowly becoming soaked with the raw emotion.
âMapi did it because of the abuse, because she had a legitimate reason, Iâm leaving because they worked me a little bit harder than everybody else, it feels like Iâm overreacting.â
You could feel Alexia rolling her eyes from beside you.
âReally? Has Mapi told you that?â
Mapi had told you that you deserved the world, you deserved everything you wanted, you deserved to be treated like a queen, not how the RFEF was treating you. Sheâd told you the decision was yours, that she would support you no matter what you did, but sheâd also told you that after every camp you came back with a little bit less of yourself, that Vilda was stripping parts of you away to use at his mercy.
âItâs not the same thing, Patri, Pina, Mapi, they all have good reasons, theyâve all been hurt, Vilda is just trying to make me better, trying to make me worthy.â
Alexiaâs hand squeezed tighter.
âYouâre lying to yourself and you know it. As long as he is in charge, you arenât going to get treated how you deserve, none of us are. Weâve all paid our dues, yet they donât give a shit, they break us all down until weâve got nothing left to give. They broke me down until I did my acl, if you hadnât of left they would have done the same to you. Itâs nonstop, even if it isnât the same kind of abuse as Mapi, itâs still abuse, they still rip out every part of you in the process. Each time you come back you have less of yourself to offer, but they keep taking, and taking, they make us feel nothing. Itâs a waste, itâs a waste of the wonderful life weâve all been gifted. We deserve to be happy, we deserve to be free of the pain.â
You nodded your head, youâd been avoiding telling Mapi about all of this. You were conscious that she was still working through a lot of her own trauma, and you didnât want to reopen scars that were only just beginning to heal.
âI donât know what to do Ale, I sign the papers, I write the letters and Iâm taking a stand, Iâm trying to make a change. I stay, I wreck it all, but I keep my career. It feels like Iâm at a crossroads with myself, and I canât talk about it weith Maps because god forbid shes already been through enough with her own struggle through it all, she doesnât need me on top of that.â
Alexia stood back up, getting back onto her mat and pushing herself into another stretch, all whilst she maintained eye contact with you.
âMapiâs talked to you about her struggles, si? Sheâs burdening you with her own problems, yet it doesnât feel that way, because you love her and youâd do anything to make her pain less. I guarantee sheâd feel the exact same way. Youâve been through a lot, none of us will ever be able to completely comprehend what youâve been through, but if you started talking to your loved ones about it weâd be able to support you better. Or a therapist, I know Barca has been giving you sessions, but I mean a real psychologist, not just a person who tells you that you need a day off. You need somebody to help you, to actually make you feel like you deserve better than how they treated you, because I know that you know that but I donât think you really believe it.â
The tears were slowly coming to a standstill, slipping less frequently down your face as Alexia talked to you.
âI donât want to make her hurt any more than she already has.â
Alexia just looked at you, with that double eyebrow raise and little crinkle in her forehead.
âIf you think that Maria wouldnât do anything for you, even if it meant sucking every single inch of pain from your body and putting it into hers, she would do it and she would do it with a smile on her face. Her whole world, her whole solar system revolves around you and sheâd want you to talk to her about this. She knows better than anybody else what youâre experiencing, sheâs literally been where you are, so why not talk to her about it?â
It was true, for as long as Mapi and you had been together sheâd tried to fix every single thing, she would do anything to make you feel better, this didnât feel the same though.
âShe deserves to live in a world where Vilda, where the RFEF, donât affect her anymore. She signed the petition, sheâs cleaned her hands of it all, and I should have done it with her, but I didnât. I chose to keep playing for the benefit of my career, because I was greedy and decided that a Ballon Dâor and any kind of accolade I was a shot at was more important then taking a stand and I hate it. I hate that now that Iâve won things that suddenly itâs all hit me that I donât like whatâs been happening, and I donât want to support it. Mapi doesnât deserve to go through it a second time, all because I was greedy.â
Alexia switched sides on her stretch, the sun was radiating off of her olive skin and her blonde hair, she looked ethereal.
âHave you told her anything about it?â
Alexia was frowning, like she was shocked by your actions.
âShe knows that I was struggling at camp, she told me I was welcome to talk to her. After the last one she knew something had changed, she told me she was worried and I shook her off, because I thought she was being overprotective, but she was right, she had reason to be worried, I wasnât okay. Iâm not okay, i donât know how to process it all.â
Alexia nodded.
âGo home, tell her whatâs happening, see what she says, I think itâll be a lot better than whatever youâve thought up. Mapi has been my bestfriend for years, sheâs dated my sister, sheâs dated my friends and I can confidently tell you that she loves you more than any of them, youâre her do or die, all sheâll want to do is support you, please just go and talk to her.â
Alexia looked at you with such conviction and honesty that you couldnât find it in you to try and fight her on the topic.
âThank you Ale, I needed this, I needed to talk to somebody, needed to feel less crazy.â
Alexia did one last stretch before standing up, pulling you into a tight hug before you could pull away.
âYouâre not crazy chica, youâre going through a very real, very hard time, and you deserve to have the people around you show you how much they love you.â
Alexia let go of you, shoving you back towards the door.
âGo talk to your girl, and sign those papers, and be happy, enjoy life, enjoy peace. You deserve it, chica.â
You nodded into Alexiaâs shoulder, letting go of her and slipping back into her apartment, leaving her to get back to her stretching.
You shivered when you spotted Mapiâs car already parked in her spot. You knew youâd be cutting it close with getting home earlier then her, but youâd held a silent hope that you would be the first home. You hesitated to exit your car, scared of what the inside of your apartment held. You werenât scared so much, more a little bit tentative of the conversation that you were about to have, knowing that it could majorly impact your relationship. In your heart, you knew that Mapi would love you no matter what, but it didnât calm the nerves inside of you as you pulled your keys from the ignition, pulled out the papers that your lawyer had given you and exited your car.
The whole walk from your car, to the elevator and then down the hallway to your apartment had your heart thrumming inside of your chest. Your hands were quite literally shaking as you pushed your key into the door.
You toed your shoes off at the door, slotting them down beside the door before slowly walking your way through the entrance. It wasnât hard to find Mapi, she was right in front of you, sitting down at the island bench, patting Bagheera and eating a post training salad. You knew that there was one meant for you still sitting on the shelf of your fridge, from when the two of you had meal planned yesterday. She looked so undisturbed, with the afternoon light coming in through the gaps in the blinds and the general silence that you were about to break.
You announce yourself by slinging your bag down against the wall, a loud enough noise that seems to wake Mapi from her happy daze.
She smiles as soon as her eyes set on you and it only makes the weight in your gut feel ten times heavier and the pain in your heart ten times worse.
You wanted to turn around and walk right back out the door youâd just walked through, but you couldnât, not with the way that Mapi looked at you, like her whole day had been made by your appearance.
âHola bebita, how was your meeting?â
Mapiâs smiling ear to ear, quite literally, you swear you can see every single one of her teeth. It had hurt you to lie to Mapi about where you were going today, telling her that youâd had a crucial appointment with your manager about some media things, it wasnât a direct lie. You had met with your manager, instead of it being positive though, it had been quite the opposite.
You didnât have any words to reiterate to Mapi, so instead you just picked up the papers that were tucked away in your hands and placed them down on the island infront of her.
Mapi looked at you with confusion for a few seconds.
âJust read them, youâll understand it more once you have.â
Mapi didnât hesitate, picking up the first piece of paper and scanning over it, before moving onto the second, then the third and so on, till sheâd made it through the entire stack.
You stood anxiously on your toes the whole time, balancing from one foot to the other as you contemplated how Mapi was going to reply to this sudden change.
When she did finish, she looked up at you, a lot of questions hidden behind her curious eyes.
âIâm resigning, or requesting they donât call me up. I donât want to play for a federation that doesnât care about me. Iâm sorry I didnât do it earlier, but I wasnât ready and Iâm sorry Iâm bother you with it now but Iâm also sorry I didnât tell you about it earlier, I met with my lawyer for the first time today to sign the documents and write my statement. If it all goes to plan then they should be out in the next week. I donât want to do it anymore, I canât do it anymore, Iâm sorry.â
Mapi blinked a few times, like youâd just blindsided her completely, and you figured you had.
âI didnât even really know it was happening until after last camp, and I just realised that I was so exhausted and so tired and so sick of it all that I couldnât do it again. I should have done it earlier, I should have been a part of it all from the start but I was scared and I still am scared Maps. This is supposed to be my job, Iâm supposed to be grateful for the opportunities Iâm given and yet I feel like Iâm a fraud and Iâm lying when I say that because Iâm not grateful and Iâm not happy and I canât do it anymore, I just canât. Iâve been praying every night that I get injured, so that I get a break like Ale, and I donât want to feel like that anymore.â
Mapi just stood up and pulled you into her arms, silencing the rambling and making you realise that you were now crying again.
She slowly led you towards the couch, bringing you into her arms as you tried to take control of yourself.
It felt like every piece of anguish, every piece of fear, every piece of internal hatred was slowly being pulled from your body and it felt so good, like you were somehow being healed.
Mapi wiated until you were coherent enough, until you felt more resurfaced, and less like the bloodn was rushing through your ears and every though of self-doubt was spirally through the different ridges of your brain.
âPrincesa, youâve made this decision for you, si? Not because of me, not because of anybody else, because you believe this is best for you?â
You nodded into her chest, enjoying the feeling of your own skin pressed directly to hers.
âIâm sick of them making me feel this way Maps, I donât like it, I donât think itâs right.â
Mapiâs body was surrounding you, her scent, her feel, her everything, and it was all youâd needed today, everything that Alexia had assured you would make you feel better.
Mapiâs salad was forgotten on the counter.
Bagheera was somewhere else.
It was just the two of you, just the two of you to face everything.
âWeâre put into boxes, as women, men try to make us be everything and yet nothing. Itâs not right, weâre expected to be as good as the men, but we have to behave eloquently, say our pleases and thank yous and never be ungrateful for the piss poor conditions we put up with. Weâre supposed to be passionate, but weâre not allowed to over react in any way. We can only underperform, not overperform. There are no expectations for us, because weâre women and weâre supposed to be worse than the men, but theyâre are also so many expectations for us to meet. Itâs okay for you to be done with that, there is nothing wrong with you saying no to constantly being abused. Youâre not a fraud bebita and Iâm here for you no matter what. Youâre my girlfriend first, a person second and a soccer player last. It doesnât matter, none of it matters, you matter, youâre feelings and how you feel is what matters.â
Mapiâs hand pulled your head from her neck, her lips connecting with your forehead with ease.
âIâm not doing it anymore Maps. I want to be strong, I want to say no. I want to be a part of the right side of history. I donât want to sit around pretending everythingâs fine when itâs not fine. Itâs nowhere near fine and until there is a change it wonât be.â
Mapi nodded, pressing a series of kisses to your forehead.
âThen weâll work it out, youâll keep me in the loop and weâll figure it out together, no more hiding these big feelings from me. Weâll go and see our therapists and take soe time off and do whatever you need to feel safe and happy, because what matters is you, nobody else, si?â
You nodded your head once again, enjoying the same smile that her face was covered in. her lips migrated down to your cheeks, pressing kisses to the rosiest parts, pushing the tears away.
âIâve got you bebita, weâve got each other, weâre going to be fine, we all are.â
#woso#woso community#sammykworshipper thoughts#barca femeni x reader#mapi leon imagine#mapi leon x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas angst#barca femeni angst#woso angst#woso imagine#mapi leon is a golden retriever#idek what this is tbh#kinda hate it#erm yeah#woso fic#woso one shot#barca#barca women#barca femeni#fc barca#fuck the fred#fuck the spanish football federation
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âiâm too smart to join a cult iâd be fineâ youâre too smart for the evil amulet to corrupt you too. the amulet loves you, my liege, put on the amulet
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#idek what this is tbh#whip cheam?#butter?#the world may never know#looks good tho#cozy aesthetic#naturecore#earthlings#earthcore#natural aesthetic#light aesthetic#springcore#fairy cottage#cottagecore aesthetic#June#tw: food
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I've been thinking lately and I think if they do end up putting Eloise with Philip (in the Bridgerton show), I'll definitely be ignoring it. Not simply because he is A Man, and Eloise is more into women and nonbinary people, but also because:
To end up with him, Eloise's entire personality and worldview has to change. The only thing is, I like her personality and worldview the way it is. She is right and she should say it lol.
Eloise is frightened, no petrified of giving birth. Especially for the time period she's in, that's a fair thing to fear, I think. Heck, I never want to give birth and I live in modern times. And I never have either. I think Eloise is the same.
Furthermore, I don't think Eloise cares for children too much. She doesn't hate them, and if a partner wanted children, she would always be kind to them etc. But I don't see her as a very maternal woman. And that's okay.
Eloise also wants to be with someone who is her intellectual equal. Who challenges her, surprises her, makes her think about the world in a different way. Now, I could be wrong, but I don't see Philip doing any of that.
Eloise (as her face tag 'my rebellion is not a costume' states) is not going through a phase. She has genuine criticisms and notices the problems of the society in which she lives. To end up with a Man, not only a Man but one who doesn't add anything to her life except give her more work, would contradict that, IMO anyway. Not saying that women dating men can't be feminists. Of course not, that's silly. But what I am saying is that Eloise would only be attracted to a man who IS her true equal. Who isn't just more of the same. Who would respect her as she is. And I just don't see Philip doing any of that. Maybe the show will surprise me, but idk. In addition, as I said above, El doesn't ever want to give birth (and in the books she does), isn't largely fond of children (and Philip already has them). For their relationship to work, El would have to sacrifice a lot, while Philip wouldn't. And that is exactly the kind of thing that Eloise has an issue with. If the relationship was more equal, she wouldn't mind. But it wouldn't be. And personally, I don't want that for her.
(Trigger warning: rape) I haven't read the books yet, but I've heard that Philip is kinda rapey towards Marina in the books, and I don't want that for Eloise. Not saying he would ever harm her, idk. But she would never want to be with a man who would harm any woman, no matter her feelings towards them.
TLDR version: Show!Eloise would have to change and sacrifice a lot for her book relationship to still work. And personally, I don't think I would find that a compelling character arc. And I think Eloise deserves one. She also deserves to be with someone who truly challenges her, surprises her, improves her life. Not saying relationships don't require sacrifices, they do, but they do on both sides. Not just one. Eloise and Philip, from what I've heard, is NOT that. It's Eloise sacrificing and Philip gets off easy. It's not fair imo. And it's not the ending I want for such a strong woman. She deserves better.
My Eloise, therefore, will likely not be following canon if that is indeed her endgame in the show. That doesn't mean I won't RP Philip and Eloise, I'm sure RPers can have an interesting take on the character. But I'm much more interested in developing ships with women and nonbinary characters in the Bridgerton universe, for Eloise. Or maybe RPing with a Theo. (I liked him, sue me. At least he's her intellectual equal and challenges her.)
#rebel with a cause (eloise: headcanon.)#idek what this is tbh#but just wanted to get my feelings out#so any questions feel free to ask#(my eloise canon.)#putting it in that tag cause yes
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Baby Harry: Pop, can I have ice-cream?
James: Of course, Bambi, Iâll go get you one!
*five minutes later*
James: HARRY COME LOOK AT THIS ITâS AWESOME COME OVER HERE NOW WE NEED TO-
Baby Harry: *sighs* Mooây, Paâfooâ, Pop is doing it again!
Remus: James, take care of your son-
Sirius: OH MY MERLIN MOONY, HAZZA COME LOOK OVER HERE WHAT JAMES FOUND- PRONGSLETTE GET OVER HERE-
Baby Harry: *walks over* *pulls his fatherâs sleeve* Pop, you need to stop, what did we say about this?
Remus: *wipes away a tear* I need to go get Lily.
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Moon Drunk Man
wrote another poem, it's under the cut
Moon drunk man,
your head turned up,
looking towards the lady,
howl your beautiful song
For you have been lost
to the rage in your heart,
the hunger in your body,
the grief in your mind
Your humanity is a far memory,
lost to the hunger in your mind,
the rage in your body,
the grief in your heart
You do not know what
your heart grieves for,
or why your body rages,
or why your mind is so
hungry
Your body deforms,
it bends and changes,
painful snaps, skin stretching,
bones breaking and mending,
mind and body breaking
Breaking?
Me?
I'm breaking?
But i feel fine.
I bathe in the moonlight,
I howl my sorrow-filled song
But...
I'm hungry
Hungry in my mind, heart, and body
hungry in my soul,
hungry for love,
hungry for care,
hungry for my humanity,
hungry for-
...meat
Moon drunk man,
your hunger too strong,
your mind too weak,
your body barely yours
Your hunger is never satisfied,
even as you hunt,
Her light bathes you,
a reminder of what you have lost,
what you cannot remember
There is blood underneath your nails,
the taste of iron on your tongue,
you are elated.
Satisfied.
Finally satisfied.
You hear something.
A name.
Your name.
My name?
But nobody knows me.
It's been years,
surely I've been forgotten-
It's your name.
You know it's your name,
no use in pretending it isn't.
You recognize the voice,
it's the voice of your-
Mom
Your memories come rushing back,
flooding your mind
like a dam broke
You rush to her,
regaining humanity,
clinging to her,
like your life depends on it.
Apologies spill
forgiveness is shared
tears are shed
warmth is spread
You are brought back home,
where you decide to tell your story.
The beautifully sad story of
the Moon Drunk Man
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uhhh. bruce wayne modelling gig. have a good day đ„°
#batman#bruce wayne#fanart#bat family#batfam#brucie wayne#red robin#tim drake#nightwing#dick grayson#robin#damian wayne#blackbat#batgirl#cassandra cain#red hood#jason todd#idek what jason and cass are doing tbh dont ask#just wanted to include my favourite OLDER SISTER YOUNGER BROTHER duo... thats right OLDER SISTER YOUNGER BR-#jason todd was born to have an older sister#anyways i just think bruce modelling would be funny#this is his first gig and the kids are clowning tf out of him#but like. amused pride?? like. like theyre happy for him but too emotionally constipated to express it so theyre making fun of him#its fine the rest of the internet loves it#dieubius
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Legend has it when you squeeze a clown's organs they honk
#I know from first hand experience#it's an organ kind of night yknow?#wait no just found a creepy sounding drug now I'm gonna be thinking about that all evening#leech rambles#leech shitpost#idek what this is tbh
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his fatherâs son
#neoptolemus#pyrrhus#tagamemnon#<- tbh idek what that tag is used for but i see people tagging greek mythology art with it so good enough for me#the aeneid#the iliad#greek mythology#greek myth art#i just finished the aeneid and after 8 years the greek/roman mythology phase has returned in full force#my art#virgil was really onto something there i see why dante was all over him
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after this loredrop (IM INSANE) about Ballista, (IM CLAWING AT THE WALLS) could we perhaps get some Ballista art please? :D (đ„đ„đ„)
YOU'RE IN LUCK. I'M ALSO INSANE TOO
also also i thought of a feeeeew hcs since that dropped!
like fooor example, primal fought with ballista years ago!
(apologies btw. i struggled to get the anatomy right with this one)
and alllsoooo the "some sticks resurfaced ballista's body that managed to find its way into the outernet and along the way, rocketcorp brought in the body to research it (how they got it. um. dont ask) and then they eventually found out about how powerful ballista was and victim thought theyd be a good merc idk, then they manage to revive ballista but he has no memory of the past whatsoever!!!!" hc/theory!
also freellista was born that day. that day was yesterday btw i am now not normal about these two
theyre exes btw (never properly broke up but ballista died while they were dating so. rip)
thats referencing the ballista gijinka design i have btw! i decided to make it something freedom made to modify his cape as a gift! also so that they match hehehe
the fact that this is in my current design of him means that ballista still has that scarfcape thing on after all these years, even after his death
he has a fragment of the past but he will never remember it. sayang,,
at least it looks cool on him still!!!!!
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#ava victim#ava ballista#ava agent#ava primal#ava hazard#ava freedom guy#god this ballista lore made me so ill /pos#if you think this is all i did for ballista lore just wait until i tell you what i did for ns?au#freellista...please . please save me AUGH#crackships win everytime. ... yeah.......#idek if this is a crackship anymore to me tbh LMAO#askingriot#lilacsart
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[240505] Inkigayo :: Maestro :: Vernon
#seventeen#svtsource#svtgifs#svtcreations#ultkpop#kpopccc#kpopco#malegroupsnet#vernon#hansol vernon chwe#igm.gif#mine:svt#p: inkigayo#usertheos#userzaynab#fordaniseyes#dreamytag#majatual#hanatonin#planetboo#useryenas#anniehae#quite possibly the worst gifset i've made this year actually#idek what happened tbh but it looks choppy and awful#but i waited till they wore these fits so... :"))))#hope you guys enjoy even a lil bit!!
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first time talking about smth not trans/t4t related on here but yall are really fuckin awful to aro/ace ppl. like i see like "u cant identify as asexual until ur 18 its an inappropriate sexuality for a child to have" and its like ok thats just like homophobia/transphobia again. u just made queerphobia again. do you know how many times i heard that its weird for me to identify as trans "so young" (i was 16)? and like "u cant identify as aro/ace if ur traumatized cause what if its just the trauma" ok and what if trauma with men made a girl a lesbian? you just made homophobia again. and dont even get me started on "WELL WHAT IF THERES AN AROMANTIC HETEROSEXUAL CIS MAN WHO WANTS TO BE QUEER" and oh yeah im sure youre so scared of "predator men" invading your spaces sike u just made transphobia again. like at what point will we as queer people stop attacking our queer siblings and collaborate as a community to create meaningful change? at what point?
#'evan this is discourse' idc#idek if this is still relevant anymore tbh#im not on twitter so idk what yall get up to#but i was just thinking#also this all can be applied to trans ppl w contradicting identities#and neopronouns#and it/its pronouns#like congrats its just transphobia#asexual#aromantic#alloaro#aroallo#aroace#trans#queer
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may i request a lil squip bmc
oh yeah, this guy. the squid
#idek what he looks like tbh#like when i was into bmc all i did was look at boyfriends and richjake fanart#soo idk does the squip have a design ? cuz i see so many different versions#but uh yeah#be more chill#the squip#ask tag
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<3
#creatures#idek what they are tbh#tuxpaint#nature#pink#angels#beasts#animals#love#illustration#my art
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Yukimiya and Nagi Barou x Tokimitsu shippers??? My random crack ship I mentioned once is backed up by canon crack content?? Official crack ship?? LMAO??? What even is happening with the additional time this season???
S2E4 Additional time spoilers in case you missed it
#i don't even know what to say right now tbh#i started shipping them because i thought they'd be a hilarious crack ship no way canon gave it to me#i'm gonna get judged so hard for this i can already feel the judgement coming#blue lock#bllk#blue lock season 2#blue lock additional time#idek their ship name wtf#baroutoki#????#barou shouei#shouei barou#tokimitsu aoshi#aoshi tokimitsu
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if nardo was a kdrama, this would be the mads photoshoot for 1st look / dazed / w korea to promo the hashimada vote episode.
#thats what methinks#perhaps even for elle#idek what those magazines are tbh but i always see nice drama promo pics in them#i was high key resisting the urge to put flowers in the water LMFAO and sparkles#im gonna have a hard time making that water look like water#anyways.. kicking off#madarapicmonday#thats the tag yall hopefully i can keep forcing myself to draw every week lol#naruto#the quality is always gonna be kinda bad until i post the finished version whenever that happens :(#uchiha madara#ah me personal tag for himb#mads#alulu art
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