#trauma therapy is wild

[thebadassromanoff]

No one warned me that my skin could hurt for no obvious reason after an intense session of accelerated resolution therapy. I was fine before this. Sure, I’ve read the body keeps the score and it makes sense that this would happen after working on deep trauma. I looked it up online and it legit reads that this can be caused by the brain overacting to external stimuli. So yeah that’s a thing. It fucking hurts.

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

Am I the only one who actually prefers the Araj confession from Astarion? I see so many people wax poetic about the “nice, simple plan” scene and how much better it is that I want to wax poetic a little about my favourite.

The first time I played BG3, I didn’t know anything about Astarion’s background and I thought he was a jerk. When I first ran into Araj at Moonrise, I was surprised that he wasn’t interested in biting her, but he gave his reasons and I was like, damn, okay, that sucks but I’m not gonna force him to do anything. He said no, so it’s a no. Then I moved on, and genuinely thought nothing of it.

When he hit me with the Araj confession at camp, when he explained how he felt in front of her and how easy it would have been to just grin and bear it and do as he was told, I started crying. Sometimes I struggle to even put into words the emotions it brought up — not the smallest of which was the realisation that I had had more respect for this video game character that I didn’t even like at the time than a lot of people had ever had for me, a real fucking human being.

So I love absolutely everything about that scene, from the writing to the performance to all the different ways it can play out. I know the other confession is more cute and sweet and romantic, but the Araj one held up a mirror to me and genuinely made me confront myself and change how I approach intimacy. Which is kind of an embarrassing thing to say about a video game romance scene but here I am saying it.

Because if this fucking rude ass pixel boy (affectionate) can learn to be honest about his needs and limits and have them respected, then so can I, goddamnit. And that will always be so much more profound to me than a nice, simple plan that fell apart.

[esperfruit]

Since I got back into this series, here is my Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends Human AU. Reference sheets and bios for numbers 1-12 ^^

1 - Thomas Billington

Age: 16

Height: 166 cm

An optimist that is always full of energy, ready to jump into action at any opportunity.

His eagerness can often get him into trouble with how impulsive he acts.

Thomas is cheeky and cocky, overestimating himself and underestimating others constantly. Playing tricks and teasing others, especially the adults around him is what he’s mostly known for besides of how hard of a worker he is.

He always sees the good in others and loves helping out but when someone does something he deems as truly unforgivable, he holds deep grudges and acts spiteful towards them. During most of his childhood, he used to be a troublemaker due to his lack of respect towards everyone not named Edward, Annie, Clarabell or Sir Topham Hatt. Nowadays he directs his disrespect and rudeness towards those who mistreat his friends.

Thomas is very curious and when something gets his interest, he wants to learn about it as much as possible, which got him into dangerous situations multiple times when he tried to discover something, a trait he got from his parents, archeologists.

When Thomas was born, his parents moved from the mainland to Sodor to raise him in a peaceful environment. Shortly before Thomas’ sixth birthday, his parents went missing when they were on their way back from an excursion and the only thing they left behind was a Golden Whistle. Thomas then was taken in and raised by Edward, his father’s best friend, and Annie and Clarabell. Having the strong feeling that Golden Whistle is connected to his parent’s disappearance, he is determined to uncover its secrets to find them.

2 - Edward Pettigrew

Age: 55

Height: 172 cm

Thomas’ adoptive father after his parent’s disappearance and treats him like his own son with the assistance of his close friends and flatmates Annie and Clarabell.

An intelligent and experienced veteran, who uses his wisdom to guide others onto a better path. Genuinely good-natured, respectful and calm-minded, it takes a lot to make him angry and when he does get angry, he can terrify anyone.

He has a huge friend circle and can make things work easily thanks to his connections. Others generally view him as very pleasant to have around and to be a great listener when someone has something they need to let out. Generally very beloved and respected, people like Thomas and Duck will immediately jump to his defense if someone mistreats him.

His best friends used to be Gordon and Henry. They were an unstoppable trio, loved and admired by everyone but they grew distant over a decade ago and Edward was practically kicked out of their friend group and replaced by James. For a while they grew very disrespectful towards Edward and mocked him on the basis of him being past his prime or calling him unreliable. Edward, confident in himself, did not take these insults to heart and just waited for sweet karma to humble them and then laugh at the three hotshots. After a dangerous exploit where Edward severely injured himself, Gordon and Henry regained their respect for him and he became a sort of living legend on the island. Their relationship had severely improved since then but it is still quite awkward between them. Edward’s Exploit proved to everyone what he truly is: a brave old sage that never gives up and the most reliable person on Sodor.

3 - Henry Stanier

Age: 44

Height: 194 cm

A true enigma as nobody knows where he comes from, not even himself. One day he was found on the doors of an orphanage on the mainland as an infant and grew up there until he was adopted by the Staniers, a rival family of the famous Gresleys. 

It turned out he suffered from chronic anemia and regularly collapsed and spent a lot of time at hospitals. Despite his illness, he is physically very strong and proud of it. 

When he was 17 and at the hospital again, he met a boy named Gordon, who was visiting a dying relative of his. They quickly became friends and began to hang out on the daily after they found out they go to the same prestigious school.

Right after graduation, their fathers, the heads of the Gresley and Stanier households respectively, forced them to not see each other anymore, which deeply hurt Henry.

After finishing university, Henry moved to Sodor, to distance himself from the Gresley-Stanier conflict but he grew to become a snarky jerk, who complained about everything and everyone. He was tired of being anemic, hated his job and was unable to properly socialize. The only thing that kept his mood up was his gardening hobby. Things didn’t improve much even after he and Gordon reunited and formed a trio with Edward. Gordon had become a pompous hotshot and seemed to be closer to Edward than him, Henry felt isolated.

After he was involved in a terrible accident that almost killed him, he lost his right eye and left arm, which were replaced with a glass eye and an arm prosthetic. This accident served as a wake-up call for him and he mellowed-out of his permanent grumpiness and he and Gordon were just as close as they used to be. Treatment for his anemia had also been invented since then. It wasn’t cured but living with it had become much more manageable.

Not feeling weak anymore, he flourished and even quickly grew an ego that was almost as bad as Gordon’s in terms of entitlement. His ego left him to ignore how much he, Gordon and James grew to mistreat Edward for a while. 

His arrogance has also mellowed-out over time but then his life took another turbulent turn after he was stuck in a very toxic relationship with Gordon’s cousin Spencer.

Henry was physically and emotionally abused by Spencer for almost two years, leaving large mental scars on him. He was only able to escape this relationship with the help of his friends. As a result of this relationship, Henry developed deep anxiety and grew afraid of  expressing himself. Gordon, Edward, James and Emily supported him throughout his healing process and grew to appreciate all of them dearly.

Today, Henry is still healing from all his experiences but he has become gentle, fun-loving and developed a pleasant aura around him. He can still be snarky sometimes but it’s mostly harmless, and he is eager to fully express his love for nature and his friends. A true resilient fighter who loves life despite all the hardships he had to face. 

4 - Gordon Gresley

Age: 42

Height: 206 cm

The youngest son out of many of the main family of the famous Gresleys. He experienced almost nothing but infighting in his family and the only people he was really close to were his brother Scott and his mother. Over time Gordon grew content  with the fact he wouldn’t become the heir due to being the youngest. He was usually bullied by Spencer with Scott protecting him. Gordon was a timid child that didn’t know how to properly handle people. When he was 15, he became close friends with a Stanier kid until they were forced to seperate. After graduation, he and his family had a terrible accident during a trip where his parents and his siblings died with him and Scott being the sole survivors.

Scott became the heir and Gordon lived under his uncle's home with his cousins Spencer and Mallard until he finished university. Gordon became grumpy and hid his emotions even more than before, deciding to always act stoic and be strong. He developed a super-ego and an overly pompous attitude. His environment and the whole Gresley family dynamic in general made him very competitive, insisting to always be the best and every form of humiliation hurt him deeply.

He overworks himself on a daily basis just to be the best and grows to look down on everyone he sees as weak. His relationship with his family had crumbled, he even started to avoid Scott, who was occupied with the family business.

To get away from the Gresley drama, he moved to Sodor and became “the best” there. Forming a famous trio with his old friend Henry and Edward, he made a name for himself as the unofficial leader. All the many fans he has, his origins and his shining performances inflated his ego even more and he turned into an entitled prick, who is convinced he deserves nothing but the best as the best and refuses to do “undignified work”. 

This misbehavior got him into many humiliating situations that slowly humbled over time but he never truly loses his pridefulness. Gordon grew worried sick about Henry when he started dating Spencer, knowing how malicious his cousin truly is. After he and the others were finally able to help Henry leaving Spencer, Gordon became protective of him. 

As time passed, more and more of Gordon’s facessets unveiled themselves: His dry humor seems way more fun now, he became a role model, everyone now knows of his undying loyalty and he developed fatherly feelings for some of the younger ones, especially Percy. And while he still struggles with showing his emotions properly, he loves all of his friends deeply and his hidden separation anxiety made him panic by just imagining what would happen if he would lose only one of them.

5 - James Hughes

Age: 36

Height: 186 cm

His arrogance and vanity put even Gordon to shame. He loves himself above anything and loves making everyone know that. James is determined to always be the center of attention and to receive praise for his entire being, growing frustrated when someone other than him is in the spotlight, this can get so far as feeling panic when he thinks he is being ignored. Often he likes watching others fail just to feel better about himself.

James is very opinionated, never holds back in saying what he thinks and makes himself heard. His obsession with beauty, especially his own, made him despise dirt and he throws a fit every time he gets dirty. James puts all of his energy into his charisma so as many people as possible can love and appreciate him. One strategy of standing out is to dress in flamboyant red outfits and he gave his hair red highlights after he saw Gordon and Henry having natural blue and green ones.

James struggles with handling frustration and is thus labeled as childish and a drama queen. It’s not uncommon seeing him insulting others in the most creative ways imaginable or straight up getting violent. Edward and he have an awkward relationship as James practically stole his friends from him and it was also him who started picking on Edward. He did that to get the attention and approval of Gordon, who he secretly admires. In hindsight, he genuinely regrets what he did and is aware Edward didn’t deserve anything he received. Now he even feels quite intimidated by Edward with how calm and forgiving he is towards James despite everything he did.

It’s hard seeing past his self-absorbed, flamboyant and confrontational surface but if you get to know him closer you can see just how loving, courageous and loyal James can really be. He’s the type of friend, who is always ready to throw hands if a loved one is in trouble.

James got into hobbies like cooking, fashion design (many of his clothes are his own creations), cosmetics and music. First and foremost because he thinks they’re fun but they can also be helpful to others, which helps him be appreciated even more.

To the disbelief of everyone, James used to be a very quiet and shy child, usually horribly bullied and unable to make friends. His parents were also rather neglectful, telling him he should just be confident and “man-up” if he doesn’t want others to mistreat him. That timid self haunted him into his adult years and he hated everything about himself and when he moved to Sodor, he decided to switch from one extreme to the other to finally love himself and to protect himself from further potential bullying.

6 - Percival “Percy” Avonside

Age: 14

Height: 148 cm

Don’t be fooled by his age and size, that little guy is one of the most adventurous and brave people you can meet. Has a bright worldview and is very trusting and forgiving, which some evil people tried to take advantage of. His naivety has nothing to do with lacking intelligence, he’s very smart actually, he just lacks experience and his parents sheltered him from way too much so he still has to learn more than other children his age. Being the youngest and smallest in the group made him intimidated at first and quite the doormat but thanks to his brother and grandpa figures Duck and Toby, he learned to stand his ground. This awakened his sassy side and he enjoys some pranks from time to time, his favorites are when he scared Henry with a loud “WOOOOOOOO” or Thomas when he pretended to be a ghost with the help of Toby.

Percy tends to get very giddy and overly-excited when big events are planned and he’s usually the first to volunteer for help. He generally loves festivities and events that bring joy to others.

At the beginning Percy and Thomas didn’t get along when Thomas still had an attitude problem and Percy was still a pushover, tolerating each other at most. However, over time they found out how much they actually have in common like their love for adventure and optimism, becoming best friends in the end. Percy wants to help Thomas uncover the secrets of the Golden Whistle.

He is surprisingly athletic, a good runner and possesses a lot of stamina, often competing with Thomas on their explorations.

Percy grew up as the only child of simple farmers on Sodor. His parents were overprotective of him and homeschooled him for most of his short life. After his father died from illness and his mother went missing in a similar manner to the Billingtons, he was taken in by Tobias and Henrietta Holden, who became like grandparents to him. Later he also grew close to Grordon, who is now like a father to Percy, mentoring and supporting him with the methods he has.

One time his clumsiness led him into an accident that gained him the nickname “Dirty Percy”. He hates it and lashes out on everyone calling him that.

Everyone perceives him as the sweet and kind little fella with a strong sense of justice but Percy still secretly fears being taken advantage of and thus can become skeptical of others when he thinks he’s being “used”, even friends.

7 - Tobias “Toby” Holden

Age: 64

Height: 177 cm

That one jolly grandpa everyone likes. Devoted husband to Henrietta, close friend to Edward and loving adoptive grandfather of Percival. Generally as wise and diligent as Edward but he has a different approach on teaching youngsters. Edward teaches first and scolds when his advice is being ignored, Toby watches them fail first, laughs at them and then shows how it’s done. He is cheerful to everyone he meets and easy to be friends with as long as someone doesn’t get obnoxious with their ego. He can and will get stern with overly-pompous people, making James one of the very few he does not get along with. Another one was Mavis, who was stubborn and rebellious due to her youth and some bad advice from Diesel. But Toby and Mavis made up and now have a mentor-student relationship.

Toby has a good-sense of humor and is always there for a good laugh, his mere presence spreads a good atmosphere and he loves listening to others’ stories. 

Prefers a slow and easy life, appreciates the small things in life and is probably the most content person on Sodor alongside his wife.

He has a strong disliking for the police and has no issue standing up to them as he is very fearless, there is barely anything that can frighten Toby with one thing being floods due to a life-threatening experience he once had during one. 

Toby and Henrietta have been married for decades and are just as much in love with each other since day one. He would do everything to protect Henrietta and make her happy as her smile brightens his life more than anything. Their loving marriage set an example for many on how a good marriage should be, making them both flustered.

8 - Montague “Duck” Collett

Age: 25

Height: 181 cm

Proud descendant of the “Great Western”, who sticks to the values his family taught him. It’s either “the Great Western way or the wrong way” for Montague and no in-between. A true traditionalist, who wants to bring his teachings to others, to varying effect. 

He has a damaged left knee, making running for him very difficult. His peers back at London said it looks like he waddled and thus endearingly started calling him “Duck”. Montague liked that nickname and preferred it over his actual name so it stuck.

When Duck arrived at Sodor, he immediately made himself unpopular with the three entitled hotshots Gordon, Henry and James as he is a city boy with a thick skin that knows how to fight back, even enjoying confrontations, and won’t let them have anything. He also stands up for the younger ones and is protective of Percy, who he sees as a little brother. Teaching little Percival how to stand up for himself and of course the “Great Western way”. 

Duck usually is level-headed, polite, helpful, loves working as routine makes him feel at ease and is anything but a pushover with how sassy he can become if anyone tries to mess with him. He rarely resorts to violence, only doing so when he is pushed to his limits or when someone else is being threatened to get hurt (he loves being chivalrous).

The Great Western that dictated Duck’s entire life had him become very stubborn and develop a black-and-white view on things. Duck usually refuses to hear others out, insisting the way he does it is always right unless being directly shown in his face that he is wrong. His constant bragging about the GW makes him quite obnoxious to those he isn’t very close to. Thomas and he especially constantly bud heads and disagree on almost everything, the only thing they openly share to have in common is their respect and appreciation for Edward. Another one would be Gordon as not a single conversation of them can go without Gordon telling him to shut up in any way.

A very infamous incident he got himself into was with a devious man his age, Darius Diesel. Diesel openly criticized Duck’s beloved “Great Western way”, even making some valid points but Duck was infuriated with that newbie getting all cocky and daring to insult the GW. So Duck decided to play a prank on Diesel to humiliate him and thus making him unable to make a good first impression. When Duck learnt his prank went probably too far, it was already too late, Diesel decided to hate Duck and to pay him back tenfold. This all ended with Duck being ostracized for a while as he was accused of spreading nasty rumors of others.

In the end it turned out to be Diesel’s fault and everyone made up again, everyone but Duck and Diesel, who have had strong animosity between each other since then. 

The people Duck clearly shares the closest bond with are Oliver, Toad,  Donald and Douglas, especially Donald.

9 & 10 - Donald & Douglas McIntosh

Age: 24 (Donald is the older twin by 12 minutes)

Height: 183 cm

A pair of enthusiastic twins from Scotland. After the Dunalastair twins lost their parents to a burglar killing them when they were 12 years old, they were taken in by their grandparents, who only reluctantly adopted them as they were very superstitious, believing twins to be a bad omen. Their new living environment was very abusive, having to live through very painful 4 years. Every bit of misfortune their grandparents experienced were blamed on the twins for being “cursed”, receiving harsh punishments as result, especially Douglas as the younger twin. This all culminated when their grandparents tried to kill Douglas in an attempt to free themselves of the curse by only having to raise one child. Douglas’ food was poisoned, the physical punishment grew harsher and harsher and one day their grandfather wanted to drown Douglas in the bathtub. This almost succeeded if Donald had not stepped in. He rescued his brother and they went to get help, ending with their grandparents getting arrested. The twins later ended up in the care of a loving foster family, the McIntoshs. 

The McIntosh family severely improved their lives and they were grateful but the abuse they went through before left deep emotional scars on both twins, Donald grew overprotective of his younger twin and Douglas grew more quiet and anxious and was not able to eat anything given to him by anyone else but Donald. They had sworn to forever stick together and to always watch out for another. They love each other dearly, calling themselves “Donnie” and “Dougie” respectively.  

When they were 20, Donald received a job offer to work on Sodor. To make sure he and Douglas would not be separated, they arrived together, their hair and clothes styled to look identical as they are used to impersonating each other for fun and for protection. After causing some confusion, proving themselves as equally useful and with help from the others both ended up hired.

Both love their new work as they are very responsible, diligent, professional, competent and have a strong work ethic, the McIntosh twins are a most reliable duo.

They have become a positive example for others and are often seen, lecturing the other, way more chaotic pair of twins, Bill and Ben.

Both twins are practical, proud, clever, mature and not to be messed with but they also enjoy themself some harmless jokes, preferring to laugh with others, not at others. Donald is very charming, witty and flirtatious whereas Douglas is calm-natured, quick-thinking and serious. Once Donald teased Duck about his “quacking”, ending with Donald getting a pet duck named Dilly, who he is a very proud dad of.

When Douglas went missing for two weeks, Donald went borderline insane, needing to find his brother at any and all cost, having flashbacks from their lives with their grandparents. He was so worried sick, it got him almost hospitalized. Right before many were ready to give up hope, Douglas returned with two men named Oliver and Toad in company, who he had apparently saved from being hunted down. Learning to be forcefully separated makes them both miserable.

One day Donald and Douglas had an incident in which Donald got injured, leaving him with a small scar on his lower lip. It was their first really big argument, where neither wanted to speak with each other for a day. They even insisted working separately but they once again grew miserable, making up again after Douglas got Donald out of a pinch.

11 - Oliver Armstrong

Age: 28 

Height: 190 cm

Oliver is of similar Great Western descent as Montague but he wasn’t raised strictly after GW values and thus is way less stubborn. He is reasonable and approaches things with logic first. He is very calm and just wants things to go smoothly. 

The Armstrong family became a target of a crime syndicate for reasons Oliver is not aware of yet. Assassins were sent after him and all his relatives, he had lost almost all of his family and was on the run for nearly three years. During this time he met a homeless man who called himself Toad. The two quickly became friends and decided to travel together. Planning to leave the mainland, they sneaked on a boat that unbeknownst to them brought them to the island of Sodor. While hiding in the woods for a while, they encountered the young Scot, Douglas McIntosh. Telling him their story, he decided to help them find a safe place to stay. The journey took a long time because they got lost and even encountered an assassin going after Oliver. After a long and deadly game of hide and seek, they were able to get rid of the assassin by making him fall down a cliff. Finally at home, Oliver and Toad received a place to stay in exchange for work by Sir Topham Hatt. 

Soon Oliver became insanely cocky and arrogant after sharing his crazy story and receiving tons of admiration and respect by everyone, even by people as vain as Gordon and James. All that praise really got over his head until he got humbled in a humiliating incident he brought onto himself.

Feeling great gratitude towards Douglas for his help, they formed a very close bond as co-workers and friends. They started dating and he got a side eye from Donald telling “Make Dougie happy or else!”.

Oliver is still wondering what could have caused a criminal organization to want his family erased and wishes for answers but is also content with maybe never receiving any if it means to finally live a happy and safe life, right?

12 - Emily Stirling

Age: 57

Height: 171 cm 

A good-hearted and strong-willed lady raised in Scotland. Very active and energetic despite her age and is more than willing to still work hard regardless of protests from her relatives. She was born into a branch family of the Gresleys but married into the Stirlings, she is one of Gordon’s aunts. Emily left the mainland after her husband's passing to find something new for herself as a way to move on.

She was very surprised to meet a nephew of hers on Sodor when she started her new job there. Unfortunately she arrived during very grim times as that was the time Henry was stuck in an abusive relationship with another one of her nephews. Emily’s empathetic nature and understanding of the more sinister Gresleys made her essential to help out. Later on she still has a very positive relationship with Henry, looking out for him during his healing process or treating him when he suddenly collapsed from his anemia and there were no doctors around.

Generally Emily looks out after others as she is very motherly and that also includes scolding those who act silly and cause trouble. She loves taking charge and can be bossy and competitive, easily getting snappy with those standing in her way, showing she still is a Gresley at heart.

Usually people either love or hate Emily due to her strong and impressionable personality in combination with har age. She mostly spends time with Thomas, Henry, Edward, Daisy, Annie, Clarabell, Henrietta, Donald and Douglas, the latter two she ends up getting very close to with all three having ties to Scotland. Outside work Emily is very fun-loving and you can have a very good time with her.

[potatobugz]

i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.

i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.

and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.

there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.

the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.

why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies

at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.

good for him.

[notmoreflippingelves]

I need to ramble more about Esteban Flores, because everything about this character and his arc seem as though it was tailor-made for me and specifically designed to make me absolutely feral.

This going below the cut, both because I do not want to spoil the entire show for my friend who is think of watching Elena of Avalor and because I go full-on apologist here and I feel like that will annoy some people.

Imagine making the absolute worst mistake than anyone could possibly make, because you are 18 and scared and stupid and tired of being ignored. And it results in you losing your family and your freedom and what little self-respect you had left because you know all of this is very much your own fault.

 And so you proceed to spend the next 41(!) years eking out a miserable existence in an oppressive state. Upon fear for your life, you are forced to be the reluctant right-hand of the evil witch-queen who conquered your country, killed your aunt and uncle and trapped your cousin in magical prison. In spite of this, you nevertheless do everything within your limited power trying to hold the kingdom together and make sure the people don't starve, because the queen certainly doesn't care about anything except greedily bleeding your country dry.

And no exaggeration, this is just what canon explicitly gives us outright in the pilot. Like that's not even getting into head canons/interpretations/common sense of what exactly this sort of life entailed for you. Because this is a children's show so there's only so much they will let us imply about living under that kind of system. Especially as a young, attractive, terrified person who is the last living member of the previous royal family who is likely being kept alive partly as a combination trophy/punching bag for the evil queen (even if the show never actually states this outright).

And then by some miracle, what's left of your family comes back after all this time. The evil queen is overthrown, partly because you yourself finally stood up to her at a critical moment. You and your country are finally free again, and what's more, you and your family are finally together again after over 4 decades. But you still feel like an outsider--partly because you always were an outsider in your family even in the better times and partly because  over the past 41(!) years, time stood still for all of them except you.

And as a result, no one ever cares to ask what those 41 years were like for you or even just if you’re doing okay. Not only because your family can’t even begin to comprehend what it must have been like, but also because they don’t care to even *try* to understand. Because the narrative has decided that everyone else’s respective traumas is worth way more than your own.  (Though tbf the narrative really doesn’t dwell much on anyone’s trauma in general but yours gets especially neglected , except to briefly play it for laughs or to remind you that your trauma is *your own fault and only your own*).

For a little while, life is pretty okay. It’s weird not having to watch your step every instant to make sure you’re not putting a toe out of line. And so you never really fully break out of your “survival mode” conditioning, making sure that you are still considered important and valuable enough to keep around.

But all the while, you know that your past—and especially your terrible little secret—is eventually going to come back to haunt you. And it does. First via blackmail and then via the return  of the evil witch-queen herself. Fortunately, she is defeated for good before she can take avenge your “betrayal of her” but you still have to deal with seeing the ghost from the past who terrorized you for 41(!) years.

And then, your secret finally comes out in the open and you are disowned by your family—the family you *just* got back a few years ago—for an admittedly super bad decision that you made over four decades ago and have regretted ever since.  Rather than face the rest of your life in isolation (as though you didn’t already have enough of that during the previous regime), you escape before you can be sent into exile. This puts you directly in the path of *another* terrifying, evil magical milf who you are forced to ally yourself with. Because you have 40+ years of conditioning that when a woman like that says “jump,” you say “how high?” if you are to have any hope of survival.  Especially given that the only people who could’ve protected you from her are the family and friends who have just definitively washed their hands of you.

Despite this, you are still trying to seek your cousin’s forgiveness and to protect her in the little ways that you can. But you are constantly getting rebuffed over and over again, and if anything, your attempts at reconciliation only seem to make your cousin angrier, and she now hates you just as much as—if not MORE than—the woman who actually murdered her parents.

Your cousin is so angry at you specifically that she actively ignores the greater threat of Witchy Milf 2.0, because she happens to see your face and is enraged. This ends up backfiring spectacularly for you both, though it does indirectly lead to the defeat of said Witchy Milf 2.0.

But guess what?  There’s no time to breathe or celebrate, because her defeat occurred during the successful summoning of a third power-mad, feminine-presenting magical humanoid and her allies. At least, this one treats you with some initial respect and actually gives you outright what you-think-you’ve-thought-you-always wanted. But she also turns your family and friends to stone in front of you as a warning of what’s to come if you dare to defy her.

But this time, you are finally done with this, have finally lost enough that you have paradoxically found your courage. You sacrifice yourself to save your cousin, and she is finally able to accept that you’ve sacrificed and changed enough that she can forgive you. And her forgiveness is so powerful and pure that it not only restores you to life but also undoes all the other evil magic. Together, you defeat this final enemy, paradoxically by banishing her to the same Underworld where your mistakes accidentally sent your aunt and uncle and her parents long ago.  Peace has been restored. You have returned for good and are finally secure in your family’s love.

And after all that, there are *still* people (both presumably in universe and in the fandom outside of it) who say it's too little, too late and that it would've been better for everyone if you'd simply stayed dead.

Like I'm just... are we really victim-blaming the character who has 45 years of unprocessed trauma and guilt (both survivor's guilt and guilt in general) because of a decision he made when his brain was still developing and he was being manipulated by an older, much more powerful person?

[daily-whistlepaw]

daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167

I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it

[silverspleen]

Me: I am an adult, and have made excellent strides in processing my prior Issues.

My brain: BITCH U THOUGHT

[fear-o-phobia]

i know the ‘buck has sex with his therapist’ subplot is played for laughs which i hate the same way a lot of people do but my own personal belief is that the reason bobby and co aren’t more insistent about “buck, this was an assault” is because it would bring him more distress to face it than he is by the fact that it happened at all. buck shrugs it off as ���haha, buck 1.0 was crazy, huh?!” and the 118 mirrors this back to him because it’s only going to drive a wedge between them all to insist that something that buck didn’t experience as an assault in fact was one. so when eddie goes “wait, you slept with your therapist?” sounding slightly horrified the rest of the 118 is like Yeah, we know, just leave it alone! but because eddie is the only one who wasn’t there for buck 1.0 he’s also the only person who i think buck would be inclined to listen to if he tried to address it with buck because the version of himself eddie is best friends with is someone who has/is learning sexual agency and not as someone to whom coercive sexual experiences are innate

[ochtendstorm]

doen jullie soms zo per ongeluk een nieuw traumadoosje open om dan zo heel subtiel alsof je het niet gezien hebt de doos terug toe te doen

i will pretend i did not see it.

[maounteighn]

adding to "he would not fucking say that" by extending it to "his therapy would not fucking work like that"

[sanremengoni]

.

[favonius-captain]

ever since i've been put on meds my dreams have gotten so much more vivid and i can actually remember them and it's actually so wack because it's not like depressing or anything it's like, i remember that one dream where two of my friends like snapped off a branch of a tree and the tree started spitting out russian proverbs

[alcego]

tfw therapy gives u trauma u have to work out… in therapy

[foxgirlmoth]

Aw lads not again

[lokislittlesigyn]

me, in therapy: huh this exposure therapy isn’t too bad

me, literally seconds after therapy:

[orpheusilver]

oh my god hes even holding red fabric when he talks about the last time he removed his helmet around others..........red being both the dominant colour in flashbacks to the day his family died¹ and the colour in mandalorian armour painting thats associated with honouring parents².....