#therapy has been wild
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doen jullie soms zo per ongeluk een nieuw traumadoosje open om dan zo heel subtiel alsof je het niet gezien hebt de doos terug toe te doen
i will pretend i did not see it.
#persoonlijk#therapy has been wild#my mental health has been WILD#the trauma has been TRAUMA-ing#da's een werkwoord nu#soms ben ik vooral van: hallo welkom... wtf is dit?#mijn interne werekd is wild#16 en onwetend zijn over the extreme trauma was so weird#ya'll would not believe wat er de afgelopen bijna 10 jaar gebeurd veranderd ontdekt is#ik zou keigraag alles op het internet dumpen maar beetje raar als reallife mensen dat lezen jeweetwel#imagine your friends finding about about ... via your tumblr blog#wild#let's not#oversharing is caring#thank you for reading my tags byebye
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Was just thinking about the amount of animals Obi-Wan interacts with compared to literally everyone else and in the Clone Wars episode where Kamino gets attacked he literally gets saved twice by the same ray-like animal and just...
The growth from judging Qui-Gon for the 'pathetic lifeforms' he picks up to whatever he has going on during the Clone Wars era. He must have gotten that from Qui-Gon though, right?
And because it's my brain and it's rotting with all the star wars stuff I am consuming I was thinking of Obi-Wan saving all these creatures and the 212th having to deal with that. Surely they made one of the rooms pet proof in case one of them needs a new home. There also have to be clones who love that because of course Obi-Wan can't really take care of rescues on top of all his duties.
After the first few times this happens Cody learns to order animal food and other necessities. And if the Republic doesn't fulfill these requests or asks too many questions he'll just have to make sure to organize them on planet during the campaigns.
#maybe they even keep a tooka or two#for the morale#but seriously#i have been thinking about writing a soft crackfic about this#just the 212th travelling with a whole zoo#already made up my own clones and all#cody is very done but it makes his general happy so who is he to complain?#when the 501st learn about it they start bothering Rex about it#or they ask Anakin ans Ahsoka to do thr same type of Jedi magics#they want pets too can you blame them?#obi wan is pretty oblivious to all of this#he just wants to help!!#and the tenth tooka was looking just *so* sad what was he supposed to do? leave it all alone and sad and scared?#it's just chaos all around#but also so soft#clones don't get a lot of chances to pet any animals during their training and war doesn't really offer these opportunities either#so whenever other battalions work with the 212th and learn about their zoo they get excited#accidental therapy animals for the clones#and the jedi because what better way to find the energy to keep fighting and bonding with an innocent lifeform that gets affected by the war#adoptions go wild#the wolfpack asks Plo for wolves#Plo struggles to say no#star wars#tcw#obi wan kenobi#212th attack battalion#commander cody#accidental animal acquisition#I just remembered vaguely that in one of the Jedi Apprentice books Obi Wan has a bird on his shoulder??#maybe he didn't get this from Qui Gon after all though I'm sure Qui Gon encouraged and reinforced that behaviour
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sobbing at every heart event ...
#stardew valley#sdv shane#farmer koi#as someone who grew up thinking i would be fine with death at 18#as someone who struggled so hard with connecting with others because everything felt suffocating#being able to tell shane that im happy hes here is like telling myself that and hoo boy im crying#the things id love to hear and the things said to me being options in the six heart event#really impacted me#as someone who related to no after plan in the four heart event because i still dont even have a real plan in life#just wow the flashbacks to being unhappy in school the thoughts of being condemned in sunday school#and the fact you can tell him its a sin as a reason to not roll off a cliff is just enough to remind me of how much that hurts#as if im so bad you have to try guilting me into living... gosh#shanes heart events are therapy for me to actually tell someone i relate to YOURE STILL HERE AND THATS GOOD#like does concernedape know how therapeutic its been to tell shane the things i wanna hear#anyway sorry for the possibly depressing tags that is why i kept them in the tags#watch me go back and just delete all the tags but yeah this has been emotional to see from a diff perspective#im so used to being shane that its wild to see what it might look like and its kinda crushing me
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speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling
#[static]#it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism#some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under#i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever#it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others#and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing#like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks#every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like#one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways#something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out#i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery#poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop#never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on#so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly#and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again#its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much#im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel
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daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167
I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night#but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning#man it was not fun#(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about#being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me#annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help#either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra#I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off#and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué#I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain#and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess#I might have to eventually but I don't wanna#anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!
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#hm . feeling Weird#life has just . been happening lately . but none of it feels like it's been happening to Me i'm just kinda . there#or like . i can have a very intense experience like emotionally and then a day later i can barely remember how i felt during it ??#the last weeks have been wild . but also theyve been so normal . i don't fucking know#nothing is happening and yet so much is happening ! get me out !!!#man . 2 weeks till end of term . maybe thatll fix me#also i should fix my sleep schedule perhaps#dude i don't fucking know . why the hell did i quit therapy#s.txt
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I've been toying with a dragonformers au in my head. Not set in a particular canon, bit of a fusion of whatever I want.
So the transformers are dragons, obviously. But I'm torn between having it be about dragon riders, so Dot with Megatron, Raoul with Tracks, etc. Or a conservation area for wild dragons, with the humans basically being park rangers. Or a combo, a retirement area for dragons used for combat.
I'm sorry, I'm just tossing ideas about.
Hmmmm. Now, I'm not quite familiar with dragonformers as I've probably only read one? Fic with it, and even then i didn't quite finish the fic.
Buuuut, here's what I'm thinking here: a mixture, like you've suggested above. Some of them have grown up with humans their entire lives (or most of their lives) and have handlers. Some have had little to no human contact throughout their life up until this point. Some fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. I feel like it's exactly a good idea to suggest some are former military, but not all of them. Why do I suggest that last line? Hear me out, but
Dragon rehab.
#as I've mentioned before I'm still not entirely thawed out when it comes to the idea if [blank]formers but i definitely consider it#i myself like to keep them as sapient as possible just like they are in canon but hey that's me#dragonformers#maccadam#transformers#au#the picture i was getting in my head was mostly tfa and g1 but i definitely definitely couldn't stop thinking about the aligned predacons#or the game of thrones universe even though i have literally never watched a single episode or read a single book in it.#all i know about game of throwns is the fire and ice modpack and a youtube spec bio vid and ykw that's all i need#the only clear characters i was getting was hot rod and megatron#with hot rod having been raised with humans his entire life and he's here to drag everyone else into therapy (physical and other)#i was conflicted on Megs being 100% wild or if he's a veteran (tfp version for the first but tfa version for the second)#that's all i have😅#hot rod would look so fucking cool as a dragon#he has phoenix based dragon vibes#oh right ig mtmte is also in the mix in my head but mostly the more lighthearted parts
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I'm 14 eps into Station 19 and ngl I'm starting to need Bobby in a crossover with them so those writers can finally convince this man to go to therapy
#they've made two firefighters afraid of fire within those 14 eps and they pretty much immediately addressed it for both of them???#they got to confide in others and get help so fast#travis even got to go to group therapy in the same ep where he first froze in a fire#truly a wild experience considering bobby's canonically been at risk of panic attacks bc of fire since 2016 (in an ep that aired in 2019)#and not one single person has ever said a WORD about it#911 writers TAKE SOME DANG NOTES#911#station 19#mine.#text#bobby
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i thiiiink my headache is finally gone. at least i desperately fucking hope so
#purrs#i could’ve pushed through it but i didn’t and now i only have one day left of this three day weekend to pack / buy stuff for the trip / prep#the redacted / get some driving practice in and i have therapy today mid afternoon and didn’t finish my homework for it bc i was overthinkin#g what im supposed to do. but aughhh i haven’t even looked at restaurants yet i haven’t even started planning i haven’t even prepped my#sessions really but im so excited but also so scared and i haven’t thought ahead far enough and i still feel the ghost of the headache and I#im SO scared i’ll get another one or like train sickness (?) during the trip or be sleep deprived one way or another. asb was a nightmare#for me bc i couldn’t sleep and this time im also responsible for the group but nowhere NEAR to the same degree / loneliness so it should be#ok but it was so bad that im rly nervous to be in that same kinda position again… but hopefully it’ll be ok#conference tag#<- WILD to be using this in the present btw. i haven’t been to an in person one of these since 2019. and a lot has changed……
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That was cute I actually enjoyed that!
#Dude playing through the wild woods sidequest and then doing this really is like therapy#This wasn't Perfect but it was a good time and it wrapped something that has been#MIA for like what actual years?#up and also had some genuinely funny and nice dialogue#Think it's kinda interesting that they actually translate Mrs Drake as Fru Drake now tho that surprised me#Also why wasn't Anne there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#One gripe!!!!!!!!! NO ANNE CAMEO
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That made him a bottom omg what about Daisy???? they made Luigi a bottom!!!
Y’all really thought Daisy didn’t wear the pants in that relationship????
#mario movie#shitpost#shitposting#never knew this ship existed up until recently#y’all are going wild and it’s lowkey hilarious#besides Bower has to go to therapy and focus on his family before he’s ready to be intimately involved with another person#praying they don’t erase Peach’s personality and try to make her into a stereotypical girlboss cause she’s always been a bad bitch
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elyse and i started rewatching homeland bc we’re down bad for damian lewis right now and this show is batshit bonkers every character is clinically insane and there is SO much sex i cannot believe i used to watch this with my PARENTS??????
#this dude has been home from being a POW for 8 years and his wife morena baccarin is like well the last 8 years sucked for me to#girl???? time and place?????#meanwhile carrie is...deeply paranoid and it's not her fault she does need medication and therapy not the fckin cia#but the wild thing is iirc she is 100% correct about all of her suspicions#WILD!!!!!#text post
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not totally sure why a very kind and encouraging email from a friend from my last master's made me cry but will be taking it as a sign that i need to go to therapy more!!!
#well i know why but i don't want to talk about it because i think the feelings are still in the stage of if i try to get words out i will#be using my 50 allotted minutes of therapy to sob-heave so hard i'm dehydrated for three days and frankly there's other stuff i'd like to#deal with in that time so i have to seek out other moments to sob-heave about academia and TRULY there is no time in my schedule for THAT#(i say this as someone who meant to get up at 7:30 and didn't get out of bed until 11)#kinda crazy also that i am still in dehydrating sob mode about these academic feelings considering that it has been an entire year since th#thing that started them happened but i guess i am finding out that this is the nature of difficult epochal events in one's life#going through it this week lads!!!!#rare pic of me in the wild
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❄️☃️❄️
#first snow first snow FIRST SNOOWWW~#'tis officially Roxy's season so i am freezing myself to death for her®retting nothing lmao.#as an aside Turbo's seasonal limp has stayed away thus far!! even after playing in the snow today.#fingers crossed for continued good fortune for the babies. 🤞🤞🤞#&me actually; as is standard w/ me my misfortunes have come back around to work in my favour.#the increased amounts of physical therapy+assorted other focuses have been paying off.#its shit work but of all the work ive done in my life its been well worth it.#thats the snow!! w/ me in it!! wearing like three layers&NOT clawing out of my skin!!#wild right???#yas#♡
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#anxiety tw#i just watched lewis’ documentary#this is gonna be a little tmi so bear with me#genuinely did not know that much about him personally so it’s fucking wild to see all the pressures and anxieties he had to face after#the success of his first album like i can’t even imagine feeling so much pressure over something so complex#huge love to him honestly#i’m gonna side step a little from bc i was watching it with my mom right#and mental illnesses are so fucking complex and different for every person that has them right#so we get to the big climax in which it all starts to build up for him right#and i’ve never said this online before right but my brother’s has diagnosed autism since he was a toddler and he has add and anxiety on top#and my mom’s always been very on top of that with him and tried to get him therapy and shit for it for years#and medication and all that stuff#like to the point where i remember going out of town to get him to a doctor and get him meds and shit#and he hasn’t taken anything in a while and my mom kind of chilled about it after he graduated high school#so she goes ‘you know that’s how your brother is like’ while we’re seeing lewis experience his own anxiety etc#while i’m over here almost crying bc it definitely hit close to home for me and my own personal experience#and it feels so fucking shitty that like bc a professional has never told us that i have an anxiety disorder or depression or any other#fucking mental illness that my mom just brushes off my own feelings and struggles#when some days i can barely get up in the morning and somedays i think about not doing it anymore and every day i sort of harm myself#so i just tell her to shut up and she gets mad when like#i’ve had to hide it for years so she doesn’t get worried then hit the breaking point and asked for help and they didn’t do anything about it#idk i guess i’m just tired of being pushed aside when i’m clearly aching
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PLEASE
#this day has been. so wild#get hired to feed animals. add new horses to therapy center mural. come home work on new items. make dinner#then mom comes home and there's ANOTHER STALKER#who CALLED the horse rescue i used to live at that no one outside of immediate family knew the name or location of#thank god Darla called to give us the heads up about the call she got. jesus christ#man.#can i have ONE YEAR#one year without a stalker#i really thought this would be that year#this is like worse whamageddon#time to check up on my supplies and make sure theyre ready again#sigh.
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