#trauma holder box

[abyss-boxes]

[TEXT ID 1: “This alter is a moodbooster”]

[TEXT ID 2: “This alter is a trauma holder”]

[TEXT ID 3: “This alter is a protector”]

Basic alter roles again :)

REBLOGS OVER LIKES

[boxesforsys]

This x holds relationship trauma userboxes! Click for quality

[fraugwinska]

What about the reader found and old radio, they thought the radio was broken but it's not, it's just antique.. when they play it at night time alastor broadcast was heard first they feel something is odd.. but they love to listen to his voice, heck they even like talking to each other, because of this encounter alastor talk about it to rosie, she was happy hearing alastor telling her stories but she feel odd when alastor mention that the person he talks to is a human, Rosie giving him advice to not fall for human because they're different species, and it will make him weak etc.

Alastor feel guilty and agree with rosie advice so he's stop contacting the reader from the radio, he thinks that the reader will be fine but no the reader take it personally.. they thought alastor don't want to talk to them anymore.. it drive them mad and lead to suicide..

So yeah angst :D

Oh Anon. What have you done.

I cried while I wrote that - it took two very good friends of mine to encourage me to post it (Thanks to @macabr3-barbi3 and @mysterypotatoink). But I think it's tragic and beautiful, and honestly - I'm kinda proud of it!

TW: Psychological Trauma, descend into madness, loss of self care and suicide - please take care of yourself and do not read if you aren't comfortable with any of the mentioned! MINORS DNI

Here we go.

❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️

Leap of Faith

You carried in the last box from you banged-up minivan. The old thing barely made it to your new home. A little cabin in the outskirts of New Orleans, a little off the grid and surrounded by the peaceful and whirring bayous of Louisiana.

A fixer-upper, just like yourself.

The online auction had intrigued you the second you found it, the photos were a bit blurry and you knew it was a risk to buy a place you've never set foot in, but something in you called you to get it. The price you paid was laughable, barely making a dent in your savings. Moving states sounded scary and impossible, but you felt oddly calm about it.

You didn't have a lot of stuff to move anyway. After all, you only lived with your late grandmother, and she never really cared for material things. Your parents left you at her doorstep, never to be seen again.

Caring for her in her last, sickness-ridden years had been a no-brainer - it felt like nothing in comparison to all she had done for you - but it also had been a bit lonely.

You had your friends, if you could even call them that, but you rarely saw them - guiding your nan through the last months of her life had been demanding and time-consuming. It had left you exhausted and emotionally unavailable, and after a while, calls and texts ceased, until it was just you and her. You felt lost, as if the world was slowly pulling away from you.

When she finally died, peacefully in her sleep, you felt sad, relieved and drained.

Detached from the city you lived in.

Lost.

So you decided to sell what little you inherited, except for a few sentimental mementos, and move away from it all. To start a new life, a happier one, finally one that was truly your own.

You took the final box inside, setting it on the coffee table and wiped the sweat from your brow. You looked around the little cabin: The roof had some spots that needed a patch, and the wood floors were a bit warped, but it was all yours. No more having to share anything with anyone.

The cabin came furnished, a lot of the stuff was old, but still usable. You figured that would change once you settled in and had a vision of what you wanted and needed to buy. The thought of thinking about no one but yourself made you nervous.

But a little excited, too.

The old furniture would do for the moment, but there was a particular piece that caught your eye: an old, vintage cathedral radio, sitting nestled in between a cracked wooden box and a tarnished, bronze candle holder in a bookcase that was a bit out of place in the tiny space. With a tilted head, you stepped closer to inspect it, drawn to it by it's unique character and beauty.

It looked as well-loved as it looked well-used, the mahogany a bit scuffed, the knobs a little worn from years of being turned. But there were golden details etched into the front, and you traced them lightly with a finger, strangely touched and intrigued.

You were certain the old thing didn't work, but when you plugged it into the nearby socket, static erupted from the speakers, making you jump back. You had to smile, though.

Tonight, you wouldn't be alone. You'd have this little device and a little music for good company.

***

"I'm home!" you announced to no one in particular, as you closed the door behind you, your hands full with overfilled grocery bags full of necessities, waiting to fill your empty cabinets.

The day had been hot, but a welcome breeze of the impending night break cooled the inside of your little cabin a bit. With a quiet grunt you set the paper bags down at the small kitchenette. Your groceries were quickly dispersed, and you put on an apron you saved from your grandmother as you got started on dinner.

You hummed as you cut vegetables and boiled water. It had been a long time since you had cooked, really cooked, your nan wasn't much for eating and had no problem living off of simple soups and toast. When you opened your fridge to get some butter, your glance fell onto the radio.

A little music would be nice, you decided, and you walked over, cleaning your hands on the red, frilly cloth around your waist before you turned the dial. The soft sound of static made you hum in contempt - yup. Still works. A little turn to the left, and the room was filled with a soft jazzy tune, the melody a bit grainy, but you didn't mind that at all. You returned to the stove, swaying your hips to the beat as you worked. The music made you feel at ease, and for a moment, the world seemed to be just right.

Just as the onions began to brown in the pan, the song faded out to a voice. You turned your head to the radio, intrigued by the unusual, eccentric accent of the host. It reminded you of the old, vintage films and recordings your grandmother had been fond of - wasn't it called 'transatlantic'?. Whatever it was, it made you smile.

"Now wasn't that a kick in the head, dearest listener? I sure hope you enjoyed the little musical interlude, but it's time to return to the real show! As usual, my name is Alastor, and you are listening to the best jazz, blues and swing music that Hell has to offer!"

You blinked, a little puzzled and yet amused. "Sure is hot as hell today, strange man in the radio.", you mumbled, chuckling as you stirred the bell peppers under the caramelized onions.

"Today we have a very special guest joining my humble broadcast, it seems. Pleasure to meet you, darling, quite the pleasure!"

"Oh who? Me?" you asked, looking theatrically over your shoulder with batted lashes, shaking your head over your own silliness. You weren't used to talking out loud to yourself, or even really thinking out loud. You were always alone, after all, but the little pretend-play was fun. You laughed a bit, waiting for the host's guest to speak.

"Of course you, little dove. Who else would I mean?"

You gasped, and nearly dropped the spoon as you whipped around, eyes glued to the humming, orange glow of the radio in the dim darkness of your living room.

"What's that? You're surprised, my dear? Don't worry, you're not the only one! This is a first for me, too. Never had a human join my program. I must say, I'm quite intrigued! Tell me, what is your name?"

Your eyes grew wide, and the hairs at the back of your neck stood up. You took a hesitant step backwards and hit the hot stove, making you curse under your breath. Was the heat finally getting to you?

"Don't be shy now, darling. I'm not gonna hurt you, cross my lil' old, blackened heart."

"I-I'm..." you began, swallowing as your fingers tightened around the wooden spoon. "My name is..."

"Yes?"

"I'm... crazy.", you mumbled, rubbing a hand over your face and chuckling a bit. You were just going insane, that's all. Must be the stress, combined with the intense heat. And lack of a companion, a tiny voice reminded you. Yes. Must be.

"Hello crazy, this is Alastor." The host laughed, together with a canned audience.

"Alastor...", you repeated, realization settling in - this wasn't a joke, or a trick of your mind.

"At your service, my dear.", the voice cooed. "Now, I believe you still owe me your name..."

***

You weren't crazy.

Or if you were, you didn't mind. Not with Alastor by your side - or, to be exact, in the radio on your bookcase.

After two weeks of ignoring the cursed radio after unplugging it in a wave of panic on your first night, your morbid curiosity got the better of you. You plugged it back in, and turned on the dial. Just once, you told yourself, then never ever again.

And that's how the two of you got in contact with each other once more. Alastor was as chipper as the first time you heard him, and after a bit of back-and-forth, he promised once again not to harm you, and you shared your name with him. The rest was history. He was very pleasant company. For a demon from hell.

You wouldn't classify the conversations you had with him as a real friendship in the beginning, but you did talk. Occasionally. Mostly in the evenings, when you cooked dinner: He'd ask you about your day and would pry eagerly for a little bit of gossip or new information about the modern New Orleans. When he let it slip that he lived in this very cabin in the 1920's, you weren't stopping with questions about what it was like back in his days, which he, in return, answered generously and enthusiastically.

The first few times he would try to coerce you into making a deal for your soul, casually sprinkling the offer into his small talk, but with enough blunt refusals and a few more days of radio silence (pun intended), he dropped the topic and seemed content on just talking. You, in return, found yourself relaxing into his charming company, your brain happily engaged with trying to wrap your head around him, or better, you tried to come to terms with it.

Weeks passed, and turning the radio on in the evenings became less of an occasional lapse of judgment but more of a routine you were looking forward to. You could tell the Alastor felt the same, his banter became less tense and acted, and a little more genuine.

It made your heart swell in happiness, that someone out there seemed to appreciate your company – even if that someone wasn't human.

Apprehension became amusement, and fascination became friendship. Oddly enough, you found common grounds in a lot of things: A love for cooking and good music. Preferring books over films. Red wine over white. A shared aversion of vulgarity, and appreciation for good manners.

Your nights were cut shorter and shorter, you would spend hours chatting on and on, until the deep darkness of night disappeared into a shade of blue on the horizon. Neither of you minded, at least that was what you thought. Alastor never ended the conversations with you. Either you had to say your goodbyes, or you would just fall asleep after hours of talking on your couch, and awake with a pained back to a shut-off radio. Then, after you'd realize that you would have a whole day ahead of you without hearing his voice, the loss would make your chest ache.

Two months into the 'thing', which was still a strange concept you could barely comprehend, the truth of the matter dawned on you: You liked him. Not just because he was a surprisingly amicable voice coming out of your vintage radio, a lively constant in the uneventful life you had made for yourself in Louisiana - he had become important to you, irreplaceable, even. An essential element to your life. You couldn't imagine how you'd gone so long without him, and yet, here you were, lost without him, scrambling through the hours until you could talk to him once more.

"Something on your mind, darling? You're awfully quiet today."

You held your fork and knife still above the salmon you had just been about to eat. It was the first meal of the evening in a long time where you weren't spending the entirety of the preparation time speaking to him, lost in thought about your blossoming feelings. He had gotten excellent at reading you like an open book - you should've gotten used to it after a couple of weeks of him catching on to every little change in your demeanor and knowing just what to say, when you were feeling happy, upset or nervous.

"Oh, um... no. It's nothing Al. Work had me in a wringer today."

"Is it your co-worker Susan again?" You could basically hear his eyes rolling, making you chuckle. "That name must be cursed, every single soul with that name is a menacing pain."

"Maybe,", you muttered, nibbling on a piece of the roasted fish. "This one is mostly just an ornery old bitch."

"Taking the words right out of my mouth, dear." he laughed.

There's was a comfortable pause, with just a gentle background noise of his ever-playing static and an easy, melodic tune coming from his program.

"Is that really all that preoccupies that pretty little head of yours?"

You blushed, picking at the food with your fork. "Bold for a guy who's never seen me to assume my head is pretty."

The radio crackled with pops and feedback. "Bold to assume I can't see you whenever I want, little dove." he said, his voice strangely deeper, tinged with something you didn't catch at the shock of his words.

"You... what?"

"And I can most assure you,", he purred out of the speakers, "pretty is a well fitting word to describe you."

He hummed in approval when your cheeks gained color, as if he knew his comment threw you off guard and made you turn a lovely shade of pink, but it didn't make it any less enticing.

***

"Alastor, if I didn't know better, I would say you have become smitten with this mysterious gal you're blabbing on and about."

Rosie giggled, hitting his shoulder in a playful, friendly swipe. "When will I meet her? Come on now, you can't hide her forever. Or are you afraid she'll like me better?"

She laughed, and Alastor forced a toothy grin. His long time friend was the only one he talked about you with, and he knew she was intrigued whenever she could smell a blooming dalliance, especially with a notoriously abstinent bachelor like himself. Normally, he would laugh at that thought with a healthy dose of mockery, but he found himself to be less and less aversed at the thought - if it would be you. Impossible, of course.

"Nonsense, Rosie dear, nonsense,", he chuckled, taking a large sip from his coffee cup, a heavy hand bringing up a plate stacked with finger sandwiches. "And I'm afraid you won't meet her for a long time, maybe never. Humans seldom traverse to hell in their lifetime, and who knows if the little darling will take on the trip downstairs?"

Rosie coughed in her tea, her blackened eyes wide in shock. "Human? It's a human girl you've been courting here? Oh, Alastor, you old fool."

Alastor scrunched his nose, "Talking, Rosie, talking is all we do. And yes, she's a human. I don't see the quandary in that. It's just a little fun."

"Well,", she huffed with a small, thoughtful frown. "I would've hoped for a little more sense in you." The tall demonesse set down her teacup with nimble fingers.

"You may not call it courting, but if it quacks like a duck, it's a duck, love." Rosie ignored the indignant look Alastor gave her. "You know as well as I do that such a connection is dangerous to entertain. Humans are fragile and fragile things tend to break. And when they do, the owner mostly follows. You need to break this connection off."

Rosie gave him a sad look as his ears flattened against his head. She would've been more than happy for her oldest and dearest friend to have a partner on his side, someone good and honest who really cared about him, maybe loved him even, as unlovable as he was. But she had to protect him from the silly idea of possibly falling for a living, breathing and supposedly untarnished soul, and the heartbreak that would surely follow. "Don't make the mistake of breaking your heart, dear friend." she smiled, a tint of melancholy hidden in the red of her lips.

"I think it's far too late for that."

She offered a handkerchief, but Alastor waved her off, his smile more faint and close to a frown than she's ever seen.

***

The first day where nothing but static noise came out of the radio, you were irritated but just thought: 'Maybe Alastor has something to do'.

The second day of static you grew concerned. 'What if something happened to Alastor? Was he okay?'.

On the third day, you were panicked. 'Maybe he doesn't want to talk to you anymore! Maybe he met someone in hell, someone that he could talk to whenever he wanted and not through an old, dusty radio?'.

"Please talk to me.", you whispered into the empty room. Your knees were pulled to your chest, and you sat on your couch, eyes fixed on the radio in the bookcase. Your eyes stung with the tears threatening to spill. "Please, Al. I miss you." You shook your head, chuckling sadly. It had only been 3 days, but they'd felt like an eternity. The world had seemed silent without Alastor's constant chatter.

When night fell for the fourth day, you were half asleep, eyes red and burning and tears still staining your cheeks. You talked for hours into the void of your house, the radio now moved to sit in front of you on the coffee table, growing more and more desperate as hours passed. Talking faded into pleading, and pleading into begging.

"Please, I'm sorry, if I did something wrong, I'm sorry...", you mumbled into the wooden furnishing, resting your cheek against the top of the machine, eyes slipping shut with fatigue and defeat. A dry sob slipped past your trembling lips, as your hands desperately grabbed the sides of the antique device.

"Alastor please, don't leave me alone here...", you whispered with the last of your strength, before your body succumbed to your exhaustion, your unconscious mind welcomed the darkness.

If you had stayed awake for just a moment more, you would've, maybe, heard the faint shuddering breath beyond the static rumble. But you didn't. So you had no chance at knowing that, Alastor, listening to every word, saw and heard you at your weakest, and all it did to him was stir the embers and give the blaze an opening for the flames of his anger at fate to rage.

Work had called, again. Susan of all people. Threats were made - either come back to work, or don't come back at all. You smashed your phone. It was useless anyway. What was the point without...

Alastor wasn't here, hadn't answered for seven days now. And you had spent the whole time talking, begging him to show himself, just show himself and tell you what you did wrong, just talk to you one last time and then you'd stop, if that was what he wanted. You became obsessed with the orange light of the illuminated screen, imagining the flickers were maybe signs from him.

You stopped eating, stopped drinking, stopped almost anything, you just sat, in front of the radio, unmoving and unwilling to miss the smallest sign of his return.

Every single minute stretched into agony, and every breath that left your lips made a fresh tear roll down your paling cheeks, until your body couldn't produce them anymore. Then, you cried wordless whimpers and moans, even started praying to an unknown entity.

It wasn't as if Alastor owed you anything. It's not as though you thought the two of you were anything other than two kindred souls, one human, one demon, talking to each other. As a result, it wasn't like you had the right to anything from him.

It was strange to consider the connection the two of you shared: Something more than acquaintances, something closer than friends, and yet never fully crossing the line beyond it. The unpenetrable boundary dividing life and death in between.

Your eyes fell on a large, old crucifix on your wall, staring back at you with pity.

For the first time in days, you left the sofa, took it from the wall and burned it on your gas stove, watching the face of the nailed figurine slowly melt in the fire.

***

It had been eight days of excruciating, one-sided silence.

Eight days Alastor cursed his cowardice as he sat, red eyed with claws digging into his scalp, as he listened to you plead for him to talk - To answer. To do anything. Anything, but leave you alone, he heard, as if the words were spoken right in his ear.

Eight days of watching you slowly detriment from the eyes of the shadows he was able to manifest above, tugging on the very fabric of the world to move you, to keep your mind from going where it shouldn't go.

He kept telling himself it was for the better. His shadows murmured persistent reminders that he should find entertainment in your growing lunacy. He was the radio demon, after all. He shouldn't care if this wisp of a human were to perish, should laugh at your wails of agony and despair.

But Alastor never felt less like laughing. Your dried sobs and pained apologies for things you never did wrong in the first place filled his head, taunting and gnawing on him with feelings he thought he was unable to feel: Guilt and Regret.

It was as Rosie had predicted - he was becoming weak. But weakness was something that should be avoided. Had to be. He knew. Being weak, being feeble, would make him vulnerable, make him into the prey his cruel from already portrayed to the world he had to inherit. He couldn't allow it. Couldn't let his feelings for you bring him down to the levels of the sinners in hell he would tear apart and laugh while he did it.

That's why he stayed silent. Endured it, all of it, every word, cry and plea. Stayed invisible and silent, waiting for you to move on, forget him, shut off and leave the radio, never to turn the dial again. For your sake and his.

When the connection broke, on that eight day, Alastor could feel your resignation, your peace with which your pale hands gripped the electrical cord at it's base to pull. And he was suddenly filled with the awareness of something horrible, like a premonition. It set his already battered, aching heart in an ice cold grasp of dread.

His room exploded in green light as he expanded into his full demonic form, his limbs threatening to pull and burst at the stitches and his smile splitting his face almost entirely in half. He had to reach out, had to reform the connection to the radio one last time, even though nearly impossible.

You were about to do something he would never be able to forgive himself for.

***

Your car broke down just where it needed to. You took the radio out of the trunk, knocking the hood two times for a goodbye, the key safely in the ignition. Maybe some other poor soul would find and repair it, make happier memories with it.

You clutched the wooden device closer and started to walk. Indigo blue faded into black as you looked up to the sky that was sprinkled with glowing, shimmering silver dust, stars blinking in the unimaginable distance. There, but out of reach.

Just like him.

Your dry sob stung in your throat, but you didn't really feel the pain. Your eyes were fixed on the path to your final destination, right in front of you.

The Crescent City Connection Bridge was mostly abandoned by traffic at this time of night and provided just enough covered spaces to hide you from some foolish saviors eyes.

You didn't need to be saved.

You didn't want to be saved.

Because you were about to save yourself.

There was nothing waiting for you in the other direction than the one you were going. So, with slow but steady steps, you walked towards the middle of the bridge, settling on a place next to a metal pillar and looked over the railing onto the shimmering waters of the Mississippi River.

Alastor had told you about the river, how he loved to watch the steam boats floating on it from the radio station where he worked at when he was alive. The station was long gone, you didn't even find out where it had been in the first place, but you liked to imagine that you were looking at the same scenery now that he had been looking at when he peered out of his booth in his radio tower.

It made you smile through the tears... You were glad the end was somehow connected to him, even if it was most likely just your naive imagination.

It felt like the device in your arms was emitting static energy, prickling over your arms, hands and fingers as you caressed the mahogany wood gently, feeling as though the radio was shaking in your hands, trying to pull you back from the fenced ledge.

A quiet sob escaped your lips, turning into a giggle and into hysterical laughter. You sat down between the railing, and hugged the radio close, trying to breathe as you closed your eyes, resting your temple on the worn, warm wood.

"It'll be okay, Al.", you said quietly, your voice unnaturally hoarse and rough from lack of use and dehydration. "I'm coming. I'm coming to you.”

With one arm around the radio, holding it tight against your chest, you turned to stand on shaky legs, gripping the railing with one arm and, with one final glance at the stars above you you smiled. You heard sirens in the distance, and some people shouting from a sparkling streamliner passing under the bridge. Time was running short, so you didn't wait to put first one foot over the fence, then the other, taking a deep breath.

"I guess doves were always meant to fly."

And, with that, your body twisted, turned and leaped, falling as the light on the radio, firmly pressed against your heart, began to glow in deepest crimson and swirls of green.

Falling like an angel would descend from grace.

Part 2 for closure

[syscultureis]

plural culture is being annoyed at how people always try to box systems into very specific archetypes which end up confusing people, for example:

"who can be a persecutor?"

— hosts, usually if they're a trauma holder and still in a bad environment

— littles, sometimes they might not be able to understand their trauma responses and what is ok or not

— protectors, technically all alters are proctectors, whether they actually protect or don't

— caregivers, they might want to care for alters or the body but do it in the wrong ways

— literally every other type of alter. there is no restriction on what role an alter can or can't be

.

[hiddenreflections]

How to unstuck a trauma holder

First of, unstucking a trauma holder and grounding them from the persistent emotional pain and constant re-experiencing of trauma they suffer under can take a long time, but there are techniques that can be used to help ground them.

Breathing techniques

Breathing techniques have proven to be quite helpful in grounding an distracting from the emotional anguish. The focus on nothing but the breathing, and on being aware of how the breath moves through your body is very helpful in creating sensations that keep the alter in the here now. Yoga Breathing | Alternate Nostril Breathing (youtube.com) Box breathing relaxation technique: how to calm feelings of stress or anxiety (youtube.com)

Setting up an inner safe space

Setting up an inner safe space can be very helpful and grounding for the alter, they can set it up themselves following simple instructions to do so. This place can then be always visited to practice allowing positive feelings of safety. It can be a place filled with symbolism for their positive qualities, or be something very simple without many details. If they arent capable or willing to create their own inner safe space, you can also attempt to do it for them if they arent against it, this can feel like a gift to them because you do so with the best in mind for them, thinking of what they like, and what what might make them feel safe.

Grounding Exercise for Anxiety #7: Creating a Safe Place - YouTube

Somatic therapy/experiencing

To proccess their trauma emotions, and to feel more at ease with their body somatic experiencing can be very helpful guided and somatic experiencing that just comes to you. Like the alter that might not have spend years in their body using both of their hands to touch their legs, arm, belly to get used to their body again and to feel grounded within it. For them to explore how their body suits them and how it feels nowadays, to become aquainted with how the body differs in the present. Guided Somatic experiencing can lead to the processing of trauma and expression of it, since a lot of trauma-holders are stuck in one or more trauma responses doing this can also help heal their sympathetic nervous system and allign them to get out of their trauma response. A lot of the time trauma holders are in so much pain that merely speaking about their experiences will not help them, theres the rule that once your level of distress reaches a certain height you can only change emotions via emotional reasoning and no longer via rational reasoning, so you have to find other solutions than intellectualizing or talking.

Somatic Practice for Trauma and Stress Release (youtube.com)

Trauma informed Yoga

Similar to somatic experiencing, allows you to proccess repressed emotions and feelings stuck in the body that otherwise cannot get out and cant be intellectualized out

Trauma-Informed Hip Opening Yoga for Emotional Release | Trauma Informed Yoga (youtube.com)

Art

Poetry, drawings, music and every creative endeavour you can think of can be helpful in letting a trauma holder proccess their trauma and emotions. I have heard that one over and over again as being one of the most helpful ways of coping, their trauma holder didnt know where to put their anger until expressing it into art, and so on.

Following the emotion You lie down in bed, get comfortable and just let you and your trauma-holder in co-con follow the emotions and anxieties your trauma holder feels, this proccess can take a long time. You just let every emotion come and go and feel it to your fullest. This might cause strange bodily sensations like a current running through your body, body party to go numb, or sensations of pressure. Its important to be kind to each and every sensation and emotion. When you start feeling the emotion in the body like that you first start to appreciate how powerful your emotions truly are. At the end of this you may cry tears of real relief and feel a bit lighter.

Grounding excerises

10+ Mindful Grounding Techniques (Incl. Group Exercise) (positivepsychology.com)

there are multiple ones to use, they often help redirect a little bit and to get you or them out of a flashback.

All of these things take practice and repetition, you cant do them just once and expect your trauma holder to be free of their symptoms! It takes dedication.

[flightfoot]

Do you have any Felix fic recs?

Sure!

I Won't Let You by @generalluxun

After Gabriel's defeat, two individuals not party to the celebration run into each other, and find each other.

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In the Shadows by @19thsentry-blog

On one side is Luka, 140-year-old Snake Miraculous holder and keeper of the Guardian's secrets, on the other is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, a relatively newly minted hero of Paris and Guardian of the Miracle Box. Each is looking to fulfill their promises to their now gone mentors to reunite the Kwamis and keep them safe. Sounds simple--until you throw in a rocky start, the Atlantic Ocean, Félix Graham de Vanily, and a whole host of secrets…and suddenly simple becomes complicated (story of Marinette's life, right?).

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Succession Planning by @unecoccinellenoire

Félix has absolutely no interest in talking to anyone working for his cousin's father, but Nathalie Sancoeur is determined to make her request.

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to assess the equation of you by @marinetteplztakeabreak

“I’m not a wanted fugitive,” she said, dryly. “You could change that.” She wasn’t sure if he was joking. Wasn’t sure if she wanted him to be joking. She stared for a long second, as if she could read more into his intent in the pupils of his eyes. They stayed there for a long second, unblinking. OR: Félix and Kagami try to talk about that after credits scene in Pretension

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Found by @trishacollins

Chat Noir and Ladybug need to tie up some loose ends. Unfortunately, one of those ends is Felix.

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fruit filled garden maze by mooniecat3

A look into Félix' home-life in childhood.

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Trapped by @trishacollins

Felix asks to visit Adrien earlier, worried that his twin isn't responding to him on their bond. Gabriel catches him snooping and makes some assumptions about why. It gets worse from there.

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La nuit, tous les chats sont gris by @ninadove

In which the Cat Miraculous grants Adrien much needed freedom — even if he's not the one wielding it.

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Felix is Fine by SortaArtsy

Felix wakes up sick, but is determined to keep it under wraps. Kagami refuses to be fooled. Feligami fluff. Implied past trauma/ abuse, though nothing explicit. Set post S5 so there are SOME SPOILERS!

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Betcha On Land (They Understand) by @redundant-lava

As a young merman, Felix is fascinated by all things human. His father, the king of the ocean, has forbidden him from going to the surface, and Felix of course obeys. But when Felix accidentally crosses paths with a human princess, his whole world is turned upside down. What can he do to see her again? How can he escape his father’s control? (A Feligami Little Mermaid AU)

---

Eat, Pray, Duck by @trishacollins

Gabriel Agreste split his twin sons apart when his wife died, keeping one with him and sending one to London with his sister. Unfortunately, the Supreme was not willing to let this be. He wanted a matched set. Felix is a weapon, a servant of the Supreme. On a mission to retrieve the stolen Miraculous. In a world that has outlawed kindness, sometimes the most dangerous person is the one who chooses it anyway.

---

Boulangerella by @aidanchaser

Once upon a time, magic was wild. The two princes of the kingdom have been tasked with choosing their brides by the end of their 21st birthday celebrations. Crown Prince Adrien Agreste will have to choose between a woman who can protect his kingdom, a woman offering the power to wake his sleeping mother, and the woman he has loved and admired for the past year. Then there's also the seamstress that he is suddenly falling for. By the time he realizes he doesn't have the power to choose at all, it may be too late.

[jabberwock-islanders]

this is a headmate positivity post because i can do what i want

i am genuinely SO PROUD of lloyd right now

a lot of you guys might know that we recently started up a system hot takes blog (steaming-system-takes for anyone who isnt familiar). a message we got in our ask box today was honestly leaning more towards a hate take than a hot take and was accusing another blog of "angry ranting" in a call out post about another hot takes blog (thats recently been deleted) while complaining that one of our submission rules on our blog was that we wouldnt post anything that had misinfo. essentially the anon was going on a tangent about how we should be posting sources to debunk misinfo instead of.. not spreading it?? i guess?? idk we still dont really get where the anon was coming from tbh (im obviously summarizing and paraphrasing but you can find the post in question on the sideblog if youre curious)

so we see this ask and theres a part at the end of it that was basically saying "be careful or youll be next" (which you should NEVER say to anyone, thats shitty) and our paranoia was starting to spike because, you guessed it, saying shit like that can trigger someones paranoia

heres where lloyd comes in. lloyd is one of our trauma holders. he saw the ask, noticed that we were getting paranoid, saw how fucking pissed i was about the whole thing, and decided to take it into his own hands. he sat there for maybe 45 minutes??? writing out a response to it as best as he could, explaining that the blog isnt made for debunking misinformation and that the person who made the original call out post had a right to be angry about it. even though we were dealing with both paranoia and my lash-out, he still managed to successfully confront it and as a result help us calm down about it

even with all that shit working against him, he was able to defend us. he was able to de-escalate everything and handle it maturely. and as a protector i couldnt be more proud of a non-protector headmate being able to stand up for us like that

i fucking love my headmates, man. theyre all so capable and theyre all sweethearts (at least the ones ive met so far). anyone who fucks with them is gonna get their shit rocked in the worst way possible istfg

[headmate-sanctum]

May I request an alter pack based on Vox from Hazbin Hotel, using the longer template? Maybe one that disconnects from/is distant from source and was abused by Val if you're comfortable with that?

Here's your request. I'm not sure if I separated them enough from source or not. Feel free to take and leave whatever you'd like of course. - Scott

TWs: mentions of abuse.

Name: Vox, Vex, Cyber, Zed, Varian, V, Vee

Age: ageless (adult but without an age)

Pronouns: it/he (possible neos include zap/zaps, cy/ber, ze/zir, byte/bytes, terra/terras)

Gender(s): boything, masc mechanica

Orientation: demiromantic + biromantic (masc preference), asexual

Source(s): hazbin hotel (not very connected to source but has some memories)

Role: traumaholder, anger holder, info manager

Personality: easily irritated, prone to thinking the worst about everyone cy meets, would rather act first and push people away rather than getting hurt, has a sensitive side and longs for close companionship despite its irascible nature. As a trauma holder, it struggles with flashbacks and reacting poorly to circumstances that remind it of what it went through in his source. Due to this, cy remains fairly withdrawn from people ber doesn't know even though byte is desperate for companionship.

Interests: coding, gaming, scrolling through reddit posts, getting lost on wikipedia

Extra info: has negative memories from source due to abuse he faced from Val. Despite these memories, byte is fairly disconnected from source.

Likes: the color blue, math, solving problems, reddit, loud music, dark spaces

Dislikes: nature, being too hot or too cold, pop music, moths

Emojis/signoff: 🖥,📺,💙

Quirky/silly fact: will sometimes finish zir sentences with a "bzz" or "zzt" over text and when he speaks there's often the sound of TV static.

Kins: cyberpunk (the aesthetic), old TVs (the box ones with antennae)

Appearance: can be both its source appearance or a human one. The human one has shaggy teal or blue hair, an eyebrow piercing, a constant scowl, heterochromia that he covers up using sunglasses.

Faceclaims: I included the source faceclaim plus a picrew.

[furiousgoldfish]

How to process trauma as a multiple (a person with dissociative identity disorder, OSDD or DID), taken from the book "Becoming Yourself: Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse" by Alison Miller.

First part of processing trauma as a multiple is that you need all of the parts that are holding some memory of that event; you need the pain holders, the sensation holders, anyone who was present or saw what happened, anyone who holds even a tiny bit of memory or pain or sight or sound, needs to cooperate in order for the trauma to be processed correctly. Unprocessed trauma can be used to trigger you, to trigger your parts, in case of mind control even to control their actions, it can cause emotional flashbacks, make you feel like you're re-living it or are stuck in it, often some parts will be stuck in the moment and unable to get out. In order to process it, the trauma needs to be put back together from all of the parts, and then processed only cognitively – meaning, without any emotion or sensation involved, just seeing and realizing what had happened to you, and with what results for your life. Then, you can introduce emotion and sensation to it, and your brain can make correct connections to what kind of feeling and pain was caused by what event, and store that information properly. Once you have all of the event completely understood and all of the emotions linked to the events they were caused by, the memory should be complete and able to get stored in the long-term memory side of the brain, where it will finally start fading, like normal memories do. Once it's there, it's unable to cause any more emotional flashbacks, panic attacks, or trauma symptoms, it would become a regular memory.

Now, how to do this when you're a multiple and you have many different insiders holding parts of that trauma, a lot of them unwilling to uncover what their part of it is, some of them holding just some of the sensation and some of the pain and unaware of the rest? What needs to be done is explaining to each of them what you're planning to do, and persuading them to give their part of the memory or feeling that they're holding, because it's going to make the burden of it lighter, and they will not be judged or punished for it. For some people, this will mean working around with other parts, that are assigned to punish certain parts for showing emotion or revealing information – they also need to be persuaded to not punish or sabotage the process. The book claims you don't even need to know all of the alters, just ask who has any part of the memory and persuade them, with explanations and benefits to what you're doing, to participate.

Once you have them all in, you need to get a big box, or a treasure chest, or a big bucket, or it can be a storage box, and you tell them to put all of the emotions, sensations, pain, fear, panic, anxiety, grief, anger, sexual feelings, bonds, love, shock, terror, anything they might be holding from that event, to put that feeling into the box. I was surprised to find out I could do this, because I've never done anything like it, but I could easily feel relief when every single sensation got sealed in the box, it was almost unbelievable. Then, you all sit together in front of a projector, or a television, or in my case, I physically transported us all in front of the event, so that we could watch it all happen. This way, all parts get a complete memory of the event, and awareness of what actually transpired, instead of the small part they were holding onto. First time you watch the memory, you watch it without any feelings or bodily sensations, all of that is in the box, and if you start feeling something, you pause, and put that feeling into the box, to continue watching the event using only the cognitive side of your brain. That is the only way you can get a good idea of what happened, without getting completely overwhelmed with sensations and pain. For the memory I was processing, I even cut the sound out and put it in the box, because it was less painful to see it without hearing it.

After seeing it once, you introduce feelings, little by little, and you don't need to feel it all in full extent. It's enough to add a little bit of feeling only to help your brain to connect it to the event. Just to link whatever discomfort, pain, sensation, grief and shock is related to the event at hand, it doesn't need to be felt in full all over again. You watch the memory again and again, until you're able to connect every sensation and emotion to it's cause. If there's any part of the memory missing, any sensation or information or feeling that you can't recall, you ask what part has got it, and ask them to put it in, to find out just what is hiding in that trauma.

When you're sure as you can be that every memory is back in it's place, you talk to all the parts to hear their version of how it felt and what they're feeling and thinking about it. You see what information they've gained from it, and how it changes their view of their function, or their life experience. If some are in grief, shock or terror, you make sure to offer them comfort and bring them back from the despair of it, and show them that other, different things happen in the future, that protect you from anything like that happening again.

After you've managed to do this, you can put the entire memory into the box (or treasure chest, or bucket, or whatever you feel is most appropriate), with a little opening for the chance that some other part of it will come up and need to join the memory, and the box can be stored as a processed memory. This should help your brain to store it as a long-term memory and for it to stop causing trauma symptoms.

I unfortunately have not been able to complete processing a single memory this way yet, because I keep missing parts and pieces, and parts holding them will not come up or cooperate with me, but I am hopeful that figuring out more about my parts and system will eventually enable me to process trauma properly. The information on how to do it gave me options to do things I couldn't do before. For instance, I could approach my child insiders who are stuck in the past, and show them the events of me running away from the abusers, having another place I can live in, show them that different future is possible and that freedom is possible. For those who've been brainwashed, I've been able to show them the events where the person who brainwashed them later abandoned them, ceased their function, and later distanced themselves to the point where they no longer recognize my voice or my face. (This sadly, only put my child insider into deep grief because they depended on that abuser for having a purpose and they're now just upset full time.)

I'm sharing this for the chance that someone else needs this and can use this information. I've never seen it laid out like this before. The examples shown in the book told the story of people taking a few years to intensively work on processing trauma, and then overcoming the symptoms of ptsd, which I find incredible and hard to even believe, having the ptsd symptoms for over 10 years now.

If anyone needs this book and is currently unable to buy it, I'm willing to share the pdf privately.

[the-silent-fellowship]

Binded to the Mind

Binding of Issac AU

[PT: Binded to the Mind | Binding of Issac AU]

Hiiiiiii, system here who has a obsession with the Binding of Issac and have had this HC/AU idea for a hot minute so ima post it here ig. I would on the fandom blog we have but I like to explain shit with system terms and I’d rather not have system demonizers find it easier.

Anywho. Too the basics! (It’s long so go under the cut)

Firstly the systems host and assumed original is of course, Issac. Issac is the oldest known headmate in the system yet is the youngest within the headspace. Most to all the others are adults, teens, or older kids. The system is spiritive-heavy with a lot of figures seen form the Bible or at least heavily influenced by it. The system is Traumagenic…if not obvious why. Listed bellow this is general info about each character!

Order: Name, Pronouns, Gender, Roles

Issac, He/Him, Genderfluid, Host (autism creature)

Magdalene, She/Her, Transfem, Co-Host & Main caregiver (A caring woman who shows affection to all)

Cain, He/They, Male, Co-Host & Main Protector (one of the first formed he kinda just sticks out. New York accent)

Judas, Only Name, Unknown, Charge(link) (formed and immediately tried to gets mothers help before being pushed away)

??? (Blue), It/They, Unknown, Urge Holder & Trauma Breaker (formed during the chest incident)

Eve, She/They, Demigirl, Urge Holder (…no comment)

Samson, He/Him, Male, Protector & Anger Holder (after a bit they got so mad that they like swore at their parents)

Azazel, Any, Genderfluid, Janusian(link) & Ex-Co Host (a chaos gremlin who needs a leash)

Lazarus, He/Him, Male, Shock Absorber(link) (tends to be the one at front when they get hurt. He hates it$

Eden, All Pronouns, Pangender, Mood Booster & Symptom Holder (she is one of the few who knows about most of their disorders but like tells no one)

The Lost (Casper), It/Its, Agender, Sadness Holder & Fear Holder (Formed during the chest incident and thinks that they are dead)

Lilith, She/Her, Transwoman, Parental figure & caregiver (she was formed during a time when the parents where fighting and she acts as a form of getting a healthy parent relationship)

Keeper (Cuddles), By name, Non-binary, Comforter & Archivist (Keeper in this AU is based off a toy Isaac has that formed into a headmate)

The Forgotten (Skulls), They/Them, Nonbinary, Masker (The soul acts as a backup)

Bethany, She/Her, (trans)Woman, Religion Holder & Persecutor (Bethany is the only member who actively attempts to hurt the body as a act of punishment due to the religous beliefs)

Jacob & Esau, He/They, Systemgender(link), Protectors & Trauma Holders (The two are mentally linked so can be accounted as the same. When they are separated they end up having self districtive actions)

Tainted characters in this AU are just the aftermath of the system leanring and processing their trauma. So in the beginning of the AU it takes the story but makes it that they end up not dying due to the chest. The mother realizes she fucked up and tries her best to rekindle a relationship with them. She ends up getting suggested a (Christian) therapist who believes they are possessed .

Later on they do find a better one and are able to diagnose them with what they are. They go though the motions to figure out who everyone is and process everything!

If you’d want to see more please let me know! I really love the concept of plural TBOI and I know there are others who HC the charaters as such! If anyone has questions feel free to put them into the ask box! (Also we may do doodles for it)

(Tag being I mentioned this like a bit ago to you @dove-tears)

[toxicflamesystem]

Kay used to call me "the Safe" (like a metal lock box) the same way she calls Yami "the Shield." We discovered our plurality on our own and never learned all these terms we're learning now.

But I'm starting to realize what I am is some variety of "trauma holder." And dammit if it isn't all of it.

Grief over death? ✅

Attachment? ✅

Lost love? ✅

And while I may hold onto things for the others, I have all of my own trauma as well. Both from memories of a life before being part of this system, and from this life.

...

I miss the person who got their hands inside "the Safe." (Guess I still think like a dirty thief. Heh.) And I'll never let go. Ever.

It's agony. And I'm so damn sick of hurting.

Let's just pile on the pain then. I'm too stubborn to back down.

"Sé onr orë waíse quanta abr dunei."

~Anwyr

[falsebrothers-collective]

Intro Post

Hello all!! We are the False Brothers Collective! We are a traumagenic DID system, we have auDHD, and we are a partner system to the ShiftySystem.

*Bodily white, bodily a minor*

A (noncomprehensive) list of our alters

Luis (they/them/she/he) - Host, gatekeeper

Androgyne, Aroaceflux, Pan

Echo (stat/static) - Protector

Fersomnic, bi, demisexual

Lacy (she/they) - Caretaker, trauma holder

Demigirl, pan

Sammie (any) - Doekid

Xenogender, pan

Uke (he/they) - factive, joy holder

Demiboy, biromantic, heterosexual

Reed (he/him) - fictive, caretaker

Boy, demisexual, hetero

Do Not Interact

Basic DNI criteria; don't be an asshole, respect us

No discourse, especially syscourse - we support everyone

Anti-Recovery, Pro-Harassment, Spread Misinformation, Ableists, Anti-Self Diagnosis, Fakeclaimers, Pro-ED or Self Harm Blogs

TERFs, GenderCrit, Radfems, Anti-Split Attraction

Queerphobic/Queer Exclusionists

Truscum, Transmeds, Trans Elitist, Anti Non-Dysphoric Transgender, Anti Intersex, Anti Polyam, Anti GNC

MAPs/NoMAPs, Pedophiles, Zoophiles, Necrophiles

Xenophobic, Racists, Sexists, Incels, Nazis, Fascists, Antisemitism, Islamophobia, MAGA Drones, Conservatives, Pro-Forced Birth

User boxes!

[cosmichighpriestess]

2023 the Year of Chaos

Beginning today we stop overextending ourselves. We stop giving to situations and people that don't appreciate us. We become focused only on ourselves and our happiness and becoming the best versions of ourselves for ourselves-- for the collective. We are releasing the weight of the world off of our shoulders. Your higher vibration is the most needed at this time. Your vibration impacts the entire collective consciousness.

You need not focus on anything else, except your daily responsibilities. Because your vibration will have the biggest impact on the world--not your intellect, not your abilities, not your money, not your self sacrifice will have the biggest impact. Only your vibration will. We must remember that we cannot control temporary circumstances outside of ourselves but we can control ourselves, how we react and how we shift, how we want to create or manifest the future. In my 2023 forecast I said, that 2023 was going to be very chaotic but this does not mean you need to fear anything.

This is when the real New Year begins. You are going to see many confused, disillusioned people, brainwashed by the "dark forces", acting out of ego, waking up from the darkness coming to light. Mass awakenings. You can rely on the energy healers, spiritual lightworkers, witches, the new age spiritualists, the master manifesters, the light holders, the light warriors, astrologers, reiki masters, the monks, the shamans, the magicians, the seers, Earth Angels, psychics, the changemakers, the chosen ones, empaths, the enlightened ones ect. Any label you want to give us, we're all healers in different slices of personalities and ways and we're all connected whether you like it or not. Anyone that gives you a cool calm and collected vibe, is an obvious master, stable and grounded that seems to be confident that everything is going to be okay. They are the ones you can turn to and rely on when everything looks chaotic. Your energy of fear, pain, anxiety, unworthiness, scarcity, and victim mentality is creating blockages in your energy flow. The trauma, from your intense emotions that you cannot process gets stuck in different chakras, waiting to be released.

They will teach you how to break toxic cycles and patterns you've been stuck in. They are going to be teaching in chaos, being the eye in the storm. Pluto will help you break free from those toxic cycles that literally kept you in hell. Please do, and I highly recommend getting a psychic reading this year so that you can do some past life healing trauma,shadow work and advice on your next moves, or connecting with a loved one you've been avoiding. Pluto aka Hades, Pluto is moving back into Aquarius after 225 years. Society as a whole is going to change forever. Aquarius energy is out of the box and inventive. You are going to see more riots, more protests, more inventions and change, more angry change is needed, and Pluto is all about death and rebirth. So embrace the chaos, remember to keep a balanced steady routine daily, so your routine doesn't change, you stay the eye in the storm unbothered by the chaos around you and remember you create your reality as the God or Goddess of your entire Universe, because remember you are the entire Universe experiencing itself.

Remember the chaos creates positive change, it is for your benefit so relax, focus on what you want to create. You create the unknown from the now so there's nothing to fear if you create the unknown. Remember to not take any fear or anxiety as personally yours, release your burdens, give your problems to the Universe/God/Source to handle for you and enjoy your life because it's meant to be enjoyed especially if you've already suffered enough, ecstacy is yours for the taking. Be kind to yourself, your past self and future self are all doing the best they can. Get as much rest as you can. Welcome to the second coming. It is safe for your light to be seen. Relax, and breathe through the waves of the storm. Let your light guide your sight.

[schrodingersauthorii]

I have a Horrible Exorcists Miraculous Ladybug fusion. It goes something like this:

Natori Shuuichi and Matoba Seji are the ladybug and black cat, respectively. Nothing about them has changed. They are both adult exorcists with their same jobs, now they just have to deal with akuma too.

They were the absolute last choice for Miraculous holders. Natori found Tikki after she was lost for decades right as akuma reemerged. Matoba got roped into it because of their fucked up narrative foil relationship, which is close enough to partnership for kwami magic. Absolutely no one is happy, but good luck finding physically capable, intelligent, mentally stable, AND morally upright soul mates in this economy. They don’t want to take over the world, and have the right reflexes and strategic thinking from exorcisms. That’s going to have to be good enough.

Plagg outright refuses to tell Matoba how to use the Black Cat’s powers. He accidentally kills an akuma possessed person anyways. (PTSD+ claws + chokehold = big oops.) Natori is the only person who knows, since Miraculous Cure brought them back and there weren’t any other witnesses.

This is a character defining moment for the both of them. Exorcism is ROUGH. Murder is never far off the table, apparently, and they’ve got enough baggage for a regional airport. Which they feel compelled to somehow explain to their fated partner stranger coworker after a workplace accident like THAT.

And they sound like they’re on the same page without all the surrounding context: they’re both traumatized in ways that interfere with their lives and relationships, both believe that they have a duty to protect others, and that sometimes the ends justify the means. But narrative foils gonna foil, and WE know how differently those traits and values actually play out.

Their weapons are a calligraphy brush and an oil paper umbrella. They have absolutely no suspicions about each other’s identity. They’re barely hanging on by virtue of the Maneki Neko Miraculous holder, an idealistic teenager they’d immediately sideline if they weren’t dependent on barely sub lethal levels of caffeine and his Beckon Health ability. (Yes, this is Natsume.)

Matoba’s identity is the first casualty. He simply runs out of time and de-transforms, fortunately only in front of his teammates. Natsume and Natori are outraged, but more sympathetic than they might would have been before the Miraculouses.

They don’t LIKE him, they’re bonded by trauma and fate, okay?

Next, Natori gets caught transforming on camera. He doesn’t end up, like, in jail or anything. If anything, the government is TOO accommodating. But his exorcist and acting career are definitely on indefinite pause. And smoozing with politicians sucks.

Natsume gets straight up kidnapped when his identity is compromised. He can beckon luck, wealth, customers, health, romance or even academic success (as different colored maneki neko) but even the evil banishing black maneki neko isn’t useful in combat against a human. Not an akuma, not the butterfly Miraculous holder, just some dude. Oi. He gets rescued, of course.

The fic ends when Natori and Matoba defeat and kill the butterfly holder- surprise! Another exorcist. Possibly Ban or Matoba’s sister, possibly an OC depending on how the manga progresses. The death is ruled an accident, as it happens after Miraculous Cure is used. Exorcists miraculously remain below the public radar, and quickly vote to make using a Miraculous an executable taboo. (Not retroactively applied.)

Natori and Matoba GLADLY surrender their Miraculouses, and give the Guardian several industrial strength wards for the box. Things go back to normal, but with everyone’s brains slightly but fundamentally altered by the experience. Everyone, everyone: magic and the occult are mainstream now, and exorcism picking up again. With all the good and bad that entails.

[system-of-a-feather]

Do you think knowing your role is really important? Like protectors are pretty clearly protectors for us but I'm just a teen alter who's sad a lot. Maybe I'm taking the labels too literally? I hold trauma memories but that's not all I do...I think maybe we were heavily misled by DID youtubers. Like our old host stressed themselves out so much when they first discovered the system because they heard that alters are trapped in trauma memories like a mind hell and also they can DIE. But I was one of the alters they were worried about and I'm not trapped.

Naaaaahhhhh. And honestly, we are very disillusioned and not a fan of DID Youtube all together really. The only one we really would recommend to any level is M&M and even then, I would say to take it with the note that they are sharing a fraction of everything and only what they are comfortable sharing publicly. Beyond that, I reallly would try to not take DID Youtube too seriously or really as anything too particularly informational.

Specifically also, don't fuck around with DissociaDID shit, we won't go into our detailed opinions on them, but they're arguably the worst in terms of both active message and information and the passive subcontext and lessons they share on there. I am personally of the believe that in most cases DissociaDID's video sets people up for failure if used for anything more than just a "heres the very very basics of how things kinda tend to be like sometimes" and/or an introduction to the chaotic mess. I say this as an ex-fan.

But DID Youtube aside, nah, I don't really think roles are all too important at all and honestly I heavily promote making up your own ones. The label of roles - especially the official ones - should serve more to communicate to therapists and outsiders (of the system) key dynamics and ways of existing of some parts to others. I find that using your own words and labels to describe your system helps create a more catered perspective to approaching how your system works.

The general paradigm of "protector" "trauma holder" "persecutor" "gatekeeper" stuff works very well as a template for understanding alter dynamics and so it works for a lot of people starting up good enough, but I feel as you go further into recovery, you benefit more from having custom and curated terms that apply more specifically to your system and those roles are better used for internal purposes.

And even then, its perfectly fine to not have a role cause existing (DID or not) is not about having a specific duty or role to fit into, it is and should be solely to just live and enjoy things. Getting too bogged down in what part is doing what for what reason tends to keep parts from actually just existing beyond the chaos of their disorder - which is something XIV had taught us cause we used to be pretty heavy with roles in the past. You exist and that should come first before trying to fit you into a box or into the machine because you existing is more important that what you have to offer.

Lin is in a similar situation to you from the little I know - a teen alter that is a trauma holder that does more than just hold trauma but nothing too drastically large - and thats super fine and cool. He's not doing anything, he is just living and learning to live and thats all we expect from him. We're happy when we see him happy and we don't really care what he is supposed to be doing or what role he plays cause man fuck that shit.

We are just here to live. It benefits none of us to be trying to focus on "work" within the system when we have a life to live.

I am of the opinion that roles help in relaxing and getting an understanding to the general idea of how DID works, but past that stage of confusion of early healing, its kinda just best to let that go and really just learn to live again.

Hyper focusing and trying to organize and understand everything in DID is honestly ruminating and fixating and staying in trauma - inherently - and will keep you regularly trying to pick apart trauma and ruminate in it - directly or not - if you are worrying too much about labels and roles and how everything works exactly. It's easier said than done and it took us years to get here, but imo the best way to live peacefully with DID is to really just let it be.

It's scary if you aren't there yet and its not something you can really rush or force, but that's my personal secret advice as someone at functional multiplicity. You don't need to understand you DID to have great peace with it, hell I'd even argue that its pointless to try to understand your DID (might not be true cause we're polyfragmented so maybe for non pf systems its less of a wild goose chase, but for us we just came to terms and accepted that this shit is nonsensical and trying to make sense out of it is more of a headache than its worth)

[cozza-frenzy]

Meet The Alters of the Magical Mystery Box!

Chaos D. Stortion Pronouns: It/Its, Twist/Twists Age: Adult Species: Living Cartoon (Avatar Of The Spiral) Orientation: Panromantic Pansexual, Polyamorous Source: Roleplay Character (Original) Role In System: Gatekeeper (Access To Headspace Areas), Trauma Holder Likes: Anything strawberry-flavored, memes, making people laugh, DJing and performing Dislikes: Hurting people, people getting hurt, silence, being alone Notable Relationships: Nebula (romantic partner, other system), Len (romantic partner, other system), Terry (queerplatonic, in-system), Holiday (queerplatonic, in-system), Velocity (adopted child, in-system), Roses (co-fronter for performances)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Spiral Posting Taffy Brewer Pronouns: He/Him, They/Them, Star/Stars Age: Adult Species: Hybrid Monster (Object Head (Teacup) / Ghost) Orientation: Demiromantic Gay Source: Roleplay Character (Outertale AU) Role In System: Caretaker (Exercise, Cleaning), possible Trauma Holder Likes: Space-themed aesthetic, plants, outdoor exercise, fruits and vegetables,cold weather, Hyi (parallel play/introvert friend), "Roses" (cooking and grocery shopping buddy) Dislikes: Eating meat, people raising their voices, crowds Notable Relationships: Roses (best friend, frequent fronting partner), Hyi (likes to hang out)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Cosmic Latte "Roses Gardens" Pronouns: Any/All Age: Adult Species: (Chooses not to disclose) Orientation: Demiromantic Gay Source: (Chooses not to disclose) Role In System: Caretaker (Medical, Cooking), In-System Medical Care

Likes: Singing, doing announcements for our live listens, comfort food, flowers, cooking, cute dresses Dislikes: Feeling tired, being talked over, talking about their source in great detail Notable Relationships: Taffy (best friend, frequent fronting partner), Rakugaki (pressure therapy), Chaos (co-fronter for performances), Roy (in-system medical team)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Restless Nights Hyi Pronouns: None (or It/Its when more convenient) Age: Adult Species: Extraterrestrial Data-Based Lifeform Orientation: Aromantic Asexual Source: Music production alias from Halley Labs Role In System: Gatekeeper (Access To Front), Knowledge Keeper, In-System Communication Likes: Documentaries, museums, lost media preservation, electronic music, feeling useful, pretty much everyone in-sys, communicating to folks outside the system by relaying messages Dislikes: Anything that destabilizes our system, anything that distracts Hyi from doing Hyi's job, being in active control of the body Notable Relationships: Ari (helps with maintenance), Taffy (likes to hang out), Chaos (helps with DJing)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Data Acquired

Velocity Raptor Pronouns: She/They Age: Minor (Age Slider - ranges 6-15) Species: Anthro Velociraptor Orientation: Lesbian Source: Mascot of AGDQ/SGDQ Role In System: Trauma Holder

Likes: Speedruns, video games, rock music, head pats, chewy stim toys, animated movies, the adults in-system but especially Chaos (big sibling) and Terry (parent) Dislikes: Sour flavors, unfamiliar food, being ignored or excluded, involuntary regression Notable Relationships: Terry (adopted parent, in-system), Chaos (adopted parent, in-system)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Gotta Blog Fast Rakugaki Riot Pronouns: It/Its, They/Them, Paint/Paints Age: Adult Species: Genius Loci (protective spirit of a place) Orientation: Aromantic Asexual Source: Euphoriaverse (Original Work) Role In System: Protective Guardian, Gatekeeper (Remove From/Add To Front), Peacemaker Likes: Sweet Drinks, music, art of any kind Dislikes: Cops, bigots, messy environments, the front getting crowded, disruptions to the system (fights between alters etc.) Notable Relationships: Roses (helps with pressure therapy), Charlie (helps with painting projects)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Slushie Kid Arachne "Ari" Webb Pronouns: She/Her Age: Adult Species: Splicer (Human with Spider DNA) Orientation: Bisexual Source: Brain-Made (no single source) Role In System: Knowledge Keeper, System Maintenance Likes: Horror movies, gothic fashion, science, spiders Dislikes: Being forced to front (not a frequent fronter) Notable Relationships: Hyi (helps maintain system function and manage communication)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Ari's Webb Holiday Battenburg Pronouns: She/Her, Joy/Joys, Cake/Cakes Age: Adult Species: Party Dragon Orientation: Panromantic Asexual, Polyamorous Source: Brain-Made (no single source) Role In System: Mood Booster, Memory Holder Likes: Baked goods, bright colors, giving gifts, celebrations, vacations Dislikes: Loud buzzing noises, sounds of people in distress Notable Relationships: Terry (queerplatonic, in-system), Chaos (queerplatonic, in-system)

Personal Reblog Tag: #All Too Much Vivien DeMontes Pronouns: They/Them Age: Adult Species: Human-ish (Avatar Of The Dark) Orientation: Panromantic Asexual Source: Roleplay Character (Original) Role In System: Trauma Holder, Symptom Holder (Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Eating Disorder) Likes: Animated movies, art, dancing, singing in a duet Dislikes: Loud noises, cold weather, being out in the rain Notable Relationships: Martin (friend and personal caretaker)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Beyond The Shadows Shigeru "Fox" Renard Pronouns: He/Him, They/Them Age: Adult Species: Kitsune Orientation: Bi-romantic Bisexual Source: Brain-Made (No Single Source) Role In System: (Not sure yet) Likes: Imitating others in the system, flirting, puzzles, sculptures Dislikes: Children Notable Relationships: None so far

Personal Reblog Tag: #Intruder Alert Samuel Vimes Pronouns: He/Him Age: Adult Species: Human Orientation: Demiromantic Heterosexual Source: Discworld Role In System: Guardian, Gatekeeper (Forbidding access to dangerous areas in headspace)

Likes: Distressed pudding, bacon sandwiches, the sound of rain Dislikes: Injustice, inequality, others getting themselves in danger Notable Relationships: None so far

Personal Reblog Tag: #The Guarding Dark If you have any questions about us or about being a system, feel free to ask!

Dr. Roy Boss Pronouns: He/Him Age: Adult Species: Living Cartoon Orientation: Queer (still exploring) Source: Work-In-Progress Webcomic (Original Work) Role In System: Caretaker (Cleaning), Symptom Management (Eating Disorder), In-Sys Medical Care

Likes: Explosions, mad science, stories about villains Dislikes: Mentions of medical malpractice and neglect Notable Relationships: Dagwood (Nemesis, the hero to his villain), Roses (in-system medical team)

Personal Reblog Tag: #Boom Baby Boom